1. ✅ Vivid Descriptions: Grey describes how other characters smell quite transparent, I would say. mischievous vanilla That you've been quite graphic lately sure goes without saying. imagination running wild
2. ✅ Dynamic Characters: Yes, there are voices in their heads ^^ But yeah, not only you love your characters. They are quite … human, so to speak. One has to laugh with them as one has to suffer with them. quite bonding
3. 😱 Strong Emotional Resonance: Ahhhhhh.
4. 👀 Visual Storytelling: "I have so much dialog." But do you? I was never aware of that 🤔
5. ⏳ Pacing and Structure: Although, I don't get bored (always as captivating as it is entertaining), I sometimes feel like we could have made some more plot progress if that makes any sense
6. 🤷‍♂️ Use of Dialogs and Internal Monologs: It's probably not a secret when I say, I'm not the biggest fan of your wolf voice, though, I can see their use as a stylistic device
7. ✅ Dramatic Tension and Conflict: In the pack, boy, oh, boy, that's tension. If that isn't, I don't know what is
8. ❓ Imaginative and Dynamic Scenes: Do you think in camera angles, coverage, lighting, etc.?

12 minutes ago, Zuri said:

⏳ Pacing and Structure: Although, I don't get bored (always as captivating as it is entertaining), I sometimes feel like we could have made some more plot progress if that makes any sense

Yeah it does make sense. Over 50,000 words and what has really happened? XD

12 minutes ago, Zuri said:

🤷‍♂️ Use of Dialogs and Internal Monologs: It's probably not a secret when I say, I'm not the biggest fan of your wolf voice, though, I can see their use as a stylistic device

I get it, it is valid criticism. I still am happy I chose it. Certain parts of the story are so much better because the wolf gives feedback. They are two entities as one. It also plays into the fact that the wolf is with someone from birth and why turning someone wolf is so frowned upon.

Sure, this would be stronger if I had the POV of someone turned, like Mark or Dave, but I never said this would be the only story in the universe 😛

14 minutes ago, Zuri said:

✅ Dramatic Tension and Conflict: In the pack, boy, oh, boy, that's tension. If that isn't, I don't know what is

I always feel like I am losing plot and subplot, but that is hopefully just me being a very stern critic of myself. The main plot sometimes feels very weak to me "Big bad does curse, remove curse to solve" and Theodore has no layers to himself.  There will be more layers later but I wasn't able to show them yet.

I feel like the first person POV without head-hopping is limiting, but I fully embrace and have to find other ways around it.

15 minutes ago, Zuri said:

❓ Imaginative and Dynamic Scenes: Do you think in camera angles, coverage, lighting, etc.?

Yup. I think it worked well in Aaru. I'm not cutting between shots, but in my mind I have a camera on my characters—which often is a first person POV from my protagonist. I then use that to write.

Just now, drown said:

Yeah it does make sense. Over 50,000 words and what has really happened? XD

someone got killed (or didn't he?), a sex scene—I'd say, that's not nothing 😉

Just now, drown said:

It also plays into the fact that the wolf is with someone from birth and why turning someone wolf is so frowned upon.

Oh, I absolutely take no issue in that particular aspect—that's a great concept 👍

Just now, drown said:

I never said this would be the only story in the universe 😛

😱

2 minutes ago, drown said:

I feel like the first person POV without head-hopping is limiting, but I fully embrace and have to find other ways around it.

You can't have your cake and eat it 😜

2 minutes ago, drown said:

Yup. I think it worked well in Aaru. I'm not cutting between shots, but in my mind I have a camera on my characters—which often is a first person POV from my protagonist. I then use that to write.

Is Grey a professional DOP, is he just an iPhone filming hobbyist, or more like the GoPro adventure documentary kind of guy?

4 minutes ago, drown said:

The main plot sometimes feels very weak to me "Big bad does curse, remove curse to solve"

I can't really comment on that, since I don't have the full picture, however, as you don't only have a main plot but also subplots, as well as character development and backstory exposition, it's hardly that bad.

4 minutes ago, Zuri said:

14 minutes ago, drown said:

Yup. I think it worked well in Aaru. I'm not cutting between shots, but in my mind I have a camera on my characters—which often is a first person POV from my protagonist. I then use that to write.

Is Grey a professional DOP, is he just an iPhone filming hobbyist, or more like the GoPro adventure documentary kind of guy?

Last chapter for example… I have this picturesque scene where everyone is. The confrontation. Luna kneeling. Maybe it comes through better in the followup chapter the next few days.

And everyone just has an iPhone 😛 

6 minutes ago, Zuri said:

16 minutes ago, drown said:

It also plays into the fact that the wolf is with someone from birth and why turning someone wolf is so frowned upon.

Oh, I absolutely take no issue in that particular aspect—that's a great concept 👍

I come with these things as I go along, and it feels fraudulent at times.

The only part of the world that is planned out in full detail is the Seven Piers of Origination, but that might be because I did the world building on that without even having a story.

Right now I am revising my outline to see if the pacing still matches my original goal. I had 50 chapters planned, then it was 54, then less again. I don't know where I'll end up with.

2 minutes ago, drown said:

The only part of the world that is planned out in full detail is the Seven Piers of Origination, but that might be because I did the world building on that without even having a story.

And that's the one aspect of your world building, you avoid going into specifics 😜

2 minutes ago, drown said:

And everyone just has an iPhone 😛 

spoiled kids 😜

6 minutes ago, drown said:

I have this picturesque scene where everyone is.

"Sebastian, could you please repeat the insult one more time, this time breaking the fourth wall, speaking directly into Grey's camera? Great! And could you step one step back, so that half of your face is in the shadows? Stop, stay this way. Perfect! And action!"

26 minutes ago, drown said:

I never said this would be the only story in the universe 😛

Wait, Mark isn't dead, but just in another story …? 🤯

10 minutes ago, Zuri said:

24 minutes ago, drown said:

The only part of the world that is planned out in full detail is the Seven Piers of Origination, but that might be because I did the world building on that without even having a story.

And that's the one aspect of your world building, you avoid going into specifics 😜

I can't just info dump it! Where would be the anticipation, the wonder?

11 minutes ago, Zuri said:

24 minutes ago, drown said:

I have this picturesque scene where everyone is.

"Sebastian, could you please repeat the insult one more time, this time breaking the fourth wall, speaking directly into Grey's camera? Great! And could you step one step back, so that half of your face is in the shadows? Stop, stay this way. Perfect! And action!"

I didn't break the fourth wall, but Clara did once say, "I believe this narrative requires a clarifying Clara to move things along. Dave, Grey is wolf. Werewolf? I don’t know how that works. Grey, Dave is a… something. He makes things happen. It happened before. And it happened last night. I think this is all tied to this place. You were meant to come here, both of you. And today is a good day."

Grey kinda is already talking to the reader anyway. Benefits of 1st person POV

15 minutes ago, Zuri said:

Wait, Mark isn't dead, but just in another story …? 🤯

I can confirm that the next story is not from Mark's POV.