[Skylights] Efiction Revies for Jeremy's Redemption

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Reviews For Jeremy's Redemption

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Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: adamo

 

I really hope you continue. I am so curious as to what will happen, what can happen regarding Jeremy's and Kyle's friendship.

Date: 07/24/2010 07:06 PM [Respond]

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: Clovis

 

It reads easily, I relate to Jeremy's mind-set. His acceptance of

Kyle and Ryan's relationship which is well described.... but I'm left

wondering what it's all about..... It's a 'static' piece, despite the

changes in location. why did you write it? I'm not trying to be rude...

It makes me think of a painting of a group portrait in whuch we are

aware of the characters, but they're frozen in time.... Just as Jeremy

is transfixed by an inertia he can't overcome.... Interesting to see

where it goes.Author's Response: Yes. I see what you mean

about staticity. You haven't read sparkling combustion so perhaps that's

why it leaves you with a 'what's it all about'. I suppose I wrote it

this way to transition from one story to another. You aren't trying to

be rude but calling something static isn't exactly the epitome of

kindness, although you did refrain from saying it was rubbish at least

no direction was taken in this chapter. things were set up so that

future motives/ideas/steps forward are at more ease. I also wrote it to

familiarize the reader with the characters and vague happenings of the

previous story. While I could have done this gradually, the story is

less about those things, more about how those things affected Jeremy and

where this will lead him in the future.

I liked your reveiw:) it was illuminating.

Date: 04/19/2010 05:15 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: Nanmander

 

Yay! Jeremy's my favorite character...At least, the one I can

relate to the most (or maybe that's just wishful thinking). And he's

probably the most complex character from Sparkling Combustion, too. I'm

excited.Author's Response: He's mine too.

Date: 04/12/2010 07:57 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: acht-acht

 

Good start - I´m glad you didn´t forget Jeremy after you

finished Sparkling Combustion! I really want something good to happen to

him during his last years in foster care to make him felt wanted and

cared for ... and find him a hot boyfriend!

ClaraAuthor's Response: Haha, nice. A hot boyfriend is always welcome, of course.

 

Sweet thoughts but you'll have to wait and see.

Date: 04/11/2010 12:24 PM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: Caedus

 

Yes! I'm so glad your deciding to write about Jeremy's story! I'm a

little surprised because I thought you were going to wait until after

LSL to release this, so you have really made my day .SC dealt

with all of Kyle's drama and angst with Ryan, but that story made me

very curious about how things would appear from Jeremy's very unique

perspective. You hinted a bit in SC how messed up Jeremy is and how he

seems to wear a "mask" around everyone, which is something I can relate

to. Anyways I really enjoyed the first chapter, it was different but

really interesting being inside Jeremy's head. I liked how you wrote

about him feeling "disconnected" by people he's supposed to be close to.

Is that due to introversion or some of his problems?. I can't wait till

you expose more of the "real" Jeremy, and some of the darkness that's

in him.Author's Response: I was always planning on it. I'd

begun it while SC wasn't finished yet. And to be honest, I WAS going to

wait till LSL was done...but I figured I might release the first

chapter. The second may take some time, or it may not.

 

As for his "disconnectedness", do you THINK Jeremy's introverted? I

mean, C'mon...I think it was made pretty clear in this chapter

Date: 04/11/2010 10:51 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: Wyndham

 

Nice to get back to the story. Good job

Date: 04/11/2010 06:26 AM [Respond]

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: Nephylim

 

I like Jeremy. I like him a lot. He's so screwed up. You've

painted all the charcters so vividly I am loving this story and I want

to know more about all of them which is never a bad thing eh?

Date: 04/11/2010 06:20 AM [Respond]

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: doesnt know jack

 

Okay, first off-yay!! I thought the way SC ended didn't do

jusstice to Jeremy and now I know why! Secondly, I'm writing this more

as a response to your plea from Loving Sam Lynch because I really don't

know what to say about that story. Thirdly, I have to say that I LOVE

your writing. I'm not really sure how to constructively put it, but

your stories are full. They draw you in and wrap themselve

around your mind; they have characterization and plot; and, most

importantly show, not tell and I've really enjoyed reading them.

But this one. This one takes the cake.

Off the bat, and not really knowing where you're going with it (it

probably is still too early to tell). I would say one of the resons I

like this story so much has to do with the fact that there seems to be a

little more meat to the plot-or, to put it more eleoquently, more depth

to the plot. I think that's why I really don't have that much to say

about Loving Sam Lynch...it feels like I'm just watching the lives of

these people, rather than being wrapped up in a story. It's a sublte

differnce and kind of hard to articulate. It's llike in both Loving Sam

Lynch and Sparkling Combustion to an extent, all the elements of a

great story are there and I enjoy reading them, but the conflict of the

characters at times just didn't seem large enough for a story. (Does

that in any way make sense?) It's not really a critique about your

writing, I think it says more about what I like to read. If anything,

it serves as a platform for me to be really excited about this story.

What can I say, apparently I like angst. :-)

Anyway, it's tough for me to write a good enough review this early

on, but I just wanted to say that, at least for the first chapeter, this

story is why I'm glad I found your writing in the first place.

Thanks! And I can't wait to see where this goes!

(Also, I'm really sorry about the spelling mistakes...for some reason

firefox decided to stop spell checking and won't alloww me to copy the

text so I can check it in word. I always knew my lack of spelling

skills would be the death of me....)Author's Response:

Thanks for the long review! It was very illuminating and helpful Even

if you don't have anything to say about the story, it's nice just to

know someone read it with a simple 'I read it, thanks.'

 

, I know its better than the last two because it's the most recently

written compared to the others. If you've noticed all three stories,

while tackling the same themes, sound different. With SC, It was all

about Kyle's inner trauma. With LSL it's about the struggle between Max

and Sam's relationship with one another. While I tried to focus on the

characters a little, It began as a short story and I think the plot is

stressed upon and themes are only alluded to. While writing this, I

really tried to BECOME Jeremy and show the world as he would see it. And

it is not so much about the relationships I've created, though that is

important too. It is more about Jeremy's path to...whatever. That's why

it's drama and not romance.

 

And yes it does show what you like to read: Severe angst. Haha. And I

seem to be throwing angst out there. Perhaps it's because I'm so full of

it myself. I tried writing a happy story...I really really did...

 

What spelling mistakes? Hmm?

Date: 04/11/2010 03:43 AM

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 1--Changes Reviewer: mcnc1966

 

Hooray! I get the story's review cherry! LOL Looks like we have

another trip into the SC universe to look forward to. I've always been

intrigued by Jeremy and am glad to be getting to know him better! As

always, your work was wonderful.

Date: 04/10/2010 10:16 PM [Respond]

 

 

 

 

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