Today I decided to defy gravity, and well it hurt. I fell down...

But in all seriousness I found that being unemployed has given me time to work on things that seem to have crept up on me. I've been focusing inward on myself and doing some reading about Freud and Jung, two of the psychologists who seem to make some sense to me in terms of people and the like (hard to explain and for me to do that would take all day). Unfortunately all this reading has lead to a decline in my social life and my time on GA. I still lurk around but not as much interaction as I used to.

I figured today I'd take a break from reading so much and go into Philly where I'll explore a bit (the roomie is going as well, but he has a function to attend so he's dropping me off) and just have some fun, I think.

Onto a different topic...

For all of you who never moved, let me tell you it's hard as hell. Between getting a car registered, inspected, car needing repairs to pass inspection, changing address and getting mail forwarded to your new place, finding new doctors and all the like, it's not as hard as meeting new people and making new friends. It's been hell and thankfully I have two great roommates who are helping me to acclimate to the area (although the one drives me INSANE sometimes) it's still not the same as it was when I lived in New Jersey, where I could call a friend to go hang out, or go to the bar and talk with some bar buddies. Here it's different because it's a fresh start and the like, but it's starting to get to me.

I put on a mask sometimes and make it seem like nothing bothers me at all, that nothing gets to me. Sadly this is a bad way of dealing with things because it does get to me, like a knife to my soul. I miss my friends in Jersey and although I talk with them, it doesn't seem the same. I've been reconnecting with people I went to school with out here, but it's still not the same. I guess lately all I want is to make some friends and be the person I was in Jersey, but it's just not working out that way. The worst part is that my outlet to deal with all of this has taken a hit as well, my writing and photography hobbies.

Whenever I got stressed out, I would write or take pictures but now, I can't do either. It feels like my mojo has left me and it sucks. I'm working on it, but in the mean time all I can feel is like shit and sometimes I just feel lost. So I guess I will just work on it some more and from there, make peace with everything and just start fresh, although at my current rate I'll be 80 heh.

Oh btw, the worst part of everything is that the A/C in my car died, I needed new tires AND it needed an oil change/tune-up. Fun times because that just ate away at my non-existant funds. Hope I get a new job soon... that might help bring me out of my funk.

Eric