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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    MDBCs 17 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 868
    December 17th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Daniel the Prophet Josep Manyanet i Vives Lazarus of Bethany (local commemoration in Cuba) O Sapientia Olympias the Deaconess Wivina Sturm December 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Accession Day (Bahrain) International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers Kurdish Flag Day (Global Kurdish population) National Day (Bhutan) Pan American Aviation Day (United States) Wright Brothers Day, a United States federal observance by Presidential proclamation  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Device Appreciation Day
    National Maple Syrup Day - 1
    National Maple Syrup Day Canada - 2
    Saturnalia
     
    Nat Wolff’s Birthday
    Michael Cashman’s Birthday
    Milla Jovovich’s Birthday
    Manny Pacquiao’s Birthday
    Manu Ríos’s Birthday
    John Abraham’s Birthday
    Jessi’s Birthday
    Ivar Ivask’s Birthday
    Pope Francis’s Birthday
    Ramriddlz’s Birthday
    Ashley Jordyn’s Birthday
    Duff Goldman’s Birthday
    Sarah Paulson
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun Dec 17th, 2023 - Mon Jan 1st, 2024
    Festival Of Winter Walks
     
      ***
     
     
    Q: What's A Snowman's Favorite Breakfast?
    A: Frosted Flakes!
    ***
    A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
    ***
    Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
    A: It needed to be trimmed.
    ***
    On New Year’s Eve, I’ll join my friends to toast the days ahead. We’ll all stay up until it’s late, then eat a tasty spread. At midnight, though, I might just wish that I were home instead, sleeping very peacefully in my warm, cozy bed.
    ***
    Just before Easter I remarked to my husband that, with the children grown and away from home, this was the first year that we hadn't dyed eggs and had an Easter-egg hunt.
    "That's all right, honey," he said. "We can just hide each other's vitamin pills."
     
    ***
     
    My granddaughter was discussing the expected arrival of a new brother for her 4-year-old son, Matthew. She told Matthew that you can’t predict the exact date of birth.
    “You were expected on Aug. 19,” she said, “but arrived on Aug. 11.”
    Matthew thought for a moment and then said,
    “Oh! I’m so lucky I was born on my birthday!”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    MDBCs 16 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 867
    December 16th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adelaide of Italy Haggai Ralph Adams Cram, Richard Upjohn and John La Farge (Episcopal Church (USA)) December 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Reconciliation, formerly celebrated as Day of the Vow by the Afrikaners (South Africa) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Kazakhstan from the Soviet Union in 1991. National Day, celebrates the withdrawal of United Kingdom from Bahrain, making Bahrain an independent emirate in 1971. National Sports Day (Thailand) The beginning of the nine-day celebration beginning December 16 and ending December 24, celebrating the trials which Mary and Joseph endured before finding a place to stay where Jesus could be born (Hispanidad😞 The first day of Las Posadas (Mexico, Latin America) The first day of the Simbang Gabi novena of masses (Philippines) Victory Day observances, celebration of the Indo-Bangla allied victory over Pakistan armed forces and the Liberation of Bangladesh. (Bangladesh and India)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Barbie And Barney Backlash Day
    National Wreaths Across America Day
    National Underdog Day
    Stupid Toy Day
     
    Theo James’s Birthday
    Ludwig van Beethoven’s Birthday
    Park Seo-joon’s Birthday
    Jane Austen’s Birthday
    Kai Cenat’s Birthday
    Hozumi Hasegawa’s Birthday
    James Reynolds’s Birthday
    Ethan Dolan’s Birthday
    Grayson Dolan’s Birthday
    Daniel Preda’s Birthday
    Billy Gibbons’s Birthday
    Bill Hicks’s Birthday
    Berleezy’s Birthday
    Zara Larsson’s Birthday
    Alana Kern’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Chocolate Covered Anything Day
    December 16 is all about chocolate because it is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.

    And we are not complaining because it is the one-day where no one can question our obsession. Want to drizzle chocolate over your salad? Go right ahead, it is Chocolate Covered Anything Day! Add chocolate to your morning cup of coffee? That is a brilliant idea! Eat chocolate covered fruits for lunch? You are in the spirit of the holiday!
    Celebrating Chocolate Around the Year
    Chocolate is a very popular theme for a fun holiday. Other chocolate themed holidays are Chocolate Pudding Day, Milk Chocolate Day, Chocolate Pecan Pie Day, Chocolate Milkshake Day, Chocolate Cupcake Day, and Chocolate Cake Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat only chocolate covered items on this day. Chocolate covered donuts for breakfast, chocolate covered fruits for lunch and a chocolate rubbed steak for dinner. Get creative and try to experiment by pairing chocolate with dishes and food items you may never think about putting together. Did You Know…
    …that the earliest record of humans consuming chocolate dates back to 1700 B.C.?
       
    ***
     
     
    Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously.
    In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an old eighth-grade math quiz.”
    ***
    An utterly confused woman called our local fire station about getting a haircut.
    “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number,” I said.
    “Is this the salon near the fire station?” she asked.
    “No, this is the fire station.”
    “Oh! Are you cutting hair in there now?”
    ***
    I work in the front office of a housing complex that supports people living with mental illness. On one particularly hectic day, a tenant came in to pay her rent.
    Frazzled, I said, “Ever have one of those days when you feel everyone is out to get you?”
    She smiled and replied, “I take medication for that.”
    ***
    A man goes to a job interview and the interviewer begins with the question, "What do you think is your biggest weakness?"
    The man thinks for a moment, then says, "I think my biggest weakness is my brutal honesty."
    The interviewer says, "I don't think that's a weakness."
    The man then says, "I don't give a #%^& what you think!"
     
    ***
     
    When my grandson, Jimmy, was 4 or 5, we asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.
    “I want to be a machine,” he said without hesitation.
    When we asked him why, he explained,
    “Well, you can replace the parts in a machine when they wear out.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    MDBCs 15 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 866
    December 15th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Bill of Rights Day (United States) 2nd Amendment Day (South Carolina) Christian feast day: Drina Martyrs Drostan (Aberdeen Breviary) John Horden and Robert McDonald (Episcopal Church (USA)) Maria Crocifissa di Rosa Mesmin Valerian of Abbenza Virginia Centurione Bracelli December 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Homecoming Day (Alderney) Kingdom Day (Netherlands), moves to December 16 if the 15th is on a Sunday Zamenhof Day (International Esperanto Community)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Cat Herders Day
    International Tea Day
    National Cupcake Day
    National Lemon Cupcake Day
    National Regifting Day
    National Wear Your Pearls Day
     
    Skyler Aboujaoude’s Birthday
    Ronnie Radke’s Birthday
    Meredith Marks’s Birthday
    Maya Henry’s Birthday
    Kim Porter’s Birthday
    Jeff Wittek’s Birthday
    Erika Tham’s Birthday
    Emilia Fart’s Birthday
    Don Johnson’s Birthday
    Daniel Ezra’s Birthday
    Antonio Garza’s Birthday
    Tim Conway’s Birthday
    Josh Norman’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Underdog Day
    Underdog Day is celebrated every year on the third Friday of December.

    This unofficial holiday owes its name to the term “underdog” popularly used in sports and competitions and refers to someone who is popularly expected to lose.
    All of us know of someone who works very hard but never gets recognized for their hard work. In addition, they are usually expected to fail in their efforts. Maybe, you have been in a situation like that? Celebrate all such underdogs and unsung heroes on Underdog Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Remember that it is sometimes ok to be an underdog. It may be frustrating sometimes, but when underdogs win, they tend to upset the expected order of things. If you know of an underdog, tell them to persevere on. If you feel you are an underdog, work harder and shatter everyone’s expectations. Watch the American animated series, Underdog. The series, which aired on NBC in the 1960s, detailed the adventures of Underdog, a superhero who spoke in rhyming verse and wore a caped costume. Did You Know…
    …that the opposite of an underdog is a top dog and in if an underdog wins in a competition, the outcome of the event is known as an upset.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ugly Sweater Day
    The third Friday of December is Ugly Sweater Day.
     

      On this day, get in the holiday spirit and flaunt those ugly holiday sweaters (thanks, Grandma!) you have been too embarrassed to wear in public. In many countries, the holiday is associated with fundraising events for children’s charity.
    A similar holiday, Christmas Jumper Day, is celebrated every year as part of a fun raising event by Save the Children, a not for profit organization. In 2017, it is on December 15 as well.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take that ugly sweater out and wear it in public, chances are, you won’t be the only one wearing the Rudolph sweater grandma made for you ten years ago. Don’t have an ugly sweater? Make one of your own. Bedazzle an old or thrifted sweater, add embroidered holiday motifs and some sequins, and voila, you are ready for Ugly Sweater Day. Host an ugly sweater party. Have your guests contribute to charity and hold an ugly sweater competition. The person flaunting the ugliest sweater goes home with the top prize. Did You Know...
    ...that the word cardigan, which is a type of sweater that is open from the front, comes from James Thomas Brudenell, the 7th Earl of Cardigan? The English general was thought to have worn such as sweater while leading a cavalry charge at Balaclava in 1854.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    On our commute to work, my husband stopped at a convenience store for coffee. As he got back into the car, I noticed something odd.
    "Turn your head and look at me," I said. "You have a Q-tip sticking out of your ear."
    As he pulled it out, he replied, "No wonder the guy in there asked me if I was getting good reception."
     
    ***
     
    A patient came to the hospital with a burned right hand. As the doctor took down his medical history, he asked the injured man, "Do you smoke?"
    "Yeah, a pack and a half a day," said the patient.
    Concerned, the doctor told him, "You should consider quitting."
    "No, it's OK," said the patient. "I smoke with my left hand."
     
    ***
     
    A defendant isn’t happy with 
how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.
    Judge: “Where do you work?”
    Defendant: “Here and there.”
    Judge: “What do you do for 
a living?”
    Defendant: “This and that.”
    Judge: “Take him away.”
    Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”
    Judge: “Sooner or later.”
     
    ***
     
    Been reading up on the 
thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
     
    ***
     
    The first time my husband and I took our 3-year-old son to visit his grandma in Arkansas, he went with her to gather eggs. The next morning, he watched her fry some up for breakfast and put them on his plate.
    He looked at me and said in a serious tone, “Mama, these eggs came from chickens!”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    MDBCs 14 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 865
    December 14th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Folcwin John of the Cross John III of the Sedre (Syriac Orthodox Church) Matronian Nicasius of Rheims Nimatullah Kassab (Maronite Church) Spyridon (Western Church) Venantius Fortunatus December 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Alabama Day (Alabama) Forty-seven Ronin Remembrance Day (Sengaku-ji, Tokyo) Martyred Intellectuals Day (Bangladesh) Monkey Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Free Shipping Day
    Halcyon Days
    More Good Today Day
    National Bouillabaisse Day
    National Energy Conservation Day
    Roast Chestnuts Day
    National Screwdriver Day
    Sustainable Entrepreneurship Day
     
    Offset’s Birthday
    Mike Fuentes’s Birthday
    Nostradamus’s Birthday
    Lisa Barlow’s Birthday
    Mason Disick’s Birthday
    James Comey’s Birthday
    Kate Bogucharskaia’s Birthday
    George VI’s Birthday
    Ciel Star’s Birthday
    Candiace Dillard’s Birthday
    Reign Disick’s Birthday
    Ryland Storms’s Birthday
    Alex Gaskarth’s Birthday
    Vanessa Hudgens’s Birthday
    Benjamin Haggard’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thu Dec 14th, 2023 - Thu Jan 5th, 2024
    Christmas Bird Count Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Monkey Day
    December 14 is Monkey Day. The day celebrates monkeys and all other primate cousins of humans such as apes, chimpanzees, and gibbons.

    While the origins of Monkey Day are not known, there are many theories as to why this holiday was created. Some sources suggest that it started as a prank by some college students, while others suggest that it was started by people who wanted to raise awareness about monkeys, their habitats, and their role in the environment.
    Many Different Species
    Monkeys are primates that usually live in trees and are active during the day. There are about 260 different species of monkeys around the world. Scientists classify monkeys into two different categories - old world monkeys found in Asia and Africa and new world monkeys found in the Americas.
    Believed to be highly intelligent animals, monkeys can vary in size. The smallest monkey, the pygmy marmoset is about 5 inches (13 cm) tall, while the largest, the mandrill can grow up to 3 feet (1 m) in height.
    Special Status in Many Cultures
    In many parts of the world, monkeys are revered and worshiped as gods. The monkey is the animal representing the 9th year in the 12 year cycles of the Chinese Calendar.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about monkeys and non-human primates. Donate your time and money to a non-profit organization that works to conserve and preserve monkey and simian environments. Visit your local zoo to observe monkeys, apes, and other primates. Watch Planet of the Apes and other movies with simian characters. Did You Know…
    …that monkeys went into space before humans did? The first primate to go to space was called Albert II, a rhesus monkey.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Forget about the past, you can't change it.
    Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
    Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
    ***
    Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.
    ***
    You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
    ***
    If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
    ***
    Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
    A: They were all born on holidays.
    ***
    Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt's gift—a scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. One year, she must have had better things to do because I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit book.
    Her card read "Scarf, some assembly required."
    ***
    As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by friends, relatives and co-workers. Over the years I've noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries.
    In my teens, friends would ask, "Who are you going out with this weekend?"
    In my 20s, relatives would say, "Who are you dating?"
    In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, "So, are you dating anyone?"
    Now people ask, "Where did you get that adorable purse?"
    ***
    Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?
    A: Forget it once!
     
    ***
     
    Pollen and allergies got the best of Liam, my 9-year-old son, so he stayed home from school with his grandma. When I got home from work, he said he had brushed our dog, Abby.
    Knowing that I kept the dog’s brush up out of reach so she couldn’t chew on it, I asked, “How did you know where I keep Abby’s brush?”
    He gave me a puzzled look and said matter-of-factly, “I didn’t. I used your brush.”
     
     
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    (It is a repeat, but I think worth showing you again)
     
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    Fresh Out Of The Store
    We don't know about you, but we can't stop staring at the walking chicken in this photo. Before reading the rest of the ad, we're already thinking about chickens taking over the world.
    But seriously, this ad from Artizone is a Chicago grocery company that offers fresh meat and produce delivered to your home. Sounds yummy to us!
     
    ***
    The Internet Is A Scary Place
    The internet is scary, and when it comes to online dating, no one really knows if the person you're talking to is lying or even real at all! O Fio Bier Bar makes a really great ad telling people to get off their computer and meet other humans in real life.
    In today's world of online dating, fewer people are meeting each other in person, and human interaction is important. And after seeing this ad, we might be too scared to date online ever again!
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    MDBCs 13 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 864
    December 13th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Further information: December 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Christian feast day: St Antiochus of Sulcis St Judoc aka St Joyce St Lucy St Odile of Alsace Acadian Remembrance Day (Acadians) National Day (Saint Lucia) Martial Law Victims Remembrance Day (Poland) Nanking Massacre Memorial Day (China) Nusantara Day (Indonesia) Republic Day (Malta) Sailor's Day (Brazil) Saint Lucia Day (mainly in Scandinavia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Cocoa Day
    National Cream Cheese Frosting Day
    National Horse Day
    National Ice Cream Day
    National Violin Day
    Pick A Pathologist Pal Day
    U.S. National Guard Birthday
     
    Morris Day’s Birthday
    Matt Ox’s Birthday
    Maisy Stella’s Birthday
    M. Maggie Miller’s Birthday
    Jasmine Mir’s Birthday
    Jamie Foxx’s Birthday
    Harry Raftus’s Birthday
    Emma Corrin’s Birthday
    Ella Baker’s Birthday
    Dorinda Medley’s Birthday
    Taylor Swift’s Birthday
    Steve Buscemi’s Birthday
    NeNe Leakes’s Birthday
    Stampy’s Birthday
    Amy Lee’s Birthday
    Tanya Sam’s Birthday
    Tom DeLonge’s Birthday
    Ted Nugent’s Birthday
    Dick Van Dyke’s Birthday
    Dermot Kennedy’s Birthday
     
     
    ***
     
     
    The Law of Coffee
    If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.  
    ***
    Q: Why do they call coffee mud?
    A: Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
    ***
    Q: Why are Italians so good at making coffee?
    A: Because they know how to espresso themselves
    ***
    If the local coffee shop has awarded you "Employee of the Month" and you don't even work there, you may be drinking too much coffee.
    ***
    New Life Rule
    Coffee is the most important meal of the day
    ***
    Q: Where do birds go for coffee?
    A: To the NESTcafe
    ***
    There are two types of people in this world:
    People who love Starbucks and liars.
    ***
    Q: How are men like coffee?
    A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night.
    ***
    Q: What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work?
    A: Break fluid
     
    ***
     
    As I was driving the other day, I saw a sign on a business that read “Whistlepig Alley Antiques.” It reminded me of an event that happened many years ago when I was living in the community of Granny Squirrel, near Andrews, North Carolina.
    While watching TV one day, 
I heard strange sounds. I tried to not overreact, but in my mind I thought it could be ghosts, or that maybe I was hearing things. 
The noise was the craziest high-pitched whistling sound.
    That went on for a week; then one day my landlord told me three groundhogs had crawled under the home.
    Now I know why Appalachian folks call them whistle pigs. Once you hear groundhogs "speaking," you will never forget it.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    MDBCs 12 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 863
    December 12th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Corentin of Quimper Jane Frances de Chantal Edburga of Minster-in-Thanet Finnian of Clonard Thomas Holland Ida of Nivelles Peter the Aleut Vicelinus Constitution Day (Russia) Day of Neutrality (Turkmenistan)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Constitution Day in Thailand
    Day of the Virgin of Guadalupe
    Festival of Unmentionable Thoughts
    Gingerbread Decorating Day
    Guadalupe Day
    International Day of Neutrality
    International Universal Health Coverage Day - 1
    Universal Health Coverage Day - 2
    Jamhuri Day
    National Ambrosia Day
    National Clayton Day
    National Ding-A-Ling Day
    National Poinsettia Day
    Pa Togan Nengminza Sangma
     
    Regina Hall’s Birthday
    Mariela Fernández’s Birthday
    Mayim Bialik’s Birthday
    Lincoln Melcher’s Birthday
    Lucas Hedges’s Birthday
    Jennifer Connelly’s Birthday
    John Jay’s Birthday
    Hila Klein’s Birthday
    Frank Sinatra’s Birthday
    Erika Diane’s Birthday
    Sheila E.’s Birthday
    Shy Glizzy’s Birthday
    Bob Barker’s Birthday
    Crainer’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Gingerbread House Day
    Take out all your baking supplies, unleash your imagination and build a gingerbread house on December 12 or Gingerbread House Day.

    This unofficial holiday celebrates the tradition of making houses and architectural models out of gingerbread cookies. The tradition can be traced back to the 1600s.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make your own gingerbread house. Maybe try and recreate a architectural landmark with gingerbread? Take part in your local gingerbread house competition or hold one of your own! Did You Know…
    ….that according the Guinness Book of World Records, the World’s largest gingerbread house was made in 2013 by the Traditions Club in Bryan, Texas, United States? The house was 60 ft (18.23 m) long and 10.1 ft (18.28m) tall.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q: What's a good holiday tip?
    A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
     
    ***
     
    FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.
     
    ***
     
    Greeting Cards:
    When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.
     
    ***
     
    Spending more time with family:
    Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece."
     
    Getting in shape:
    A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays."
     
    Starting that diet:
    My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you."
     
    Quitting smoking:
    I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to "be cool." As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, "Hey, I'll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?"
     
    Eating healthier: The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month—until you loathe it." When the woman finished, she paused, looked up, and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?"
     
    Reducing your debt:
    Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher. I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately. “You see where they’re smoothing that cement?” he replied. “I just threw my wife’s credit cards in there.”
     
    Learning new things:
    I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter. Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, "For the show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?" Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, "What's the difference?"
     
    Better teeth care:
    Just because one owns a business doesn't mean it has to be all business. This sign in a dentist's office proves that point: "Be True to Your Teeth, or They Will Be False to You."
     
    Becoming more organized:
    My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.
    When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath." I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
     
    Drinking less:
    I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pronouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc."
     
    ***
     
    When my daughter, Brooxie, was 5 years old, she’d stay with my husband’s parents while we were at work. One day Brooxie was helping Papaw gather eggs.
    While putting the eggs into the basket she was carrying, she asked, “Papaw, where do these eggs come from?”
    Papaw then explained in detail the delicate process of making an egg.
    Brooxie put her hands on her hips and exclaimed, “Papaw, I don’t eat anything that comes out of a chicken!” And for many years, she didn’t.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    MDBCs 11 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 862
    December 11th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Cian Daniel the Stylite María de las Maravillas de Jesús Pope Damasus I Sabinus of Piacenza Victoricus, Fuscian, and Gentian December 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Establishment of Kurdish Women's Union (Iraqi Kurdistan) Indiana Day (United States) International Mountain Day National Tango Day (Argentina) Pampanga Day (Pampanga province, Philippines) Republic Day, the day when Upper Volta became an autonomous republic in the French Community in 1958. (Burkina Faso)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Anniversary of the Statute of Westminster
    Holiday Food Drive for Needy Animals Day
    National App Day
    National Caesar Day
    National Jon Day
    UNICEF Birthday - 01
    UNICEF Day for Change -02
    Green Monday
    National Have a Bagel Day
     
    Rey Mysterio Jr.’s Birthday
    Sam Wilkinson’s Birthday
    Nikki Sixx’s Birthday
    PJ Liguori’s Birthday
    Tommy Sotomayor’s Birthday
    Mos Def’s Birthday
    Jermaine Jackson’s Birthday
    John Kerry’s Birthday
    Javi Marroquin’s Birthday
    Jack Griffo’s Birthday
    Hailee Steinfeld’s Birthday
    Alexa Demie’s Birthday
    aimsey’s Birthday
    Mo'Nique’s Birthday
    Rajneesh's Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Noodle Ring Day
    December 11 is Noodle Ring Day, a day for comforting baked pasta.

    Popular during the mid-1900s, Noodle Ring Day is a dish made of flat noodles or any other type of flat pasta baked in a ring mold or a bundt pan.
    Fill the Ring
    Making noodle ring from scratch is easy, all you need is some cooked pasta, eggs, bread crumbs and a cheese that melts easily. Mix all the ingredients and put it in a mold and bake until all the eggs cook and the cheese melts. Unmold and fill the center with a filling of your choice. Many recipes recommend chicken salad, sautéed vegetables or canned tuna as a filling.
    How to Celebrate?
    Dig out your grandma’s cookbooks and make a noodle ring for dinner. Don't like the pasta that is available in the stores? Make your own from scratch and then use to make a noodle ring. Make a dessert version of the dish - use sugar while baking the noodles and instead of a savory filling use fresh cut fruit or a custard or pudding. Host a vintage dinner party and have friends bring their favorite vintage dishes to share. Make a noodle ring as your contribution to the dinner table. Did You Know…
    …that experts believe that people around the world consume over 600 types and shapes of pasta?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. —George Burns
     
    ***
     
    According to most studies, people's No. 1 fear is public speaking. No. 2 is death. Death is No. 2. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. —Jerry Seinfeld
     
    ***
     
    The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for steak to cook. —Julia Child
     
    ***
     
    "I was playing chess with my friend, and he said, 'Let's make this more interesting.'  So we stopped playing chess." —Matt Kirshen
     
    ***
     
    A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus and drove up over the curb, stopping inches from a large window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab.
    Then the driver quietly said, “Please don’t do that! You scared the daylights out of me.”
    The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn’t realize a tap on the shoulder could startle someone so much
    —to which the driver replied, “It’s really not your fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving 
a hearse for 25 years.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    MDBCs 10 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 861
    December 10th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Alfred Nobel Day or Nobeldagen (Sweden) Christian feast day: Behnam, Sarah, and the Forty Martyrs (Syriac Orthodox Church) Eulalia of Mérida Karl Barth (Episcopal Church (USA)) Thomas Merton (Episcopal Church (USA)) Translation of the Holy House of Loreto December 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Thailand) Human Rights Day (International)   Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales
    International Animal Rights Day
    Iraq Victory Day
    National Corey Day
    National Derek Day
    National Lager Day
    Worldwide Candle Lighting Day
    World Choral Day
     
    Raven-Symoné’s Birthday
    Neptune’s Birthday
    MeMpHiTz’s Birthday
    Maliah Michel’s Birthday
    Kyliegh Curran’s Birthday
    Kevin de León’s Birthday
    Kang Daniel’s Birthday
    Flynn Timothy Stocklin’s Birthday
    Emily Dickinson’s Birthday
    Delaney Childs’s Birthday
    Caila Quinn’s Birthday
    Bobby Flay’s Birthday
    Teyana Taylor’s Birthday
    Evelyn Lozada’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Dewey Decimal System Day
    December 10 is Dewey Decimal System Day. The day commemorates the birth of Melville Dewey, the inventor of the Dewey Decimal System of library classification.

    The system, first published in 1876, organizes library materials by fields. There are 10 main fields that are further divided into smaller, more specialized area. Libraries around to the world use the system to organize and classify their books.
    In addition to creating this ingenious system of organization, Melville Dewey was also a big proponent of the metric system. He was the founder of the American Metric Bureau.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the Dewey Decimal System. Visit a library and talk to a librarian about how they keep track of all the books in the building. Did You Know…
    …that only 3 countries in the world do not use the metric system today? These are the United States, Myanmar, and Liberia.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Jane Addams Day
    December 10 is Jane Addams Day, an unofficial holiday that celebrates the first American woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

    Created in 2007, the holiday is held annually on December 10 to commemorate the date in 1931 when Addams was awarded the world's most prestigious award for those who work to spread peace and prosperity in the world and their communities - the Nobel Peace Prize.
    Five Prizes
    The award is one of the five prizes instituted by the Swedish inventor, Alfred Nobel and is given out annually in Oslo, Norway. Addams shared her prize with Nicholas Murray Butler.
    Feminist and Peace Activist
    Born in 1860, Jane Addams was a social worker, a feminist, and a peace activist. She was committed to improving the lives of women and children and to improving conditions of underprivileged communities in Chicago. In 1889, she co-founded the Hull House in Chicago, a settlement house that encouraged educated women to work for social reform in working class neighborhoods in the city. Addams was also a feminist and believed that women had the right to vote and make themselves heard both in politics and in society.
    Founder of Social Work
    In addition to her prolific social work, Jane Addams was also involved in the creation of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). She is also known as the founder of social work in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Women like Jane Addams made it possible for women in the United States to have the political, economic and social opportunities they have today. So, spend this day reading about the history of women's rights in the U.S. If you have children and kids in your life, tell them about the work of Jane Addams. The Jane Addams Peace Association gives out annual awards to children's books that promote the cause of peace, equality and social justice. Even though Jane Addams worked hard to ensure social change, peace and equality, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. Celebrate the life and work of an inspiring woman by volunteering your time and money to a social justice charity. Remember, you don't have to be in the United States to honor Jane Addams. Her ideals of equality, peace and justice are relevant to all times, ages and places. Did You Know...
    ...that Jane Addams was only the second woman to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? The first woman was peace activist Baroness Bertha Sophie Felicita von Suttner.
       
    ***
     
     
    Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any.
    “Sure,” said the first guy. “I’ll get you one.”
    As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, “We keep them in the storage room. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.”
     
    ***
     
    “Has your diet changed?” 
I asked an 87-year-old woman I was admitting into the hospital.
    “Yes,” she said. “For Lent, I gave 
up whipped cream on my Jell-O, hard candy, and my two beers a night. [Pause] And look where it’s gotten me.”
     
    ***
     
    A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.
    That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying. “What’s wrong?” the father asked.
    “I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.
    Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of manure. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.
    The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
     
    ***
     
    Natives of Baltimore, Maryland, my wife and I decided to move to the country in southwest 
Virginia for a change of pace. After we made the move, we started to notice little things about our neighbors. One we could not get over was how they gave directions.
    When we asked, everyone said to go down yonder and go over yonder and go around yonder. We would say thank you, but when we got into the truck we’d look at each other and ask, “Do you know where yonder is?” So for the first year or so, we drove around in circles.
    Then the other day, while we were in town shopping, someone asked us for directions. As I told them where to go, it came to me all at once. It took some time, but yeah—now I know where yonder is. And the people there are all right.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  9. sandrewn

    MDBCs 09 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 860
    December 9th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anna's Day, marks the day to start the preparation process of the lutefisk to be consumed on Christmas Eve, as well as a Swedish name day, celebrating all people named Anna. (Sweden and Finland) Armed Forces Day (Peru) Christian feast day: Feast of the Conception of the Most Holy Theotokos by St. Anne (Eastern Orthodox Church) Juan Diego Leocadia Nectarius of Auvergne Peter Fourier December 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Fatherland's Heroes Day (Russia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Tanganyika from Britain in 1961. (Tanzania) International Anti-Corruption Day (United Nations) National Heroes Day, formerly V.C. Bird Day. (Antigua and Barbuda) Navy Day (Sri Lanka)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Genocide Prevention Day - 1
    International Day of Commemoration and Dignity of the Victims of the Crime of Genocide and of the Prevention of this Crime - 2
    International Day of Veterinary Medicine
    Lost and Found Day
    MS Ireland Christmas Jumper Day
    National Blake Day
    National Llama Day
    National Opal Apples Day
    National Pastry Day
    Techno Day
    V.C. Bird Day
    Weary Willie Day
    Gingerbread Decorating Day
    International Shareware Day
     
    Lori Greiner’s Birthday
    Kwadwo Asamoah’s Birthday
    Lily Pebbles’s Birthday
    Kirk Douglas’s Birthday
    Kountry Wayne’s Birthday
    Kendall Vertes’s Birthday
    Kenneth Pabon’s Birthday
    Jaida Essence Hall’s Birthday
    Judi Dench’s Birthday
    Isaiah Russell-Bailey’s Birthday
    Grace Hopper’s Birthday
    Donny Osmond’s Birthday
    Minho’s Birthday
    NI-KI’s Birthday
    Angela Deem’s Birthday
    Booba’s Birthday
    Redd Foxx’s Birthday
    PnB Rock’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Christmas Card Day
    Christmas is just a few weeks away, and if you haven’t sent out your greeting cards, make sure you do it on December 9 because it is Christmas Card Day.

    How to Celebrate?
    Send out your holiday and Christmas cards. Make your own cards – your recipients will appreciate a handmade card. If you don’t have time to send in physical cards, what about sending e-cards? Don’t celebrate Christmas or the holidays? Why not send out New Year cards instead? Did You Know…
    …that the first Christmas cards were sent in 1843 and were commissioned in London, United Kingdom by Sir Henry Cole. John Callcott Horsley illustrated the card, which featured the members of a family.
       
    ***
     
     
    From the police blotter, 
or, what a beat cop deals with 
every day:
    • A deputy responded to a report 
of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes. 
It was the mail carrier.
    • A woman said her son was 
attacked by a cat, and the cat would not allow her to take her son to the hospital.
    • A resident said someone had 
entered his home at night and taken five pounds of bacon. Upon further investigation, police discovered 
his wife had gotten up for a late-night snack.
    • A man reported that a squirrel 
was running in circles on Davis Drive, and he wasn’t sure if it was sick or had been hit by a car. An 
officer responded, and as he drove on the street, he ran over the squirrel.
     
    ***
     
    My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s-ed test as she’d hoped. 
It might have had something to 
do with how she completed this 
sentence:
    “When the ______ is dead, the car won’t start.”
    She wrote: “Driver.”
     
    ***
     
    A friend of mine works at a tattoo shop. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later, the customer called, 
demanding a refund.
    Client: You did my tattoo backward!
    Tattoo artist: It’s backward?
    Client: Yes! I’m looking at it in the mirror right now!
     
    ***
     
    When our son was young, his grandma joked about the Sandman and how he put kids to sleep by sprinkling “sleepy sand” in their eyes. Later that day I found Chico napping with his head in a cardboard box.
    When I asked him why, he said he wasn’t going to let anyone put sand in his eyes.
    I couldn’t convince him it was a fairy tale, because Grandma wouldn’t lie!
     
     
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    MDBCs 08 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 859
    December 8th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Battle Day (Falkland Islands) Bodhi Day (Japan) CARICOM–Cuba Day (Caribbean Community (CARICOM) and Cuba) Christian feast day: Budoc (Beuzec) of Dol Clement of Ohrid (Julian Calendar), and its related observances: Student's Day (Bulgaria) Eucharius Feast of the Immaculate Conception (public holiday in several countries, a holy day of obligation in others), and its related observances: Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Anglican Communion), lesser commemoration Festa da Conceição da Praia, celebrating Yemanjá, Queen of the Ocean in Umbanda (Salvador, Bahia) Festival of Lights (Lyon) Mother's Day (Panama) Lady of Camarin Day (Guam) Patapios of Thebes Pope Eutychian Richard Baxter (US Episcopal Church) Romaric December 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Romania) Constitution Day (Uzbekistan) Day of Finnish Music (Finland) Earliest day on which National Tree Planting Day can fall, while December 14 is the latest; celebrated on the second Monday in December. (Malawi) Hari-Kuyō (Kansai region, Japan) National Youth Day (Albania) Nations, Nationalities and Peoples' Day (Ethiopia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Christmas Jumper Day
    National Blue Collar Day
    National Brownie Day
    National Health Savings Account Day
    National Lard Day
    National Salesperson Day
    National Simon Day
    Santa Marian Kamalen Day
    Take it in the Ear Day
    Udhauli Parva
    Virgin of Caacupé Day
     
    Nicole Laeno’s Birthday
    Teri Hatcher’s Birthday
    Nicki Minaj’s Birthday
    Kappa Kaiju’s Birthday
    Kim Basinger’s Birthday
    Sam Hunt’s Birthday
    Benjamin Rein Brady’s Birthday
    Dwight Howard’s Birthday
    Gregg Allman’s Birthday
    Dharmendra’s Birthday
    Diego Rivera’s Birthday
    Deveraux Jagger’s Birthday
    Corey Taylor’s Birthday
    Clarence White’s Birthday
    Pee Wee’s Birthday
    Ian Somerhalder’s Birthday
    Philip Rivers’s Birthday
    Jim Morrison’s Birthday
    Tanner Buchanan’s Birthday
    Ann Coulter’s Birthday
    Mary Queen of Scots’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day
    December 8 is Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day.

    While the origins of this Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day are unknown, we are certain that the creators of this unofficial holiday wanted people to pretend to be time travelers.
    Future or Past
    In a general sense, most of us do that every day without pretending - we travel from one second to another. But time travelers are special - they have the ability to move from one point in time to another faster or slower than what us normal humans can do. They can travel in the past or travel in the future.
    While most physicists and scientists agree that time traveling can be theoretically achieved, our present day technology and scientific knowledge aren't advanced enough to make it a reality.
    How to Celebrate?
    All you need to do is to pretend that you can travel through time. Act like you just arrived from another century or even another planet. Here are some more ways you can celebrate this fun holiday:
    Watch all your favorite time traveling movies and shows. What about hosting a blast from the past party? Choose an era and base the party around the clothing, food and language of that period. Walk around dressed like someone from the past or future. Speak old English or Latin or any other ancient language when asked why you are dressed the way you are. Did You Know…
    …that one of the most popular paradox associated with time travel is the Grandfather Paradox? According to this paradox, if a person goes back into time to kill her/her grandfather before he has biological children and succeeds, then one of the person’s parents would never be born, and therefore, the person in question would not exist. This means that the person could not go back in time to kill his or her grandfather, which would mean that the person’s grandfather would have biological children and the person would exist today.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Official Lost and Found Day
    The second Friday of December is celebrated every year as Official Lost and Found Day.

      Losing things is part of life and if what we have lost is not very important, most people tend to stop looking for it after trying for a while. In fact, lost and found offices all around the world are full of things that people lost and have forgotten about.
    Celebrated first in 2012, Official Lost and Found Day is an unofficial holiday that reminds people to not give up on the things they have lost and to increase their efforts to find them.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have lost something or if you forgot an item somewhere, make an effort to track it down. If it is a personal object, chances are that someone is holding it for the owner to claim it. Though not technically lost, items sold at thrift stores and flea markets are certainly forgotten. Take this day to visit your local thrift store and find something that will be loved in your home. If you are prone to losing things, perhaps today is the day to figure out a way to make sure you don't lose things frequently. Some ideas include putting a name tag and contact information on your belongings and creating a process to check if you have all your things with you when leaving the home, getting off public transport and leaving any public area. Did You Know...
    ...that the lost and found system in Japan today dates back to a code written in 718?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    When my local barista handed me my change, one coin stood out. “Look at that. You rarely get one of these old wheat pennies nowadays,” I said, tapping the sheaf of-wheat design. I handed her the penny.
    Turning it over and over in her hand, she said, “You know, I always thought they were made of copper.”
     
    ***
     
    One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?”
    “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.”
     
    ***
     
    Could a ...
    ... librarian be called a bookkeeper?
    ... referee be a game warden?
    ... dairyman be a cowboy?
    ... cabinetmaker be the president?
     
    ***
     
    Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around the drone but not hitting it.
    Then came Dad’s ship’s turn. The gunners’ very first shot sent the drone into the water!
    Forty years later, Dad met the man responsible, and he told him how impressed he had been.
    “Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for that,” the gunner said. “Turns out we were supposed to shoot around it, not hit it.”
     
    ***
     
    A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe. The barista sees them and says,
    “I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. I don’t want you starting anything in here.”
     
     
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    The little girl was drinking milk in her glass when she tipped it and slipped milk everywhere. The cats wasted no time in making the best of the opportunity.

     
    As we know that there is no use to cry over spilled milk, the little girl simply started drinking it off the floor.
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    MDBCs 07 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 858
    December 7th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Flag Day (India) Christian feast day: Aemilianus (Greek Church) Ambrose Maria Giuseppa Rossello Sabinus of Spoleto December 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Eve of the Immaculate Conception-related observances: Day of the Little Candles, begins after sunset (Colombia) International Civil Aviation Day National Heroes Day (East Timor) National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (United States) Spitak Remembrance Day (Armenia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    National Cotton Candy Day
    National Illinois Day
    National Joy Day
    National Judith Day
    National Rina Day
    Unduvap Full Moon Poya
     
    Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s Birthday
    Sara Bareilles’s Birthday
    Noam Chomsky’s Birthday
    Pete Alonso’s Birthday
    Larry Bird’s Birthday
    Nazanin Kavari’s Birthday
    Jon Moxley’s Birthday
    Dan Bilzerian’s Birthday
    Ava Foley’s Birthday
    Tom Waits’s Birthday
    Sowon’s Birthday
    Summer Fontana’s Birthday
    Asian Doll’s Birthday
    Shae Bennett’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thu Dec 7th, 2023 - Fri Dec 15th, 2023
    Hanukkah
     
    Fun Observances
    Letter Writing Day
    On December 7 bring out your finest stationery and your writing equipment and pen a letter to someone special because it is Letter Writing Day!

    While it is unclear who created Letter Writing Day, it is apparent that the creators of this unofficial holiday wanted to revive the art and tradition of letter writing and for people to show off their penmanship.
    As Old As Written Language
    Letter writing is as old as written language - people in ancient civilizations communicated with each other through letters written on a variety of different surfaces. Archaeologists have discovered letters written on wood, metal and ceramic plaques, leather, and fabric. Preserved letters are great historical resources - they are treated by historians as first hand accounts of the social, economic and political conditions prevailing at the time.
    The mass production of paper and innovations in transportation made letter writing into an effective way to communicate with family and friends as well as elevated it into an art form. It also became a way for children and young adults to learn how to write and to present their thoughts and ideas cogently.
    Decline in Letter Writing
    The advent of the telegraph and other modern means of communications in recent years, especially the e-mail, has made letter writing a less popular activity. Today, fewer and fewer people take the time to sit down and write letters to their loved ones. Letter Writing Day aims to change this. The holiday encourages people to hand write letters and send them to their loved ones the old fashioned way - through the post or mail!
    How to Celebrate?
    Write letters to your loved ones and friends. They will appreciate the effort you put in it and will love getting a handwritten note. If you send out newsletters or cards for the holidays, maybe today is the day to add little handwritten letters or notes to them. Did You Know…
    …that until the mid-19th century, envelopes were all handmade? Because of this, envelopes were extremely expensive and most people just folded up their letters and sealed them with a wax seal.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?”
    A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.”
    The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”
    ***
    Police in Tampa, Florida, raided and shut down a weekly $4-a-round mah-jongg game played by four 
elderly women. The Week asked its readers for titles of crime movies that could be made about this bust: Golden Girls, Interrupted The Lavender Hair Mob Indicting Miss Daisy No Country for Old Women The Social Security Network ***
    Q: What kind of exercise do lazy 
people do?
    A: Diddly-squats.
    ***
    My doctor took one look at 
my gut and refused to believe that 
I work out. So I listed the exercises 
I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, 
push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot 
in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.
    ***
    My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”
    I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.”
    My wife hasn’t asked me to do anything since.
    ***
    We can’t all live on a street with a pleasant name like Oak or Elm. Here are the least popular street names (that we hope don’t exist):
    • Drinkand Dr.
    • Vicious Circle
    • West 943,185th Street
    • Psycho Path
    • Peoples Ct.
    • Nofriggin Way
     
    ***
     
    I advertised the following item on our local radio program:
    For sale: Small push-type lawn mower. Brand-new, $40. One person called and asked if the lawn mower was a single or double cylinder.
    I told him, “It depends on how fast you walk!”
     
     
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    My 6 yo trying to cheat tooth fairy. Those are tic-tacs
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    ( B.T.W - I'm a Jumper )
     
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    sandrewn
  12. sandrewn

    MDBCs 06 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 857
    December 6th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the Founding of Quito (Ecuador) Armed Forces Day (Ukraine) Christian feast day: Abraham of Kratia Aemilianus (Roman Catholic Church) Denise and companions Blessed János Scheffler María del Monte Carmelo Sallés y Barangueras Nicholas of Myra, and its related observances: St Nicholas Day, where St. Nicholas/Santa Claus leaves little presents in children's shoes. (International) December 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Spain) Day of the Ministry of Communications and Information Technologies of Azerbaijan Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Finland from Russia in 1917. National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women (Canada)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Mitten Tree Day
    National Gazpacho Day
    National Miners Day
    National Pawnbrokers Day
    National Travis Day
    World Trick Shot Day
     
    Princess Sofia’s Birthday
    Satoru Iwata’s Birthday
    Millie Davis’s Birthday
    Nathan Blair’s Birthday
    Kenneth Copeland’s Birthday
    Mike Wilkerson’s Birthday
    Giannis Antetokounmpo’s Birthday
    Frankie Beverly’s Birthday
    EvanTubeHD’s Birthday
    Stella Chuu’s Birthday
    That Girl Nicole’s Birthday
    Darian Rojas’s Birthday
    A Boogie wit da Hoodie’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wed Dec 6th, 2023 - Sun Dec 10th, 2023
    Older Driver Safety Awareness Week
     
    Wed Dec 6th, 2023 - Tue Dec 12th, 2023
    Computer Science Education Week
    National Influenza Vaccination Week
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Put on Your Own Shoes Day
    December 6 is Put On Your Own Shoes Day. It is a day to, well, put on your own shoes or if you are in the Southern Hemisphere, strap on your own sandals.

    Other than encouraging people to make sure they put on their own shoes while they step out of their homes, it is unclear what the unknown creator wanted to achieve with this obviously made-up holiday. Perhaps it was created by someone with young children as a way to prompt them to start learning how to wear and lace up their shoes.
    Worn Since Antiquity
    Shoes have been part of the human wardrobe since antiquity - the oldest preserved shoe in the world was found in Armenia and is believed to be at least 5000 years old. For most of history, shoes were basic and were used to protect the feet from the elements rather than for comfort and fashion. In fact, shoes made specifically for the left and the right feet were not invented until the 1800s. Today, shoes are a billion dollar industry around the world, with footwear being a major fashion item.
    How to Celebrate
    Put on your own shoes, of course. If you have kids who are learning to put on their shoes, maybe today is the day to let them do it all by themselves. Did You Know…
    …that both men and women wore shoes with heels until the 18th century?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Microwave Oven Day
    December 6 is Microwave Oven Day. It is a day to celebrate and honor the invention that has made the lives of college students, single people and over-worked parents easier, by making it convenient and faster for them to cook and reheat food.

    It is unclear why the anonymous creators of the unofficial holiday chose this date to celebrate the common household appliance.
    Heats by Agitating Molecules
    Invented by American engineer Percy Spencer during World War II, a microwave oven uses electromagnetic waves to heat and cook food. The waves produce heat by agitating the water, fat and sugar molecules in food and cook it. Because of this, food tends to heat and cook faster and more evenly than other cooking methods.
    A New Industry
    Microwave ovens were first commercially sold in the United States in 1946 under the name Radarange. They rapidly became a coveted kitchen appliance and spawned a whole section of the food industry. Now, one can find ready-to-microwave meals and microwave cookbooks in grocery stores around the world.
    Creating Equality in the Kitchen
    Short cooking times also meant that women did not have to spend a bulk of their time in the kitchen and could use it to pursue activities that they previously did not have time for. In addition, microwave ovens also made it possible for men, who traditionally did not cook, to cook meals for themselves and for their families.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make all your meals and snacks for the day using a microwave oven. If you are in the market for a microwave oven, today might be the day to bring one home? Did You Know…
    ...that the Sun and Jupiter emit microwaves? Astronomers study them using radio telescopes.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Our boatswain's mate was a smoker who would toss his matches overboard. Then one day, he surprised us all when he popped a cigarette in his mouth and produced an expensive lighter from his pocket. With great fanfare, he flipped open the top, flicked the spark wheel, lit his cigarette ... then chucked the lighter overboard.
     
    ***
     
    Dear Charlie,
    We’ve been neighbors for six tumultuous years. When you borrowed my snowblower, you returned it in pieces.
    When I was sick, you blasted Metallica. And when your dog decorated my lawn, you laughed.
    I could go on, but I’m not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire.
    Cordially,
    Harry
     
    ***
     
    The last time we changed from daylight saving time, a preacher friend posted,
    “For those who habitually show up 15 minutes late to church,
    allow me to remind you that tonight is the night you set your clock back 45 minutes.”
     
    ***
     
    My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said,
    “Teach me 
everything you know.”
     
    ***
     
    Our 4-year-old granddaughter, Ivy, has been taking riding lessons for over a year. One day during breakfast, she was talking with her mom about horseshoes.
    Ivy’s mom said the person trained to shoe a horse is called a farrier.
    “Are they little people with wings?” Ivy asked.
     
     
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    " I Love Winter "
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    MDBCs 05 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 856
    December 5th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abercius Clement of Alexandria (Episcopal Church) Crispina Dalmatius of Pavia Gerbold Justinian of Ramsey Island Nicetius (Nizier) Pelinus of Brindisi Sabbas the Sanctified December 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Children's Day (Suriname) Day of Military Honour - Battle of Moscow (Russia) Discovery Day (Haiti and Dominican Republic) International Volunteer Day for Economic and Social Development Klozum (Schiermonnikoog, Netherlands) Saint Nicholas' Eve (Belgium, Czech Republic, Slovakia, the Netherlands, Hungary, Romania, Germany, Poland and the UK) Krampusnacht (Austria) The King Bhumibol Adulyadej Memorial Birthday (Thailand) World Soil Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Bathtub Party Day
    Light up A Life Day
    National AFL-CIO Day
    National Blue Jeans Day
    National Communicate with your kids days
    National Devon Day
    National Father's Day in Thailand
    National Johnny Day
    National Johnny Day
    Sacher-Torte Day
    Walt Disney Day
     
    Joan Didion’s Birthday
    Haley Pham’s Birthday
    Gary Allan’s Birthday
    Frankie Muniz’s Birthday
    Paula Patton’s Birthday
    Taz Skylar’s Birthday
    Martin Van Buren’s Birthday
    Little Richard’s Birthday
    Lauren London’s Birthday
    Khadeen Ellis’s Birthday
    Jules LeBlanc’s Birthday
    Keri Hilson’s Birthday
    Ava Kolker’s Birthday
    Kwon Yuri’s Birthday
    Bianka Bryant’s Birthday
    Lexi Hensler’s Birthday
    Chase Rutherford’s Birthday
    Manish Malhotra’s Birthday
    Christina Rossetti’s Birthday
    Matt James’s Birthday
    Walt Disney’s Birthday
    Saint West’s Birthday
    Clayton Jennings’s Birthday
    UnspeakableGaming’s Birthday
    Conan Gray’s Birthday
    Claudia Walsh’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Tue Dec 5th, 2023 - Sat Dec 9th, 2023
    Inclusive Schools Week
    Tue Dec 5th, 2023 - Mon Dec 11th, 2023
    National Handwashing Awareness Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Day of the Ninja
    December 5 is the Day of the Ninja, a day to honor and celebrate the sneaky and stealthy masked warriors in black garb from ancient Japan.

     
    A) Back in 2003, Ninja Burger created International Ninja Day on December 5 as a way to celebrate the Ninja “speed” with which their burgers are delivered.
    or  ???
    Legend has it that this unofficial holiday was created in 2003 to commemorate the release of Tom Cruise’s movie, The Last Samurai.
    (I vote for the Ninja Burger scenario)
    Professional Spies
    Ninjas were professional spies in Japan. Active between the 13th and the 19th century, a ninja's job included infiltration, sabotage, espionage, and even assassination.
    While popular culture is full of stories about ninjas, usually featured as cunning, secretive, brave, and skillful fighters, there are very few historical accounts of them. Historians believe that in the Japanese society ninjas were not considered to be part of an elite class of fighters - that place was reserved for the samurais. Because of this, ninjas were often recruited to do unsavory tasks like arson and terrorism.
    Did Not Dress in Black
    In those days, a ninja, also known as a shinobi, did not wear the all black outfit ninjas are depicted wearing today in films, TV shows, and comic books. After all, one of the main tasks of a ninja as a spy was to infiltrate by blending into his surroundings. They would often dress as the locals to do their job.
    The secrecy surrounding ninjas led to the rise of legends about their skills and powers - something that has now become a part of popular culture. Modern day depictions of ninjas show them having superhuman powers such as invisibility, ability to walk on water and shape shift.
    How to Celebrate?
    Watch ninja movies or have a Teenage Mutant Ninja marathon. Have a ninja themed party. Everyone dresses like a ninja. Go to work dressed as a ninja and sneak up on your coworkers and friends. Did You Know…
    …that contrary to popular belief, ninjas were not all men? Women ninjas were known as Kunoichi.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”
    Vincent: “One dollar.”
    Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”
    Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”
     
    ***
     
    The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?"
    After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
     
    ***
     
    Teacher: "Why are you so late?"
    Student: "Someone told me to go to hell."
    Teacher: "Why did that make you late to class?"
    Student: "I couldn't find it at first, but now here I am."
     
    ***
     
    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
    "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
    "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
    "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
    "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
     
    ***
     
    An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID.
    "You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old."
    The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license.
    The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. "The tip's for carding me," he said.
    The bartender put the change in the tip cup. "Thanks," he said. "Works every time."
     
     
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    sandrewn
  14. sandrewn

    MDBCs 04 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 855
    December 4th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Ada Anno II Barbara, and its related observances: Barbórka, Miners' Day in Poland Eid il-Burbara, a holiday similar to Halloween in honor of Saint Barbara. (Russia, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, Palestine, Syria, Turkey) Bernardo degli Uberti Clement of Alexandria (Anglicanism, Eastern Catholicism) Giovanni Calabria John of Damascus Maruthas Nicholas Ferrar (Anglicanism) Osmund Sigiramnus December 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Navy Day (India) Thai Environment Day (Thailand) Tupou I Day (Tonga)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Cabernet Franc Day
    Chester Greenwood (Earmuff) Day
    Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day
    Global Fat Bike Day
    International Cheetah Day
    International Day of Banks
    National Dice Day
    National Francis Day
    National Sock Day
    Tree Dressing Day
    Santa’s List Day
    World Wildlife Conservation Day
    National Cookie Day
    Walt Disney Day
     
    Scarlett Estevez’s Birthday
    Rarsclart Marnie’s Birthday
    Ronnie Ortiz-Magro’s Birthday
    Karen Walker’s Birthday
    Marisa Tomei’s Birthday
    Jin’s Birthday
    JellyRoll’s Birthday
    Jay-Z’s Birthday
    Skip Bayless’s Birthday
    Tyra Banks’s Birthday
    Cash Nasty’s Birthday
    Dylan Meyer’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Dec 4th, 2023 - Sun Dec 10th, 2023
    National Human Rights Consciousness Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Wear Brown Shoes Day
    On December 4 take our your best brown shoes and wear them because it is Wear Brown Shoes Day.

    The origins of this sartorial holiday are unknown, but we can safely assume that the holiday aims to encourage people to change up their daily dressing rituals.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wear brown shoes. If you don’t own a pair, maybe today is the day to go get new brown shoes. If you usually wear brown shoes to work, why not wear a different shade of brown – perhaps tan or camel or russet? Did You Know…
    …that the shoes that Neil Armstrong wore when he first stepped on the Moon were left behind? Some say this was to avoid contamination, while others suggest that it was to compensate for the weight of the Moon rocks the astronauts had collected.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "If you can make that horse over there laugh, you can get free drinks for the rest of the night."
    The man walks over, says something to the horse, it laughs, and he walks back over to the bar to collect his free drinks.
    The next night, the man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks the man if he can make the horse cry.
    The man walks over, does something to the horse, and it starts to cry.
    The bartender asks, "How did you make it cry?"
    The man replies, "Well, to make the horse laugh last night I told it I had a bigger dick and to make it cry tonight I showed it."
     
    ***
     
    One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor.
    In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?"
    The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
     
    ***
     
    Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish?
     
    ***
     
    A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat.
    The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador.
    The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."
    The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes.
    The vet answers, "$650."
    "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
    "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."
     
    ***
     
    Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
    Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.
    Daughter: Dad… Daughter: Dad… Dad:
    Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
     
     
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    You guys, explain this one to 'Google ' please.
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    MDBCs 03 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 854
    December 3rd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abbo of Auxerre Pope Abraham of Alexandria (Coptic, 6 Koiak)) Adrian (Ethernan) Birinus Cassian of Tangier Emma (of Lesum or of Bremen) Francis Xavier Blessed Johann Nepomuk von Tschiderer zu Gleifheim Zephaniah December 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Doctors' Day (Cuba) International Day of Persons with Disabilities  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Candle Day
    Coats and Toys for Kids Day
    Crate Day
    Day of Navarre
    Farmer’s Day in Ghana
    Advent Begins - 1
    First Sunday of Advent - 2
    Let’s Hug Day
    National Dorothy Day
    National Green Bean Casserole Day
    National Harley Day
    National Heather Day
    National Isaac Day
    National Lisa Day
    National Rhubarb Vodka Day
    National Ronald Day
    National Roof Over Your Head Day
    Saba Day in Saba
    World Coati Day
     
    Vector’s Birthday
    Lil Baby’s Birthday
    Lil Bibby’s Birthday
    Andy Grammer’s Birthday
    Kiki Pepper’s Birthday
    Rex Lunsford’s Birthday
    Tiffany Haddish’s Birthday
    Gemma Styles’s Birthday
    Jake T. Austin’s Birthday
    Chandler Hallow’s Birthday Emily's Ears’s Birthday
    Brendan Fraser’s Birthday
    Barry Kramer’s Birthday
    Andy Williams’s Birthday
    mks.vision’s Birthday
    Daily Dose of Internet’s Birthday
    Ozzy Osbourne’s Birthday
    Jenna Dewan’s Birthday
    Rico Love’s Birthday
    Julianne Moore’s Birthday
    Trina’s Birthday
    Amanda Seyfried’s Birthday
    Lily Weber’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Make a Gift Day
    Take out the glitter, the yarn and your glue gun because it is Make A Gift Day.

    The unofficial holiday is annually celebrated on December 3. It encourages people to lovingly hand craft gifts for all their loved ones.
    The holidays are just around the corner. And if you are panicking about all the gifts you still have to buy and worrying about how your wallet is feeling lighter by the day, then Make a Gift Day is the unofficial holiday for you!
    Show Your Love
    Gifts are a way for people to show love and concern for the recipients. They may also be presented as a token of respect or as a sign of forgiveness. In many cultures, gifts are given out during festivals, weddings and other major life events like birthdays, retirements and housewarmings.
    How to Celebrate
    This is an easy one! Make handmade gifts for everyone this holiday season! They will appreciate all the hard work you have put in it. Plus your wallet will thank you come January. Host a gift making party. Gather around your arts and crafts supplies and get together with your friends to DIY some gifts. Don't have a DIY skill? This is the day to pick up a hobby so that you can start making handmade gifts for your family and friends in the New Year. Did You Know...
    ...that in China, gifts wrapped in red paper are considered to bring luck to the recipient?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
    "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
    The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
    The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked.
    "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "
    Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
    "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
     
    ***
     
    A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
    In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
    The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."
     
    ***
     
    A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"
    She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
     
    ***
     
    In ancient Rome, deli workers were told that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour. Anything, that is except the smoked salmon.
    Thus were created the world's first anti-lox breaks.
     
     
    ***
     
     

    This Wooly Worm Caterpillar Can Predict Winter Weather
     
    This Wooly Worm Caterpillar Can Predict Winter Weather and It's Basically The New Punxsutawney Phil
     
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    Devil's Tower. From west side, showing millions of tons of fallen rock.
    Tower 800 feet high from its base.
     
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    ' WOW '
     
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    Can't do this in your Prius
     
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    ' Chicken House '
     
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    Now That is a "Saw fish"
     
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    MDBCs 02 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 853
    December 2nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Cuba) Christian feast day: Avitus of Rouen Bibiana Channing Moore Williams (Anglicanism) Chromatius Habakkuk (Eastern Orthodox) December 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day for the Abolition of Slavery (United Nations) Lao National Day National Day (United Arab Emirates)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Asom Divas
    Bartender Appreciation Day
    Business of Popping Corn Day
    International Sweater Vestival
    National Anytime Hawaiian Day
    National Bartender Day
    National Build Joy Day
    National Katherine Day
    National Mutt Day
    National Skip School Day
    Safety Razor Day
    SKYWARN™ Recognition Day
    Special Education Day
    World Computer Literacy Day
    World Pollution Prevention Day
    Candle Day
    Play Basketball Day
    Global Fat Bike Day
     
    Ssundee’s Birthday
    Ryker Person’s Birthday
    Nailah Blackman’s Birthday
    Nelly Furtado’s Birthday
    Juice WRLD’s Birthday
    Lucy Liu’s Birthday
    Charlie Puth’s Birthday
    Gianni Versace’s Birthday
    Britney Spears’s Birthday
    Action Bronson’s Birthday
    Abra’s Birthday
    Aaron Rodgers’s Birthday
    Teairra Marí’s Birthday
    Pedro Vargas’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Fritters Day
    December 2 is Fritters Day, an unofficial holiday that is dedicated to the snack made by frying battered vegetables, fruits or meat.

    Traditionally thought to be types of cake, fritters are usually deep fried and can be served as snack, main course or even dessert. In many cultures, they are considered to be fast and casual food, commonly prepared by street side vendors. Fritters are also sold at fairs and festivals.
    Culinary Controversy
    There is some debate within the culinary community as to what kind of fried food can be considered a fritter. Some culinarians believe that anything that is battered and fried is a fritter, while others assert that a fritter must have the main ingredient chopped up and fried with the flour batter or dough. This can lead to some confusion over the nomenclature of fried foods - corn dogs are not considered to be fritters, because they are made by battering and frying a whole corn dog. Fried candy bars on the other hand, while being the sweet version of a fried corn dog – a whole candy bar battered and fried, are often called fritters.
    Different Varieties
    Every culture around the world has its own version of the fritter. In the United States, fritters are usually made by mixing vegetables or fruits with a batter of flour and eggs. Popular fritters include corn fritters, apple fritters, and crab cakes. In Japan, tempura is a popular type of fritter and is served with sauces or with other dishes. In many parts of India, and Pakistan, fritters are called pakora and are made by mixing vegetables - usually onions or potatoes - with a batter of chick pea flour and deep frying them.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have fritters for all your meals. Start the day with donuts, have tempura for lunch, onion pakoras for a snack and corn fritters for dinner. For dessert, have churros - a sweet fritter of Spanish origin - with a cup of hot chocolate. Make your own fritters at home. Experiment with the flavors - raid your fridge and fry whatever you can think can be fried with batter. Of course, if all one has to do is batter and fry something to make a fritter, does that make deep fried Twinkies a Twinkie Fritter? The mind boggles indeed.
    Did You Know…
    …that the word fritter has another definition, unrelated to food, in the English language? It means to waste something, usually unwisely.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.
    As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
    "Okay," I said.
    She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
     
    ***
     
    Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
    The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
    The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"
    The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
    The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
     
    ***
     
    A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
    That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position.
    The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went.
    The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
     
    ***
     
    “Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: ‘I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people.’ ”
    “Had a woman call 911 because she ‘had déjà vu in the shower and got nervous.’”
    “Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.”
    Source: Overheard in the ER
     
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    MDBCs 01 Dec 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 852
    December 1st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Battle of the Sinop Day (Russia) Christian feast day: Alexander Briant Ansanus Blessed Bruna Pellesi Castritian Blessed Charles de Foucauld Edmund Campion Eligius Evasius Grwst Nahum Nicholas Ferrar (Episcopal Church) Ralph Sherwin Ursicinus of Brescia December 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Damrong Rajanubhab Day (Thailand) Earliest day on which Farmer's Day can fall, while December 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Friday in December. (Ghana) Earliest day on which Good Neighborliness Day can fall, while December 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday in December. (Turkmenistan) Earliest day on which Sindhi Cultural Day can fall, while December 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday in December. (Sindhi diaspora) First President Day (Kazakhstan) Freedom and Democracy Day (Chad) Great Union Day, celebrates the Union of Transylvania with Romania in 1918. (Romania) Military Abolition Day (Costa Rica) National Day (Myanmar) Republic Day (Central African Republic) Restoration of Independence Day (Portugal) Rosa Parks Day (Ohio and Oregon, United States) Self-governance Day or Fullveldisdagurinn (Iceland) Teachers' Day (Panama) World AIDS Day, and its related observances: Day Without Art  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day
    National Peppermint Bark Day
    Commemoration Day
    Indigenous Faith Day in Arunachal Pradesh
    National Christmas Lights Day
    National Cookie Cutter Day
    National Package Protection Day
    National Women Support Women Day
    Portugal Independence Day
    Prisoners for Peace Day
    Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting
    State Inauguration Day in Nagaland
    National Bartender Day
    Faux Fur Friday
    Wear a Dress Day
     
    Salva Dut’s Birthday
    Sarah Silverman’s Birthday
    Philip DeFranco’s Birthday
    Richard Pryor’s Birthday
    Natalie Noel’s Birthday
    Nicholas James Muscarella’s Birthday
    Javier Báez’s Birthday
    Jen Psaki’s Birthday
    Janelle Monae’s Birthday
    Drakeo’s Birthday
    Dianna Williams’s Birthday
    Tyler Joseph’s Birthday
    Zoë Kravitz’s Birthday
    Bette Midler’s Birthday
    Corinna Kopf’s Birthday
    Woody Allen Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Fri Dec 1st, 2023 - Thu Dec 7th, 2023
    Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week
    National Cookie Cutter Week
     
    Observances (click on the month for details)
    Gift of Sight Month
    Month of Giving
    Month of Overseas Filipino
    National Cat Lovers’ Month
    National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month
    National Tie Month
    National Volunteers Month
    National Write a Business Plan Month
    Operation Santa Paws
    Safe Toys and Gifts Month
    Spiritual Literacy Month
    The Nos Galan Road Races
    Universal Human Rights Month
    Volunteerism Month (Philippines)
    Worldwide Food Service Safety Month
    National Pear Month
     
    Fun Observances
    Eat a Red Apple Day
    December 1 is Eat a Red Apple Day, an unofficial holiday that celebrates one of the healthiest fruits available in nature's pantry.

    One of the oldest fruits to be grown and consumed by humans, apples are thought to be native to the Central Asian region. Today, about 10,000 types of apples are grown all over the world.
    Apples can come in a variety of colors, though the most common are red and green or golden apples.
    Full of Nutrition
    Apples are some of the healthiest fruits known to man. They are very low in calories, have high amounts of fiber and Vitamin C and their skin is full of antioxidants. They are thought to have bad cholesterol reducing properties and can help lower the risk of certain types of cancer.
    How to Celebrate?
    With lots of red apples of course! Have caramelized apples with your french toast or pancakes. Have an apple and walnut salad for lunch and pork chops with apples for dinner. And don't forget the apple pie for dessert! Did You Know…
    …that apples from trees that grow from apple seeds tend to be very sour and bitter? Sweet apple trees are grown by grafting.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
    A: Microchips!
    ***
    I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."
    ***
    Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
    A: Had a byte!
    ***
    Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
    A: Envelope.
    ***
    Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
    ***
    Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
    A: Snowballs.
    ***
    I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
    ***
    Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?
    ***
    If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
     
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    When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85.
    That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
     
     
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    sandrewn
     
     
  18. sandrewn

    MDBCs 30 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 851
    November 30th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Bonifacio Day (Philippines) Christian feast day: Andrew and its related observances. Joseph Marchand (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) November 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration Day (United Arab Emirates) Day to Mark the Departure and Expulsion of Jews from the Arab Countries and Iran (Israel) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Barbados from the United Kingdom in 1966 National Day (Benin) Regina Mundi Day (South Africa) Saint Andrew's Day (Scotland)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Barbados Independence Day
    Cities for Life Day
    Day of Remembrance for all Victims of Chemical Warfare
    Guru Nanak Jayanti
    Meth Awareness Day
    Mindanao Week of Peace
    National Mason Jar Day
    National Mississippi Day
    National Mousse Day
    National Personal Space Day
    National Stay at Home Because You're Well Day
    Native Women's Equal Pay Day
    Perpetual Youth Day
    International ESG Day
    International Systems Engineer Day
     
    Nyjah Huston’s Birthday
    Pigeon John’s Birthday
    Mandy Patinkin’s Birthday
    Mark Twain’s Birthday
    Winston Churchill’s Birthday
    Bo Jackson’s Birthday
    Ian Hecox’s Birthday
    Steve Aoki’s Birthday
    Emily Skinner’s Birthday
    Hannah Bagshawe’s Birthday
    Der Echter Gangster’s Birthday
    Chrissy Teigen’s Birthday
    Cheyenne Evans’s Birthday
    Rianna Pepe’s Birthday
    Jill Zarin’s Birthday
    Stephanie Carrillo’s Birthday
    Jorge Garay’s Birthday
    Trill Sammy’s Birthday
    Kaley Cuoco’s Birthday
    Woody Allen’s Birthday
    Billy Idol’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Computer Security Day
    November 30 is Computer Security Day. The unofficial holiday encourages people to secure their computers and their personal information.

    Computers, electronic devices, and smart phones have made our lives easier by making communication faster, more convenient and more efficient. At the same time, they have created many privacy and security issues. The holiday reminds people to stay on top of their computer security and to take steps to make their personal information and data secure.
    Since 1988
    First observed in 1988, Computer Security Day (CSD), is now celebrated worldwide by businesses, schools and government organizations. If the holiday falls on a weekend, many companies celebrate it on the first business day after November 30.
    How to Celebrate?
    Using the same old password or the same password for all your online accounts? You may be vulnerable to hackers. Spend the day changing and updating your passwords. Sign up for a password manager that not only generates random passwords for you but can also save them for you so you don’t have to remember them. Update all your spyware and malware protection software. Back up your files and photographs. If you own a business or are responsible for organizing events at your workplace, why not hold a computer security seminar for your employees and co-workers? Draw up a security strategy and best practices for all of them to follow and present it at the meeting. Did You Know…
    …that the first known computer virus was called the Creeper Virus? The virus affected the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network or ARPANET, the precursor to today’s internet.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
    The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
    The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
    The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
    The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
     
    ***
     
    After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
    Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help.
    Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
     
    ***
     
    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
     
    ***
     
    Three brothers wanted to give their blind mom a birthday gift. The first got her a big beautiful house.
    The second got her a brand new luxury vehicle with a driver.
    The third got her a talking parrot to keep her company.
    When they all got together, they wanted to know which gift she liked best.
    She said they were all great but she thanked her third son because she liked the chicken dinner best.
     
    ***
     
    My high school assignment 
was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served 
in the Philippines during the war, 
I chose him.
    After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”
    Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.”
     
     
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    (1923)
     
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    Negro Boys Industrial School Fire of 1959 - Encyclopedia of Arkansas
     
    ***
     
    I got a bit carried away, sorry. I did not not mean to offend or upset any of you. But all these things did happen and so much more. I am almost sure that most of you did not know, most  any of this either. Before any of us cast the first stone, let us check our own pasts' a little more carefully.
     
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    sandrewn
  19. sandrewn

    MDBCs 29 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 850
    November 29th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Brendan of Birr Francis Fasani Illuminata Radboud of Utrecht Saturnin November 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People (United Nations) Liberation Day or Dita e Çlirimit (Albania) Republic Day (Yugoslavia) Unity Day (Vanuatu) William Tubman's Birthday (Liberia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Chadwick Boseman Day
    Choose Women Wednesday
    Isdal Woman Day
    National Evan Day
    National Lemon Cream Pie Day
    Square Dancing Day
    Throw Out Your Leftovers Day
    Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting
    Package Protection Day
    National Chocolates Day
    International Jaguar Day
     
    Reginae Carter’s Birthday
    Anna Faris’s Birthday
    Laura Marano’s Birthday
    Louisa May Alcott’s Birthday
    Howie Mandel’s Birthday
    Kennedy Cymone’s Birthday
    Don Cheadle’s Birthday
    Fawad Khan’s Birthday
    Chris Chann’s Birthday
    Chadwick Boseman’s Birthday
    C.S. Lewis’s Birthday
    Vin Scully’s Birthday
    The Game’s Birthday
    Tiffany Smith’s Birthday
    Brian Baumgartner’s Birthday
    Russell Wilson’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Electronic Greeting Card Day
    November 29 is Electronic Greeting Card Day. Spread cheer by sending personalized e-cards to your family and friends.

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, it is clear that the holiday aims to encourage people to start a conversation with family and friends you haven't seen or spoken to for a while over the Internet. Sending e-cards or e-greetings can not only spread cheer, it can also help people reconnect.
    How to Celebrate?
    Send e-cards. They are easy, environmentally friendly and cheap to send. You don’t need an occasion to send e-cards to your loved ones – just send a card to tell them that you care about them and how much they mean to you. Make your own holiday greeting card and send them to your loved ones online instead of mailing copies. Did You Know…
    …that the e-card was created in 1994 by Judith Donath in the form of an electronic postcard?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    There were two cannibals who captured a man. They decided it would be fair if they started eating from opposite ends. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asked the other one, "How's it going down there?"
    And the other one replies, "I'm having a ball!"
     
    ***
     
    A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father.
    The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything.
    Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything.
    The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born.
    The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.
     
    ***
     
    A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?"
    The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle.
    Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"
     
    ***
     
    When my three-year-old was told 
to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous.
    With 
a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    MDBCs 28 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 849
    November 28th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Albanian Flag Day, celebrate the independence of Albania from Turkey in 1912, the first Albanian flag raise by Skanderbeg in 1443, and for the new parliamentary constitution in 1998. Bedfordshire day is celebrated in the county of Bedfordshire to celebrate the birth of John Bunyan Bukovina Day (Romania) Christian feast day: Acacius, Hirenarchus, and companions, of Sebaste Catherine Labouré Feast of the Holy Sovereigns (Episcopal Diocese of Hawaii) Herman of Alaska, the anniversary of his actual death. Eastern Orthodox James of the Marches Kamehameha and Emma (Episcopal Church (USA)) Our Lady of Kibeho Pope Gregory III Rufus (no. 8) Stephen the Younger November 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Heroes' Day (Sri Lanka) Hōonkō (Japan) Independence Day (Mauritania), celebrate the independence of Mauritania from France in 1960. Independence Day (Panama), celebrate the independence of Panama from Spain in 1821. Navy Day (Iran) Proclamation of Independence Day (East Timor), celebrate the independence of East Timor from Portugal in 1975. Republic Day (Burundi) Republic Day (Chad)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Giving Tuesday
    National Alan Day
    National Cole Day
    National French Toast Day
    National Madison Day
    National Patrick Day
     
    Rosemarie Vega’s Birthday
    Judd Nelson’s Birthday
    Karen Gillan’s Birthday
    Jarvis Landry’s Birthday
    Jon Stewart’s Birthday
    Fatman Scoop’s Birthday
    Jake Miller’s Birthday
    Christine Blasey Ford’s Birthday
    Chase Elliott’s Birthday
    Bryshere Gray’s Birthday
    Ryan Letourneau’s Birthday
    Arjun Gupta’s Birthday
    Anna Nicole Smith’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Red Planet Day
    November 28 is Red Planet Day, a day to celebrate and learn more about the Red Planet - Mars. The planet is called so because it appears red in color.

    The date of the unofficial holiday commemorates the day in 1964 when Mariner 4, a robotic interplanetary probe was launched by NASA and the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL).
    Close-up of Mars
    In the 8 months it was on its mission, the Mariner 4 became the first spacecraft to successfully fly by Mars. It also gave the world the first close-up images of Mars. Since then several exploratory missions have been sent to Mars to gather data about the planet.
    Today, 5 spacecrafts orbit Mars and 2 spacecrafts - the Curiosity Rover and the Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity - are on the planet's surface. All 7 send incredible amount of data about the planet back to astronomers on Earth.
    Similar to Earth
    Named after the Roman god of war, Mars is the seventh smallest planet in the Solar System. Similar to Earth in many ways - it has the same rotational period and seasonal cycles - Mars has 2 moons, Deimos and Phobos, and has the largest volcano, Olympus Mons, in the Solar System.
    Because of its similarity to Earth, many astronomers and scientists believe that at some point in its history Mars may have been a hospitable planet for life.
    Exploration of Mars has been high on the agenda of the space programs of many countries. NASA, the American space agency has estimated that it could send humans to the Red Planet by the 2030s.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the planet and its environment. Join a local astronomy club and see if you can get a glimpse of the planet. Did You Know…
    …that the reason Mars appears red is because its surface is rich in iron oxide or rust?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    I wonder what Edward Scissorhands thinks of touchscreen technology.
    ***
    How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach? You look for the sesame seed buns!
    ***
    I asked my three year old grandson Malachi what his name was, he replied, "Spiderman."
    I said, "Malachi, what is your real name?"
    He replied, "Peter Parker."
    ***
    "Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room." — Phyllis Diller
    ***
    I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
     
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    Q: What kind of exercise do lazy 
people do?
    A: Diddly-squats.
     
     
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    Frank Woodruff Buckles (born Wood Buckles, February 1, 1901 – February 27, 2011) was a United States Army corporal and the last surviving American military veteran of World War I. He enlisted in the U.S. Army in 1917 at the age of 16 and served with a detachment from Fort Riley, driving ambulances and motorcycles near the front lines in Europe.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The last living veteran of World War I was Florence Green, a British citizen who served in the Allied armed forces, and who died 4 February 2012, aged 110.[1] The last combat veteran was Claude Choules, who served in the British Royal Navy (and later the Royal Australian Navy) and died 5 May 2011, aged 110.[2] The last veteran who served in the trenches was Harry Patch (British Army), who died on 25 July 2009, aged 111. The last Central Powers veteran, Franz Künstler of Austria-Hungary, died on 27 May 2008 at the age of 107.
     
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    sandrewn
  21. sandrewn

    MDBCs 27 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread CRumbs 848
    November 27th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Acarius of Tournai Barlaam and Josaphat Bilihildis Congar of Congresbury Facundus and Primitivus Humilis of Bisignano James Intercisus Leonard of Port Maurice Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal (Roman Catholic) Secundinus Siffredus of Carpentras Vergilius of Salzburg Clovis I November 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Lancashire Day (United Kingdom) Maaveerar Day (Tamil Eelam, Sri Lanka) Naval Infantry Day (Russia) Teacher's Day (Spain)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Chatham Islands Anniversary Day
    Cyber Monday
    National Bavarian Cream Pie Day
    National Brand Day
    National Craft Jerky Day
    National Lawrence Day
    National Sovereignty Day Argentina
    Pins and Needles Day
    Turtle Adoption Day
     
    Ohgeesy’s Birthday
    William Fichtner’s Birthday
    Jet Jurgensmeyer’s Birthday
    James Avery’s Birthday
    Jaleel White’s Birthday
    Golnesa Gharachedaghi’s Birthday
    Chanyeol’s Birthday
    Caroline Kennedy’s Birthday
    Bruce Lee’s Birthday
    Bonnie Hoellein’s Birthday
    Blackbear’s Birthday
    Stephanie Soo’s Birthday
    Sam Golbach’s Birthday
    Shaunie O'Neal’s Birthday
    Amanda Todd’s Birthday
    Twista’s Birthday
    Bill Nye’s Birthday
    Jimi Hendrix’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Nov 27th, 2023 - Tue Nov 28th, 2023
    Yi Peng Festival
     
    Mon Nov 27th, 2023 - Tue Dec 5th, 2023
    National Tree Week
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man, "Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town."
    The old man says, "We're from Nebraska."
    Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?"
    The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from."
    "Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires.
    When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of ass I ever had was from Nebraska."
    The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?"
    The husband replies, "He thinks he knows you, mama."
     
    ***
     
    A little boy gets a toy plane. The boy loves his plane. He flies it all over the house. One day, the boy is in the living room with his plane while his mom is in the kitchen washing dishes. She listens to the boy playing and hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you mother fucking people want to get on, get on. All you mother fucking people want to get off, get off."
    Angry, his mom rushes into the living room, takes the plane away, and sends him into his room. After 15 minutes, she starts to feel bad and tells the boy, "If you don't use that kind of language, you can play with your plane."
    The boy returns to the living room, his mom to the kitchen. She listens again to the boy playing, she hears him say, "Vroom, vroom, vroom. All you very nice people want to get on, get on. All you very nice people want to get off, get off. If you have a problem with 15 minute delay, you can go talk to the bitch in the kitchen!"
     
    ***
     
    A boy went home from school. His homework was to put down the things his family said.

    So he goes to his mother who was talking on the phone. The boy asked "Mum, can you help me do my homework? The mother says "Shut up!" And goes back talking on the phone. The boy wrote that down.
    He then went to his father watching a football commercial saying "Hell yeah!"
    So the boy wrote that down.
    The boy went to his little sister and his sister said "Lollipop, Lollipop"
    So the boy wrote that down.
    The boy went to his little brother and the brother said "DUNDUNUNUNUN, BATMAN!"
    So the boy wrote that down.

    The next day, the boy went to school and the teacher said "So what are the words?"
    The boy said "Shut up!"
    The teacher, shocked, calmly said " Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
    The boy said "Hell yeah!"

    So at the principal's office, the principal said "What do you think you deserve in this situation?"
    The boy said "Lollipop lollipop!"
    The principal yelled "Who do you think you are?!"

    And the boy said " DUNUNUNUNU, BATMAN!"
     
    ***
     
    After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS,
    “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If 
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    MDBCs 26 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 847
    November 26th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Alypius the Stylite Basolus (Basle) Bellinus of Padua Conrad of Constance Ethelwine of Athelney John Berchmans Pope Siricius Stylianos of Paphlagonia (Eastern Orthodoxy) Sylvester Gozzolini Isaac Watts (Episcopal Church (USA)) November 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Abkhazia, Georgia) Constitution Day (India) Republic Day (Mongolia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Anti Obesity Day
    Christ the King Feast
    Dev Diwali
    Good Grief Day
    International Cake Day
    International Shift Worker Sunday
    National Alexis Day
    National Eric Day
    National Heath Day
    Stir-Up Sunday
    World Lewis Day
    Aura Awareness Day
     
    Ryan Bergara’s Birthday
    Mina Starsiak Hawk’s Birthday
    Olivia O'Brien’s Birthday
    Lil Fizz’s Birthday
    Luka Sabbat’s Birthday
    Chip’s Birthday
    DJ Khaled’s Birthday
    Charles Schulz’s Birthday
    Belle Bambi’s Birthday
    Bailey Sarian’s Birthday
    ThunThun Skittles’s Birthday
    Tina Turner’s Birthday
    Android Jones’s Birthday
    Anuel AA’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun Nov 26th, 2023 - Sat Dec 2nd, 2023
    Philatelic Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Cake Day
    Cake Day is on November 26. Have your cake and eat it too on one of the greatest holidays ever invented.

    Also known as National Cake Day in the United States, this unofficial holiday whose origins are unknown, celebrates and honors cake, the food of champions.
    Used for Religious Ceremonies
    Cake has been everyone's favorite dessert since ancient times, though the earliest cakes were more like bread and were usually sweetened with honey. These cakes were mostly used for religious purposes and in religious and cultural ceremonies and were usually round in shape since they were made and molded by hands.
    These days, advances in baking technology have made cake baking and decorating a specialized culinary field with bakers and decorators constantly trying to create elaborate, gravity defying cakes.
    Symbol of Celebration
    In modern times, cake is seen as a symbol of celebration. Most special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and weddings prominently feature cakes.
    In popular culture, the term cake day is also sometimes used to refer to one's birthday. On the popular social media website Reddit, the term is used when marking the anniversary of the day a member's username was born. Users usually add an icon of a cake next to their names on that day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat cake! For breakfast, lunch and dinner. Make your favorite cake and don't forget to share it with friends and family. Have a cake baking contest at work. Whoever wins for the best cake gets to take the leftovers (if any) home. If the day coincides with Thanksgiving in the United States, replace the pie at your thanksgiving table with cake. Or even better just add cake to the array of desserts. Did You Know…
    …that the term cake comes from the Old Norse word kaka?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    A little girl is serving her father tea while her mother is out shopping. The mother comes home and the father says, "Watch this!"
    The little girl goes and serves the mother tea.
    The mother responds, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"
     
    ***
     
    It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
    Father Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
    Mother Bear sticks her head out the kitchen door and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?
    It was Mother Bear who go up first. It was Mother Bear who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mother Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mother Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Mother Bear who set the table. It was Mother Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish.
    And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence, listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time: I haven't made the f*cking porridge yet!"
     
    ***
     
    A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?"
    His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy"
    He then asked, "How old are you?"
    She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy."
    Finally he asked, "Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, "Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sex."
     
    ***
     
    Been reading up on the 
thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
     
     
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    Is anyone in Washington ( or Ottawa ) listening?
     
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    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    MDBCs 25 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 846
    November 25th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Catherine Labouré Catherine of Alexandria and its related observances Elizabeth of Reute Isaac Watts (Lutheran Church and Church of England) James Otis Sargent Huntington (Episcopal Church) November 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Suriname from the Netherlands in 1975. International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women National Day (Bosnia and Herzegovina) Teachers' Day (Indonesia) Vajiravudh Memorial Day (Thailand)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Aura Awareness Day
    Blasé Day
    National Parfait Day
    National Play Day with Dad
    Small Business Saturday
    White Ribbon Day
    Gazpacho Soup Day
     
    Corbyn Besson’s Birthday
    Kevin Chamberlin’s Birthday
    Sean Lew’s Birthday
    Juliet Angus’s Birthday
    Joe DiMaggio’s Birthday
    Jaylen Waddle’s Birthday
    Disguised Toast’s Birthday
    Dennis Smith Jr.’s Birthday
    Diego Tinoco’s Birthday
    Abby D Phillip’s Birthday
    Garland Brown’s Birthday
    Amy Grant’s Birthday
    Jenna Bush Hager’s Birthday
    Andrew Carnegie’s Birthday
    John F. Kennedy Jr.’s Birthday
    Augusto Pinochet’s Birthday
    Katie Cassidy’s Birthday
    Casey Holmes’s Birthday
    Maura Higgins’s Birthday
    Chase Grzegorczyk’s Birthday
    Sonja Morgan’s Birthday
    Christina Applegate’s Birthday
    Trey Traylor’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sat Nov 25th, 2023 - Tue Dec 12th, 2023
    18 Day Campaign to End VAW
     
    Fun Observances
    Shopping Reminder Day
    On November 25, get your holiday shopping list organized and get ready to shop till you drop because it is Shopping Reminder Day!

    December is thought to be the year’s busiest shopping season and if you want to avoid the crowds and the stress of last minute shopping now is the time to begin.
    Shopping Reminder Day is an unofficial holiday that reminds people that Christmas is only a month away and that they should get a head start on their holiday shopping.
    How to Celebrate?
    Draw out your holiday gift list. Shop online so that you don’t have to go to the stores. Did You Know...
    ...that according to some sources the busiest shopping day of the year is the Saturday before Christmas?
     
      ***
     
     
    The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado.
    He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."
     
    ***
     
    Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it.
    Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies,
    "Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."
     
    ***
     
    At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

    Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth."
    His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."
    The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
    The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
     
    ***
     
    Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
    One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
    "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was."
    The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
     
    ***
     
    I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous.
    “This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure,” the anesthesiologist reassured me.
    I felt better, until … “Heck,” he continued,
    “you have 
a better chance of dying from the 
anesthesia than the surgery itself.”
     
     
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    Washington Bus Tour 1908 Post Card Horseless Open Carriage Advertising
     
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    MDBCs 24 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 845
    November 24th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Albert of Louvain Andrew Dũng-Lạc, Pierre Dumoulin-Borie, and other Vietnamese Martyrs Chrysogonus (Roman Catholic Church) Colmán of Cloyne (Roman Catholic Church) Eanflæd Firmina (Roman Catholic Church) Flavian of Ricina (Roman Catholic Church) Flora and Maria Jehu Jones (Lutheran) Justus Falckner (Lutheran) Kenan (Cianán) Mercurius (Eastern Church) Pierre Dumoulin-Borie Protasius of Milan Romanus of Blaye November 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Harvest Day can fall, while November 30 is the latest; celebrated on the last Sunday in November. (Turkmenistan) Earliest day on which Mother's Day can fall, while November 30 is the latest; celebrated on the last Sunday in November. (Russia) Evolution Day (International observance) Lachit Divas (Assam) Martyrdom of Guru Tegh Bahadur (India) Teachers' Day (Turkey)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Black Friday 2022
    Buy Nothing Day
    D.B. Cooper Day
    Flossing Day
    Fur-Free Friday
    Maize Day
    National Day of Listening
    National Oliver Day
    National Sardines Day
    Native American Heritage Day
    Sinkie Day
    Systems Engineer Day
    You’re Welcomegiving Day
     
    Peyton Meyer’s Birthday
    Sarah Hyland’s Birthday
    Natalie Odell’s Birthday
    LiAngelo Ball’s Birthday
    Katherine Heigl’s Birthday
    Savannah Jordan’s Birthday
    Scott Joplin’s Birthday
    Grace Shadrack’s Birthday
    Jimmy Graham’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
    Embrace your unique talent and celebrate it, no matter how quirky it is on November 24 or Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day.

    Sing out loud from the rooftops, dance on the streets, paint a picture, jump through hoops or wiggle your nose. Our unique talents are some of the things that make us who we are and in many cases define our personalities and our outlook to life.
    This unofficial holiday of unknown origins encourages people to wholeheartedly accept their special talent and showcase it to the world.
    How to Celebrate?
    This one's easy. Whether you sing, dance, juggle, look like a celebrity or can do headstands for an hour while singing the national anthem and balancing a basketball on your feet, do everything in your power to let the world know about your unique talent. Here are some ways how:
    Host a talent show at work or among your friends and give them a chance to show off their skills. Make a video of you performing your talent and post it on a video sharing website - share your unique talent with the world. Did You Know…
    …that talent was once an ancient measurement of weight? It was also used as a way to value work. A talent in ancient Greece was equivalent to about 55 pounds or 25 kilograms of silver.
     
     
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    Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
    "That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
    That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
    Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
     
    ***
     
    A kid walks up to his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go bungee jumping?"
    The mom says "No, you were born from broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!"
     
    ***
     
    There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
    Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
     
    ***
     
    A man told a friend about taking his wife to dinner for their anniversary. He described how the food was made in front of them.
    The friend said, “I’ve heard of places like that, what is the name of the restaurant?”
    The man replied, “Subway.”
     
     
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    A Favorite Haunt For Lawyers With A Conscience
    We can't think of many more novels (or movies, for that matter) more worthy to name a restaurant after and the wordplay on display here is, to be fair, on point. Here's hoping the theme of this popular-looking bar — based on the legendary novel by Harper Lee, "To Kill a Mockingbird" — continues when you step through the door because we'd love to stop by for a cold bottle of Judge Taylor, or perhaps a shot of Atticus.  
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    Thomas The Tank Engine was living a good life and he seemed happy as well. But the bad company and wrong choices led him to this track. By the way, it is slightly terrifying as well.
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    MDBCs 23 Nov 2023

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 844
    November 23rd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alexander Nevsky (Repose, Russian Orthodox Church) Blessed Miguel Agustín Pro – one of Saints of the Cristero War (Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church) Columbanus Felicitas of Rome Paulinus of Wales Pope Clement I (Roman Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion, and the Lutheran Church) Trudo (or Trond) Wilfetrudis (or Vulfetrude) Labor Thanksgiving Day (Japan) Repudiation Day (Frederick County, Maryland, United States) Rudolf Maister Day (Slovenia) St George's Day (Georgia) or Giorgoba (Georgia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, week or month for details)
    Eat A Cranberry Day
    Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
    National Cashew Day
    National Day of Mourning
    National Dog Show Broadcast
    National Espresso Day
    National Family Health History Day
    National Margaret Day
    Thankful For My Dog Day
    Thanksgiving
    Turkey-free Thanksgiving
    Unthanksgiving Day
    Wolfenoot
    Doctor Who Day
     
    Robin Rene Roberts’s Birthday
    Miley Cyrus’s Birthday
    Nikachu’s Birthday
    Maxwell Caulfield’s Birthday
    Mike Moradian’s Birthday
    Yanyan De Jesus’s Birthday
    Lil Niqo’s Birthday
    Jack Maynard’s Birthday
    John Schnatter’s Birthday
    Christopher Vélez Muñoz’s Birthday
    Hannah Ferrier’s Birthday
    Chris Hardwick’s Birthday
    Bradley Steven Perry’s Birthday
    Billy the Kid’s Birthday
    Snooki’s Birthday
    Lia Marie Johnson’s Birthday
    Traci Young-Byron’s Birthday
    Alan Stokes’s Birthday
    Avani Gregg’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thu Nov 23rd, 2023 - Sun Dec 31st, 2023
    A Blue Christmas
     
    Fun Observances
    Fibonacci Day
    November 23 is Fibonacci Day, an annual holiday that honors one of the most influential mathematicians of the Middle Ages - Leonardo Bonacci.

    Also known as Leonardo of Pisa, he is popularly known as Leonardo Fibonacci. Fibonacci is a contraction of filo Bonacci, meaning the son of Bonaccio.
    Date Sequence
    November 23 is celebrated as Fibonacci day because when the date is written in the mm/dd format (11/23), the digits in the date form a Fibonacci sequence: 1,1,2,3. A Fibonacci sequence is a series of numbers where a number is the sum of the two numbers before it. For example: 1, 1, 2, 3...is a Fibonacci sequence. Here, 2 is the sum of the two numbers before it (1+1). Similarly, 3 is the sum of the two numbers before it (1+2).
    The Rabbit Question
    The Fibonacci sequence, one of the biggest accomplishments of Leonardo of Pisa came from a simple puzzle about rabbit population. In his book Liber acaci, Fibonacci posed this puzzle: if there are a pair of newly born rabbit - male and female - in the field and if they are able to produce another pair of rabbits in their second month of life, how many pairs of rabbits will be there after a year?
    Born in 1170 in Pisa, Italy, Fibonacci was also responsible for making the Hindu-Arabic numerals popular in Europe. In Liber acaci he advocated the use of these numerals, explained the use of zero, provided ways to convert between currencies and different measurements, and described how to calculate interest.
    Fibonacci in Nature
    One of the beauties of the Fibonacci sequence is that the series is evident all over the natural world. Petal arrangements in flowers, the ordering of leaves in plants, the shell of the nautilus, the DNA molecule and even hurricanes show patterns that correspond to the sequence.
    How to Celebrate?
    Start the day by learning more about the Fibonacci sequence and its theoretical and practical uses. A number of fruits and vegetables, like pineapples, romanesco (a cross between broccoli and cauliflower) display the Fibonacci series - incorporate them in your meals to celebrate this mathematical holiday. Have children in your life? Introduce them to the elegance of math and the importance of learning it to use in real life. Did You Know…
    …that the ratio of two successive numbers in the Fibonacci sequence is very close to the Golden Ratio? The Golden Ratio is approximately equal to 1.6. Objects whose length and breadth exhibit the Golden Ratio are thought to be the most pleasing to the eye.
     
     
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    Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

    Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.

    Boss: Well there is now !

    Employee: How?

    Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left.
     
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    Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob.
    Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her]
     
    ***
     
    Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch."
    He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest."
    The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means.
    His dad answers, "It means food on the table."
    At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means.
    She responds, "It means getting ready."
    The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"
     
    ***
     
    The black lacquer stand 
holding his prized samurai swords was dusty, so my husband left our cleaning lady a note, reading, “Check out my swords.”
    That evening, he found the stand just as dirty as 
before but with this appended to 
his note:
    “Nice swords.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
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