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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    MDBCs 10 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 893
    January 10th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Behnam, Sarah, and the Forty Martyrs (Armenian Apostolic Church) Gregory of Nyssa Leonie Aviat Obadiah (Coptic Church) Peter Orseolo Pope Agatho (Roman Catholic) William Laud (Anglican Communion) William of Donjeon January 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Fête du Vodoun (Benin) Margaret Thatcher Day (Falkland Islands) Majority Rule Day (Bahamas)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Houseplant Appreciation Day
    League of Nations Day
    National Bittersweet Chocolate Day
    National Oysters Rockefeller Day
    National Save The Eagles Day
    National Shareholders Day
    National Take the Stairs Day
    Peculiar People Day
     
    Sisi Stringer’s Birthday
    Rod Stewart’s Birthday
    Pat Benatar’s Birthday
    Ben Azelart’s Birthday
    George Foreman
    Jared Kushner
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wed Jan 10th, 2024 - Tue Jan 16th, 2024
    National Obesity Awareness Week
     
    Fun Observances
     Cut Your Energy Costs Day
    Forgot to add being thrifty and eco-friendly to your New Year’s resolution list? Now is your chance to rectify that because January 10 is Cut your Energy Cost Day.

    Use this day to make changes in your daily life that would reduce your household’s energy consumption and cut down on your monthly energy expenses.
    How to Celebrate?
    Turn down the heat and the cooling when you are not home. Switch off all unnecessary lights when you are home. Walk or ride a bike to work – not only is it healthy, you will be saving $$. Carpool or take public transport to work. Take shorter showers to save on water consumption and heating costs. Did You Know…
    ...that using lids while cooking can reduce energy consumption by as much as 15%?
     
      ***
     
     
    How To Translate Work Emails
    I have a question.     =     I have 18 questions. I’ll look into it.     =     I’ve already forgotten about it. I tried my best.     =     I did the bare minimum. Happy to discuss further.     =     Don’t ask me about this again. No worries.     =     You really messed up this time. Take care.     =     This is the last you’ll ever hear from me. Cheers!     =     I have no respect for you or myself!  
    ***
     
    I supervised an employee who had a negative view of everything 
I did.
    If I took a vacation day, I was “never there.”
    If I praised someone’s work, it was “too little, too late.”
    He eventually took another job 
but was fired six months later. Shortly thereafter, he contacted 
me, hoping to return to his old job.
    “Have you learned anything from this experience?” I asked.
    “Yes, I should have stayed here,” 
he admitted. “You’re too indecisive to have ever fired me.”
     
    ***
     
    “Has your son decided what 
he wants to be when he grows up?” 
I asked my friend.
    “He wants to be a garbageman,” 
he replied.
    “That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”
    “Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.”
     
    ***
     
    My son was born while I was serving abroad, so he was three 
before we met. When I got home, I decided it was time for a little father-son bonding time. I bought him a 
toy razor and invited him to “shave” with me.
    In the bathroom, I took 
up my razor and started shaving. 
I looked around to see how my son was doing.
    His foot was up on the side of the bathtub, and he was 
running the razor up and down 
his leg. So much for male bonding.
     
    ***
     
    A police officer in a small town stopped a driver speeding down the main street. The driver said he could explain why he was speeding, but the police officer said he was going to put him in jail until the Chief got back, but lucky for the driver that the chief will be in a good mood because he is at his daughter's wedding.
    The driver said, "Don't count on it. I'm the groom."
     
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    MDBCs 09 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 891
    January 9th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adrian of Canterbury Berhtwald Translation of the Black Nazarene (Manila, Philippines) Philip II, Metropolitan of Moscow Julia Chester Emery (Episcopal Church (USA)) Stephen (old calendar Eastern Orthodox) January 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Start of Hōonkō (Nishi Honganji) January 9–16 (Jōdo Shinshū Buddhism) Martyrs' Day (Panama) Non-Resident Indian Day (India) Day of Republika Srpska (Republika Srpska entity of Bosnia and Herzegovina, result of 2016 Republika Srpska National Day referendum) (note: not celebrated and disputed in wider Bosnia and Herzegovina, having been declared unconstitutional in 2015)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Balloon Ascension Day
    International Choreographers Day
    National Apricot Day
    National Austin Day
    National Carter Day
    National Cassoulet Day
    National Faith Day
    National Law Enforcement Day
    National Shop For Travel Day
    National WONK Day
    Play God Day
     
    Sean Paul’s Birthday
    Toosii’s Birthday
    Quincy Boykins’s Birthday
    Wengie’s Birthday
    Nina Dobrev’s Birthday
    Flo Milli’s Birthday
    Eret’s Birthday
    Dave Matthews’s Birthday
    Brent Rivera’s Birthday
    Richard Nixon’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
     Static Electricity Day
    January 9 is Static Electricity Day a day to honor this unexpected, mostly unpleasant, and sometimes hair rising phenomenon.

    Static electricity occurs due to an accumulation of positive electric charges on an object's surface.
    Shocks You!
    It is called static because the charge stays on the surface until it comes into contact with another surface with a negative charge.
    Static electricity can be created by rubbing an object against another. Some materials like wool and glass are much more likely to have static electricity. Dry human skin and hair also accumulate electric charges. This is why people tend to experience shocks when they touch doorknobs or anything made of metal during the winter time.
    Triboelectric Series
    The Triboelectric Series is a list of materials that are ranked by their ability to accumulate positive and negative charges.
    This shocking holiday is also sometimes called National Static Electricity Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about what causes static electricity. Conduct experiments with the kids in your life to show them the causes and effects of static electricity. Learn how to avoid static during the winter months. Did You Know…
    …that lightning is a natural example of when sparks are discharged due to the buildup of static electricity?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Word Nerd Day
    Word Nerd Day is celebrated annually on January 9.

    Love your dictionary? Do you like long, complicated, fancy words? If your answer is yes, then this is the unofficial holiday for you.
    Learn New Words
    While the origins of this holiday are unknown, we assume that those who created it wanted word and language nerds to celebrate their expansive vocabulary, and for people to pick up their dictionaries and thesauruses to learn more about the origin, meaning, and usages of words in their language.
    Smallest Meaningful Unit
    A word is the smallest unit in a language that conveys a meaning when it is written and spoken by itself. When written, it has white space at its beginning and the end, but not in the middle. When spoken, a word is a form of speech that is uttered as a single unit.
    How to Celebrate?
    Are you a word nerd? Be proud of who you are. Use words no less than 7 letters long in all your conversations. Do crosswords and play word puzzles all day long. Spend the day learning about new words and finding occasions to use them. Did You Know…
    …that according to the Oxford Dictionary, “bookkeeper” is the only word in the English language without any hyphens with three consecutive repeated letters?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor...
    A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
    “Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.
    “No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
     
    ***
     
    A Scottish mother visits her 
son in his New York City apartment and asks, “How do you find the Americans, Donald?”
    “Mother,” says Donald, “they’re such noisy people. One neighbor won’t stop banging his head against the wall, while the other screams and screams all night long.”
    “Oh, Donald! How do you manage to put up with them?”
    “What can I do? I just lie in bed quietly, playing my bagpipes.”
     
    ***
     
    To get my cousin to write to 
her even once, my aunt resorted to 
sending him a check with this note: “Do not cash until you write me a thank-you.”
    A few weeks later, the check had cleared, yet no message had arrived. So she called him. “I told you not to cash the check until you’d written to thank me,” she complained.
    “I didn’t cash the check,” he said. “I deposited it.”
     
    ***
     
    The new draftee refused to march with his squad. Instead, he rode his invisible motorcycle beside them while making motorcycle noises. After a few weeks of this and several psychiatric exams, he was given a discharge. He rode his Hog to the main gate, propped it up on its invisible stand and walked out.
    "Hey," called the gate guard. "You forgot your bike."
    "No," replied the draftee, "I'm leaving it for the next guy who wants to get out."
     
     
    ***
     
     

    I'd laugh, but I have done this myself and with the toaster.
     
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    I can so relate to this!!
    (been there, done that, check my photo albums )
     
    ***
     

     
     
     
    sandrewn
     
  3. sandrewn

    MDBCs 08 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 890
    January 8th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Babinden (Belarus, Russia) Christian feast day: Abo of Tiflis Apollinaris Claudius Blessed Eurosia Fabris Gauchito Gil (Folk Catholicism) Gudula Harriet Bedell (Episcopal Church (USA)) Lawrence Giustiniani Lucian of Beauvais Maximus of Pavia Our Lady of Prompt Succor (Roman Catholic Church) Pega (Anglican and Roman Catholic churches) Severinus of Noricum Thorfinn of Hamar January 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commonwealth Day (Northern Mariana Islands) Earliest day on which Children's Day can fall, while January 14 is the latest; celebrated on the second Saturday in January. (Thailand) Typing Day (International observance)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Argyle Day
    Coming of Age Day
    National 4th Graders Day
    National Bubble Bath Day
    National English Toffee Day
    National Gluten-Free Day
    National JoyGerm Day
    National Man Watcher's Day
    National Snuggle a Chicken Day
    National Winter Skin Relief Day
    Plough Monday
    Show And Tell At Work Day
    War on Poverty Day
    National Career Coach Day
     
    Stephen Hawking’s Birthday
    Ryan Destiny’s Birthday
    Joshua Perez’s Birthday
    Gia Giudice’s Birthday
    Elvis Presley’s Birthday
    David Bowie’s Birthday
    Anna Marisax’s Birthday
    Valkyrae’s Birthday
    Noah Cyrus’s Birthday
    R. Kelly
     
    Fun Observances (2)
     Earth's Rotation Day
    January 8 is Earth’s Rotation Day. The day commemorates when French Physicist, Leon Foucault, demonstrated the Earth rotates on its axis in 1851.

    To prove his theory, Foucault suspended a lead-filled brass sphere, now called the Foucault Pendulum from the top of the Pantheon in Paris.
    He showed that the plane of the swing of the pendulum rotated relative to the Earth’s rotation. You can now see the Foucault Pendulum demonstrating the rotation of the Earth in science museums around the world.
    How to Celebrate?
    Visit your local space and science museum to learn more about the Earth’s rotation and what effect it has on humans. If you have kids, what about making a model of the Earth and the Sun with them, so that they can learn more about the Earth’s rotation? Did You Know…
    ...that the speed of the Earth's rotation can change from day to day and from year to year?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Clean Off Your Desk Day
    To honor an uncluttered, organized and clean workspace, the second Monday of January is celebrated as the Clean Off Your Desk Day.

    This unofficial and clearly made-up holiday encourages people to have a clutter-free, clean, and organized workspace.
    Increase Productivity
    Productivity experts and scientists agree that a functional workspace is important for having a fulfilling and productive work life. Clean and organized work desks allow workers to focus and to organize and process information. In addition, research shows that those who work within cluttered spaces tend to get frustrated faster than those whose workspaces are organized and clean.
    How to Celebrate?
    Clean your desk, of course! Take a few hours to organize all the paperwork that has piled up over the last year and to purge your desk and workspace of things you have no use for anymore. Shred any paperwork with any sensitive or personal information, give away duplicate office supplies, and file away important documents. And while you are at it, organize your PC or laptop desktop as well. Did You Know...
    ...that the word desk comes from the old Latin word discus meaning platter or plate?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    I said, "I love you so much. I could never live without you."
    My girlfriend giggled and asked, "Is that you talking or the beer?"
    I said, "It's me talking to the beer..."
     
    ***
     
    This man was really lonely, so he posted an ad on a popular website. The ad said, simply: "Wife wanted."
    He was surprised the next morning to find he had over a hundred replies in his inbox.
    Unfortunately, they all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
     
    ***
     
    A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no 
secrets except for one: The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that 
she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed—and with her blessing—he opened the box and found a 
crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.
    “My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never 
argue,” she explained. “Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
    Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box—that meant she’d been angry with him only once in 60 years.
    “But what about all this money?” he asked.
    “Oh,” she said, “that’s the money 
I made from selling the dolls.”
     
    ***
     
    People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same,
    but really, there's a whole world of difference between them.
     
     
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    sandrewn
     
  4. sandrewn

    MDBCs 07 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 889
    January 7th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast Day: André Bessette (Canada) Canute Lavard Charles of Sezze Felix and Januarius Lucian of Antioch Raymond of Penyafort Synaxis of John the Forerunner & Baptist (Julian Calendar) January 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christmas (Eastern Orthodox Churches and Oriental Orthodox Churches using the Julian Calendar, Rastafari) Christmas in Russia Christmas in Ukraine Ethiopian Christmas Remembrance Day of the Dead (Armenia) Distaff Day (medieval Europe) Nanakusa no sekku (Japan) Pioneer's Day (Liberia) Tricolour day or Festa del Tricolore (Italy) Victory from Genocide Day (Cambodia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Golden Globe Awards
    Harlem Globetrotter’s Day
    I Am a Mentor Day
    I’m Not Going To Take It Anymore Day
    National Bobblehead Day
    National Pass Gas Day
    National Tempura Day
     
    Camille Rowe’s Birthday
    Weston Koury’s Birthday
    Nicolas Cage’s Birthday
    Rand Paul’s Birthday
    Lewis Hamilton’s Birthday
    Lamar Jackson’s Birthday
    Clix’s Birthday
    Blue Ivy Carter’s Birthday
    Jeremy Renner
    Al Capone
     
    Fun Observances
    Old Rock Day
    January 7 is Old Rock Day. The unofficial holiday encourages people to acknowledge, celebrate, and learn more about old rocks and fossils.

    A rock is a solid mass made of minerals or mineral-like substances. Used for a variety of purposes throughout the history of humankind - as tools, musical instruments, weapons and for mining - rocks form the outermost layer of Earth.
    A Peek Into Earth's History
    While natural processes - volcanic eruptions and erosion - continually help create rocks on Earth, old rocks are especially important to those who study the Earth and its history. Old rocks hold many answers to the mysteries of Earth's formation - they can tell scientists about natural events that played a role in the formation of the rocks and the effects that event had on other life forms in the area.
    Old rocks can also sometimes hold fossils - the preserved remains of animals, plants and other organisms. These fossils can help scientists find out the kind of flora and fauna that existed in the past and what may have caused them to evolve or go extinct.
    Finding the Age of Old Rocks
    Geologists date old rocks using a technique called radiometric dating or radioactive dating. The process involves looking at the decay of radioactive elements available in rocks. The oldest rock of terrestrial origin to be dated using this method is a zircon found in the Jack Hills of Australia. Scientists estimate that the rock could be as old as 4.4 billion years.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the types of old rocks. Pick up a book about fossils and learn how fossils tell us more about the Earth’s past or visit your local natural history museum. Take a walk in the park and collect interestingly shaped rocks. Buy your loved ones some pretty looking rocks. And by rocks, we mean jewels. After all, diamonds are old rocks. Looking for a new hobby? May we suggest collecting rocks? Find rocks boring? Listen instead to music from old rock bands. Did You Know…
    ...that Petrology is the scientific study of rocks?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it:
    • Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably 
    • Free: 5 kitchen drawers, all matching naughty pine fronts 
    • Free Vain Screening 
    • Free rent in exchange for elderly woman 
     
    ***
     
    My three-year-old sat in the bathroom with me, watching as I 
removed my dentures and brushed them. After a few minutes, he asked, “Can you take your ears off too?”
     
    ***
     
    I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.
    “Hi, Miss Butcher,” I said.
    “Hi, Eddie,” she replied.
    “So you do remember me?” I asked.
    “Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.”
     
    ***
     
    Q. A man is washing windows on the 25th floor of an apartment building. Suddenly, he slips and falls. He has nothing to cushion his fall, and no safety equipment—but he doesn't get hurt. How is this possible?
    A. He's washing windows inside the building.
     
     
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    Mongolian Armed Forces - Wikipedia
    Mongolian Naval Force — Shipshub
     
    ***
     

    (Now I feel old)
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    MDBCs 06 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 888
    January 6th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Iraq) Christian Feast day: André Bessette (Roman Catholic Church) January 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christmas: Christmas (Armenian Apostolic Church) Christmas Eve (Russia) Christmas Eve (Ukraine) Christmas Eve (Bosnia and Herzegovina) Christmas Eve (North Macedonia) Epiphany or Three Kings' Day (Western Christianity) or Theophany (Eastern Christianity), and its related observances: Befana Day (Italy) Little Christmas (Ireland) Þrettándinn (Iceland)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Apple Tree Day
    Day of Los Reyes
    Dry Bean Day
    National Cuddle Day
    National Davis Day
    National Samantha Day
    National Smith Day
    National Take a Poet to Lunch Day
    National Take Down the Christmas Tree Day
    National Walker’s Shortbread Day
    Uruguay Children's Day/Ephiphany
    World Day of War Orphans
     
    Rowan Atkinson’s Birthday
    Ree Drummond’s Birthday
    Norman Reedus’s Birthday
    MattyB’s Birthday
    Keyshia Ka'oir’s Birthday
    Joan of Arc’s Birthday
    Tiffany Pollard’s Birthday
    Irina Shayk’s Birthday
    Hilaria Thomas Baldwin’s Birthday
    Eric Trump’s Birthday
    Arin Hanson’s Birthday
    Jay B’s Birthday
    Kate McKinnon
     
    Fun Observances
    Bean Day
    January 6 is Bean Day. If your question after hearing this is, why? Well, because beans are healthy – they are rich in proteins and fiber and they taste good.

    Some believe that this unofficial holiday, which is also known as Nation Bean Day in the United States, was created to commemorate the death anniversary of scientist Gregor Mendel. Known as the Father of Genetics, Mendel experimented on peas to discover the laws of genetic inheritance.
    Many Varieties
    Although many people around the world consider peas as part of the beans family, they are not technically beans. Botanists classify peas and snap peas as vegetables.
    Beans have been consumed by humans since ancient times. They are a natural source of proteins, fibers and vitamins and have a small environmental footprint. Today, there are 40,000 known varieties of beans around the world. Only a few of these are cultivated for human consumption.
    How to Celebrate?
    This is easy, have beans for every meal: baked beans for breakfast, red beans and rice for lunch, and bean soup for dinner. For dessert, have jelly beans, even though technically they are not beans. Make bean art. Use different colored beans to make pictures. Did You Know…
    ...that the leaves of a bean plant tilt towards the Sun in the day and fold up during the night?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Here's my favorite dad joke, with me as the dad: Every Sunday on the way to church, we would have to stop at a railroad crossing. And each time, I’d tell my 12-year-old daughter, “A train just went by. Know how I can tell? It left its tracks.” I got a moan the first couple of Sundays.
    After a while, every time we’d pull up to the crossing, all I had to do was look in the rearview mirror and she would smile. My daughter is now a college graduate and lives out of state, but every time I cross those tracks, I think of her.
     
    ***
     
    My dad was not a jokester, but his fun side did come out once in a while. When I was 12, he took me to a Chicago White Sox game with a group from a local tavern. The game between the Sox and the Indians was in the ninth inning, with the Sox ahead by a run. I was having so much fun, I said, “I hope the Indians tie the game in the ninth.”
    The die-hard Sox fans we were with were horrified, but not Dad. He started cheering for the Indians to score, even as the men yelled, “Cut it out; you’re a Sox fan!”
    The Sox ended up winning, everyone was happy, and my dad and I laughed all the way home.
    I miss him tremendously.
     
    ***
     
    My father and I were in the snowplow he drove for work when I saw a switch encased in a box.
    “What’s this for?” I asked.
    “It’s to turn red lights green,” he replied. As we reached a red light, he pointed to the box. “Try it.”
    I hit the switch, and it worked—the light turned green! Only much later did I find out that it was his garage-door opener.
     
    ***
     
    Q. A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room. The first room is ablaze with fire. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. The third contains a pair of lions who haven't eaten in years. Which room should he choose to survive?
    A. The third room—any lions who hadn't eaten in years would be dead!
     
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    MDBCs 05 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 887
    January 5th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast day: Charles of Mount Argus John Neumann (Catholic Church) Pope Telesphorus Simeon Stylites (Latin Church) January 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Harbin International Ice and Snow Sculpture Festival (Harbin, China) Joma Shinji (Japan) The Twelfth day of Christmas and the Twelfth Night of Christmas. (Western Christianity)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Carver Day
    National Day of Dialogue
    National Ellen Day
    National Keto Day
    National Screenwriters Day
    National Whipped Cream Day
     
    Kristin Cavallari’s Birthday
    Hayao Miyazaki’s Birthday
    Diane Keaton’s Birthday
    Bradley Cooper’s Birthday
    Marilyn Manson
    January Jones
    Robert Duvall
     
    Fun Observances
    Bird Day
    January 5 is Bird Day, a day to think about birds in captivity and to take action to ensure that birds are not exploited and are treated humanely.

    The day, started by Born Free U.S.A. and the Avian Welfare Coalition, aims to focus public attention on the fact that almost 12 per cent of bird species around the world are under threat of extinction.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read more about bird pet adoptions and laws in your country about adopting exotic birds as pets. Do due diligence when getting an exotic or imported bird as a pet. Use only well-reputed pet stores. Spread the word about humanely caring for exotic pet birds. Change your social media display picture to a picture of your favorite bird. Go bird watching and learn more about the birds indigenous to your area. Did You Know…
    …that hummingbirds lay the smallest eggs - the size of a pea - among birds?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A frightened man goes to the secret police and says, “My talking parrot disappeared.”
    “Why did you come here? Go to the regular police.”
    “I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.”
     
    ***
     
    A welsh politician asked the government for information about UFO sightings and if it might fund UFO research.
    Officials wrote back, “jang vIDa je due luq … ach ghotvam’e’ QI’yaH devolve qaS.”
    Which means, “The minister will reply in due course. However, this is a non-devolved 
matter,” in Klingon.
     
    ***
     
    The star of Cake Boss was 
arrested for DWI.
    Police interrogated him for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
     
    ***
     
    Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania, 
recount some funny stories about his time in office. One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a 
woman’s drink. She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had 
bought her a beer.
    “I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
    “You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”
     
    ***
     
    Names For Groups You Never Knew
    A pride of lions, a gaggle of geese … and here’s how we might classify these groups: • A brat of boys • A giggle of girls • A stagger of drunks • A tedium of accountants • A stitch of doctors • A whine of losers • A jerk of politicians  
    ***
     
    Q. A horse attached to a 24-foot chain sees an apple 26 feet away. How can the horse reach the apple?
    A. The horse just walks over to it, taking the chain with him—the chain isn't attached to anything!
     
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    MDBCs 04 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 886
    January 4th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Angela of Foligno Elizabeth Ann Seton Ferréol of Uzès Mavilus Pharaildis of Ghent Rigobert January 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The eleventh of the Twelve Days of Christmas. (Western Christianity) Independence Day (Myanmar), celebrates the independence of Myanmar from the United Kingdom in 1948. Colonial Martyrs Repression Day (Angola) Day of the Martyrs (Democratic Republic of the Congo) Ogoni Day (Movement for the Survival of the Ogoni People) Tokyo Dome Show: The annual Wrestle Kingdom event run by New Japan Pro-Wrestling World Braille Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Dimpled Chad Day
    Free Flower Basket Day
    National CanDo Day
    National Clara Day
    National Missouri Day
    National Rachel Day
    Pop Music Chart Day
    Tom Thumb Day
    Weigh-In Day
    World Hypnotism Day
    National Spaghetti Day
     
    Kris Bryant’s Birthday
    Isaac Newton’s Birthday
    Jeannie Mai’s Birthday
    Martell Holt’s Birthday
    Dafne Keen’s Birthday
    Kate McKinnon
    D’Arcy Carden
     
    Fun Observances
    Trivia Day
    Here is some trivia for you - January 4 is Trivia Day.

    The day celebrates information of little value and the individuals who not only remember these bits and pieces of useless information but also enjoy sharing them with others.
    Latin Term
    The word trivia comes from the Latin term for the intersection of three paths. In the Middle Ages, the word came to refer to the subjects - rhetoric, grammar, and logic - studied by those who followed the Liberal Arts field.
    Of Little Importance
    The modern day usage of the word trivia to mean something of little importance can be traced back to the publishing of the book - Trivialities, Bits of Information of Little Consequence - by British author Logan Pearsall Smith in 1902.
    Knowing and sharing trivia as a hobby and a pastime, however, did not become popular until the 1960s when the weekly newspaper of Columbia University, the Columbia Daily Spectator, published a trivia game on February 5, 1965. Soon, trivia became a popular game played at parties and at a competitive level.
    Trivia Day is also sometimes known as National Trivia Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Gather up some friends and play Trivial Pursuit. Call friends and family and enlighten them with some trivia. Even better, stop random people and start a conversation with “did you know...?” You may even make some friends. Participate in a trivia night or spend the day filling your brains with more random trivia. Did You Know…
    …that the term factoid, which is now used as a synonym of trivia originally referred to a piece of unreliable information that is accepted as a fact because it is repeated very often?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My great-aunt looked confused when I told her that my daughter was 18 months old. “Oh,” she said. “I thought she was a year and a half.”
    “But Aunt Marie," I said, “18 months and a year and a half are the same.”
    She shrugged. “What do I know? I never had kids.”
     
    ***
     
    During a high school visit to France, I stayed with a French family. One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to it and asked in my best 11th-grade French: “Qui est-ce?”
    The family’s expressions told me I needed some tutoring.
    Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended,
    I’d asked “Who is it?”
     
    ***
     
    My wife and I run a small restaurant where we often name our specials after our employees—dishes like "Chicken Mickey," after our dishwasher who gave us the recipe, and "Rod's Ribs," after a waiter who had his personal style of barbecue.   One evening after rereading the menu, I broke with this tradition and changed the description of the special we had named after our chef. Despite her skills and excellent reputation, somehow I didn't think an entrée named   "Salmon Ella" would go over big with our customers.     ***
     
    You know you're a mom when...
    ...picking up another human to smell their butt is not only normal but totally necessary
     
     
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    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    MDBCs 03 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 885
    January 3rd 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the 1966 Coup d'état (Burkina Faso) Christian feast day: Daniel of Padua Genevieve Holy Name of Jesus Kuriakose Elias Chavara (Syro-Malabar Catholic Church) Pope Anterus William Passavant (Episcopal Church) January 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Ministry of Religious Affairs Day (Indonesia) Tamaseseri Festival (Hakozaki Shrine, Fukuoka, Japan) The tenth of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Drinking Straw Day
    Earth at Perihelion - 1
    Perihelion Day - 2
    Humiliation Day
    International Mind-Body Wellness Day
    JRR Tolkien Day
    Memento Mori "Remember You Die" Day
    National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day
    National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day
    Women Rock! Day
     
    Lloyd Polite’s Birthday
    Mel Gibson’s Birthday
    Katie Thurston’s Birthday
    Jisoo Kim’s Birthday
    Katie McGrath’s Birthday
    J.R.R. Tolkien’s Birthday
    Raegan Revord’s Birthday
    Erick Brian Colón’s Birthday
    Então Roberta?’s Birthday
    Greta Thunberg’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Fruitcake Toss Day
    Fruitcake Toss Day on January 3 is an annual holiday that celebrates fruitcakes - the gift that keeps on giving - by tossing them in an empty space

    The holidays can be a stressful time and can make the calmest person want to toss something in anger. Well, fear not, collect all that dense, unwanted fruitcake that everyone and their sisters brought to your holiday party and toss them on Fruitcake Toss Day.
    It is thought that this holiday was first created and celebrated in Manitou Springs, Colorado, in 1995.
    How to Celebrate?
    Collect all the fruitcake you can. Find an empty space, and start tossing your fruitcakes. Feeling competitive? Compete for the highest or farthest throw. Fruitcakes are sometimes known as the gift that gives on giving, referring to a practice of re-gifting fruitcakes during the holiday season. So, instead of tossing fruitcakes, why not share them with family, friends, and colleagues? Did You Know…
    …that fruitcakes that contain alcohol have a long shelf life? Because of this, the fruitcake was the snack of choice for travelers and winter dwellers in the days of no refrigeration.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Festival of Sleep Day
    Take a break on January 3 or Festival of Sleep Day by sleeping in, taking naps or just staying in bed the whole day long.

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, we assume that the holiday encourages people to catch up on their sleep post-holiday and New Year celebrations.
    Important Sleep
    Sleep is one of the most common and important human activity. Sleep allows human bodies to rest, heal, develop and can help memory processing and preservation. Lack of sleep or poor sleep can have multiple negative effects on the human body and mind.
    How to Celebrate?
    This one is straightforward. Get into your favorite PJs, crawl into bed and get out only when you want to. They say that clean bed linen and an uncluttered and temperature controlled environment facilitates good sleep. Take stock of your sleeping environment on this day, and fix anything you think may be affecting your sleep. Need more rest? Try Public Sleeping Day in February. Did You Know…
    …that an irrational fear of sleep is known as Somniphobia?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A man vacations on a tropical 
island, and the first thing he hears 
is drums.
    He goes to the beach 
and hears the drums;
    he eats lunch, he hears the drums;
    he tries to sleep, he can’t—drums.
    Finally he storms over to the manager. “I’ve had it! Can’t you stop those drums?” he begs.
    “No!” says the manager. “It’s very bad if the drums stop.”
    “Why?”
    “When the drums stop, the bass solo begins.”
     
    ***
     
    My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane.
    Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: "We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time."
    A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags.
    "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."  
     
    ***
     
    I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices.
    "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied.
    "And what about Salt Lake City?"
    "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake—$99," she said "But there is a stopover."
    "Where?"
    "In Denver," she said.  
     
    ***
     
    Q. There's a one-story house where everything inside is pink: pink walls, pink doors, pink floors, pink ceilings, pink windows, pink curtains, pink chairs, and pink tables. What color are the stairs?
    A. There are none—it's a one-story house!
     
     
    ***
     
     

    Yes, Yes, I know it is the 3rd of January!
    But 2024 is Leap Year!!!
     
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    MDBCs 02 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 884
    January 2nd 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Ancestry Day (Haiti) Berchtold's Day (Switzerland) Christian feast day: Basil the Great (Catholic Church and Church of England) Gregory of Nazianzus (Catholic Church) Macarius of Alexandria Seraphim of Sarov (Eastern Orthodox Church) Vedanayagam Samuel Azariah (Episcopal Church) January 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Kaapse Klopse (Cape Town, South Africa) The first day of Blacks and Whites' Carnival, celebrated until January 7 (Colombia) The ninth of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    55 mph Speed Limit Day
    Happy Mew Year for Cats Day
    Motivation and Inspiration Day
    National Cream Puff Day
    National Erica Day
    National Personal Trainer Day
    National Pet Travel Safety Day
    New Year's Day Substitute
    Reconquest Day
    Swiss Cheese Day
    World Introvert Day
     
    Tfue’s Birthday
    Taye Diggs’s Birthday
    London Charles’s Birthday
    Dax Shepard’s Birthday
    Colby Brock’s Birthday
    Bryson Tiller’s Birthday
    Will Kirby’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Tue Jan 2nd, 2024 - Mon Jan 8th, 2024
    Someday We'll Laugh About This Week
     
    Fun Observances (3)
    Buffet Day
    Want to hit the buffet table one last time before you start your New Year’s resolution? Then Buffet Day on January 2 is the fun food holiday for you.

    How to Celebrate?
    Visit your favorite buffet restaurant for lunch or dinner and try every dish on the buffet table. Just make sure you have time to nap after your meal. Get together with friends to host a buffet lunch or dinner at home. Host a themed potluck buffet where everyone brings a dish or 2 that fits the theme. Here are some ideas: sandwich buffet, salad buffet or a bacon buffet - where all dishes have to have bacon in them. Did You Know…
    …that the idea of a buffet table originated from an alcoholic beverage serving system in Sweden?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Run It up the Flagpole and See If Anyone Salutes It Day
    January is the month of new beginnings, so it is only fitting that January 2 is Run It Up The Flagpole And See If Anyone Salutes It Day.

    The name of the holiday comes from the English language expression, run it up a flagpole and see if anyone salutes it, which means putting new ideas and ventures to test and to see if they gain acceptance and popularity, just like a flag would have respect by people saluting it.
    Advertising Term
    It is commonly used in advertising and is a popular phrase in the United States. The day encourages people to be creative and to implement their ideas.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a great idea? Run it by your friends and family to hear what they think. Want a style makeover? This may be the day to do it - ask your closest friends what you think of your new style. Want to start a new business? Go out and do your market research today. Did You Know…
    …that the world’s highest free-standing flagpole is located in Dushanbe, Tajikistan? Standing at 541 feet (165 meters), the flagpole is known as the Dushanbe Flagpole.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      Science Fiction Day            
    Science fiction fans around the world celebrate January 2 as Science Fiction Day. It celebrates science fiction writer Isaac Asimov's official birthday.

    The day was widely celebrated for the first time in 2012 and is usually known as National Science Fiction Day in the United States.
    Set in the Future
    The holiday focuses on a genre of literature that explores the effect of imaginary change through technological innovations, scientific discoveries, natural events and disasters and evolution on people and their relationships. Usually, works of science fiction (sci-fi) are set in the near or distant future, and unlike fantasy, sci-fi tends to stay away from the supernatural and the magical.
    Part of Popular Culture
    Many scholars of the genre believe that the first piece of recorded fiction - the Epic of Gilgamesh - was also the first work of science fiction. Others believe that sci-fi became a legitimate genre of fiction during the late 16th and 17th century with the emergence of modern science. Today, science fiction is a well-read genre of literature and a huge part of popular culture also in movies and TV-series.
    Father of Modern-Day Science Fiction
    Isaac Asimov is considered to be one of the fathers of modern-day science fiction. A prolific writer, he is thought to have edited and written about 500 books and hundreds of short stories. Considered to be one of the most influential science fiction writers of all times, Asimov is credited with coining the word robotics and for introducing the Three Laws of Robotics. While he grew up in the United States, Asimov was born in Russia sometime between October and January 1920. He officially celebrated his birthday on January 2.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read your favorite science fiction authors, watch science fiction movies and hold science fiction themed parties. Attend a short story and book reading that bookstores and libraries hold to showcase the works of classic and new science fiction authors. Encourage young readers in your life to pick up a science fiction book or short story to read. Did You Know…
    …that Asimov had a fear of flying? According to some sources, he flew on an airplane only twice in his life. In addition to being aviophobic, he was a claustrophiliac - he loved to be in enclosed places.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Six Dumb Questions Real Lawyers Asked In Court
    “How many times have you committed suicide?” “Were you alone or by yourself?” “Was it you or your brother who was killed?” “Without saying anything, tell the jury what you did next.” “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?” “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”     ***
     
    If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

    Attorney: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
    Witness: "By death."
    Attorney: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
    Witness: "Guess."

    Attorney: "Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
    Witness: "All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight."
     
    ***
     
    Justice isn't just blind—it's snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes:

    Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie?
    Witness: Yes. I would go to hell.
    Judge: Is that all?
    Witness: Isn't that enough?

    Q: Isn't it a fact that you have been running around with another woman?
    A: Yes, it is, but you can't prove it!

    Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth?
    A: A fifth of wine?
    Q: No, the Fifth Amendment.

    Q: What did your sister die of?
    A: You would have to ask her. I would be speculating if I told you.
     
    ***
     
     
    I was walking along a back road when two bunnies suddenly leapt into the air and landed one on top of the other. To my astonishment, I saw that one had pushed the other onto a stout groundhog.
    In disgust, he lifted his nose with a grunt and a distinct 
snarl, as if to say, “These rabbits nowadays! What do they teach their children?”
    After the startled and likely embarrassed bunnies scuttled away, the groundhog stayed in the same position for a few moments before waddling off, still in a huff.
    I’ll never forget that woodchuck’s shocked face!
     
     
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    (Updated)
    Queen Elizabeth II was related to Vlad the Impaler,
    making King Charles III the
    'heir to Dracula's bloodline.'
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    Happy New Year MDBCs 01 Jan 2024

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 883
    January 1st 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adalard of Corbie Basil the Great (Eastern Orthodox Church) Feast of the Circumcision of Christ Feast of the Holy Name of Jesus (Anglican Communion, Lutheran Church) Feast of Fools (Medieval Europe) Fulgentius of Ruspe Giuseppe Maria Tomasi Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, the Octave Day of Christmas, considered a holy day of obligation in some countries (Catholic Church); and its related observances: World Day of Peace Telemachus Zygmunt Gorazdowski January 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Handsel Monday can fall, while January 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday of the year (Scotland) Second day of Hogmanay (Scotland) December 31-January 1, in some cases until January 2. The last day of Kwanzaa (African-Americans) The eighth of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity) Constitution Day (Italy) Dissolution of Czechoslovakia-related observances: Day of the Establishment of the Slovak Republic (Slovakia) Restoration Day of the Independent Czech State (Czech Republic) Emancipation Day (United States) Euro Day (European Union) Flag Day (Lithuania) commemorates raising of the Lithuanian flag on Gediminas' Tower in 1919 Founding Day (Taiwan) commemorates the establishment of the Provisional Government in Nanjing Global Family Day Independence Day (Brunei, Cameroon, Haiti, Sudan) International Nepali Dhoti and Nepali Topi Day Jump-up Day (Montserrat) Kalpataru Day (Ramakrishna Movement) Kamakura Ebisu, January 1–3 (Kamakura, Kanagawa, Japan) National Bloody Mary Day (United States) National Tree Planting Day (Tanzania) New Year's Day (Gregorian calendar) Japanese New Year Novy God Day (Russia) Sjoogwachi (Okinawa Islands) Public Domain Day (multiple countries) Triumph of the Revolution (Cuba)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, week or Month for details)
    Apple Gifting Day
    Bonza Bottler Day
    Commitment Day
    Copyright Law Day
    Ellis Island Day
    First-Foot Day
    Mummer's Parade
    National Hangover Day
    National Shepherd Day
    National Thank God Its Monday Day
    New Year’s Dishonor List Day
    Ring a Bell Day
    Tournament of Roses Parade - 1
    Rose Bowl Game - 2
    Universal Hour of Peace
    Z Day
    Weigh-In Day
     
    Poppy’s Birthday
    Morris Chestnut’s Birthday
    George Washington Carver’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Jan 1st, 2024 - Fri Jan 5th, 2024
    World Series of Beer Pong
    Mon Jan 1st, 2024 - Sun Jan 7th, 2024
    Celebration of Life Week
    Diet Resolution Week
    National Time Consciousness Week
    New Year’s Resolutions Week
    Silent Record Week
     
    Observances (click on the month for details)
    Adopt a Rescued Bird Month
    Apple and Apricot Month
    Artichoke and Asparagus Month
    Be Kind To Food Servers Month
    Bread Machine Baking Month
    California Dried Plum Digestive Month
    Celebration Of Life Month
    Cervical Health Awareness Month
    Children Impacted by Parent's Cancer Month
    Clap 4 Health Month
    Dry January
    Family Fit Lifestyle Month
    Financial Wellness Month
    Get A Balanced Life Month
    Get Ireland Active
    Get Organized Month
    Ginuary
    International Brain Teaser Month
    International Change Your Stars Month
    International Child-Centered Divorce Month
    International Creativity Month
    International Quality of Life Month
    International Wayfinding Month
    International Wealth Mentality Month
    Learn to Ski and Snowboard Month
    Little Things Mental Health Campaign
    Manuary
    March of Dimes Birth Defects Prevention Month
    National Bath Safety Month
    National Be On-Purpose Month
    National Birth Defects Prevention Month
    National Black Diamond Month
    National Blood Donor Month
    National Book Blitz Month
    National Braille Literacy Month
    National CBD Month
    National Clean Up Your Computer Month
    National Codependency Awareness Month
    National Conscience Month
    National Eye Care Month
    National Fiber Focus Month
    National Glaucoma Awareness Month
    National Hobby Month
    National Hot Tea Month
    National Mail Order Gardening Month
    National Meat Month
    National Mentoring Month
    National Menudo Month
    National Oatmeal Month
    National Personal Trainer Awareness Month
    National Polka Month
    National Pre-Pregnancy Awareness Month
    National Radon Action Month
    National Skating Month
    National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month
    National Slow Cooking Month
    National Soup Month
    National Staying Healthy Month
    National Sunday Supper Month
    National Thank You Month
    National Train Your Dog Month
    National Volunteer Blood Donor Month
    National Wheat Bread Month
    Poverty Awareness Month
    Poverty in America Awareness Month
    Prune Breakfast Month
    Receding Gums Awareness Month
    Retail Bakers Month
    Rising Star Month
    Self-Love Month
    Shape Up US Month
    Stalking Awareness Month
    START Child Health campaign
    Teen Driving Awareness Month
    Thyroid Awareness Month
    Tubers and Dried Fruit Month
    Unchain a Dog Month
    Veganuary
    Walk Your Dog Month
      California Restaurant Month  
    Fun Observances
    Polar Bear Plunge Day
    Also known as Polar Plunge, Polar Bear Swim Day, New Year's Dive, Loony Dook
    Start off the year with an act of daredevilry. Celebrate Polar Plunge Day on January 1 by taking a dip in the cold, freezing waters of your local lake, river or pond.

    The Polar Bear Plunge, where participants jump into a cold water body, is an activity usually held in the Northern Hemisphere. It is a popular New Year’s Day tradition in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom and Netherlands. In these countries, many people organize and participate in a Polar Bear Plunge for charity.
    Too cold? Celebrate Swim a Lap Day in June instead.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you are brave enough to participate, find a pond, lake, the sea or just fill up your bath with freezing cold water and take a plunge. Support someone who is participating in a Polar Bear Plunge for charity. In the Southern Hemisphere? Then you probably want to celebrate Polar Bear Plunge Day every day until the summer is over. Did You Know…
    … that polar bears have 2 layers of fur and are insulated from the cold with 4 inches (10 cm) of blubber?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.
    “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.”
    “I know,” says the second owner.
    “How do you know?” the first demands.
    “My dog told me.”
     
    ***
     
    A woman called our airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
    “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
    The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
     
    ***
     
    I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire.
    One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?”
    My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
     
    ***
     
    A cat is making a declaration of love to his beloved.
    "I'd die for you!" he tells her.
    She looks back at him skeptically and replies,
    "Oh yeah? How many times?"
     
     
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    sandrewn
  12. sandrewn

    MDBCs 31 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 882
    December 31st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Pope Sylvester I (Catholic Church) December 31 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Solidarity Day of Azerbaijanis (Azerbaijan) New Year's Eve (International observance), and its related observances: First Night (United States) Last Day of the Year or Bisperás ng Bagong Taón, special holiday between Rizal Day and New Year's Day (Philippines) Novy God Eve (Russia) Ōmisoka (Japan) The first day of Hogmanay or "Auld Year's Night" (Scotland) The seventh of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity) The sixth and penultimate day of Kwanzaa (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Andrea Day
    National Champagne Day
    National Heroes Day (Timor-Leste)
    Restoration Day in Geneva
    World Peace Meditation Day
    No Interruptions Day
    Unlucky Day
     
    Psy’s Birthday
    Val Kilmer’s Birthday
    Nadia Parkes’s Birthday
    Natalia Pitti’s Birthday
    Joey McIntyre’s Birthday
    John Denver’s Birthday
    Henri Matisse’s Birthday
    Hunter Schafer’s Birthday
    Gabby Douglas’s Birthday
    Harvey Mills’s Birthday
    Donna Summer’s Birthday
    Donald Trump Jr.’s Birthday
    Bailey McKnight’s Birthday
    Anthony Hopkins’s Birthday
    Amber Katelyn Beale’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Make Up Your Mind Day
    Are you indecisive? Then, Make Up Your Mind Day is the unofficial holiday you should choose to close out the year with.

    The name of this unofficial holiday comes from the English language phrase make up your mind, which means to make a decision.
    The day encourages people to take charge of their lives and make decisions that they can stand by and be proud of, in the upcoming year.
    Important Quality
    Being decisive can be challenging especially in today's fast-paced, uncertainty-ridden world. People have more information and resources available to assist them in their decision-making process, but have fewer controls over the outcomes and the consequences of their choices. Despite this, decisiveness is more and more being viewed as an important quality for people to have both in their professional world and in their personal lives. Studies have shown that employees react favorably to decisive bosses and employers and co-workers tend to view indecisive people as incompetent and weak.
    Easy to Learn
    However, there is good news for the chronic overanalyzer and the lifelong second guesser - decisiveness may not come naturally to you, but you can easily learn how to make good decisions, quickly and with little anguish. Experts suggest that to be decisive, one must first become comfortable with incomplete information and embrace risk. Start with small, inconsequential decisions and work your way to life altering major decisions. Do not underestimate gut feelings, but do not rely just on them. Listen to your heart and to your brain. Break down big decisions into smaller, more manageable mini decisions and never hesitate to ask for help.
    How to Celebrate?
    By making up your mind, of course. Have a big decision to make? Don't hesitate, just do it and don't worry about what could have been. Resolve to make quick decisions and try not to regret them. For example, next time you are at a restaurant, give yourself a time limit to make your menu selection and stick to it. Struggling to be decisive? Ask a friend or a family member to be your support system. Tell them to pull you back in line every time you start waffling. Meditate over your decisions. Make a pro and con list and reason out the consequences of your decision logically. Stick to the list and once you have made your decision, do not go back on it. Did You Know…
    …that according to some studies, making high-stress decisions can tire out the brain, making it less effective for other activities?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    The Dumbest Police Calls in America
    From the police blotter, 
or, what a beat cop deals with 
every day: • A deputy responded to a report 
of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes. 
It was the mail carrier.   • A woman said her son was 
attacked by a cat, and the cat would not allow her to take her son to the hospital.   • A resident said someone had 
entered his home at night and taken five pounds of bacon. Upon further investigation, police discovered 
his wife had gotten up for a late-night snack.   • A man reported that a squirrel 
was running in circles on Davis Drive, and he wasn’t sure if it was sick or had been hit by a car. An 
officer responded, and as he drove on the street, he ran over the squirrel.  
    ***
     
    Three Dumb ER Stories You’re Allowed To Laugh At
    “Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: ‘I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people.’ ”   “Had a woman call 911 because she ‘had déjà vu in the shower and got nervous.’”   “Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.”  
    ***
     
    The Mystery Kitchen Utensil
    My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I 
use it as both. When not in use, it 
is prominently displayed in a 
decorative ceramic utensil caddy 
in my kitchen. The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at 
a rummage sale.   It’s a pooper-scooper.  
    ***
     
    A young man was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, sweating from the hot sun.
    His neighbor said, “You need to wait until the sun goes down, or plant in the morning when it is coolest.”
    The man said, “I can’t do that. It says on the package, ‘Plant in full sun!’ ”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    MDBCs 30 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 881
    December 30th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abraham the Writer Anysia of Salonika Egwin of Evesham Frances Joseph-Gaudet (Episcopal Church) Liberius of Ravenna Pope Felix I Ralph of Vaucelles Roger of Cannae December 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Declaration of Slovakia as an Independent Ecclesiastic Province (Slovakia) Rizal Day (Philippines) The fifth day of Kwanzaa (United States) The sixth of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Falling Needles Family Fest Day
    Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute
    National Bacon Day
    National Cheryl Day
    National Resolution Planning Day
     
    LeBron James’s Birthday
    Carson Wentz’s Birthday
    Kristina Alice’s Birthday
    Kylin Kalani’s Birthday
    Kim Taehyung’s Birthday
    Kristin Kreuk’s Birthday
    Joshua Hong’s Birthday
    Justin Combs’s Birthday
    Yelawolf’s Birthday
    Tiger Woods’s Birthday
    Raymond Cham Jr.’s Birthday
    Brady Noon’s Birthday
    Bandhunta Izzy’s Birthday
    Stephanie Del Valle’s Birthday
    Davy Jones’s Birthday
    Tyrese Gibson’s Birthday
    Ellie Goulding’s Birthday
    Patti Smith’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Bicarbonate of Soda Day
    December 30 is Bicarbonate Of Soda Day. Also known as baking soda, sodium bicarbonate is one of the most commonly found chemical compound in households.

    While the origins of this holiday are unknown, we can all safely assume that whoever created this holiday, not only wanted to give a shout out to one of the most used chemical compounds in the history of mankind, but also wanted to encourage people to use it more and more in their daily lives.
    Multi-Purpose Household Item
    Commonly used these days in baking, cleaning, polishing old silverware and treating heartburn, bicarbonate of soda was used by ancient Egyptians for painting.
    Known by Many Names
    The compound's scientific name is sodium hydrogen carbonate, but it is known by many other names around the world. Some of the common ones are baking soda, cooking soda and bread soda.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn about the history of the manufacturing and use of baking soda. Learn what other things you can use baking soda for. Build a baking soda and vinegar volcano at home. Did You Know…
    …that baking soda is a very versatile household product? Use it to deodorize your fridge, to clean tea and coffee stained cups and teapots, and clean household surfaces.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Because it was my brother's birthday, our mom wanted to do something special. She called his fraternity house and said she wanted to bring a cake. The young man who took the call was very excited. "Hey, Mrs. Schaeffer," he said, "that would be great!"

    The next day she drove to the fraternity and rang the doorbell. The same boy answered the door. When he saw the cake, his face fell. "Oh," he said, clearly disappointed. "I thought you said 'keg.' "
     
    ***
     
    Forget about the past, you can't change it.
    Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
    Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
     
    ***
     
    Here’s the news: A Rhode Island man was arrested for passing a counterfeit $100 bill. What gave him away? Lincoln’s face: It’s supposed to be on the $5 bill.
    Here’s the laugh: A counterfeiter drives to a small town, enters a store, and hands the rube behind the counter an $18 bill. “Mind making change?” he asks. “Sure,” says the clerk. “Ya want two nines or three sixes?”
     
    ***
     
    This man was really lonely, so he posted an ad on a popular website.
    The ad said, simply: "Wife wanted."
    He was surprised the next morning to find he had over a hundred replies in his inbox. Unfortunately, they all said the same thing:
    "You can have mine."
     
     
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    sandrewn
  14. sandrewn

    MDBCs 28 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 879
    December 28th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abel (Coptic Church) Caterina Volpicelli Feast of the Holy Innocents or Childermas; in Spain and Latin American countries the festival is celebrated with pranks (inocentadas), similar to April Fools' Day (Catholic Church, Church of England, Lutheran Church), and its related observances: Els Enfarinats (Ibi, Spain) Simon the Athonite December 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) King Taksin Memorial Day (Thailand) Proclamation Day (South Australia), celebration started on the day following Christmas (South Australia) Republic Day (South Sudan) The fourth of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Call a Friend Day
    National Chocolate Candy Day
    National Download Day
    National Short Film Day
    National Tim Day
    Pledge of Allegiance Day
     
    Maggie Smith’s Birthday
    London Goheen’s Birthday
    John Legend’s Birthday
    Joe Manganiello’s Birthday
    Gayle King’s Birthday
    Eric Griffin’s Birthday
    Woodrow Wilson’s Birthday
    Dolores Catania’s Birthday
    Ratan Tata’s Birthday
    Posie Rayne LaBrant’s Birthday
    Nash Grier’s Birthday
    Malcolm Gets’s Birthday
    Maya Boyce’s Birthday
    Big 30’s Birthday
    Nichelle Nichols’s Birthday
    Danny Edge’s Birthday
    Quackity’s Birthday
    David Archuleta’s Birthday
    Stan Lee’s Birthday
    Denzel Washington’s Birthday
    Emery Kelly’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Card Playing Day
    Tired of all the holiday activities? Need a break before the New Year fun begins? Get your family and friends together for a quiet and fun night in on Card Playing Day.

    Held annually on December 28, the day celebrates card games and aims to bring together family and friends after a busy holiday season.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn a new card game. Host a card game night. Keep it simple, get take-out or pop a few frozen pizzas in the oven and get playing. Did You Know…
    …that the earliest known records of playing cards exist from the 9th century during the Tang Dynasty in China?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Every morning I think I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.
    ***
    A man told a friend about taking his wife to dinner for their anniversary. He described how the food was made in front of them.
    The friend said, “I’ve heard of places like that, what is the name of the restaurant?”
    The man replied, “Subway.”
    ***
    My granddaughter told me, 
 “Don’t buy brown eggs; they’re not ripe yet.”
    ***
    We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing.
    Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.”
    With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!”
    Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip.
    ***
    At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. If you think you qualify, raise your hand.”
    Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest.
    “Congratulations! You are the winner,” says the emcee to the man. “Your prize is this $100 bill!”
    Still showing no emotion, the man replies, “Would you mind coming over here and putting it in my pocket?”
    ***
     
    My boss yelled at me the other day,
    “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
    I said,
    "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
     
     
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    The Magic Schoolbus  
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    MDBCs 29 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 880
    December 29th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Ebrulf Jonathan, Prince of Israel and David's friend. Thomas Becket Trophimus of Arles December 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Ireland) Independence Day (Mongolia) The fifth day of Christmas (Western Christianity) The fourth day of Kwanzaa (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    International Cello Day
    National Paula Day
    National Ha Day
    Still Need To Do Day
    Tick Tock Day
    Falls Festival History
     
    Ross Lynch’s Birthday
    Pardison Fontaine’s Birthday
    Pimp C’s Birthday
    Minatozaki Sana’s Birthday
    Mary Tyler Moore’s Birthday
    Jude Law’s Birthday
    Ted Danson’s Birthday
    Davina Potratz’s Birthday
    Candace Rice’s Birthday
    Jon Voight
     
    Fun Observances
    Pepper Pot Day
    December 29 is Pepper Pot Day, an unofficial holiday that honors the stew famously associated with George Washington's army during the American Revolution.

    Made of tripe, vegetables and pepper, pepper pot soup, also sometimes known as Philadelphia pepper pot, has for long been the subject of many American revolution legends. Rumor has it that the soup was responsible for helping George Washington's army win the American Revolution. During the war, many farmers chose to sell food to the British. This created a shortage of food for the Continental Army. The cooks in the army cooked whatever they could find their hand on in a stew and saved the day by feeding soldiers pepper pot.
    Different Versions
    Versions of the stew can be found in Guyana and other Caribbean countries, where it is reserved for special ocassions like weddings and holidays. The Caribbean version of the stew does not use tripe, and has hot peppers as one its main ingredients.
    It is thought that the Philadelphia pepper pot may have been inspired in many ways by the cuisine of Caribbean slaves and immigrants in America.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make a big pot of pepper pot stew at home and invite your friends and family to enjoy it with you. Did You Know…
    … that tripe usually comes from 3 of the 4 chambers of a cow's stomach?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    On a fishing trip to a remote lake in Northern Quebec, I asked the outfitter, “Do you stay here during the winter?”
    “No,” he said. “The snow gets too deep. We can’t get supplies in. Like many Canadians, I go south for the winter.”
    “Oh,” I said. “Where do you go?”
    “Vermont.”
     
    ***
     
    Concerned about what will happen to cities if the polar ice caps melt? Don't be. New names have already been chosen.

    Atlantis City, New Jersey

    Pariscope, France

    Sail 'Em, Massachusetts

    Floodelphia, Pennsylvania

    Helsunki, Finland

    Sao Marco ... Paulo, Brazil
     
    ***
     
    According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we'll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.
     
    ***
     
    If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...
    You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
     
     
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    MDBCs 27 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 878
    December 27th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Francesco Spoto Blessed Sára Salkaházi Fabiola John the Apostle Pope Maximus of Alexandria Nicarete Theodorus and Theophanes December 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (North Korea) Emergency Rescuer's Day (Russia) St. Stephen's Day (Eastern Orthodox Church; a public holiday in Romania) The third of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Abigail Day
    Anniversary of Benazir Bhutto's Death
    Case Day
    International Day of Epidemic Preparedness
    National Fruitcake Day
    National Make Cut-Out Snowflakes Day
    National Martha Day
    National Samuel Day
    Visit the Zoo Day
    National Leftovers Day
     
    Nick Chubb’s Birthday
    Salman Khan’s Birthday
    Kamri Noel McKnight’s Birthday
    Louis Pasteur’s Birthday
    Heather O'Rourke’s Birthday
    Isela Sule’s Birthday
    Hayley Williams’s Birthday
    Dustin Bates’s Birthday
    Carson Palmer’s Birthday
    Savannah Guthrie’s Birthday
    Timothée Chalamet’s Birthday
    Amberlynn Reid’s Birthday
    Bill Goldberg’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    No Interruptions Day
    Put up a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door and ban all interruptions on December 27 because it is No Interruptions Day.

    Holiday season tire you out? Ready to recharge your batteries before the New Year? While the creator of this unofficial holiday is unknown, it is very clear that they intended to create this holiday as a way to encourage people to take some time off for themselves and get ready for New Year's Eve festivities and the New Year.
    Disconnect
    In a world where there are plenty of distractions both at work and at home, it is sometimes important to disconnect and concentrate on the tasks at hand. These tasks could be as mundane as catching up on sleep, getting some me-time at the spa, or as important as putting some time in strengthening your relationships with family and friends, or finishing up work and projects for the year.
    The High Cost of Interruption
    Interruptions at the workplace are one of the biggest causes of lowered productivity and high costs. A study done by Dr. Gloria Mark at the University of California, found that on average people are interrupted about 20 times in an hour at work. Such interruptions can be in the form of phone calls, emails, co-workers stopping by to chat, and new tasks being handed off the worker. In addition to reducing productivity, interruptions in the workplace can cause higher stress levels and general dissatisfaction with work. In many workplaces such as in the airline or health industry distractions can have catastrophic consequences.
    The holiday is sometimes celebrated on December 31.
    How to Celebrate?
    Switch off your phones, disconnect your internet and do something you really enjoy doing – knit a scarf, read a book or work on your car, all without any interruptions. If you have been distracted at work, take this day to try and increase your productivity. Inform your colleagues that you will be working all day and would appreciate that you be bothered only in case of an emergency. Unplug your office phone, set an out of the office response to emails and concentrate on finishing up your tasks. Sometimes life's daily interruptions can affect our relationships with friends and family. Take this day to concentrate on your closest relationships. Do something special with your loved ones - go for a hike or a picnic and leave the phone behind. Spend quality time with your friends and let them know that your uninterrupted time is theirs today. Did You Know...
    ...that there is an academic field called interruption science that studies the effects of distractions on productivity?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church.
    The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.
    The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town. But three days later, the squirrels climbed back in.
    Only the church came up with an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them members.
    Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.
     
    ***
     
    Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
    “Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
    “But Larry’s still alive.”
    “I know, but his hair is gone.”
     
    ***
     
    Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:

    BFF: Best Friend Fainted
    BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
    CBM: Covered by Medicare
    FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers
    LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
    GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
     
    ***
     
    AN OLDER WOMAN runs into her friend at the mall. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out.
    He explained that genies don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever.”
    “Tough choice,” said her friend. “Which one did you choose?”
    “That’s the thing. I can’t remember.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    MDBCs 26 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 877
    December 26th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Boxing Day, except when December 26 is a Sunday. If it is a Sunday, Boxing Day is transferred to December 27 by Royal Proclamation. (Commonwealth of Nations), and its related observances: Day of Good Will (South Africa and Namibia) Family Day (Vanuatu) Thanksgiving (Solomon Islands) Christian feast day: Abadiu of Antinoe (Coptic Church) Earliest day on which Feast of the Holy Family can fall, celebrated on Sunday after Christmas or 30 if Christmas falls on a Sunday. James the Just (Eastern Orthodox Church) Stephen (Western Church) Synaxis of the Theotokos (Eastern Orthodox Church) December 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence and Unity Day (Slovenia) Mauro Hamza Day (Houston, Texas) Mummer's Day (Padstow, Cornwall) St. Stephen's Day (public holiday in Alsace, Austria, Catalonia, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Germany, Hong Kong, Italy, Ireland, Luxembourg, Poland, Slovakia and Switzerland), and its related observances: Father's Day (Bulgaria) The first day of Kwanzaa, celebrated until January 1 (United States) The first day of Junkanoo street parade, the second day is on the New Year's Day (The Bahamas) The second day of the Twelve Days of Christmas (Western Christianity) Second day of Christmas (Public holiday in the Netherlands, Poland and Slovakia) Veer Baal Divas, is observed to pay tribute to martyr sons of Guru Gobind Singh ji. Wren Day (Ireland and the Isle of Man)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Candy Cane Day
    National Homeowners Day
    National Whiners Day
     
    Natalie Nunn’s Birthday
    Mao Tse Tung’s Birthday
    Kit Harington’s Birthday
    Lars Ulrich’s Birthday
    Jade Thirlwall’s Birthday
    David Rose’s Birthday
    Chris Daughtry’s Birthday
    Barry Wood’s Birthday
    Andy Biersack’s Birthday
    Luke Gulbranson’s Birthday
    Jared Leto
     
    Fun Observances
    Thank You Note Day
    On December 26, take out your best stationary and write thank you notes to everyone you need to thank because it is Write a Thank You Note Day.

    ‘Tis the season to exchange gifts. It is also the season to be grateful and thankful. So sit with a cup of hot chocolate and left overs from your Christmas dinner and say thank you.
    Hand-written, Text or Email
    Thank you notes are very simply notes and letters of appreciation and gratitude. Thank you notes are traditionally hand-written, though in recent years it is acceptable to send a thank you note through email or by text.
    Thank you notes are usually sent in a variety of professional and social situations such as after a job interview or after receiving a wedding or a birthday gift.
    How to Celebrate?
    Hand write thank you notes. Be sincere and write from the heart. The recipients will appreciate having their efforts acknowledged. If you can, why not add a small handmade gift for some of your recipients to thank them for their thoughtfulness? If you don’t have the time, an email thank you note is better than sending no such note. Did You Know...
    ...that the term thank is thought to come from the Old English word, þoncian meaning to reward?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled,
    “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely.
    “Once a week?” A third of 
the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant.
    “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up.
    Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?” One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory.
    “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?”
    The man yells, “Today’s the day!”
     
    ***
     
    When my coworker answered his phone, the confused woman on the other end asked, “Who is this?”
    “This is Steve. With whom did you wish to speak?”
    After a pause: “Did you just say whom?”
    “Yes, I did.”
    The woman replied, “I have the wrong number,” and hung up.
     
    ***
     
    A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:
    Customer: Yoooo I ordered a Pizza 
& Came with no Toppings on it or anything, Its Just Bread
    Domino’s: We’re sorry to hear about this!
    Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down
     
    ***
     
    My friend called me in hysterics.
    “I just saw a mouse in my kitchen!” she yelled. “I’m so grossed out! It’s 
so disgusting!”
    “What are you going to do?” 
I asked.
    “I’m not sure. But you can bet I’ll never eat the stuff I drop on the floor anymore.”
     
    ***
     
    A man boards a plane and is seated next to an Air Marshall and his ‘sniffing dog’.  Soon, the plane takes off and the Marshall says, “Sniffer, search.” The dog walks along the aisle, and stops next to a woman. He then returns to his seat and puts a paw on the Marshall’s arm.
    “Good boy,” says the Marshall.
    “What happened?” asks the man.
    “That woman is in possession of marijuana. We’ll arrest her when we land.”
    Once again, Sniffer searches the aisles. He stops beside a man, then returns to his seat, and places two paws on the Marshall’s arm. 
    “That man is carrying cocaine,” the Marshall explains.
    The dog walks up the aisle again, then races back, jumps into his seat, and poops all over it.
    “What’s going on?!” demands the man.
    The Marshall nervously replies, “He just found a bomb!”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  18. sandrewn

    MDBCs 25 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 876
    December 25th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Equatorial Guinea, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Gabon, Republic of Congo) Christian feast day: Anastasia of Sirmium (Catholic Church) Stephen (Armenian Apostolic Church) December 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christmas Day, Christian festival commemorating the birth of Jesus. (Internationally observed) Tulsi Pujan Diwas (India) Constitution Day (Taiwan) Good Governance Day (India) Quaid-e-Azam's Day (Pakistan) Takanakuy (Chumbivilcas Province, Peru)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    GOAL Mile 2021
    National Colby Day
    National Eva Day
    National Joshua Day
    National Pumpkin Pie Day
    Mari Lwyd
     
    Rusev’s Birthday
    Rod Serling’s Birthday
    Miku’s Birthday
    Lukas Nelson’s Birthday
    Keith Ape’s Birthday
    Justin Trudeau’s Birthday
    Jimmy Buffett’s Birthday
    Humphrey Bogart’s Birthday
    Bobbie-Jo’s Birthday
    Ashley Nichole’s Birthday
    Armin van Buuren’s Birthday
    Annie Lennox’s Birthday
    Taylor Zakhar Perez’s Birthday
    Clara Barton’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Grav Mass Day
    Grav-Mass Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated annually on December 25, the birth anniversary of English physicist and mathematician Isaac Newton.

    A play on Christmas, the holiday is a celebration of science and reason. It is also considered to be a secular alternative to the Christian holiday.
    Grav-Mass refers to the Gravitational Constant and Mass, two key components of Newton’s law of universal gravitation.
    Science Fiction Origins
    The holiday was the brainchild of computer programmer and Internet rights activist, Richard Matthew Stallman. He was however, not the first one to use the term grav-mass, also sometimes spelled as gravmass or gravmas. It is believed that it was first used in a short story called Merry Gravmas by science fiction writer, James Hogan.
    Newtonmas
    A similar holiday called Newtonmas is also celebrated on December 25. Rumor has it that Newtonmas was first celebrated in 1890, 248 years after Newton's birth, by the members of Newton Association. These fans of Newton met for the first time at Imperial College and spent Christmas Day exchanging their ideas and thoughts about Newton's works and theories.
    Sir Isaac Newton is one of the most significant scientists of all times. He was responsible for formulating the laws of motion and gravity, and along with Gottfried Leibniz, he is credited for inventing the field of calculus. In addition, Newton worked extensively in the fields of optics and alchemy.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the life and times of Isaac Newton by sharing scientific ideas and discoveries with each other. Stallman, the inventor of the holiday, recommends decorating one’s Christmas tree with apples – the fruit that Newton credited for giving him the idea about gravitation. Make science and physics related parodies of Christmas carols and sing them. Greet people by saying "Merry Grav-Mass to you", and respond by saying "may the Force be proportional to your acceleration". These greetings come from Hogan’s short story. Send Grav-Mass Day greeting cards that say "Reasons Greetings to you". Did You Know…
    …that technically we should be celebrating Newton's birthday on January 4? This is because when he was born on December 25, 1642, the Julian Calendar was still in effect in England. This date converts to January 4, 1643 in the Gregorian calendar.
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    A'phabet Day or No "L" Day
    December 25 is A'phabet Day or No "L" Day, a day to skip the ‘L’ in all your correspondences and communications - written or otherwise.

    The origins and purpose of this very obvious’y made-up ho’iday are unknown.
    L is the twelfth letter in the English alphabet and the ninth consonant. A consonant is a speech sound that is created by the complete or partial constriction of the vocal organs. There are 21 consonant sounds in the English language.
    December 25 is also celebrated by many people around the world as Christmas Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating A'phabet Day or No "L" Day will be a challenge. But don't worry. We have you covered! Here are some easy ways to ce’ebrate this very quirky ho’iday.
    Avoid the use of ‘L’ in everything you write and say today. Ban the use of any object that begin with the letter 'L' in your house and in your workplace. This holiday is also a great excuse to learn more about orthography. Orthography is the study of the rules of writing a language. Did You Know...
    …that the often cited Cambridge study that spelling doesn’t impede comprehension is true? According to new studies it doesn’t matter in what order letters in a word are as long as the first two letters are at the right place.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Our company gives out Thanksgiving turkeys to retired employees. All they have to do is stop by the plant to pick them up.
    A few days before the holiday, a retiree called to ask, “What time do the turkeys get in?”
    The receptionist, without thinking, responded, “Everyone starts at eight.”
     
    ***
     
    Two old friends, Ned and John, lived for baseball. Then one day, John died, leaving Ned inconsolable. A few weeks later, Ned heard someone calling his name. He looked up. Standing on a cloud was his old pal.
    “Ned,” John called down, “I have good news and bad. The good news is, there’s baseball in heaven!”
    “Great,” said Ned. “What’s the bad news?”
    “You’re pitching Sunday.”
     
    ***
     
    My sister Jordan was helping my 21/2-year-old niece Berea put on her sweatshirt when Berea’s head got stuck on the neck hole.
    Berea started panicking and saying, “I can’t see! I can’t see!” The shirt quickly slipped over her head, and the panic was gone until her arms got stuck 
on the tight cuffs.
    The panic returned, and she started crying again. “My fingers can’t see! My fingers can’t see!” she said.
    It was all we could do not to laugh as Jordan quickly pulled Berea’s arms through the cuffs.
     
    ***
     
    Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?
    A: Forget it once!
     
    ***
     
    A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?”
    The dog points to steak in a glass case.
    “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice.
    “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times.
    So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops, and places the bag in the dog’s mouth. He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck, and sees him out.
    A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in.
    As the owner appears at the door, the customer says, “What a remarkable dog!”
    “Remarkable?” snorts the owner.
    “This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  19. sandrewn

    MDBCs 24 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 875
    December 24th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adela and Irmina Paola Elisabetta Cerioli Adam and Eve December 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christmas Eve (Christianity) and its related observances: Aðfangadagskvöld, the day when the 13th and the last Yule Lad arrives to towns. (Iceland) Feast of the Seven Fishes (Italian Americans) Juleaften (Denmark)/Julaften (Norway)/Julafton (Sweden) Nittel Nacht (certain Orthodox Jewish denominations) Nochebuena (Spain and Spanish-speaking countries) The Declaration of Christmas Peace (Old Great Square of Turku, Finland's official Christmas City) Wigilia (Poland) Quviasukvik, the Inuit new year (Alaska, Canada, Greenland and Russia) Kūčios (Lithuania) Independence Day (Libya) Day of Military Honour – Siege of Ismail (Russia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Last-Minute Shopper's Day
    National Consumer Rights Day
     
    Ricky Martin’s Birthday
    Ryan Seacrest’s Birthday
    Louis Tomlinson’s Birthday
    Mads Lewis’s Birthday
    Kate Spade’s Birthday
    Lemmy Kilmister’s Birthday
    Hailey Orona’s Birthday
    Howard Hughes’s Birthday
    Diego Martir’s Birthday
    Carol Maraj’s Birthday
    Ava Gardner’s Birthday
    Stephenie Meyer’s Birthday
    Tiana Wilson’s Birthday
    Anil Kapoor’s Birthday
    Anthony Fauci’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Eggnog Day
    December 24 is Eggnog Day, a day to celebrate, and drink a delicious cocktail of eggs, milk, cream, sugar and spices.

    Originating in England, the drink has now become associated with Thanksgiving in the United States and Christmas time in many parts of the world.
    Alcoholic Beverage
    Traditionally, some kind of alcohol is added to eggnog, though non-alcoholic recipes also exist. In the United States, bourbon or whiskey is the spirit of choice, while in the United Kingdom, sherry or brandy is usually added to the beverage.
    Eggnog Riot
    While eggnog has occupied an important place during holiday social gatherings in many parts of the world, excess consumption of the drink has led to chaos in at least one particular situation. In 1826, during a Christmas party at the United States Military Academy in West Point, New York drunk cadets got involved in a brawl after drinking large amounts of eggnog. The event is popularly remembered as the Eggnog Riot.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make eggnog and share with friends and family. Make an adult version of the beverage by adding alcohol to it. Did You Know…
    …that according to some, the name eggnog comes from the Middle English word noggin? The word refers to a wooden mug used to serve alcohol.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q: Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?
    A: Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more,
    he brought some extra doe.
    ***
    My dog was my soul mate;
    we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum...
    ***
    Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan 
of the expression “The worst day 
of fishing is better than the 
best day at work.”
    “I’ve watched The Deadliest 
Catch on Discovery,” 
he said.
    “I’ve never once 
been at work, capsized in 
40-degree water, watched all my coworkers die, and been like, ‘Hey, at least we’re fishin’.’”
    ***
    I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and—I can't remember what the third thing is.
    ***
    "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."
    ***
    "At my age flowers scare me."
    -- George Burns
     
    ***
     
    Girl on skates. The ice was thin. Then it broke and she fell right in. Boy on bank heard her shout. Jumped right in and helped her out.
    Now they’re married. Very nice.
    But first she had to break the ice.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    MDBCs 23 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 874
    December 23rd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of the Queen Silvia, an official flag flying day (Sweden) Children's Day (South Sudan and Sudan) Christian Feast Day: Abassad (Coptic Church) Behnam, Sarah, and the Forty Martyrs (Coptic Church) Dagobert II John Cantius O Emmanuel Psote (Coptic Church) Thorlac Thorhallsson, patron saint of Iceland; The last day of preparations before Christmas. Victoria December 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of all level operational control structures servicemen (Ukraine) HumanLight (Secular humanism in United States) Kisan Diwas (Uttar Pradesh, India) Night of the Radishes (Oaxaca City, Mexico) Tibb's Eve (Newfoundland and Labrador) Tom Bawcock's Eve (Mousehole, Cornwall) Victory Day (Egypt)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Birthday of Emperor Akihito
    National Christmas Movie Marathon Day
    National Forest Day
    National Laura Day
    National Nicole Day
    National Pfeffernusse Day
    National Roots Day
     
    Madam C.J. Walker’s Birthday
    Joseph Smith’s Birthday
    Kenny Screven’s Birthday
    Jeffy Jey’s Birthday
    Johnny Utah’s Birthday
    Finn Wolfhard’s Birthday
    Holly Madison’s Birthday
    Eddie Vedder’s Birthday
    Elena CupcakeSurpriseToys’s Birthday
    Danielle Busby’s Birthday
    Corey Haim’s Birthday
    Connor Darlington’s Birthday
    Belly Dancing Boy’s Birthday
    Amy Rose’s Birthday
    Saylor Waldrop’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Festivus Day
    Festivus is a made up secular holiday popularized and celebrated by the fans of the TV series, Seinfeld.

    Celebrated on December 23, the holiday was created by writer DanO’Keefe who introduced it in a Seinfeld episode called The Strike.
    Made-up Holiday
    In the episode, first aired in December 1997, the holiday is conceived by the father of George Costanza one of the show's central characters. In the episode, Frank Costanza reveals that he came up with Festivus as a response to the commercialization of Christmas.
    According to reports, Festivus was initially created in February 1966 by Dan O’Keefe’s father, who made up this holiday to celebrate an anniversary with his wife.
    Since the airing of the first Seinfeld episode featuring Festivus, the holiday has become popular among the fans of the show.
    Popular TV Show
    Seinfeld is a popular American sitcom that follows the lives of four friends who live in New York City. The show ran for 9 seasons between 1989 and 1998.
    How to Celebrate?
    Host a Festivus party in accordance with the traditions set by the episode. According to Festivus tradition, the Festivus meal is accompanied with the airing of grievances, where every guest tells every other guest how they have disappointed them over the year. So tell all your guests how disappointed you are in them. Follow the meal with feats of strength, where the head of the household wrestles with other guests, and the feats end only when the head is pinned to the ground. Greet people by saying “Happy Festivus” or “a Festivus for the rest of us”. Did You Know…
    …that an unadorned aluminum pole is generally considered as the symbol of Festivus?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece to a weekend festival. When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank top with spaghetti straps. A debate began immediately about appropriate dress.
    I took the girl's side, recalling that when we began dating, I dressed the same way.
    "Yes," said my boyfriend sternly, "and I said something about it, didn't I?"
    Everyone looked at me. "Yeah," I replied. "You said, 'What's your phone number?'"  
     
    ***
     
    During a conference, I was pleasantly surprised to be seated next to a very handsome man. We flirted casually through dinner, then grew restless as the dignitaries gave speeches. During one particularly long-winded lecture, my new friend drew a # sign on a cocktail napkin. Elated, I wrote down my phone number. Looking startled for a moment, he drew another # sign, this time adding an X to the upper-left-hand corner.     ***
     
    Wife: "How would you describe me?"
    Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
    Wife: "What does that mean?"
    Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
    Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
    Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
     
    ***
     
    When weeding your garden, there’s an easy way to tell the difference between a weed and a vegetable or flower.
    Pull on it, and if it doesn’t come up, it’s a weed.
    But if it comes out easily, it’s not.
     
     
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    I forgot to turn off automatic shipments on Amazon.
      ***
     

     
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    sandrewn
  21. sandrewn

    MDBCs 22 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 873
    December 22nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Dongzhi Festival Armed Forces Day (Vietnam) Christian feast day: Anastasia of Sirmium (Orthodox Church) Eimhin Ernan, Son of Eogan Frances Xavier Cabrini (outside US) Hunger O Rex Henry Budd (Episcopal Church (USA)) Lottie Moon (Episcopal Church (USA)) December 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Mother's Day (Indonesia) National Mathematics Day (India) Teachers' Day (Cuba) Unity Day (Zimbabwe)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Forefathers’ Day
    National Ashton Day
    National Betty Day
    National Cookie Exchange Day
    National Short Person Day
    National Flashlight Day
     
    Hennessy Carolina’s Birthday
    Guru Gobind Singh’s Birthday
    G Hannelius’s Birthday
    Denzel Dion’s Birthday
    Tanner Fox’s Birthday
    Nate Garner’s Birthday
    Moonbyul’s Birthday
    Meghan Trainor’s Birthday
    Luther Campbell’s Birthday
    Hobo Johnson’s Birthday
    Jean-Michel Basquiat’s Birthday
    Alexandria Everett’s Birthday
    Latto’s Birthday
    Bershan Shaw’s Birthday
    Madison Kennedy’s Birthday
    Big Tigger’s Birthday
    Mike Chen’s Birthday
    Bryce Gheisar’s Birthday
    Natalie Guercio’s Birthday
    Chris Hughes’s Birthday
    Srinivasa Ramanujan’s Birthday
    DaBaby’s Birthday
    Jordin Sparks’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Date Nut Bread Day
    On December 22 add date nut bread to your holiday baking list because it is Date Nut Bread Day.

    Made with different kinds of nuts like walnuts and pecans and dates that give it its distinct sweet flavor, date nut bread is thought to have been first baked in England.
    Ancient Fruit
    Grown in many parts of the world, dates are the fruit of the date palm. Food historians believe that the date palm was first cultivated for its fruit in the Middle East around 6000 BC. Farmers classify dates based on their texture and the sugar content into 3 types. These are soft, dry and semi-dry dates.
    Date Nut Bread Day is an unofficial holiday which is also known as National Date Nut Bread Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Bake date nut bread and share with family, friends and coworkers. Remind them that it is a healthy treat. What about making little muffins instead of making a loaf of the bread? Experiment with the flavors of your date nut bread. What about adding strawberries to it? Or chocolate chips? Make a banana date nut bread or an orange date nut bread instead. Serve toasted slices of the bread with a pat of butter. Did You Know…
    …that contrary to popular belief, a peanut is not a nut, but is part of the legume family?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My 90-year-old dad was giving 
a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, “How did you know the war was over?”
    He replied, “When they stopped shooting at me.”
     
    ***
     
    Wandering inside a pet store, 
I stopped in front of a birdcage to 
admire a parakeet.
    We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, “Can’t you talk?”
     
    ***
     
    My son and I were checking out 
a house he was interested in buying. When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Larry? 
I know you. We went to school 
together. I’m Elaine. Don’t you 
recognize me?”
    I drew a complete blank. She took out our old yearbook and showed me her graduation picture—still nothing. “Let’s look at your 
picture,” she said.
    She flipped the pages until she came to me. Under my photo I 
had written, “Elaine, I will never 
forget you.”
     
    ***
     
    Shortly after we moved to rural South Carolina, we found out Clemson Ag Extension was selling all sorts of berry and fruit trees at great rates. We needed quite a few things because the property we bought was cleared cow pasture and, besides a huge pecan tree, had no other trees on it.
    So I ordered blueberry and blackberry bushes and apple, peach and pear trees. When it came time to pick up the order, my friend called to ask if I could pick hers up, too. I told her we’d better take two trucks. When I got to the extension office I was shocked to find the pickup area empty except for some little bundles of twigs tied with string.
    I asked where my order was and the attendant led me to one of those bundles. They were bare root cuttings, which take up very little space. 
I could lift mine in one hand. I mentioned to the attendant that I felt silly bringing a truck to pick up the order.
    It was then that I noticed a man behind me. He ruefully stated, “Don’t feel bad; I brought a trailer.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    MDBCs 21 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 872
    December 21st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Philippines) Christian feast day: O Oriens Peter Canisius Thomas the Apostle (Anglicanism) December 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest usual date for the winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and the summer solstice in the Southern Hemisphere, and its related observances: Blue Christmas (some modern American liberal Protestant groups) Dongzhi Festival (Asia) Sanghamitta Day (Theravada Buddhism) Yule in the Northern Hemisphere (Neopagan Wheel of the Year) Ziemassvētki (ancient Latvia) Forefathers' Day (Plymouth, Massachusetts) São Tomé Day (São Tomé and Príncipe) The first day of Pancha Ganapati, celebrated until December 25 (Saiva Siddhanta Church) Gravy Day (Australia), celebrated in honour of the song How to Make Gravy by Paul Kelly  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Anne and Samantha Day
    Don’t Make Your Bed Day
    Humbug Day
    Look On The Bright Side Day
    National Armagnac Day
    National Coquito Day
    National Crossword Puzzle Day
    National French Fried Shrimp Day
    National Homeless Persons’ Remembrance Day
    National Lee Day
    National Maine Day
    Phileas Fogg Win a Wager Day
    Short Girl Appreciation Day
    World Snowboard Day
    Winter Solstice
    Ribbon Candy Day
    National Re-Gifting Day
    International Energy Drink Day
     
    Mike Vitar’s Birthday
    Mario Selman’s Birthday
    Mickey Singh’s Birthday
    Jinger Duggar’s Birthday
    Kiefer Sutherland’s Birthday
    Jessie James Combs’s Birthday
    Jane Fonda’s Birthday
    Hubert Keller’s Birthday
    Nick Davis Weinstein’s Birthday
    Samuel L. Jackson’s Birthday
    Chris Heria’s Birthday
    Frank Zappa’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    International Dalek Remembrance Day
    December 21 is International Dalek Remembrance Day, a day to remember the extraterrestrial cyborgs called Daleks in BBC's Doctor Who universe.

    Considered to be one of the biggest enemies of Doctor Who, the time travelling lord, the robotic Daleks made their debut on December 21, 1963 in a 7 part serial aptly called The Daleks.
    These salt and pepper shaker shaped creatures were created by another enemy of the Doctor - Davros, who genetically modified his own people, the Kaleds and removed all emotions from them. The Daleks were then left to operate just on hate and vengeance.
    Frightening Villains
    Known for repeatedly saying exterminate and for wanting to destroy every other race in the universe, the metal covered, aggressive Daleks are popularly considered by science fiction fans as one of the most frightening villains ever shown on television. A 2010 survey by the sci-fi magazine SFX found that the Doctor's arch-enemies were the most popular fantasy creatures on television and the big screen.
    Today, Daleks are easily recognized icons in popular culture especially in the United Kingdom. Being or sounding like a Dalek is sometimes used as a way to refer to someone who's behavior or voice sounds mechanical or robotic.
    Remembrance of Daleks
    Remembrance of Daleks is a 4 part serial in the 25th season of the British science fiction show. In the serial, Doctor Who returns to 1963 to retrive the Hand of Omega, a device that can fuel time travel by converting stars into supernovas.
    Another popularly celebrated Doctor Who inspired holiday is Impossible Astronaut Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Spend the day doing a Doctor Who marathon. Host a Doctor Who party. Decorate the venue with Doctor Who inspired decorations and invite all the Whovians in your life. Did You Know…
    …that originally Daleks could not go up stairs? This lack of stair-climbing abilities was one way that Doctor Who characters could save themselves from these monstrous creatures. In a more recent avatar of the Daleks, the creators of the TV show have given them hovering capabilities, which they employ while uttering escalate in the same tone as they say eliminate.
     
     
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    The last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me.
    He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"
    I replied, "You really want to know?"
    Then I dropped out of the race.
     
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    A man came in to give his application to the manager.
    But the manager asked, "Why is there a four-year gap in your application?"
    And the man responded, "Yale."
    The manager hired him and the guy said, "Thanks. I needed a yob."
     
    ***
     
    An elderly farmer had an old bull that lost its usual desire and no longer went near the cows. The farmer called the vet, who prescribed a pill to stimulate the bull’s interest.
    A few weeks later, the farmer ran into a friend, who asked, “How’s that bull?”
    “Great!” said the farmer. “The bull is back to his former frisky self.”
    “That’s fantastic. What miracle drug did the vet prescribe?”
    “I don’t know,” said the farmer. “But it tastes like licorice.”
     
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    I took our 4-year-old granddaughter, Halle, to the corral on pregnancy testing day to watch as the veterinarian did ultrasounds on our cows. After a positive test, the vet shouted out, “Call it good!”
    I explained to Halle this meant there was a baby in the cow’s tummy.
    She replied, “I don’t want to call the baby Good; I want to call it Queen Elsa.”
     
     
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    (Thanks for the nightmares)  
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    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    MDBCs 20 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 871
    December 20th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Abolition of Slavery Day, also known as Fête des Cafres (Réunion, French Guiana) Bo Aung Kyaw Day (Myanmar) Christian feast day: Dominic of Silos O Clavis Ursicinus of Saint-Ursanne Katharina von Bora (Lutheran) December 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest date for Winter solstice's eve (Northern Hemisphere), and its related observances: Yaldā (Iran) International Human Solidarity Day (International) Macau Special Administrative Region Establishment Day (Macau)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Cathode-Ray Tube Day
    Dot Your I’s Day
    Games Day
    Go Caroling Day
    Mudd Day
    National Greg Day
    National Steven Day
    Sacagawea Day
     
    Sandra Lee’s Birthday
    Pouya’s Birthday
    Peter Criss’s Birthday
    NAO’s Birthday
    Mystic Inscho’s Birthday
    Zack Carpinello’s Birthday
    Melanie Scrofano’s Birthday
    Lucia Zambetti’s Birthday
    Kylian Mbappé’s Birthday
    Jonah Hill’s Birthday
    JoJo’s Birthday
    De'Aaron Fox’s Birthday
    Christmas Abbott’s Birthday
    Taimur Ali Khan’s Birthday
    Tori Bates’s Birthday
    Ashleigh Wendrock’s Birthday
    Mya Nicole Johnson’s Birthday
    Todd Phillips
     
    Fun Observances
    Sangria Day
    December 20 is Sangria Day. This unofficial holiday encourages people around the world to enjoy the day with a tall glass of the delicious alcoholic beverage.

    Typically made of red wine, sangria is a beverage that originated from Spain and Portugal. Usually, the wine is steeped with a variety of that is infused with a variety of chopped fruits and sugar for a few days before being consumed.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you are in the Northern Hemisphere, chances are that you are dreaming of a warm sunny day and a cool drink, and if you are in the Southern Hemisphere, you are probably looking for a cold drink to cool you down. No matter where you are on Earth, here are some ways you can celebrate Sangria Day:
    Make a huge batch of sangria and share with family and friends. Experiment with different kinds of wine and fruits to change the flavor profile of the Sangria you make. Don't drink alcohol? No problem. Make yourself a batch of non-alcoholic sangria with ginger ale or any other sparkling fruit juice of your choice. Did You Know…
    …that the term Sangria comes from the Spanish word for bleeding? This is because the beverage is typically made of red wine, which is deep red in color.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    I was picking up my letters at the post office when I heard a boy ask his mother if they had gotten any mail.
    She said, “No, just bills.”
    Then he asked, “Why do we always get his mail?”
     
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    While on patrol, I arrested a burglar who’d injured himself running from a home. He told me he’d broken in and unhooked the phone before searching for valuables. But he’d panicked when he heard a woman’s voice.
    I entered the house and heard the same voice:
    “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.”
     
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    We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that 
fact. Anytime someone asked what his father did, he’d say, “He’s in the Army.”
    I told him umpteen times, “Stop telling people I’m in the Army!”
    It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form 
for kindergarten, under “father’s 
profession,”
    the teacher wrote, “He doesn’t know what his father does, but he’s not in the Army.”
     
    ***
     
    One day when my son David was 5 years old, he informed me that he no longer wanted to go to day care because the other kids were all babies. He said he was a big boy and could stay home alone while I worked.
    So I asked him, “Who will make your lunch? You can’t reach the stove.”
    He quickly replied, “I’ll make a salad.”
     
     
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    Bang Zoom ...You're Going to the Moon! - YouTube
     
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    sandrewn
     
  24. sandrewn

    MDBCs 19 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 870
    December 19th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Lillian Trasher (Episcopal Church) O Radix Pope Anastasius I Pope Urban V December 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Saint Nicholas Day Goa Liberation Day (Goa, India) National Heroes and Heroines Day (Anguilla)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Look for an Evergreen Day
    National Emo Day
    National Hard Candy Day
    National Harry Day
    National Oatmeal Muffin Day
     
    Jenelle Evans’s Birthday
    Janet Guzman’s Birthday
    Jasmine Sorge’s Birthday
    Ines de Ramon’s Birthday
    Jake Gyllenhaal’s Birthday
    Hawkeye Huey’s Birthday
    Hey.lexie’s Birthday
    Delta Shepard’s Birthday
    Elaine Joyce’s Birthday
    Criss Angel’s Birthday
    Cicely Tyson’s Birthday
    Ashley Flowers’s Birthday
    Nico Hiraga’s Birthday
    Souline McBroom’s Birthday
    Alkaline’s Birthday
    Alyssa Milano’s Birthday
    Ronan Farrow
     
    Fun Observances ( 0 )
     
     
    ***
     
     
    The DMV was as crowded and noisy as ever. When I finally got to the 
window, I asked the clerk, “Does the never-ending line of loud people ever drive you crazy?”
    She shook her head. “We call it job security.”
     
    ***
     
    There is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question, Except for These:
    • I work in IT. A customer asked me if a string of numbers I'd read off was upper- or lowercase.
    • Someone once asked, “Is this the museum?” I work at a pool.
    • A few of the things customers have asked for at our art-supply store include disco balls, trees, and crucifixion wood.
    • I'm a butcher. A woman asked if she could sleep in our freezer to test out a heavy-duty sleeping bag before a trip to the Himalayas.
     
    ***
     
    Conversation With A Customer-Service Representative:
    Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that is defective.   Customer Rep: Ma’am, we’ll need the exact name of the item. Do you have the box?   Me: No, but it’s the Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer.   Customer Rep: Ma’am, we’ll need the box so we can have the exact name of the product.   Me: Hold on. I’ll run out to my garage and get the box. [Long pause ... ] 
OK ... [huff ... puff] I have it. It says ... Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer.   Customer Rep: Thank you for that information, ma’am.  
    ***
     
    Several years ago, our grandson Andrew slept at our house overnight. For breakfast I made pancakes, and I gave him one that was browner than the others.
    He told me he didn’t want that one because it was too ripe.
     
     
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    (Be careful of what you wish for)
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    MDBCs 18 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 869
    December 18th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Expectation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Flannán Gatianus of Tours O Adonai Sebastian (Eastern Orthodox Church) Winibald December 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Migrants Day National Day (Qatar) Republic Day (Niger) UN Arabic Language Day (United Nations)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Answer The Telephone Like Buddy The Elf Day
    Bake Cookies Day
    Flake Appreciation Day
    Guru Ghasidas Jayanti
    National Crime Junkie Day
    National Deborah Day
    National Jeremy Day
    National Roast Suckling Pig Day
    National Twin Day
    Wear a Plunger on Your Head Day
     
    Katie Holmes’s Birthday
    Joseph Stalin’s Birthday
    Franz Ferdinand’s Birthday
    DMX’s Birthday
    Christina Aguilera’s Birthday
    Stone Cold Steve Austin’s Birthday
    Ronald Acuna Jr.’s Birthday
    Rachel in Wonderland’s Birthday
    Maria Brink’s Birthday
    Keith Richards’s Birthday
    Lyrica Anderson’s Birthday
    Ashley Benson’s Birthday
    Paul Klee’s Birthday
    Ayaka Iida’s Birthday
    Ray Liotta’s Birthday
    Brad Pitt’s Birthday
    Steven Spielberg’s Birthday
    Bridgit Mendler’s Birthday
    YBN Nahmir’s Birthday
    Chris FamilyFunPack’s Birthday
    ZaZa Bean’s Birthday
    Billie Eilish
     
     
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    A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents.
    “I can see why it would be dangerous to drink and drive,” she said.
    “The straw could go up your nose.”
     
    ***
     
    I’m a nurse in a hospital’s children’s ward. One night, I was at the nurses’ station when I heard a little boy in his room talking. He kept the patter up for some time.
    Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, “All right, Johnny, it’s time to go to sleep now.”
    There was quiet in the room, and then he said, “OK, God, I will.” I didn’t hear a peep from him until morning.
     
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    My 35-year-old son and I had just finished our meal when I realized I’d left my wallet in my truck. As I headed out the door, I told the waitress what had happened.
    “But don’t worry,” I said with a grin. “I’m leaving my son for collateral.”
    She looked at him. He winked at her. She turned back to me. “What else you got?”
     
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    When someone asks me if I quit my diet... not only did I fall off the diet wagon,
    I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire,
    and used the insurance money to buy Twinkies.
     
     
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    sandrewn
     
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