Well, as I said, I went to West Palm Beach over the week.

The trip was a business oriented session that was both fun and interesting. I've usually been able to control my drinking to prevent myself from going into la-la land, but I did not during the staff Christmas party down there. Two coke and rums, plus 3 glasses of Chardonnay in two hours, I had my very first black out in years.

I don't know if everyone experiences the same things during a black out, but mine was very odd and sort of introspective. People were having conversations all throughout the room and it began turning dark all of a sudden. At first, the conversations began to soften and my head felt like a rush of blood had entered it. Then everything became black for what felt like several seconds. I saw a few traces of lights and a strong intensity of muffled sounds. Part of me felt some fear, but on another level, I felt relief like all the strains on my life had passed.

Then, I began to see the light of the room again and hear the voices of everyone in the room. The tightness around my head dissapated and all was normal. Despite the seeming calmness of my body, I opted to head back to my hotel room for a night of rest.

In my dreams, I had experienced something of a happiness, far more than I have ever sensed in my life. I was walking down my familiar neighborhood and a scrawny looking guy began a conversation with me. For some reason, I felt completely at eased with him and felt contentment. He was nerdy and probably would not win any GayVn awards for appearance, but I felt an absolute peace being around him.

Then, I woke up, but did not wish to actually leave that peaceful dreamlike world.

The rest of the week seemed routine to me like everything was just perfectly pitched. I did my job, checked numbers, and worked around different systems for the insurance adjusters that my new firm works with.

So that's my week in a nutshell, I don't know if it was an alcohol fueled dream of heaven or my subconscious finding contentment in my new job and role or even my innate prophetic talents. I don't know, but something feels different in my life and my heart is changing.

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Now for some recent history, the soapbox is closing and I feel happy. I might be one of the biggest posters in that area of the forum in recent years and have outlived many members who have debated in there, but I have been the first guys hoping to see it gone. You need a thick skin, a lion's heart, and an indominable will even to survive in that place during the last two election cycles.

American politics and events have dominated the area, with a handful of European observations. I enjoy European affairs like the Catalonia secession movement, the French/German systems of economics, and the fun UK news items.

Some topics were poignant and ahead of their time as I warned people like the growing fissures in the Republican party, between the alliances of conservatives. Among my own political spectrum, I have warned and counseled that we are seeing a realignment coming with the differences between populist politics and old platform politics.

Some times, I feel like Cassandra warning about the Greeks bearing gifts and trojan Hubris in our own illusory triumphs. Optimism sounds great, but Pessimism is functionally better. Republicans are far too optimistic and full of our own pride from the years of power, we have not prepared well for bad news or times. Pessimism should go hand in hand with Conservatives, but there are fewer cynics in our ranks like me.

Politics is in my blood and that won't change even without a Soapbox.