Bah! This Thing's Dusty...
Jesus... I need my Swiffer duster. When was the last time I wrote in this thing? June of last year? Forget the duster; I need a car-parts cleaner.
Hi! How do blogs work again?
Okay, just went back and read every entry of this thing. Why didn't anyone tell me I was a rambling, little snot with no sense of punctuation? Heck, all I did was complain about my job.
Who am I kiddin'? I'll still complain about my job. It's so much fun to vent! But we gotta switch things up a bit, because I don't work third-shift in a grocery store anymore! Thank God! Now I sell booze.
Oooooooooh wee! Let me tell y'all something. There's nothing more fun than selling someone a bottle of alcohol they've never tried, and then seeing them come back in the next day to get another. Oh, I missed working in a liquor store. I worked in one years ago, and I forgot how fun it was to get someone
addicted hooked. It felt amazing to brush the rust off my bartending skills. So many simple recipes came back in an instant: Fireball + RumChata, peanut butter whiskey + blackberry moonshine...
And then I remembered 75% of local liquor sales are complete rotgut! Why spend $30 for a 750mL bottle of dang-good bourbon when you can get 1.75L of plywood-water for $16?
It almost feels like home to be working in a booze-house again. I rediscovered my love for wine, and that's been a blast!
And then I remembered this area of Kentucky's wine-culture is very diabetes-inducing. Sweet wines everywhere! Don't misconstrue this; I love a good dessert wine! There's even a ridiculously popular vineyard two hours from me, and they have some absolutely amazing wines. I genuinely forgot how creative these sweet wines can be.
But this area will have a steak dinner with a cotton-candy flavored wine without a moment of hesitation, and it's a crime against us self-proclaimed snobs! How dare they! Steak dinner means Pinot Noir minimum! Anytime a customer comes in asking for a Cabernet, I almost cry tears of joy and whisper, "You're here? You survived the sweets?"
Then... I play 20 Questions.
- Red or White?
- What branch of wine?
- What's the occasion?
- What's it being paired with?
- What's the price-point?
- Have you had this?
- Have you had that?
- How about this one?
- Are you sure?
- Are you really sure about that one? 'Cuz that Chardonnay is going on six years old. You're playing with the devil, gurl.
- Are you needing a second bottle?
- Three more? Daaaaang!
- Did you want to get two more? You'll get 10% off.
- Would you like a sample of this one? Of course you do, right this way!
- Would you like some of our homemade cheese spreads?
- Is this everything you need?
- Got a corkscrew?
- Would you like to donate to charity?
- Credit or debit?
- Need any help out?
The moment the customer leaves the store, I instantly deflate! Just crumple to the floor, making a balloon's tbthhhht sound.
Then the bourbon-hounds come marching in, and I grab Sheila's umbrella to use as a cane to hold myself up. If y'all didn't know, there's a Bourbon Boom going on right now. Every one is obsessed with bourbon all of the time, particularly certain brands. I kid you not, we have the same group of people come into the store at 8am sharp every day... just to see if we got certain bourbons in. These aren't even good bourbons either! The hunted product typically runs about $50-70, and these people will do anything to get their fingies (pronounced feen - <hard g> gees) on them. I've been cornered in an aisle by four men, and I usually have no complaint about that, but they were hounding me for the details! Truck shipment times, distribution secrets, who, what, where, when, how, and why can't you make the dang stuff appear from thin air? And if you think that's stressful, my company is so tight-lipped on all this! I say the wrong thing, and I'm instantly terminated! Holy crap! Yes, they take it that seriously! No, it's not actually that forkin' serious! Just grab a bottle of Woodford Reserve and call it a day.
Well, I think that's all the work-related stuff. All venting aside, I freaking love my job now! Decent pace, nice lulls in time where I can write, and a set schedule. Lovely!
How's writing going? I think it's going all right. <-- Ya see that! Finally! After all these years, someone actually told me I was misspelling that!
Alright All right. Hole-Lee-Crap. I am so happy to have met a certain someone on this site who was willing to smack my hands with a red pen. I'm still a long way to go until I'm confident to edit on my own, I've come a very long way. No more cocaine-laced third-person-omniscient. No more forgetting spaces after using an ellipses. Thanks Momma Val and Big Daddy Carlos!
I'm currently writing the last book of the In the Shadows trilogy, and my God... I'm restraining myself. There are so many cliffhangers I want to use for so many scenes, and if I used them all, I'm sure the comment section would throw a dang brick! A murder investigation, another investigation involving the EC, a third investigation in New York, two governmental summits, and the big showdown between Vincent and Stefan! *gasp* Water! I need my water bottle!
When the inspiration presents itself, I've been having fun writing in Rocky Prompts, Tennessee. They've been an absolute hoot to write, particularly Love in the Night and Paranormal Drinks.
All right, I'm pooped. Time for bed. I'll make sure I don't forget about this blog again. Might make it a monthly update thingy or something. Might throw in some existential quandaries, who knows!
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