Abstinence

[LongGone]

I'm still a virgin, but I'm not opposed to people having sex. The right opportunity has never presented itself to me, but I know if I had and regretted it... I would just feel dumb. There is no reason to regret something you have done...Just live with it and move on. Otherwise you'll be regretting and hating it for a long time.

Right. You've got the idea. I could go on, but it's sound like I was picking a fight with a lot of people (and I would be). So I'll shut up. It's nice to see a few people still have their heads screwed on straight.

[Sir Galahad]

I think it's down to the individual if they are ready for or want sex. Everyone here will agree that you will definatly know when the time is right, there is no point in forcing it only to regret it later.

I happen to have sex because I enjoy it, simple as that. I've had a lot of one night stands. Why? In part because I have a very high sex drive, & simply, because I could. I liken it to being in a candy store, so many to choose from, but only a limited time to do it in. That may sound flippant & people may be horrified if I told them how many guys there have been. Even now I still believe I have a few flavours of ice cream to go through, as I've gone through the candy jars on the shelves already!

If people don't like my choices, quite frankly I don't give a shit.

[LongGone]

simply, because I could.

I could kill people. I choose not to. It is seldom a productive pursuit. It certainly would feel good to rid the world of people I dislike, but I can't just do the things I want because I want to, feel like it, or it makes me feel good.

 

I liken it to being in a candy store, so many to choose from, but only a limited time to do it in.

I love candy. If I ate all the candy I had access to, I'd be a fat pig. Just because you want something and can have it, doesn't follow that you should. (In this case, it's certainly your choice. I'm just saying your logic is faulty.)

 

That may sound flippant & people may be horrified if I told them how many guys there have been.

And you're proud of this?

 

If people don't like my choices, quite frankly I don't give a shit.

At least we agree on one thing.

[Lugnutz]

I'm still waiting for "The one" to show himself. I know I am not the only one that hasn't had relations with anyone and if you're the person who is like a doorknob; everyone takes a turn, that's your business. I would rather wait for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right now. It's been a few decades already and I'm not in any hurry to do anything. Whatever happens, will.

 

BTW, I can't vote because the "Never got laid" tag Isn't there.

Edited March 31, 2009 by Lugnutz

[Duncan Ryder]

Maybe if my (admittedly extremely limited) experiences before my partner had been good, or fun, or even not an absolute disaster, I would have answered no.

 

But I answered yes because frankly they were a disaster, leaving me feeling guilty and sad and hurt and totally screwed up emotionally and ready to take a vow of celebacy...

 

But two kind of interesting things.

 

First, I remember sometimes feeling very sad that I wasn't HIS first, at least in some small way, because in every way that mattered he was mine....and I wanted to somehow be able to give him what he had given me. And even then I knew that was really dumb because it was precisely because he was so much more experienced that he was able to get me past all the issues and make it all wonderful...

 

Second, my friends were pretty scandalized when I moved in with him because they thought I was way too young and inexperienced and "one day you'll wake up and wonder what it was like with someone else". They were right...and wrong. Yeah, some days I wonder. Of course I do. But never enough to want to find out.

 

!

[Sir Galahad]

I could kill people. I choose not to. It is seldom a productive pursuit. It certainly would feel good to rid the world of people I dislike, but I can't just do the things I want because I want to, feel like it, or it makes me feel good.

Thing is I'm not talking about killing anyone, or breaking any law. It's sex & I enjoy it. If I choose to do it, I do it. If I don't, I won't. Simple.

 

I love candy. If I ate all the candy I had access to, I'd be a fat pig. Just because you want something and can have it, doesn't follow that you should. (In this case, it's certainly your choice. I'm just saying your logic is faulty.)

Why is it faulty? You get one shot at life, I intend to enjoy every second of it. Am I hurting anyone. No. Am I having fun, hell yes. Besides, I think your more than likely to loose weight this way than gain it. Just look at it as an extra workout!

 

And you're proud of this?

If your asking me if I'm ashamed of anything I've done, then no.

 

At least we agree on one thing.

Yay, common ground

 

 

I know I am not the only one that hasn't had relations with anyone and if you're the person who is like a doorknob; everyone takes a turn, that's your business.

I don't mind constructive criticism, but that was downright rude & insulting. BTW. Maybe you should get laid!

[LongGone]

if you're the person who is like a doorknob; everyone takes a turn, that's your business. I would rather wait for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right now.

The doorknob: that was FUNNY

 

And as for Mr. Right vs Right Now, you're spot on.

[Lugnutz]

I don't mind constructive criticism, but that was downright rude & insulting. BTW. Maybe you should get laid!

 

That comment wasn't targeted to anyone in particular. If you like alot of one nighters, that's your business.

 

As for getting laid, I could give a $hit less about that. I'd rather have a emotional connection than some quickie in the bar bathroom..............

[Sir Galahad]

As for getting laid, I could give a $hit less about that. I'd rather have a emotional connection than some quickie in the bar bathroom..............

I have to say that's one place I have never done it. That's a little too far out there for my tastes

[AFriendlyFace]

I'm still a virgin, but I'm not opposed to people having sex. The right opportunity has never presented itself to me, but I know if I had and regretted it... I would just feel dumb. There is no reason to regret something you have done...Just live with it and move on. Otherwise you'll be regretting and hating it for a long time.

That's very well said and sensible IMO

 

I think it's down to the individual if they are ready for or want sex. Everyone here will agree that you will definatly know when the time is right, there is no point in forcing it only to regret it later.

I happen to have sex because I enjoy it, simple as that. I've had a lot of one night stands. Why? In part because I have a very high sex drive, & simply, because I could. I liken it to being in a candy store, so many to choose from, but only a limited time to do it in. That may sound flippant & people may be horrified if I told them how many guys there have been. Even now I still believe I have a few flavours of ice cream to go through, as I've gone through the candy jars on the shelves already!

If people don't like my choices, quite frankly I don't give a shit.

Well said! I completely agree!

 

I could kill people. I choose not to. It is seldom a productive pursuit. It certainly would feel good to rid the world of people I dislike, but I can't just do the things I want because I want to, feel like it, or it makes me feel good.

 

 

I love candy. If I ate all the candy I had access to, I'd be a fat pig. Just because you want something and can have it, doesn't follow that you should. (In this case, it's certainly your choice. I'm just saying your logic is faulty.)

 

 

And you're proud of this?

 

 

At least we agree on one thing.

Clearly you're not the sort of person who is cut out for casual sex, and that's fine, but I don't think that means that Galahad and his myriad of past sexual partners made the wrong decision. It may very well have been the right decision for them to make.

 

I'm no Sunday school teacher myself, in fact if you want the blunt truth I had a lot of fun with a guy just last night. I will say that I don't regret any of my sexual experiences. In fact I've found them to be wholely positive experiences physically, mentally, and spiritually. I don't engage in risky sexual behaviours, I don't carry a lot of baggage around, and I don't have sex with people who aren't ready and comfortable doing it. I generally try to make sure it's a mutually positive experience and to the best of my knowledge so far it always has been (it certainly has been on my part). I personally think that comparing the pleasure one receives and gives from a positive sexual experience to something equating homicide is more than a little perplexing. One size and one way most certainly does not fit all, and I certainly wouldn't dream of advising other people to have casual sex if they clearly aren't cut out for it nor would it occur to me to criticise them for their decision. I do wonder why other people don't return that simple and kind favour.

 

Maybe if my (admittedly extremely limited) experiences before my partner had been good, or fun, or even not an absolute disaster, I would have answered no.

 

But I answered yes because frankly they were a disaster, leaving me feeling guilty and sad and hurt and totally screwed up emotionally and ready to take a vow of celebacy...

 

But two kind of interesting things.

 

First, I remember sometimes feeling very sad that I wasn't HIS first, at least in some small way, because in every way that mattered he was mine....and I wanted to somehow be able to give him what he had given me. And even then I knew that was really dumb because it was precisely because he was so much more experienced that he was able to get me past all the issues and make it all wonderful...

 

Second, my friends were pretty scandalized when I moved in with him because they thought I was way too young and inexperienced and "one day you'll wake up and wonder what it was like with someone else". They were right...and wrong. Yeah, some days I wonder. Of course I do. But never enough to want to find out.

 

!

A very thought-provoking and romantic post!

 

I certainly plan to settle down and live monogamously with one special guy someday. That doesn't mean I'm going to regret my past or miss chances to spread and receive happiness and pleasure now. I have every confidence that I'll be more than able to be faithful, romantic, and generally quite attentive to a future partner. I'm also quite confident in my sexual prowess, and my ability to relate on an emotional, intimate level, which as Duncan indicated is in fact a function of my experiences.

 

If the guy I'm with can't accept my past and cherish our present and future, and if I can't similarly respond in kind, then clearly it was not meant to be anyway. I don't care where my fellow has been, I don't care if he's been with a hundred guys or if I'm his first, all that matters to me is that he is healthy and well-adjusted as well as committed and focused on us once we get together. If he's a virgin, more power to him; if he sampled every flavour of ice cream before he settled on my cone, well that's just fine too.

 

 

Just my thoughts of course

-Kevin