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  1. sandrewn

    MDBCs 29 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 819
    October 29th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abraham of Rostov Blessed Chiara Badano Colman mac Duagh Douai Martyrs Gaetano Errico James Hannington (Anglicanism) Michele Rua Narcissus of Jerusalem Theuderius October 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Coronation Day (Cambodia) Republic Day (Turkey) or Cumhuriyet Bayramı  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Cat Day
    National Hermit Day
    National Indigenous People’s Thanksgiving Day
    National Martina Day
    National Oatmeal Day
    National Prescription Drug Take Back Day
    RSPB Feed the Birds Day
    Visit A Cemetery Day
    World Psoriasis Day
    World Stroke Day
    International Brain Tumor Awareness Week
    Polar Bear Week
     
    Tracee Ellis Ross’s Birthday
    Moses Hacmon’s Birthday
    Gabrielle Union’s Birthday
    Ellie Thumann’s Birthday
    Winona Ryder’s Birthday
    Christopher Wallace, Jr.’s Birthday
    Bob Ross’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Internet Day
    October 29 is celebrated every year as Internet Day around the world.

    Can you imagine a world without the Internet? Without instant access to streaming movies, videos of kittens to make your day brighter, online shopping, and instant messaging?
    The holiday encourages people to celebrate the Internet and to acknowledge that it has revolutionized how we communicate, gather knowledge and share information with each other. And yes, also how we waste our time.
    The First Network Message
    The unofficial holiday commemorates the very first electronic message sent over a network. On October 29, 1969, a UCLA Computer Science Professor and his staff sent the message “LO” over the telephone network to be received at Stanford University.
    It is also known as World Internet Day or International Internet Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Honor the internet and all those who have worked hard to create and maintain it on Internet Day. Here are some ways to celebrate this day:
    Learn more about the history of the Internet. Send everyone you know a Happy Internet Day message. Over the Internet of course. Did You Know…
    …that it took 20 years after the message was sent for the World Wide Web to be invented? Tim Berners-Lee, a software engineer at CERN, Geneva, Switzerland created the precursor the World Wide Web in 1989.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q: What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
    A: One has gobblers, the other goblins.
    ***
    Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
    Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
    ***
    Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
    A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy
    ***
    The skeleton cried his eyes out because he didn't have any body to love.
    ***
    Q: What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks?
    A: It came back with a skeleton crew!
    ***
    Q:  Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
    A:  Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
    ***
    Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
    A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
    ***
    Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it.
    What is it? A: A coffin.
     
    ***
     
    While in Kuwait, shortly before we deployed to Iraq, a major general told our meeting that we should 
expect to cross “into Iraq in less than 24 hours.”
    He then opened the floor to questions.
    A lieutenant stood up and asked, “Is that 24 hours our time or 24 hours their time?”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    MDBCs 28 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 817
    October 28th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abdias of Babylon Abgar V of Edessa (Eastern Orthodox Church) Eadsige Faro Fidelis of Como (Roman Catholic Church) Firmilian Godwin of Stavelot Job of Pochayiv (repose) (Eastern Orthodox Church) The Apostles Simon and Jude (Western Christianity) Lord of Miracles (Lima) October 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Establishment of an Independent Czecho-Slovak State, celebrates the independence of Czechoslovakia from Austria-Hungary in 1918. (Czech Republic and Slovakia) International Animation Day (ASIFA) Ohi Day (Greece, Cyprus and the Greek communities), a national day in Greece. Prefectural Earthquake Disaster Prevention Day (Gifu Prefecture) Youth Pledge Day or Hari Sumpah Pemuda (Indonesia) Anniversary of the liberation of Ukraine from the Nazis, celebrating the liberation from Nazi German troops of the territory of current Ukraine  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Chocolate Day
    National Pit Bull Awareness Day
    Chucks-N-Pearls Day
    Hug a Sheep Day
    Lao: End of Buddhist Lent Day
    Make a Difference Day
    Muddy dog day
    Myanmar Full Moon of Thadingyut
    National Caroline Day
    National First Responders Day
    National Immigrants Day
    National One United Race Day
    National William Day
    Plush Animal Lovers Day
    Valmiki Jayanti
    Vap Full Moon Poya
    Wild Foods Day
     
    Frank Ocean’s Birthday
    Edd Gould’s Birthday
    Charlie Daniels’s Birthday
    Caitlyn Jenner’s Birthday
    Sheryl Underwood’s Birthday
    Lucy Bronze’s Birthday
    Julia Roberts’s Birthday
    Jonny Hawkins’s Birthday
    Joaquin Phoenix’s Birthday
    GamingWithJen’s Birthday
    Jasmine Rae’s Birthday
    Amy Slaton’s Birthday
    John Laurens’s Birthday
    Anthony Fantano’s Birthday
    Joy-Anna Duggar’s Birthday
    WinWin’s Birthday
    Katherine Flores’s Birthday
    Brad Mondo’s Birthday
    Matt Smith’s Birthday
    Brad Paisley’s Birthday
    Trista Sutter’s Birthday
    Brent Champagne’s Birthday
    Bill Gates’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    International Animation Day
    October 28 is International Animation Day. It's a day to recognize and celebrate the artists, the scientists and the technicians behind animated art including animated movies.

    Created by the International Animated Film Association (Association Internationale du Film d'Animation) in 2002, the unofficial holiday commemorates the day in 1892 when Charles-Emile Reynaud’s Theatre Optique made its first public appearance at the Grevin Museum in Paris, France.
    Optical Theater
    Theatre Optique or Optical Theater was a machine that used a projector and mirrors to create images on a screen. The images were painted on a ribbon wound into a spool. Another spool unwound the ribbon as the images were projected on the screen.
    Acting as his own projectionist and accompanied by a pianist, Reynaud showed 3 cartoons during the show. Each cartoon was 15 minutes long and was created by putting together about 600 individually drawn images on the ribbon.
    Moving Static Images
    Animation is the process of creating moving images by displaying static images in quick succession. Each image differs from the previous image very slightly, and it is these differences that create the movement in the sequence.
    Traditionally, animated sequences were created by hand-drawn pictures and paintings. Today, technological advances have made it possible for artists to create images directly on a computer.
    How to Celebrate?
    Watch animated movies and learn about the science and art behind the movies. Encourage the young artists in your life to take up animation as a future career. Learn how to make your own animated movies using just your phone or your computer. Did You Know…
    …that the first animated film was Humorous Phases of Funny Faces? It was created by J. Stuart Blackton and came out in 1906.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. “Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked.
    “Yes,” I said. “They hurt my 
feelings.”
     
    ***
     
    Scene: A radio newsroom.
    Caller: I just wanted to let you know you’re off the air.
    Host: Yes, we know. The engineers are working on it.
    Caller: It would be nice if you put something on the air that says that.
     
    ***
     
    I phoned a local restaurant to 
ask if it was on the north or south side of Main Street.
    The person on the other end answered, “That 
depends on which direction you’re coming from.”
     
    ***
     
    We can’t all live on a street with a pleasant name like Oak or Elm. Here are the least popular street names (that we hope don’t exist):
    • Drinkand Dr.
    • Vicious Circle
    • West 943,185th Street
    • Psycho Path
    • Peoples Ct.
    • Nofriggin Way
     
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    MDBCs 27 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 818
    October 27th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abbán Abraham the Poor Frumentius (Roman Catholic Church) Gaudiosus of Naples Kaleb of Axum Namatius (Namace) Oran of Iona October 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Černová Tragedy Day (Slovakia) Flag Day (Greece) Independence Day (Saint Vincent and the Grenadines), celebrates the independence of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines from United Kingdom in 1979. Navy Day (United States) (unofficial, official date is October 13) World Day for Audiovisual Heritage  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Bandana Day
    Cranky Co-Workers Day
    Frankenstein Friday
    Global Champagne Day
    National Black Cat Day
    National Breadstick Day
    National Henry C. Ramos Day
    National Mentoring Day
    National Pharmacy Buyer Day
    Nevada Day
    World Lemur Day
    National Parmigiano Reggiano Day
     
    Malachi Bush’s Birthday
    Scott Weiland’s Birthday
    Lilbaby Lexi’s Birthday
    Lonzo Ball’s Birthday
    Kelly Osbourne’s Birthday
    John Cleese’s Birthday
    Hernando Desoto’s Birthday
    Simon Le Bon’s Birthday
    Theodore Roosevelt’s Birthday
    Claudia Sampedro’s Birthday
    Fran Lebowitz’s Birthday
    John Gotti's Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Fri Oct 27th, 2023 - Wed Nov 1st, 2023
    Grandparents Week  
    Fun Observances
    American Beer Day
    On October 27, visit your favorite pub or bar and enjoy some American brewed beers because it is American Beer Day!

    The American Beer industry is one of the fastest growing business in the United States. In fact, the U.S. ranks second in the world in both total beer consumption as well as beer production, second only to China. A survey in 2014 estimated that there are over 3000 breweries in the country that manufacture about 196 million barrels of beer every year.
    Rich History
    Beer production in the U.S. has a rich and varied history. Historical records show that Native American tribes were brewing beer using corn (maize) more before European settlers reached the shores of the country. Dutch and English settlers in the 17th century produced local brews that were consumed locally. Mass production of beer in the U.S. only began in the late 19th century, and beer quickly replaced other spirits as the alcoholic beverage of choice. Between 1920 and 1933, the years of prohibition, beer fell out of disfavor as alcohol was banned throughout the country.
    Today, in addition to the big beer manufacturers, the United States has seen a surge of craft breweries and microbreweries who make small batch artisanal beer.
    Different Styles
    While breweries across America make a number of different styles of beer, the most common kind available in the country is known as American style lager. It is a type of a pale lager that was inspired by the beer recipes brought to the U.S. by German immigrants.
    Other styles of beers include American Pale Ale, American style India Pale Ale and Belgian style ale.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the day by visiting your local bar and sampling some American beers. Remember, you don't have to be in the United States to celebrate this unofficial holiday. If you are a home brewer, why not try and brew some American style beers at home? Of course, don't forget to share with family and friends! Did You Know…
    …that home brewing has a long history in the United States? Both the first president of the country, George Washington, and the third president, Thomas Jefferson were home brewers.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A blonde and a brunette worked in a factory. The brunette says, "I know how to get some time off from work!" "How?" asks the blonde. "Watch this," says the brunette. She climbs up to the rafter and hangs upside down. The boss walks in, sees her and says, "What on earth are you doing?" "I'm a lightbulb," she answers. "I think you need some time off," says the boss so she jumps down and walks out. The blonde starts walking out, too. "Where are YOU going?" says the boss. The blonde replies, "I can't work in the dark!"   ***
     
    A patient came to the hospital with a burned right hand. As the doctor took down his medical history, he asked the injured man, "Do you smoke?"
    "Yeah, a pack and a half a day," said the patient.
    Concerned, the doctor told him, "You should consider quitting."
    "No, it's OK," said the patient. "I smoke with my left hand."
     
    ***
     
    On our commute to work, my husband stopped at a convenience store for coffee. As he got back into the car, I noticed something odd. "Turn your head and look at me," I said. "You have a Q-tip sticking out of your ear."
    As he pulled it out, he replied, "No wonder the guy in there asked me if I was getting good reception."
     
    ***
     
    Spotted on Facebook…
    Student:
    I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did 
I do on my research paper?
    Teacher:
    Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the 
sentences you apparently 
kidnapped in the dead of night 
and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place.
    You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    MDBCs 26 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 816
    October 26th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Accession Day (Jammu and Kashmir, India) Angam Day (Nauru) Armed Forces Day (Benin) Christian feast day: Alfred the Great (Catholic Church, Anglican Church, Eastern Orthodox Church) Amandus of Strasbourg Beóán (Bean) of Mortlach Blessed Celine Borzecka Cedd Cuthbert of Canterbury Demetrius of Thessaloniki Eadfrith of Leominster Eata of Hexham Pope Evaristus (Aristus) Fulk of Pavia (Roman Catholic Church) Philipp Nicolai, Johann Heermann and Paul Gerhardt (Lutheran Church) Quadragesimus Quodvultdeus Rusticus of Narbonne Witta (Albinus) of Büraburg Eastern Orthodox liturgics National Day, celebrates the anniversary of the Declaration of Neutrality in 1955. (Austria) Intersex Awareness Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Pumpkin Day
    National Chicken Fried Steak Day
    National Day of the Deployed
    National Financial Crime Fighter Day
    National Mincemeat Day
    National Mule Day
    National Noah Day
    National Tennessee Day
    National Transgender Children Day
    National Vivace Microneedling Day
     
    Odalys JM’s Birthday
    Michael Sterling’s Birthday
    Toya Wright’s Birthday
    Luna’s Birthday
    Mendeecees Harris’s Birthday
    Seth MacFarlane’s Birthday
    Ayla Faith Prince’s Birthday
    Jaclyn Smith’s Birthday
    Keith Urban’s Birthday
    Hannah Bronfman’s Birthday
    Hillary Clinton’s Birthday
    CM Punk’s Birthday
    Bootsy Collins’s Birthday
    Bish Bharbie’s Birthday
    Pat Sajak’s Birthday
    Kelly Jo Bates’s Birthday
    Phaedra Parks’s Birthday
    Kelsi Taylor’s Birthday
    Tokyo Jetz’s Birthday
    Angela Rye’s Birthday
    Monie Cashette’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Howl at the Moon Day and Night
    October 26 is Howl At the Moon Day and Night.

    We were unable to figure out what the unknown creators of this made-up holiday aim to accomplish, but we can only assume that it encourages people to go out during the day or night and howl at the Moon.
    Howl Like a Wolf
    The name of the holiday comes from the belief that wolves howl at the Moon. According to lore, on a full Moon night, wolves upturn their head towards the Moon and communicate with it by howling. Images of wolves with their heads turned towards the sky, howling with a full Moon in the background are commonplace today.
    There is, however, absolutely no scientific evidence connecting Moon phases and wolf activities. Research has shown that wolves howl to communicate with the rest of their pack. Because they are nocturnal - they hunt for food at night and sleep during the day - they tend to howl at night. They turn their heads up when howling because doing so helps carry their sounds further.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about wolves and their species. Use the day as an excuse to take a night time hike with friends. Remember to let people know where you are going. Did You Know…
    …that wolves are the ancestors of present-day dogs?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Have you played the updated kids' game? I Spy With My Little Eye . . . Phone.
    ***
    I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time-consuming.
    ***
    A perfectionist walked into a bar...apparently, the bar wasn’t set high enough.
    ***
    You know it is going to be a bad day when the letters in your alphabet soup spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
    ***
    A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside.
     
    ***
     
    “Has your diet changed?” 
I asked an 87-year-old woman I was admitting into the hospital.   “Yes,” she said. “For Lent, I gave 
up whipped cream on my Jell-O, hard candy, and my two beers a night. [Pause] And look where it’s gotten me.”  
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    MDBCs 25 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 815
    October 25th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Romania) Christian feast day: Bernat Calbó (Bernard of Calvo) Pope Boniface I Canna Blessed Carlo Gnocchi Crysanthus and Daria (Western Christianity) Crispin and Crispinian Fructus Gaudentius of Brescia Goeznovius Minias of Florence Mar Nestorius (in the Nestorian churches) Tabitha (Dorcas) Tegulus Blessed Thaddeus McCarthy The Six Welsh Martyrs and companions (in Wales) The Hallowing of Nestorius October 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Nevada Day can fall, while October 31 is the latest; celebrated on last Friday in October. (Nevada) Earliest day on which October Holiday can fall, while October 31 is the latest; observed on last Monday in October. (Ireland) Earliest day on which Teacher's Day (Australia) can fall, while October 31 is the latest; celebrated on last Friday in October. (Australia) Customs Officer's Day (Russia) Day of the Basque Country (Basque Country) Republic Day (Kazakhstan) Retrocession Day (Taiwan) Sovereignty Day (Slovenia) Thanksgiving Day (Grenada)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    World Pasta Day
    Anniversary of Philippine Military Academy
    Geelong Cup Day
    International Artist Day
    Lung Health Day
    National Chucky The Notorious Killer Doll Day
    National Danielle Day
    National Fine Art Appreciation Day
    National Greasy Foods Day
    National Hope for Henry Day
    National I Care About You Day
    National Yasmin Day
    Punk For A Day Day
    World Opera Day
    Crisp Sandwich Day
     
    Pablo Picasso’s Birthday Lynn Toler’s Birthday
    Lee Know’s Birthday
    Krista Marie Yu’s Birthday
    Katy Perry’s Birthday
    Juan Soto’s Birthday
    Iris Law’s Birthday
    Ciara’s Birthday
    Princess Aurora’s Birthday
    Mia Goth’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Sourest Day
    October 25 is Sourest Day, a day to celebrate all things sour – people or foods.

    The origins of this made-up holiday are unknown, but we can assume that the day encourages people to try our sour foods and to cheer up the sour people in their lives.
    Sourness
    Sourness is a taste that detects acidity in a food item. Scientists rank substances on their sourness by comparing it to hydrochloric acid, which has a sourness index of 1.
    Souring
    Souring is a cooking technique that introduces acid to a food item and changes the chemical and physical properties of the food item. It is often used to make certain types of cheeses and yogurts.
    The word sour is also used to refer to someone who is angry, disagreeable or irritable. A person who harbors resentment or disappointment is also sometimes called a sour person.
    How to Celebrate?
    Replace your daily beverages with sour beverages like limeade, buttermilk and drinking vinegar. Have sour tasting food all day long. Have sour fruits for breakfast and for lunch have lemon chicken. For dinner make some ceviche, a grapefruit salad and a key lime pie for dessert. Bring sour candy to work for your co-workers or make a dessert that include sour fruit or limes. Know someone who is grumpy and grouchy? Do something nice for them to make them feel less sour. Did You Know…
    …that an average adult has about 10,000 taste buds in their mouth? Taste buds reduce in number as people age.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Famous film quotes get the 
redneck treatment: 
    “You had me at ‘Sooooey!’”
    “Use the horse, Luke.”
    “Are you crying? There’s no crying in NASCAR!”
    “Of all the trailer parks in Pine Cone County, she had to pull her 
’68 Rambler into mine.”
     
    ***
     
    The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
     
    ***
     
    A hiker stumbles upon a golden lamp in the forest. He rubs it, and out pops a real-life genie. “In return for freeing me,” says the genie, “I will grant you three wishes.” “I want a million more wishes,” the hiker says immediately. “Rule number one: No asking for more wishes.” The hiker considers his options before replying, “In that case, I want a million more genies.”
     
    ***
     
    In math: Two divided by nothing.
    In physics: The contraction of 
the mouth due to the expansion 
of the heart.
    In accounting: It’s a credit, because it is profitable when returned.
    In economics: A thing for which the demand is higher than the 
supply.
    In dentistry: It’s infectious and 
antiseptic.
     
    ***
     
    After catching her five-year-old son Lucas trying to pull a fast one, his mother demanded,
    “Do you think I have idiot written on my forehead?”
    Lucas answered,
    “I don’t know. I can’t read.”
     
     
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    I 'm sure, 'HE' would call her a loser?
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    MDBCs 24 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 814
    October 24th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Anthony Mary Claret Eberigisil (Evergitus) Five Martyrs of Carthage (Felix and Companions) Luigi Guanella Magloire of Dol Martin of Vertou Proclus of Constantinople Rafael Guízar y Valencia Senoch October 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Special Forces of the Armed Forces (Russia) Food Day (United States) Independence Day (Zambia) International Day of Diplomats Suez Day (Egypt) United Nations Day, the anniversary of the 1945 Charter of the United Nations (International) World Development Information Day World Polio Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    My Best Winter Skin Day
    Janmostav of Srimatna Sankardev
    Disarmament Week
    National Elizabeth Day
    National Jamaican Jerk Day
    National Kangaroo Awareness Day
    National Senior UTI Awareness Day
    Vijayadashami
    World Tripe Day
     
    Krystal Jung’s Birthday
    Monica Arnold’s Birthday
    Jaylen Brown’s Birthday
    Justin Burke’s Birthday
    Gabriel Conte’s Birthday
    Jason Tartick’s Birthday
    Eric Hosmer’s Birthday
    Drake’s Birthday
    Daya’s Birthday
    PewDiePie’s Birthday
    Purpled’s Birthday
    Adrienne Bailon’s Birthday
    Wayne Rooney’s Birthday
    CrankGameplays’s Birthday
    Tila Tequila’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Bologna Day
    October 24 is Bologna Day, an unofficial holiday that was created to honor everyone's favorite sausage and sandwich meat - bologna.

    Also sometimes known as baloney or boloney, bologna sausage is an American version of the Italian mortadella sausage. The American version is named after the Italian city of Bologna, where the original sausage is thought to have originated from.
    Different Meats
    According to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) bologna sausages can be made of pork, beef, chicken or lamb, but the meat has to be very finely ground such that there can be no flecks of lard or spices visible in the sausage. In the U.S. bologna sausages are mostly used to make bologna or baloney sandwiches, which is a slice of bologna and other condiments between two pieces of white bread. Many regional varieties of the sandwich exist, the most famous being fried bologna sandwich from the Midwest.
    The holiday is also sometimes known as National Bologna Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make a bologna sandwich for all your meals. Try pairing it with different condiments to mix things up. For a special dessert, try making a bologna cake - a cake made by alternating layers of bologna and cream cheese. Make your own bologna sausage from scratch. Did You Know…
    …that the University of Bologna, is the second oldest university still in existence in the world? It was founded in 1088. The oldest, the University of al-Karaouine in Morocco, was established in 859.
     
     
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    Spotted on a Laundromat corkboard: “Please keep clothes on while doing laundry.”
    ***
    A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ.
    Here’s how it works:
    If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
    ***
    The worst time to have a heart 
attack is during a game of charades.
    ***
    It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be living.
     
    ***
     
    My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s-ed test as she’d hoped. 
It might have had something to 
do with how she completed this 
sentence:
    “When the ______ is dead, the car won’t start.”
    She wrote: “Driver.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    MDBCs 23 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 813
    October 23rd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Feast of the Most Holy Redeemer James the Just (i.e. James, brother of Jesus) (Lutheran, Episcopal Church (USA), Eastern Orthodox) Allucio of Campugliano Amon of Toul (Diocese of Toul) Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius Ignatios of Constantinople John of Capistrano Joséphine Leroux Peter Pascual Romain (Romanus) of Rouen Servandus and Cermanus Severin of Cologne October 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christmas or the Feast of Señor Noemi (the Child Jesus) in the Apostolic Catholic Church Aviator's Day (Brazil) Chulalongkorn Day (Thailand) Day of the Macedonian Revolutionary Struggle (Republic of North Macedonia) Liberation Day (Libya) National Day (Hungary) Paris Peace Agreement Day (Cambodia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day
    Ayudha Puja
    International Swallows Depart from San Juan Capistrano Day
    International: Chung Yeung Festival
    Maha Navami
    Mahanavami
    Navami of Durga Puja
    Nepal: Maha Navami
    National Boston Cream Pie Day
    National Croc Day
    National iPod Day
    National Paralegal Day
    New Zealand Labour Day
    T.V. Talk Show Host Day
    International Snow Leopard Day
    Event Organizers Day
     
    Ur Mom Ashley’s Birthday
    Ryan Reynolds’s Birthday
    Sam Andrews’s Birthday
    Nathalie Paris’s Birthday
    Pelé’s Birthday
    Miguel’s Birthday
    Weird Al Yankovic’s Birthday
    Masiela Lusha’s Birthday
    Meghan McCain’s Birthday
    Johnny Carson’s Birthday
    LaVar Ball’s Birthday
    Dwight Yoakam’s Birthday
    Carter Sharer’s Birthday
    Asahd Khaled’s Birthday
    Arii’s Birthday
    Amandla Stenberg’s Birthday
    Mina Sundwall’s Birthday
    Emilia Clarke's Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Mole Day
    Mole Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated by chemists and chemistry students on October 23 in honor of the mole, a measuring unit in Chemistry.

    The mole measures chemical entities such as atoms or molecules and is formally defined as the amount of any substance that contains as many entities as there are atoms in 12 grams of carbon-12.
    Associated with Avogadro’s number, a dimensionless measuring unit in Chemistry, the mole approximates to 6.02×1023. The number is named after Italian scientist Amedeo Avogadro.
    6:02 a.m. to 6:02 p.m
    Mole Day is celebrated annually between 6:02 a.m. to 6:02 p.m (18:02) on October 23 because when written in the month-date format, the date and time 6.02, 10/23 include the digits in Avogadro’s number.
    The National Mole Day Foundation founded in 1991 celebrates the day every year with a theme. Some of the recent themes include Molar Eclipse in 2012, Mole of the Caribbean in 2010, and Molar Express in 2009.
    How to Celebrate?
    Get your geek on for this day. Wear a mole t-shirt and when someone asks you about it, explain the concept of mole to them. Have a mole-themed party and serve guaca“mole” and wear mole (the animal) costumes. Did You Know…
    …that a group of moles is called a labor?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    While driving on the highway, my daughter noticed a child in the window of a car in the next lane, holding up a handwritten sign that read "Help."

    A few minutes later, the car passed her and she again glanced at it. The little boy held up the same sign and this time followed it with another, which read "My mother is singing!"
     
    ***
     
    FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.
     
    ***
     
    My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter. "So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who's coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"

    Katie replied, "I think it's my uncle Brian."
     
    ***
     
    Students are great about 
sending our troops letters, and the troops love ’em. You can see why:
    “Dear Soldier, If you’re having 
a rough day, remember the most 
important thing in life is to be 
yourself. Unless you can be Batman.”
    “Dear Veterans, You rock more than AC/DC or Metallica or Red 
Hot Chili Peppers.”
    “I am so happy you are risking your life for the USA! My grandpa Bob was in the Navy. Now he likes peanuts.”
     
     
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    The picture was taken in 1988. The ship is not the Stennis, it’s the USS America. The pilot is Dale Snodgrass, a Navy demonstration pilot. The flyby was planned in advance. The man on deck with his hands behind his back is Admiral Jay Johnson. The pilot was not grounded. Other than that, spot on.
     
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    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    MDBCs 22 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 812
    October 22nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
     (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aaron the Illustrious (Syriac Orthodox Church) Abercius of Hieropolis Bertharius Cordula Donatus of Fiesole Marcus of Jerusalem Mary Salome Mellonius of Rouen Nunilo and Alodia Pope John Paul II Theodoret of Antioch October 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Labour Day can fall, while October 28 is the latest; celebrated on the fourth Monday in October (New Zealand) Fechner Day (International observance) International Stuttering Awareness Day Jidai Matsuri (Kyoto, Japan) National Santri Day (Indonesia) Wombat Day (Australia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Nut Day
    Durga Ashtami
    Masskara Festival
    National Anna Day
    National Color Day
    National Diego Day
    National Kristopher NaJee Roebuck Day
    National Lauren Day
    National Make a Dog’s Day
    National Mother-in-Law Day
    National Scar Appreciation Day
    National Tight Ends Day
    Nepal: Maha Ashtami
    Newport Wales Marathon
    Smart is Cool Day
     
    Gloria Carter Spann’s Birthday
    Elias Harger’s Birthday
    Ethan Munck’s Birthday
    Deepak Chopra’s Birthday
    Deontay Wilder’s Birthday
    Christopher Lloyd’s Birthday
    Mariah Huq’s Birthday
    Zhuri Nova James’s Birthday
    Charlie Wright’s Birthday
    TobyMac’s Birthday
    Sora Simmons’s Birthday
    Roddy Ricch’s Birthday
    Haley Sharpe’s Birthday
    Curly Howard’s Birthday
    Hassan Jameel’s Birthday
    Jeff Goldblum’s Birthday
    Jordyn Raya James’s Birthday
    21 Savage’s Birthday
    Pakalu Papito’s Birthday
    Acacia Kersey’s Birthday
    Shaggy’s Birthday
    Aziz Generosity’s Birthday
    SSSniperWolf’s Birthday
    Baby CEO’s Birthday
    Zac Hanson’s Birthday
    Carrie Hope Fletcher’s Birthday
    Franz Liszt’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Caps Lock Day
    October 22 IS CAPS LOCK DAY! The day celebrates the Caps Lock on a computer keyboard and was created by Derek Arnold in 2000.

    It is unclear what the exact purpose of this made-up holiday is. Perhaps it encourages people to use the Caps Lock in their online communications. Or maybe it discourages them to use it because using all caps in an electronic communication is generally associated with anger and yelling.
    Uppercase
    On most keyboards, caps lock is a button or key that when set forces all types letters to be in uppercase. The mode can be switched off by pressing the caps lock key again.
    Caps Lock Day is also called International Caps Lock Day and is sometimes celebrated on June 28.
    How to Celebrate?
    Communicate with friends and family using the Caps Lock. Did You Know…
    …that according to some studies, the three most used keys on a typical computer keyboard are the delete key, the key for letter e and the space bar?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques I’d learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him onto the bed. But I couldn’t clear the top of the mattress. So I grabbed him again, summoned all my might, and hoisted him onto the bed. When the night shift nurse arrived, I recounted what had happened.
    “Funny,” she said, looking puzzled. “Usually I just ask him to get in bed, and he does.”
     
    ***
     
    As a brain wave technologist, I often ask postoperative patients to smile to make sure their facial nerves are intact. It always struck me as odd to be asking this question right after brain surgery, so a colleague suggested I ask patients to show me their teeth.
    Armed with this new phrase, I said to my next patient, “Mr. Smith, show me your teeth.”
    He shook his head. “The nurse has them.”
     
    ***
     
    My paramedic team was called to an emergency. Before we took the patient to the hospital, I had a question for his wife. “Does your husband have any cardiac problems?” I asked.
    “Yes,” she said with a note of concern. “His cardiologist just died.”
     
    ***
     
    Gary was having a yard sale. 
A minister bought a lawn mower 
but returned it a few days later, 
complaining that it wouldn’t run.
    “It’ll run,” said Gary. “But you 
have to curse at it to get it started.
    ” The minister was shocked. “I have not uttered a curse in 30 years.”
    “Just keep pulling on the starter rope—the words will come back to you.”
     
     
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    Crazy Weather In Lumberton: 3rd Of September Vs. 8th Of December
     
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    sandrewn
  9. sandrewn

    MDBCs 21 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 811
    October 21st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Honduras) Christian feast day: Asterius of Ostia Berthold of Parma Blessed Charles of Austria (Roman Catholic Church) Fintán of Taghmon Hilarion John of Bridlington Laura of Saint Catherine of Siena Leticia Malchus of Syria Peter Yu Tae-chol Severinus of Bordeaux Tuda of Lindisfarne Ursula Viator of Lyons October 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Egyptian Naval Day (Egypt) Indian Police Commemoration Day (India) National Nurses' Day (Thailand) Ndadaye Day (Burundi) Overseas Chinese Day (Republic of China) Trafalgar Day (the British Empire in the 19th and early 20th century) Birth of the Báb (2017) (Baháʼí Faith)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Apple Day
    National Fetch Day
    American Frog Day
    Back to the Future Day
    Bridge Day
    Celebration of the Mind Day
    Ethnicity day
    Everyone Writes Day
    Loud Shirt Day
    Global Iodine Deficiency Disorders Prevention Day
    International Raw Milk Cheese Appreciation Day
    Maha Saptami
    National Alexander Day
    National Archives Day
    National Check Your Meds Day
    National Jameson Day
    National Pets for Veterans Day
    National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day
    National Raymond Day
    National Reptile Awareness Day - 1
    National Reptile Day - 2
    Nepal: Phulpati
    International Day of the Nacho
    International Repair Day
     
    Matt Carriker’s Birthday
    Kim Kardashian’s Birthday
    Marzia Kjellberg’s Birthday
    Kane Brown’s Birthday
    Kaycee Rice’s Birthday
    Julia Havens’s Birthday
    Kaleb Alva’s Birthday
    Hope Hicks’s Birthday
    Judge Judy Sheindlin’s Birthday
    Devyn Kohl’s Birthday
    Doja Cat’s Birthday
    Cristy Lee’s Birthday
    Celia Cruz’s Birthday
    Carrie Fisher’s Birthday
    Tessica Brown’s Birthday
    Yella Beezy’s Birthday
    Aaron Tveit’s Birthday
    Amber Rose’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Count your Buttons Day
    October 21 is Count Your Buttons Day. As far as made-up holidays go, this one is a head scratcher.

    It is unclear what the unknown creators of this unofficial holiday aimed to do. Maybe they wanted people to count the buttons in their button stash or count the number of buttons on their shirt? Or perhaps they hoped that people spent the day counting buttons on the electrical appliances they come across on this day?
    Decorative and Practical
    Buttons have been part of human fashion since antiquity. Until the 13th century, however, buttons were used mostly for decoration and as jewelry and were made out of sea shells, bones and ivory. Buttons as a way to attach two pieces of fabric together came about in Europe in the 1200s - the first button maker's guild was formed in 1250 in France.
    In the late 1800s, buttons became a way to proclaim one's political loyalty - a trend that is still going strong in the United States. The first political button was issued at the inauguration of President George Washington in 1789. Today, buttons with candidates faces and logos are worn by supporters during elections.
    How to Celebrate?
    Start a button collection. There are many different types of buttons and some vintage buttons are actually priceless. Count all the buttons in your sewing kit. Why not celebrate the day by making sweet treats that look like buttons? Did You Know…
    …that Charles Dickens wrote an article in 1852 on the art and science of button making, titled What there is in a button.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sweetest Day
    The third Saturday in October is celebrated as Sweetest Day in parts of the United States.

      The unofficial holiday was started in 1921 in Cleveland, Ohio as a way to encourage women to treat their male romantic partners with sweets and candy.
    Boosting Business
    It is thought that the holiday, which is now popular in parts of Northeastern and Midwestern United States, began as a way for confectioners to boost their business. On the first Sweetest Day, on October 10, 1921, a committee of 12 candy makers distributed sweets and candy to orphans and senior citizens and encouraged people to do the same.
    Older Origins
    The idea for having a special day to promote candy consumption actually came about a few years before. In 1916, the National Confectioner's Association invented a day called Candy Day to be celebrated on the second Saturday of October. Unfortunately, the First World War overshadowed any such celebrations and the day failed to take off.
    Valentine's Day for Women
    Over the years, Sweetest Day has become a romantic holiday, where women are encouraged to buy candy and show romantic gestures towards their male partners. Many people consider the day as the reverse of Valentine's Day, where historically men have been expected to do romantic things for their female partners.
    10 States
    Sweetest Day is not a nation-wide holiday—only people in a handful of cities, including Buffalo, New York; Detroit, Michigan; and Cleveland, Ohio celebrate the holiday.
    How to Celebrate?
    With candy, of course! And remember, you do not have to have a significant other to share or give candy to. You can also treat yourself or your friend to some of their favorite candy. Make candy from scratch at home and share with your co-workers, family, and neighbors. Learn the history behind your favorite candy and sweets. Did You Know…
    …that Halloween, one of the most important holidays for candy companies, was not a big candy holiday until the mid-1950s?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My sister-in-law was teaching Sunday school class. The topic for the day: Easter Sunday and the 
resurrection of Christ. “What did Jesus do on this day?” she asked. There was no response, 
so she gave her students a hint: 
“It starts with the letter R.”
    One boy blurted, “Recycle!”
    ***
    Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.
    ***
    It’s New Year’s Eve, and the restaurant is hopping—revelers, band, overworked waiters. Wending his way through the crowd is a drunk, staggering back to his seat. Spotting an attractive woman sitting alone, he says, “Pardon me, miss, did I step on your feet a few minutes ago?”
    “Yes,” she says testily, “you did.”
    “Good! I knew my table was around here somewhere.”
    ***
    I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism.
    ***
    In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine's Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.

    "What happened?" I asked.

    "Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."
     
    ***
     
    Test Answers From Smart-Alecky Students
    • Q: 
What’s the name of a 
six-sided polygon?  A: Sixagon.   • Q: 
What part of the body is 
affected by glandular fever?   A: The glandular.   • Q: 
In The Tempest, why does 
Ariel sing in Gonzalo’s ear?   A: 
She’s a mermaid and wants to be human.   • Q: 
In comparison with large 
hydrocarbons, how would you describe small hydrocarbons?   A: They’re smaller.   • Q: 
Who were the Bolsheviks? A:   A Russian ballet company.  
     
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    MDBCs 20 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 810
    October 20th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Acca of Hexham Aderald Artemius Caprasius of Agen Hedwig (in Canada, moved from Oct. 16) Irene of Tomar Magdalene of Nagasaki Margaret Marie Alacoque (in Canada, moved from Oct. 16) Maria Bertilla Boscardin Mater Admirabilis October 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Arbor Day (Czech Republic) Heroes' Day (Kenya) Revolution Day (Guatemala), one of the two Patriotic Days (Guatemala) Vietnamese Women's Day (Vietnam) World Osteoporosis Day World Statistics Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Hawke's Bay Anniversary Day
    Information Overload Day
    International Chefs Day
    Miss American Rose Day
    National Brandied Fruit Day
    National Day on Writing
    National Jeff Day
    National Lane Day
    National Mammography Day
    National Youth Confidence Day
    Philippine-British Friendship day
    Sŵn Festival
    Talent Transformation Day
    World CRISPR Day
    Developmental Language Disorder Awareness Day
    Community Media Day
    Office Chocolate Day
    Suspender’s Day
     
    Mickey Mantle’s Birthday
    Maru the Shiba Inu’s Birthday
    Kamala Harris’s Birthday
    John Krasinski’s Birthday
    John Dewey’s Birthday
    Cyn Santana’s Birthday
    Candice Swanepoel’s Birthday
    Tom Petty’s Birthday
    Viggo Mortensen’s Birthday
    OpTic Predator’s Birthday
    Mitch Lucker’s Birthday
    NBA YoungBoy’s Birthday
    A$AP Ferg’s Birthday
    Ronnie Banks’s Birthday
    Bela Lugosi’s Birthday
    Sunny Hostin’s Birthday
    Blesiv’s Birthday
    Vallyk’s Birthday
    BM’s Birthday
    Snoop Dogg’s Birthday
      Fun Observances
    International Sloth Day
    October 20 is International Sloth Day, a day to honor the adorable slow-moving, tree-dwelling, and leaf-eating mammals.

    International Sloth Day was created in 2010 by the AIUNAU Foundation, a non-profit conservation and wildlife organization based in Colombia. The unofficial holiday raises awareness about the life cycle and natural habitat of the Sloth. The day also calls on people to learn more about these native South and Central American animals.
    Helping Humans Fight Diseases
    These extremely slow-moving animals, whose name is synonymous with one of seven deadly sins in Christian philosophy, tend to spend their entire lives hanging from limbs of trees.
    They have two layers of fur, which harbors a variety of symbiotic algae, fungi, beetles and other insects. The algae on the sloth's fur give it it's characteristic green color and helps the sloth camouflage itself in thick vegetation. Recent studies have shown that the algae and fungi in the sloth fur may help fight many human diseases, including cancer.
    How to Celebrate
    Learn more about the habitat, physiology and habits of the sloth. If your local zoo has sloths, visit it and spend the day observing them. Volunteer your time and money to a conservation and wildlife organization working to preserve the habitat of the sloth. And finally, this is a good day to be slothful. Spend the day doing nothing at all! Did You Know…
    …that even though sloths mostly eat leaves, their stomachs can't easily digest them? Sloths have a stomach with four compartments and it takes them almost a month to digest one meal.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
    I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
     
    ***
     
    Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
     
    ***
     
    The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?”
    A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.”
    The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”
     
    ***
     
    In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.
     
    ***
     
    My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
    He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
    
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
     
     
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    And now you know
    ( just in case )
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    MDBCs 19 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 809
    October 19th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aaron (Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria) Aquilinus of Évreux Desiderius (Didier) of Auxerre Frideswide Henry Martyn (Anglican Communion) Isaac Jogues, Jean de Brébeuf, and Companions Blessed Jerzy Popiełuszko Paul of the Cross Ptolemaeus and Lucius Varus Veranus of Cavaillon William Carey (Episcopal Church) October 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day, in honor of the country's independence (self-governing in free association with New Zealand) in 1974. (Niue) Oxfordshire Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    International Credit Union Day
    Conflict Resolution Day
    Evaluate Your Life Day
    International ShakeOut Day
    LGBT Center Awareness Day
    National Get Smart About Credit Day
    National Jared Day
    National Kentucky Day
    National New Friends Day
    National Seafood Bisque Day
    Spirit Day
    World Humanitarian Action Day
    World Pediatric Bone and Joint Day
    International Gin and Tonic Day
     
    Mohammed Tarek’s Birthday
    Peter Tosh’s Birthday
    Jeon Hee-Jin’s Birthday
    Lil Durk’s Birthday
    Evander Holyfield’s Birthday
    HappyBirthdayCalvin’s Birthday
    Dorinda Clark-Cole’s Birthday
    Cari Roblox’s Birthday
    Candice Pool’s Birthday
    Sam Pottorff’s Birthday
    Sean Price’s Birthday
    Angel Brinks’s Birthday
    Arzaylea’s Birthday
    Jon Favreau's Birthday
     
     
     
    ***
     
     
    I answered a 911 call at our emergency dispatch center from a woman who said her water broke.

    "Stay calm," I advised. "Now, how far apart are your contractions?"

    "No contractions," she said breathlessly. "But my basement is flooding fast."
     
    ***
     
    A motorist was driving down a rural dirt road when he came upon a stream. He called out to a man walking by, "Do you think I can drive my car through the stream?"

    "I suppose you can," said the man.

    So the driver started across, but within seconds, his car sank, and he barely escaped with his life.

    "You lied to me!" the driver screamed at the passerby. "That stream is at least ten feet deep!"

    "That's funny. It only reaches up to the middle of the ducks."
     
    ***
     
    Once there was a guy named Bill who wanted a horse. On Craigslist, Bill saw a Christian horse so he went to check it out. When Bill got to the ranch, the horse's owner said "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'praise the Lord' to make him go, and 'amen' to make him stop."
    Bill got on the horse and said "praise the Lord." the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord" and the horse is running.
    Now Bill sees the cliff and says: "AMEN."
    The horse stops and Bill says: "Whew! Praise the lord!"
     
    ***
     
    None of my grandsons share my corny sense of humor. When the family is eating lasagna, I say, “Lean over your plate, boys. You’ll get 
less-on-ya.”
    I say to the ten-year-old, “Don’t yell through the screen; you’ll strain your voice.”
    And when I took another grandson to the zoo, I asked, “Do you know why that snake’s not pressed against the glass? He doesn’t want to be a windshield viper.”
    They’ll probably laugh later.
     
     
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    Here's a classic bar joke: a centaur walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, how's the throat?"
    The centaur replies, "My throat isn't horse but my legs are."

     
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    sandrewn
     
  12. sandrewn

    MDBCs 18 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread CRumbs 808
    October 18th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Alaska Day (Alaska, United States) Christian feast day: Justus of Beauvais Luke the Evangelist Peter of Alcantara, can also be celebrated on October 19. October 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day (Azerbaijan), celebrates the independence of Azerbaijan from the Soviet Union in 1991. Necktie Day (Croatia) Persons Day (Canada) World Menopause Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Day of Unity
    Flora Duffy Day
    Hagfish Day
    Health Care Aide Day
    Kati Bihu
    National BRA Day
    National Ken Day
    National Louie Day
    National Mark Day
    National Mashed Potato Day
    National Medical Assistants Day
    National No Beard Day
    National Prayer Day
    National Speak Up for Victims of Sexual Abuse Day
    National Sunday Day
    National Zane Day
    Ride To Work Day
    Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day
    National Missouri Day
    Global Dignity Day
    SUDEP Action Day
    Global Ethics Day
     
    Racha Taki’s Birthday
    Patrick Bet-David’s Birthday
    nyesha arrington’s Birthday
    Ne-Yo’s Birthday
    Nadji Jeter’s Birthday
    Mike Ditka’s Birthday
    Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Birthday
    FaZe Banks’s Birthday
    Esperanza Spalding’s Birthday
    Dawn Wells’s Birthday
    Chuck Berry’s Birthday
    Baby Bash’s Birthday
    Lindsey Vonn’s Birthday
    Tyler Posey’s Birthday
    Zac Efron’s Birthday
    Sassy’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Chocolate Cupcake Day
    October 18 is Chocolate Cupcake Day. Need we say anything more?

    A cupcake is a single serve cake which gets its name from the cup-like shaped mold it is baked in. An American invention, cupcakes use the same ingredients as a regular cake and can be decorated just like any other cake with icing, frosting, toppings and sprinkles.
    Beer Flavor
    While cupcakes come in a variety of flavors, chocolate is one of the most popular flavor available. Many people make their chocolate cupcakes special by adding gourmet ingredients such as coffee, pumpkin, beer and whiskey.
    In the 19th century, cookbooks referred to another type of cup cakes - cakes whose ingredients were measured by cups. This reference is no longer much in use.
    How to Celebrate?
    Here are some delicious ways to celebrate chocolate cupcakes:
    Eat one (or two, or several) chocolate cupcakes. Bake up a batch of chocolate cupcakes and share with family, friends and co-workers. Gourmet up your cupcakes. What about making bacon, Nutella or caramel chocolate cupcakes? Did You Know…
    …that cupcakes are known as fairy cakes in Britain and patty cakes in Australia.
       
    ***
     
     
    The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest celebrates purposely awful opening sentences to imaginary novels. Here are the "best" from the past year.
    As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, "Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand a foot ahead."
    Through the verdant plains of North Umbria walked Waylon Ogglethorpe, and, as he walked, the clouds whispered his name, the birds of the air sang his praises, and the beasts of the fields from smallest to greatest said, "There goes the most noble among men"—in other words, a typical stroll for a schizophrenic ventriloquist with delusions of grandeur.
     
    ***
     
    Are you a redneck? Want to be one? Take the Redneck IQ test and see how well you fare. Don’t look for answers. If you need them, you’re no redneck.
    1) Which of these cars will rust out quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? ’65 Ford Fairlane ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle ’64 Pontiac GTO
    2) Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a ten-pound possum.
    3) A woodcutter has a chain saw, which operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. Here’s the question: How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
    4) If your uncle builds a still that produces 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
     
    ***
     
    Three guys are talking about what constitutes fame.
    The first guy defines it as being invited to the White House for a chat with the president.
    "Nah," says the second guy. "Real fame would be if the red phone rang when you were there, and the president wouldn't take the call."
    "You're both wrong," says the third. "Fame is when you're in the Oval Office and the red phone rings, the president answers it, listens for a second, and then says, "'It's for you.'"
     
    ***
     
    We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that 
fact. Anytime someone asked what his father did, he’d say,
    “He’s in the Army.”
    I told him umpteen times, “Stop telling people I’m in the Army!”
    It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form 
for kindergarten, under “father’s 
profession,” the teacher wrote,
    “He doesn’t know what his father does, but he’s not in the Army.”
     
     
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    Sadly, Irene Triplett, age 90, passed away on May 31, 2020. She was
    the last surviving child of a Civil War veteran.
    R.I.P
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    W O W !!!!!!
     
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    Music Soothes the Savage Beast(s)
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    MDBCs 17 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 807
    October 17th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Andrew of Crete Anstrudis Catervus Ethelred and Ethelberht Florentius of Orange François-Isidore Gagelin (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) Hosea Ignatius of Antioch John the Short (John Colobus) Marguerite Marie Alacoque (pre-1969 calendar, Visitadines) Nothhelm Rule of Andrew Richard Gwyn Victor of Capua October 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day for the Eradication of Poverty Loyalty Day (Argentina) National Police Day (Thailand)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day
    National Pasta Day
    Black Poetry Day
    Child Poverty Day
    Day of Dignity (Bolivia)
    Dessalines Day
    National Catholic Men’s Conference Day
    National Edge Day
    National Mulligan Day
    National Pay Back a Friend Day
    National Pharmacy Technician Day
    Pro-Life Day of Silent Solidarity
    Women in Military Service for America Memorial Anniversary
    World Trauma Day
    Forgive an Ex Day
    Spreadsheet Day
    National Playing Card Collection Day
     
    Mae Jemison’s Birthday
    John Rocker’s Birthday
    Marsau Scott’s Birthday
    Chris Motionless’s Birthday
    Rich Evans’s Birthday
    Arthur Miller’s Birthday
    Angela Babicz’s Birthday
    Andy Whitfield’s Birthday
    Alan Jackson’s Birthday
    Norm MacDonald’s Birthday
    Dina Morisset’s Birthday
    Evel Knievel’s Birthday
    Rita Hayworth’s Birthday
    Jaeda Lily Miller’s Birthday
    Wyclef Jean’s Birthday
    Eminem’s Birthday
    Lizzy Winkle’s Birthday
    Carli Bybel’s Birthday
    Alaïa McBroom’s Birthday
    Queen Naija’s Birthday
    Simply Nailogical’s Birthday
     
     
    Fun Observances
       Wear Something Gaudy  Day
    On October 17 is Wear Something Gaudy Day. Celebrate this unofficial holiday by wearing everything flashy, loud and gaudy in your wardrobe!

    It is believed that a Larry Dallas, a character in the American comedy show Three’s Company made up this bright and loud holiday. The show aired between 1977 and 1984 and follows the lives of three roommates in Santa Monica, California.
    The word gaudy is used to refer to things that are bright and flashy and usually tasteless and tacky.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wear something gaudy. Have a neon pink shirt? Pair it with bright neon green pants. Accessorize with more colorful jewelry and you are all set to celebrate this fun and colorful holiday. Own a bedazzler? Bedazzle your own outfit and shine throughout the day. Also plus point, if you bedazzled a sweater, you could reuse it on Ugly Sweater Day during the holidays. Did You Know…
    …that contrary to popular belief, the term gaudy does not come from the Spanish architect Antonio Gaudi? Etymologists have traced the usage of the word to the 16th century, well before Gaudi’s time. At that time, the word was used to refer trickery.
       
    ***
     
     
    After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.”
    Here’s what Siri sent: “You need 
to get back to work now; you have 
a has-been to support.”
     
    ***
     
    I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.”
    So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
     
    ***
     
    My sister decided to go on a diet, and that first evening she phoned me. I could tell her mouth was full, so I asked her what she was eating.
    "A cupcake," she mumbled. "I just got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a diet, so I'm rounding it off to 150."
     
    ***
     
    My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?"

    Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"
     
    ***
     
    I tried to explain to a client why I couldn’t help him with a project that was written in a program code that I didn’t know.
    “Let’s say you’re asking me to write something in a specific language. Now, I’m fluent in English and Spanish, but your project is in Chinese. Since 
I don’t understand Chinese, I’m not your best option. You need someone who is fluent in this specific language. See?”
    He said he did and thanked me.
    The next morning, I got a call from another developer asking,
    “Why is 
So-and-So asking us if we’re fluent 
in Chinese?”
     
     
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    sandrewn
     
     
  14. sandrewn

    MDBCs 16 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread CRumbs 806
    October 16th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Air Force Day (Bulgaria) Boss's Day (United States) Christian feast day: Balderic (Baudry) of Monfaucon Bercharius Bertrand of Comminges Colmán of Kilroot (Colman mac Cathbaid) Eliphius Fortunatus of Casei Gall Gerard Majella Hedwig of Silesia Hugh Latimer (Anglicanism) Junian (of Saint-Junien) Marguerite Marie Alacoque Marie-Marguerite d'Youville Nicholas Ridley (Anglicanism) Silvanus of Ahun Blessed Thevarparampil Kunjachan (Syro-Malabar Catholic Church / Catholic Church) Pope Victor III October 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Pope John Paul II Day (Poland) Death anniversary of Liaquat Ali Khan (Pakistan) Teachers' Day (Chile) World Food Day (International) Bu-Ma Democratic Protests Commemoration Day (South Korea)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Feral Cat Day
    Day of the Races
    Global Cat Day
    Heroes and Forefathers Day
    National Department Store Day
    National Eddie Day
    National Elaine Day
    National Heroes' Day of Jamaica
    National Liqueur Day
    National Trey Day
    National Veterans BBQ Day
    World Allergy Awareness Day
    World Spine Day
    National Boss’ Day
    Steve Jobs Day
     
    Oscar Wilde’s Birthday
    Paul Edwin Zimmer’s Birthday
    Manute Bol’s Birthday
    Naomi Osaka’s Birthday
    John Mayer’s Birthday
    Kai Jackson’s Birthday
    Hema Malini’s Birthday
    Angela Lansbury’s Birthday
    Carmen Pritchett’s Birthday
    Tom Schwartz’s Birthday
    Bob Weir’s Birthday
    Aphmau’s Birthday
    Angry Grandpa’s Birthday
    Ruby Rose Turner’s Birthday
    Ilya Fedorovich’s Birthday
    Suzanne Somers’s Birthday
    Aliya Janell’s Birthday
    Flea’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Oct 16th, 2023 - Fri Oct 20th, 2023
    National School Bus Safety Week
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Dictionary  Day
    Dictionary Day is on October 16. The unofficial holiday celebrates the birth anniversary of American lexicographer, Noah Webster.

    Born on October 16, 1758, Webster is best known for publishing An American Dictionary of the English Language, the precursor of the now famous and widely used Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
    Reference Book
    A dictionary is a reference book that lists words in a language and provides the meaning, origin and pronunciation of each listed word. The book also informs users on how to use a word in different circumstances.
    Semasiological, of Course
    Dictionaries are semasiological. Semasiology is the branch of linguistics that deals with the definition of words and phrases in a language. This is different from onomasiology, which deals with what things and concepts are called. A thesuarus is an onomasiological reference book because it provides users the different terms that can be used to express a specific idea.
    How to Celebrate?
    Pick up a dictionary and try to learn the meanings of at least 5 new words. Learn more about the history and science behind publishing dictionaries. Did You Know...
    ...that pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is the longest word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary? At 45 letters, the word refers to a lung disease.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    National Clean Out Your Virtual Desktop Day
    Take the third Monday of October to clean the mess on your desktop because it is National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day.

      Created by the Personal Computer Museum in Brantford, Ontario, Canada, the annual holiday was first celebrated in the around the world in 2010. The unofficial holiday encourages people to organize their desktop and the files on their computer.
    Find Your Files
    Just like in real life, it is very easy to collect useless and unimportant files on our computers and desktops. And just like when we are surrounded by clutter, we tend to get unproductive, a mess on our computer desktops can negatively affect our motivation and ability to work well. In addition, a cluttered desktop can not only slow down our computer, but it can also make finding files more difficult.
    This holiday promotes cleaning up and organizing your desktop so that when you work on your computer you are not bogged down by all the unnecessary and unimportant files.
    National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day is also sometimes known as Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Start off the week right by cleaning out your desktop. Organize all your folders and reclaim that picture of a sunny beach as your screensaver. Did You Know...
    ...that the early computers were the size of a room? That's a far cry from the tiny computers we are all familiar with today!
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Choosing a movie? Don’t trust these extremely abbreviated plot 
explanations. 
    The Shining: A family’s first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.
    The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.  
    Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.    
    Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.     
    The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet. 
     
    ***
     
    I’m employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is,
    M. Alware. His e-mail address is malware@company.com. 
    My ex-boss’s name is R. Stone. His e-mail was stoner@company.co.in. 
    My name is James Pan. Every other permutation of my name was taken (e.g., jpan, jamesp), so I’m stuck with japan@university.edu.
     
    ***
     
    The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
    “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.
    “The bad news is, your blood 
is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”
    “What’s the good news?”
    “Your cholesterol is 130.”
     
    ***
     
    I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while 
applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
    And it works. I already have three people following me—two 
police officers and a psychiatrist.
     
    ***
     
    The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest honors purposely lousy opening sentences for nonexistent novels.
    This entry from finalist Phillip Davies of Cardiff, Wales, gave us a very real laugh:
    “Finally, after 97 long days adrift, Captain Pertwee was 
rescued, mercifully ending his miserable diet of rainwater and strips of sun-dried Haddock—which was 
actually far ghastlier than it sounded, what with George Haddock being 
his former first mate.”
     
     
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    nice couple
     
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    Meanwhile, back at Walmart
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    MDBCs 15 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 805
    October 15th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the 1987 Coup d'État (Burkina Faso) Breast Health Day (Europe) Christian feast day: Bruno of Querfurt Cúan of Ahascragh Teresa of Ávila Thecla of Kitzingen October 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Evacuation Day (Tunisia) King Father's Commemoration Day (Cambodia) National Latino AIDS Awareness Day (United States) Shwmae Su'mae Day (Wales)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Dashain
    Global Handwashing Day
    International Day of Rural Women
    International: Dussehra
    Maharaja Agrasen Jayanti
    Mera Chaoren Houba
    Mother's Day in Malawi
    Mysore Dasara
    National Aesthetician Day
    National Cheese Curd Day
    National Grouch Day
    National HSA Awareness Day
    National Lemon Bar Day
    National Mushroom Day
    National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
    National Riley Day
    National Roast Pheasant Day
    Navratri
    Shine a Light Night
    Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day
    White Cane Safety Day
    World Students’ Day
    World Toy Camera Day
    National Chicken Cacciatore Day
     
    Sophia Birlem’s Birthday
    Mesut Özil’s Birthday
    Malu Trevejo’s Birthday
    Keyshia Cole’s Birthday
    Friedrich Nietzsche’s Birthday
    Ginuwine’s Birthday
    Daniel Gizmo’s Birthday
    Doug Hehner’s Birthday
    Billy Unger’s Birthday
    Anthony Joshua’s Birthday
    Audrey’s Birthday
    Abdul Kalam’s Birthday
    Zelo’s Birthday
    Jarrod Schulz’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Oct 15th, 2023 - Sat Oct 21st, 2023
    National Chemistry Week
     
    Fun Observances
    I Love Lucy  Day
    October 15 is I Love Lucy Day, a day devoted to everything I Love Lucy, a black-and-white sitcom that aired in the 1950s in the United States.

    One of the most watched television series of its time, the show is well known and popular around the world today. The unofficial holiday commemorates the day in 1951, when the show, starring real-life couple at that time, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, debuted on CBS.
    Singer and Performer
    I Love Lucy follows the lives of aspiring performer Lucy Ricardo, her singer husband Ricky Ricardo and their friends Ethel and Fred Mertz in New York City.
    While the show ended in 1957, a spinoff first known as the Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show and then as The Lucy–Desi Comedy Hour ran for three more years.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have an I Love Lucy-themed party and have guests dress up in 1950s style. Decorate your venue with 1950s style furniture and textiles and serve foods that were popular in the 1950s. Organize a marathon viewing session of the show with your friends and family. Did You Know…
    …that I Love Lucy is the only show in television history that has never stopped broadcasting since airing its first episode in 1951? Reruns of the show have been popular around the world after the show ended.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    As a freelance secretary, I type story manuscripts. When an author pays me, I print the name of the story across the top of his check. Once when I took a check to the bank, the teller suddenly froze. Only after I had explained my procedure to a bank officer did the reason for the teller's reaction become clear.
    The story was called "Your Money or Your Life," and that, of course, was what I had written in bold letters across the top of the check.
     
    ***
     
    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Wash., factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The solid-steel weights were bright yellow and marked "14,000 lbs." But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight.
    Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flight."  
     
    ***
     
    Louie and his wife are listening to the radio when they hear the weather report: "A snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street.” So Louie gets up and moves his car.

    Two days later—same thing. "A snow emergency has been declared,” blares the radio. "Park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street.” Louie gets up and does what he’s told.

    Three days later: "There will be a foot of snow today. Park your cars on the ...,” and then the power goes out.

    "What should I do?” a confused Louie asks his wife.

    "This time,” she says, "why don’t you just leave the car in the garage?”
     
    ***
     
    Ah, marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years:
    “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?”
    She answered,
    “I do.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    MDBCs 14 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 804
    October 14th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Angadrisma Fortunatus of Todi Joseph Schereschewsky (Episcopal Church (USA)) Pope Callixtus I October 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Intercession of the Theotokos Day of the Cathedral of the Living Pillar (Georgian Orthodox Church) Mother's Day (Belarus) National Education Day (Poland), formerly Teachers' Day Nyerere Day (Tanzania) Second Revolution Day (Yemen) World Standards Day (International)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Dessert Day
    Be Bald and Be Free Day
    National I Love You Day
    National Ryan Day
    National Veronica Day
    Bathukamma Starting Day
    Bookshop Day
    Chisinau City Day
    Day of the Defender
    I Love Yarn Day
    International African Penguin Awareness Day
    Mahalaya
    Mwalimu Nyerere Day
    National Chess Day
    National Costume Swap Day
    National Motorcycle Ride Day
    Universal Music Day
    World Hospice and Palliative Care Day
    Adventure Day
     
    Dwight D. Eisenhower’s Birthday
    Kamala Harris's Birthday
    Stephen A. Smith’s Birthday
    Usher’s Birthday
    Roger Moore’s Birthday
    Rowan Blanchard’s Birthday
    Lourdes Ciccone Leon’s Birthday
    Karyn White’s Birthday
    King James II’s Birthday
    Jason Plato’s Birthday
    Jared Goff’s Birthday
    Jelly’s Birthday
    Fernanda Ramirez’s Birthday
    Dillon the Hacker’s Birthday
    Carol Capel’s Birthday
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Just because the items in these classified ads are free doesn’t mean they’re worth it:
    Free: Piano with matching bench seat, very good condition, all keys work probably
    Free: 5 kitchen drawers, all matching naughty pine fronts
    Free: Vain Screening
    Free: rent in exchange for elderly woman
     
    ***
     
    We all make mistakes. Some 
are just more public than others, 
like these real newspaper typos:
    “Here the bridal couple stood, 
facing the floral setting, and exchanged cows.”
    “It took many rabbits many years to write the Talmud.” 
    “Mrs. ____ fell down stairs at her home this morning, breaking her myhodudududududududosy, and suffered painful injuries.” 
    “A headline in an item in the 
Feb. 15th edition incorrectly stated ‘Stolen Groceries.’ It should have read: ‘Homicide.’” 
     
    ***
     
    It’s tough enough selling a home nowadays. Don’t make the mistakes that turned off these readers on the City Room blog of The New York Times:
    "It was a good house, well-maintained. But the bed with the person in it was off-putting."
    "The family dog, long departed, was stuffed and standing next to the fireplace. RIP Sparky."
    "The main distraction was dirt. Although there was the tiny child who proudly showed us the refrigerator full of ‘Daddy’s beer’ just outside an upstairs bedroom."
     
    ***
     
    A long line leading to the ladies’ room greeted my friend’s wife. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend took her 
into the empty men’s room, then stood guard.
    When she exited a few minutes later, a man waiting his turn called out,
    “I hope you remembered to put up the toilet seat.”
     
     
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    Parking sensors
     
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    Taking your kid to go shopping at Walmart
     
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    Texas?
     
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    Free Ranging chickens (three catches per customer max)
     
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    Leprechaun cowboy???????
     
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    Attention, pickup in isle 14!!!!!!!
     
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    sandrewn
    (There was a glitch, I had to do it over, twice.)
  17. sandrewn

    MDBCs 13 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 803
    October 13th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Azerbaijani Railway Day (Azerbaijan) Christian feast day: Blessed Alexandrina of Balasar Daniel and companions, of Ceuta Edward the Confessor (translation) Gerald of Aurillac Blessed Maddalena Panattieri (OP) Theophilus of Antioch October 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Doi taikomatsuri October 13–15 (Shikokuchūō, Ehime, Japan) International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction (international) Paramedics' Day (Poland) Rwagasore Day (Burundi)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National No Bra Day
    Disaster Day - 1
    International Day for Disaster Reduction - 2
    International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction - 3
    Ancestors' Day
    English Language Day
    International Civility For the Girl Child Day
    International Day for Failure
    Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day
    National Herpes Awareness Day
    National M&M Day
    National Train Your Brain Day
    National Transfer Money to Your Son Day
    National Yorkshire Pudding Day
    Navy Birthday
    Pchum Ben
    Prince Louis Rwagasore Day
    Vet Nurse Day
    World Egg Day
    World Thrombosis Day
     
     
    Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Birthday
    Paul Pierce’s Birthday
    Paul Simon’s Birthday
    Margaret Thatcher’s Birthday
    Marie Osmond’s Birthday
    Ashanti’s Birthday
    Layla Spring’s Birthday
    Kate Walsh’s Birthday
    Jerry Rice’s Birthday
    Jimin’s Birthday
    Jerry Jones’s Birthday
    Caleb McLaughlin’s Birthday
    Sammy Hagar’s Birthday
    Shirley Caesar’s Birthday
    Tisha Campbell-Martin’s Birthday
    Taylor Alesia’s Birthday
    Billionaire Black’s Birthday
    Kendra Bailey’s Birthday
    Kim Vanderhee’s Birthday
    Tiffany Trump's Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
       International Skeptics  Day
    Are you one of those people who takes everything they hear with a grain of salt? Do you question everything and never accept things at their face value? Then, International Skeptics Day on October 13 is the holiday for you.

    This unofficial holiday is sometimes also celebrated on January 13. Or is it?
    Whether you are skeptical of when the holiday is celebrated or not, we can all agree that the day encourages people to be skeptical and to never accept anything without questioning its veracity.
    Attitude of Doubt
    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, skepticism is an attitude of doubt towards a particular object or a piece of knowledge, whether it is philosophical, religious or scientific. It is only with this attitude that human society and its understanding of the world around it has been able to evolve and develop - many scientific claims, myths and hoaxes throughout history have been brought to light and debunked due to the hard work of skeptics who refused to stop questioning and doubting. Who knows, without Galileo Galilei's skepticism, for example, we may still be believing that the Sun moves around the Earth?
    How to Celebrate?
    Be skeptical (or sceptical if you live in a country that follows British English) of everything! Don't accept any claims made by family, friends, colleagues or strangers without doing your own research. Is there a mystery that intrigues you? Try solving it! Know of someone who believes in UFOs, the Loch Ness Monster or the Big Foot? Maybe it's time to sit with them and ask them to be skeptical about their claims? Watch TV shows that debunk myths and pseudoscience. We recommend Penn and Teller's show and Mythbusters. Read books written by literary skeptics such as Shakespeare and Herman Melville. Did You Know...
    ...that the opposite of skepticism is trivialism, the notion that everything is true and possible? The word comes from the Latin word, trivialis, meaning commonplace.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat."
    "Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?" asked the collie.
    "I can't," replied the poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."
     
    ***
     
    Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
    "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.
    "I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."
    The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries.
    "He says you're gonna die."
     
    ***
     
    A pair of cows were talking in the field.
    One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
    "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
     
    ***
     
    Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents:
    Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
    Son: Why is that funny?
    Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
    Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
    Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.
    ~~~~
    Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
    Mom: WTF!
    Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
    Mom: Well That’s Fantastic.
    ~~~~
    Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
    Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
    Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.
     
     
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      sandrewn
  18. sandrewn

    MDBCs 12 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 802
    October 12th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Louis Brisson Edith Cavell and Elizabeth Fry (Church of England) Fiacc Our Lady of the Pillar (Fiestas del Pilar) Our Lady of Aparecida Radim Gaudentius (Czech Republic) Seraphin of Montegranaro Wilfrid of Ripon Carlo Acutis October 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Children's Day (Brazil) Discovery of America by Columbus-related observances (see also October 8😞 Columbus Day (Honduras) Día de la Hispanidad or Fiesta Nacional de España, also Armed Forces Day (Spain) Día de la Raza (El Salvador, Uruguay) Día de la Resistencia Indígena, "Day of Indigenous Resistance" (Venezuela) Día de las Américas (Belize) Día de las Culturas, "Day of the Cultures" (Costa Rica) Día del Respeto a la Diversidad Cultural, "Day of respect for cultural diversity" (Argentina) Discovery Day (The Bahamas, Colombia) Feast for Life of Aleister Crowley, celebrated as "Crowleymas" (Thelema) Fiesta Nacional de España (Spain) Freethought Day Hafez Day (Iran) Independence Day (Equatorial Guinea), celebrates the independence of Equatorial Guinea from Spain in 1968. International Day Against DRM  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Harry Potter Book Day
    World Sight Day
    Mexico: Day of the Pluricultural Nation
    National Gumbo Day
    National Martin Day
    National Pulled Pork Day
    National Savings Day
    National Vermont Day
    World Arthritis Day
     
    Aleister Crowley’s Birthday
    Darci Lynne Farmer’s Birthday
    Dick Gregory’s Birthday
    Hugh Jackman’s Birthday
    Josh Hutcherson’s Birthday
    Kirk Cameron’s Birthday
    Kelvin Dukes’s Birthday
    Lane Frost’s Birthday
    Tahlia Christou’s Birthday
    Alyssa Scott’s Birthday
    Eisha Hickson’s Birthday
    Tyson Jenkins’s Birthday
    Erica Dixon’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
       Old Farmers  Day
    October 12 is Old Farmers Day, a day devoted to old farmers and their farming techniques.

    Agriculture and farming today is largely mechanized and very scientific, but these developments would not have been possible without the wisdom and hard work of old farmers. This day is to give them thanks, to listen to them and to their stories, and to learn from them and their techniques.
    While the origins of the holiday are unknown, Old Farmers Day is celebrated by many as a throwback to sustainable and farm-to-table farming practices of the old days.
    Varied Culture and History
    Farming and agriculture have a long and varied history in every culture. Despite the differences on what is grown, how farming is done and what materials are used, one thing remains common to all agricultural societies - the farmer. Farmers are the lifeline of agriculture - they tend to the agricultural product from the time of sowing to the time it reaches the market. It is because of hardworking farmers around the world, that most of us have food on our tables every day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn about old farming techniques. If you own a farm, farm today using old farmers tools. If you have an old farmer in your life, take them out for lunch and listen to their stories and ask for their wisdom. Not a farmer? That shouldn't stop you from celebrating this fun holiday. Visit your local farmer's market and patronize your local farms. Buy only locally grown food and locally raised meat. Get involved in your local farm-to-table movement. Did You Know...
    ...that according to scientists, almost 40% of the Earth's land is used for agricultural purposes?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    When a fellow piano tuner was ill, I took over his assignment of tuning a piano in a girls' boardinghouse. While I was at work, several of the girls strolled casually through the room in various states of undress. The climax came when a young lady in startling deshabille appeared to pay the bill.
    As I was writing the receipt, she suddenly gave me a bewildered look, then fled, screaming, "That's not our regular man!"
    Their regular man is blind.  
     
    ***
     
    A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."
    The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"
    The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
     
    ***
     
    Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. To decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
    "Break it to her gently," they all urge.
    "Leave it to me," he says. When Smith's wife comes to the door, Anderson says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
    "How much?" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "Tell him to drop dead!"
     
    ***
     
    Two men have been ice fishing 
all day. One has had no luck, while the other has pulled out a ton of fish.
    “What’s your secret?” asks the 
unlucky fisherman.
    “Mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm,” is the reply.
    “I’m sorry; what did you say?”
    “Mmmmm mmm mm mmm.”
    “I still didn’t understand you.”
    The lucky fisherman spits something into his hand and says slowly and clearly, “You’ve got to keep your worms warm.”
     
     
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    (Thank you, Mom and Dad)
    (Rest in Peace)
     
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    Shades of " Romeo and Juliet "
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    sandrewn
  19. sandrewn

    MDBCs 11 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs (2) 11 Oct 2023
    October 11th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Agilbert Alexander Sauli Andronicus, Probus, and Tarachus (Roman Catholic Church) Æthelburh of Barking Bruno the Great Cainnech of Aghaboe Gratus of Oloron Gummarus James the Deacon (Church of England, Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodox Church) Lommán of Trim Maria Soledad Torres y Acosta Nectarius of Constantinople Nicasius, Quirinus, Scubiculus, and Pientia Philip the Evangelist Pope John XXIII (Roman Catholic Church) Zenaida and Philonella October 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) General Pulaski Memorial Day (United States) International Day of the Girl Child International Newspaper Carrier Day National Coming Out Day Revolution Day (North Macedonia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Sausage Pizza Day
    Black Girl Day Off
    National Pet Obesity Day
    Emergency Nurses Day
    International Top Spinning Day
    National Bring Your Teddy Bear to School Day
    National Curves Day
    National Fossil Day
    National Kim Day
    National Kimberly Day
    National Peyronie’s Disease Awareness Day
    National Spread Joy Day
    National Stop Bullying Day
    National Take Your Parents To Lunch Day
    Southern Food Heritage Day
     
    Cardi B’s Birthday
    Phora’s Birthday
    Luke Perry’s Birthday
    Matt Bomer’s Birthday
    Steve Young’s Birthday
    Daryl Hall’s Birthday
    Brandon Flynn’s Birthday
    Frank Fritz’s Birthday
    MC Lyte’s Birthday
    Amitabh Bachchan’s Birthday
    Gabe Saporta’s Birthday
    Younan Nowzaradan’s Birthday
    Adonis Graham’s Birthday
    Walter Bowser’s Birthday
    Fenix Flexin’s Birthday
    Brody Dempsey’s Birthday
    Ratchet Noblewolf’s Birthday
    FunnyBunny’s Birthday
    Rhett McLaughlin’s Birthday
    Toby Fox’s Birthday
    Lev Cameron Khmelev’s Birthday
    Erin Kinsey’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
       It's My Party  Day
    October 11 is It’s My Party Day, a great excuse to have a party for no reason at all! All you need to do is to invite all your friends and family to a fun party!

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, it is safe to say that it encourages people throwing a party to celebrate themselves.
    How to Celebrate?
    While one never needs a reason to have a party, It’s My Party Day is a great justification for throwing a bash just because you can! Here are some ways you can celebrate this fun holiday:
    Have a party of course! Send out invitations, decorate the venue, make all your favorite party foods, put on some fun music and let the party begin! Too tired to organize a party by yourself? What about meeting your friends at a restaurant or at the park? Who says parties have to be at home? Did You Know...
    ...that according to the Guinness Book of World Records the longest dance party lasted for 55 hours? The party took place in Wexford, Ireland on October 29, 2006.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    The 16th tee featured a fairway that ran along a road. The first golfer in a foursome teed off and hooked the ball. It soared over the fence and bounced onto the street, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and ricocheted back onto the fairway.
    As they all stood in amazement, one of the golfer's friends asked, "How did you do that?"
    The golfer shrugged. "You have to know the bus schedule."
     
    ***
     
    Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. Old musicians never die, they just get played out. Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal. Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged. Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation.  
    ***
     
    Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said.
    "What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student.
    "Sadness," he replied.
    "The opposite of depression?" he asked another student.
    "Elation," he replied.
    "The opposite of woe?" the prof asked a young woman from Texas.
    The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddyup."
     
    ***
     
    I’m at the library, and for some reason, when I plug my flash drive into the computer, it doesn’t show up. I keep trying, but nothing happens.
    As an IT major, I know I can figure this out. So I spend 15 minutes changing settings and inserting and removing the flash drive.
    Then a girl sitting next to me taps my shoulder and says,
    “You’re plugging into my computer, not yours.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    MDBCs 10 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 800
    October 10th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (Poland) Army Day (Sri Lanka) Capital Liberation Day (Vietnam) Christian feast day: Blessed Angela Truszkowska Cerbonius Daniel Comboni Eulampius and Eulampia Gereon and companions Blessed María Catalina Irigoyen Echegaray (Maria Desposorios) Paulinus of York (in England) Pinytus Tanca Vida Dutton Scudder (Episcopal Church) Viktor of Xanten October 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Sint Maarten) Curaçao Day, anniversary of autonomy Double Ten Day (The National Day of Republic of China), celebrates outbreak of the Wuchang Uprising in 1911 that led to founding of the Republic of China in 1912 Fiji Day, celebrates the independence of Fiji from United Kingdom in 1970 Finnish Literature Day (Finland) Independence Day, commemorates the proclamation of Cuba's independence from Spain and the beginning of the Ten Years' War in 1868. Party Foundation Day (North Korea) World Day Against the Death Penalty World Mental Health Day World Porridge Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    SHIFT10 Day
    World Homeless Day
    Huduma Day
    International Stage Management Day
    Local Government Day
    Maroons Day - 1
    Maroons Day - 2
    National Angel Food Cake Day
    National Cake Decorating Day
    NATIONAL FACE YOUR FEARS DAY
    National Hug a Drummer Day
    National Hug a Kevin Day
    National Porter Day
    World Animal Road Accident Awareness Day
    World Inclusion Day
    World Plant-based Burger Day
    Own Business Day
     
    Rekha’s Birthday
    Mya’s Birthday
    Pressley Hosbach’s Birthday
    Marjorie Harvey’s Birthday
    Meli V’s Birthday
    Brett Favre’s Birthday
    Mario Lopez’s Birthday
    David Lee Roth’s Birthday
    Lzzy Hale’s Birthday
    Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s Birthday
    Dan Stevens’s Birthday
    Da'Vinchi’s Birthday
    Cherliz Cohen’s Birthday
    Chaz Smith’s Birthday
    Tanya Tucker’s Birthday
    Marina Diamandis’s Birthday
    Thelonious Monk’s Birthday
    Bae Suzy’s Birthday
    Gavin Newsom
     
    Fun Observances (2)
       Handbag  Day
    Handbag Day is celebrated annually on October 10.
                            
    Created in 2013 by Purseblog, a blog that follows the fashion and handbag industry, Handbag Day recognizes the importance of handbags in daily life and in fashion, and acknowledges that a handbag is not only an essential item in a person’s closet, but is also a simple way to make a style statement.
    The unofficial holiday encourages people to share pictures of their handbags and show their love for this fashion accessory on social media websites.
    How to Celebrate?
    Go out and get that high-end handbag you have been eyeing the whole year. Is your handbag a place where things go in to get lost? Perhaps today is the time to clean it out and organize it. Did You Know…
    …that in the early 1900s, handbag was a term used to refer to men's hand baggage?
    ~~~~~~~~
    Ada Lovelace Day
    Ada Lovelace Day is celebrated annually on the second Tuesday of October.

      Named after Ada Lovelace, the world’s first computer programmer, the day not only commemorates the lives of women in the field of science, technology, engineering and math (STEM), but also encourages girls and young women to enter careers in these fields.
    Any Date in October
    Ada Lovelace Day began in 2009 after an extensive online campaign in the United Kingdom. About 2000 people blogged about women in sciences and technology on March 24, 2009, a practice that has since become an Ada Lovelace Day tradition. There is no fixed date for Ada Lovelace Day. According to the organizers of the day, the choice of the date for the day is arbitrary.
    Analytical Engine
    Ada Lovelace was an English mathematician who worked with Charles Babbage on his calculating engine, called the Analytical Engine. Her plan to calculate Bernoulli numbers using the engine is now widely considered as the world's first computer program.
    In 1980, the United States Department of Defense created a programming language and named it Ada in honor of Ada Lovelace's contribution to the world of computing.
    How to Celebrate
    Honor the women in your life who are in the STEM fields. Encourage the young girls in your life to pursue one of the STEM fields as a career. Buy the young girls in your life science kits, building games and books that make them interested in science. Read more about women scientists and their contribution to the world. Did You Know…
    …that Mary Shaw became the first woman to get a Ph.D. in Computer Science from Carnegie Mellon University in 1972?
     
     
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    My sister Darlene has the courage—but not always the skills—to tackle any home-repair project. For example, in her garage are pieces of a lawn mower she once tried to fix. So I wasn't surprised the day my other sister, Jesse, and I found Darlene attacking her vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. "I can't get this thing to cooperate," she explained.
    "Why don't you drag it out to the garage and show it the lawn mower?" Jesse suggested.  
     
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    After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire.
    "But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"
     
    ***
     
    A guy walks into a bar and there's a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse tending bar before?"
    The guy says, "It's not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place."
     
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    I was cuddling with my girlfriend, and she said, “I love lying here with you.”
    “I once caught a fish, and it was five feet long and spoke Hebrew,” I replied. She stared at me, confused. “That was my lie,” I said.
    “Oh, right. I see. Very funny,” she said. She paused a moment before rolling over. “That was my lie.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  21. sandrewn

    MDBCs 09 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 799
    October 9th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abraham Denis Dionysius the Areopagite Ghislain Innocencio of Mary Immaculate and Martyrs of Asturias John Henry Newman John Leonardi Luis Beltran Robert Grosseteste (Church of England) Wilfred Grenfell (Episcopal Church (USA)) October 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Fire Prevention Day (Canada, United States) Hangul Day (South Korea) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Uganda from United Kingdom in 1962. (Uganda) Independence of Guayaquil from Spain in 1820 (Ecuador) Leif Erikson Day (United States, Iceland and Norway) National Day of Commemorating the Holocaust (Romania) National Nanotechnology Day (United States) Takayama Autumn Festival (Takayama, Japan) World Post Day Indian Foreign Service Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Indigenous Peoples’ Day - 1
    National Native American Day - 2
    National C60 Day
    Columbus Day
    Health and Sports Day (Japan)
    International Beer and Pizza Day
    International: Day of respect for cultural diversity
    Lao: Boat Racing Festival
    Lotu a Tamaiti Holiday
    National Digitool Day
    National Heritage Day in Turks and Caicos
    National Heroes' Day of Bahamas
    National Kick Butt Day
    National Moldy Cheese Day
    National Online Bank Day
    National Pro-Life Cupcake Day
    Saint Barthélemy: Abolition Day
    Scrubs Day
    Canadian Thanksgiving
     
    Zachery Ty Bryan’s Birthday
    Sean Lennon’s Birthday
    Sharon Osbourne’s Birthday
    Lecrae Moore’s Birthday
    Scotty McCreery’s Birthday
    John Lennon’s Birthday
    Jackson Browne’s Birthday
    Eddie Guerrero’s Birthday
    Cody Jones’s Birthday
    Bella Hadid’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Oct 09th, 2023 - Sun Oct 15th, 2023
    Hospice Care Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Curious Events Day Love conspiracy theories? Enjoy pondering about bizarre events that seem to have no explanations? Then Curious Events Day, a made-up holiday celebrated every year on October 9, is just the holiday you need to celebrate!

    While the origins of this curious holiday are unknown, we suspect that the creators of this day wanted people to stop worrying about the small things in life and focus their attention on all the inexplicable, baffling and peculiar mysteries of the world.
    Small or Big Events
    Life is full of curious events - big and small. Like for example, where do all those socks disappear to after doing laundry, or why do people open their mouths when applying mascara? Some mysteries have occupied curious and adventurous minds around the world. These include: Who made the stonehenge and for what purpose? Does Bigfoot exist and can ghosts communicate with humans? And then there are the bigger, more philosophical mysteries of life - like what happens when we die or what is what is beyond the edge of the universe?
    How to Celebrate?
    No matter what kind of curious events interest you, Curious Events Day is a holiday to spend some time being inquisitive about the world around you.
    Read or watch documentaries about some of the more famous curious incidents and events that have happened in the history of humankind – disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle, sightings of the Yeti and the Loch Ness monster, crop circles, UFO sightings in Roswell. Become a sleuth yourself and try to find explanations of curious events that intrigue you. Did You Know...
    ...that the English language idiom curiosity killed the cat, means that getting curious and prying into other people's affairs can get one into trouble?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q: What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work?
    A: Break fluid
    ***
    Q: If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
    A: Goblet.
    ***
    When a Butterball Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in (meaning how thawed was it) the caller responded with, “Florida.”
    ***
    A gentleman called Butterball's Thanksgiving Turkey Talk-Line to tell the operator he cut his turkey in half with a chain saw and wanted to know if the oil from the chain would adversely affect the turkey.
    ***
    One caller to Butterball's Thanksgiving Turkey Talk-Line had always cut the legs off the turkey before putting it in the oven, thinking that was how you had to cook a turkey. She later learned that the only reason her mom had been doing that was because their oven had been so small that that was the only way to get the bird into the oven!
     
    ***
     
    After my three-year-old begged and begged, I gave in and 
let her attend a concert with her older sister and brother. As we 
took our seats, I handed programs 
to the kids.
    Following the lead of her siblings, my three-year-old opened her program and announced,
    “I’ll have the chicken.”
     
     
    ***
     

    He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal, so he changed the sign to read
    "Fridge for sale $50".
    The next day someone stole it.
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    MDBCs 05 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 795
    October 5th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    World Space Week (October 4–10) Armed Forces Day (Indonesia) Christian feast day: Anna Schäffer Faustina Kowalska Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos (Roman Catholic Church) Blessed Bartolo Longo Thraseas Hor and Susia (Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria) Placid and Maurus Placidus (martyr) October 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Vanuatu) Engineer's Day (Bolivia) International Day of No Prostitution Republic Day (Portugal) Teachers' Day (Pakistan) Teachers' Day (Russia) World Teachers' Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Balloons Around the World Day
    National Do Something Nice Day
    Bring Your Bible To School Day
    Hoshana Rabbah
    Global James Bond Day
    National Get Funky Day
    Country Inn Bed & Breakfast Day
    Kiribati: Education Day
    National Above the Bus Day
    National Apple Betty Day
    National Be Nice Day
    National Caribbean Civility Day
    National Depression Screening Day
    National Kiss a Wrestler Day
    National Poetry Day
    National Military Podcast Day
    National Rhode Island Day
    World Meningitis Day
     
    Nicky Hilton’s Birthday
    Rachel Brathen’s Birthday
    Mario Lemieux’s Birthday
    Neil deGrasse Tyson’s Birthday
    Bernie Mac’s Birthday
    Mahogany LOX’s Birthday
    Jesse Eisenberg’s Birthday
    Joe Torgerson’s Birthday
    James Valentine’s Birthday
    Gerardo Ortiz’s Birthday
    Erica Banks’s Birthday
    Dillon Francis’s Birthday
    Steve Miller’s Birthday
    Aaron Carpenter’s Birthday
    Kate Winslet’s Birthday
    Travis Kelce’s Birthday
    Jada Symone’s Birthday
    Sarah Schauer’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Chic Spy Day
    October 5 is Chic Spy Day, a day to acknowledge that a well-dressed spy is always more successful in catching the bad guys than a scruffy one.

    The unofficial holiday is a tribute to the elegant and stylish spies in popular culture and was created in 2015 by chicspy.com, a fashion website. It commemorates the anniversary of the day in 1962, when the chicest spy of all – James Bond – made his debut on the big screen in a movie called Dr. No. Starring Sean Connery and Bond, the film was based on a novel of the same name by Ian Fleming.
    Fashionable and Resourceful
    The spy genre of movies has frequently featured sophisticated and well-dressed protagonists who are not only equipped with fighting skills that can put a ninja to shame, but are also charming, attractive and immensely likable. All spies - men or women - in movies tend to own state-of-the-art espionage and surveillance equipment.
    As a genre, spy movies are as old as the film industry. They became especially popular during the Second World War and the Cold War era. Today, spy movies tend to focus on themes such as terrorism and governmental corruption.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a favorite spy? Spend the day watching his or her movies. Watch Dr. No and all of James Bond's movies. Have a spy party. Ask your guests to dress up like their favorite spy; serve shaken, not stirred martinis; and share notes about why you think your favorite spy is the chicest. Did You Know…
    …that even though Dr. No was the first James Bond film, Casino Royale was the first Bond novel ever published?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q. How do you make the number one disappear?
    A. Add the letter G and then presto—it's Gone!
    ***
    Q. There's a one-story house where everything inside is pink: pink walls, pink doors, pink floors, pink ceilings, pink windows, pink curtains, pink chairs, and pink tables.
    What color are the stairs?
    A. There are none—it's a one-story house!
    ***
    Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan 
of the expression “The worst day 
of fishing is better than the 
best day at work.” “I’ve watched The Deadliest 
Catch on Discovery,” 
he said. “I’ve never once 
been at work, capsized in 
40-degree water, watched all my coworkers die, and been like, ‘Hey, at least we’re fishin’.’”
    ***
    If you stop eating doughnuts you will live three years longer, but it's just three more years that you'll want a doughnut.
    ***
    A few weeks? after the death of my father-in-law, I found my seven-year-old son crying in bed. His grandmother had died the previous year, and he was taking it all very hard. "You know, Kyle," I said, "when we die, we'll get to see Grandma and Grandpa again in heaven."

    With tears spilling down his face, Kyle cried, "That's easy for you to say. You don't have that long!"   ***
     
    Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.
    “I blame the general manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we’d be a great team.”
    “I blame the players,” said the 
second fan. “If they made more of 
an effort, we’d score some points.”
    “I blame my parents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Seattle, 
I’d be supporting a decent team.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    MDBCs 08 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 798
    October 8th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Evodus (or Yves) Palatias and Laurentia Pelagia (Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic Churches) Reparata San Ernesto, Che Guevara as a folk saint. (Bolivian campesinos) Simeon (Gospel of Luke) Thaïs William Dwight Porter Bliss and Richard T. Ely (Episcopal Church) October 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) World Space Week (October 4–10) Air Force Day (India) Arbor Day (Namibia) Children's Day (Iran) Navy Day (Peru)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Alvin C. York Day
    American Touch Tag Day
    International Blessings of The Fishing Fleet Day
    Honduras: Discovery of America Day
    Pastor Appreciation Day
    Simchat Torah
    White Sunday
    World Dyslexia Day
    International Birth Registration Day
    International Newspaper Carrier Day
    National Fluffernutter Day
    National Harbormaster Appreciation Day
    National Heroes’ Day
    National Justin Day
    National Lance Day
    National Salmon Day
    World Octopus Day
    International Podiatry Day
     
    Bella Thorne's Birthday
    Mikan Mandarin’s Birthday
    Bruno Mars’s Birthday
    Matt Damon's Birhday
    Nick Cannon's Birthday
    Nava Rose’s Birthday
    Jack Doherty’s Birthday
    G Herbo’s Birthday
    Jesse Jackson’s Birthday
    Louise Hay’s Birthday
    Sigourney Weaver’s Birthday
    Famous Ocean’s Birthday
    Funny Mike’s Birthday
    Elz the Witch’s Birthday
    Chevy Chase’s Birthday
    Cara Gosselin’s Birthday
    Gauri Khan’s Birthday
    Grayson Allen’s Birthday
    The Miz’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Oct 08th, 2023 - Sat Oct 14th, 2023
    Fire Prevention Week
     
    Fun Observances
       Pierogi  Day
    October 8 is Pierogi Day, a day to stock up your fridge with delicious dumplings made of unleavened dough.

    Usually stuffed with meat, potatoes, vegetables and fruit, pierogi have become popular in the United States and Canada due to large Polish immigrant population.
    Considered to be one of Poland's national dish, pierogi are first boiled and then served several at a time with melted butter or fried with onions.
    Pierogi Fest
    In Eastern Europe, most countries have their own version of this dumpling. In the United States, pierogi are a popular dish in Polish communities and many events are held in honor of this humble but delicious dish. In Whiting, Indiana, a pierogi fest is held for 3 days in July, while in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, every Pittsburgh Pirates baseball home game features a pierogi race, where runners in pierogi costumes compete in a race.
    How to Celebrate?
    Visit your local Polish restaurant and order yourself a big plate of pierogis. Make sweet and savory pierogis at home and serve to family and friends. Did You Know...
    ...that people in the village of Glendon in Alberta, Canada love pierogi so much that in 1993 they constructed a 25 feet tall fibreglass pierogi, with a fork through it?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Don't ever pay a surprise visit to a child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my son's campus during a business trip. Locating what I thought was his fraternity house, I rang the doorbell. "Yeah?" a voice called from inside.

    "Does Dylan Houseman live here?"

    "Yup," the voice answered. "Leave him on the front porch. We'll drag him in later."
     
    ***
     
    I spent an afternoon helping my boyfriend move into a new home. In one carton I found a crockpot, with an odd-looking and very dirty metal lid. Later I ushered my boyfriend into the kitchen and asked why he hadn't mentioned this perfectly good pot.
    He stared at it, then replied,
    "Well, after I broke the lid I never thought of replacing it with a hubcap."
     
    ***
     
    It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Jeep started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I'd deal with it. I hadn't reckoned on my little tattletales, however.
    They rushed into the house with the news: "Daddy, the Jeep was breaking down, but Mom made the noise stop!"

    Impressed, my husband asked, "How did you fix it?"

    "I turned up the volume on the radio," I confessed.
     
    ***
     
    During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio.
    There was bound to be trouble, and 
I was right, because suddenly, he 
fell silent—eyebrows arched, brain overloaded.
    After a long pause, he thundered, “The alphabet?!”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    MDBCs 07 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 797
    October 7th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Justina of Padua Henry Muhlenberg (some Lutheran Churches, Episcopal Church of the USA) Osgyth Our Lady of the Rosary Pope Mark Sergius and Bacchus October 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Teachers' Day (Laos)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta
    Frugal Fun Day
    International Day of Peaceful Communication
    National Forgiveness & Happiness Day
    National Inner Beauty Day
    National Jonathan Day
    National LED Light Day
    Shemini Atzeret
    World Cotton Day
    You Matter To Me Day
    National Bathtub Day
    National Mead Day
    Team Margot Stem Cell and Bone Marrow Awareness Day
     
    Simon Cowell’s Birthday
    Mookie Betts’s Birthday
    Matthew Roloff’s Birthday
    Holland Roden’s Birthday
    KITTENS’s Birthday
    John Mellencamp’s Birthday
    Toni Braxton’s Birthday
    Lay’s Birthday
    LDShadowLady’s Birthday
    Krissy Cela’s Birthday
    Kira Kosarin’s Birthday
    Joyce Hawkins’s Birthday
    Kiara Green’s Birthday
    Joy Behar’s Birthday
    Trinity Trinity and Beyond’s Birthday
    Brittani Lancaster’s Birthday
    Jazmine Hood’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Frappé  Day
    Whether you pronounce it with an emphasis on the accented e (frapay) or with a silent e (frap), we can all agree that the chilled and frothed coffee is yummy. Celebrate this beverage on October 7 or Frappé Day.

    Made by blending instant coffee, milk and crushed ice, Frappés originated in Greece. According to popular lore, the drink was accidentally created by a distributor of Nestle products in the Greek city of Thessaloniki during the 1957 Thessaloniki International Fair. Today, the frappé is a popular coffee drink all over the world.
    In the New England region of the United States, the term Frappe (pronounced as frap) refers to milkshakes. Many coffee shops offer Frappés in a variety of flavors and with or without coffee.
    How to Celebrate?
    Visit your favorite coffee shop and treat yourself to a frappé. Start the day with making a frappé from scratch at home. Experiment with flavors - add chocolate to the drink or honey or maple syrup instead of sugar. Add ice cream to it to make it into a decadent dessert drink. Did You Know…
    …that the word frappé comes from the French word for beating or striking together?.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Card Making Day
    Need a special way to tell your loved ones how much you care for them? Why not hand make a card for them on Card Making Day?

      Celebrated annually on the first Saturday in October, the day first began in 2006 and was created by Paper Craft magazine as a way to encourage crafters to get a head start on the holiday season.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make a few handmade cards. Get together with friends and family and have a craft party – create multiple cards and exchange them, so you will have several different unique cards to send to your family and friends during the holidays. Did You Know…
    …that the ancient Chinese used to exchange new year messages?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. “Can you tell me what kind it is?” she asked.
    “Can you describe it?” I asked.
    “Yes,” she said. “It’s long and thin.”
     
    ***
     
    I spotted several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair.
    He shook his head. “I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”
     
    ***
     
    When my customer ordered 
iced tea, I asked, “Sweetened or 
unsweetened?”
    Her answer: “What’s the difference?”
     
    ***
     
    Looking for a job? Here’s one posted on Craigslist:
    “$40K a Year to Attend Harvard University as Me.”
    Requirements include a 4.0 GPA in high school or a 3.5 GPA in college. Only males need apply, since, as the listing tells us, “I have a male name.”
    The lucky person tapped for the gig doesn’t have to do much other than “attend all classes, pass all tests, 
and finish all assigned work while pretending you are me.”
    Don’t worry about having to actually get into 
the Ivy League school:
    “I’ve already taken care of that,” he says.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    MDBCs 06 Oct 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 796
    October 6th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Marie Rose Durocher Blessed Juan de Palafox y Mendoza Bruno of Cologne Faith Mary Frances of the Five Wounds Pardulphus Sagar of Laodicea October 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) William Tyndale (commemoration, Anglicanism), with Myles Coverdale (Episcopal Church (USA)) World Space Week (October 4–10) Day of Commemoration and National Mourning (Turkmenistan) Dukla Pass Victims Day (Slovakia) German-American Day (United States) Memorial Day for the Martyrs of Arad (Hungary) Teachers' Day (Sri Lanka) Yom Kippur War commemorations: Armed Forces Day (Egypt) Tishreen Liberation Day (Syria)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Noodle Day
    Honduras: Discovery of America Day
    Inbox Zero Day
    Kids Music Day
    Manufacturing Day
    National Badger Day
    National Body Language Day
    National Coaches Day
    National Energy Geek Day
    National Isabella Day
    National Orange Wine Day
    National Plus Size Appreciation Day
    National Transfer Money to Your Daughter Day
    October Liberatory War
    World Cerebral Palsy Day
    National Physician Assistant Day
    Plaidurday
    Wakey Wakey Hospice PJ Day
     
    Trevor Lawrence’s Birthday
    Vaughn Raines Jr.’s Birthday
    Ryan's World’s Birthday
    Surya Chandrasekaran’s Birthday
    Melanie Robbins’s Birthday
    Monique Samuels’s Birthday
    King Badger’s Birthday
    LeBron James Jr.’s Birthday
    Joe Goldberg’s Birthday
    Hadley Horner’s Birthday
    GreekGodx’s Birthday
    Fannie Lou Hamer’s Birthday
    Addison Rae’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Mad Hatter Day
    Celebrated annually on October 6, Mad Hatter Day celebrates the Hatter, a key character in Lewis Carol’s Alice in Wonderland.

    The unofficial holiday was created in 1986 in Boulder Colorado by a group of computer technicians who were inspired by the Hatter and his antics in the epic fantasy novel.
    In the book, the Hatter is an eccentric milliner for whom time is forever stuck at a tea party with his friend the March Hare.
    10/6
    The date for the holiday was chosen because of how John Tenniel illustrated the Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. The English illustrator who was also a political cartoonist depicted the Hatter wearing a hat with a piece of paper that has 10/6 written on it. The 10/6 refers to the cost of a hat – 10 shillings and 6 pence. The creators of the holiday who are from the United States where the date is written in the month/day (mm/dd) format took this to set the date for the holiday on October 6 (10/6). For those who write the date in the day/ month (dd/mm) format, the holiday would fall on June 10.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read Alice in Wonderland. Watch the movies based on the novel. Wear a hat the whole day. Host an Alice in Wonderland themed tea party. Did You Know...
    ...that even though this holiday is called Mad Hatter Day and that the Hatter is also popularly known as the Mad Hatter, Lewis Carol never refers to the character as the Mad Hatter?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    World Smile Day
    The first Friday of October every year is celebrated around the globe as World Smile Day. The unofficial holiday encourages people to do acts of kindness to spread good will and cheer.

    First started in 1999 by the creator of the smiley, Harvey Ball, the holiday celebrates the intent behind the now universally recognized icon - to bring a smile of the faces of people around the world. The purpose of the holiday was the move away from the commercialization of the smiley and to use it as a symbol of kindness and affection.
    Morale Booster
    The smiley made its debut in 1963 as a way to increase the morale of the employees of a life insurance company. Today, it is one of the most popular nonverbal ways to convey joy, happiness and cheer. The smiley face began as a bright yellow circle with two dots to represent eyes and a black line that represents a smiling mouth.
    Emoji
    Today, there are many different versions of the smiley, representing many other human emotions such a sadness, surprise, worry and laughter. In modern texting smileys are used to express emotions in online conversations on a smartphone or on a computer. The practice has its origin in Japan, and the smileys and other icons are known as emoji.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make people around you smile. Do a random act of kindness. Buy a stranger a coffee. Compliment someone. Give your seat up to someone on the bus. Surprise someone in your family with a visit, cook a meal for them, or do something special for them. Volunteer your time and/ or money at a local nonprofit organization. Did You Know...
    ...that babies are born with the ability to smile?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out.

    "A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—"

    The flustered agent interrupted. "I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."
     
    ***
     
    My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor's for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."

    He smiled. "Done."
     
    ***
     
    I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.

    I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash.

    Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
     
    ***
     
    The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice 
willing to work long, hard hours.
    
He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”
    The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.
     
     
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    "A Scottish theme tonight"
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     
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    ( Sorry, I just couldn't resist this one! )
     
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    ( 78th Highlanders group, Montreal, Qc, 1869 )
     
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    sandrewn
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