Gemma

Thanks for all the very helpful and insightful comments. Following the line of thought 'I'd always wonder', I got up the courage enough to ask him about it. Asking him though made him really worried and upset. Worried that I felt insecure--he said he never wanted me to feel hurt--and upset, because he said I should never have had to ask. It sort of boiled down to a trust discussion. I think, no matter how calmly one approaches a delicate talk, theres always going to be a certain amount of screw-up on either side. I feel confident now that he was just having a dream. Maybe he has same-sex fantasies from time-to-time, but he was quick to assure me there were plenty of others. I'm so relieved (he didn't cheat), though, it feels so much lighter now. Thank you all so much for caring enough to give me your thoughts. I appreciate them all. I guess, from my experience of this, if I were to approach the talk again, I'd have done it less 'calmly' and more 'jokingly' to see the reaction I'd have gotten that way. Sometimes I think, maybe I shouldn't have asked at all--but it's easy to say that AFTER asking (lol). Anyway, thanks again so much. I look forward to continuing to read all your awesome stories!

Cia, thanks for your response. I think you might be right about the always wondering becoming an issue. I haven't been able to concentrate all day. When I talk to him on the phone though, he sounds so caring and sweet and it makes me think I have to be so wrong. And I really hope I am, because he's the person of all my family and friends I feel I'm closest to. If I lose that trust in him, I don't think I could ever trust again. I wonder if losing that sense of trust is worth asking him at all now. I don't know I could handle it, honestly. For seven years, he's pretty much been the only one. Hmmm, I feel lost . . .

TetRefine, Thanks for the link. This is a great discussion, however, I feel it delves into the question of divorce more than it deals with my current 'first step' issue: How do I bring this up? How do I approach talking about it? And, I want to know other people's opinions: Does what I wrote above sound like I have a cause for concern? Or am I overreacting? Do straight guys just dream and sleep talk about doing other guys? Or hey, even, do gay guys dream and sleep talk about doing women? I just want to know if this should even be taken seriuosly before I go and 'talk' to my husband. I know my initial reaction was to think he might have been cheating. But it's possible he didn't, right?

Thanks Micheal. Could you provide a link for that discussion? I'd be grateful. The more I think about it, the more I convince myself it doesn't mean anything--maybe it was just a dream? But I'm afraid that's the scardey-cat in me talking.

I'm not sure where to start with this. Firstly, I'll say the reason why I'm posting this topic here is because reading some of the other topics, I've been impressed with the advice given. GA members seem to be a caring, intelligent group of people who take questions seriously and offer great insights. I'll outline my situation briefly followed by my questions... I'm married, mid-twenties, with one child. I love my husband, and (I believe) he loves me. He's been traveling for work quite a bit lately, and for the last month he's been away. He gets on really well with some guys. One of his colleagues he seems to get on really well with, I sometimes wonder if I see admiration in his eyes when he talks about him. Anyway, they travel together. I may have had occasional fleeting (in my mind ridiculous) thoughts that he's maybe interested in him--but I dismiss these as me reading into things wrongly. However, this week he came back, we were in bed and maybe 30mins-1hr into him sleeping, he starts to come on to me. Sexually and actively. Thing is I'm still awake, I can't sleep. Without getting into physical details, I'll get to the point of my concern. He's talking. And he says, and I quote (word for word (I wrote it down immediately, and couldn't sleep the rest of the night, either): "I just want your dick. I love to suck it." I budged him off, saying I was not interested (uh, not after that), and he just fell back to sleep. The first thing that went through my mind, along with a bit of shock was: Has he been doing this in his hotel room when he's away on business? So, to my questions: How do I delicately approach asking him about this? Should I ask him about this, or am I being overly worried?--Is this normal to happen for a straight guy? Are there any gay guys here who have been in a relationship with a woman and had a similar situation--how would you have wanted to be asked about it? Should I even ask? We have a child together--perhaps I should ignore it? And my confession: I'm scared to ask. Maybe I just don't want to know. If he's bi, I can live with that--I really do believe he loves me. But then, on the other hand, I give my trust way too freely, I could never believe he'd cheat on me, but I can't help but wonder when he said/did this. Am I overthinking this all and I don't have anything to worry about? Additionally, if it's not clear, I'm very pro gay rights and believe you love who you love. This doesn't change the fact that I'm concerned. I'd appreciate only serious answers, please.

I've exprienced depression before--it can be really debilitating. It sort of takes over your body to the point it's hard to get out of bed. I think there definitely is something to "positive thinking" and trying to focus on the good things, but in my female experience, I found that it was hormonal. I changed my pill and things cleared up almost immediately. I would refrain from anti-depressants--just not to get reliant on them, but if things get really bad talk to a doctor. Or, and this is something else I found that helps, talk to a counsillor. Sometimes just talking things through can help miracles.

Thanks for the link! This is really helpful. I liked the 'Cleaning up you style'.