My Daily Bread Crumbs 09 Jun 2022

Entry posted by sandrewn in Bread Crumbs 312 June 10, 2022

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https://gayauthors.org/blogs/entry/20564-my-daily-bread-crumbs-09-jun-2022/

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June 9th 2022 - Holidays and Observances

(click on the day for details)

Anniversary of the Accession of King Abdullah II (Jordan)
Autonomy Day (Åland)
Christian feast day:
- Aidan of Lindisfarne (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America)
- Bede (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America)
- Columba
- Ephrem the Syrian (Roman Catholic Church and Church of England)
- José de Anchieta
- Primus and Felician
- June 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
Coral Triangle Day
La Rioja Day (La Rioja)
Murcia Day (Murcia)
National Heroes' Day (Uganda)

Observances

International Dark 'n Stormy® Day

National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day

Johnny Depp

Fun Observances

Donald Duck Day

Celebrate everyone’s favorite cartoon character, Donald Duck on June 9, Donald Duck Day.

On this day in 1934, this popular Walt Disney character made his debut in the cartoon short named, The Wise Little Hen.

Created by Walt Disney, Donald Duck is a short-tempered cartoon duck with human features. Considered to be one of the most popular cartoon characters of all time, he featured in hundreds of movies and was the central character in thousands of comic books.

Donald Duck comic books are especially sought after in Europe and in Scandinavian countries, where fans of the character even have a special name. They are called Donaldists!

How to Celebrate?

Celebrate Donald Duck’s birthday by watching all of his movies and reading comics that feature him.
Host a Donald Duck-themed party. Have your guests wear red bow ties in honor of Donald.

Did You Know…

…that Donald Duck has a middle name? His full name is Donald Fauntleroy Duck.

***

We know you’d never do it, but some people concoct crazy stories so they can skip work. Here are a few, collected by hiring managers:

• Employee said a chicken attacked his mom.

• Employee had a hair transplant that went bad.

• Employee called in sick from a bar at 5 p.m. the night before.

• Employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the homeowners’ association.

• Employee’s finger was stuck in a bowling ball.

• Employee fell asleep at his desk while at work and hit his head, causing a neck injury.

***

If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

Attorney: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Attorney: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Witness: "Guess."

Attorney: "Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight."

***

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: “Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”

He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there’s breakfast. “Joe,” he says to his son, “what happened last night?”

“You came home soused and got that black eye tripping over a chair.”

“So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?”

“Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!’”

***

Are you a redneck? Want to be one? Take the Redneck IQ test and see how well you fare. Don’t look for answers. If you need them, you’re no redneck.

1) Which of these cars will rust out quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? ’65 Ford Fairlane ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle ’64 Pontiac GTO .

2) Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a ten-pound possum.

3) A woodcutter has a chain saw, which operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. Here’s the question: How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

4) If your uncle builds a still that produces 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?