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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 24 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 419
    September 24th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Peru) Christian feast day: Anathalon (in Brescia) Antonio Gonzalez Blessed Émilie Gamelin (Canada) Gerard of Csanád Our Lady of Mercy and its related observance: La Mercè (Barcelona) Our Lady of Ransom (Mercedarians) Our Lady of Walsingham (Church of England) Pacificus of San Severino Rupert of Salzburg September 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Constitution Day (Cambodia) Earliest day on which Maple Leaf Day can fall, while September 30 is the latest; celebrated on the last Wednesday in September. (Canada) Heritage Day (South Africa). Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Guinea-Bissau from Portugal in 1973. Mahidol Day (Thailand) New Caledonia Day (New Caledonia) Republic Day (Trinidad and Tobago)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Cherries Jubilee Day
    Ancestors' Day
    Bluebird of Happiness Day
    Family Health & Fitness Day USA
    Fish Amnesty Day
    Innergize Day
    International Lace Day
    International Rabbit Day
    International Rabbit Day
    Lash Stylists’ Day
    National Bunny Day
    National Ghost Hunting Day
    National Horchata Day
    National Hunting and Fishing Day
    National Mofongo Day
    National Public Lands Day
    National Seat Check Saturday
    Pchum Ben
    Save Your Photos Day
    Schwenkfelder Thanksgiving
    World Bollywood Day
    Sierra Furtado’s Birthday
    Kyle Sullivan’s Birthday
    Hannah Brown’s Birthday
    Kandy Ho’s Birthday
    DJ Ghost’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Punctuation Day
    Do you find yourself correcting punctuation while reading a restaurant menu? Do you see red anytime you see an incorrect usage of the apostrophe? Then, Punctuation Day on September 24 is your kind of holiday.

    Punctuation Day is the brainchild of the American professional speaker Jeff Rubin who launched it in 2004, and is also known as National Punctuation Day in the United States. The unofficial holiday aims to spread awareness and educate people on proper punctuation and the virtues of using the appropriate punctuation in any kind of writing.
    Punctuation Conveys Meaning
    Punctuation is the use of typographical signs, spaces and other mutually agreed upon symbols in a language that help the understanding of written text. The main purpose of punctuation is to convey the correct meaning and intent of the text.
    Every language has its own punctuation rules and symbols - what conveys one message in one language can convey another in a different language. For instance, in Greek, the semicolon (;) is used to indicate a question, while in English, it is used to connect two sentences that are close in meaning; or to separate elements in a series, where the series has a comma; and to connect two related sentences.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn more about punctuation and the appropriate ways of using them. If you do any type of writing in your job, spend some time going through your work and make sure your writing has all the appropriate punctuation. Did You Know…
    …that the hashtag or pound sign (#) is also formally known as the octothorpe?
     
    ***
     
    One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?”
    “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.”
     
    ***
     
    We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.”
    With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!”
    Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip.
     
    ***
     
    At an event famous for giving out awards in bizarre categories, the emcee enthusiastically announces, “The next prize will go to the laziest person in the audience. If you think you qualify, raise your hand.” Everyone raises their hands except a middle-aged man who seems to show little interest.
    “Congratulations! You are the winner,” says the emcee to the man. “Your prize is this $100 bill!”
    Still showing no emotion, the man replies, “Would you mind coming over here and putting it in my pocket?”
     
    ***
     
    A child psychologist had twin boys—one was an optimist; the other, a pessimist.
    Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room, he dumped a pile of horse droppings.
    That night, the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts, crying. “What’s wrong?” the father asked.
    “I have a ton of game manuals to read … I need batteries … and my toys will all eventually get broken!” sobbed the pessimist.
    Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of manure. “Why are you so happy?” he asked.
    The optimist shouted, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
     
     
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    (Forrest Gump would of said " Buttocks")
     
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    sandrewn
    Note:
    I Know that in the ' Observances section ' there are two, International Rabbit day entries. Read the explanation for each one and you tell me if there should be just one or the two as listed? Thanks in advance.
  2. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 23 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 418
    September 23rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adomnán Cissa of Crowland (or of Northumbria) Padre Pio Pope Linus Sossius Thecla (Roman Catholic Church) Xanthippe and Polyxena September 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Grito de Lares (Puerto Rico) Holocaust Memorial Day (Lithuania) Kyrgyz Language Day (Kyrgyzstan) National Day (Saudi Arabia) Teachers' Day (Brunei) Celebrate Bisexuality Day (bisexual community) International Day of Sign Languages  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Native American Day
    Za’atar Day
    Hug a Vegetarian Day
    Education Technology Day
    Redhead Appreciation Day
    National Great American Pot Pie Day
    Love Note Day
    Restless Legs Awareness Day
    AFL Grand Final Friday
    American Indian Day
    First Day of Autumn
    Michigan Indian Day
    National AFM Day
    National Apple Cider Vinegar Day
    National Baker Day
    National BRAVE Day
    National Dogs in Politics Day
    National Field Marketer’s Day
    National Go With Your Gut Day
    National Snack Stick Day
    National Temperature Control Day
    Porthcawl Elvis Festival
    Seed Gathering Season
    September Equinox
    Teal Talk Day
    The September Equinox
    Matt Hardy’s Birthday
    Kalani Hilliker’s Birthday
    Jermaine Dupri’s Birthday
    John Coltrane’s Birthday
    J.I.’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Checkers Day
    September 23 is Checkers Day. The unofficial holiday is not about the board game but has a political origin. The holiday commemorates a speech given by American President Richard Nixon on this day in 1952 as a Vice Presidential candidate.

    In the now-famous speech, Nixon denied taking political gifts. It is popularly called the Checkers Speech or the Fund Speech because during the address he announced his intention of keeping Checkers, a dog given to his kids as a gift.
    In addition to helping boost Nixon's political position in the upcoming presidential elections, the 30 minute long Checkers speech marked the beginning of the involvement of the television in American politics. The address was aired live all around the country and was watched by an estimated 60 million people.
    The holiday is also sometimes known as National Dogs in Politics Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wear checkered clothing. Even though the holiday itself doesn't have anything to do with the game, no one will judge you if you decided to observe it by playing a game or two of checkers. Read more about Nixon’s life and his Checkers Speech. If you have children and young adults in your life, Checker's Day is a good day to introduce them to American politics and the role of television in politics around the world. Did You Know…
    …that Richard Nixon was the only president in the history of the United States to have resigned from office?
     
     
    ***
     
    Q: What happens if you play a county song backwards?
    A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
     
    ***
     
    True Stories From Comic History
    1940s "Once in Virginia," said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, "I passed a small church displaying a large sign. It read 'Annual Strawberry Festival' and, below in small letters, 'On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'" --Boston Transcript
    1950s The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, "To stay out of trouble, say 'Yes, sir' all day and 'No, sir' all night." --Anonymous
    1960s A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride. --Raymond Butkus
    1970s A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, "Adam was a rough draft," proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: "Eve was no prime rib." --Phyllis Reely
    1980s While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. "What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend. "Take them off!" she howled. "They make you look ridiculous."--Audrey Kelly
    1990s My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked. The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you." --Christine Probasco
    2000s I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet."
     
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    Can’t believe the National Spelling Bee ended in a tye.
     
     
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    Info & Update on Stubbs The Mayor)
    Since Talkeetna is only a census-designated place, it is unincorporated. Talkeetna has a Community Council and its mayor was a cat named Stubbs from 1997 until his death in 2017. It is located in Matanuska-Susitna Borough's District 7, which is represented by Assembly Member Vern Halter, who succeeded borough mayor Larry DeVilbiss.
      Stubbs, Honorary "Mayor", held office from 1997 to 2017 A popular rumor states Stubbs was elected following a successful write-in campaign by voters who opposed the human candidates. However, according to NPR, the cat could not have been elected as a write-in candidate because "The tiny town has no real mayor, so there was no election." Stubbs' position is honorary as the town is unincorporated. On August 31, 2013, Stubbs was attacked and mauled by a dog while roaming the streets and after treatment at the local veterinarian returned home on September 9. Stubbs died on July 21, 2017, at the age of 20 years and 3 months.
    R.I.P.
    Stubbs
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 22 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 417
    September 22nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    American Business Women's Day (United States) Christian feast days: Candidus Digna and Emerita Emmeram of Regensburg Felix and Constantia Ignatius of Santhià (Lorenzo Maurizio Belvisotti) Laud of Coutances Maurice (Western Christianity) Paul Chong Hasang (one of The Korean Martyrs) Phocas (the Gardener, or of Sinope) Phocas, Bishop of Sinope Sadalberga Saintin (Sanctinus) de Meaux Septimius of Iesi (this date since 1623) Theban Legion Thomas of Villanova Philander Chase (Episcopal Church) September 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest date for the autumnal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere and the vernal equinox in the Southern Hemisphere: Autumnal Equinox Day (Japan) Mabon in the Northern Hemisphere, Ostara in the Southern Hemisphere. (Neopagan Wheel of the Year) The first day of Miķeļi (Latvia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Bulgaria from the Ottoman Empire in 1908. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Mali from France in 1960. Resistance Fighting Day (Estonia)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Business Women’s Day
    World Car Free Day
    Remember Me Thursday
    National White Chocolate Day
    National Ice Cream Cone Day
    Dear Diary Day
    World Rhino Day
    Chainmail Day
    National Elephant Appreciation Day
    Doodle Day
    Fall Equinox
    National Singles Day
    Car-free Sunday
    Falls Prevention Awareness Day
    International Day of Radiant Peace
    National Centenarian's Day
    National Dante Day
    National Girls’ Night In Day
    National Khalid Day
    National Legwear Day
    Tom Felton’s Birthday
    Mystikal’s Birthday
    Moneybagg Yo’s Birthday
    Michael Faraday’s Birthday
    Mark Johnson’s Birthday
    Billie Piper’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Hobbit Day
    Fans of JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings (LOTR) and the Hobbit epic celebrate September 22 as Hobbit Day. The week containing Hobbit Day is also celebrated as Tolkien Week.

    Hobbit Day and Tolkien Week first began in 1978 by the proclamation of the American Tolkien Society, an organization whose goal is to further the study and spread the appreciation of the works of JRR Tolkien and his son, Christopher JR Tolkien.
    Hobbit Birthday
    September 22 is designated as Hobbit Day because it is the birthdate of two of JRR Tolkien's main characters - Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Baggins. Bilbo Baggins, the protagonist of Tolkien’s hugely popular 1937 children's novel, The Hobbit, was born on September 22, Third Age 2890. Frodo Baggins, the central character in the LOTR trilogy, on the other hand, is 78 years younger than Bilbo, having been born in the Third Age year of 2968.
    There is some debate whether Hobbit Day is on September 22 or September 12, as the LOTR and Hobbit calendar does not synchronize with the Gregorian Calendar.
    How to Celebrate?
    Host parties and feasts like the ones held in the books. Don’t wear shoes on this day because the hobbits in the books are always barefooted. Attend marathon viewing sessions of the movie version of the books and participate in Hobbit and LOTR quizzes. If you have young adults in your life, encourage them to read Tolkien’s work. Did You Know…
    …that the Fellowship of the Rings, the first book in the Lord of the Rings series, opens with Bilbo Baggins announcing his eleventy-first birthday?
     
    ***
     
    My wife likes to keep the mystery in our relationship.
    For example, I never know what is going to arrive for her from Amazon today.
     
    ***
     
    {On the phone with my mom}
    Me: What’s your secret to 55 years of marriage?
    Mom: We never hated each other on the same day.
     
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    My husband surprised me with a night out to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. I was reminded of the man I fell in love with.
    We arrived at the theater and learned the movie was playing at a different location a full hour earlier. I was reminded of the man I married.
     
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    The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for steak to cook. —Julia Child
     
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    I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.
     
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    I think the expression “It’s a small world” is really a euphemism for
    “I keep running into people I can’t stand.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 21 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 416
    September 21st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Autumnal equinox observances in the Northern Hemisphere, vernal equinox observances in the Southern Hemisphere (see September 22): Spring Day (Argentina) Christian feast day: Ephigenia of Ethiopia Laurent-Joseph-Marius Imbert (one of the Korean Martyrs) Matthew the Evangelist (Western Church) Nativity of the Theotokos (Eastern Orthodox Church, Julian calendar) September 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Arbor Day (Brazil) Commemoration of the Declaration of Martial Law (Philippines) Customs Service Day (Poland) Founder's Day and National Volunteer Day (Ghana) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Armenia from the Soviet Union in 1991. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Belize from the United Kingdom in 1981. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Malta from the United Kingdom in 1964. International Day of Peace (International) Student's Day (Bolivia) Victory over the Golden Horde in the Battle of Kulikovo (Russia)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Chai Day
    National Pecan Cookie Day
    World Gratitude Day
    Escapology Day
    National Cat & Dog Gut Health Awareness Day
    Mabon Day
    Mid-Autumn Moon Festival
    National Black Women's Equal Pay Day
    National Brittany Day
    National Garage Condo Day
    National Hannah Day
    National Kristina Day
    National Opioid Awareness Day
    National School Backpack Awareness Day
    Telegraph Pole Appreciation Day
    World Alzheimer’s Day
    Stephen King’s Birthday
    Megan Everett’s Birthday
    Elsy Guevara’s Birthday
    Faith Hill’s Birthday
    Bill Murray’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Miniature Golf Day
    On September 21 head on over to your local miniature golf course with your family and friends for a day of fun and adventure, because it is Miniature Golf Day!

    An offshoot of golf, miniature golf is a leisure sport that focuses on putting and includes artificial turf and obstacles.
    It is believed that miniature golf was first invented, sans their characteristic obstacles and windmills, in Scotland in the late 19th century as a way to allow women to golf. Because it was unseemly for women to use a full sized golf club, the Ladies' Putting Club of St. Andrews decided to miniaturize the sport.
    "This'll Do"
    Miniature golf or put put as it is also sometimes called made its commercial debut in the early 20th century in North Carolina under the name of Thistle Dhu. The name was derived from the Scottish pronunciation of the words "this'll do".
    The holiday is also sometimes celebrated on the second Saturday of May.
    How to Celebrate?
    Round up your family and friends and visit your local miniature golf course and play a few rounds of golf. What about having a miniature golf course crawl? Instead of spending the whole day at one course, visit as many miniature golf courses in your area and play a round at each one of them Install a miniature golf course in your backyard. Then, you'll be able to celebrate this fun holiday all year long! Did You Know…
    …that miniature golf is sometimes also known as crazy golf?
     
     
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    Q. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race?
    A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
    ***
    Every morning I think I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.
    ***
    Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
    A. Because chickens didn't exist yet!
    ***
    Q: How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?
    A: You use a pumpkin patch!
    ***
    Q: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
    A: The Dead Sea!
    ***
    As I was treating my daughter and her family to the buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a winning slot machine began to go off. My seven-year-old grandson was awed.
    "Wow!" yelled Casey. "This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people."
     
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    I’m convinced my cockroaches have military training.
    I set out a roach bomb—they defused it.
     
     
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    While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
    When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.
    By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turnaround, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grumpy old man.
    He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive
    The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up for a single minute.
    To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 20 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 415
    September 20th  - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Agapitus (Western Christianity) Eustace (Western Christianity) Evilasius Fausta of Cyzicus Glycerius of Milan Jean-Charles Cornay (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) John Coleridge Patteson (commemoration, Anglicanism) José Maria de Yermo y Parres Korean Martyrs, including Andrew Kim Taegon and Laurent-Marie-Joseph Imbert Theodore, Philippa and companions Vincent Madelgarius (Maelceadar) September 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Nepal) Independence Day of South Ossetia (not fully recognized) National Youth Day (Thailand) Oil Workers' Day (Azerbaijan) Universal Children's Day (Germany)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Fried Rice Day
    National Pepperoni Pizza Day
    National String Cheese Day
    National Queso Day
    Get Ready Day
    International NFT Day
    National Care For Kids Day
    National Crime and Intelligence Analyst Appreciation Day
    National IT Professionals Day
    National Voter Registration Day
    Yung Joc’s Birthday
    Khabib Nurmagomedov’s Birthday
    Jack Hemmings’s Birthday
    Katrina Stuart’s Birthday
    Ellie Louise’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    National Dog Week
    (Mon Sep 20th, 2021 - Tue Sep 27th, 2021)
     
    Fun Observances
    Punch Day
    September 20 is Punch Day. Celebrate this unofficial holiday of unknown origins by drinking a tall glass of this delicious party beverage.

    Typically made by mixing a variety of fruit juices, a punch can be alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Food historians believe that the beverage originated in India - its name comes from the Hindi word paanch meaning five. It is thought that the original punch in India included five ingredients.
    From India
    In the 17th century, the drink made its way to England via those who worked for the British East India Company and then spread all over Europe, soon becoming a popular drink served at parties and family gatherings. While no longer a popular drink, punch is still served occasionally at college parties and large events.
    Punch is served in a large bowl called a punch bowl. In 17th and 18th century Europe, punch bowls were a common household item. Many bowls came with ornate stands and were passed down as heirlooms.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make your favorite punch and share it with family and friends. Experiment with flavors of your punch - try new combinations of alcoholic and non-alcoholic additions to the beverage. Did You Know...
    ...that a similar sounding drink, punsch, is a traditional liqueur in Sweden? Unlike punch, which is a mixture of multiple fruit juices and alcoholic beverages, punsch is made from arak - the fermented sap of coco palm or rice. Arak was brought to Sweden by the Swedish East India Company through Indonesia. Like punch, the name punsch also comes from the Hindi word paanch meaning five.
     
     
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    After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax.
    Enclosed is a check for $150.
    If 
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”
     
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    E-mail Addresses It Would Be Annoying To Give Out Loud
    MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com AAAAAAThatsSixAs@yahoo.com 1OneTheFirstJustTheNumberTheSecondSpelledOut@hotmail.com  
    ***
     
    These words are so joining our vocabulary in 2016!
    Chairdrobe (n.): piling clothes on 
a chair in place of a closet or dresser.
    Epiphanot (n.): an idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect.
    Internest (n.): the cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself while spending long periods of time on the Internet.
    Textpectation (n.): the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to 
a text.
    Unkeyboardinated (adj.): when you’re unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.
     
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    If a company’s most valuable 
resource is its people, how come 
the employees aren’t locked up, 
but the toilet paper is in a 
reinforced steel box with a lock, bolted to the stall?
     
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 19 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 414
    September 19th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alonso de Orozco Mena Emilie de Rodat Goeric of Metz Januarius (Western Christianity) Feast of San Gennaro Our Lady of La Salette Theodore of Tarsus (Anglican Communion, Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodox Church) Trophimus, Sabbatius, and Dorymedon September 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Armed Forces Day (Chile) Day of the First Public Appearance of the Slovak National Council Second day of Fiestas Patrias (Chile) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Saint Kitts and Nevis from the United Kingdom in 1983. International Talk Like a Pirate Day  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    National Butterscotch Pudding Day
    National Meow Like a Pirate Day
    Aortic Dissection Awareness Day
    National Cat DNA Day
    National Jude Day
    National Woman Road Warrior Day
    Respect for the Aged Day
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    International Week of Happiness at Work
    Mon Sep 19th 2022 - Fri Sep 23rd, 2022
     
    Fun Observances
    National Gymnastics Day
    September 19 is National Gymnastics Day, an unofficial celebration of the graceful sport that tests everything from physical strength to agility to balance and coordination.

    National Gymnastics Day was created in 1998 in the United States as a way to promote the sport among young people and to honor the sportspeople, coaches, and clubs who have kept the gymnastic tradition alive and thriving for centuries.
    Originated in Greece
    Gymnastics originated as an activity in ancient Greece. Then, it was a way for people to exercise, stay healthy and remain ready for battle. It wasn't until the late 19th century that it took on a competitive note. In 1881 the Federation of International Gymnastics (FIG) was created in Liège, Belgium. In 1896, men's gymnastics was part of the first modern Olympics held in Athens, Greece. The Amsterdam Olympics in 1928 featured the first female gymnastics events.
    Today, gymnastics is a popular sport around the world with many prestigious competitions and contests held throughout the year.
    How to Celebrate?
    Attend a gymnastic meet or competition in your area and cheer for your favorite gymnast and team. If you have always wanted to learn gymnastics, today is the perfect reason to begin. Find yourself a club or a gym and get started! Encourage the children and young adults in your life to consider gymnastics as a sport to pursue. Who knows, they may soon become Olympic level gymnasts. Know a gymnast? Send them a message or a note letting them know that you are proud of them and their achievements. Did You Know...
    …that Friedrich Ludwig Jahn, a German educator is considered the Father of Gymnastics? He was responsible for promoting some of the most popular gymnastic routines today. These include the parallel bar and the ring.
     
    ***
     
    Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it, you'll die. What is it?
    A: Nothing!
    ***
    Q: I have a head but no body, a heart but no blood. Just leaves and no branches, I grow without wood. What am I?
    A: Lettuce!
    ***
    Q: A man is pushing his car along, and when he comes to a hotel he shouts, "I'm bankrupt!" Why?
    A: He’s playing Monopoly.
    ***
    Q: If a red-house is made of red bricks, has a red wooden door, and a red roof, and a yellow-house is made of yellow bricks, has a yellow wooden door, and a yellow roof, then what is a green-house made of?
    A: Glass.
    ***
     
    “What’s a hipster?” asked my four-year-old cousin.
    “Someone who will wear something just to look different,” I said. “They’ll often buy clothes in thrift shops and wear thick glasses.”
    “Is Grandma a hipster?” he asked.
     
     
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    How grapes are made
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 18 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 413
    September 18th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Constantius (Theban Legion) Edward Bouverie Pusey (Episcopal Church) Eustorgius I Joseph of Cupertino Juan Macias Methodius of Olympus Richardis September 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of National Music (Azerbaijan) Island Language Day (Okinawa Prefecture, Japan) National Day or Dieciocho (Chile) National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day (United States) Navy Day (Croatia) World Water Monitoring Day  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    National Cheeseburger Day
    Wife Appreciation Day
    National First Love Day
    Read An Ebook Day
    National Respect Day
    Hug A Greeting Card Writer Day
    National Day of Civic Hacking
    Chiropractic Founders Day
    Global Company Culture Day
    International Equal Pay Day
    International Red Panda Day
    Locate An Old Friend Day
    National Cartonnage Day
    National Colton Day
    National Report Kickback Fraud Day
    Purple Bra Day
    U.S. Air Force Day
     
    Fun Observances
    Rice Krispie Treat Day
    September 18 is Rice Krispie Treat Day, an unofficial holiday dedicated to the no-bake, quick to make yummy gooey sweet treat.

    Thought to have been invented at the Kellogg Company in the late 1930s, the treats are made of Rice Krispie cereal and melted marshmallows, though sometimes the marshmallows can be substituted with caramel or syrup as the binding agent.
    Rice Bubbles
    Rice Krispies is a popular breakfast cereal made by Kellogs since 1928. While Rice Krispie treats were usually homemade, Kellogs trademarked the brand name Rice Krispie Treats and started selling a pre-packaged version of the treat in 1995.
    Today, any sweet treat that uses Rice Krispies and some form of sweet binding agent is called a rice krispie treat. In Australia and New Zealand, where the cereal is marketed as Rice Bubbles, the sweet treat is called rice bubble slices or rice bubble cakes.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make Rice Krispies treats and share them with your friends and co-workers. Add gourmet twists to the snack by adding nuts, saffron and cardamom. Make your Rice Krispies treats more colorful by crushing some candies or adding some sprinkles to them. Make Rice Krispies pops. Mold the treat into a shape of your choice, insert a stick in the treat and when it hardens, serve as is or decorate with melted sugar, icing or sprinkles. Staying away from sugar? What about making a savory version of the treat? Just substitute the marshmallows with cheese, flour and butter. Did You Know…
    …that rice is the seed of the rice plant?
     
    ***
     
    You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy.  Hard riddles want to trip you up, and this one works by hitting you with details from every angle. The big hint comes at the end with the wind. What does wind threaten most? You have to stretch your brain to come up with a something tiny and unexpected.
    Answer: A candle
     
    ***
     
    Q. A prisoner is forced to go into one of three rooms, but he can choose which room. The first room is ablaze with fire. The second one is rigged with explosives that will go off as soon as he enters. The third contains a pair of lions who haven't eaten in years. Which room should he choose to survive?
    A. The third room—any lions who hadn't eaten in years would be dead!
     
    ***
     
    Q. What five-letter word becomes shorter if you add two letters to it?
    A. "Short" (add +"er")!
     
    ***
     
    Q. A man was driving a truck. His headlights weren't on, and the moon wasn't out. Ahead of him, a woman dressed in all black started crossing the road. Fortunately, the man braked so she could cross. How did he see her?
    A. It was the middle of the day!
     
    ***
     
    I’m thinking of opening a firing range where all the targets are shaped like computers with screens full of pop-up ads.
    Comedian Dan Burt
     
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    An Artist Left A Dress In The Dead Sea For Two Years
     
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    sandrewn
  8. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 17 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 412
    September 17th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Australian Citizenship Day Christian feast day: Albert of Vercelli Ariadne of Phrygia Blessed Cecilia Eusepi Stanislaus Papczyński Hildegard of Bingen Lambert Robert Bellarmine Satyrus of Milan Socrates and Stephen Zygmunt Szczęsny Feliński September 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day, observed on the previous Friday if it falls on a Saturday, the following Monday if on a Sunday; and the beginning of the Constitution Week (United States) Heroes' Day (Angola) Marathwada Liberation Day (Maharashtra) National Unity Day (Belarus) (since 2021) Operation Market Garden Anniversary is still remembered with parachuting and dedications on this day. (Netherlands) Teachers' Day (Honduras) Day of Sofia (Bulgaria)  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    National Dance Day
    National Gymnastics Day
    National Apple Dumpling Day
    International Coastal Cleanup Day
    International Red Panda Day
    National Table Shuffleboard Day
    National Monte Cristo Day
    International Eat An Apple Day
    National Pet Bird Day
    Constitution Day
    Batman Day
    National Pet Carbon Monoxide (CO) Safety Day
    National Professional House Cleaners Day
    National Sew a Jelly Roll Day
    Puppy Mill Awareness Day
    Responsible Dog Ownership Day
    Smithsonian Day
    Time's Up Day
    Usher Syndrome Awareness Day
    World Patient Safety Day
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    International Country Music Day
    Celebrate all things country on September 17 or International Country Music Day. The unofficial holiday was created in 2003 as a way to bring together musicians and fans of the popular music genre, and to increase the number of country music aficionados around the world.

    Country music is a type of music that originated in eastern and southern United States during the 1920s. A combination of several styles, country music grew out of folk music brought to America by European immigrants. Unlike the prevailing European music at that time, however, country music took on a very distinct American flavor when it came to song lyrics. Singers and musicians avoided lyrics about love and romance, and instead sang about the daily life struggles of an ordinary working class person.
    Many Styles
    Stylistically, country music usually includes harmonies that are guided by instruments like the banjo, guitars and the harmonica.
    As country music has evolved over the year, several sub-genres have emerged. Some of these include honky-tonk, bluegrass music, rockabilly, country rock and country pop. Today, country music is some of the most widely heard music in the United States and in many other parts of the world.
    In the U.S., people celebrate National Country Music Day on July 4.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate this musical holiday by listening to all your favorite country music songs. If you have never been introduced to this genre of music, today is the perfect reason to take some time off, put in your ear phones and discover the wonderful, melodious world of country music. Visit a local country music concert or host a country music party at home. Play country music and have your guests come dressed as their favorite country music artist. Did You Know…
    …that Nashville, Tennessee is considered to be the home of country music?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    National CleanUp Day
    The third Saturday in September is National CleanUp Day in the United States.

    National CleanUp Day was created by hiking enthusiasts Steve Jewett and Bill Willoughby in partnership with Clean Trails, a nonprofit that works to keep the outdoors clean. The unofficial holiday raises awareness about cleanliness and reducing litter.
    Cleaning the Outdoors
    The outdoors can bring a lot of joy and peace to those who enjoy hiking, walking, and climbing. Littering and trash, however, can not only ruin the experience, but it can also negatively affect the flora and fauna.
    National CleanUp Day is an attempt to bring together those who love the outdoors and nature to help clean up trails, parks, beaches, and other natural communal spaces. The observance encourages people to make an effort to reduce littering and to recycle so that the nature around us remains clean and devoid of garbage.
    Higher Quality of Life
    The core philosophy of the observance is that our quality of life can be widely impacted by the nature around us—garbage and litter filled natural spaces can negatively impact an individual's well-being as well as the environment.
    How to Celebrate?
    Get together with friends, family, and co-workers to organize a cleaning trip to the closest park, hiking trail, or beach. Raise awareness against littering and throwing garbage in communal spaces through social media and word of mouth. Join a local clean-up crew and help clean up your outdoors. Did You Know…
    …that almost 8 million tons of plastic end up in the oceans each year?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket.
    "Can't find Brillo pads," she wrote. "All they have are Tampax and Kotex."
     
    ***
     
    My mom moved into a new condo, and I went to visit for a couple of days. Searching for a coffee cup one morning, I sighed, "It seems like I'm always looking for something in your kitchen."
    "That's good," Mom said. When I looked confused,
    she explained, "Because when you know where to look, it's time to go home."
     
    ***
     
    Over dinner, I explained the health benefits of a colorful meal to my family.
    "The more colors, the more variety of nutrients," I told them.
    Pointing to our food, I asked, "How many different colors do you see?"

    "Six," volunteered my daughter. "Seven if you count the burned parts."
     
    ***
     
    When my customer ordered 
iced tea, I asked, “Sweetened or 
unsweetened?”
    Her answer: “What’s the difference?”
     
     
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    What happens when you leave a window open on your car
    overnight during a snow blizzard in Reykjavík, Iceland.
     
     

     
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    sandrewn
  9. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 16 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 411
    September 16th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Andrew Kim Taegon (one of The Korean Martyrs) Curcodomus Cyprian (Catholic Church) Edith of Wilton Euphemia Ludmila Ninian Pope Cornelius September 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Cry of Dolores, celebrates the declaration of independence of Mexico from Spain in 1810. See Fiestas Patrias Independence Day (Papua New Guinea), celebrates the independence of Papua New Guinea from Australia in 1975. International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer Malaysian Armed Forces Day (Malaysia) Malaysia Day (Malaysia, Singapore) Martyrs' Day (Libya) National Heroes Day (Saint Kitts and Nevis)  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    World Ozone Day
    International Grenache Day
    National Guacamole Day
    National Stepfamily Day
    National Tradesmen Day
    Teenager Workout Day
    Locate An Old Friend Day
    National Concussion Awareness Day
    4pm Finish Day
    National Cinnamon Raisin Bread Day
    National Working Parents Day
    National Play-Doh Day
    Anne Bradstreet Day
    Barber Day
    Collect Rocks Day
    Mayflower Day
    Mexican Independence Day
    National Choose Your Chocolate Day
    National Concussion Awareness Day
    National POW/MIA Recognition Day
    National Sit With a Stranger Day
    National Stepfamily Day
    National Tattoo Story Day
    National Tradesmen Day
    National Trail of Tears Commemoration Day
    Stay Away From Seattle Day
    Chase Stokes’s Birthday
    Claire Saffitz’s Birthday
    Ian Harding’s Birthday
    Marc Anthony’s Birthday
    Nick Jonas’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Collect Rocks Day
    On September 16 take a walk to the park, the beach, or to the jewelers, and collect some pretty looking rocks. Why, you ask? Because it is Collect Rocks Day.

    While the origins of this obviously made up holiday are unknown, we can safely assume that the day encourages people to learn more about geology. Geology is the study of the Earth, its materials and the processes through which these materials are created.
    Three Major Types
    Rocks are tightly compacted formations of minerals and are found all over the lithosphere, the top solid layer of the Earth. Geologists classify rocks into three major types based on texture, composition, and size. These types are igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rocks. Almost 65% of the Earth is made up of igneous rocks, though over time one type of rock can turn into another due to exposure to the Earth's atmosphere and environmental factors. This transition between different type of rocks is called a rock cycle.
    How to Celebrate?
    Rocks have been an integral part of human activity since antiquity. Some of the earliest weapons and musical instruments were made of rocks. Mining of rocks has made it possible for humans to use metals and other materials for developing technology. Here are some ways you can show your appreciation for rocks and their importance in our daily lives:
    Take a walk and collect different kinds of rocks - who knows you may just find a new fossil hiding in the rocks? Learn more about the different types of rocks so that you can identify the types of rocks you just collected. Not sure what to do with the rocks? What about painting on them and displaying them creatively? If painting is not your thing, but you are still creatively inclined, why not spend the day learning about rock art? Rock art is art made on rock. Ancient humans used it as a way to record significant events and as part of rituals. If there is an archealogical site close to where you live, that features such art, why not take a trip to see it? Did You Know…
    …that petrology is the scientific study of rocks?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Guacamole Day
    September 16 is Guacamole Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates the delicious Mexican side-dish or dip made of avocados.

    Usually eaten as a side-dish, guacamole has been a part of traditional Mexican cuisine since the time of the Aztecs. Today, the dip, whose name comes from an Aztec dialect Nahuatl and means guacamole sauce, is a popular side-dish, salad addition and party dip all around the world.
    Mostly Avocado
    Traditionally, the dish is made by mashing avocados in a mortar and pestle and adding chopped onions, tomatoes, garlic, lemon juice and cumin to it.
    Guacamole is informally called guac in the United States and Canada.
    Healthy Fruit
    Avocados are fruit native to Mexico and Central America and are considered to be a good source for Vitamin K and some types of vitamin B.
    The holiday is also called National Guacamole Day in the U.S.
    How to Celebrate?
    With lots of guacamole, of course! Have guacamole for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Have it with your bacon and eggs for breakfast, use it as a spread for your sandwich at lunch, add it your salad at dinner, or if you are like us eat a bowlful of yummy guacamole by itself! Ever tried to make a sweet guacamole? In Sri Lanka, mashed avocado is mixed with milk and sugar or syrup and eaten as a dessert. Did You Know…
    …that avocados are also known as alligator pear owing to the texture of its skin?
     
     
    ***
     
    My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped from his cage and flown out an open window. Of all the dangers the tame bird would face outdoors alone, she seemed most concerned about what would happen if the bird started talking.
    Confused, my father asked what the parrot could say.
    “Well,” she explained, “he mostly says, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ ”
     
    ***
     
    When my daughter and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip—not enough for even a modest lunch—we decided to feed it to her two cats. She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it.
    Thinking quickly, my daughter then picked up the dish, walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds, then put the fish back down.
    The cats dug right in.  
     
    ***
     
    I worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs and cats while on vacation. One morning I had taken a cat out of his cage, and after playing with him and replenishing his food and water, I put him back in. A few minutes later, I was surprised to see the feline at my feet, since the cage doors lock automatically when they’re shut.
    I couldn’t figure out how the cat escaped, until I bent down to pick him up and spied his nametag:
    “Houdini.”
     
    ***
     
    The only people who don’t click Skip on ads before YouTube videos are people who died during that ad.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  10. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 15 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 410
    September 15th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Battle of Britain Day (United Kingdom) Christian feast day: Joseph Abibos Alpinus (Albinus) of Lyon Aprus (Èvre) of Toul Catherine of Genoa James Chisholm (Episcopal Church) Saint Dominic in Soriano (formerly) Mamilian of Palermo Mirin Nicetas the Goth Nicomedes Our Lady of Sorrows September 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Cry of Dolores, celebrated on the eve of Independence Day (Mexico). Earliest day on which Father's Day can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Sunday in September. (Ukraine) Earliest day on which German-American Steuben Parade can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Saturday in September. (United States, especially New York City) Earliest day on which POW/MIA Recognition Day can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Friday in September. (United States) Earliest day on which Prinsjesdag can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Tuesday in September. (Netherlands) Earliest day on which Respect for the Aged Day can fall, while September 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third Monday in September. (Japan) Engineer's Day (India) Independence Day, celebrates the Act of Independence of Central America from Spain in 1821 of Guatemala (a Patriotic Day), El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica. International Day of Democracy[41] Knowledge Day (Azerbaijan) Restoration of Primorska to the Motherland Day (Slovenia) Silpa Bhirasri Day (Thailand). The beginning of German American Heritage Month, celebrated until October 15[42] The beginning of National Hispanic Heritage Month, celebrated until October 15 (United States) World Lymphoma Awareness Day (International)  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    World Afro Day
    Cheese Toast Day
    Double Cheeseburger Day
    International Dot Day
    Greenpeace Day
    Felt Hat Day
    Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie Day
    International Dot Day
    National Crème de Menthe Day
    Get Ready Day
    National Africa Civility Day
    National Custom Framing Day
    National D.A.R.E. Day
    National Google.com Day
    National Linguine Day
    National Malcolm Day
    National Online Learning Day
    National Pawpaw Day
    National Ruben Day
    National Tackle Kids Cancer Day
    Wales International Film Festival
    World Engineers Day
    Lisa Vanderpump’s Birthday
    Lee Felix’s Birthday
    Jenna Marbles’s Birthday
    Prince Harry’s Birthday
    Sommer Ray’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Make a Hat Day
    On September 15, don your creative hat, gather your craft supplies, channel the secret milliner in your soul and make yourself a hat because it is Make a Hat Day.

    We can all safely assume that the unknown originator of this unofficial holiday aimed to encourage people to look their very best by sporting a hat they made from scratch.
    Throughout history people have used hats to protect themselves from the elements, for religious purposes, and to denote profession, class and status. These days, hats have become fashion accessories, worn by people to reflect their personalities and style.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make hats using a variety of materials – yarn, felt, paper, and cloth. Go crazy embellishing it. Wear a hat that you made to work. Have a hat themed party, and have your guests come dressed in hats they have made, decorate the venue with hats and serve hat shaped cupcakes. Host a hat making party. Gather around with your friends with craft supplies and spend an evening designing and making hats. Hold a hat contest, where everyone makes their own hat and whoever has the best and the most creative hat wins. Did You Know...
    ...that the word milliner, which refers to a person who designs, makes, or sells hats, is named after the Italian city of Milan? Originally the word was used for residents of Milan.
     
    ***
     
    Test Answers From Smart-Alecky Students
    • Q: 
What’s the name of a 
six-sided polygon? A: Sixagon. • Q: 
What part of the body is 
affected by glandular fever? A: The glandular. • Q: 
In The Tempest, why does 
Ariel sing in Gonzalo’s ear? A: 
She’s a mermaid and wants to be human. • Q: 
In comparison with large 
hydrocarbons, how would you describe small hydrocarbons? A: They’re smaller. • Q: 
Who were the Bolsheviks? A: A Russian ballet company.  
    ***
     
    Spotted on Facebook…
    Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did 
I do on my research paper?   Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the 
sentences you apparently 
kidnapped in the dead of night 
and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.  
    ***
     
    I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me. “Hi, Miss Butcher,” I said.
    “Hi, Eddie,” she replied.
    “So you do remember me?” I asked.
    “Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.”
     
    ***
     
    The note left on the office refrigerator was addressed to “The culprit who ate what you thought were two peanut butter ice cream bars.”
    We’ll skip over the details and 
go straight to the signature:
    
“Love, Constipated-Dog Owner.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  11. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 14 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 409
    September 14th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aelia Flaccilla (Eastern Orthodox Church) Cormac mac Cuilennáin (or of Cashel) Crescentius of Rome Feast of the Cross (Christianity) Elevation of the Holy Cross (Eastern Orthodox) Lord of Miracles of Buga Louis Gabriel Taurin Dufresse (one of Martyr Saints of China) Maternus of Cologne Notburga September 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Engineer's Day (Romania) Hindi Day (Hindi-speaking states of India) Mobilized Servicemen Day (Ukraine) San Jacinto Day (Nicaragua)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Cream Filled Donut Day
    NATIONAL EAT A HOAGIE DAY
    Gobstopper Day
    Bubblegum Day
    National Quiet Day
    National Coloring Day
    National Rosa Tequila Day
    National Food Is Medicine Day
    NATIONAL LIVE CREATIVE DAY
    National Noel Day
    National Sober Day
    National Virginia Day
    Shayne Topp’s Birthday
    Nas’s Birthday
    Han Jisung’s Birthday
    Audriana Giudice’s Birthday
    Amy Winehouse’s Birthday
     
     
    ***
     
     

     
    ***
     
    A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
    After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
    “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
    The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     
    The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As I stepped 
forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed.
    Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I 
explained,
    “The last time someone 
gave me wings, I had to jump 
out of the airplane.”
    Col. David Jessop (Ret.),
     
     
    ***
     
     

     
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    Blast from the Past
     

     
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    A tree on fire after a lightning strike
     

     
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    Just a mom carrying her babies
     

     
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    sandrewn
  12. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 13 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 408
    September 13th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Feast of the Cross (Assyrian Church of the East) Aimé (Amatus) Ame Eulogius of Alexandria John Chrysostom Marcellinus of Carthage Maurilius (Maurille) of Angers Nectarius of Autun Venerius the Hermit Wulfthryth (Wilfrida) of Wilton September 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics). Day of the Programmer, during a non-leap year. (International) Día de los Niños Héroes (Mexico) Engineer's Day (Mauritius)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    International Chocolate Day
    National Peanut Day
    National Fortune Cookie Day
    National Celiac Disease Awareness Day
    Supernatural Day
    Uncle Sam Day
    National Defy Superstition Day
    National Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day
    Programmers Day
    European Heritage Days
    National Ants on a Log Day
    National Bald is Beautiful Day
    National Hug Your Boss Day
    National Jose Day
    National Juan Day
    Pet Birth Defect Awareness Day
    Tyler Perry’s Birthday
    Snoh Aalegra’s Birthday
    Niall Horan’s Birthday
    Milton S. Hershey’s Birthday
    Corey Scherer’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Positive Thinking Day
    Is life getting you down? Are you on your way to getting a Ph.D. in complaining? If your answer is a yes, then Positive Thinking Day (PTD) on September 13 is just the holiday you need to celebrate.

    PTD is a day to set aside all negative thoughts and see that the glass is always half full.
    The stresses and struggles of daily life can sometimes fill our heads with pessimistic thoughts. This unofficial holiday promotes the idea that negative thoughts do more harm than good - they drain energy, create more stress and can make one a less likeable person. Nobody wants to spend time with someone who is always negative and pessimistic.
    Lowers Depression
    The holiday, also known as International Positive Thinking Day encourages people to deal with difficult situations in life with optimism and positivity.
    Positive thinking can have many benefits. Studies have shown that positive thinking can reduce stress and the risk of heart diseases, lower depression and increase life span. Some studies have even shown that positive thinking can increase the body's resistance to the common cold.
    How to Celebrate?
    Think positive! If you are having trouble believe that the glass is half full, then have a friend or a loved one reaffirm you. Take or sit in a positive thinking seminar. Sometimes hearing about the benefits of positive thinking from an uninvested party can help. Make a conscious decision not to put yourself down every time you do something wrong. Laugh as much as you can. Laughter can reduce stress and decrease the urge to think negatively. Go out for a comedy show or movie, do a marathon of your favorite comedy TV show or read a comic novel. You will see a marked difference in how you feel after a few laughs. After all, someone wise did once say laughter is the best medicine! Still feeling a bit low? Turn that pity party into an awesome dance party. Studies have shown that physical exercise can help alleviate mood and promotes positive thinking. Do something nice for yourself, a loved one or a stranger - doing good deeds can help increase levels of optimism. Did You Know...
    ...that the term Debbie Downer is the name of a fictional character on the popular American late-night live television sketch comedy show, Saturday Night Live? The always negative character, played by Rachel Dratch made its first appearance in 2004. These days the term is used to call anyone who is always complaining and negative.
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Roald Dahl Day
    September 13 is Roald Dahl Day, a holiday dedicated to one of the world’s greatest storytellers.

    Celebrated every year on the anniversary of his birthday, the unofficial holiday celebrates all the characters created by the much loved and read children’s author whose most popular books included Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda and The Fantastic Mr. Fox.
    While Dahl, considered to be one of the most widely read and influential British writers of all time is primarily known for his fantasy fiction stories for children, he also wrote screenplays for films and television shows, including the screenplay for the popular musical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
    Unique Storyteller
    Dahl, who had Norwegian ancestry and was named after explorer Roald Admundsen, had a unique approach to storytelling. All his books for children were written from the point of a child's imagination and often filled with dark humor.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read or reread some of his more popular works. If you have children, participate in Mischief and Mayhem events organized by your local library or bookstore. If there are none locally, you may even be able to organize one yourself or participate in a virtual event. Watch movies based on his books. Have a Roald Dahl themed party where guests dress up like characters from his books. Did You Know…
    …that Roald Dahl was a fighter pilot during the Second World War?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    While on manoeuvres in the desert, our convoy got lost – forcing our lieutenant to radio for help.
    “Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you?” the base operator asked him.
    “Yes,” said the lieutenant. “We are directly under the moon.”
     
    ***
     
    A friend of mine works at a tattoo parlour. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later the customer called, demanding a refund. “You did my tattoo backwards,” he screamed down the phone.
    “It’s backwards?” my friend said, confused.
    “Yes!” came the angry reply. “I’m looking at it in the mirror right now!”
     
    ***
     
    I was driving home recently when I stopped on impulse at a roadside vegetable stand. It was deserted expect for a sleeping German shepherd. I stepped carefully over the dog, grabbed some veggies, then opened up the cash box to leave some money.
    Taped to the inside of the lid was a note: “The dog can count.”
     
    ***
     
    Famous film quotes get the 
redneck treatment:
    • “You had me at ‘Sooooey!’”
    • “Use the horse, Luke.”
    • “Are you crying? There’s no crying in NASCAR!”
    • “Of all the trailer parks in Pine Cone County, she had to pull her 
’68 Rambler into mine.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  13. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 12 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 407
    September 12th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Ailbe (Elvis, Eilfyw) of Emly Ebontius Guy of Anderlecht The Most Holy Name of the Blessed Virgin Mary John Henry Hobart (Episcopal Church (USA)) Laisrén mac Nad Froích Sacerdos of Lyon September 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration of the mass hanging of the Saint Patrick's Battalion (Mexico) Day of Conception (Russia) Defenders Day (Maryland, United States) Enkutatash falls on this day if it is a leap year. Celebrated on the first day of Mäskäräm. (Ethiopia, Eritrea, Rastafari) Nayrouz (Coptic Orthodox Church) (leap years only, September 11 on normal years) National Day (Cape Verde) National Day of Encouragement (United States) Saragarhi Day (Sikhism) United Nations Day for South-South Cooperation (International)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    National Video Games Day
    National Police Woman Day
    National Boss/Employee Exchange Day
    National Report Medicare Fraud Day
    RM’s Birthday
    Paul Walker’s Birthday
    Jennifer Hudson’s Birthday
    Bizzy Bone’s Birthday
    2 Chainz’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Chocolate Milkshake Day
    September 12 is Chocolate Milkshake Day. So, what are you waiting for? Take out that blender and make yourself a glass of yummy chocolate milkshake.

    Also known as thick shake, a milkshake is a cold beverage made by blending together milk or ice cream with some sweetening agents and flavorings.
    Popular flavors of milkshakes include vanilla, strawberry and of course, chocolate. Chocolate milkshake is made by blending chocolate syrup or cocoa powder with milk or ice cream.
    Fries on the Side
    It is believed that the original milkshakes were alcoholic, though in its present day form milkshakes are generally associated with wholesome family meals. In many parts of the world, burgers, fries and milkshakes are considered to be a good food and beverage pairing.
    In some parts of Boston, a milkshake is also called a frappe.
    How to Celebrate?
    This unofficial holiday is the prefect excuse to indulge in a tall glass of chocolate milkshake. Here are some more ways you can celebrate this delicious holiday:
    Have chocolate milkshake for all your meals. Add healthy chia seeds to your chocolate milkshake for breakfast, and make it extra special for dinner by adding a dash of rum, whiskey or irish cream. Experiment with flavors. Add a bit of orange essence or mint to your chocolate milkshake. Or what about making a oreo or brownie batter chocolate milkshake? Instead of making dark or milk chocolate milkshakes, why not make white chocolate milkshakes? Add a bunch of raspberries or hazelnuts to the shake when blending. Go out to your favorite shake shop for their milkshakes. Many restaurants offer free chocolate shakes on this day. Did You Know...
    …that the popular candy, Milky Way, is actually named after a milkshake? Created in 1923 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, the candy was created to taste like a malted milkshake.
     
    ***
     
    “Do you want to hear a good Batman impression?” asked my friend Dave.
    “Go on then,” I replied.
    “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” he screamed.
    “That’s Superman,” I said.
    “Thanks, I’ve been practising,” he replied.
     
    ***
     
    What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say?
    Wheeeee!
     
    ***
     
    What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost?
    A cocker-poodle boo.
     
    ***
     
    Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees?
    Because they’re really good at it.
     
    ***
     
    When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don 
a costume and act like an ape 
until the zoo can get another one.
    In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then crawls across a partition and atop the 
lion’s cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in character—until he loses his grip and falls into the lion’s cage.
    Terrified, the actor shouts, “Help! Help me!”
    Too late.
    The lion pounces, opens 
its massive jaws, and whispers, “Shut up! Do you want to get 
us both fired?!”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  14. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 11 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 406
    September 11th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Battle of Tendra Day (Russia) Christian feast days: Blessed Francesco Bonifacio Deiniol Felix, Regula, and Exuperantius Harry Burleigh (Episcopal Church) John Gabriel Perboyre (one of Martyr Saints of China) Leudinus (Bobo) Our Lady of Coromoto Paphnutius of Thebes (Roman Catholic Church) Patiens of Lyon Protus and Hyacinth Sperandia Theodora of Alexandria September 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Death Anniversary of Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah (Pakistan) Emergency Number Day (United States) Enkutatash falls on this day if it is not a leap year. Celebrated on the first day of Mäskäräm. (Ethiopia, Eritrea, Rastafari) National Day (Catalonia) Nayrouz (Coptic Orthodox Church), September 12 on leap years. September 11 attacks-related observances (United States)😞 National Day of Service and Remembrance Patriot Day Teachers' Day (Argentina)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
     
    National Hot Cross Bun Day
    National Grandparents Day
    No News is Good News Day
    Day of the Homeland
    IRONMAN Wales
    Libraries Remember Day
    National Pet Memorial Day
    Yukiko Todoroki’s Birthday
    Ludacris’s Birthday
    Taraji P. Henson’s Birthday
    Kygo’s Birthday
    ~~~~~
    Housekeepers Week
    Sun Sep 11th, 2022 - Sat Sep 17th, 2022
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Make Your Bed Day
    When you wake up on September 11, make a point to make your bed because it is Make Your Bed Day!

    This unofficial holiday with unknown origins encourages people to make and tidy up their beds in the mornings.
    Making up the bed or making the bed are expressions used to refer to the act of fixing the bed to look like it hasn't been slept in. This is usually done in the morning.
    Sleep Better
    Studies show that inculcating the habit of making beds every morning can increase productivity during the day and can make people happier. The idea is that the organization that goes into making beds can spill over to the tasks a person does during the rest of the day. The act also gives people some time before they start their day to meditate over about what they want to achieve during the day.
    A clean and made up bed also helps people sleep faster and better.
    How to Celebrate?
    Make your bed – it take a few minutes and keeps your sleeping areas tidy. If you were looking to update your bed and your bed linen, today is the day. Nothing is more fun than making your bed with newly washed, starched and ironed bed linens. Did You Know...
    ...that French king Louis the XIV is thought to have owned 413 beds?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Hug Your Hound Day
    On September 11, give your four-legged best friend a big hug because it is Hug Your Hound Day.

    Created by canine behaviorist Ami Moore, the holiday encourages dog parents and owners to focus on their dogs' health, safety and happiness. The unofficial holiday celebrates the special bond between dogs and their owners.
    The day also aims at creating more a more dog friendly environment in urban areas.
    The holiday is also known as National Hug Your Hound Day in the United States. Another holiday for man's best friend is Dog Appreciation Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take your hound for a long walk or to the dog park to say hello to their friends. Treat them to their favorite treats. And of course, give them a big hug! If you have been thinking of bringing a dog in your life, take this day to visit your local shelter to see if you can adopt a dog. Don't have the time or space to adopt a dog? What about volunteering your time and money to your local dog shelter. Spend the day bringing joy in the lives of dogs who are waiting to be adopted. If you are a business owner, take steps to make your business more dog friendly. Don't have a dog, but love cats? Don't worry, you have a holiday that you can celebrate with your feline friends: Hug Your Cat Day! Did You Know…
    …that pigs and dogs were the earliest domesticated animals in human history?
     
    ***
     
    We were at a red light when a car pulled up, its music blasting.
    “He’ll be deaf before he’s 25,” I said.
    “It won’t help us,” my wife replied. “He’ll only turn it up.”
     
    ***
     
    One hard thing to explain to teens is how legitimately exciting it used to be when someone would wheel in an overhead projector.
     
    ***
     
    While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.
    “It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.
    After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right?
    T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”
     
    ***
     
    On Facebook, the English 
language has few friends. 
Three examples:
    Post: I can’t stand people 
that don’t know the difference between your and you’re. There so dumb.
    Response: Their, their, calm down.
     
    Post: Is it me or does nobody have manors these days?
    Response: I just have a normal house.
     
    Post: I do not have patients for stupid today.
    Response: Patience.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 10 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 405
    September 10th - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Amerindian Heritage Day (Guyana) Children's Day (Honduras) Christian feast day: Alexander Crummell (Episcopal Church) Aubert Blessed Thomas Tsugi, Charles Spinola, and Great Martyrs of Nagasaki Edmund James Peck (Anglican Church of Canada) Nicholas of Tolentino Theodard of Maastricht September 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Gibraltar National Day Saint George's Caye Day (Belize) Teachers' Day (China) World Suicide Prevention Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    TV Dinner Day
    National Day of Civic Hacking
    German Language Day
    International Drive Your Studebaker Day
    Carl Garner Federal Lands Cleanup Day
    Farmers' Consumer Awareness Day
    Free Dentistry Day
    Harvest Moon Festival
    Mid-Autumn Festival
    National Anti-Junk Light Day
    Pitru Paksha
    Top Up Day
    White Balloon Day
    Stella Bennett’s Birthday
    PaintingRainbows’s Birthday
    Mikey Way’s Birthday
    Jack Gilinsky’s Birthday
    Big Daddy Kane’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Swap Ideas Day
    September 10 is Swap Ideas Day. It is a day to share thoughts, barter goods, exchange ideas, trade opinions and discuss viewpoints with family members, friends, co-workers and strangers.

    This unofficial holiday is a celebration of the collaborative spirit. It promotes the notion that knowledge grows best when shared and that best ideas come about through teamwork. After all, two (or more) heads are better than one!
    The day is also known in the United States as National Swap Ideas Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a million dollar idea? Get together with a trusted family member, friend and co-worker and talk to them about what you have in mind. Who knows, they may come up with something that may make your plan better and easy to implement? Is there a problem that is bothering you? Exchange ideas with someone to figure out a solution to your quandary. And remember, you don't have to swap serious ideas on Swap Ideas Day. Have some fun with what you swap. For example, what about exchanging knitting or sewing patterns with fellow artists or swapping recipes or food items with other cooks? Love reading? Have a friend lend you their favorite book and loan your favorite author's book to them in return. Host a favorite things party. Ask everyone to bring their favorite thing for all the other guests. The favorite thing could be a tube of toothpaste, a bottle of some beverage or a pen. Make sure to set a maximum budget. During the course of the party, swap everyone's favorite thing with each other. By the end of the party, you may just go back home with some more new favorite things! Host a book swap meet. Ask everyone to bring a book or two that they no longer want to hold on to, pile the books on a table and let people choose a book to take back home. Attend a swap meet. A swap meet is a type of market where people barter products and merchandise. Did You Know…
    …that the use of the word swap originated in the 13th century? Then swap was used to refer to the sound of hitting. In the 16th century, the word came about to mean exchange, because people used to hit their hands together to indicate that they had come to an agreement.
     
    ***
     
    My nine-year-old and I passed a store with a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed – $5.”
    He seemed confused: “Who would pay to watch batteries installed?”
    ***
    Heavy snow had buried my van in our driveway. My husband dug around the wheels, rocked the van back and forth, and finally pushed me free.
    I was on the road when I heard an odd noise. I got on the phone and called home. “Thank goodness you answered,” I said when my husband picked up. “There’s an alarming sound coming from under the van. For a moment I thought I was dragging you down the highway!”
    “And you didn’t stop?”
    ***
    “Those frames are so flattering,” I assured my sister. She’d just gotten new glasses after 25 years and wasn’t happy with them.
    “They’re OK,” she said, staring gloomily at herself in the mirror.
    “Can you see better?”
    “Yeah, I can see better.”
    “So what’s wrong?”
    “Well, for one thing,” she said, “I thought I was still cute.”
    ***
    My grandpa is definitely a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy. Once, while getting dinner ready, I asked him how he liked his vegetables prepared. He said, “Fed to a cow, so they’ll turn into steak.”
    ***
    A Sale-A-Day Keeps Quality at Bay
    I think I’ve finally decoded the 
language of sale-a-day websites: Statement jewelry = large and ugly Lots of personality = odd and ugly Cutting-edge = disturbing and ugly  
    ***
     

     
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    sandewn
  16. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 09 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 404
    September 9th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Charles Lowder (Church of England) Ciarán of Clonmacnoise Constance, Nun, and her Companions (Episcopal Church) Our Lady of Arantzazu (Oñati) Peter Claver Synaxis of Ss. Joachim and Anna, an Afterfeast. (Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Churches) September 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Armored Forces Day (Ukraine) California Admission Day (California, United States) Children's Day (Costa Rica) Chrysanthemum Day or Kiku no Sekku (Japan) Day of the Victims of Holocaust and of Racial Violence (Slovakia) Emergency Services Day (United Kingdom) Independence Day or Republic Day, celebrates the proclamation of Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea) in 1948. Independence Day (Tajikistan), celebrates the independence of Tajikistan from USSR in 1991. Martyrs' Day (Afghanistan) (date may fall on September 8, follows a non-Gregorian calendar, see List of observances set by the Solar Hijri calendar) Remembrance for Herman the Cheruscan (The Troth)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Wienerschnitzel Day
    Wonderful Weirdos Day
    Steak Au Poivre Day
    Stand Up to Cancer Day
    International Sudoku Day
    Care Bears Share Your Care Day
    Emergency Services Day
    International Box Wine Day
    International Day to Protect Education from Attack
    International Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Awareness Day
    National 401(k) Day
    National When Pigs Fly Day
    Colonel Sanders’s Birthday
    William Papa’s Birthday
    Eboni K. Williams’s Birthday
    Cameron Herrin’s Birthday
    Adam Sandler’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Teddy Bear Day
    September 9 is Teddy Bear Day, a day to bring out all your teddy bears and thank them for their company, the fun times you have had with them, and for all the days and nights they comforted you.

    Also, don't forget to give your teddy a big hug and apologize for all the rough housing your poor teddy bear may have had to go through in your childhood.
    Teddy Roosevelt
    Thought to have been created in the early 20th century, this iconic toy owes its name to American President Theodore Roosevelt, who was lovingly called Teddy by his family and friends.
    The story of why the toy came to be named after him dates back to a hunting trip in 1902 when Roosevelt refused to shoot an injured bear. Rumor has it that in response, Morris Michtom, a candy store owner in New York displayed two stuffed bears made by his wife in his display window and called them Teddy's bear.
    Children's Books Heros
    Today teddy bears are a popular toy for children of all ages. The stuffed toy has also become a part of children's literature and movies and popular culture. Some famous teddy bears include Paddington Bear, Winnie-the-Pooh, Corduroy, the Berenstain Bear family and Fozzie Bear.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have toys from your childhood stored away in the attic or the garage, today is the day to take out all your teddy bears and show them some love. If you are looking to make space, why not take them to a local charity shop where they can be cleaned and given to children who need them? If you have children in your life, surprise them with their own teddy bear to cuddle with. Watch TV shows and movies that feature a teddy bear. Learn about the habitat and life of bears. Did You Know…
    …that the collective noun for bears is sleuth?
    A group of bears is called a sleuth or a sloth. In the same way that the word “long” becomes “length” or the word “moon” becomes month, the old-fashioned –th added to an adjective form a noun. Sloth or sleuth originates from the adjective slow, and although bears are not particularly known for being the slowest animals, it could have originated from their habit of hibernation or from their habit of appearing like they are constantly in search of something – hence the word sleuth, which also means detective. A group of bear cubs is called a litter.
     
    ***
     
     
    Feeling sick, my sister grabbed the thermometer from the medicine cabinet and popped it into her mouth.
    “Uh, Julie, that’s the dog’s thermometer,” said my mother.
    Julie spit it out. “Ewww, was that in Fitzie’s mouth?!”
    Mum hesitated before replying, “Not exactly.”
     
    ***
     
    I was really pleased with my purchase of a new pair of shoes from a major retailer. About a week later, on a rainy day, I was in a rush and quickly grabbed my shoes from the rack and made my way into town. To my horror, I felt a wet sensation inside my right shoe – it was leaking.
    I returned to the shop to complain about the leaking right shoe. At customer service, the assistant looked at both shoes and said, “Yes, sir, you’re correct – the right shoe leaks, but unfortunately only the left shoe was bought from this store.”
    My apology was as swift as my departure.
     
    ***
     
    A vacuum cleaner salesman knocks on the door of an old lady’s house. The lady takes one look at him and says, “You are wasting your time, I have no money,” and tries to close the door.
    Quick as a flash the salesman jams his foot in the door. He then tips a big pile of horse manure on her carpet and says “If I don’t clean all this up, I’ll eat the rest.”
    The old lady says “Fine. But my power was cut off this morning, so let me get you a fork.”
     
    ***
     
    While at a convention, Bill, Jim and Scott shared a hotel suite on the 75th floor. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to find that the hotel elevators were broken and that they’d have to take the stairs all the way up to their room.
    “I have a way to break the monotony,” said Bill. “I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.”
    As they started climbing, Bill told his first joke. At the 26th floor, Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, it was Scott’s turn.
    “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “Once there was a man who left the room key in the car.”
     
    ***
     
    Hear about the statistician 
who drowned crossing a river?
    It 
was three feet deep on average.
     
     
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    sandrewn
  17. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 08 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 403
    September 8th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast Day: Adrian and Natalia of Nicomedia (Roman Catholic Church) Corbinian Disibod Nativity of Mary (Roman Catholic Church), (Anglo-Catholicism) Monti Fest (Mangalorean Catholic) Our Lady of Charity Our Lady of Covadonga Our Lady of Good Health of Vailankanni Pope Sergius I September 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Feast Day of Our Lady of Meritxell (national holiday in Andorra) Day of the Battle of Borodino (Russia) Feast of 'Izzat – First day of the tenth month of the Baháʼí calendar. (Baháʼí Faith) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Macedonia from Yugoslavia in 1991. International Literacy Day (International) Martyrs' Day (Afghanistan) (date may fall on September 9, follows a non-Gregorian calendar) National Day, also the feast of Our Lady of Meritxell (Andorra) Victory Day (Pakistan) Victory Day, also the feast of Our Lady of Victories or il-Vittorja (Malta) World Physical Therapy Day  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Star Trek Day
    Quiet Day
    Iguana Awareness Day
    Actors’ Day
    Are You Okay Day
    National Ampersand Day
    National David Day
    National Dog Walker Appreciation Day
    National Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day
    National School Pictures Day
    Native Women's Equal Pay Day
    Wiz Khalifa’s Birthday
    Ruby Bridges’s Birthday
    Moe Assad’s Birthday
    Jonah Michael Scott’s Birthday
    Avicii’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Pardon Day
    September 8 is Pardon Day, a day to seek and give forgiveness. On Pardon Day put aside all your grudges, be kind to everyone and forgive those who may have hurt you.

    It is thought that the day owes its existence to the pardon granted by United States President Gerald Ford to former President Nixon for his involvement in the Watergate Scandal on September 8, 1974.
    Giving Pardon
    While the word pardon can be commonly used as a synonym of forgiveness, the word has a very specific legal implication. It is used to refer to an official or legal act that releases an individual or a group from the punishment for a crime. In its legal form a pardon is usually given by the head of a government, state or a religious authority. In many countries the rules of a pardon are coded in law or in the constitution.
    Forgive and Be Happy
    Forgiveness is the deliberate act of giving up on feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person, group, or institution that may have wronged you. Most religions and cultures hold forgiveness as one of the key elements of living a good, honest and pure life. Scientific studies have shown that practicing forgiveness can improve the physical and mental health of the forgiver. People who forgive those who have hurt them tend to live happier and healthier lives.
    This unofficial holiday is also known as International Pardon Day or National Pardon Day in the U.S.
    How to Celebrate?
    There is nothing wrong in saying sorry, so if you have someone you think you have hurt, tell them that you are sorry. Write a nice note or meet them for coffee. If someone comes to you to apologize for something they have done, be gracious and forgive them. Did You Know...
    ...that the word pardon comes from the Latin perdonare meaning to grant freely?
     
    ***
     
    An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives who’d used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed their trip.
    Letters are still pouring in asking, “What trip?”
     
    ***
     
    A man sat on a train, chewing gum and staring vacantly across the aisle. Eventually, an old woman sitting opposite him leaned across the gap separating them.
    “It’s no good you speaking to me, young man,” she bellowed. “I went deaf years ago!”
     
    ***
     
    When the coffeemaker went on the fritz, I joked that maybe it was the fault of the cockroaches. Our office manager was not amused.
    “We don’t have cockroaches,” she said, putting me straight.
    “What about all the roach traps?” I asked, pointing to one.
    “A lot you know – those aren’t roach traps,” she sniffed. “They’re mousetraps.”
     
    ***
     
    We took our two teenage sons to a restaurant that was packed with fans watching a sporting event on TV. The harassed waitress took our order, but 30 minutes later there was no sign of our food. I was trying to keep my boys occupied when suddenly shouts of victory erupted from the bar.
    “You hear that?” said my 13-year-old. “Someone just got their food.”
     
    ***
     
    BYOP
    My mother was standing on 
the bus when she noticed that a 
man holding on to the same pole 
was staring at her.
    Finally, he said, “Excuse me. This is my stop.”
    “Well,” she said, “go ahead.”
    “This is my pole,” he said.
    My mother was confused until he added, “I just bought it at a store to hold up my shower curtain.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  18. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 07 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 402
    September 7th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Air Force Day (Pakistan) Christian feast day: Anastasius the Fuller Clodoald Gratus of Aosta Stephen Pongracz Marko Krizin Regina September 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Fiji) Independence Day (Brazil), celebrates the independence of Brazil from Portugal in 1822. Military Intelligence Day (Ukraine) National Threatened Species Day (Australia) Victory Day (Mozambique)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    World Duchenne Awareness Day
    Beer Lover’s Day
    Superhuman Day
    Buy a Book Day
    Acorn Squash Day
    Global Talent Acquisition Day
    Fluidra International Pool Pro Day
    Google Commemoration Day
    Grandma Moses Day
    Indigenous Literacy Day
    International Day of Clean Air
    International Day of Clean Air for Blue Skies
    National Feel the Love Day
    National First Day of Peel Season
    National Grateful Patient Day
    National Neither Snow Nor Rain Day
    National New Hampshire Day
    National Tatiana Day
    Onam
    Texas Energy Savings Day
    Ruth Righi’s Birthday
    Ivan Cervantes’s Birthday
    Eazy-E’s Birthday
    Buddy Holly’s Birthday
    Hulk the Dog’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Salami Day
    September 7 is Salami Day, a annual holiday that honors the delicious and spicy cured Italian sausage that is a perfect wine and cheese accompaniment.

    Typically made out of fermented and air dried meat, the salami is plural of the Italian word salame and originates from the Italian word for salt. Salami is traditionally made from beef or pork which is mixed with spices like pepper, garlic and wine, though many regional variations exist.
    Popular Sausage
    The more popular kinds of salami include pepperoni, chorizo and soppressata.
    The first Salami Day was held in 2006 in Henrico, Virginia, and was organized by the Salami Appreciation Society. Salami Day is also called National Salami Day in the United States
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat salami as it is, or pair with some crackers, cheese and wine. Learn how to make your own salami. Did You Know...
    ...that the salami is cased in animal intestines, usually the same animal from which the meat comes from.
     
    ***
     
    A police officer stopped at a farm and told the old farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.”

    The farmer said, “OK – as long as you don’t go in that field over there.”

    The policeman sneered nastily. “I think you’ll find, sir, that I have the authority of the police force behind me.” He pulled out his badge. “See this? It means I’m allowed to go wherever I want. No questions asked, no answers given. I’m in charge. Understand, old man?”

    The farmer nodded politely and went about his chores. A short time later, he heard loud screams. He looked up to see the policeman running for his life, pursued by the farmer’s massive bull. With every step, the beast was gaining ground. The policeman looked terrified.

    The farmer threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted at the top of his lungs, “Your badge – show him your badge!”
     
    ***
     
    I recently took my wife on holidays to the north of England, and since our son was to join us for a few days, I texted him to bring fuel for the fire as it had turned decidedly chilly.
    A few days into our stay, we received news that an elderly relative had died, so I texted our son with the funeral arrangements. Although the two messages were sent days apart, patchy phone reception in that remote part of the country meant they reached him almost simultaneously – and in reverse order.
    They read: “Uncle’s funeral at crematorium 11:30 on Saturday… Bring logs for the fire.”
     
    ***
     
    God said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. Of course I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
    The biker thought about if for a long time. Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how a woman feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
    God replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
     
    ***
     
    Pop Vs. Pup
    While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”  
     
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    sandrewn
  19. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 06 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 401
    September 6th  2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast days: Begga Chagnoald Faustus, Abibus and Dionysius of Alexandria Gondulphus of Metz Magnus of Füssen Onesiphorus Zechariah (Hebrew prophet) (Catholic church) September 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The earliest date on which the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance is performed Armed Forces Day (São Tomé and Príncipe) Defence Day or Army Day (Pakistan) Flag Day (Bonaire) Independence Day (Swaziland), celebrates the independence of Eswatini from the United Kingdom in 1968 Unification Day (Bulgaria)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Coffee Ice Cream Day
    National Another Look Unlimited Day
    Telephone Tuesday
    Great Egg Toss Day
    National Sabrina Day
    Roger Waters’s Birthday
    Katy Hearn’s Birthday
    Jane Addams’s Birthday
    Gabriela Gonzalez’s Birthday
    Bertie Carvel’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Fight Procrastination Day
    September 6 is Fight Procrastination Day. It is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to take charge of their procrastination problem and to find ways to combat the never-ending urge to put off important tasks for another day.

    Every once in a while we come across a task we rather not do. It could be something as simple as cleaning up our desk or ordering a birthday present or as complex as writing a paper for class or finish cleaning out the garage. When it comes to daunting, boring or important tasks we have all procrastinated by doing something else.
    Perfectionists
    Procrastination does not always have disastrous consequences. Most people who procrastinate tend to finish the task at hand at the last moment. Some psychologists believe that sometimes procrastination can be a sign of a perfectionist personality.
    Sometimes however procrastination can become a problem. Studies have shown that habitual procrastination increases stress and anxiety, reduces productivity and can have a negative impact on a person's job performance.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you find yourself to be a habitual procrastinator, here are some ways you can fight the impulse to put things off on Fight Procrastination Day:
    Get to your to-do list now and start crossing off tasks. Learn ways to fight your procrastinating tendencies. Perhaps ask a friend to monitor your progress? Reward yourself for tasks completed on time. Did You Know...
    ...that procrastibaking is the act of using baking as a procrastination device?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Read a Book Day
    On September 6, pour yourself a cup of tea, find a cozy spot and curl up with a good book because it is Read A Book Day!

    Possibly created by a bibliophile, the unofficial holiday encourages people to pick up a book and immerse themselves in it.
    Lowers Stress
    Research has shown that reading can have several health and social benefits. Frequent readers tend to have lower stress levels than non-readers. In addition, reading can stimulate brain activity and improve memory. Socially, reading can reap a lot of benefits - well-read people tend to be more empathetic and aware of societal ills and differences.
    Reading can also improve critical thinking and comprehension skills and can make people better writers.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wether you are a fan of fiction, non-fiction, science fiction, history, medical literature, short stories or any of the hundreds of genre of literature out there, here are some ways you can celebrate Read a Book Day:
    Read that book you have always been meaning to pick up and read. Revisit your favorite book and read it again. Join a local book club so that you have more motivation to read. If you are already a part of a book club, what about organizing a book party for them? Invite all the book club members and discuss a book while enjoying dishes inspired by your favorite books. Learn more about the life and work of your favorite author. Visit your local library, and if you are not already a member, become one. Support your local library or any reading initiatives that exist in your neighborhood by volunteering your time, money or expertise. Did You Know...
    ...that the Japanese word tsundoku refers to the act of piling up books without reading them? We have all been guilty one time or the other of buying multiple books and letting them pile without ever getting around to reading them.
     
    ***
     
    Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
    If you’d like to lose half a kilo right now, press “one” 18,000 times.
    ***
    After a check-up, a doctor asked his patient, “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”
    “Well,” said the patient, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.”
    “That’s a big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?”
    “Yes, we took a vote … and they’re in favour of it 15 to 2.”
    ***
    A little boy in my infant class came into school and told me he could spell his mum’s name.
    “M-U-M,” he said proudly.
    Before I could congratulate him, another little boy said excitedly,
    “That’s how you spell my mum’s name too!”
    ***
    My husband was a tour guide for a 16th-century castle just near Leuchars airfield in Fife, Scotland. One day, while speaking to a group of American tourists, a jet plane flew overhead.
    The noise was very loud and prompted one of the party to comment that he couldn’t understand why the castle had been built so near an airfield!
     
    ***
     
    Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
    When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way.
    “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked. “Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
    “No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  20. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 05 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 400
    September 5th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Bertin Charbel (martyr) Genebald Gregorio Aglipay (Episcopal Church) Mother Teresa Ursicinus of Ravenna Zechariah and Elisabeth (Anglican and Eastern Orthodox Church) September 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest date on which Jeûne genevois can fall, while September 11 is the latest; celebrated on Thursday after the first Sunday of September. (Canton of Geneva) International Day of Charity[10] Teacher's Day (India) The flag-flying day for Denmark's deployed personnel (Denmark)[11] First day of school in Vietnam  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    World Samosa Day
    Pet Rock Day
    Mouthguard Day
    Labor Day
    National Cellulite Day
    National Child Protection Week
    National Shrink Day
    West Indian Day Parade
    Rose McGowan’s Birthday
    KellyP’s Birthday
    Claudette Colvin’s Birthday
    Bob Newhart’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Be Late for Something Day
    We would normally not encourage you to do this on any other day, but Be Late For Something Day on September 5 is the perfect excuse for you to be late.

    It is believed that Be Late For Something Day was created by the Procrastinators' Club of America, an organization as a way to allow people to take a break from their busy daily schedules.
    Don't Rush
    In today's world, most people spend their lives rushing and hurrying, always fighting against the clock. This unofficial holiday asks people to slow down; take a breath and savor the world around them; and enjoy the small pleasures of life. Stop and smell the roses, if you will.
    Be Late For Something Day is also known as National Be Late For Something Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Be late to something on purpose. But be considerate to the people who are waiting for you - call them ahead and let them know you are running late. Did You Know…
    …that the use of the term, late, to refer to a deceased person, dates back to the late 15th century?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Cheese Pizza Day
    September 5 is Cheese Pizza Day, a day to indulge in a slice (or two) of the classic and simple cheese pizza.

    While the origins of this fun food holiday are unknown, we can all safely assume that it encourages people to pay homage to the humble but delicious pizza pie covered with only tomato sauce, seasonings and cheese.
    Hearty Italian Dish
    Italian in origin, a pizza is a hearty dish made of rolled out dough topped with tomato, cheese, vegetables or meats, which is baked in an oven before being served. It is believed that the pizza as we know it today originated in Naples, Italy. A Traditional Speciality Guaranteed product in Europe, the Neapolitan pizza is made with tomatoes and Mozzarella cheese. This means that only pizzas made in Naples can be called Neapolitan pizza in the European Union and the rest of Europe.
    Fit for a Queen
    Legend has it that a variant of Neapolitan pizza, the Margherita, was created by pizza maker Raffaele Esposito in 1889 to honour the Queen consort of Italy, Margherita of Savoy. The pizza represented the national colors of the flag of Italy with the use of tomato, mozzarella and basil.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrating Cheese Pizza Day, which is also sometimes known as National Cheese Pizza Day in the United States, is easy. Here are some ways to celebrate this delicious holiday:
    Make your own cheese pizza at home from scratch. Experiment with different types of cheese. Perhaps you could try replacing the mozzarella with blue cheese, brie or some creamy goat cheese? Have cheese pizza for all your meals. Start with a breakfast pizza, with feta cheese, bacon and eggs. Have a classic cheese pizza for lunch, and a gourmet cheese pizza with your favorite meat and vegetable toppings for dinner. End the day with a dessert pizza - pizza with cream cheese, chocolate and berries. Visit your favorite pizza place and treat yourself to a slice or two of their cheese pizza. Did You Know…
    ...that tomato wasn’t a staple addition to the pizza until the 1700s? Tomatoes only became popular with pizza lovers in Italy in the 1900s. Before that, they were thought to be poisonous and unfit for consumption.
     
    ***
     
    A university football coach called out the new member saying, “Look, I’m not supposed to have you on this team because you failed your maths exams but we really do need you to play for us. What I’ll do is ask you one simple maths question and if you answer it correctly I’ll sign a slip to say that you’ve passed maths, OK?’
    The player nodded.
    “Right” said the coach: “What’s four plus four?”
    The player wrinkled his forehead and thought for a while, then replied, “Eight!”
    Immediately all the other team members shouted,” Aw, come on coach. Give him another chance!”
     
    ***
     
    William came home from the doctor looking very worried. “What is it? asked his wife. “What’s the problem?”
    “Well, the doctor told me I have to take one of these pills every day for the rest of my life,” explained William.
    “So what?” his wife replied. “Lots of people have to do that.”
    “I know. But he only gave me four pills.”
     
    ***
     
    A woman is feeling unwell, so she goes to her GP. He immediately spots the problem and says to her, “Take this red pill after breakfast with a glass of water.”
    “OK.”
    “Take this blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.”
    “Ok.”
    “And take this yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.”
    “Good heavens,” says the woman, “whatever is the matter with me?”
    “You don’t drink enough water.”
     
    ***
     
    Right to Ignore
    Being president is like 
running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening.  
     
     
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    Sharks are so being misunderstood
     
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    sandrewn
  21. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 04 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 399
    September 4th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Candida the Elder Blessed Catherine of Racconigi Blessed Dina Bélanger Hermione of Ephesus Ida of Herzfeld Irmgardis (of Süchteln) Moses and Aaron (Lutheran Church and Eastern Orthodox Church) Paul Jones (Episcopal Church) Rosalia Rose of Viterbo Rufinus, Silvanus, and Vitalicus Thamel and companions Ultan of Ardbraccan September 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Immigrant's Day (Argentina) Newspaper Carrier Day (United States) Toothfish Day (South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Wildlife Day
    Macadamia Nut Day
    Turkey Vulture Day
    Beard Day
    National Pet Rock Day
    National Newspaper Carrier Day
    Umhlanga reed dance Day
    Xavier Woods’s Birthday
    Josh Zerker’s Birthday
    Jasmine Sandlas’s Birthday
    Devyn Winkler’s Birthday
    Beyoncé’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Eat an Extra Dessert Day
    September 4 is Eat an Extra Dessert Day, a day that encourages people to treat their sweet tooth with a second (or well, even a third) helping of dessert.

    It is unclear who created this awesome but unofficial holiday, but we think that whoever it was, deserves a big slice of cake after a huge bowl of ice cream!
    Ends the Meal
    Desserts are usually a sweet course served after the end of a meal. While in the past typically this meal took place at the end of the day, in modern times desserts can accompany a mid-day meal as well. Desserts are also known as sweets in many parts of the world.
    This sweet holiday is also called National Eat an Extra Dessert Day in the in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Guiltlessly indulge yourself in a little extra dessert on this day and inform everyone you know about this happy holiday. We are convinced that it will soon become everyone's favorite made-up holiday! Spend some time in the kitchen whipping up some delicious desserts to share with your friends, family and co-workers. Have a dessert party! Ask guests to bring their favorite dessert to share and spend the evening enjoying the desserts. Make sure you are all equipped with healthy food for the sugar crash afterwards! Did You Know…
    …that the word dessert comes from the French word desservir, which means to clear the table?
     
    ***
     
    The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?”
    The guy answers, “A scotch, please.”
     
    The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be $10,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”
     
    A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”
     
    The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”
     
    The next day, the same guy walks into the bar. The bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”
     
    The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!”
    The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.”
     
    To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”
     
    ***
     
    Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
    She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.
    “That’s so clever,” the woman gasps. “How did you do it?”
    “Easy,” replies the man. “These are khakis”.
     
    ***
     
    An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my garden one afternoon. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he was well looked after. I gave him a few pats on the head and he followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door and I let him out.
    The next day he was back. He resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued for several weeks.
    Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “I’d like to find out who the owner of this wonderful dog is, and ask if you’re aware that almost every afternoon he comes to my house for a nap.”
    The next day he arrived for his nap with a different note pinned to his collar.
    “He lives in a home with six children,” it read. “Two are under the age of three and he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”
     
    ***
     
    An Elevator Romance
    I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in with a phone pressed to her ear.   “I have to go,” she told the person on the other end. “There’s 
a cute guy standing here.”   Before 
I could react, she turned to me and said, “Sorry for lying. I just wanted to end that conversation.”  
     
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    sandrewn
  22. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 03 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 398
    September 3rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Mansuetus of Toul Marinus Pope Gregory I Remaclus Prudence Crandall (Episcopal Church (USA)) September 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) China's victory over Japan commemoration related observances: Armed Forces Day (Republic of China) V-J Day (People's Republic of China) Feast of San Marino and the Republic, celebrates the foundation of the Republic of San Marino in 301. Flag Day (Australia) Independence Day, celebrates the second independence of Qatar from the United Kingdom in 1971. Levy Mwanawasa Day (Zambia) Memorial Day (Tunisia) Merchant Navy Remembrance Day (Canada) Merchant Navy Day (United Kingdom) National Welsh Rarebit Day (United States) Tokehega Day (Tokelau, New Zealand)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Bring Your Manners To Work Day
    College Colors Day
    National Cinema Day
    World Beard Day
    International Vulture Awareness Day
    Franchise Appreciation Day
    International Bacon Day
    National Doodle Day
    National Hummingbird Day
    National Stephen Day
    National Tailgating Day
    US Bowling League Day
    Yamashita Surrender Day
    Park Soo-young’s Birthday
    Kaia Gerber’s Birthday
    DJ Envy’s Birthday
    August Alsina’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Skyscraper Day
    Skyscraper Day is held annually on September 3. Celebrate this unofficial holiday by climbing or taking the elevator/lift up a skyscraper and by acknowledging the architectural and engineering feats that make such buildings possible.

    The holiday, which has unknown origins, encourages people to learn more about the science and art of building skyscrapers.
    40 Floors
    Skyscrapers are very tall buildings that define a city's skyline. The term originates in the United States in the late 1880s during the building boom in Chicago and New York. At this time, buildings that had more floors than the surrounding buildings were called skyscrapers. These days, buildings that have have at least 40 or more floors are designated as skyscrapers.
    Three Height Criteria
    The Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat, an international organization of civil engineers and architects based in Chicago, U.S. is an authority on the official heights of tall buildings and determines which building receives the title of the Tallest Building in the World. The Council ranks the heights of buildings based on three criteria: the height of building from the lowest level to the architectural top, excluding antennae and flagpoles; the highest occupied floor; and from the lowest level to the highest level, including antennae and flagpoles.
    How to Celebrate?
    Go up a skyscraper and take in the views from the top floor. Many skyscrapers have restaurants or cafes at their top floors - why not have a meal there while enjoying your city’s landscape? Learn more about the science and engineering behind these architectural marvels. Make your own skyscraper city using toy blocks or other materials. Did You Know...
    ...that in Hong Kong tall buildings do not have a floor numbered 13 or any floors that have a 4 in its number. This is because the numbers 13 and 4 are culturally seen as unlucky numbers.
     
    ***
     
    James and Stephen go into a sweet shop. James stealthily pockets three bars of chocolate and slips out. Gloating, he challenges Stephen to do something even bigger.
    “No problem,” replies Stephen. “I’ll show you the real art of thieving.”
    Re-entering the shop, Stephen approaches a member of staff and asks, “Would you like to see a magic trick?”
    The staff member nods, so Stephen takes three chocolate bars off the shelf and eats them all.
    “So where’s the magic?” asks the staff member.
    “Just check my friend’s pocket,” Stephen replies, pointing to James. “You’ll find all three bars intact.”
     
    ***
     
    At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
    On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
    “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
     
    ***
     
    Two hunters hired a pilot to fly them deep into the wilderness to look for deer. After bagging six large bucks, they were loading the plane to return when the pilot said, “Hold on. This aircraft is only rated to carry four deer.”
    The two men objected strongly. “Last year we got six and the pilot let us take them all – and he had the exact same plane.”
    Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six deer were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down in the forest. Somehow the two men survived, and after climbing from the wreckage the first hunter asked: “Any idea where we are?”
    “Sure,” his friend replied. “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year.”
     
    ***
     
    Six Dumb Questions Real Lawyers Asked In Court
    “How many times have you committed suicide?” “Were you alone or by yourself?” “Was it you or your brother who was killed?” “Without saying anything, tell the jury what you did next.” “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?” “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”  
     
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    When my kid told me a laptop was essential for taking notes.
     
     
     
    sandrewn
  23. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 02 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 397
    September 02nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Acepsimas of Hnaita and companions (Syriac Orthodox Church) Agricola of Avignon Antoninus of Pamiers Brocard Castor of Apt Diomedes Eleazar Hieu Ingrid of Sweden Justus of Lyon Margaret of Louvain Maxima of Rome Nonnosus William of Roskilde September 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Democracy Day (Tibet) Independence Day (Transnistria, unrecognized) Independence Day (Artsakh, unrecognized) National Blueberry Popsicle Day (United States) National Day, celebrates the independence of Vietnam from Japan and France in 1945 Victory over Japan Day (United States)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Calendar Adjustment Day
    World Coconut Day
    National College Colors Day
    National Lazy Mom’s Day
    Bring Your Manners To Work Day
    Ceuta Day
    National Chianti Day
    National Food Bank Day
    Pierce Your Ears Day
    Spalding Baseball Day
    Mark Harmon’s Birthday
    Leah Ashe’s Birthday
    Eugenio Derbez’s Birthday
    Charles Trippy’s Birthday
    Camille Grammer’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Bison Ten Yell Day
    On September 2 celebrate the 200th anniversary of any imaginary character of your choosing because it is Bison-Ten-Yell Day.

    Don't get it? It has nothing to do with bisons except for the name. Read Bison-Ten-Yell Day out fast and it sounds like bicentennial day. The origins of this unofficial day are unknown.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you need an excuse for a celebration, today is it. Make up a character or happy event and celebrate its bicentennial on this day. You could even make up a story around the character and have a contest among your guests - whoever comes up with the best and the most historically correct story will win! Since the day has bison in its name, what about spending some time to learn about bisons and their environment? Did You Know…
    …that despite their size, bisons can run very fast? They can gain speeds up to 65 km/h (40 mph).
     
    ***
     
    My wife was checking her emails and told me her password was “mickeyminniebatmanrobintomjerryLondon”.
    I asked her why it needed to be so long.
    “Because,” she replied, “I was told it had to have at least six characters and one capital.”
     
    ***
     
    I often wonder about people who live in tropical destinations.
    What do their screen savers look like?
     
    ***
     
    A guy in a van pulls up next to a Rolls-Royce at a red light and asks, “Hey, is your car Bluetooth enabled?” The Rolls owner nods.
    “So is mine. Got Wi-Fi?” The Rolls owner nods again. “Me too. What about a double bed?”
    “No. Do you?” asks the Rolls guy.
    “Yep.” The light changes and the van takes off.
    Jealous, the Rolls guy heads to a Pimp My Rolls customising shop and gets a double bed installed, then drives around until he finds the van parked on the side of the road. He raps on the window. “Guess what? I got a double bed put in my car too.”
    The van owner peers out. “You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!”
     
    ***
     
    My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
    Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags.
    He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.
     
     
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    Sighing...., my dad never took me trick or treating😥

     
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    Just for your interest. These are some their notable descendants:
    Hillary Clinton
    Angelina Jolie
    Madonna
    Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion (Hall of Fame ice hockey player)
     
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    Just one more reason I don't take the subway (anymore)
     
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    I rest my case (never more). Now where the hell is my anti-bat spray, anyone got some garlic I can borrow?
     
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 01 Sep 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 396
    September 1st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Constantius (Costanzo) of Aquino David Pendleton Oakerhater (Anglican Communion) Giles Loup (Lupus) of Sens Nivard (Nivo) Sixtus of Reims Terentian (Terrence) Verena Vibiana The beginning of the new liturgical year (Eastern Orthodox Church and the Eastern Catholic Church) September 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Knowledge Day (Former Soviet Union) Anniversary of Al Fateh Revolution (Gaddafists in Libya) Wattle Day (Australia)  
    Observances (click on the day for details)
    American Chess Day
    Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day
    Cherry Popover Day
    Chicken Boy Day
    Ginger Cat Appreciation Day
    International Cabernet Day
    National Acne Positivity Day
    National Child Identity Theft Awareness Day
    National Tofu Day
    Pink Cadillac Day
    Slovakia Constitution Day
    Uzbekistan Independence Day
    World Letter Writing Day
    Zendaya’s Birthday
    Dr. Phil’s Birthday
    Jungkook’s Birthday
    Barry Gibb’s Birthday
    Chanel West Coast’s Birthday
     
    Observances (click on the month for details)
    Sepsis Awareness Month
    Friendship Month
    Sourdough September
    Chiari Awareness Month
    Read A New Book Month
    Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month
    Pulmonary Fibrosis Awareness Month
    Suicide Prevention Month
    Shake Month
    Sewing Month
    Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
    Hunger Action Month
    Happy Cat Month
    Honey Month
    Chicken Month
    Piano Month
    Preparedness Month
    Library Card Sign-up Month
    Mushroom Month
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Emma Nutt Day
    Emma Nutt Day on September 1 celebrates the world’s first female telephone operator, Emma M Nutt.

    Like almost all professions, telephone services began as a man's world. The first telephone operators were all men, though very soon managers and customers realized that they were often impatient and rude with their customers.
    To avoid more unhappy customers, the Edwin Holmes Telephone Dispatch Company in Boston, Massachusetts decided to hire women. So on September 1, 1878 Alexander Graham Bell himself appointed Emma as the world's first female telephone operator. Her trailblazing career lasted for almost 35 years.
    Pioneering Women
    Emma's appointment was pathbreaking in many ways. She spearheaded a drastic change in the face and the tone of the telecommunications industry in the United States - by the mid 1900s, a majority of telephone operators in the country were women. Additionally, her employment strengthened the slowly pervading notion that women could work outside their homes and also contribute to the society and economy.
    Other annual holidays that celebrate pioneering women around the world include Helen Keller Day, The Duchess Who Wasn’t Day, Frankenstein Day, Ada Lovelace Day, and Jane Addams Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Like Emma, there are many other women who paved the path for future generations of girls to opt for careers and professions generally only reserved for men. Learn about their lives and their contribution to the society. Read more about the telephone industry and the science behind telecommunications. Pick up the phone and call the women who inspire you, and let them know that they are your role models. Did You Know…
    …that Emma Nutt and her sister Stella were the world's first sister duo to work as telephone operators?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    No Rhyme or Reason Day
    September 1 is No Rhyme or Reason Day. The unofficial holiday is dedicated to the English language idiom, no rhyme or reason, which means something that occurs without any purpose or explanation.

    The idiom is thought to have first found its way in the English language through the 1460 book The Boke of Nurture by John Russell, though it is most famous for its appearance in the 1590 Shakespearean play Comedy of Errors. It once again showed up in Shakespeare's 1600 play, As You Like It.
    The holiday is also known in the United States as National No Rhyme or Reason Day or National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Do you need a rhyme or a reason to celebrate this fun holiday? Here are some ways you can honor this expression:
    What about celebrating this holiday by tapping into your creative side? Spend the day writing free verse - poetry without any rhyme. Have a no rhyming contest with a friend or a co-worker. Find words that do not rhyme with anything else. Whoever finds the most words wins a copy of a thesaurus or a dictionary! Do something nice for someone for no rhyme or reason. Sometimes the most generous gestures are the ones that are undertaken without any cause or purpose. Did You Know...
    ...that in literature and poetry, words that are spelled similarly but pronounced differently are called eye rhymes?
     
    ***
     
     
    A man vacations on a tropical 
island, and the first thing he hears 
is drums.
    He goes to the beach 
and hears the drums; he eats lunch, he hears the drums; he tries to sleep, he can’t—drums.
    Finally he storms over to the manager. “I’ve had it! Can’t you stop those drums?” he begs.
    “No!” says the manager. “It’s very bad if the drums stop.”
    “Why?”
    “When the drums stop, the bass solo begins.”
     
    ***
     
    My husband was driving home from work when he was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt.
    Two days later—same ticket, same cop.
    “So,” the officer said, “have you learned anything?”
    “Yes, I have,” said my husband. “I’ve learned I need to take a different way home from work.”
     
    ***
     
    After 12 years in prison, a man 
finally breaks out.
    When he 
gets home, filthy and exhausted, 
his wife says,
    “Where have 
you been? You escaped eight hours ago!”
     
    ***
     
    One spring day I was taking the roll in my secretarial class at our local technical college. One of the sun worshipers was absent.
    "Cindy won't be here this afternoon?" I asked.
    "She went home to lay in the sun," a young woman in the front row answered.
    Trying to correct her grammar without embarrassing her before the class, I whispered, "Lie."
    "Okay," she replied in astonishment. "Cindy got sick and went home."
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    My Daily Bread Crumbs 31 Aug 2022

    By sandrewn,


    Bread Crumbs 395
    August 31st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
    (click on the day for details)
    Baloch-Pakhtun Unity Day (Balochs and Pashtuns, International observance) Christian feast day: Aidan of Lindisfarne Aristides of Athens Cuthburh Dominguito del Val Joseph of Arimathea Nicodemus Paulinus of Trier Raymond Nonnatus Wala of Corbie Waltheof, Earl of Northumbria August 31 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Solidarity and Freedom (Poland) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Kyrgyzstan from the Soviet Union in 1991. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Malaya from the United Kingdom in 1957. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Trinidad and Tobago from the United Kingdom in 1962. Romanian Language Day (Romania) Our Language (Moldova) National Trail Mix Day (United States) North Borneo Self-government Day (Sabah, Borneo)  
    Observances (click on the day or week for details)
    Maria Montessori’s Birthday
    International Overdose Awareness Day
    We Love Memoirs Day
    Love Litigating Lawyers Day
    Birth Anniversary of President Ramon Magsaysay
    International Day for People of African Descent
    Ganesh Chaturthi
    La Tomatina
    National Dan Day
    National Diatomaceous Earth Day
    National Matchmaker Day
    National South Carolina Day
    National Zoo Awareness Day
    World Distance Learning Day
    Van Morrison’s Birthday
    Richard Gere’s Birthday
    Dreka Gates’s Birthday
    Debbie Gibson’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Eat Outside Day
    August 31 is Eat Outside Day. So, pack up a lunch, head on over to the park and commune with nature while you eat your meal under the Sun.

    This unofficial holiday of unknown origins encourages eating outside as an excuse for people to go outdoors and take in some fresh air and enjoy some time under the Sun.
    The day is also known as Eat Outdoors Day or National Eat Outside Day in the US.
    How to Celebrate?
    Pack up a picnic lunch and enjoy it with family and friends in the park. Grill outside in the yard or take a portable grill to the park. If you usually have lunch at your desk at work, what about going out for your lunch break and having your meal under the Sun? Did You Know…
    …that picnics began as a meal break for hunters while hunting?
     
    ***
     
    I asked my brother-in-law, the 
father of four boys, “If you had to do it all over again, would you still have kids?”
    “Yes,” he said. “Just not these four.”
     
    ***
     
    Here is the best-ever backhanded compliment from a kid about a present:
    “Dear Genie, thanks for the toy. I’ll play with it when I’m bored.”
     
    ***
     
    My young son declared, “When 
I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mommy.”
    “You can’t marry your own mother,” said his older sister.
    “Then I’ll marry you.”
    “You can’t marry me either.”
    He looked confused, so I explained, “You can’t marry someone in your own family.”
    “You mean I have to marry a total stranger?!”
     
    ***
     
    Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates.
    One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children."
    St. Peter lets him enter.
    The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives."
    St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
    The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
    St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell."
     
     
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    Each link in this anchor chain weighs 500 pounds
     
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    sandrewn
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