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ryan jo

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Blog Entries posted by ryan jo

  1. ryan jo

    Not my week

    By ryan jo,

    Just a horrid week in general.
     
    Got called a slutty distracting whore at work, due to my super short shorts. Lost my freaking phone that has information.... I don't even want to get in on what I have on there.
     
    I honestly don't know what's next. If I'm lucky they'll find the person who stole my phone, most likely won't.
     
    Oh, my niece decided to puke all over my new Marc Jacobs sweater. Lovely, right?
     
    Give me triple shot of Vodka. NOW!
     
    R.I.P Ryan's iPhone
  2. ryan jo

    Give me the strength

    By ryan jo,

    I feel like strangling everyone at work! It's like why must you be so incompetent!?!??!!!!
     
    Give me the strength to not want to scream at everyone!
     
    Every email, every phone call, GAH! GAH GAH GAH GAH!!!!!!
     
    One email writes:
     
    "Ryan,
     
    Need to reshoot for the spread for *censored* magazine. Can you be there by 6:30 am? Photographer is leaving by next week for Paris."
     
    GAH! GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH!
     
    That's all I can rant about! GAH!
  3. ryan jo

    Family secrets

    By ryan jo,

    My sister is pregnant. It's that simple, but my parents won't tell me. I think they want to keep it a secret because she's still not out of the clear from a cancer scare. (She's about 7 weeks now)
     
    Our friend from California confirmed to me that there is a bun in the oven, but I knew. Everyone in the damn house is just too cautious around me. The hints are all there. She's a smoker, all of a sudden she stopped. I offered her tequila, she refuses. They know that I know... just pretending that I don't know.
     
    The reason I'm up at 5:30 besides my jog? My sister knocks on my door and asks me to make her chicken Alfredo. She's just so needy. Everything is, "Ryan remember that bread you bought? Buy it for me." Or "Ry, can you make me some cookies?" The best is a phone call from yesterday.
     
    At the City looking at some stuff.
    -phone rings-
     
    Me: What do you want?
    Sister: Where are you?
    Me: City, looking at some stuff. Why?
    Sister: I was just hungry. How do you feel about chicken curry?
    Me: Um... it's ok. I'm not cooking again, you need to learn to cook. Ask dad or something.
    Sister: I like the way you make it better-
    Me: NO!
    Sister: Bitch! Don't ever ask me for anything again!
     
    Like I ever ask her for anything. I get home and sure enough the lazy sister is watching my dad make her the chicken curry.
     
    Dinner table
     
    Sister: Get me that bottle of vitamins on my vanity.
    I get up and go to her room.
    Me: Why do you have pre-natal vitamins? Are you pregnant? (I'm trying to get her to confess.)
    Sister: Um... I... Um... Someone told me that if you take these it will make your boobs bigger. -nods head furiously-
    Me: You're an idiot. I don't know why they let you pass the NCLEX.
    Sister: Go to the corner and sell yourself.
     
    This is just the beginning.
  4. ryan jo

    No idea

    By ryan jo,

    I wake up in tears and I wish I knew why. This may be the start of my literal break down.
     
    Maybe it's work? I've been so stressed about it lately. Shoots are going to be done, fashion week is about to start, the constant flying, and everything else. I think that it's starting to take a toll on me. The problem is that I keep pushing, it's like I have no limit. When it becomes too much, I shrug it all of and keep going.
     
    School also starts soon. It's going to be stressful, especially if work is going to be extra strenuous.
     
    Throughout all of it, I still keep going. Like an overused car, I keep pushing myself. Why? I don't know. At times I feel like I'm not living for much, it's all about making others feel good. I've never thought of myself first. I'm not even going to lie, being single for this long has made me so used to lonely. I always say to myself, "don't think about it! you have to focus on tasks at hand." So, I ignore every possible suitor. I think of every possible excuse I can to not see them. To not open myself up.
     
    I think the ice I've built up for the past seven years is slowly starting to melt. I'm scared because I'll be vulnerable. I don't want to be, I can't be, I refuse to be. I don't even know what my point is anymore, maybe putting it on here will give me some comfort.
     
    I'm just so used to trying to be perfect. My mom used to tell me, "do you ever have an off day? Bambini, I don't want you to burn out, just take it easy." But it's hard, I don't know why it's so damn hard. I'd assure her everything was fine, but secretly, I was trying to make myself feel better. It's sad really.
     
    So here I am... smoking a cigarette and drinking some orange juice and vodka. At 6 in the damn morning.
  5. ryan jo

    Trollol

    By ryan jo,

    I don't get why these types of people still exist, they constantly bother others because they feel important. They constantly troll spaces because they have nothing better to do with themselves. So, they continue to annoy our lives.
     
    My problem with bullies are simple, they like to blame others for the incompetent life they have. I shouldn't have to subject myself to a persons idiotic attitude. What I'm saying is simple, stop your ways. You're not funny, you're not witty, you're not entertaining, and you're not dry or sarcastic. You're just annoying.
     
    This isn't meant for a specific person, what I'm saying is meant for a general audience.
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