Uplifted Spirit

I was exhausted when I wrote this but was committed to getting it written so decided shorter was better than no chapter. The next one is a bit longer. I usually shoot for 3000 words. It can be hard sometime. Thanks to you, this story took the turn it did. You use that quote all the time about loving someone and letting them go, so next thing I know I'm having Thomas do just that. It's both a positive and negative at the same time. I have a feeling though that Colt may do a lot of experimenting before coming back to Thomas, if he comes back at all. Who knows, maybe Thomas and Matt might hook up. Interesting possibility.

Thanks Edward. You are the firs to post a review of Knots 1 chapter 1.

Jaro I had similar feelings about leaving the story hanging with Zoe and Colt and Thomas, but I didn't want the Knots 4 to get too long so thought it was time to bring it to an end. I expected more negative comments than I received because of that. But I guess everyone figures they'll find out what happens in Knots 5, which I hope to write today. I've been very busy and haven't had time to write. Thanks for your comments and I'm glad you're enjoying the read. And Lisa love complements. She really makes a big difference.

Knots 5 Chapter 1 Matt It’s hard to believe that Andy and I have written so much. We both figured we’d only be writing about our freshman year, which was a traumatic year for us. But we ended up writing Knots 5. Who’d have thought? Andy and I did some pretty dumb things during our first three years of high school, and if nothing else, we were a little wiser for it. Well, at least I was. I’m sure Andy will disagree. If you’ve been following our lives, you know

Matt and Andy start Knots 5 in the summer before their senior year in high school. They’ve tied some pretty big knots in the last three years. Matt is still unsure about his sexuality and made some mistakes that jeopardize his future. Andy knows he’s gay and wishes Matt did too. It isn’t to be at least for now. Matt and Andy are in their twenties at the time of this writing and are telling us about the knots they tied in their lives during their senior year in high school.

Columbus Guy Your comments do point out the mess everyone's lives are in. But you know what, getting hurt is a part of life. Maybe I sound like a cynic, but I'm not sure I can count the number of times I've been hurt. That's not why I write about it though. But it seems like if spend all our time avoiding getting hurt, then we can't live a full life and for that reason the characters are exploring and in the process will learn lessons that can't be learned otherwise. I'm always surprised when a person who hasn't done much with their life or has made some big mistakes says, that if they had to do it all over again, they wouldn't change a thing. I think it has something to with the feeling that if they did, they'd be betraying themselves. This may be food for thought and maybe an idea for another book. Thanks for your comments.

Lisa I'm glad you liked this last chapter. I had my doubts as you know. It's hard to bring things to a close in a way that doesn't leave the readers mad and upset. I just wrote the intro to Knots 5 and should run it by you before it's set in concrete. There was a point in the middle of Knots 4 where I had no idea where the story was going to go next and now there's so much happening and I'm wondering where it will all lead. Thanks for writing and for editing Knots.

Zarek You are the first to write a comment. I'm pleased to see three comments and reviews. Life is easier when you know who you are or at least think you know who you are. Decisions are easier and there is so much less self-doubt. But in my experience, those who examine their lives are better people in the long run. I often think of how tormented poor Abraham Lincoln was over the war as well as his family. We've had too many Presidents who don't seem to be in contact with their feelings or who don't ever question their decisions. They may sleep nights, but what about the people who are affected by their decisions.

Jaro, your thoughts I think express the confusion of these boys. They are young, and while I think most teenagers like to believe they know a lot about life, they really don't. We were the same when we were their age. Like I said in a previous reply, we like to believe we knew all the answers, but we didn't. I laugh when just recently I was thinking how wise I was when I was a teenager. I suppose in some ways I was, but there were many many ways that I wasn't. I'd like to say I was much wiser than some of my friends, but I'm not sure now if I really was.

Zarek You're right. He is questioning. As he should be doing. Andy and Matt both like sex, but Andy views sex slightly differently than Matt, although I suddenly find myself hard pressed to explain what it is. I think Matt love sex, but he doesn't see it as a starting point. Andy kind of does. Andy isn't satisfied if he's not having sex. Matt seems to have it more in perspective. Now, as you know and Columbus Guy know, when you are an author, you'd like to think you understand the motivation and the thought process of our characters, but we don't always know it. Sometimes they just do what they damn well please.

Columbus Guy I think the boys are as confused as the author. These last chapters have been difficult to write because I've been unsure where the story should go. So I let the characters lead the way and maybe they are just a reflection of my own confusion as to what they should or shouldn't do. I love happy endings, but as you know a lot happens before you can ever have a happy ending. And a happy ending can often be different for different people. I suppose that no matter how this all ends, we know Matt and Andy are still best friends. That's about all we know for sure right now. But, hey, that have a bit of a journey left before they arrive at their destination, so all we can do is enjoy the trip.

Spikey I understand your frustration, but in reality think of the people who put up with all kinds of things people do to them because they really care for them and all the time we think they should move on. Even Andy found it hard to accept that Dillon was having sex with other younger boys. We are often in denial. I think it's part of being human. And of course, it's always easy to see when we sit back as an observer, but when we're actually in it, it usually very hard to see. So in a way that's what happening with all these guys. They can't see the forrest for the trees as they say. Thanks for writing a comment. Keep them coming.

The quote is from me. I read something similar, but it wasn't the way I liked it so I rewrote it and didn't feel I could put the original author's name on it since I wrote it the way I wanted. You're right on because my goal has been to try to show the confusion most teenagers experience as they try to find their way in the world. Sometimes we forget what it was like. I sure do. The more I write the more I realize how out of touch I've become with my youth and the feelings and the crazy things I thought or did. Not that I was wild or anything, but my way of thinking was so different. Today I keep believing that I had it all together when I was a teen because as you know, when we get older, we see the world so clearly. But Andy, Matt, Thomas, and Colt do not. It's like my characters are teaching me about being a teenager again.

Jaro It is a bit like a soapy. These last few chapters have been hard to write because I have to tell you, I'm not sure where exactly they're going to go, but I think or at least I hope I managed to bring it just a little closer in the last chapter (chapter 38). I'm sure you'll let me know what you think when you get there. I appreciate your comments.

Jaro I'm sure glad you're enjoying this story so much. It does my heart good to hear you say it. I am a tease, but you know that's what keeps people coming back. At least I hope so. I mentioned once that I watch The Young and the Restless. I began doing it to discover how they keep people coming back and I think I've discovered the secret. At least I hope so and hope my readers don't get too upset.

Jaro Good to see you back. I figured you like letting the chapters build up so you can read them all at once intead of every week. But whatever, it's your choice and I appreciate your comments. My next book is going to be about regrets based kind of on my own life. The question I'm asking myself is: What would my life have been like if I'd have lived it differently. Of course, it will be fiction because I'd have to say that if I did this or that, what would the result have been. There really is no way of knowing, but there is cause and effect in life. I think that even those who have lived the worst lives still say they wouldn't change it because like you said, we learn from everything we do. Well, some of us do. There are many who fit the example of sanity that I quoted in the last chapter of Knots 4 (Chapter 38) You probably already know it so I won't repeat it here.

Knots 4 Chapter 38 Thomas and Colt Megan asked, “Are you happy now?”, as she and Thomas sat on the sofa just outside theater #8. “No! You and Zoe are the Sirens we learned about in Greek Mythology.” “Sirens?” “Yeah, when they sang, they lured the Greek sailors to their island to crash their ships on the rocks of their shores.” Megan nudged Thomas in the ribs with her elbow. “You’re not only cute, you’re smart. So you think

Knots 4 Chapter 37 Andy Matt really didn’t want to hear about my sex with Ashton. I wouldn’t have wanted to hear about his sex with anyone else either, but I thought he deserved it because he wouldn’t be my boyfriend. But, I’ll have to admit that I was glad I wasn’t in a committed relationship because the sex with Ashton was hot, and it was exciting having sex in public. I was ready to do it again and suggested to Ashton at school that we hook up again. He liked the idea,

Zarek, your review is very insightful. Made me think a lot. My thinking is that neither of these teens has a handle on life yet, and as we all know, we never do. We're always looking for answers and our best hope is that we do it without hurting someone else. You're right about Matt feeling bad about hurting Andying. Andy didn't seem to care how his having sex in the park and then telling Matt about it affected Matt. But at least these two talk to each other like Dr. Walker suggested. It sure doesn't mean that life will be smooth, but at least each knows how the other feels. This may be what saves them in the end.

Columbus Guy Ah, public sex. Scary, but in this case safe. It was tempting to have them get caught, but it might have messed up the story line. Interesting what you had to say about Matt. He's just one confused puppy. Strange to call a 16 year old a puppy, but we sometimes we forget these boys are still kids. Sixteen may seem old to a teenager, but for us old folks is damn young. Interesting that you think Andy got more out of the sessions with Dr. Walker than Matt. At times I suppose. The girls are bad news. I wonder what Megan is going to do now that she has Matt on her line.

The thing is Andy and Ashton are both a bit daring and inclined to do things they shouldn't as you'll see in chapter 36. And you're right. Matt is still one confused teenager.

Thanks Colombus Guy. I'm glad you find this interesting reading. Wish I knew where this is all going. Characters have a way of doing crazy things. The next chapter has been posted as I write this so I guess you'll soon know what happens.

Knots 4 Chapter 36 Andy Ashton and I walked to the park after school, the same park where Matt and I took Emily and Gina. I hadn’t been there since we double-dated with them. It just seemed like a good place to go on a hot May afternoon. School was going to be out in a week, so I began to think that Ashton and I might spend the summer together while Matt and the other gay guys tried to figure out which team they played on. Ashton had sandy blond hair, blue/gray ey

Zarek, you make a lot of good points. You're very observant. Matt does have the right to find his way and if Andy loves him, he will let him do it. It's a different story between Colt and Thomas of course because they're in a committed relationship. So who knows where that might take either or both of them. Plus I'm not aware that being bisexual is a bad thing after all LGBT includes bisexuals. I know there's now a fifth letter but I can't remember what it is. Maybe it I don't give a damn. Just making fun.

Thanks for the comments. Poor confused Matt. But you know how it is when you write, your characters just don't always do what you want them to do. I haven't been able to get Matt or Andy to behave. And then those darn devious girls. Hum, I wonder what will happen next? lol