Sendraguy

Michael's not looking forward to Saturday, and helping his mother out on her charity stall. But he's wrong; he's about to get an early Christmas present and the best one ever!

Market Forces: Part 1 Youknow that feeling; when you wish the earth would swallow you up? But today, the earth’s icy cold and hard; and there’s no chance of me getting swallowed. So I turn, awkwardly, face away from the street, and look blankly at the tarpaulin that shrouds our market stall. A few seconds later, and I can breathe again; the girls have passed by! Then three elderly women approach. One has the words, ‘Has this quince and lime conserve been sourced locally?’ My moth

I'm really into this now. Your style is eclectic, Tolkien to True Blood, and the world building works. The effort you go to to develop your characters is surely worth it. I just want to make a few points about language. Many years ago, when I was a kid I watched Sir Walter Scot's tale of courtly love 'Ivanhoe' starring Robert Taylor. At one point the knight is approached by a minnion who says, 'forsooth, my Lord, what's afoot?' Twelve f**kin' inches! we used to laugh. Now I realise that that wild Hollywood dialogue approximating what C13th England speech was seems now a bit of a laugh. Ironically, if you've seen the BBC's 'Merlin' it uses regular standard English as used on the streets on Britain right now. No-one seems to mind; and not a 'prithee' in sight! I think what matters is to stay consistent with the language you use. I didn't mind 'barmy', in fact I found it quaintly English ( that's a plus!) and I'm all for Kian and Dylan swearing like troopers! I had to ask my partner the other day what a 'mason jar' is ( he's American so he knew!! :-) The thing is, it's your created world so you can have them speaking anyway you like ( the rabbit put me in mind of Johnny Depp) and characters could even have different styles. Now that would make your readers pay attention! LOL . Great work, and highly entertaining! Dave

Damo, I'm indebted as ever. And I can't challenge your word re-ordering, which is so impressively better that, should this weedly little romp ever see light of day again I'd make the changes. Laziness prevented me from describing Gash fully ( well, who wants to describe Gash, come on!) but I'm on record for noting that, in the UK at least, gay business treats its customers very shabbily, and foists on them standards that wouldn't be tolerated by hets. ( cf. my club 'Spurtz' in the Kris Karton tale) Chatting to Rigby the other day we reflected on the problems of finding a plot open up rather than close down as it proceeds. It kind of flatters the imagination, but sometimes you just gotta be disciplined and say, this is the plan, it stands. I couldn't resist painting the locals of my native city as violent, moronic, homophobic thugs. Not totally true, but as I reserve the right to believe the world's default setting is anti-gay, I keep my powder dry on this one. Glen, how will he do? OK, he's my favourite character, and the only one who gets to use the language I do. But he presents me with problems. Do I keep the tale moral for the spunkies, or do I make it realistic? Alma: she's been around for years. Why act this way or that? But some people are capable of playing a long, long 'long game' and I've known guys who've waited 30 years to get even. Doesn't fit my 50,000 words canvas, but that's life. Uh oh, I'm rabbiting now..... Thanks as ever. The re-sentencing was fab. I have no excuse for not seeing it, considering I re-edit min 6-7 times...... oooer! Davie

Hi Benji, Thanks for sticking with Marc Jesmond, God knows how it must come across to Americans!! ( my partner is American but won't help me with the cutural crossovers :-))) You'll know by now that Cunningham the ex-police superintendant did the coshing, but you're very astute to have remembered Jim Appleby...... Regards Davie

If you've made it through Ch 2, the rest gets easier, cos you meet Colin and Rupert and they are much more fun. Btw, for the benefit of non-UK readers, the references to 'big houses' and the posh folk are not idle. In the northern part of the country, there are literally thousands of such houses, and the rich and very rich are a real presence in daily life. I'm pleased you like Roy, D .. He's the genial, smiling face of Yorkshire!

Your critical powers are impressive and I'm indebted to your perseverence. Now it's time for me to MAN UP! This chapter 1 started life as a one off about an old, dysfunctional guy living with ancient parents. Magazines ran screaming from it LOL, but I didn't want to lose the material, so I switched it around. BAD MOVE, you'll always get caught out. If I re-read the whole thing and think it's worth it I'll do a re-write, but my objects of attack and bitter humour aren't shared by eveyone, as I now know. You are smart enough to see where I'm going, but for others here it is, I hate meanness ( US = cheap) and in the UK, the residents of Yorkshire are famous for holding on to their money I hate old people shafting the young. The Malcolm story has the kids coming out ahead. This isn't a stunt. I can't stand aristocracy. My characters here are simple, and silly stereotypes, but the real thing still exists in the UK, trust me. Love the food references, btw. Dave

A lot of young gay men are let down by family/mentors at the very time they need support most. A guy like Glen, who at, say 22-4 seems to be sorted, looks like a role model. Of course it's important to know how come. Older gay men can become bitter about the younger ones for the obvious reasons ie. a) they're jealous they can't have them c) if/when they do they have to pay ( one way or another) .....but the big one, as I see it, is that young guys have it all in front of them, to get their futures right, or f**k it up. And to older guys who've made a mess of it, that's hard to take. How's this different to any strand of society? Well, we're back to my mantra. Gay men could have it all, and to people who've thrown their chances away, nothing's so irksome as those who have it all still before them. Right! that should get them talking, except nobody writes to me, however provocative I am ( sighs)

Glen gets into real trouble in Ch 13, but as usual he wriggles out of it. He always lands on his feet and finds a bed for the night. But does he deserve it? Is it better that smart guys like him survive, or can we do without them?

Just read an article here in the UK stating that 89% of male students at the University of Bath claimed they would/do kiss male friends on the lips as token of friendship. I'd expect uni students to be liberal in outlook, but I'm not sure that attitude travels further than the campus. There's loads of man on man hugging and kissing on TV right now, but I reckon that the streets of Britain wouldn't be a safe place to try that out.