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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 570
    February 22nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of Scouting and Guiding founder Robert Baden-Powell and Olave Baden-Powell, and its related observance: Founder's Day or "B.-P. day" (World Organization of the Scout Movement) World Thinking Day (World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts) Christian feast day: Baradates Eric Liddell (Episcopal Church (USA)) Feast of the Chair of Saint Peter (Roman Catholic Church) Margaret of Cortona February 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Crime Victims Day (Europe) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Saint Lucia from the United Kingdom in 1979. Founding Day (Saudi Arabia) Washington's Birthday, federal holiday in the United States. A holiday on February 22 as well as the third Monday in February. National Cat Day (Japan)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Ash Wednesday
    National Margarita Day
    National Walking the Dog Day
    2Twenty2 Day
    Be Humble Day
    Day of Fraternity and CohesionCook a Sweet Potato Day
    Inconvenience Yourself Day
    National California Day
    National Heart Valve Disease Awareness Day
    Pink Shirt Day in Canada
    Play More Cards Day
    Recreational Sports & Fitness Day
    Supermarket Employee Day
    Tex Avery Day
    Woolworth's Day
    World Yoga Day
     
    Robert Kardashian’s Birthday
    Matt FamilyFunPack’s Birthday
    Drew Barrymore’s Birthday
    James Blunt’s Birthday
    Baby Kaely’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Single Tasking Day
    You may have been praised for your multitasking skills, but have you ever tried single tasking i.e. doing only one thing at a time? Try it on February 22, Single Tasking Day.

    The made-up holiday clearly wants to encourage people to devote all their time and energy on accomplishing one task at a time. Some people also celebrate it on February 19.
    Multitasking Lowers Productivity
    Recent studies have shown that multitasking - the ability to focus on more than one task at any given time, can be less effective and productive than previously thought. Multitasking can also decrease the accuracy of certain tasks. This is because when one shifts from one task to another, the brain needs time to change focus. This can lead to a waste of time and can cause a lot of stress. Time management can also become an issue for multitaskers.
    Increase Accuracy and Productivity
    Productivity experts suggest that the best way to accomplish something well is to direct all of one's energy and time on the task. Single tasking increases engagement and helps reduce errors. By improving productivity and accuracy, single tasking can help reduce stress and other health problems that are stress-related.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make a list of all the tasks you want to accomplish and go down the list one at a time. Cut off all distractions. Switch off your phone, block the Internet, close your office door, and get started on your list. It may be hard now, but when you are done, you will be proud of yourself! Did You Know…
    …that according to research only about 2% of people can effectively multitask? The rest tend to be less productive when they multitask.
       
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    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk out.

    Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't you come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door.
    When the security people returned, the women reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman.
     
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    My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One weekend he cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the crying and whining built to a crescendo. At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, "Honey, it's a law. If you don't go to school, they'll put Mommy in jail."

    He looked at me, thought a moment, then asked, "How long would you have to stay?"
     
    ***
     
    I was on duty as an emergency-room technician when a father brought in his son, who had poked a tire from one of his toy trucks up his nose. The man was embarrassed, but I assured him this was something kids often do. I quickly removed the tire and they were on their way. A few minutes later, the father was back in the ER asking to talk to me in private.

    Mystified, I led him to an examining room. "While we were on our way home," he began, "I was looking at that little tire and wondering, how on earth did my son get this thing stuck up his nose and…"

    It took just a few seconds to get the tire out of Dad's nose.
     
    ***
     
    While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. Since it was a formal affair at a country club, I went in my officer’s dress blue uniform.
    Once at the club, I drove up to the entrance, where the doorman promptly came to the passenger door and assisted my wife out of the car.
    He then made his way to my side. But before I could get out, he pointed to the other end of the building and said,
    “The band entrance is that way.”
     
     
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    Swansea Uni study: African wild dogs 'sneeze to vote' - BBC News
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 569
    February 21st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (South Africa) Birthday of King Harald V (Norway) Christian feast day: Felix of Hadrumetum Pepin of Landen Peter Damian Randoald of Grandval February 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Father Lini Day (Vanuatu) Language Movement Day (Bangladesh) International Mother Language Day (UNESCO) The first day of the Birth Anniversary of Fifth Druk Gyalpo, celebrated until February 23. (Bhutan) The first day of the Musikahan Festival, celebrated until February 27. (Tagum City, Philippines) Feralia (Ancient Rome)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    National Pancake Day
    National Sticky Bun Day
    Brazilian Carninval
    Card Reading Day
    Earth God's Birthday
    Ecuador Carnival
    Fasnacht Day
    Mardi Gras
    National Grain Free Day
    Tsagaan Sar
    Robert Gabriel Mugabe National Youth Day
    Zhonge Festival
     
    Sophie Turner’s Birthday
    Wendy’s Birthday
    Nina Simone’s Birthday
    Solar’s Birthday
    Jordan Peele’s Birthday
    John Lewis’s Birthday
    Giveon’s Birthday
    Blanket Jackson’s Birthday
    Alan Rickman’s Birthday
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Which windshield wiper blade always quits first? That's right—the driver's side. This happened to me one day while driving home in the middle of a blinding storm. Unable to see, I pulled over and tried to figure out a quick fix. I found it in a yellow cotton work glove that was lying on the floor. I wedged the cloth hand under the wiper arm. It did a great job keeping my windshield clear. Not only that— you'd be surprised at how many people waved back.
     
    ***
     
    Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing at the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture a number. "Looks like 9 1⁄2 pounds," he offered confidently.

    "This must not be your first," I said.

    "Oh, yes, it's my first."

    "Then how would you know the weight of a baby?"

    He shrugged. "I'm a fisherman."
     
    ***
     
    We purchased an old home in northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching, and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.
    My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a brief conversation, he hung up.
    "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."
     
    ***
     
    Our company gives out Thanksgiving turkeys to retired employees. All they have to do is stop by the plant to pick them up.
    A few days before the holiday, a retiree called to ask, “What time do the turkeys get in?”
    The receptionist, without thinking, responded, “Everyone starts at eight.”
     
     
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    A brief history of the Molotov cocktail
     
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    How a British Officer Disabled A German Armored Vehicle With An Umbrella in the Heat of Battle
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 568
    February 20th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Eleutherius of Tournai Eucherius of Orléans Francisco Marto and Jacinta Marto Frederick Douglass (Episcopal Church (USA)) Wulfric of Haselbury February 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Heavenly Hundred Heroes (Ukraine) World Day of Social Justice  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Argentina Carnival
    Carnival Monday
    Clean Out Your Bookcase Day
    Daisy Gatson Bates Day
    Family Day
    Hoodie Hoo Day
    Islander Day
    Louis Riel Day
    Mizoram State Day
    National Cherry Pie Day
    National Comfy Day
    National Day of Solidarity with Muslim Arab and South Asian Immigrants
    National Handcuff Day
    National Leadership Day
    National Muffin Day
    National Student Volunteer Day
    National Whistleblower Reward Day
    No Politics Day
    Nova Scotia Heritage Day
    Presidents' Day
    Shrove Monday
    Statehood Day in Arunachal Pradesh
    The Day of Illustrious Puerto Ricans
    Uruguay Carnival
    Venezuela Carnival
    Women in Blue Jeans Days
    National Love Your Pet Day
     
    Olivia Rodrigo’s Birthday
    Trevor Noah’s Birthday
    Kurt Cobain’s Birthday
    Elmo O'Dwyer’s Birthda
    Cindy Crawford’s Birthday
    Charles Barkley’s Birthday
    Rihanna’s Birthday
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Feb 20th, 2023 - Sun Feb 26th, 2023
    National Invasive Species Awareness Week
     
     
    ***
     
     
    At the busy dental office where I work, one patient was always late. Once when I called to confirm an appointment, he said, "I'll be about 15 minutes late. That won't be a problem, will it?"
    "No," I told him. "We just won't have time to give you an anesthetic."
    He arrived early.  
     
    ***
     
    As a promotional gimmick for my restaurant, I send out coupons offering people a free dinner on their birthdays. One day an anxious-sounding man called. "I got your card. How did you find me?"

    "From a mailing list I purchased from a supplier," I told him. "Why?"

    "It used my real name, and I'm in the Witness Protection Program. What's the name of the company?"

    I didn't want to say it, but I had to tell him the truth: Moving Targets.
     
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    My musical director wasn't happy with the performance of one of our percussionists. Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed. Finally, in front of the orchestra, the director said in frustration, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument, they take it away, give him two sticks and make him a drummer!"

    A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."    
    ***
     
    It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first shot.
    “Good news and bad news,” my instructor said.
    “The good news: You got a bull’s eye.”
    Before my head could swell too much, he added,
    “But it was in somebody else’s target.”
     
     
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    Egyptian authorities detained a stork last week on suspicion of espionage, mistaking its migration tag for spying equipment. In fact the stork was innocent - like a number of other animals falsely accused over the years of undercover work, writes Mohamed Madi.
    In 2011, Saudi authorities arrested a high-flying vulture on suspicion that it was flying missions for Israel's famously ingenious Mossad agency. And a spate of shark attacks near the Red Sea resort of Sharm el-Sheikh in 2010 was blamed by one TV station on GPS-controlled predators planted by Israel in order to harm the Egyptian tourism industry.
    Iran has also felt threatened by animal agents. In 2007 the Iranian army arrested a team of 14 "spy squirrels" found near a nuclear enrichment plant. Officials said they succeeded in apprehending the suspects "before they were able to take any action".
     
    However, not all reports of pets on patrol are as far-fetched as they seem. Animals have been serving in the military as early as 1908, when Germans first attached cameras to pigeons to take aerial photographs.
    Some programmes have been more successful than others. The CIA's attempt to implant listening devices into a cat - dubbed Operation Acoustic Kitty - ended in failure on day one, when the kitty was run over by a car outside the Soviet embassy in Washington DC. The project was estimated to have cost more than $14m.
    Another failed project was the equally outlandish Bat Bomb, tried by the US in WWII, where bats were strapped to mini-incendiary devices and dropped over Japan. The idea was for them to roost inside wooden Japanese buildings before bursting into flames. The atomic bomb ultimately proved more effective.
    Perhaps the most successful recruits from the animal world have been dolphins. The US and Russia have confirmed the existence of marine mammal training programmes, where dolphins and seals are trained to identify underwater mines and disable enemy swimmers. But just like young soldiers, dolphins have hormones, and can go awol. In March this year Ukraine's Defence Ministry had to deny reports that three military dolphins had escaped and were roaming the Black Sea in search of sex.
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 567
    February 19th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Mexico) Brâncuși Day (Romania) Christian feast day: Barbatus of Benevento Boniface of Brussels Conrad of Piacenza Lucy Yi Zhenmei (one of Martyrs of Guizhou) February 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration of Vasil Levski (Bulgaria) Flag Day (Turkmenistan) Shivaji Jayanti (Maharashtra, India)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    International Tug of War Day
    Daytona Pole Day
    Fastelavn
    Iwo Jima Day
    National Airboat Day
    National Arabian Horse Day
    National Lash Day
    National Vet Girls ROCK Day
    NBA All Star Game
    Orthodox Meatfare Sunday
    Prevent Plagiarism Day
    U.S. Coast Guard Reserve Birthday
    World Whale Day
     
    Smokey Robinson’s Birthday
    Millie Bobby Brown’s Birthday
    Royalty Johnson’s Birthday
    Cynthia Bailey’s Birthday
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun Feb 19th, 2023 - Sat Feb 25th, 2023 National Engineers Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Chocolate Mint Day
    Chocolate Mint Day on February 19 is devoted to the classic combination of chocolate and mint

    Chocolate goes well with almost everything, but there is one chocolate pairing that is classic – chocolate and mint. So, it is only fair that the United States National Confectioners Association has declared February 19 to be Chocolate Mint Day in honor of this hugely popular flavor pairing.
    Chocolate Every Day
    Chocolate is a very popular theme for a fun holiday. Other chocolate flavored holidays are Chocolate Pudding Day, Milk Chocolate Day, Chocolate Pecan Pie Day, Chocolate Milkshake Day, Chocolate Cupcake Day, Chocolate Covered Anything Day, and Chocolate Cake Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Introduce chocolate and mint pairings in each of your meals. Have a chocolate mint latte for your morning cup of coffee, or add chocolate chips and some mint to your cereal. Replace your main course with a big slice (or two) of chocolate mint cake, and follow it with chocolate mint ice cream. Did You Know…
    …that there is an herb called mint chocolate whose leaves taste like chocolate mint?
     
     
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    While walking through a Dallas airport, my dentist ran into a group of folks from his hometown. Among them was one of his patients. When he said hello, she gave him a curious look, saying he looked familiar but she could not quite place him.

    "Lean back and look up at me," he suggested.
    She did. "Oh! Dr. Harrison!"
     
    ***
     
    My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped from his cage and flown out an open window. Of all the dangers the tame bird would face outdoors alone, she seemed most concerned about what would happen if the bird started talking. Confused, my father asked what the parrot could say.
    “Well,” she explained, “he mostly says, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ ”
     
    ***
     
    Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband demurred, saying two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things, saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

    Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one like it's your own!"
     
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    Concerned that he might have put on a few pounds, my husband exited the bathroom and asked, “Do you think my chin is getting fat?”
    I smiled lovingly and replied, “Which one?”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 566
    February 18th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Bernadette Soubirous (France) Colmán of Lindisfarne Flavian of Constantinople Geltrude Comensoli Simeon of Jerusalem (Western Christianity) February 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Dialect Day (Amami Islands, Japan) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of the Gambia from the United Kingdom in 1965 Kurdish Students Union Day (Iraqi Kurdistan) National Democracy Day, celebrates the 1951 overthrow of the Rana dynasty (Nepal) Wife's Day (Konudagur) (Iceland)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    National Drink Wine Day
     
     
    Cow Milked While Flying in an Airplane Day
    Great Backyard Bird Count
    Isra and Mi'raj
    Maha Shivaratri
    National Crab Stuffed Flounder Day
    Pluto Day
    Thumb Appreciation Day
    World Pangolin Day
    National Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day
     
    Yoko Ono’s Birthday
    Vanna White’s Birthday
    John Travolta’s Birthday
    Chwe Vernon Hansol’s Birthday
    Dr. Dre’s Birthday
    Damien Prince’s Birthday
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sat Feb 18th, 2023 - Sun Feb 26th, 2023
    Real Bread Week
     
     
    Fun Observances
    Battery Day
    February 18 is Battery Day. It is a day to acknowledge the device that makes it possible for the smallest household items to the largest heavy-duty equipment to work smoothly.

    The unofficial holiday of unknown origins is also known as National Battery Day in the United States
    Converts Energy
    A battery is a device that converts chemical energy to electrical energy. It is thought that the term battery to describe such a device was first used by Benjamin Franklin because the setting of the capacitator he saw reminded him of a battery of cannons.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the day by swapping out old the old, dead batteries from your household items. Take all the old batteries to the recycling center. Check your smoke alarm and fire alarm batteries and replace them if needed. Learn the history and science behind batteries. Did You Know…
    …that according to some archeologists and historians, the earliest known battery in recorded human history can be traced back to as far as 2000 years ago? Known as the Baghdad Battery, the battery is a clay pot containing a metal tube and a metal rod. It is thought to have been discovered in the basement of the Baghdad Museum by German painter and archaeologist Wilhelm Konig, who suggested that the artifact was probably used as a battery.
     
     
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    Exchange your shivers for some giggles as we celebrate the spring season with some of our silliest reader submissions: Stop and Smell the Softener I had spent the late winter months waiting impatiently for signs of spring. When the first warm, sunny Saturday arrived, I eagerly unlocked the storm door and stepped onto our patio deck. I was pleased by the sight of green sprouts and the sounds of singing birds. More than anything else, I delighted in the sweet aroma of the spring air. Knocking on the kitchen window, I beckoned to my wife to join me in enjoying the pleasures of the season. She quietly brought me back to earth when she reminded me that I was standing over the dryer vent, inhaling the scent of fabric softener. Your Sunday Best Our daughter, an ROTC cadet, was ordered to Fort Indiantown Gap in Pennsylvania for field exercises. Since it was the Easter season, she requested permission to attend church services on Palm Sunday. The troops were in the field at the time, so the commanding officer agreed only if there happened to be a church in the vicinity of their maneuvers. When a small country church was seen along the road, our daughter entered quietly, hoping to be unnoticed in spite of her leaf-and-branch camouflage. But all eyes turned upon her as a small child cried in amazement, "Look, somebody came as a palm!" Spring Fever One spring day I was taking the roll in my secretarial class at our local technical college. One of the sun worshipers was absent. "Cindy won't be here this afternoon?" I asked. "She went home to lay in the sun," a young woman in the front row answered. Trying to correct her grammar without embarrassing her before the class, I whispered, "Lie." Okay," she replied in astonishment. "Cindy got sick and went home." Standby, Soldier Every Easter our church stages an elaborate pageant. Last year the man who played Pontius Pilate had to work on the night of the dress rehearsal, and a chorus member substituted for him. As we began rehearsing Pilate's solo, the conductor stopped the orchestra. "Pilate, I don't hear you," he called out. "You're not loud enough." "Pilate is at work," a voice on the stage shouted back. "We've got our co-Pilate tonight." Signs of Spring In Ohio, spring is always eagerly awaited after the long, cold winters. When I arrived at work one day in mid-March, I noticed a sign gaily decorated with flowers and butterflies. It read: "Think Spring." The first day of spring blew in with a snowstorm and freezing temperatures, however, and another flowery sign was posted. This time the message read: "Forget Spring. Think Summer." Sleepless Saving Time Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. "Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?" I asked. "Oh, no," she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock."  
    ***
     
    I admit it—I have a tendency to exaggerate, and I was afraid when I joined the Navy that my “creativity” might get me in trouble. But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height. Now, I was shy of six feet tall, but when our drill sergeant called for all six-footers to line up, I stepped forward anyway. I instantly knew I was in the right outfit when I looked around. I was the tallest guy in line.
     
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    Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear. But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge.
    “I’m terribly sorry,” said the waiter.
    “So you should be,” replied Fred. “Thanks to you, I’ve pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails.”
     
    ***
     
    When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was.
    “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll send your costume tomorrow,” the representative said.
    “In the meantime, feel free to keep the Lady Godiva costume you got by mistake.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 565
    February 17th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Seven Founders of the Servite Order Alexis Falconieri Constabilis Donatus, Romulus, Secundian, and Companions Fintan of Clonenagh Janani Luwum (Anglican Communion) Lommán of Trim February 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, celebrates the independence declaration of Kosovo in 2008, still partially recognized. Revolution Day (Libya)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Analog to Digital TV Day
    Brazil Carnival
    Champion Crab Races Day
    February 17th Revolution
    My Way Day
    National Cabbage Day
    National Cafe au Lait Day
    National Caregivers Day
    National Public Science Day
    National Tennis Pro Day
    No One Eats Alone Day
    Who Shall I Be Day
    World Human Spirit Day
     
    Paris Hilton’s Birthday
    Rene Russo’s Birthday
    Michael Jordan’s Birthday
    David Goggins’s Birthday
    Bonnie Wright’s Birthday
    Billie Joe Armstrong’s Birthday
    Alex Vargas’s Birthday
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Fri Feb 17th, 2023 - Mon Wed 22nd, 2023
    Carnival of Brazil
     
    Fun Observances
    Random Act of Kindness Day
    February 17, is a day to practice kindness and pay it forward.

    The unofficial holiday is also known as National Random Act of Kindness Day in the United States.
    One-Sided Concern
    Considered to be a core value of most religions and cultures, kindness is the act of showing concern for others, loved ones and strangers, without any expectations of any consideration in return.
    Spreads Happiness and Health
    Studies have shown that being compassionate not only helps other people, but also makes one happy and healthier. People who are kind are thought to have lower risk for heart and blood pressure-related diseases.
    September 1 in New Zealand
    In New Zealand, Random Act of Kindness Day or RAK has been celebrated on September 1 since 2004.
    Other kindness related holidays one can celebrate during the year include Be Kind to Lawyers Day and World Kindness Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Every day should be a day to be kind, but here are some easy ways to spread kindness around on this day.
    Smile at a stranger at your bus stop. Say "thank you" to your bus driver for driving you safely. Compliment a friend. Buy your co-worker their favorite snack. Help your neighbor mow their lawn. Pay for the groceries of the person behind you in the checkout line. Did You Know…
    …that randomness is a mathematical concept? In statistics and probability, a random event means that it cannot be predicted.
     
     
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    I worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs and cats while on vacation. One morning I had taken a cat out of his cage, and after playing with him and replenishing his food and water, I put him back in. A few minutes later, I was surprised to see the feline at my feet, since the cage doors lock automatically when they’re shut.
    I couldn’t figure out how the cat escaped, until I bent down to pick him up and spied his nametag: “Houdini.”
     
    ***
     
    Living in a household with eight indoor cats requires buying large amounts of kitty litter, which I usually get in 25-pound bags—100 pounds at a time. When I was going to be out of town for a week, I decided to go to the supermarket to stock up.
    As my husband and I both pushed shopping carts, each loaded with five large bags of litter, a man looked at our purchases and queried, “Bengal or Siberian?”
     
    ***
     
    One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter’s indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department.
    “We don’t do that anymore,” the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. “The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough.”
    “How do you know that?” I asked.
    “Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?” she said.
    Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.
     
    ***
     
    My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions:
    “Do you know where you are?”
    “I’m at Rex Hospital.”
    “What city are you in?”
    “Raleigh.”
    “Do you know who I am?”
    “Dr. Hamilton.”
    My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.”
    “Why?” she asked.
    “Because all of those answers were on his badge.”
     
     
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    February 16th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abda of Edessa Elias and companions Juliana of Nicomedia (Catholic Church) Onesimus Charles Todd Quintard (Episcopal Church (USA)) February 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Shining Star (Kim Jong-il's Birthday) (North Korea) Restoration of Lithuania's Statehood Day, celebrate the independence of Lithuania from Russia and Germany in 1918 (Lithuania) Elizabeth Peratrovich Day (Alaska)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    National Almond Day
    Archbishop Janani Luwum Day
    Fat Thursday
    Feast of Saint Vartan
    Innovation Day
    Kyoto Protocol Day
    Paczki Day
    Tim Tam Day
    World Anthropology Day
    World Cholangiocarcinoma Day
    Introduce A Girl To Engineering Day
     
    The Weeknd’s Birthday
    Lupe Fiasco’s Birthday
    Ice T’s Birthday
    Elizabeth Olsen’s Birthday
    Brittney Atwood’s Birthday
    Ava Max’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Do a Grouch a Favor Day
    On February 16 or Do a Grouch a Favor Day, make someone’s day by doing something nice for them and getting them out of their funk.

    How to Celebrate?
    If you see someone who is grumpy, do something nice for them. Something as simple as a cheerful greeting and a smile can make someone’s day. If you know of someone who is having a hard time, make their day by taking them out for lunch or treat them to their favorite dessert. Be cheerful, remember happiness is contagious and your cheer may just rub off. Did You Know…
    …that Sesame Street, a children's TV show, has a number of characters called grouches? Grouches are always grouchy and unhappy, and usually live where there is trash.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
    I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
    ***
    The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?”
    A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.” The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”
    ***
    Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
    ***
    Did you hear the news about that Chinese restaurant that got vandalized? It was an act of wonton destruction.
    ***
    “What’s wrong, Bubba?” asked the pastor.
    “I need you to pray for my hearing,” said Bubba.
    The pastor put his hands on 
Bubba’s ears and prayed. When he was done, he asked, “So how’s your hearing?”
    “I don’t know,” said Bubba. “It isn’t until next Tuesday.”
     
    ***
     
    Anyone wanting to take pictures on our base’s airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. One day, while out snapping photos, I was stopped by the military police, who asked for my letter from public affairs.
    “But I am public affairs,” I said.
    “Without a letter from public affairs, we’ll have to take your camera.”
    I did the only thing I could do: I pulled a notepad and pen from my bag and wrote a letter giving myself permission to take photos.
    The MPs read the letter, saluted, and left.
     
     
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    Frank "Rocky" Fiegel | Popeye the Sailorpedia | Fandom
     
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    Ancient Egyptian Pregnancy Test Survived Millennia Because It Worked | HowStuffWorks
     
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    February 15th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Michał Sopoćko Claude de la Colombière Faustinus and Jovita Oswiu Quinidius Sigfrid of Sweden Thomas Bray (Episcopal Church) Walfrid February 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Family Day can fall, while February 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in February. (parts of Canada) Earliest day on which Washington's Birthday can fall, while February 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in February. (United States) International Duties Memorial Day (Russia, regional) John Frum Day (Vanuatu) Liberation Day (Afghanistan) National Flag of Canada Day (Canada) Parinirvana Day, also celebrated on February 8. (Mahayana Buddhism) Singles Awareness Day Statehood Day (Serbia) Susan B. Anthony Day (Florida, United States) The ENIAC Day (Philadelphia, United States) Total Defence Day (Singapore)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Annoy Squidward Day
    Canada's Agriculture Day
    Day of Ashakalia
    International Angelman Day
    International Childhood Cancer Day
    Lantern Festival
    Love Reset Day
    Lui-Ngai-Ni
    National Black Girl Magic Day
    National I Want Butterscotch Day
    National Marcus Day
    National Wisconsin Day
    Remember the Maine Day
    Single Awareness Day
    St. Skeletor's Day
    World Hippo Day
     
    Megan Thee Stallion’s Birthday
    Susan B. Anthony’s Birthday
    Jane Seymour’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Gumdrop Day
    February 15 is Gumdrop Day. Celebrate this day by treating yourself to a bowlful of the colorful, chewy, and delicious candy.

    This unofficial and fun holiday is also called National Gumdrop Day in the United States.
    Bright Colored Candy
    Gumdrops are brightly colored candy or sweets made of pectin or gelatin. The cone-shaped treats are typically covered in sugar and are usually fruit flavored.
    Gumdrops that are flavored with artificial spices like cinnamon and mint are called spice drops.
    Decoration for Cakes
    Generally cone shaped, gumdrops are often used to decorate cakes and gingerbread houses during Christmas time.
    Similar sweet tooth holidays are Gummi Worm Day and Candy Corn Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    It’s easy to celebrate this day. Just get a bag full of delicious gumdrops and enjoy them to your heart's content. Try and make gumdrops in your own kitchen. Share them with your family and friends. Did You Know…
    …that the world gelatin comes from Latin gelat, which means to freeze?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My young son declared, “When 
I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mommy.”
    “You can’t marry your own mother,” said his older sister.
    “Then I’ll marry you.” “You can’t marry me either.”
    He looked confused, so I explained, “You can’t marry someone in your own family.”
    “You mean I have to marry a total stranger?!” he cried.
     
    ***
     
    We had just finished tucking our five kids into bed when three-year-old Billy began to wail. Turns out, he had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die.
    Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he had in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy’s ear.
    Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husband’s hand, swallowed it, and demanded, “Do it again!”
     
    ***
     
    My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone's well-intentioned advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips, she was impressed.
    "I have to hand it to Pat," she told me.
    "She really is smart. Not Jeopardy! smart; more Wheel of Fortune smart."
     
    ***
     
    As A.J. and his platoon of recruits were marching, their sergeant slipped and tumbled down a ravine.
    The irate sergeant scrambled back up amid guffaws and barked, “Those who laughed, get down and give me 20!”
    A.J. and some others fell to the ground quickly and did their push-ups.
    Meanwhile, the sergeant glared at the others.
    “As for the rest of you, get down and give me 40 for lying!”
     
     
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    February 14th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Cyril and Methodius, patron saints of Europe (Roman Catholic Church) Manchan Valentine (see also Valentine's Day) February 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Statehood Day (Arizona, United States) Statehood Day (Oregon, United States) Presentation of Jesus at the Temple (Armenian Apostolic Church) Parents' Worship Day (parts of India)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD or week for details)
    Safer Internet Day
    Valentine's Day
    Extraterrestrial Culture Day
    Frederick Douglass Day
    Gold Heart Day
    International Book Giving Day
    International Quirkyalone Day
    League of Women Voters Day
    Lui-Ngai-Ni
    Madly In Love With Me Day
    National Black Literacy Day
    National Boone Day
    National Call in Single Day
    National Chance Day
    National Christine Day
    National Condom Awareness Day
    National Cream-Filled Chocolates Day
    National Donor Day
    Organ Donor Day
    National Football Hangover Day
    National Have a Heart Day
    National Impotence Day
    National Pet Theft Awareness Day
    Pet Theft Awareness Day
    National Sports Day Qatar
    Rafik Hariri Memorial Day
    Read to Your Child Day - 1
    Read to Your Child Day - 2
    Travel Africa Day
    World Bonobo Day
    World Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day
    World Sound Healing Day
     
    Tati Westbrook’s Birthday
    Karol G’s Birthday
    Koharu Sugawara’s Birthday
    Companiondish’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Feb 14th, 2022 - Mon Feb 21th, 2022
    National Nest Box Week
    National Condom Week
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Ferris Wheel Day
    February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day, a day to honor the life and time of Ferris wheel inventor George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr.

    Now a mainstay of theme parks and fairs, the Ferris wheel debuted at the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago, United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Visit your closest theme park and spend time riding the Ferris wheel. Since it is also Valentine’s Day, why not take your loved one with you on a Ferris wheel? Learn more about the science and technology behind Ferris wheels. Did You Know…
    …that the world’s largest Ferris wheel is 167.6 m or 550 feet tall? The High Roller, as it is called, can be found in Las Vegas.
    ~~~~~~~
    Library Lovers Day
    February 14 is not only Valentine’s Day, it's also Library Lover’s Day. It is a day to honor libraries, librarians, bookworms, and library lovers in your life.

    How to Celebrate?
    Show your appreciation for your library and your librarian by volunteering your time helping out at the library or by donating money to your local library to add to their collections. Visit your local library and check out books or films. If you know someone – a friend or a family member – who does not have a library membership, now is the chance for you to encourage them to get one. Did You Know…
    …that the Library of Congress in Washington DC, United States, is the largest library in the world?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My dad used to sing little ditties. This was my favorite:
    There was a young lady named Mabel. She danced on the dining room table. Her face grew red, When the gentleman said ...
    “Look at the legs on that table!”
     
    ***
     
    Here's my favorite dad joke, with me as the dad:
    Every Sunday on the way to church, we would have to stop at a railroad crossing. And each time, I’d tell my 12-year-old daughter, “A train just went by. Know how I can tell? It left its tracks.” I got a moan the first couple of Sundays.
    After a while, every time we’d pull up to the crossing, all I had to do was look in the rearview mirror and she would smile.
    My daughter is now a college graduate and lives out of state, but every time I cross those tracks, I think of her.
     
    ***
     
    My dad was not a jokester, but his fun side did come out once in a while. When I was 12, he took me to a Chicago White Sox game with a group from a local tavern. The game between the Sox and the Indians was in the ninth inning, with the Sox ahead by a run.
    I was having so much fun, I said, “I hope the Indians tie the game in the ninth.” The die-hard Sox fans we were with were horrified, but not Dad.
    He started cheering for the Indians to score, even as the men yelled, “Cut it out; you’re a Sox fan!” The Sox ended up winning, everyone was happy, and my dad and I laughed all the way home.
    I miss him tremendously.
     
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    February 13th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (Myanmar) Christian feast day: Absalom Jones (Episcopal Church (USA)) Beatrice of Ornacieux Castor of Karden Catherine of Ricci Dyfnog Ermenilda of Ely Fulcran Jordan of Saxony Polyeuctus (Roman Catholic Church) February 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) World Radio Day  
    Observances (click on the Day, BD or Week for details)
    Galentine's Day
    Black Love Day
    Desperation Day
    Dream Your Sweet Day-1
    Dream Your Sweet Day-2
    Employee Legal Awareness Day
    Get a Different Name Day
    International Condom Day
    International Epilepsy Day
    International Natural Day
    Kiss Day-1
    Kiss Day-2
    National Apology Day
    National Break Up With Your Carrier Day
    National Cheddar Day
    National Crab Rangoon Day
    National Derrick Day
    National Internet Friends Day
    National Jamie Day
    National Poop Day
    National Tortellini Day
    National Wingman Day
    Oatmeal Monday
    Oatmeal Monday (Meal Monday)
    Self-Love Day
    National Football Hangover Day
     
    Sockie Norris’s Birthday
    Jess Hilarious’s Birthday
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
      Sun Feb 13th, 2022 - Fri Feb 17th, 2022 Take Your Family to School Week
     
    Sun Feb 13th, 2022 - Sun Feb 19st, 2022
    National Secondhand Wardrobe Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Clean Out Your Computer Day
    Have you been putting off cleaning out those old files on your desktop? Well, today is the day you should do it, because it is Clean Out Your Computer Day.

    Started in 2000 by the Institute of Business Technology, the day falls on the second Monday in February.
    A similar holiday called National Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day is celebrated in October.
    How to Celebrate
    Backup your computer, including all your files, documents, and pictures. Clean out your desktop. Delete or archive files that you have no use of or haven’t used in several months. Organize your folders, files and bookmarks. Uninstall all the programs you no longer used. Did You Know…
    …that the Perottina was the world’s first commercially marketed desktop? Launched in 1964, the computer was named after its inventor Pier Giorgio Perotto.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me. Just as I was about to dig in, he picked up an oyster, examined it, and commented,
    “They remind me of infected tonsils.”And that’s the story of how he ended up eating the entire plate of oysters himself.
     
    ***
     
    My six-year-old loved his pet fish. He watched and fed it faithfully, morning and night. But one day while he was in school, his fish died, so I flushed it down the toilet. I told him when he got home, and he was inconsolable. Nothing I said helped.
    After a while, I asked, “Why are you crying so much?”
    Arching his back, he shouted, “I wanted to flush!”
     
    ***
     
    Two regulars are sitting at a bar when one of them casually points to a couple of drunks across from them.
    “That’s us in ten years,” he says.
    His friend takes a sip from his beer, sets it down on the bar, turns to his friend, and slurs, “That’s a mirror.”
     
    ***
     
    I was working from home, interviewing a famous neurologist for an article, when my three-year-old announced she had to go potty and waddled into the bathroom.
    After some loud moans, she yelled, “I did it, Mom! I pooped in the toilet! I pooped on the floor too! But I’ll clean it! Oh, I stepped in it!”
    There was an uncomfortable silence as I realized the doctor had heard every word. “Ha ha,” I laughed nervously. “Do you have kids?”
    “No,” he said, “and I never will.”
     
     
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    February 12th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Benedict of Aniane Damian of Alexandria Julian the Hospitaller Martyrs of Abitinae February 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Georgia Day (Georgia (U.S. state)) Lincoln's Birthday (United States) Red Hand Day (United Nations) Union Day (Myanmar) Youth Day (Venezuela)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Super Bowl Sunday
    Autism Sunday
    Hug Day
    International Day Against the Use of Child Soldiers
    Man Day
    Mother's Day Norway
    NAACP Day
    National Brayden Day
    National Freedom to Marry Day
    National Homegating Day
    National Lost Penny Day
    National Plum Pudding Day
    Oglethorpe Day
    Pork Rind Appreciation Day
    Safety Pup Day
    Super Chicken Wing Day
    World Marriage Day
     
    Yungeen Ace’s Birthday
    Charles Darwin’s Birthday
    Gucci Mane’s Birthday
    Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Feb 12th, 2023 - Sat Feb 18th, 2023 International Flirting Week
    National Jell-O Week
    Children of Alcoholics Awareness Week
    Great American Pizza Bake
    National Cardiac Rehabilitation Week
    National Kraut and Frankfurter Week
    Freelance Writers Appreciation Week
     
    Sun Feb 12th, 2023 - Sun Feb 19th, 2023
    Random Acts of Kindness Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Darwin Day
    Darwin Day is held annually on or around February 12, the birthday of Charles Darwin.

    The unofficial holiday honors the life and work of English naturalist Charles Darwin. Also known as International Darwin Day, the day is a celebration of science and humanity.
    Theory of Evolution
    Born in 1809, Charles Darwin revolutionized the field of natural history by putting forth the theory of evolution by natural selection. In his book On the Origins of Species published in 1859, he argued that all present-day life forms on Earth came from a single ancestor and that diversity in the animal and plant kingdom came about due to natural selection, migration, extinction, and genetic mutations.
    Celebrated Worldwide
    While initially contested, Darwin's theory of evolution is now widely accepted as fact and theory in the scientific community.
    Darwin Day has been celebrated off and on since his death in 1882. In 2000, three Darwin fans, Dr. Robert Stephens, Prof. Massimo Pigliucci, and Amanda Chesworth created the Darwin Day Program. The program was later named the Darwin Day Celebration, a non-profit organization committed to science education. Today Darwin Day celebrations are held all around the world.
    How to Celebrate?
    Get a crash course on evolution and natural selection. Read Charles Darwin's book The Origin of Species. Visit your local natural history museum and spend the day among dinosaur bones. Did You Know…
    …that the full title of Darwin’s seminal book is: On the Origin of Species by means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Ed: I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.
    Fred: How bad is it?
    Ed: Not only is it awful, it’s awful.
    ***
    Q: What weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
    A: The water. Butane is lighter fluid.
    ***
    I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.
    Clothes, but no cigar.
    ***
    Q: If you're an American in the kitchen, what are you when you're in the bathroom?
    A: European!
    ***
    The new draftee refused to march with his squad. Instead, he rode his invisible motorcycle beside them while making motorcycle noises. After a few weeks of this and several psychiatric exams, he was given a discharge. He rode his Hog to the main gate, propped it up on its invisible stand and walked out.
    "Hey," called the gate guard. "You forgot your bike."
    "No," replied the draftee, "I'm leaving it for the next guy who wants to get out."
     
    ***
     
    As my wife and I prepared for our garage sale, I came across a painting. Looking at the back, I discovered that I had written “To my beautiful wife on our fifth anniversary. I love you … Keith.”
    Feeling nostalgic about a gift I’d given her 25 years earlier, I showed it to her, thinking we should rehang the picture.
    After gazing at my message for a few seconds, she replied,
    “You know, I think a black marker would cover over all that so that we could sell it.”
     
     
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    " I'll be calling Ewe "
     
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    February 11th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blaise Eastern Orthodox liturgics Cædmon, first recorded Christian poet in England, circa 680 CE (Anglicanism) Gobnait Gregory II Lazarus of Milan European 112 Day (European Union) Armed Forces Day (Liberia) Evelio Javier Day (Panay Island, the Philippines) Feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes (Catholic Church), and its related observance World Day of the Sick (Roman Catholic Church) Inventors' Day (United States) National Foundation Day (Japan) Youth Day (Cameroon) International Day of Women and Girls in Science (UN Women)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Guitar Day
    Get Out Your Guitar Day
    Be Electrific Day
    Global Movie Day
    Grandmother Achievement Day
    Islamic Revolution Day
    National Ava Day
    National Emergency Number Day
    National Latte Day
    National Marc Day
    National Peppermint Patty Day
    National Shut-in Visitation Day
    National Van Day
    Pro Sports Wives Day
    Promise Day
    Royal Hobart Regatta
    Satisfied Staying Single Day
    White T Shirt Day
    World Day of the Sick
     
    Yung Miami’s Birthday
    Taylor Lautner’s Birthday
    Thomas Edison’s Birthday
    Roseanne Park’s Birthday
    Sarah Palin’s Birthday
    Mehgan James’s Birthday
    Jennifer Aniston’s Birthday
    Cody Herbinko’s Birthday
    Burt Reynolds’s Birthday
    Brandy’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Make a Friend Day
    Make a Friend Day on February 11 is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to stop and take stock of their friend list and make new friends.

    Humans are social animals and we need friends to feel fulfilled and happy. But sometimes in the daily rush of our lives not only do we tend to ignore our old friends, but we also forget to make new friends. Make a Friend Day inspires people to step out their comfort zone and try to meet new people and become friends with them.
    More Tolerant
    Making new friends can help people broaden their horizons and learn about different cultures and parts of the society. Research has shown that people with diverse group of friends are more tolerant, open to new ideas, and empathetic than people who have a small or a non-diverse group of friends.
    How to Celebrate?
    Say hello to new people and make new friends. Attend events in the city where you can meet like-minded and interesting people. Be adventurous and attend an event that you may never have thought about attending. Who knows you may even meet your future best friends there! Did You Know…
    …that studies have shown that on average people will remain long-term friends with 1 out of every 12 people they consider to be friends?
    ~~~~~~~
    Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
    February 11 is Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day, an annual reminder that nothing good ever comes out of holding on to regrets.

    The name of the holiday comes from the English language idiom crying over spilled milk, which means to be sad over something that cannot be undone. Just like nothing can be done once milk has been spilled, one must not worry about something that is in the past.
    Learning From Our Mistakes
    We all make regrettable decisions in life. And while it is important to apologize to people whom our bad decisions may have affected, set things right for them, and learn from our mistakes, we must also ensure that we don’t spend more time than necessary on regret.
    Regretting Regret
    Studies have shown that long-term regret – that includes disappointment, remorse, shame, anger, and embarrassment over one’s actions – can have a negative effect on one’s mental and physical well-being. By focusing energy and thoughts on a past event, long-term regret can stop people from re-engaging with life and can often cripple a person’s decision-making process. Holding on to regret can also be stressful to the person’s body by negatively impacting his or her immune system. Regretful people are more prone to being sick, have more mental health issues, and they tend to attract fewer people socially than those who do not hold on to any form of regret.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have any regrets, today is the day to start letting go of them. We won’t tell you that it will be easy, but once you start the process, you won’t regret it! Did You Know…
    ...that there are 3 types of tears – basal, reflex and emotional? Basal tears are what keep our eyes moist throughout the day, while our eyes secrete reflex tears when dust or a foreign particle irritates them. Emotional tears are the tears we are all familiar with; we shed them when we are experiencing a range of emotions - anger, sadness, guilt, happiness, and joy.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Our booking office had three phones. One day during lunch, I was responsible for answering all of them. It was a constant repeat of “May I help you?” or “Will you hold?”
    I guess I got confused because I surprised one man on the other end of the line when I answered his call with, “May I hold you?”
     
    ***
     
    I’m known as a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents and asked me to “decifer” them, I had to set him straight.
    “Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f,” I wrote. “In case you’ve forgotten, spellchecker comes free with your Microsoft program.”
    A minute later came his reply: “Must be dephective.”
     
    ***
     
    With the economy improved, 
my son, Pat, finally found a job in electrical engineering. Pat traveled to various locales to analyze and fix problems with his company’s equipment. Yet it frustrated him that his employer gave him little training.
    One day Pat heard about some training classes coming up and asked if he might attend.
    “Oh, sure,” his boss said. “You’re going to be the instructor.”
     
    ***
     
    I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store.
    Clothes, but no cigar.
     
    ***
     
    Q: What is the best way to cook a gator?
    A: In a crock-pot.
     
     
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    Moriusaq - Wikipedia
     
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    sandrewn
    I am a huge snooker fan. I watched that game when Ronnie O'Sullivan missed the maxim (147), by one point (146) on purpose. Here it is if you are interested.
    Ronnie O'Sullivan Refuses 147 in Protest, Prize Is Too Low [Full Frame] - YouTube
  13. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 558
    February 10th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Austrebertha Charalambos José Sánchez del Río Scholastica February 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Feast of St. Paul's Shipwreck (Malta) Fenkil Day (Eritrea) Kurdish Authors Union Day (Iraqi Kurdistan) National Memorial Day of the Exiles and Foibe (Italy)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    All the News That's Fit to Print Day
    Children's Hospice Day
    International Cribbage Day
    International Winter Bike to Work Day
    National Cream Cheese Brownie Day
    National Flannel Day
    National Home Warranty Day
    National Julio Day
    National Louis Day
    Plimsoll Day
    Scout Sabbath
    Teddy Day
    Valentismas
    Welsh Language Music Day
    World Pulses Day
     
    Emily Bustamante’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Umbrella Day
    February 10 is Umbrella Day, so honor the humble umbrella for shielding you from the elements all year long.

    Umbrellas have always been a part of human history, though in ancient times they were used only by the nobility and by the rich. In many cultures, umbrellas were used as part of religious ceremonies and rituals.
    Fashion Accessory
    In the 18th century, umbrellas became a popular women's fashion accessory and by the end of the 19th century, umbrellas had become a household item. It is thought that Englishman Jonas Hanway was the first male Londoner to carry an umbrella and that he was responsible for the popularity of umbrellas as an accessory among men in Europe and elsewhere.
    More Practical
    Today, with advances in technology, umbrellas have become smaller, lighter, easier to carry and more resilient to wind and strong rain. A majority of umbrellas on the market these days are manufactured in China.
    Although umbrellas are sometimes also called parasols, parasols may not always be waterproof and are usually intended to shield people from sunshine rather than rain.
    The holiday is also known as National Umbrella Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Check the weather in your location and bring out your coolest umbrella to accessorize your outfit. Go to the beach, and relax under your beach umbrella while having a drink with an umbrella in it. Learn more about the history and the science behind umbrellas. Did You Know…
    …that some people believe that opening an umbrella indoors is considered to bring bad luck?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.
    “I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.
    “No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”
     
    ***
     
    As the hostess at the casino 
buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my 
husband, who would be joining me 
momentarily.
    I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly ...”
    She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”
     
    ***
     
    5 Lies Job Applicants Tell
    Gilding the lily is a job seeker’s birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed …   ... to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. ... to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. ... to be a Nobel Prize winner. ... to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. ... he was fired “on accident.”  
    ***
     
    A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He tentatively approaches the deceased’s wife and asks whether he can say a word. The widow nods.
    The man clears his throat and says, “Plethora.”
    The widow smiles appreciatively. “Thank you,” she says. “That means a lot.”
     
     
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    Walmart Sued For Collecting Life Insurance on Employees | WFSU News
     
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    sandrewn
  14. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 557
    February 9th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Further information: February 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Alto of Altomünster Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich Ansbert of Rouen Apollonia Bracchio Einion the King (Western Orthodoxy) Blessed Leopold of Alpandeire Maron (Maronite Church) Miguel Febres Cordero Nebridius Sabinus of Canosa Teilo (Wales) February 9 is the earliest day on which Clean Monday can fall, while March 15 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday of Great Lent. (Eastern Christianity) February 9 is the earliest day on which People's Sunday can fall, while March 15 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday of Lent. (Malta) St. Maroun's Day (public holiday in Lebanon)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Pizza Day
    Pizza Pie Day
    Chocolate Day
    Giving Hearts Day
    Gwyl Mabsant
    National Cut the Cord Day
    National Develop Alternative Vices Day
    National Owen Day
    Read In The Bathtub Day
     
    Chung-ha Kim’s Birthday
    Tom Hiddleston’s Birthday
    Johnny Suh’s Birthday
    Jalen Green’s Birthday
    DJ Prince’s Birthday
    Craig Conover’s Birthday
    Bella Poarch’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Toothache Day
    February 9 is Toothache Day. It is admittedly not a fun holiday, especially if you are suffering from, or have bad memories of, a toothache.

    Today is a good day to remind us that toothaches are never fun and that maintaining oral health is very important to keep painful toothaches away.
    Created by Dentists?
    While the origins of Toothache Day are a mystery, we suspect that it was a dentist who created this unofficial holiday to remind people that taking care of one's oral well-being is very important to live a happy, healthy and long life.
    The holiday is also called National Toothache Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating Toothache Day is an oxymoron, but there are ways you can celebrate toothache-free days by giving your teeth and oral health attention on this day. Make an appointment with your dentist for a checkup. Take advantage of this day to resolve to brush and floss your teeth at least twice every day. Avoid food items that are bad for your oral health. Did You Know…
    …that the phrase I would give my eye-teeth refers to the fact that our canine teeth, also sometimes known as eye-teeth, are incredibly valuable to us? The phrase indicates a person’s want of something.
    ~~~~~~~
    Bagel and Lox Day
    Bagel and Lox Day is an unofficial holiday dedicated to the quintessential Jewish American dish made of bagels, cream cheese, and lox or cured salmon.

    This holiday of unknown origins is also often known as National Bagel Day or Bagel Day. In 2018, Thomas', a division of Bimbo Bakeries USA, decided to move the date of National Bagel Day from February 9 to January 15 to avoid competing with National Pizza Day.
    Despite this, many people still prefer to celebrate this holiday on the original date of February 9.
    Ring Shaped Bread
    Popularized first by Jewish immigrants in New York City, bagels and lox is a classic combination and is a dish usually eaten during breakfast or for brunch.
    Traditionally from Poland, bagels are ring-shaped bread made out of wheat dough that is first boiled and then baked to give it its distinctive chewy texture. The hole in the middle is thought to make it easier for the bagel to cook as well as easier for bakers to transport and store lots of bagels at one time – all they need to do is to string a rope or thread through the bagel holes.
    Lox and Schmear
    The word lox is derived from the Yiddish word for salmon, laks. In the United States, lox is brined and cured salmon that has been sliced very thinly. On a bagel, it is usually served with cream cheese, popularly called schmear, from the German word for spread.
    How to Celebrate
    This one’s easy. Just go to your closest deli and get yourself a bagel with cream cheese and lox. Don’t have a deli close to you? Make the sandwich yourself at home – all you’ll need is some cream cheese, a bagel, and some lox. Add a slice of tomato or onion and you have a delicious meal ready! Did You Know…
    ...that the shape of a bagel – a ring with a hole – is technically called a torus? The word torus comes from the Latin word for cushion.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Hoss drove over to the next county to buy a new bull for the farm. It cost more than expected, and he was left with only one dollar. This was a problem, since he needed to let his wife, Sue, know that he'd bought the bull so she could come get it with the truck—and telegrams cost a dollar per word. Hoss thought hard for a minute.
    Finally he said, "All right. Here's my dollar. Go ahead and just make it this one word: Comfortable."
    "How's that going to get your point across?" the clerk asked, scratching his head.
    "Don't worry," Hoss said. "Sue's not the greatest reader. She'll say it real slow."
     
    ***
     
    A man is pulled over by a police officer for a broken headlight. The cop looks in the car and sees a collection of knives on the backseat. "Sir," he says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
    "They're for my juggling act," the man replies.
    "Prove it," says the cop.
    The man gets out of the car and begins juggling the knives just as two men drive by.
    "Man," says one guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."  
     
    ***
     
    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Wash., factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The solid-steel weights were bright yellow and marked "14,000 lbs."
    But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flight."    
     
    ***
     
    A man goes to the doctor, concerned about his wife's hearing. The doctor says, "Stand behind her and say something and tell me how close you are when she hears you."
    The man goes home, sees his wife in the kitchen, cutting carrots on the countertop. About 15 feet away he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Nothing.
    He gets halfway to her and repeats the same question. Nothing.
    Very concerned, he gets right behind her and asks again "What's for dinner?"
    She turns around and says "For the THIRD time, beef stew!"
     
     
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    (That's two or three sharks per second)
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 556
    February 8th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Cuthmann of Steyning Elffled of Whitby Gerolamo Emiliani Josephine Bakhita Juventius of Pavia Meingold of Huy Stephen of Muret February 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Feast of Orthodoxy can fall, while March 14 is the latest; celebrated 42 days before Easter; the first Sunday of Lent. (Orthodoxy) Parinirvana Day (some Mahayana Buddhism traditions, most celebrate on February 15) Prešeren Day (Slovenia) Propose Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Molasses Bar Day
    National Boy Scout Day
    National Iowa Day
    National Kite-Flying Day
    Opera Day
     
    Shereen Jenkins’s Birthday
    Klay Thompson’s Birthday
    I.N’s Birthday
    Jaden Hossler’s Birthday
    Charlie Axel Woods’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Laugh and Get Rich Day
    February 8 is Laugh and Get Rich Day. A day for enriching your life with happiness.

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are not known, it seems that the unknown creators of the holiday wanted to encourage people to spend the day laughing and being happy.
    Happy and Healthy
    While being happy won't make you laugh all the way to the bank, it will certainly help improve your mood and your health. Studies have shown that people who are happy and laugh often tend to have less stress, lower blood pressure, and a better immune response. Laughing and sharing jokes can also have social benefits. Happy people tend to have more friends and are easily accepted by social groups.
    More Productive
    Being happy can also help a person professionally. Joyful workers are more productive and liked by their co-workers compared to cranky and unhappy professionals.
    Other happy days to celebrate are Happiness Happens Day, Let's Laugh Day, I Want You to be Happy Day, and International Moment of Laughter Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Laugh, laugh, and laugh! Tell jokes and solicit jokes from friends and co-workers to put you in the mood to think up of money making ventures. Watch the 1931 American comedy movie, Laugh and Get Rich starring Edna May Oliver and Hugh Herbert with family and friends. Did You Know…
    …that laughing can burn calories? Scientists have found that 15 minutes of laughter can burn as many as 50 calories.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Q: What's a good holiday tip?
    A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
    ***
    I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up ... they have no holidays.
    ***
    A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
    ***
    A Holiday Quiz
    “Pretend to be someone you’re 
not, and receive candy.”   Quick: 
Halloween or 
Valentine’s Day? ***
    In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine's Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.

    "What happened?" I asked.

    "Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."
     
    ***
     
    While shopping for a bathroom scale, I found one that tracks not only weight but also body fat, bone mass, and water percentage. I nixed that one in favor of a low-tech model.
    As I told the salesperson,
    “I don’t need to be depressed four ways; one is quite enough.”
     
     
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    Arena - Wikipedia
     
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    sandrewn
  16. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 555
    February 7th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Richard the Pilgrim Blessed Eugénie Smet Blessed Pope Pius IX Chrysolius Egidio Maria of Saint Joseph February 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) New Martyrs and Confessors of the Russian Orthodox Church Typically observed on the Sunday closest to January 25 (O.S.)/February 7 (N.S.) Independence Day (Grenada), celebrates the independence of Grenada from the United Kingdom in 1974. National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    African American Coaches Day
    Ballet Day
    Hug an Addict or Alcoholic Day
    International Clash Day
    National Fettuccine Alfredo Day
    National Jack Day
    National Periodic Table Day
    Rose Day
    Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day
    Safer Internet Day
     
    LaToya Forever’s Birthday
    Sandra Bland’s Birthday
    John Deere’s Birthday
    Jun Seba’s Birthday
    Garth Brooks’s Birthday
    Jacksepticeye’s Birthday
    Gabbie Hanna’s Birthday
    Chris Rock’s Birthday
    Charles Dickens’s Birthday
    BabyFace Ray’s Birthday
    Ashton Kutcher’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Tue Feb 7th, 2022 - Tue Feb 14th, 2022 Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week
     
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    e-Day
    e-Day celebrates the mathematical constant e, which has a value of 2.7182818. It is celebrated on February 7 in countries that follow the month/day (m/d) date format. This is because the first two digits of the date - 2/7 - correspond to the first two digits of the constant.

    People living in countries that follow the day/month (d/m) format celebrate it on January 27. The first three digits of this date - 27/1 - match up with the first three digits of e (2.71).
    Euler’s Number
    Also known Euler’s number, after the Swiss mathematician Leonhard Euler, e is an irrational number that represents the idea that all continually growing systems are a scaled version of a common rate. It is mostly used in logarithms, exponential growth, and complex numbers. It is one of the most important numbers in mathematics, including 0, 1 and pi (π).
    e is also sometimes called the Napier's Constant and is often incorrectly referred to Euler's Constant. Euler's Constant is denoted by lower case gamma (γ) and has a value of 0.57721.
    Other e Days
    Many European countries celebrate Euro Day, sometimes also called e Day. The day is observed on January 1 and celebrates the anniversary of the adoption of the Euro, Europe's common currency in 2002. In New Zealand, eDay is a day where people can get rid of e-waste or old electronics such as computers and old appliances so they can be recycled rather than being placed in a landfill. Engineer’s Day is observed in Paducah, Kentucky on February 21, where many people participate in an egg drop contest, create edible cars, and tape people to walls.
    Other Mathematical Holidays
    The year is full of mathematical and scientific holidays. Some of these include: Yellow Pig Day, Mole Day, Fibonacci Day, Palindrome Day, and Pi-Day. Use our Date Pattern Calculator to find out other interesting calendar dates during the year.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate this fun mathematical holiday by learning more about Euler's number and its importance in mathematics and science. Eat foods that begin with e - make eggs, eggplant, or eclairs. Make eggnog as a before dinner refreshment or eggs benedict for breakfast. Did You Know...
    ...that there is an island in northern Scotland called Eday?
    ~~~~~~~
    Send a Card to a Friend Day
    February 7 is Send a Card to a Friend Day.

    The unofficial holiday encourages people to send a card to a friend to let them know that they haven't been forgotten.
    Stay Connected
    While we all love our friends and would like to keep in touch with them all the time, daily life can sometimes make it hard to stay connected. If you are unable to keep up with the lives and times of your friends, then Send a Card to a Friend Day is the prefect excuse to take some time during the day to write a note to a dear friend to let them know you are thinking of them.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating this holiday is very simple. Take some time out of your busy day and write notes to your friends. Everyone loves a handwritten note, but if you can’t do that send them an e-card or even an email. No one will judge you as long as they hear from you. Did You Know…
    …that the earliest known greeting card is a Valentine’s Day card thought to have been sent sometime in the 1400s?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum...
    ***
    Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan 
of the expression “The worst day 
of fishing is better than the 
best day at work.”
    “I’ve watched The Deadliest 
Catch on Discovery,” 
he said.
    “I’ve never once 
been at work, capsized in 
40-degree water, watched all my coworkers die, and been like, ‘Hey, at least we’re fishin’.’”
    ***
    It’s important to have a good vocabulary.
    If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be living.
    ***
    Some sad news from Australia … the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. —Johnny Carson
     
    ***
     
    Q: What weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?
    A: The water. Butane is lighter fluid.
     
     
    ***
     
     

    A top-secret government agency who is in charge of all things superhero is set to unveil their newest recruits. —redheads. Based on findings published in various medical journals, scientists have shifted their efforts from creating rings that give the wearer unique powers to the training of redheads on how they can...
    Redheads Possess DNA Linked to Superheroism - According To Anonymous S – I AM & CO
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 554
    February 6th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Amand Dorothea of Caesarea Hildegund, O.Praem. Jacut Mateo Correa Magallanes (one of Saints of the Cristero War) Mél of Ardagh Paul Miki and Twenty-six Martyrs of Japan Relindis (Renule) of Maaseik Vedastus February 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation (United Nations) Ronald Reagan Day (California, United States) Sami National Day (Russia, Finland, Norway and Sweden) Waitangi Day, celebrates the founding of New Zealand in 1840.  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Frozen Yogurt Day
    National Ashley Day
    National Chopsticks Day
    National Sickie Day
    National Valentine Shopping Reminder Day
    Oatmeal Monday
    Pay a Compliment Day
    Reclaim Social Day
    Time to Talk Day
    Tu BiShvat
     
    Ronald Reagan’s Birthday
    Zsa Zsa Gabor’s Birthday
    Natalie Cole’s Birthday
    Rick Astley’s Birthday
    Ginny Lemon’s Birthday
    Drita D'Avanzo’s Birthday
    Babe Ruth’s Birthday
    Axl Rose’s Birthday
    Bob Marley’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Feb 6th, 2023 - Fri Feb 10th, 2023 National School Counseling Week
    Pride In Foodservice Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Lame Duck Day
    February 6 is Lame Duck Day. The unofficial holiday honors anyone who is on their way out of their jobs or their elected office.

    Contrary to popular belief, a lame duck is not an injured or an uncool duck.
    Political Term
    Lame duck is a term usually reserved for politics in many democratic countries in the West and in Australia. It refers to a person or a group of people who are nearing the end of their elected term and will not be running for political office again.
    Risky Decisions
    Because their time in political office is limited, lame ducks are thought to have a freer hand in making decisions. Studies have shown that elected politicians towards the end of their tenure tend to make risky decisions. This is because they do not need to worry about the political consequences of their actions anymore.
    Stock Exchange
    The term lame duck however, originated in a field far from politics. Etymologists trace the first usage of the word to the London Stock Exchange in the 18th century. The term was used to refer to a defaulter - 'someone who couldn't pay his or her debts and then waddled off like a duck'. The usage of the term to refer to an elected official on his or her way out dates back to the late 19th century in the United States.
    How to Celebrate
    Honor any lame ducks you may have around you. If you personally know of one, throw them a going away party. If you are in the United States, learn more about the 20th Amendment to the U.S. constitution, also sometimes known as the lame duck amendment. Did You Know…
    …that a group of ducks is called a team or a raft?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    An exercise for people who are out of shape:
    Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax.
    After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags.
    Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
    Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
     
    ***
     
    Things I overheard at my health club:
    “I’m only taking this class so I don’t eat for an hour.” “Who knew 40 years of neglect would have repercussions?” “Does this body make me look fat?”  
    ***
     
    Could a ...
    ... librarian be called a bookkeeper?
    ... referee be a game warden?
    ... dairyman be a cowboy?
    ... cabinetmaker be the president?
     
    ***
     
    A man came in to give his application to the manager. But the manager asked, "Why is there a four-year gap in your application?"
    And the man responded, "Yale."
    The manager hired him and the guy said,
    "Thanks. I needed a yob."
     
     
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    February 5th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adelaide of Vilich Agatha of Sicily Avitus of Vienne Bertulf (Bertoul) of Renty Ingenuinus (Jenewein) Roger Williams, Anne Hutchinson (Episcopal Church (United States)) 26 Martyrs of Japan (in Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and Anglican Church in Japan) February 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Mexico) Crown Princess Mary's birthday (Denmark) Kashmir Solidarity Day (Pakistan) Liberation Day (San Marino) Runeberg's Birthday (Finland) Unity Day (Burundi)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Shower with a Friend Day
    World Nutella Day
    Adlai Stevenson Day
    British Yorkshire Pudding Day
    Disaster Day
    Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
    Floating Lanterns Festival
    Lantern Festival Taiwan
    Guru Ravidas Jayanti
    Maghi Purnima
    Move Hollywood & Broadway to Lebanon PA Day
    National Fart Day
    National Leo Day
    National Pork Rind Day
    National Primrose Day
    National Weatherman's Day
    Navam Full Moon Poya
    Scout Sunday
    Thaipoosam Cavadee
    Thaipusam
    Tourism Day
    Western Monarch Day
    World Animal Reiki Day
    Grammy Awards Day
    Tu BiShvat
     
    Steven Suptic’s Birthday
    Neymar’s Birthday
    Kevin Gates’s Birthday
    Hank Aaron’s Birthday
    Cristiano Ronaldo’s Birthday
    Bobby Brown’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Sun Feb 5th, 2023 - Sat Feb 11th, 2023
    International Networking Week
    Feeding Tube Awareness Week
    Boy Scouts Anniversary Week
    Burn Awareness Week
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    National Weatherperson's Day
    National Weatherperson’s Day is celebrated every year on February 5.

    On this unofficial holiday, honor the women and men who keep an eye on the weather so that you don’t get caught unawares by changing or extreme weather.
    The First Weatherman
    Primarily celebrated in the United States, the holiday commemorates the birth anniversary of John Jeffries, thought to be America's first weatherman. A physician by profession, Jeffries started collecting weather data in Boston in 1774. Ten years later, in 1784, he became the first person in the world to collect weather data from a weather observation balloon over London.
    Celebrates the Science
    This day celebrates the science of meteorology and encourages people to pay tribute to the women and men who forecast and broadcast weather related information and warnings every day of the year. The day also honors volunteers, storm chasers, and meteorologists who sometimes risk their lives in order to collect climate and weather data and to alert the public and businesses about severe weather conditions.
    The holiday is also known as National Weatherman’s Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Know a meteorologist or a weatherperson? Thank them for all their hard work. If you are a science teacher or have young adults in your life, encourage them to look at meteorology as a career option. Learn more about weather patterns and meteorological events. Visit a weather or meteorology museum. Did You Know…
    …that the first weather forecast was printed in The Times of London on August 1, 1861?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Chocolate Fondue Day
    February 5 is Chocolate Fondue Day, a made-up holiday that encourages people to get together with family and friends and enjoy a fondue pot of delicious and gooey melted chocolate.

    Chocolate fondue is the dessert version of the traditional fondue – pieces of bread and vegetables dipped in melted cheese. In chocolate fondue, pieces of fruit, cake or cookies are dipped into sweetened melted chocolate.
    Bringing People Together
    Fondue is a communal dish eaten out of a pot that is kept warm with a candle or lamp. The heat keeps the cheese or the chocolate melted and warm. Diners use skewers, toothpicks, or special fondue forks to dip the bread or fruit in the melted cheese or chocolate. Etiquette requires that the dipping instrument is only used to bring the food from the fondue pot to the diner’s plate and that diners never double dip their morsels of food in the cheese or chocolate.
    An American Invention With Swiss Roots
    Thought to be the national dish of Switzerland, fondue is thought to have originated in the country as a way to use up leftover cheese. Original cheese fondue recipes called for the cheese to be mixed with wine and herbs.
    Rumor has it that chocolate fondue was first created in the United States, where this holiday is also known as National Chocolate Fondue Day, sometime in the 1950s.
    How to Celebrate?
    With chocolate fondue, of course! Get your friends and family together and indulge in some delicious chocolate fondue. To keep it healthy, offer an array of fruits – apples, strawberries, oranges, bananas – to the diners. In addition to fruits, you can also serve cake, cookies, waffles, marshmallows, and ice cream cubes for everyone to dip in the chocolate. Have a chocolate fondue party. Set up a fondue station with different kinds of melted chocolates and chocolate flavors. May we recommend dark chocolate with bacon bits, salted caramel chocolate, mint chocolate, and white chocolate with sprinkles? Did You Know…
    ...that fondue bourguignonne is a type of fondue where diners dip pieces of uncooked meat into hot oil?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Author Cindy Chupack coined these useful neologisms to help those dating today.

    Man-me-downs: Men who are passed on from one woman to another after a failed attempt at romance.

    Cupidity: The faulty logic that leads a well-meaning but clueless third party to believe that two random singles are perfect for each other.

    DNRR (Do Not Resuscitate Romance): A directive that you are not, under any circumstance, allowed to revive a past relationship.
     
    ***
     
    I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books. After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk.
    I asked what he was looking for, but he didn't answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books.
    "Since I couldn't find the right engagement ring," he said, "this will have to do," and he firmly stamped my hand.
    Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read "NOT FOR CIRCULATION."
     
    ***
     
    Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign.
    "Why the new sign?" I asked.
    "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said.
    When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood.
    It declared: "Local Honey Dates Nuts"
     
    ***
     
    Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear. But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge.
    “I’m terribly sorry,” said the waiter.
    “So you should be,” replied Fred.
    “Thanks to you, I’ve pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails.”
     
     
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    February 4th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Andrew Corsini Gilbert of Sempringham John de Brito Goldrofe of Arganil Blessed Rabanus Maurus Rimbert February 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Armed Struggle (Angola) Earliest day on which Ash Wednesday can fall, while March 10 is the latest; celebrated on the first day of Lent (Christianity) Independence Day (Sri Lanka) Rosa Parks Day (California and Missouri, United States) World Cancer Day International Day of Human Fraternity  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Facebook's Birthday
    Farmer's Day
    International Pisco Sour Day
    Liberace Day
    Medjoola Date Day
    National Hemp Day
    National Homemade Soup Day
    National Israel Day
    National Quacker Day
    National Wicker Day
    Philippine-American War Memorial Day
    Sweater Day
    Take Your Child To The Library Day
    Torture Abolition Day
    USO Day
    Yukon Quest
    National Lace Day
     
    Rosa Parks’s Birthday
    Tabitha Brown’s Birthday
    Alice Cooper’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (4)
    Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day
    Make ice cream the breakfast of champions on the first Saturday of February, also known as Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day.

    It is thought that the unofficial holiday was first created in the 1960s by Florence Rappaport in Rochester, New York as a way to entertain her children on a cold and snowy morning. Her brilliant idea took root and has now become a holiday celebrated by people around the world.
    Similar holidays include Vanilla Ice Cream Day, Ice Cream Day, Ice Cream Sandwich Day, and Strawberry Ice Cream Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Replace your oats and cereal with ice cream. Have fruit ice cream instead of breakfast fruits. Top your pancakes and crepes with ice cream. Used to having bacon for breakfast? What about making bacon ice cream for breakfast instead? Organize an ice cream charity brunch. Serve your guests different flavors of ice cream and raise money for your favorite childhood cancer awareness charity. Did You Know…
    …that according to some estimates, the United States is the leading consumer of ice cream in the world? New Zealand comes a close second.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thank Your Mailman Day
    Thank Your Mailman Day is celebrated on February 4 every year.

    The unofficial holiday honors people who deliver mail or post directly to people's homes and places of business.
    Old Mail
    Historians believe that people were hired to deliver royal letters and decrees as early as 2000 BC. The oldest recorded postal document is from Egypt and dates back to 255 BC.
    This is a day to acknowledge and thank your mail person and postal worker for bringing your mail to you everyday, rain or shine, and also for not being intimated by your neighbor’s mean looking dog.
    Thank Your Mailman Day is also known as National Thank Your Mailman Day in the U.S.
    How to Celebrate?
    Say hello to your postal worker and thank them for their service. If you are unable to meet them in person, what about leaving a little thank you note for your mail carrier in your mailbox? Even better, add a small homemade treat or a bar of candy with the note to show your appreciation. Did You Know…
    …that in 1920, the United States Post Office banned sending children by post?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Create a Vacuum Day
    They say that nothing ever happens in a vacuum, but this holiday - Create a Vacuum Day, on February 4 - seems to have emerged from one.

    The source, or even the purpose, of this fun and geeky holiday are unknown, so we can only guess that the holiday calls for people to learn more about the science behind a vacuum and experiment with it (as much as they can with common household equipment).
    The word, vacuum comes from the Latin word vacuus, meaning empty or vacant, and is used by scientists to refer to a space that does not have any matter or where the pressure is lower than atmospheric pressure.
    No Perfect Vacuum
    While theoretically, a perfect vacuum can exist, practically creating one is almost impossible. This is because of, what scientists call virtual particles – particles that can enter and exit a vacuum. Such particles include photons and quarks. Outer space is considered by scientists as being closest to a state of perfect vacuum as there can be, even though it is not completely devoid of matter. Apart from space debris that includes comets and asteroids, outer space has stray atoms of gases and different forms of radiation.
    Household Applications
    In addition to its theoretical applications, the concept of vacuum has led to many industrial and household items that we find indispensable today. In our homes, a vacuum can be used to suck up dirt through the vacuum cleaner and even light up our rooms through incandescent light bulbs. Outside, vacuum is used to pack food and other items, in vacuum pumps, and to build electron microscopes. Even car brakes work by creating a form of vacuum.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about the science behind vacuum, a space completely empty of matter, and its practical uses.
    Take out the vacuum cleaner from the closet and use it - you are due to clean your home anyway.
    Did You Know…
    …that the world’s first vacuum cleaner was invented in 1866 by Ives W. McGaffey in the United States?
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Stuffed Mushroom Day
    February 4 is Stuffed Mushroom Day. Also known as National Stuffed Mushroom Day in the United States, this made-up holiday clearly encourages people to make and consume lots and lots of stuffed mushrooms.

    A popular party dish, stuffed mushrooms are made by removing the stems and stuffing the resulting hollow space with meat and vegetable filling. Stuffed mushrooms are usually savory and are typically sprinkled with breadcrumbs and cheese and baked before being served.
    Meat for Vegetarians
    Mushrooms are the fleshy parts of fungi that bear spores. In many cultures, they are an integral part of the cuisine and are a prominent source of dietary minerals and vitamin B. Mushrooms are low calories and have low amounts of carbohydrates, making them an ideal diet food.
    While mushrooms are botanically neither fruits or vegetables, in many parts of the world, they are considered safe for vegetarians to consume and are often considered to be a meat substitute.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make a huge batch of stuffed mushrooms and have them for all your meals of the day. Start will egg and bacon stuffed mushrooms for breakfast, have sausage stuffed mushrooms for lunch, and end the day with sweet potato and parmesan stuffed mushrooms. Host a stuffed mushrooms party. Have your guests bring their favorite stuffed mushrooms to share. Did You Know…
    ...that a person or an animal who eats mushrooms and fungi for nutrition is called a mycophagist?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Once there was a guy named Bill who wanted a horse. On Craigslist, Bill saw a Christian horse so he went to check it out.
    When Bill got to the ranch, the horse's owner said "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'praise the Lord' to make him go, and 'amen' to make him stop."
    Bill got on the horse and said "praise the Lord." the horse started to walk.
    "Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord" and the horse is running.
    Now Bill sees the cliff and says: "AMEN."
    The horse stops and Bill says: "Whew! Praise the lord!"
     
    ***
     
    A man came through my lane at the grocery store with a jug of wine and a bouquet of roses. But before paying, he set the two items aside and said, “I’ll be right back.”
    He ran off, only to ­return a minute later with a second jug of wine and another bouquet of roses.
    “Two girlfriends?” I asked.
    “No,” he said. “Just one really angry one.”
     
    ***
     
    A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her.
    The customer, clearly looking to save a few bucks, said, “The package doesn’t have to get there till Saturday. Is there any way to make that happen?”
    Billy nodded. “Sure. You can bring it back tomorrow.”
     
    ***
     
    I admit it—I have a tendency to exaggerate, and I was afraid when I joined the Navy that my “creativity” might get me in trouble. But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height.
    Now, I was shy of six feet tall, but when our drill sergeant called for all six-footers to line up, I stepped forward anyway. I instantly knew I was in the right outfit when I looked around.
    I was the tallest guy in line.
     
     
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    February 3rd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aaron the Illustrious (Syriac Orthodox Church) Ansgar Berlinda of Meerbeke Blaise Celsa and Nona Claudine Thévenet Dom Justo Takayama (Philippines and Japan) Hadelin Margaret of England Werburgh February 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Virgin of Suyapa (Honduras) Earliest day on which Shrove Tuesday can fall, while March 9 is the latest; celebrated on Tuesday before Ash Wednesday (Christianity) Four Chaplains Day (United States, also considered a Feast Day by the Episcopal Church) Communist Party of Vietnam Foundation Anniversary (Vietnam) Day of Finnish architecture and design, birthday of Alvar Aalto (Finland) Heroes' Day (Mozambique) Martyrs' Day (São Tomé and Príncipe) Setsubun (Japan) Veterans' Day (Thailand)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Doggy Date Night
    National Bubble Gum Day
    Bubblegum Day
    National Golden Retriever Day
    National Wear Red Day
    National Women Physicians Day
    American Painters Day
    Anniversary of the Liberation of the Battle of Manila
    Elmo's Birthday
    Feed the Birds Day
    Give Kids A Smile
    National Cordova Ice Worm Day
    National Missing Persons Day
    National Patient Recognition Day
    National Trevor Day
    National Wedding Ring Day
    National Woman's Heart Day
    Number Day
    Setsubun
    Take a Cruise Day
    The Day the Music Died
    World Read Aloud Day
     
    Luis Coronel’s Birthday
    Taylor Caniff’s Birthday
    India Love’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Carrot Cake Day
    Celebrated annually on February 3, the holiday celebrates this cake made with carrots.

    Eaten since the Middle Ages, it is thought that carrot cake came about because of the high prices and rarity of sugar. To get around this problem, inventive bakers and cooks used sweet vegetables to sweeten their cakes and voila, the humble, but oh, so delicious carrot cake was born.
    Healthier Cake
    Carrot cake is considered a tad bit healthier than your average sugary cake. Carrots are full of fiber and packed with health-promoting beta carotene, that promote good vision, especially night vision, and help combat health-damaging free radical activity. It is usually made with less sugar, healthy oils, and sometimes has healthy nuts in it.
    Similar holidays include Cake Day, Chocolate Cake Day, and National Cheesecake Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    With lots and lots of carrot cake, of course! Bake some carrot cake and share with family and friends. Did You Know...
    ...that according to the Food and Agriculture Organization, almost half of all carrots meant for human consumption come from China?
     
    ~~~~~~~
    Work Naked Day
    Do you dream of working from home in your most comfortable attire? Then Work Naked Day on the first Friday of February is the holiday for you.

    Created by author and home office expert, Lisa Kanare, the holiday is not about working without clothes (though you certainly can, if you would like to), but is about working from the comfortable confines of your home.
    Working from home not an option? In April, you can wear your pajamas to work.
    How to Celebrate?
    Ask your boss or supervisor if you can work from home. Remember, you don’t have to work naked from home if you do not want to. Wear your most comfortable pajamas and work in your home office or your backyard or from your couch. If you do decide to work naked, make sure you do not have any official teleconferences. If you run a company, what about instituting a work from home program? Did You Know...
    ...that research has shown that those who work from home offices tend to be more productive and happier than those who are forced to come to work every day?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Have You Ever Been Insulted And Complimented At The Same Time? It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time.
    Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you.”
     
    ***
     
    I’ve been working on my PhD 
in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get 
a job there.
    Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”
    “Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”
     
    ***
     
    The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.
    “How old are you?” a tenant asked.
    “I’m 81 years old,” he answered.
    The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”
     
    ***
     
    In the hardware store, a 
clerk asked, “Can I help you find 
anything?”
    “How about my misspent youth,” joked my husband.
    The clerk shot back, “We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.”
     
    ***
     
    On a fishing trip to a remote lake in Northern Quebec, I asked the outfitter, “Do you stay here during the winter?”
    “No,” he said. “The snow gets too deep. We can’t get supplies in. Like many Canadians, I go south for the winter.”
    “Oh,” I said. “Where do you go?”
    “Vermont.”
     
     
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    You think you're having a bad day!??
     
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    February 2nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Groundhog Day Anniversary of Treaty of Tartu (Estonia) Christian Feast Day: Adalbard Cornelius the Centurion Martyrs of Ebsdorf February 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Philippines) Day of Youth (Azerbaijan) Earliest day on which Shrove Monday can fall, while March 8 is the latest; celebrated on Monday before Ash Wednesday (Christianity), and its related observances: Bun Day (Iceland) Fastelavn (Denmark/Norway) Nickanan Night (Cornwall) Rosenmontag (Germany) Feast of the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple or Candlemas (Western Christianity), and its related observances: A quarter day in the Christian liturgical calendar (due to Candlemas). (Scotland) Celebration of Yemanja or Our Lady of Navigators (Candomblé) Our Lady of the Candles (Filipino Catholics) Virgin of Candelaria (Tenerife, Spain) Victory of the Battle of Stalingrad (Russia) World Wetlands Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Hedgehog Day
    National Tater Tot Day
    National Ukulele Day
    Ayn Rand Day
    California Kiwifruit Day
    Feast of Candelaria
    Groundhog Job Shadow Day
    Marmot Day
    National Brendan Day
    National Brown Dog Day
    National Catchers Day
    National Frank Day
    National Heavenly Hash Day
    National River Day
    Optimist Day
    Rheumatoid Awareness Day
    Self Renewal Day
    Sled Dog Day
    The Record of a Sneeze Day
    Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo
    Lung Leavin’ Day
     
    Shakira’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Day of the Crepe
    February 2 is celebrated as the Day of the Crêpe in France.

    Called jour des crêpes, the holiday is associated with the Catholic feast of Candlemas. On this day households all over France make crêpes. This is because it is believed that crêpes symbolize prosperity.
    Thin Pancakes
    Crêpes are thin pancakes made from a batter of flour, eggs, milk or water, and butter. Thought to have originated in Brittany, France, they were traditionally made with buckwheat flour, though these days they are made with a variety of different flours including white flour, chickpea flour, and almond flour.
    Don't Drop the Coin
    In many French households, it is customary to make crêpes while holding a coin in your hand. The belief is that if you flip the crêpe in the air and catch it in the pan without dropping the coin, the upcoming year will be a prosperous year for you.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make crepes, of course! Not French or Catholic? That shouldn’t stop you from celebrating this delicious dish which is perfect for any meal of the day. Have crêpes for all your meals of the day – sweet crêpes for breakfast and dessert and savory crêpes with savory fillings for lunch and dinner. Did You Know...
    ...that the word crêpe comes from the Latin word crispus, meaning wrinkled and curled?
    ~~~~~~~
    Play Your Ukulele Day
    On February 2 bring out your ukulele and strum it all day long because it is Play Your Ukulele Day.

    The holiday was first celebrated in 2011. Since its inception, the holiday is celebrated all around the world under the slogan bring the world together, four strings at a time.
    Hawaiian Instrument
    A ukulele, also sometimes called a uke, is a four-stringed instrument that was first popularized in Hawaii in the late 19th century. The instrument was a version of the machete, a four-stringed instrument native to the Madeira region of in the Portugal. It is thought that the ukulele was created by Portuguese immigrants to Hawaii.
    Popular Again Today
    The ukulele found its way to mainland United States in the early 20th century, where it became an important instrument in the jazz music and dance scene during the 1920s. It fell out of favor as the instrument of choice for musicians until the early 2000s, when the proliferation of online music and instructional videos made the ukulele a popular musical instrument again.
    The holiday is also known by several other names including International Play Your Ukulele Day, World Play Your Ukulele Day and World Ukulele Day. It is sometimes also celebrated on May 2.
    How to Celebrate?
    Know how to play the instrument? Take out your ukulele and entertain friends and family by playing it. If you have always wanted to learn how to play one, now is the time to make a trip to the music instrument store and get one and start learning how to play it. Start a band that showcases your ukulele playing skills. Did You Know...
    ....that the word ukulele in Hawaiian means jumping flea? It is thought that the instrument was so named because of the way the players fingers jumped around the strings.
     
     
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    Louie and his wife are listening to the radio when they hear the weather report: "A snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street.” So Louie gets up and moves his car.

    Two days later—same thing. "A snow emergency has been declared,” blares the radio. "Park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street.” Louie gets up and does what he’s told.

    Three days later: "There will be a foot of snow today. Park your cars on the ...,” and then the power goes out.

    "What should I do?” a confused Louie asks his wife.

    "This time,” she says, "why don’t you just leave the car in the garage?”
     
    ***
     
    A coworker stormed into my friend's office, yelling, "Did you tell Joan I was a witch?!"
    Stunned, my friend sputtered, "No! I don't know how she found out."
     
    ***
     
    One of our visiting Italian students at Sheppard Air Force Base said he wouldn't be able to fly that day.

    "Why?" his teacher asked.

    Marshaling all the English he knew, the student pointed to his ears and explained, "It's my fallopian tubes."
     
    ***
     
    When a body was brought to her funeral home, my friend contacted the next of kin. Per previous instructions, the deceased would be cremated, she told him, so he needed to come in to identify the body.

    Considering the task at hand, the relative asked, "Does this need to be done before or after the cremation?"
     
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    A friend was due to give birth around the same time that her oldest daughter was due to give birth to her first baby. On the morning my friend went into labor, I happened to drive by her house, wondering what she’d had.
    A sign on the front porch gave me my answer: “It’s an Uncle!”
     
     
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    The great-great-great grandchildren of Dickens take a selfie with him on his 202nd birthday.
     
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    This Is the Last Image the Spirit Mars Rover Ever Saw
     
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  22. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 599
    February 1st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Abolition of Slavery Day (Mauritius) Air Force Day (Nicaragua) Christian feast day: Blessed Candelaria of San José Brigid of Ireland (Saint Brigid's Day) Verdiana February 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Constitution Day can fall, while February 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday in February. (Mexico) Federal Territory Day (Kuala Lumpur, Labuan and Putrajaya, Malaysia) Heroes Day (Rwanda) Saint Brigid's Day/Imbolc (Ireland,[84] Scotland, Isle of Man, and some Neopagan groups in the Northern hemisphere) Memorial Day of the Republic (Hungary) National Freedom Day (United States) The start of Black History Month (United States and Canada)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Signing Day
    Car Insurance Day
    Change Your Password Day
    Conservatorship and Guardianship Abuse Awareness Day
    Day of Remembrance and Respect to Victims of the Communist Regime
    Decorating with Candy Day (1)
    Decorating With Candy Day (2)
    G.I. Joe Day
    Global School Play Day
    Holiday Hugs Day
    Hula in the Coola Day
    Imbolc
    International Face and Body Art Day
    National Baked Alaska Day
    National Cameron Day
    National Dark Chocolate Day
    National Get Up Day
    National Girls and Women in Sports Day
    National Sean Day
    National Serpent Day
    National Texas Day
    Robinson Crusoe Day
    Spunky Old Broads Day
    Tet Nguyen Dan
    World Aspergillosis Day
    World Hijab Day
    World Read Aloud Day
     
    Stormi Webster’s Birthday
    Harry Styles’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~
    Tue Feb 1st, 2022 - Mon Feb 7th, 2022
    Solo Diners Eat Out Week
    National Patient Recognition Week
    African Heritage and Health Week
     
    Observances (click on the month for details)
    National Fasting February
    National Black History Month
    International Vegan Cuisine Month
    North American Inclusion Month
    National Cherry Month
    National Bake For Family Fun Month
    National Bird Feeding Month
    National Hot Breakfast Month
    National Library Lover’s Month
     
    Fun Observances ( 0 )
     
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    Funny Things That Parents Say
    "You shouldn't be eating candy so early. We have doughnuts."

    "The key is to put the mousetrap outside the house. That way, the mice don't come in."   "Your aunt couldn't make it, so I brought the cat."

    "Don't do drugs. They're hell on your body, and I may need one of your organs someday."
        ***
     
    Our 25-year-old son moved back home with an eye toward socking away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked into his room recently. In the corner was a milk jug with a few coins in it and a label that read "Condo down payment."
     
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    People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like
    “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or
    “The early bird gets the worm.”
    All I remember is “Don’t fill up on bread.”
     
    ***
     
    When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous.
    My buddy whispered, “She makes me wish I was 30 years older.”
    “Don’t you mean 30 years younger?” I asked.
    “No. If I were 30 years younger, I’d still never have a chance with a woman like that. If I were 30 years older, it wouldn’t bother me so much.”
     
     
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  23. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 548
    January 31st 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Domitius (Domice) of Amiens Francis Xavier Bianchi Geminianus John Bosco Julius of Novara Blessed Ludovica Máedóc (Mogue, Aiden) Marcella Samuel Shoemaker (Episcopal Church (USA)) Tysul Ulphia Wilgils January 31 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Amartithi (Meherabad, India, followers of Meher Baba) Independence Day (Nauru), celebrates independence from Australia in 1968. Street Children's Day (Austria)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Hot Chocolate Day
    Appreciate Your Social Security Check Day
    Brandy Alexander Day
    Eat Brussel Sprouts Day
    Gorilla Suit Day
    Grammy Awards Day
    Hell is Freezing Over Day
    Hug An Economist Day
    Inspire Your Heart with Art Day
    International Zebra Day
    National Plan for Vacation Day
    National Seth Day
    Scotch Tape Day
     
    Nikita Dragun’s Birthday
    Nolan Ryan’s Birthday
    Mallory James Mahoney’s Birthday
    Justin Timberlake’s Birthday
    Josh Richards’s Birthday
    Jackie Robinson’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances 
     Backwards Day
    Bored with doing the same thing in and out? On January 31, take a break from the rut by doing everything backwards, because it is Backwards Day.

    While it is unclear who created this holiday, it is evident that they wanted it to be a day for celebrators to break all rules and to do things their way.
    A popular fun holiday among school going children, it is also sometimes called National Backwards Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating Backwards Day is easy—do everything backwards or sdrawkcab.
    Wear your outfit backwards and if you can, talk and write backwards. Go to bed in the morning and start working in the evening, have dinner in the morning and breakfast in the evening, and have dessert first during all your meals. Talk to people with your back towards them. Just make sure you let them know you are celebrating Backwards Day, so they don't think you are rude. Say goodbye to people when you meet them, and hello when you depart. Did You Know…
    …that penguins cannot walk backwards?
     
     
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    Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw.

    Noticing my surprise, the coach said, "That record will stand forever."

    I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago."
     
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    A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 a.m. jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

    After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what "runner's euphoria" was. "Runner's euphoria," he explained, "is what I feel at 5:30 on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays."l
     
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    As a high-school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports. A fellow coach, Bob, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night. When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn't home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away.

    "Just calm down, and I'll have him call you as soon as he gets home," the coach's wife told him. "What's your number?"

    The flustered kid replied, "Three."
     
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    I’m driving with this guy, and 
he runs right through a Stop sign. So 
I say, “Hey, that was a Stop sign.”
    And he says, “I drive like my brother!”
    A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say, “You just ran a red light.”
    And he says, “I drive like my brother!”
    So now we’re coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I’m confused, so I say, “It’s green; why are you slowing down?”
    He says, “My brother might be coming.”
     
     
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  24. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 547
    January 30th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast Day: Adelelmus of Burgos Aldegonde Anthony the Great (Coptic Church) Armentarius of Pavia Balthild Charles, King and Martyr (various provinces of the Anglican Communion) Hippolytus of Rome Hyacintha Mariscotti Martina Matthias of Jerusalem Mutien-Marie Wiaux Savina Three Holy Hierarchs (Eastern Orthodox), and its related observances: Teacher's Day (Greece) January 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Azerbaijani customs (Azerbaijan) Day of Saudade (Brazil) Fred Korematsu Day (California, Florida, Hawaii, Virginia) Martyrdom of Mahatma Gandhi, and its related observances: Martyrs' Day (India) School Day of Non-violence and Peace (Spain) Start of the Season for Nonviolence (January 30 – April 4)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Bible Day
    National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
    National Draw A Dinosaur Day
    National Escape Day
    National Inane Answering Message Day
    National Maxwell Day
    Nelson Anniversary Day
    Northland Anniversary Day
    Yodel For Your Neighbors Day
      Phil Lester’s Birthday
    Kirk Frost’s Birthday
    Phil Collins’s Birthday
    Kid Cudi’s Birthday
    Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Birthday
    Christian Bale’s Birthday
    Biggy Norris’s Birthday
    Becky Lynch’s Birthday
      Fun Observances 
     Croissant Day
    On January 30 wake up and head straight to your favorite bakery to get a croissant for your breakfast, because it is Croissant Day.

    The crescent shaped flaky and buttery pastry made by layering and rolling out leavened dough. While it is usually consumed plain, many variations of the pastry exist. In many parts of the world, bakeries bake croissants with chocolate, fruits, meat, vegetables, and cheese. Many people use croissants to make sandwiches. Some popular croissant sandwiches include egg salad sandwich, tuna sandwich, and cheese and ham sandwich.
    Not French
    Contrary to popular belief, croissants are not French in origin. Food historians believe that the Austrian kipferl is the ancestor of the present-day croissant. Legend has it that kipeferl, which is the German word for crescent, was created by some Viennese bakers as a way to celebrate the defeat of Ottoman invaders by the soldiers of Vienna. The bakers according to the story, fashioned their new creation in the form of the crescent they saw on the enemies flag.
    It is thought that the pastry was popularized in France by Marie Antionette, the last queen of France.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have croissants for all your meals. Start with a plain croissant for breakfast, a croissant sandwich for lunch, and end the day with a chocolate or custard-filled croissant. Try making croissants at home from scratch. Don't forget to share with friends, family, and co-workers. Did You Know…
    …that a cronut is both a croissant and a doughnut? The pastry was created by New York Chef Dominique Ansel.
     
     
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    Me: What’s the Wi-Fi password?
    Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
    Me: OK, I’ll have a Coke.
    Bartender: Three dollars.
    Me: There you go. So what’s the Wi‑Fi password?
    Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.” No spaces, all lowercase.
     
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    One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel went down to the local dance hall. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.”
    The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
    The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
    “Pop!” goes the weasel.
     
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    Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in.
    "Howdy, stranger," one Texan says. "Where are you from?"
    The Oxford graduate answers, "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions."
    "Oh, I'm sorry," replies the Texan. "Where are you from, jackass?"
     
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    One of the shortest wills ever written:
    “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.”
     
     
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    Sad Update
    Queen Elizabeth II was the last living head of state to have served in WWII.
     
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  25. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 546
    January 29th 2023 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Gildas Sabinian of Troyes Sulpitius I of Bourges January 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Fat Thursday can fall, while March 4 is the latest; celebrated on Thursday before Ash Wednesday. (Christianity) Kansas Day (Kansas, United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Auckland Anniversary Day
    Curmudgeons Day
    Freethinkers Day
    National Carnation Day
    National Colin Day
    National Corn Chip Day
    RNLI SOS day
    Seeing-Eye Guide Dog Anniversary
    World Leprosy Day
     
    Tom Selleck’s Birthday
    Charlie Wilson’s Birthday
    Oprah Winfrey’s Birthday
    Brian David Gilbert’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances 
     Puzzle Day
    What is 24 hours long, all about solving problems, and is one of the best unofficial holidays of the year? Puzzle Day, of course.

    Celebrated every year on January 29, the holiday honors puzzles of all stripes - jigsaws, riddles, science, math, mechanical, and word puzzles, and of course, real life puzzles.
    Develops Skills
    Puzzles are problems that are difficult to solve or require special skills to resolve. They can take various forms and emphasize different expertise. For example, crosswords, word search, and anagrams put a person's vocabulary and skills with a language to test. Games like Sudoku and Rubik's Cube, on the other hand, test the player's logical thinking and mathematical skills. Jigsaws develop patience and visual skills.
    Beneficial to Health
    In addition to being entertaining and fun, puzzles have distinct health and social benefits, especially in early childhood. Collaborative puzzles help children learn how to work together while learning other spatial, motor, and problem-solving skills. Studies have shown that doing puzzles can help enhance brain activity in adults. It also increases creativity and concentration, and it improves memory.
    Puzzle Day is also known as National Puzzle Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Host a puzzle party and solve puzzles with family and friends. Send out invites in the form of a crossword, decorate the venue with puzzles and serve a Rubik Cube shaped cake. Learn about the history of puzzles and about the science behind creating them. Spend the day solving puzzles of all kinds. Did You Know…
    …that the world’s first crossword was published on December 21, 1913 in the Sunday newspaper, New York World? The puzzle was created by journalist Arthur Wayne.
     
     
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    My doctor took one look at 
my gut and refused to believe that 
I work out.
    So I listed the exercises 
I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, 
push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot 
in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.
     
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    Colonoscopies are important medical procedures that have saved lives. And yet they’re as popular 
as, well, a colonoscopy.
    Here are 
comments purportedly made by 
patients to physicians during their procedures.
    “Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
    “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”
    “Any sign of the trapped miners, chief?”
     
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    Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some blood.
    Patient: But I just received blood yesterday.
    Phlebotomist: You didn’t think you’d get to keep it, did you?
     
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    Three guys are fishing when an angel appears.
    The first guy says, “I’ve suffered from back pain for years. Can you help me?” The angel touches the man’s back, and he feels instant relief.
    The second guy points to 
his thick glasses and begs for 
a cure for his poor eyesight. When the angel tosses the lenses into the lake, the man 
gains 20/20 vision.
    As the angel turns to the third fellow, he instantly recoils and screams, “Don’t touch me! I’m on disability!”
     
    ***
     
    A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her.
    The customer, clearly looking to save a few bucks, said, “The package doesn’t have to get there till Saturday. Is there any way to make that happen?”
    Billy nodded. “Sure. You can bring it back tomorrow.”
     
     
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