In order to really connect your readers to the romantic stories that you write, you’ve got to keep in mind that it’s not always some giant swing of the pendulum that brings the mood and the tone from one extreme to the other. I think that it’s important to be able to recognize opportunities for all of those little giddy moments in between that can sometimes come off as being your biggest strengths. In fact, I’ve found that they can end up being the most touching and engaging parts of your story as a whole. An extra seasoning that will enhance the flavor of every other detail and event that you write around them. Intimacy, when you think about it...can be an effective binding agent that holds everything together. Gives it meaning. Power and purpose. And when done right...it can end up being one of the most erotic pieces of the puzzle when it comes to having your audience really feel as though they’re a part of the experience that you’re trying to build. Don’t write it off as a simple bonus to the rest of the story. It may just be the strongest weapon in your arsenal.

So let’s discuss the potent impact of ‘intimacy’ in your writing...

In earlier articles, I’ve talked about romance...and I’ve also talked about sex...but I feel like the art of writing ‘intimacy’ is something that hits on any number of points on the scale between the two. Now, this is where you can use a myriad of different emotions to create an exceptionally magical experience between your protagonist and their love interest. You can balance them out however you want, and mix and match them together like some kind of literary mad scientist! Whatever floats your boat! Hehehe!

You see...the thing with intimacy is that nothing big has to be taking place for it to really captivate people and draw them even further into this fictional relationship without exhausting your other tools in the process. (Save those for bigger moments. Right now, just tickle your readers with little hints and tender expressions of love without anybody getting naked or making any big confessions or grand gestures. Remember...intimacy exists between those two wide swings of the pendulum) There’s a subtlety to it that simply can’t be taught or manufactured. This is one of those things that you really have to feel in your gut. And your readers will be able to feel it too. Trust me on this.

This is another one of those ‘show, don’t tell’ moments where I think it works best when you strip everything down to its core...and just allow it to breathe. Don’t force it. Just allow it to happen. No sex needed. No groping, no kissing, no flirting...none of that. Shhhh...hehehe...give your characters a chance to discover the intimacy without any help or outside influence. You don’t even need dialogue. Enjoy the silence. Let them enjoy the silence.

Intimacy is, like...this unspoken beauty that really shines the more you focus on the delicacy of it. Like a soft wind blowing a few blossoms into a slight, but graceful, bend. It can be as simple as a bump of two boys’ elbows. The breath on your cheek. A gentle blush, or an extended moment of eye contact. The more hidden the expression, the more powerful its pull on the heartstrings of your readers. Just peppering a few of these moments throughout your story can really enhance the feeling of a loving bond that will ultimately enhance every other interaction that these two characters have together for the rest of the project. The little things count. They really do.

This is a full short film called “Running Without Sound” about two boys who have developed feelings for one another. I really like this one, but pay special attention to the scene that happens around 8:00 minutes. Where they’re together in a bedroom alone...and it hasn’t really been made clear whether they know the other boy is gay, despite their attraction. There’s this really intense, extended, silence between them...will they kiss? Not kiss? Say something? Stay quiet? Watching this, you can definitely find yourselves trapped in a moment of true intimacy. Not flirting or romance. Not sexual desire or contact. But all of the surreal moments of first love, and the possible promise for more. Tension, confusion, fear, yearning...rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing...searching for courage...that one extended moment touches on a variety of different emotions that seriously gets me all giddy and anxious every time I see it. But it’s cute and it’s awkward and just...extremely sweet! Hehehe, see for yourself.

The best part of intimacy in your stories, depending on how you write it, is that you can leave the erotic nature of these moments in the hands of your audience. Some will see it as a playful tease, others will find it to be the hottest part of the story. It’s all in the eye of the beholder, I suppose. But the key is to use these micro expressions to demonstrate a closeness that feels as though it is unique to these two characters alone. Something special that wasn’t meant to be shared with anyone else. You know? Using this method will set them apart from the typical boy meets boy story every time.

Again, the beauty is in its simplicity. Holding hands, running your fingers through your partner’s hair, or gently rubbing noses together between kisses. Whispers, I think, are a real turn on. And just allowing your hands to glide over the skin of your lover after making love. Even when it’s not sexual in any way...there’s a certain excitement involved in short and sweet moments of intimacy. No words spoken, no kisses exchanged. Take a look at this clip from the TV series, “The Fosters”...and just feel the tension and boyish thrill of being in this position when you were first discovering intimacy for yourself. This scene is amazing! I can practically feel the poor kid’s heart beating hard enough to get all chocked up myself! Hahaha!

Ahhhh….memories...

One of the reasons that I think intimacy and smaller moments of affection in our stories is so effective when it comes to speaking to the hearts of your readers is because it’s like being plugged into a dream. It’s the ability to be totally vulnerable and see the world through the eyes of a romantic ‘hero’ of ours...but from a place of safety and security. You get to reap the benefits without any of the real risk that would com with it if you were to engage in the same behavior in real life, you know? When you’re living through the unguarded exploits of a fictional character in a story, you’re allowed to immerse yourself even further into the fantasy than you would if there were consequences involved.

In a story, it’s ok to be awkward, or goofy, or to suddenly swoon and have a sudden ‘I love you’ outburst...knowing that it’ll be ok. I think there’s something really comfortable and alluring about that. So why not go for it? You’re the one with full control of the keyboard, aren’t you? The only limit is your imagination. Well...that and a suspension of disbelief, hehehe! But you get what I mean!

One more example, and again...intimacy isn’t about some big event, or some story changing situation or plot twist. It’s not about a graphically, well written, sex scene, or a spoken exchange that was designed to bring tears of joy to your eyes. Those moments are needed too, and they work wonders when the time is right. But just a few random touches here and there, a few smiles across a crowded room, or a slightly awkward giggle between friends, can go a long way in your writing. Think of it this way...how would you feel accidentally bumping shoulders with a stranger on the bus...as opposed to bumping shoulders with the biggest boyhood crush you’ve ever had in a crowded elevator?

Yep...that right there! You feel it? Hehehe, go ahead and smile! I won’t tell anybody!

That’s the difference!

This clip is from the show “Ugly Betty”, where the family pretty much knows their son is gay, but he refused to accept it...until now. And decided to ask his secret boyfriend to dance right there in front of everybody. It’s an intimate moment that really adds a whole new flavor to anything that could have come after that moment. (Unfortunately, I think that was the end of the series. But it would have) Like I said, intimacy is simple, but the impact is massive when used right.

Not everybody is a modern day poet. Nobody spends their entire day giving and receiving flattering platitudes of love. And if all we did was have sex every day...how would the rest of the world even function. LOL! Who would want to do anything else, right?

No. Sometimes...the best moments of life come from sharing a dance, a tender kiss on the cheek, or simply putting two straws in the same milkshake. Take advantage of these golden opportunities in your work and really demonstrate how close and tightly intertwined your main characters are when writing a romantic story. It helps to pain a three dimensional picture. Why are they together? What do they have in common? Why would they stay in love, other than they’re both cute and horny and have an intense attraction for one another? Sometimes...the love you’re writing about doesn’t really have to be about that. I’m not saying that you should avoid those other parts of the equation...just know that your readers will be more invested in those bigger moments if you occasionally focus on the little moments in between.

Give it a try some time! And I hope this helps! K?

Seezya soon, ladies and gentlemen! And happy writing!