i dislike cutting throats to get noticed in this town. step over the next bloody corpse. moving up that line. it feels strange, trying to out-do. but nobody says it

but if it gets me somewhere, it must be okay.

its hard to create something without thinking of the consumer. to appease someone i don't even know. fuck

i think different is secretly accepted. which is good, good for me, good for you, good for us. but i still don't understand why its such a killing field. many a rapist is here, not that kind, the dream rapist kind. they take em.

its funny how you choose specific words to get somewhere, get in a place, get in someone. and it works. are some people easy on purpose? or am i manipulative...on purpose ...but it doesn't work all the time. not when you're meeting this big boss(s).

but i feel fortunate, the names i can say i know. but are names currency here?

different to them is unknown. unknown is good to me. you can fit things there.

they spread this fear, the kind of fear that hides in the word "no". its on their lips, waiting, they want to say it. say it so bad. you are not allowed. the gates of this town are protected, locked shut.

but you can't let them say it.

the days when things fell in my lap seem the fondest now.

whatever...mannn im moving to santa monica