I sooo feel ya on this one, except I'm allowed to date before January... If he's in to you, you can talk to him about it, and it won't change things. If he's not, then you risk losing the level of Flirt.

If he's into you, and all you two do is flirt really heavily back and forth... You run a chance of being mistaken for less than who you are. I'm not in a position for tossing feedback on what you might be able to do, so I'll try not to.

I can tell ya, that being your potential first date is still 3 months, 2 days, 18 hours, 38 min. (+/- 3 hours) away. He might not wait that long, and definitly not without knowing why.

Bob

Current time(Aug 27th, 2007 at 5:21 am)

Hey Richie

So the guy I really like at work is the most adorable guy ever. He's sweet, funny, really cute, and flirtatious. Oh. man. lol. Lately, he and I have been flirting quite a bit, but I don't want to read too into it because he just seems like a big flirt. (in a cute way though) I haven't seen him flirt the way we do with anyone else so that leaves room for hope, but still, I'd rather not build it up. Still, it's definitely the most fun I've had with a guy that I could potentially date, and I wouldn't change it for anything else. It's exactly the part i like most: the cool beginning part. you know, where everything is new and exciting, and you're constantly feeding off each other and the chemistry is just right. I've never felt this way before, so that's good... I guess i'm not as screwed up as I thought.

Oh my gosh! That sounds so awesome! and you're definitely not screwed up!!

Anyway, today we had a work meeting where we played little games. One of them was to show that we need to work together as a team to overcome an obstacle that seems impossible. We had 10 people in like a 5 foot diameter table cloth, and we had to flip it around without stepping off of it. I was bent over trying to see what I could do by twisting it first and having people step on the other side. Then I got up and almost fell, and a hand went around my waist. I was being hugged, pretty much. I turn around, and yeah.. it was him. I almost died. He placed his whole arm around me, and was just holding me there while people tried to flip it over. It was the best feeling in the world.

Awwwwww

I really couldn't stop smiling because here's the guy I think is so great with his arms around me. at one point i had to turn around and he almost fell so I grabbed him around the waist and held him. it made me realize how much i really like him, since all it took was a small (well not that small) hug to make me tingly all over.

That is really awesome! And I have to say it sounds like your interaction during the game was exactly what the game was focused on trying to create: Teamwork and Trust. What wonderful symbolism for your relationship in general!

i'm really into this guy, but i still don't know where he stands.

If I read the story correctly, just behind you on the tablecloth

eh, either way it doesn't matter. i really need to stick to my pact , so i can't just ask him out since i can't date until next january. My Year-Of-No sounded a lot more doable before I met him.

Hmmm, I definitely don't mean to discourage you from something you want to do, and obviously you'd know far better than anyone else what you need and what the situation is, but if this is something special, I wouldn't let it slip through my fingers without going after it. Perhaps I am mistaken but wasn't the no dating for a year thing supposed to be about clearing your head, being in a better place, and getting out of bad patterns (I am making wild suppositions here, that's just what I'd assumed). If you've done those things, and your time alone has helped you sort things out and appreciate that more then maybe it's already served its purpose.

I am just guessing here and offering my opinion, as I said I'm sure you'll make the best decision.

I can't even express (haha) how much i like him,

and how just being around him makes me happy inside.

Awww, that's great!

God, I'm pathetic.

No, you're not!!

Take care and have an awesome day

Kevin

I sooo feel ya on this one, except I'm allowed to date before January... If he's in to you, you can talk to him about it, and it won't change things. If he's not, then you risk losing the level of Flirt.

Hey! Thanks for your response. I've wanted to just talk to him about it, but I always think about the worst case scenario. We do work together, and it could get very awkward for him as well as me if this is one sided. This kinda keeps me from doing anything right now, since I really like my job and I really like everyone there.

If he's into you, and all you two do is flirt really heavily back and forth... You run a chance of being mistaken for less than who you are. I'm not in a position for tossing feedback on what you might be able to do, so I'll try not to.

You know, I never even thought about it this way, and you're right. Although, I must be clear that when I say we flirt, it's not very sexual at all. Still, I get what you're saying and I'll definitely keep that in mind.

I can tell ya, that being your potential first date is still 3 months, 2 days, 18 hours, 38 min. (+/- 3 hours) away. He might not wait that long, and definitly not without knowing why.

 

Bob

 

Current time(Aug 27th, 2007 at 5:21 am)

Yeah. Idealistically, he would wait if he knew the circumstances, but I'm afraid of that not being too realistic. Thanks again for all your input, and I hope you're doing well!

-Richie

If I read the story correctly, just behind you on the tablecloth

 

Thank you for that.

Hmmm, I definitely don't mean to discourage you from something you want to do, and obviously you'd know far better than anyone else what you need and what the situation is, but if this is something special, I wouldn't let it slip through my fingers without going after it. Perhaps I am mistaken but wasn't the no dating for a year thing supposed to be about clearing your head, being in a better place, and getting out of bad patterns (I am making wild suppositions here, that's just what I'd assumed). If you've done those things, and your time alone has helped you sort things out and appreciate that more then maybe it's already served its purpose.

 

I am just guessing here and offering my opinion, as I said I'm sure you'll make the best decision.

You know, you're completely right. The whole point of this thing was to clear my head and get out of bad patterns, and I do feel like I've accomplished that. There have been advances that I've just completely ignored and people who I didn't think twice about because I really didn't feel what I was supposed to feel. With this guy though, it's different. I really don't want to miss this chance if it could potentially be something amazing. Now I just have to convince the cynic in me that it could happen, and he could actually like me back.

Thanks for your commentary, Kevin! Have a great one.

-Richie

I don't know how or why, but it posted my response twice... weird. See next post for my thoughts.

Good luck

Bob

Well, here's a thought, ask him for a non-date date.

That sounds weird, and it sounds tricky, but its not.

Walk up and say, "Hey, got any plans for dinner? I don't like eating alone, and I don't want to cook tonight. Interested?"

True or not, most people will understand that it probably is true at least a few times in a month.

Depending on what he says, go from there. Try to set it up close to the weekend, that will show his hand.

Responses of "I have a date with (male/female)" will tell you a lot, but pay attention to the facial response.

When he hears/replies does he seem disapointed, scared, excited.

I hope you follow logic rules:

IF when hearing he is EXCITED, THEN he might be interested in you or interested in knowing you more.

IF when hearing he is DEJECTED, THEN he might not be interested or might be in another relationship and might be interested in you

IF when hearing he is SCARED, THEN he might not be interested or might be scared of being outed

IF his response is I HAVE PLANS, THEN it is a polite way of saying NO.

IF his response is I HAVE PLANS-RAINCHECK?, THEN he is saying NO, with a maybe (give him a week to think about it.)

IF his response is I WOULD, BUT..., THEN he is saying no and probably not interested either

IF his response is I HAVE A DATE, THEN SEE EMOTIONAL LOGIC ABOVE (excited, dejected, scared)

IF his response is SURE, THEN two possibilities (interested in you or interested in friendship) See next

IF SURE=Yes, THEN ask what he'd like to eat (making it his decision makes him more comfortable = better oppertunity to discuss mutual interest without overreaction, but not guaranteed)

None of this is guaranteed to work, nor always mean what it means... I'm only a professional friend, and this is the best I can offer right now.

Good luck

Bob

Well, here's a thought, ask him for a non-date date.

 

That sounds weird, and it sounds tricky, but its not.

 

Walk up and say, "Hey, got any plans for dinner? I don't like eating alone, and I don't want to cook tonight. Interested?"

 

True or not, most people will understand that it probably is true at least a few times in a month.

 

Depending on what he says, go from there. Try to set it up close to the weekend, that will show his hand.

 

Responses of "I have a date with (male/female)" will tell you a lot, but pay attention to the facial response.

 

When he hears/replies does he seem disapointed, scared, excited.

 

I hope you follow logic rules:

 

IF when hearing he is EXCITED, THEN he might be interested in you or interested in knowing you more.

IF when hearing he is DEJECTED, THEN he might not be interested or might be in another relationship and might be interested in you

IF when hearing he is SCARED, THEN he might not be interested or might be scared of being outed

 

IF his response is I HAVE PLANS, THEN it is a polite way of saying NO.

IF his response is I HAVE PLANS-RAINCHECK?, THEN he is saying NO, with a maybe (give him a week to think about it.)

IF his response is I WOULD, BUT..., THEN he is saying no and probably not interested either

IF his response is I HAVE A DATE, THEN SEE EMOTIONAL LOGIC ABOVE (excited, dejected, scared)

IF his response is SURE, THEN two possibilities (interested in you or interested in friendship) See next

IF SURE=Yes, THEN ask what he'd like to eat (making it his decision makes him more comfortable = better oppertunity to discuss mutual interest without overreaction, but not guaranteed)

 

None of this is guaranteed to work, nor always mean what it means... I'm only a professional friend, and this is the best I can offer right now.

 

Good luck

Bob

That's interesting, and you're right, this would clear up a lot of things. It might be a little too much for me to handle right now though. I think I might try this once my final is over. Although, for the "Scared" option... I don't think he'd be afraid of being outed. We're both openly gay. As adorable as he is, I don't think anyone would mistake him for being straight. Blind and deaf people would know he's gay.

The other thing is... I don't really know how to cook. Hmm well I guess that could be half the fun, trying to make something together. Good ideas, bob! Thanks for everything!

Hmm well I guess that could be half the fun, trying to make something together.

I think on their most fundamental level all relationships are about trying to make something together

That's interesting, and you're right, this would clear up a lot of things. It might be a little too much for me to handle right now though. I think I might try this once my final is over. Although, for the "Scared" option... I don't think he'd be afraid of being outed. We're both openly gay. As adorable as he is, I don't think anyone would mistake him for being straight. Blind and deaf people would know he's gay.

 

The other thing is... I don't really know how to cook. Hmm well I guess that could be half the fun, trying to make something together. Good ideas, bob! Thanks for everything!

Well shoot... that changes everything... I was left with the impression that you weren't sure if he was gay or not, and mostly just hoping... /shrug... in that case... just ask him if he'd be interested in getting a bite to eat and if he's got any plans... if you're so brave, ask if he's seeing anyone and if he'd "like to hang out, catch a movie or something?"

Lol

Bob