rustle

Dude, I'm so sorry. At first, I thought this crap was milder than the flu, but a whole lot more transmissible, and the greatest threat was the burden on the health care system. The more they learn about this, the worse it seems to be. I'm sorry to hear about all your struggles with it, and I hope you see much relief soonest. I agree with Aditus regarding maskholes.

Strange to see a comment on this story after all this time. Thanks. It's been a while since I wrote it, but I still remember the chills it gave me. Figured if I could creep myself out...

K, you done good. I cannot say it enough. So this is for your readers. Follow this author. I've read his work on Nifty, and it was raw, but it had spirit and heart. I nagged him then about editing for him. Then he came to GA, and I finally convinced him to try working with me when I produced a fan email I'd sent him years ago. He busted his butt on this story, and it shows. He took it places I'd never expect, and took me with him. I love his characters, and I admire his vision. Track down some of his other work, and give it a chance. You won't be disappointed.

KD just posted chapter 25, and I've got to say, I really enjoyed it. I've written before about how rewarding it is to work with an author and see their work evolve. This is a prime example. If you follow this story, you'll see what I mean. If you haven't read any of it before, now is a good time to start. Congrats, KD, you done good. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Dude, I coulda told you that would be your result. Have you considered trying to fit the stereotype better? Maybe buy a Judy Garland album or something?

At 99, no discovery is easy. But with age has come the self-awareness that renders this "test" a lark.

Very gay. I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

There's a lot to like in this chapter. You started with good bones, but you fleshed it all out very well. Again, you went well beyond any suggestions I made, and your technique, especially on the last rewrite, was great, and smoothed out the chapter beautifully. I loved the internal dialogue from Ryder and the narrative when he and Tyler were texting, and the physicality he showed when he straddled Tyler on his bed. It helps put Ryder in context. He's a jock, so he's gonna be physical. The play between the two guys is really true to character, and makes me smile. Good character development on Mrs. K, and Coach's presence is pitched well. As for Jaxson, I just want to take him home with me, but he'd drive me nuts. Your writing has come a long way on this story. Tremendous effort, bud, great job.

This is a strong chapter. You had been drifting a bit, but this time, you're back on the rails. I just want to take Ryder home with me, but he's better off where he is. And he's coming to terms with himself and his memories. Too bad everybody doesn't have a support network like his. Some families, you're born into. Others, you build around yourself. Always a pleasure to pick up a new chapter. Good work, KD.

Unless it's a style thing, blame the editor. It's far too easy to overlook things, and mentally "fill in the blanks." Carlos raises a good point, in that language changes, and spoken language changes first, like it always has. In the beginning, there was the spoken word, and it was good. Then, somebody wanted to preserve that word, so they wrote it down. Then, somebody decided it all had to be standardized, and grammar was invented, so academicians could argue about Oxford commas.

I've read many stories that never mention clothing at all, some erotic. If My Little Pony decals on the fingernails add to the story, put 'em in. If it's Mac Weldon boxer briefs made of long-staple Egyptian cotton with a 512 thread count, in pomegranate and puce diagonal stripes with contrasting overstitching in silk embroidery floss of a pale celery color, well, that's just silly. Narrative descriptions serve lots of purposes. They can modify pacing, give clues to the character's nature, or directly contribute to the plot, as well as setting a mood, setting a stage, or any of a number of other purposes. Descriptions of underwear are just another tool. Use your tools wisely.

I loved working on .this chapter with you. You busted your butt on it, and it made it a lot of fun to edit. Damn good work.

Yup, I'm cross-training our boy here, working on another story, too, to keep the juices flowing. (He just thinks he's in good shape. We're gonna wring a lot more out of him.)

deja vu he's at it again

As an editor, I cannot claim to have a favorite. But I'm having a good time with this. Not sure who's making whom work harder... More, please.