Renee Stevens

Thank you for the review Carlos! I prefer my readers to be honest with me. If there's a part of the story you have a hard time with, I like to know why, providing it's done constructively, which you've done. I can certainly understand where you are coming from regarding the characterization. I have many stories where the guys are a lot more "macho" for lack of a better word, but that honestly did not seem to fit this story since much of "Line of Sight" revolves around Jake. In the majority of chapters, Jake plays a major part. The other aspect (and partly the same I suppose), which I take into consideration is that Brad is primarily around Jake, so even when he's around just Tony, it's hard to just shut the mindset off of how he acts around his son. The same goes for Tony being around kids all day in his profession. Neither of them spend a whole lot of time with adults, their primary interactions are with kids which requires a different touch. (I hope that all makes sense). With all of that being said, the fact that despite your issues with the characterization I've managed to keep you reading is a major compliment, so thank you. Not just for the compliment but for your honesty regarding what doesn't work for you .

Thanks for the review LadyDe! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I definitely can understand not wanting it to end. Unfortunately, working with ONLY first line prompts is rather difficult as not all of them work with the story and those that do, may not work with the chapter I'm currently on. It is a challenge, and while it has been a challenge I enjoy, I find myself struggling to make first line prompts work. Most likely, this will not be the end for these characters. I'm not sure when, but I am considering a second story with them so chances are that even when this story ends, this won't be the last you see of Jake, Brad, Tony, Jamie, & Paul.

Thanks for the review ColumbusGuy! There will be another chapter soon. As for the story ending soon, it is sometimes rather difficult to find a first line prompt that I can work into the story. That in part is why it will be ending in the next few chapters. I'm not saying that this is the end for these characters though. It may not be right away, but I'm considering doing a second story with them either using a different type of prompt (such as the word lists) or something else. Whatever I decide to do, it will most likely be done in flash chapters similar to how this one was done, which will hopefully allow me to update once or twice a week.

Yes she does, it always amazes me how many divorced parents talk to their kids about the other parent, and a lot of times it's like they're questioning them. That was so not the feel I wanted with Jamie and Brad. It will be interesting to see what happens after the playdough ice cream, lol... Thanks for the review!

Thanks for the review ColumbusGuy! I'm glad that you're enjoying it. When I first started this story, I wanted a way to play a bit with the first line prompts, but didn't want to get into another major writing project. I was calling it my Saturday Shorts, a story with flash length chapters, hence the short chapters. Keeping it to around 1,000 words didn't seem as daunting as trying to write a full length chapter and I figured I'd be able to update it more often. It did get put on hold for a while due to some family issues, but I'm back to working on it amidst my other projects.

I'm glad you enjoyed it Valkyrie! I'll always finish something if I post, just sometimes it may take a while. And yes, playdough ice cream (imo) is very nasty, but my niece seems to like it. Thanks for the review!

I'm glad you're glad, but now that life is settling down, I'm hoping to be able to post more often. And yes, playdough ice cream does exist and in my opinion it is some nasty stuff. Though, many kids seem to like it. I believe regular playdough (the kind kids play with) is non-toxic. I would think it would have to be with all the little ones that play with it. I don't think I had much for playdough growing up and what I did have didn't last very long before it got thrown out. Thanks for the review!

I agree that playdough ice cream is disgusting. I remember a long time ago when it first came out, my mom bought a gallon tub of it and refused to buy anymore until we ate it. If I remember right, she finally caved, because Dad wanted ice cream and that's all we had.

Glad you are enjoying it Robert. I never post anything unless I plan to finish it. It just sometimes may take awhile when life gets in the way. Thanks for reading!

Hope everyone has had a great week so far and is looking forward to the weekend. What better way to start it off than with brand new prompts! If you've been feeling stuck, or maybe just want to do something a little different, maybe one of these prompts will jumpstart a new idea. Don't forget, if under 1,000 words, prompt responses that are posted in GA Stories must be posted as part of a collection. Prompt 368 – Creative Tag – First Line “You’ll get it back over my dead body!” Prompt 369 – Creative Tag – The Bully You finally were given the position you have longed for and gone to school for. It has taken you years to realize the nay sayers and people who said you weren’t worth it were wrong. Now as you finally set into the place you want to be your past also rears its head. Your first job applicant to work under you is a name very familiar to you. In fact, it was the bully who made your life a living hell through your school years. Now, their future is in your hands. Are you able to forget the past or is the bully about to get a taste of their own medicine? Normally I'd share the previous prompt response right now, but I'll get to that in a minute. This week we also have the next Poetry Prompt to share! Poetry Prompt #3 Write two stanzas of lyrics. Follow the 8-syllable/6-syllable pattern as you go. Base it on the first emotions you remember having when you woke up this morning. This is practice, so it is up to you if you wish to incorporate rhymes, and feel free to make the poem humorous if you like. For more information on this poetry prompt, visit the thread! This week I decided to feature a couple of the previous Poetry Prompt Responses, one set by Aditus and the other by Dolores Esteban: If you want to leave Aditus a review, you can leave it here. If you want to leave Dolores a review, you can leave it here.

I definitely understand where you're coming from. It's not going to be easy on any of them. Trey will have the rest of his unit, but none of them will know exactly what he is going through. He'll be going through slightly more than what they are.

I don't think anyone wanted Trey to leave. I wouldn't want to be in any of their shoes right now. Mark not only has Trey's leaving, but his mom just died. Trey's parents have to not only see their son off, but try and support Mark through whatever happens at his mom's funeral, and then there's Trey. Not only is he leaving, but he's leaving when Mark needs him most. Nope, i don't wanna be any of em.

Thank you Robert! I always worry about getting the emotions right. It's not easy for any of them, at least Mark and Trey's parents will have each other, but poor Trey will be by himself.

Yes it was. That is one advantage to modern days, it's much easier to keep in touch when loved ones are deployed versus back in the day.

LOL. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story up to here and I hope you keep enjoying it! Thank you!!

Nope, you're not allowed to go away! It will be interesting and I'm definitely not looking forward to writing it!

Yep, one final chance of being together. I really wanted to make sure I got the emotions right, so strong that there was no doubt as to the strength of their feelings for one another. Thank you for your review Yettie!!!

He's definitely having a hard time of it. Having Trey's parents be there for him when he's been cut off from his own for so long can't be easy, it's bound to bring up some emotions. Luckily, for now, he has Trey there with him. As far as the Chinese....

You know me, I have to throw in the unexpected from time to time. Mark is doing his best to assure Trey that he is fine, but it kind of sounds like a case of protesting too much". Thanks for the review!!!

I definitely know what you mean. I can remember everything from when I found out my brother had died. I can look back now and just remember everything, from getting in our neighbors car (not knowing anything yet) and my other brother getting in the backseat with me, to driving to my Grandma's and my mom showing up there. I even remember us going to the hospital to say our good-byes. It was horrible, but I had my family surrounding me and they shared in my hurt and pain. Mark will need Trey, but Trey won't be able to be there. Add in seeing his father... The question is going to be how he handles it.

You didn't think I'd make it easy on them, did you? I'd given some thought to waiting for the extra drama until after Trey left, but then decided to go ahead and at least let Trey be there to give Mark comfort in the beginning. Can you imagine if Trey had already been gone and hadn't found out about Mark's mom for a few days? That would have just been so so evil of me... Thanks for the review hon!

Mark couldn’t believe it. His sister had just outed him to their father. He jerked his gaze to his dad and wasn’t surprised to see him scowling, his face flushed and his jaw tight. Before he could say anything, Mark’s phone started ringing in his pocket. Shit. He’d been so preoccupied he’d forgotten to call Trey and let him know they’d made it. He couldn’t answer, not now. Mark slipped his hand in his pocket and silenced his phone, sending the call to voicemail as he faced off against his

Thanks for the review Yettie! I guess the only thing I can say about Mark's reaction is that he was trying to let things roll off, but I think we've all been in a situation where we have to remove ourselves from a situation before we say something that we can't take back. Trey's comment pushed Mark to the point where he needed to get away before Trey said something else that would make him say something like that. Like you though, I'm glad they stopped and talked it out.

I'm glad you are enjoying it Yettie! You're right, good-byes aren't easy. I can understand why you might feel slightly more for Trey with all of this, he has to keep saying good-bye to different people. It's not like with Mark, or even Gary and Diane. They all have to say good-bye to one person, albeit a loved one, but Trey has to say it to one after another. Thanks for the review!!!

I think you have a point there. In fact, I know a few people who would just expect people to drop whatever they're doing to help them. I can understand their hesitance, especially with the distance, but Mark wouldn't have offered if he minded. I do agree with you a bit on Trey giving them more of his time, but I could also see him cutting his time short if Mark hadn't come with him. At least Mark is trying to give Trey some alone time with his parents. And all I can say to your last part is