Flipper

The fisheye vid genuinely made me want not to suck, but to vomit - I'm still queasy two hours later! Yeah, in the middle and as deep down as you can go should be the least vomit-making part of the ship. Plus if things get real bad and it flips a la Poseidon Adventure then you're well set to dig your way out via the prop tunnel - provided you've got the magnificent Shelly Winters and The Goat with you! Brings back fond memories of under-age drinking at a cider pub with a school mate where the only brews on offer were "Scrumpy Jack", "Strong" and "Rough" (half a pint of the latter was good to strip all the lining from your mouth!)

Trev's fishfood. The only way he's gonna come back from this one is if The Goat pulls off a "Bobby's dream in the shower" trick (that's an age giveaway heh heh). Why's he dead? Cos: 1/ the physiology for freediving records don't apply - reflex bradycardia, vasoconstriction, blood shift etc (ooooh, big words!) - due to Trev's lack of training, experience and preparation (lots of deep breaths) and panicked thrashings as he sinks to his doom. 2/ he's already been under water nearly 2 minutes 3/ he's 90' down and sinking, exhausted and cramped 4/ he's still got to free the weight belt - more seconds + depth 5/ he's still got to untie the ropes now stiff + swollen (the only thing that is!) from water immersion 6/ his hands are now cold + stiff too, and difficult to move 7/ he's in pitch black and won't know his up from down when he tries to kick for the surface Trev's a dead parrott .. er ex-yachtsman, he is no more, he's gorn to meet his maker, he's a stiffie.

You've made a lifelong landlubber want to be on the ocean wave with Trev, enjoying this gripping voyage and seeing the sights that you've so effectively depicted with your evocative descriptions and photos. My only disappointment in this otherwise thoroughly enjoyable story is that the evil Bridget doesn't have a white cat sitting on her lap for her to fondle whilst hatching her devilish plans with the nefarious George. Thanks CJ for all your efforts, painstaking research and hard work to provide your fans reliably with weekly instalments of this gripping adventure. As I'm sure you know this is in the established tradition of earlier writers (Dickens, Doyle) and, interestingly, current mainstream writers like McCall Smith are doing likewise.

In the words of Jim Morrison "This is the end" (maybe) or, if you prefer Porky Pig, "That's all folks!" But you can't end on a cliffhanger!!! Well why not? If you've seen The Italian Job (the original - not the crappy American remake!) you'll remember the end of the film with the escape bus teetering on the edge of the mountain, the gold sliding out of reach and Michael Caine confidently telling the gang "hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea ... er, ... er" I hope Jordan does carry on this great story, but "Mom" is an amusing ending if he's done a runner. Maybe he's taken up knitting instead.