Low Flyer

A fact not lost, presumably, on Basingstoke?

Thanks for that extra clarification about Bridget's reasons for wanting Trevor out of the picture. I'd forgotten about the asset list.

Thanks for that, Daddydavek.

Could someone remind me of the "official" reason why Bridget and George originally set out to have Trevor killed? I'm happy to be pointed at the relevant chapter if that's easier. It's just that it now seems as if they want to kill him just for the sake of it - Sanchez is embarrassed that he hasn't succeeded so far. I presume there was some kind of justification originally but I can't remember what it was and can't immediately put my finger on the correct chapter. Thanks, LF

Oh come on, Marty - remember it includes rice and peas. Rice AND peas, Marty.

Only £4.50, including rice and peas. Not bad at all. Now, where can we get some goat... ?

I can confirm this ...

I'm going to chip in here on what seems to be the (vast) majority side here. Yes, the story could be shorter - of course it could. You could have written the whole lot as a short story and been done with it. But it's not a short story so the style is that of a novel. How many chapters could you have saved with a sentence along the lines of, "After leaving the Suez Canal, Trevor was set upon by pirates and was lucky to survive, eventually limping into Carnarvon under a jury rig, having lost what little was left by the pirates during a storm in the Southern Ocean"? A dozen? More? Would it have been half so good a story? Of course not - not close to half. A fraction too small to measure probably. You mention the Kline/Fowler interview specifically. You could simply have said that they came to an agreement for Kline to publish a version of the story tailored to remove any specific references to Trevor's whereabouts. It would have got the message across. We'd have known why Fowler was picking Kline up and taking him out in the Coastguard boat. I for one, though, would have missed it. I want to be there for every detail of this story. Trevor and Shane are friends of mine now and I want to know exactly what's going on with them. I really hope we see some more of their explorations as Shane takes on Joel's role as Trevor's travelling companion. Too many characters? I confess, I'd forgotten all about Ben, but I do know what Atlantis looks like so he served his purpose. I could tell you a fair amount about all the main characters - I really don't see how you could have many fewer. There just aren't too many - I don't think the average reader can be having that much trouble. I think you have a point when you point to the serial nature of the story, but it's not the point you're talking about. It's not that it's become bloated it's just that we all have to wait a week between chapters so, of course, it seems longer. I came in somewhere near the end of the Southern Ocean I think and I can assure you that there was never any chance of me not going directly from the end of one chapter to the start of the next. I'm pretty sure that if I were to re-read the whole thing then that feeling would continue right up to the latest chapter. One day, you may publish this story in some other form. I'm not a literary editor or anything but, one day, I'd be happy to part with cash for a paper copy of this in a bookshop. Maybe then, some editing will be required, but I hope you don't mess about with the timeline too much. I suppose Matt Damon will be too old to play Trevor by the time the film version is made... So, let's have the 4 chapters that are with your team as they are. It is, of course, up to you how you write the following chapters, but I hope you won't be tempted to shorten them too much.

Fine by me. I like reading them.

Wouldn't have given anything to me.

Sorry, I was joking - you're entirely entitled to your opinion. I tend to agree that none of the teenage protagonists is likely to meet an unpleasant end, but you have to admit - the journey from the Suez Canal to Australia was a little tense at times... There were times when I seriously wondered whether CJ would risk the wrath of his readers by drowning Trevor. By the way, by "a little tense" I in no way wish to imply that any of the chapters may have ended in cliffhangers. CJ's made it very clear that he doesn't use them and who am I to doubt him? As for the identity of Trevor's mother, who knows? Have you looked in the Brainstorming thread? There's a bunch of speculation there. I'm avoiding it in case it gives anything away, but there's probably something there about his mum.

Absolutely. There can't have been more than half a dozen attempts on the hero's life so far...

Yes, he's heading directly for Carnarvon - the one in Western Australia, that is. The one where Trevor is!!!

You're such a cynic, Marty...

Thanks for that, James. I laughed like a drain throughout that. There's no getting away from it, Australia's a dangerous place! It's also an amazing place - as long as you've got a decent suit of armour, there's no reason not to visit, and it's well worth it. :2hands:

Possibly, but you have to wonder how long you're going to live if you try one of these abominations!

Easy enough with hindsight or from our disinterested point of view. In Trevor's situation, I'd have thought 9 out 10 people would do exactly what he did and immediately call Joel.

From the chapter: “Exactly,” Trevor said, turning to smile at Shane, the tension he’d felt already easing. That call from Officer Gonzalez was stressful And yet, you still say that there is no tension or stress in this tale? Even the characters have noticed it, and they only know one or two points of view. How much worse for us, your poor readers, who know everyone's?

What a brilliant expression! As for the goat, well, we'll see... I want to trust him - he comes over as such a nice chap - but I confess to moments of doubt. As I said, we'll see.

Gosh, I'm so glad you said that, CJ. I admit, I was a little apprehensive about the next few chapters containing high levels of tension and possibly even something like a cliffhanger. As it is, I'm much relieved thanks to your reassurance that nothing bad will happen. Er, you wouldn't lie to us, would you?

Surely he took the phone because they were going jogging in the middle of nowhere - if one of them twisted an ankle, it's a heck of a long way for the other to go for help whilst leaving the injured one in the desert. Taking the phone was just common sense. That's not to say that they won't get a call informing them of the breaking news back home though I'd have thought it more likely to come from the Blakes. Does Fowler even know the number of the sat-phone on board? Anyway, I liked the chapter - it's nice to see the boys' relationship developing. Some of my favourite bits of the tale so far have been the travelogue ones in the Mediterranean - just following them along on Google maps. Actually, I'm slightly concerned at how Trevor's going to deal with setting sail again. How's he going to cope with being back out in the open ocean, albeit that this time he'll have Shane by him? It seems to me like a sure-fire recipe for another panic attack.

Cliffhanger? Well, to be absolutely fair to CJ (which goes completely against the grain, you understand) it's a pretty small cliff - more of a sand dune really. The investigations moved forward, though hardly decisively and the news finally broke as we always knew it must. I'm hoping it means that the nasty journalist is out-scooped. I don't want him earning a penny from the whole business. I guess there's still no reason why anyone should know where Trevor and Shane are, though. Australia's a pretty big place and the number of people who know either guy is pretty small.

Too many clues to what exactly? There seems to be very little left to the imagination... I suspect you've made a lot of people very happy.

I think, given the evidence in Chapter 80 of Shane's inability to count and what we already know of the Goat's abilities with a calendar, that this is now indubitable...

You forgot to mention, a simple oversight I'm sure, that none of the foregoing in any way racks up the tension or could possibly be construed by any reasonable person as a cliffhanger...