Okay, I tried to make an appointment with my shrink, but he won't be in town the next time I'm home. So, I guess I'll have to monitor the situation and decide what to do when I start heading home.

Actually, I'm kind of surprised I went to the effort of making the appointment, but I was going to do this entry and realized it would look kind of silly to say I was going to try. It looks a whole lot better to say I tried, but failed.

I'm putting off leaving as I have to drive through Cleveland, not my favorite city, what with Dead Man's Curve on the other side, one of the few places in the entire interstate system where an interstate highway makes a ninety degree turn.

In my putting off, I wrote the third section of Chapter 16. It was probably one of the darkest pieces I've written in a long time. It is quite bloody and someone dies, but there is a bit of humor in there, too. I tried for a GOTCHA! and hope it comes across.

Kind of leading up to it was a dream I had last night that involved a murderer who might have been stalking me. I say might because he was definitely shooting other people around me, but seemed to ignore my presence. It was almost as if he was putting my death off until the last moment.

The past few days, well, since Wyoming when I came across the Sand Creek Massacre Trail sign and looked it up in Wiki, I've been thinking a lot about death. Then I did a little research on the Sand Creek Massacre, like Wounded Knee and Mi Lai one of our military's less reknowned moments. It's kind of numbing what a few guns and bullets can do to old men, women, children, and babies. And, yes, a few of the soldiers died, but it seems a lot of their wounds were from friendly fire. Get in the way of a bullet and it doesn't care what uniform you're wearing.

In a short discussion with myself yesterday, I figured out these entries were acting as a sort of mental lift to the day ahead. So, I guess you going to have to put up with me for a while longer, or at least until I can talk to my shrink about changing my meds as I am definitely bouncing between happy and sad. This can't go on. Either I change my med dosage or I end up on the side of the highway somewhere.