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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 346
    July 13th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abd-al-Masih Abel of Tacla Haimonot (Coptic Church) Clelia Barbieri Conrad Weiser (Episcopal Church (USA)) Eugenius of Carthage Henry II, Holy Roman Emperor Mildrith of Thanet Silas (Catholic Church) Teresa of the Andes July 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Feast of Kalimát, first day of the seventh month of the Baháʼí calendar. (Baháʼí Faith) Statehood Day (Montenegro)[28] The last day of Naadam (Mongolia) Kashmir Martyrs' Day (Pakistan)  
    Observances
    National French Fry Day
    Asahna Bucha Day
    Asalha Puja
    Beef Tallow Day
    Esala Full Moon Poya
    Gruntled Workers Day
    International Rock Day
    National Barbershop Music Appreciation Day
    NATIONAL BEANS ‘N’ FRANKS DAY
    National Delaware Day
    Patrick Stewart
    Harrison Ford
     
    Fun Observances
     Embrace Your Geekness Day
    On July 13 embrace your geekness and use it as your secret power because it is Embrace Your Geekness Day.

    Being a geek is something to be proud of - chances are there are few other people in the world who are as smart as you are in the field of your specific interest, may it be music, video games, comics, movies, renaissance-era jewelry making techniques, or astronomy. So accept your geekiness with open arms and show off your knowledge with pride!
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn something new and geeky today. Flaunt your geekiness with pride. Are you a math geek? What about wearing a cool t-shirt with a math problem that only fellow math geeks would understand. If the field you are interested in has a secret language, what about spending the day speaking the language? Did You Know…
    …that geek was originally used as a derogatory term to describe circus workers? Today, however, the term has evolved to describe a person who is an enthusiastic expert on a particular issue or subject.
     
    ***
     
    When our ship stopped in the Atlantic Ocean for a “swim call,” the chief boatswain noticed how nervous I was.
    “Don’t worry,” he assured me. “You are never more than three miles from land.”
    Then he added, “Straight down.”
     
    ***
     
    As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle—which no longer works—and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.
    I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher.
    “What are you doing?” she asked.
    “I thought I heard an intruder. 
I came down to scare him.”
    Scanning the contours of my doughy, naked body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”
     
    ***
     
    Our drill instructor was at the end of his rope:
    An airman’s ineptitude was driving him crazy.
    Getting in the airman’s face, he demanded, “Whoever told you to join the Air Force?!”
    Snapping to attention, the airman proclaimed, “The Navy recruiter, Sir.”
     
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    My friend forgot his laptop on the floor of my room. My grandma thought it was a scale. 

    Conclusion: My grandma weighs $950.
     
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    Forget Soda, In The '60s You Could Buy Whisky From A Vending Machine
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 345
    July 12th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of the Heir to the Crown of Tonga (Tonga) Christian feast day: Feast of Saints Peter and Paul (Eastern Orthodox) Hermagoras and Fortunatus Jason of Thessalonica (Catholic Church) John Gualbert Louis Martin and Marie-Azélie Guérin Nabor and Felix Nathan Söderblom (Lutheran, Episcopal Church (USA)) Veronica Viventiolus July 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Kiribati from the United Kingdom in 1979. Independence Day, celebrates the independence of São Tomé and Príncipe from Portugal in 1975. The second day of Naadam (Mongolia) The Twelfth, also known as Orangemen's Day (Northern Ireland, Scotland, Newfoundland and Labrador)  
    Observances
    Cow Appreciation Day
    Etch A Sketch Day
    National Pecan Pie Day
    National Different Colored Eyes Day
    New Conversations Day
    Amazon Prime Day
    Battle of the Boyne
    Full Moon Day of Waso
    MALALA DAY
    Mexico: Lawyer's Day
    National Eat Your Jello Day
    National Hair Creator’s Day
    Night of Nights
    Paper Bag Day
    Richard Simmons
    Brock Lesnar
     
    Fun Observances
     Simplicity Day
    Simplicity Day is celebrated every year on July 12. The unofficial holiday commemorates the life, times and work of American philosopher and proponent of simple living, Henry David Thoreau.

    Born on July 12, 1817, Thoreau was against slavery, a supporter of small government, an environmentalist, and an author. He was also involved in the early transcendentalist movement in the United States. Transcendentalism is a philosophical movement that emerged in the U.S. in the mid-1800s. The main idea of the movement was that humans by nature are inherently good and that knowledge can only be gained through looking inwards as well as outwards.
    Embrace Simple Living
    Simplicity Day was created by the Emily Fund an organization created in memory of Emily Rachel Silverstein. The unofficial holiday encourages people to embrace simple living and a simple outlook towards life. It also promotes participants to do one thing to make the world a better place.
    The holiday is also sometimes known as National Simplicity Day in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take a vow of simplicity. Cut out unimportant things in your life. Is there an expensive object you have always wanted to buy? Instead of buying it, donate the money to a deserving organization. Volunteer your time and money to a local organization working on a cause of your choosing. Learn more about Henry David Thoreau’s life and philosophy. Read books and essays written by him. Some of his more well-known works include Walden, A Plea for Captain John Brown and Paradise (to be) Regained. Did You Know...
    ...that Thoreau was one of the first people to encourage hiking and other outdoor activities for fun?
     
    ***
     
    A pig walks into a bar, orders 15 beers, and drinks them.
    The bartender asks, "Would you like to know where the bathroom is?"
    "No," says the pig. "I'm the little piggy that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."
     
    ***
     
    I’m not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read,
    “Thanks for putting up with me so long.”
    When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work. “Where are you going?” she asked.
    “What do you mean?” I said.
    She read the card aloud as the florist had written it:
    “Thanks for putting up with me. So long.”
     
    ***
     
    Sometimes you have a mess on your hands that defies description. Not anymore. Clorox teamed up with comedian Carol Leifer to create The Clorox Ick-tionary, a Wiki-style dictionary for everyday messes.
    Here are new words that define slovenliness.
    Apocolipstick: The streak on your face when you’re bumped into while attempting to apply lipstick.
    Szechuan doodles: The pattern that your lo mein noodles make when they fall on the floor.
    Fridge-a-mortis: The liquid in the bottom of the vegetable drawer that hardens over time.
    Board-’oeuvres: Crumbs on your keyboard.
     
    ***
     
    A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.”
    A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.
    “Why did you buy six cartons of milk?” his wife asks.
    He replies, “They had avocados.”
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 344
    July 11th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast Day: Benedict of Nursia Olga of Kiev Pope Pius I July 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) China National Maritime Day (China) Day of the Bandoneón (Argentina) Day of the Flemish Community (Flemish Community of Belgium) Eleventh Night (Northern Ireland) Free Slurpee Day (Participating stores of the 7-Eleven chain in North America) National Day of Remembrance of the victims of the Genocide of the Citizens of the Polish Republic committed by Ukrainian Nationalists (Poland, established by the 22 July 2016 resolution of Sejm in reference to the July 11, 1943 Volhynian Bloody Sunday) Gospel Day (Kiribati) Imamat Day (Isma'ilism) National Day of Commemoration, held on the nearest Sunday to this date (Ireland) The first day of Naadam (July 11–15) (Mongolia) World Population Day (International)  
    Observances
    National Mojito Day
    National Blueberry Muffin Day
    National Swimming Pool Day
    International Town Criers Day
    National State Fair Food Day
    All American Pet Photo Day
    Bowdler's Day
    International Essential Oils Day
    National Culture and Senior Citizens Day
    National Polyphenol Day
    National Rainier Cherry Day
    World Benzodiazepine Awareness Day
    Lisa Rinna
    Lil Kim
     
    Fun Observances
    Cheer Up the Lonely Day
    Make someone smile on Cheer up the Lonely Day. Annually celebrated on July 11, the unofficial holiday aims to encourage people to give some of their time to make people who are lonely smile.

    Loneliness is an inevitable part of life. For some people, it can be temporary, and for others it may be a daily struggle. Loneliness can affect the young and the old, and people from all walks of life. It can be harmful to the mental, physical, and social health of those suffering from it.
    Bringing Cheer
    Cheer Up the Lonely Day aims to spread awareness about the damaging effects of loneliness and asks for people to give some of their time to bring happiness and cheer into the lives of those who may be lonely.
    How to Celebrate?
    This is one holiday that is easy to celebrate. All you need to do is make someone feel loved. If you know someone who could use your company, spend some time with them, make them their favorite meal, give them some encouragement, and let them know that you enjoy your time with them. If the person lives far away, send them a note to tell them that you miss them and that you think about them. Or what about sending them a little gift - perhaps their favorite candy or a bunch of flowers? Volunteer your time to work with the elderly in a nursing home - not only will you be bringing cheer in their lives, you may get to hear some amazing stories about their past. Learn more about the connection between mental health and loneliness and what you can do to ward off loneliness in your life and in the lives of others. Invite someone who has just moved to your town for coffee and cake and get to know them better. Did You Know...
    ...that some people can have a real fear of being lonely? Autophobia is the fear of being alone.
     
    ***
     
    Overheard: a mother bragging about her daughter.
    “She’s very articulate. She can draw anything.”
     
    ***
     
    I went with a friend to the country to look at a house he was thinking of buying. We found the town but not the road. We drove over to city hall, but no one there had heard of the road, not even the police or firefighters we asked. Finally, a young guy came to our aid. Pulling out a map, he showed us exactly how to get there.
    “Thanks,” I said. “Are you with the police or fire department?”
    “Neither,” he said. “I deliver pizzas.”
     
    ***
     
    While phoning a friend, my grandmother dialed the wrong number. She apologized and tried again, but she got the same number. Once more she hung up and redialed—same result. Now Grandma was frustrated.
    “Look,” she told the person on the other end,
    “I’m going to call my friend again. This time, don’t answer her phone!”
     
    ***
     
    On a trip to Sweden, I asked a few people where I could find some good local cuisine. “This is a pretty cosmopolitan city, so you can find just about any kind of international food that you’d like,” said one man.
    “But if you want truly local cuisine, get the meatballs at IKEA.”
     
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    Duck Tape Card
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 343
    July 10th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Mauritania) Christian feast day: Amalberga of Maubeuge Canute IV of Denmark Rufina and Secunda Seven Brothers Victoria, Anatolia, and Audax July 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day (Bahamas), celebrates the independence of the Bahamas from the United Kingdom in 1973. Nikola Tesla Day Statehood Day (Wyoming)  
    Observances
    National Kitten Day
    Teddy Bear Picnic Day
    National Piña Colada Day
    Pick Blueberries Day
    Don’t Step On A Bee Day
    Eid al-Adha
    Barn Day
    Feast of St. Rosalia
    National Pizza Day in Brazil
    Political Flag Day
    Karma Fizz
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Teddy Bears' Picnic Day
    If you have kids in your life, take them out with their teddy bears for a picnic on July 10, Teddy Bears’ Picnic Day.

    Celebrated mainly in the United States, Canada, Australia, and in some parts of Europe, the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown. It is also unclear what the holiday aims to achieve. It could be that the anonymous creators of the holiday wanted parents to encourage creativity among their children by taking them out for a whimsical picnic in the outdoors with their teddy bears and other stuffed toys.
    The holiday owes its name to a song of the same name by American composer John Walter Bratton and Irish lyricist Jimmy Kennedy.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take out the kids in your life and their stuffed bears for a picnic. If you have to have the picnic at home, what about setting a pillow tent in the middle of your living room and treat your kids’ teddy bears to a picnic? Did You Know…
    …that this popular stuffed toy was named after American President Theodore Roosevelt, Jr?
    ~~~~~~~
    Clerihew Day
    On July 10 celebrate the Clerihew, a form of poetry that was invented by English author Edmund Clerihew Bentley.

    Commemorating Bentley’s birthday the unofficial holiday encourages people to read and write their own specific form of clerihews.
    A clerihew is a 4-line biographical poem usually featuring and making fun of a well-known person. The first line always includes the name of the subject. The poem does not have a fixed meter or line length and has an AABB rhyme scheme.
    Anatomy of a Poem
    In poetry, a meter (or metre if you follow British spellings) refers to a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables in a line that is set in length (a verse). A rhyme scheme refers to the pattern of rhymes at the end of each line in a poem. To identify a rhyme scheme, each line in a poem is designated with a letter. Lines that share a letter rhyme have words at the end that rhyme with each other.
    It is believed that Bentley first came up with the clerihew at the age of 16 during a science class. The poem was about Sir Humphry Davy, a chemist. It was published in 1905.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read some of Bentley’s clerihews. Spend some time coming up with your own clerihews. What about featuring some of your friends, family members, and co-workers in some of your poems? Learn more about the history, art, and science of poetry. Did You Know...
    ...that the study of meter and rhyme in poetry and prose is called prosody?
     
    ***
     
    From the news:
    “Bob” was considered a star at the computer company where he worked. He made a six-figure salary and routinely received excellent performance reviews.
    And now we know why:
    Without his boss’s knowledge, “Bob” had outsourced his entire job to a company in China—for a fifth of his salary. He then spent his days at his desk playing games, shopping on eBay, and watching cat videos.
     
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    A man walks into a restaurant and says, "How do you prepare your chickens?"
    The cook replies, "Nothing special. We just tell 'em they're gonna die."
     
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    So a dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any jobs?"
    and the bartender says, "Why don't you try the circus?"
    The dog replies, "Why would the circus need a bartender?"
     
    ***
     
    Two women came to my photo studio to have their portrait taken. My very young and very naïve assistant asked, “Are you two sisters?”
    “No,” said one of the women. “We’re partners.”
    “Ohhhh …,” said my assistant. “So how long have you ladies been cops?”
     
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    I am so doing this tomorrow – Hot Dog & Pasta
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 342
    July 9th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (Cambodia) Christian Feast Day: Agilulfus of Cologne Amandina of Schakkebroek (one of Martyrs of Southern Hunan) Blessed Marija Petković Everilda Gregorio Grassi (one of Martyrs of Shanxi) Martyr Saints of China Martyrs of Gorkum Our Lady of Itatí Our Lady of Peace, Octave of the Visitation Our Lady of the Rosary of Chiquinquirá Pauline of the Agonizing Heart of Jesus Stephen Langton, Archbishop of Canterbury (Anglican commemoration) Veronica Giuliani July 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Australia) Constitution Day (Palau)[42] Constitutionalist Revolution Day (São Paulo) Day of the Employees of the Diplomatic Service (Azerbaijan) Independence Day, celebrates the declaration of independence of the United Provinces of South America by the Congress of Tucumán in 1816. (Argentina) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of South Sudan from Sudan in 2011. Nunavut Day (Nunavut)  
    Observances
    Fashion Day
    Anniversary of Guru Rinpoche
    Collector Car Appreciation Day
    Day of Arafah
    International Skinny Dip Day
    Martyrdom of the Bab
    National Don't Put all your Eggs in One Omelet Day
    Tabaski Day
    Waqfat Arafat Day
    Jack White
    Courtney Love
     
    Fun Observances
    Sugar Cookie Day
    On July 9, whip up a batch of warm, delicious, and sugary sugar cookies because it is Sugar Cookie Day.

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, the day celebrates a childhood favorite that not only tastes good, but will also makes your kitchen smell amazing!
    A holiday staple in the United States, sugar cookies are sweet treats made of flour, eggs, butter, and sugar. The primary flavor in the cookies is vanilla.
    Blank Canvas for Decoration
    While sugar cookies can be eaten plain, they are usually used baked in different shapes and decorated with colorful icing, frosting, and sprinkels.
    In the United Kingdom and some other parts of the world, the term biscuits is used to refer to treats similar to cookies.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn how to make sugar cookies and bake them. Share the cookies with co-workers, family, and friends. Gourmet up your cookies by making them in different shapes and coating them with different colored royal icing. Host a sugar cookie decorating and exchange party. Have your guests bake cookies and bring them to the venue, where all of you can decorate the cookies and take some home. Did You Know...
    ...that the term cookie, comes from the Dutch word koekje, meaning little cakes?
     
    ***
     
    About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again. Unsure how to begin, I thought I'd scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they'd be promising candidates. A couple of days later, I was checking my messages and discovered one from my ex-husband.
    "I was over visiting the kids yesterday," he said.
    "While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper. Don't bother calling the guy in the second column. I can tell you right now it won't work out. That guy is me."
     
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    My friend Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. Somehow Mark got the idea that his wife did not want a card on Valentine's Day, but when he spoke to her on the phone he discovered she was expecting one. Not having time to buy a card on his way home, Mark was in a quandary. Then he looked at the lawn-mower trade magazines scattered around the office—and got an idea.
    Using scissors and glue, he created a card with pictures of mowers, next to which he wrote:
    "I lawn for you mower and mower each day."
     
    ***
     
    The lingerie store where my aunt works was crowded with shoppers selecting Valentine's Day gifts for their wives. A young businessman came to the register with a lacy black negligee.
    My aunt noticed that the next customer, an elderly farmer, was holding a long flannel nightgown and kept glancing at the younger man's sexier choice.
    When it was his turn, the farmer placed the nightgown on the counter.
    "Would you have anything in black flannel?" He asked.
     
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    One caller to Butterball's Thanksgiving Turkey Talk-Line had always cut the legs off the turkey before putting it in the oven, thinking that was how you had to cook a turkey.
    She later learned that the only reason her mom had been doing that was because their oven had been so small that that was the only way to get the bird into the oven!
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 341
    July 8th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian Feast Day: Abda and Sabas Auspicius of Trier Grimbald Kilian, Totnan, and Colman Saints Peter and Fevronia Day (Russian Orthodox) Procopius of Scythopolis Sunniva and companions Theobald of Marly July 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Air Force and Air Defense Forces Day (Ukraine)  
    Observances
    World Kebab Day
    Worldwide Knit in Public Day
    National Chocolate with Almonds Day
    Be a Kid Again Day
    National SCUD Day
    Gospel Day
    National Blueberry Day
    National Freezer Pop Day
    National Love Your Skin Day
    Penelope Disick
    Jaden Smith
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Video Games Day
    On July 8 celebrate video games on Video Games Day. It is a day to acknowledge the art and science behind video games and to appreciate the skills required to play them.

    Video games are games played by people on an electronic device that usually displays components of the games. Video games can be played on a computer, a console or an arcade machine.
    Part of Popular Culture
    Video games became a part of popular culture in the 1970s and 1980s when the technology to make the games and play them became affordable and easily accessible. One of the earliest arcade games that became popular around the world was Atari's Pong. Released in 1972, Pong was based on tennis.
    Today, technological innovations have revolutionized both the science and art of video games. People can now not only play video games on consoles and on their computers, but they can also play them on their mobile phones and hand-held tablets.
    Some people celebrate a similar holiday on September 12.
    How to Celebrate?
    Participate in local video game events and competitions. Play all your favorite video games with your friends. Have a video game party where you and your guests dress up like your favorite video game characters. Did You Know…
    …that the co-founders of Apple, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne all worked for video game giant, Atari?
    ~~~~~~~
    Math 2.0 Day
    July 8 is Math 2.0 Day. It is a day to remind ourselves that math, or maths if you follow British English, is not just the boring subject you hated during school and college. The world runs on numbers and mathematics.

    Without mathematics, we would not have buildings or cars or airplanes or the TV or even the device you are reading this on. Indeed, math is the basis of almost all science and technology. This unofficial holiday is thought to have been created in 2009 and is a celebration of math and technology. It brings together mathematicians, innovators, educators, and policy makers around the world and aims to raise awareness about the importance of math literacy and education, both at the school and college level.
    Other Mathematical Holidays
    If you are a math enthusiast, there are several other mathematical holidays throughout the year that honor mathematicians and their work. Some of these include Square Root Day, e-Day, Pi Day, Tau Day, Yellow Pig Day, Pi Approximation Day, and Fibonacci Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Spend the day solving some mathematical problems and telling math jokes. Many companies and universities organize Math 2.0 events. Attend one of these events and learn more about the intersection of mathematics and technology. Did You Know...
    ...that the word mathematics comes from the Greek word, máthēma, which means knowledge or to learn?
     
    ***
     
    Nobody wants a pain reliever that’s anything less than extra-strength:
    “Give me the maximum-allowable dosage. Figure out what will kill me, and then back it off a little bit.” —Jerry Seinfeld
    ***
    Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?
    He needed some space.
    ***
    Did you hear the one about the 400-pound cartoonist?
    He was overdrawn.
    ***
    Did you hear the one about the knife-sharpener who quit his job?
    He couldn't stand the daily grind.
    ***
    Did you hear the one about the mime who went shopping?
    He only bought unmentionables.
    ***
    Did you hear the one about the convict who had an allergy?
    He broke out.
     
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    “NYCs annual Greek Independence Day Parade.”
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 340
    July 7th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Æthelburh of Faremoutiers Felix of Nantes Illidius Job of Manyava (Ukrainian Orthodox Church) Willibald (Catholic Church) July 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Solomon Islands from the United Kingdom in 1978. Ivan Kupala Day (Belarus, Poland, Russia, Ukraine) Saba Saba Day (Tanzania) Tanabata (Japan) World Chocolate Day  
    Observances
    National Strawberry Sundae Day
    Global Forgiveness Day
    National Macaroni Day
    National Dive Bar Day
    George Town Heritage Day in Penang
    International Peace & Love Day
    National Father Daughter Take a Walk Day
    Star Festival
    Thirsty Thursday
    Sky Brown
    Marc Chagall
     
    Fun Observances
    Tell the Truth Day
    July 7 is Tell the Truth Day, a day dedicated to honesty and the rejection of manipulation and lying.

    The unofficial holiday encourages people to always tell the truth, even if it is often times inconvenient and hard.
    Honesty and truthfulness are virtues that are emphasized by all world religions. Cultures around the world put a premium on integrity and sincerity - people who tell the truth are always honored and celebrated over people known to tell lies.
    Tell The Truth Day is also sometimes celebrated on April 2, the day after April's Fool Day, a holiday that encourages pranks and harmless forms of lying.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate honesty by telling the truth the whole day. If you have kids in your life teach them that lying is harmful and tell them the benefits of telling the truth all the time. If you have been lying to a loved one or a family member, today is the day to come clean. Did You Know…
    …that Benjamin Franklin is thought to have popularized the phrase "honesty is the best policy"?
     
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    Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
    “Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
    “But Larry’s still alive.”
    “I know, but his hair is gone.”
     
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    When my 15-year-old son, Pat, stepped up to the plate during a Colt League baseball game, the young announcer declared, "Now batting, the right fielder, number 12, Pathogen!"
    After some confusion in the stands, the announcer came back on over the loudspeaker.
    "Oh, I get it — Pat Hogan!"
     
    ***
     
    You’d die of embarrassment if these phrases appeared in your obituary:
    “She leaves behind a brother and 117 cats.”
    “Passed away in a failed stunt that has already been viewed more than 40 million times on YouTube.”
    “Was always quick to point out others’ grammatical errors.”
    “Survived by his parents and his animatronic wife, Elizabot.”
     
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    I was diagnosed with antisocial behavior disorder, so I joined a support group.
    We never meet.
     
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  8. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 339
    July 6th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    The first day of the Festival of San Fermín, which lasts until July 14. (Pamplona) Christian feast day: Maria Goretti Romulus of Fiesole July 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Cayman Islands) Day of the Capital (Kazakhstan) Independence Day (Comoros), celebrates the independence of the Comoros from France in 1975. Independence Day (Malawi), celebrates the independence of Malawi from United Kingdom in 1964. Jan Hus Day (Czech Republic) Kupala Night (Poland, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine) Statehood Day (Lithuania) Teachers' Day (Peru)  
    Observances
    National Fried Chicken Day
    Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day
    Virtually Hug a Virtual Assistant Day
    Umbrella Cover Day
    Ker Puja
    MHIP Day in Mizoram
    National Air Traffic Control Day
    World Zoonoses Day
    Kevin Hart
    50 Cent
     
    Fun Observances
     World Kissing Day
    On July 6, pucker up and lock lips with your sweetie because it is World Kissing Da

    While the exact origins of the unofficial holiday are unknown, it is thought that it began in the United Kingdom. It has now become popular throughout the world.
    While kissing is one the most recognized gesture in the world, it holds culture-specific meaning and importance. In some cultures kissing between people of opposite sex is frowned upon while in others kissing is seen as a symbol of intimacy and is only reserved as a way to convey love. In many other cultures, kissing can be a sign of respect, greeting or friendship.
    Theories of Kissing
    Anthropologists and scientists have proposed two different theories of why humans kiss. The first theory is that kissing is a behavior that evolved from kiss feeding - where mothers fed their children chewed-up food through their mouths. The second theory suggests that kissing is an instinct that humans have had throughout the history of humankind. A study published in the journal, Nature, found that two-thirds of people tilt their heads to the right while kissing.
    This holiday is also sometimes known as Kissing Day or International Kissing Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Steal kisses from your sweetheart throughout the day. Sometimes, the best way to tell someone you care is to give him or her a quick peck on the cheek. Also remember to avoid onions or garlic that day, unless you want your loved one to celebrate Avoid Kisses From Your Loved One Day! Did You Know…
    ...that kissing involves using 34 facial muscles? Humans have a total of 42 facial muscles.
     
    ***
     
    Here's what your e-mail address says about your computer skills:
    Own domain (e.g., @joesmith.com): You're skilled and capable.
    @gmail.com:When the Internet stops working, you actually try rebooting the router before calling a family member for help.
    @hotmail.com:You still think that Myspace is hip.
    @yahoo.com:You send e-mail chain letters saying that Bill Gates will eat your hard drive unless you forward this message to everyone you know.
    @aol.com: You phone friends to tell them about a neat website, then say into the receiver, "OK, go to … h … t … t … p … colon … slash … w … w … w … dot …"  
     
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    A graphic designer on the phone with his client. Designer:  
    Hi. I'm just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say "programs" for the third question.
    Client: No! What I sent along was completely accurate. Just copy it over exactly as it says. I'll explain it nice and slowly for you.
    Designer: "Please indicate which pogroms you've attended"?
    Client: Yeah, that should be programs.
     
    ***
     
    Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls.
    "Your wife must like rolls," he said.
    "How do you know these are for my wife?" I asked.
    "Because your mother wouldn't send you out in weather like this."
     
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    As I was treating my daughter and her family to the buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a winning slot machine began to go off. My seven-year-old grandson was awed.
    "Wow!" yelled Casey. "This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people."
     
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    An actual educated meteorologist
     
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    This bison weighs 3,000 pounds!
    This bison weighs 3,000 pounds. The largest bison ever weighed 3,801 pounds. : interestingasfuck
     
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  9. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 338
    July 5th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Bloody Thursday (International Longshore and Warehouse Union) Christian feast day: Anthony Maria Zaccaria, priest (d. 1539) Cyril and Methodius (a public holiday in Czech Republic and Slovakia) Zoe of Rome (Roman Catholic Church) July 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Armenia) Fifth of July (New York), historic celebration of the abolition of slavery in New York in 1827.[38] Independence Day (Algeria), celebrating the independence of Algeria from France in 1962. Independence Day (Cape Verde), celebrating the independence of Cape Verde from Portugal in 1975. Independence Day (Venezuela), celebrating the independence of Venezuela from Spain in 1811; also National Armed Forces Day. Tynwald Day, if July 5 is on a weekend, the holiday is the following Monday. (Isle of Man)  
    Observances
    National Apple Turnover Day
    Mechanical Pencil Day
    National Graham Cracker Day
    National Bikini Day
    National Hawaii Day
    Pet Remembrance Day
    Zambia Unity Day
    Tavior Mowry
    Ryann Shane
     
    Fun Observances
    Workaholics Day
    July 5 is Workaholics Day, a day dedicated to people who spend all their time working and tend to ignore other pursuits in life.

    The unofficial holiday raises awareness about the fact that all work and no play can be harmful to the mental and physical health of workers. The day encourages workaholics to make lifestyle changes so that they give other aspects of their lives as much importance as their work.
    How to Celebrate?
    If there is a workaholic in your life, ask them to take the day off and take them out to do something fun. Perhaps a trip to a theme park or a hike? Make a nice meal for the workaholic in your life and tell them about the problems associated with working all the time. If you are a workaholic, take the day off to reevaluate your life and take some time off for yourself. Did You Know...
    ...workaholic is a portmanteau word. It comes from combining two words - work and alcoholic. The term was first used extensively to refer to people who excessively and compulsively work in the late 1960s.
     
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    I finally convinced my mother that it was a good idea for her to learn to text. Her first message to me?
    "Whereisthespacebar?"
     
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    In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket.
    "Can't find Brillo pads," she wrote. "All they have are Tampax and Kotex."
     
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    A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!"
    The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don't follow you …"
     
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    During my time in the Navy, everyone was getting KP or guard duty except me. Not wanting to get in trouble, I asked the ensign why.
    "What's your name?" he asked.
    "Michael Zyvoloski."
    "That's why. I can't pronounce it, much less spell it."
     
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    ( One Space Was All that Was Needed!!!! )
     
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  10. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 337
    July 4th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Andrew of Crete Bertha of Artois Blessed Catherine Jarrige Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati Elizabeth of Aragon (or of Portugal) Oda of Canterbury Ulrich of Augsburg July 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Birthday of Queen Sonja (Norway) The first evening of Dree Festival, celebrated until July 7 (Apatani people, Arunachal Pradesh, India) Independence Day, celebrates the Declaration of Independence of the United States from Great Britain in 1776 (United States and its dependencies) Liberation Day (Northern Mariana Islands) Liberation Day (Rwanda) Republic Day (Philippines)  
    Observances
    Alice in Wonderland Day
    National Barbecued Spareribs Day
    Independence From Meat Day
    National Caesar Salad Day
    Jackfruit Day
    Filipino-American Friendship Day
    Indivisible Day
    Heroes' Day of Zambia
    National Hillbilly Day
    Official Birthday of HM King Tupou
    Sidewalk Egg Frying Day
    Post Malone
    Malia Obama
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Jul 4th, 2022 - Sun Jul 10th, 2022
    Great British Pea Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Sidewalk Egg Frying Day
    July 4 is Sidewalk Egg Frying Day, an annual celebration of summer.

    While the origins of this unofficial holiday are unknown, it is clear that the creator of the day wanted people to venture out in the hot summer Sun and be environmentally friendly by cooking eggs using solar energy.
    The name of the holiday comes from the saying "it’s so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk."
    Many places in the Northern Hemisphere are hot enough during this time of the year for people to crack an egg on the sidewalk and cook it. Add some salt and pepper and fry up some bacon and you will have the perfect breakfast! We are kidding, of course. Please do not eat food cooked on the sidewalk!
    Bad Conductor of Heat
    If you do want to cook your eggs outdoors using solar energy, the sidewalk may not be your best bet. An egg needs to be heated to around 145 degrees Fahrenheit (62 degrees Celsius) to be cooked. Sidewalks unfortunately are made of concrete, which is a poor conductor of heat. This means that once you crack open an egg on the sidewalk, not all of the heat from it will be transferred to the egg, leaving it uncooked or unevenly cooked.
    If you really did want to cook an egg outdoors try doing it on the hood of your car or using a tin foil on which you can crack your egg. Metal is a better conductor of heat than concrete.
    How to Celebrate?
    The day is a celebration of summer, so if you are not in the mood of frying an egg on the sidewalk, what about spending the day next to the pool and cooling down with lots of ice cream or popsicles? Stay out of the Sun and make your eggs the traditional way – on the stove! Did You Know...
    ...that the city of Oatman, Arizona holds an annual Solar Egg Frying Contest every year? Contestants are given 5 minutes to cook an egg and can use objects like mirrors and magnifying glasses.
     
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    My helicopter crew landed on a frigate in order to evacuate a sick sailor who, we later learned, was suffering from a skin infection called cellulitis.
    When we arrived, we asked a crewman what was wrong.
    Pointing to the stricken sailor, he said, "She has cellulite."
     
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    These holiday "headlines" — concocted by the satirists at the Onion — are completely fabricated. And yet they have the ring of truth: -Coal Now Too Expensive to Put in Christmas Stockings -Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think -Accountants Pack Times Square for Fiscal New Year -Book Given as Gift Actually Read     ***
     
    The insurance industry loves its acronyms.
    The first time I saw the term proof of ownership was in a client's file that read "Insured has POO on damaged items."
     
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    Visiting a new port is always exciting, and when our destroyer docked in Kiel, Germany, it was no different.
    In fact, one of my men was awestruck.
    "Look, Chief," he whispered excitedly. "They have Volkswagens over here too!"
     
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    Bread Crumbs 336
    July 3rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Anatolius of Constantinople Anatolius of Laodicea Dathus Germanus of Man Gurthiern Heliodorus of Altino Mucian Peregrina Mogas Fontcuberta Pope Leo II Thomas the Apostle July 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Emancipation Day (United States Virgin Islands) Independence Day, celebrates the liberation of Minsk from Nazi occupation by Soviet troops in 1944 (Belarus) The start of the Dog Days according to the Old Farmer's Almanac but not according to established meaning in most European cultures Women's Day (Myanmar)  
    Observances
    National Stay Out of the Sun Day
    National Chocolate Wafer Day
    Disobedience Day
    Air Conditioning Appreciation Day
    National Eat Your Beans Day
    National Fried Clam Day
    Build A Scarecrow Day
    American Redneck Day
    Bonalu
    First Day of NAIDOC Week
    International Drop a Rock Day
    NATIONAL HOP-A-PARK DAY
    National Independent Beer Run Day
    StartTheConversation Day
    The Day of Dombyra
    Tom Cruise
    Brooklyn Queen
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Compliment Your Mirror Day
    July 3 is Compliment Your Mirror Day, a day to encourage self-acceptance and to acknowledge that you are beautiful, smart, and strong.

    In today's fast-paced world, it is sometimes easy to forget to celebrate who we are and to take stock of the fact that we are unique and wonderful. Compliment Your Mirror Day is an unofficial holiday of unknown origins that inspires us to look in the mirror and affirm that we are special and beautiful inside and out.
    Raising Self-Worth
    Also sometimes known as National Compliment Your Mirror Day in the United States, this holiday is not just about outer beauty. It is about raising our self-worth and recognizing that we have a lot to contribute to our families, workplaces, societies, and communities.
    How to Celebrate?
    Compliment the person you see in the mirror. Tell them that they are awesome and an amazing human being! Be nice to yourself – treat yourself to something you have always wanted. Pamper yourself to a day at the spa or a day of quiet meditation or a long overdue vacation – you’ll find that feeling better about oneself can make everything else in life better. Did You Know...
    ...that ancient humans built mirrors using obsidian - naturally occurring volcanic glass?
    ~~~~~~~
    International Plastic Bag Free Day
    On July 3, when you go to the grocery store take a cloth or paper bag with you because it is International Plastic Bag Free Day.

    Created by Bag Free World, a “global initiative that aims to eliminate the use of single-use plastic bags,” International Bag Free Day is an unofficial holiday that promotes environmental conservation by encouraging people to reject plastic bags. The holiday also raises awareness of the harm that plastic bags do to nature and to animals and marine life.
    How to Celebrate?
    Say no to single-use plastic bags. Take your own cloth or paper bag when you go shopping. Not only will you be saving money – several grocery stores give discounts for patrons bringing in their own bags, you will also be helping to save the environment. If you are crafty, make your own bag and carry it with style. Volunteer your time or money with an environmental organization that works on cleaning water and landmasses of plastic bags. Recycle all the plastic in your house and office. Spread the word to your family and friends. If you are a company, why not make promotional cloth bags to give away to your clients and customers? Did You Know…
    …that plastic comprises of around 75% of all marine litter?
     
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    During a heartfelt chat with her friend about relationships, my wife sighed and said, "You know, if something happened to Lloyd, I don't think I could ever marry again."
    Her friend nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean," she said. "Once is enough."
     
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    As I shopped, the following announcement came over the department store's PA system:
    "If someone here has a convertible with the top down, it just started raining. Towels are located in aisle five."
     
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    As I helped my elderly neighbor clean out his garage, I stumbled upon an ax in the corner.
    "That was my grandfather's," he said, picking it up and running his fingers along the blade.
    "Of course, it's been through three new heads since he last used it."
     
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    My friend was working at an amusement park when a couple stopped him.
    "Excuse me," said the woman, pointing to a pond. "What is that water made out of?"
    Bemused, my friend replied, "Two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen."
    "See?" she said to her boyfriend. "I told you it wasn't real."
     
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    Bread Crumbs 335
    July 2nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aberoh and Atom (Coptic Church) Bernardino Realino Feast of the Visitation (Anglicanism; Levoča at Mariánska hora) Monegundis Otto of Bamberg Oudoceus Martinian and Processus Pishoy (Coptic Church) Stephen III of Moldavia July 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Flag Day (Curaçao) Palio di Provenzano (Siena, Italy) Police Day (Azerbaijan)  
    Observances
    National Hop-A-Park Day
    National Anisette Day
    Comic Sans Day
    Freedom From Fear of Speaking Day
    International Cherry Pit Spitting Day
    International Day of Cooperatives
    Made In The USA Day
    National Disco Day
    National Report Military Fraud Day
    Special Recreation for the Disabled Day
    World Sports Journalists Day
    Vince Staples
    Saweetie
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     I Forgot Day
    July 2 is I Forgot Day. If you are you a forgetful person who frequently forgets anniversaries, birthdays, special occasions, or even to bring the milk from the store on your way back home, then this is the unofficial holiday you should be celebrating.

    Created by Gaye Anderson, the holiday encourages people to apologize and make up for all the events and occasions they might have forgotten in the past few months.
    How to Celebrate?
    Acknowledge your mistake and do something nice for those whose birthdays and anniversaries you missed. Some ideas include: making a nice dinner for them or sending them flowers. Write a nice apology note to your loved ones telling them how sorry you are that you forgot their birthday or that special occasion. Create an online reminder or calendar for all the special occasions in your life. That way, you’ll never have to forget a thing, except today’s holiday! Did You Know...
    ...that according to some studies, walking through doors can create memory lapses? Psychologists believe that this is because when people walk through a door from one room to another, the transition indicates to the brain that the scene has changed and all information gathered in the previous room or scenario is no longer needed.
    ~~~~~~~
      World UFO Day
    On July 2, World UFO Day, bring out your telescopes, gaze up the skies and look out for Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs).

    Also sometimes celebrated on June 24, the holiday was created by the World UFO Day Organization as a way to bring together UFO enthusiasts and to raise awareness about UFOs.
    Subjects of Conspiracy Theories
    While UFOs are usually thought to be sophisticated spaceships of alien visitors to Earth, the term UFO can be used to refer to any type of object or phenomena that has not been previously observed in an area. Most UFO sightings are easily explained by scientific means. Despite this, UFOs are a constant subject of conspiracy theories around the world.
    It is believed that the abbreviation - UFO - was first coined in the 1950s by Edward J. Ruppelt, an officer with the United States Air Force, as a way to replace the prevailing terms used for unidentified objects in the skies at that time. These terms were flying saucers and flying discs.
    How to Celebrate?
    Join a local UFO sighting organization and attend their events. Read more about UFOS and what they are. Have a UFO sighting party, where you get together with family and friends to spot UFOs in the sky. Did You Know...
    ...the oldest recorded instance of a UFO viewing can be traced back to 214 CE?
     
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    For a romantic touch, I washed our sheets with lavender-scented detergent. When my husband got into bed, he sniffed. "What's this?" he asked.
    "Guess," I said coyly.
    "I have no idea," he said. "It smells like the stuff you use to line the hamster's cage."
     
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    I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded.
    I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich.
    "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
     
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    Our first stop as new recruits was the barber's.
    "Want to keep your sideburns?" he asked.
    "Yes, that would be great," I said.
    "Okay, I'll get you a bag to put them in."
     
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    One day we were watching a game, when my mother-in-law shrieked from the kitchen, "Jim, there's a horsefly in here!"
    Not taking his eyes off the screen, he barked back, "Give it some cough syrup."
     
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    ( I think we all know where our minds went )
     
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    I don’t know whether to be impressed or concerned that I understand this reference
     
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    That's what they do in vet school... just like the nursing program.
     
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    Bread Crumbs 334
    July 1st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aaron (Syriac Christianity) Blessed Antonio Rosmini-Serbati Felix of Como Junípero Serra Julius and Aaron Leontius of Autun Servanus Veep July 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Feast of the Most Precious Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ (removed from official Roman Catholic calendar since 1969) Earliest day on which Alexanderson Day can fall, celebrated on the Sunday closest to July 2. (Sweden) Earliest day on which CARICOM Day can fall, celebrated on the first Monday of July. (Guyana) Earliest day on which Constitution Day can fall, celebrated on the first Monday of July. (Cayman Islands) Earliest day on which Día del Amigo can fall, celebrated on the first Saturday of July. (Peru) Earliest day on which Fishermen's Holiday can fall, celebrated on the first Friday of July. (Marshall Islands) Earliest day on which Heroes' Day can fall, celebrated on the first Monday of July. (Zambia) Earliest day on which International Co-operative Day can fall, celebrated on the first Saturday of July. Earliest day on which International Free Hugs Day can fall, celebrated on the first Saturday of July. Earliest day on which Navy Day can fall, celebrated on the first Sunday of July. (Ukraine) Earliest day on which Navy Days can fall, celebrated on the first Saturday and Sunday of July. (Netherlands) Earliest day on which Youth Day can fall, celebrated on the first Sunday of July. (Singapore) Armed Forces Day (Singapore) Bobby Bonilla Day (United States) Canada Day, formerly Dominion Day (Canada) Children's Day (Pakistan) Chinese Communist Party Founding Day (China) Day of Officials and Civil Servants (Hungary) Doctors' Day (India) Emancipation Day (Sint Maarten[59] and Sint Eustatius[60]) Engineer's Day (Bahrain, Mexico) Hong Kong Special Administrative Region Establishment Day (Hong Kong, China) Independence Day (Burundi), celebrates the independence of Burundi from Belgium in 1962. Independence Day (Rwanda) Independence Day (Somalia) International Tartan Day July Morning (Bulgaria) Keti Koti (Emancipation Day) (Suriname) Madeira Day (Madeira, Portugal) Moving Day (Quebec) (Canada) Newfoundland and Labrador Memorial Day Republic Day (Ghana) Sir Seretse Khama Day (Botswana) Territory Day (British Virgin Islands) The first day of Van Mahotsav, celebrated until July 7. (India)  
    Observances
    International Chicken Wing Day
    National Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day
    International Reggae Day
    National Gingersnap Day
    ZIP Code Day
    National Postal Workers Day
    Alice Springs Show Day
    American Zoo Day
    Blink 182 Day
    Drive Your Corvette to Work Day
    International Reggae Day
    National Baby-Led Weaning Day
    National U.S. Postage Stamp Day
    National Wrong Trousers Day
    Rath Yatra
    Second Second Half of the Year Day
    Liv Tyler
    Pamela Anderson
    ~~~~~~~~~
    Fri Jul 1st, 2022 - Thu Jul 7th, 2022
    Write a Letter Appreciation Week
     
    Observances (Month)
    National Ice Cream Month
    Plastic Free July
    Bank Account Bonus Month
    Sarcoma Awareness Month
    National Picnic Month
    National Independent Retailer Month
    World Watercolor Month
    National Horseradish Month
    National Cell Phone Courtesy Month
    Dog House Repair Month
    Smart Irrigation Month
     
    Fun Observances
    International Joke Day
    Not only does July 1 mark the middle of the year in the Gregorian Calendar, it is also International Joke Day. The unofficial holiday encourages participants to share their funniest and sidesplitting jokes with the world.

    While the origins of this rib-tickling holiday are unknown, one can assume that its creators wanted people to spread cheer, laughter, and happiness by telling jokes to everyone they meet.
    A joke is a written or spoken narrative that entertains, amuses, or generates laughter among readers or listeners.
    Creating Ties
    Humans have been telling jokes for a large part of their history. According to historians, the oldest recorded joke can be traced back to the ancient Sumerians in 1900 BC.
    Anthropological studies have shown that laughter evolved as a way for humans to signal friendship and as a way to create and strengthen ties with a group.
    How to Celebrate?
    They say laughter is the best medicine, so make people around you laugh out loud by telling them jokes. Organize a joke contest at work – the best joke wins a gag prize. Read joke books today and share your favorite ones with family and friends. What about playing a harmless practical joke on a friend or a colleague? Did You Know...
    ...that it is believed on average children between the ages of 0 to 4 laugh 200-300 times a day, while adults only laugh about 4-20 times a day?
     
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    Take heed, scientists: Not every scientific advancement is Nobel Prize worthy. Some must lay claim to an Ig Nobel Prize, awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine:
    The Prize for Physiology went to the report "No Evidence of Contagious Yawning in the Red-Footed Tortoise."
    The Prize for Medicine went to a study that demonstrates that people make better decisions about some kinds of things — but worse decisions about other kinds of things — when they have a strong urge to urinate.
    The Prize for Biology went to the discovery that a particular kind of beetle mates with a particular kind of Australian beer bottle.
     
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    The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, "What trait do you think I passed on to my children?"
    One student called out, "Wrinkles!"
     
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    Needing to escape her hectic office, my friend fled to the mall, bought a candy bar, and then relaxed on a bench next to a businessman. Soon, she heard the sound of a crumpling wrapper and realized that he was eating her candy bar.
    When he went to work on an ice cream cone, she leaned over and took a huge lick. "There!" she declared.
    She then stormed off to her car, reached into her purse for her keys, and pulled out the candy bar she thought he'd eaten.
     
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    Overheard at my garden-club meeting:
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    June 30th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Martial Theobald of Provins First Martyrs of the Church of Rome June 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Armed Forces Day (Guatemala) Asteroid Day[42](International observance) General Prayer Day (Central African Republic) Independence Day (Democratic Republic of the Congo), celebrates the independence of Democratic Republic of the Congo from Belgium in 1960. Navy Day (Israel) Philippine–Spanish Friendship Day (Philippines) Revolution Day (Sudan) Teachers' Day (Dominican Republic)  
    Observances
    Worldwide Knit in Public Day
    Social Media Day
    National Bomb Pop Day
    National Corvette Day
    National Handshake Day
    National Work From Home Day
    Blink 182 Day
    International Day of Parliamentarism
    National OOTD Day
    Michael Phelps
    Angela Raiola
     
    Fun Observances
     Meteor Watch Day
    June 30 is Meteor Watch Day, a day to look up at the skies and behold the wonder of nature's celestial fireworks, meteors.

    Commonly known as shooting stars, meteors are space particles known as meteoroids that burn up with a flash of light when they enter the Earth's atmosphere. Even though meteors can only be seen by the naked eye when it is dark, meteoroids enter the Earth's atmosphere all the time. It is estimated that about 20 to 25 million meteors weighing about 100 tons in total enter the Earth's atmosphere every day!
    Celestial sights to see during the year
    Meteor Showers
    Meteors can sometimes enter the Earth in clusters. When this happens the event is known as a meteor shower. Some meteor showers occur at the same time every year.
    A handy guide to annual meteor showers
    The unofficial holiday is also sometimes called National Meteor Watch Day or Meteor Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a meteor watching party with friends - grab a blanket, find a good spot to spread it, lay down on it and gaze over the night sky – you may be able to spot a meteor or two. Remember to check the weather before you step out of the house and always wear appropriate clothing. Did You Know…
    …that meteors that enter the Earth's atmosphere and hit the ground are called meteorites?
     
     
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    After we had lunch with another couple, the women went shopping, and the men opted to go sailing. Bad decision—a storm blew in while we men were out on the water.

    Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding the boat. We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.

    As my friend stood there—ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting his face—he grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping!"     ***
     
    "We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan.
    You get more stuffing."
     
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    "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."—Jon Stewart
     
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    An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean, "In return for your unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward you with your choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty."
    "Give me infinite wisdom!" declares the dean, without hesitation.
    "Done!" says the angel before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
    All heads now turn to the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
    "Well," says a colleague, "say something brilliant."
    The dean stands and, with the poise of Socrates, opines, "I should have taken the money."
     
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    June 29th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Cassius of Narni Feast of Saints Peter and Paul (Western Christianity), and its related observances: Haro Wine Festival (Haro, La Rioja) l-Imnarja (Malta) June 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Engineer's Day (Ecuador) Independence Day (Seychelles), celebrates the independence of Seychelles from the United Kingdom in 1976. Veterans' Day (Netherlands) National Statistics Day (India)  
    Observances
    World Industrial Design Day
    International Mud Day
    National Almond Buttercrunch Day
    National Waffle Iron Day
    Hug Holiday
    National Camera Day
    Internal Autonomy Day
    International Day of the Tropics
    International Fisherman Day
    National Parchment Day
    The National Day of Joy
    Colin Jost
    Camila Mendes
     
    Fun Observances
     Camera Day
    June 29 is Camera Day, a day to celebrate the gadget that lets you record all your memories.

    Today, cameras are very sophisticated, allowing us to capture, save, and manipulate thousands of images as well as to shoot films. Every year, companies come out with smaller cameras with larger capabilities than their predecessors.
    An Ancient History
    Indeed, cameras have come a long way from the days of the camera obscura. Used by the ancient Chinese and Greeks, the camera obscura, a primitive precursor to the cameras we all use today, used a pinhole to project an upside-down image on a surface in a dark room.
    Cameras, as we know them today, did not exist until the early 1900s. Nicéphore Niépce (Joseph Niépce) was the first person in known history to have permanently captured an image using a camera in 1816. His partner, Louis-Jacques-Mandé Daguerre made the next big stride in photography when he invented the daguerreotype, a process that used a silver plate or a copper plate covered in silver to capture images.
    Cheap and Easy to Learn Hobby
    Photography and camera technology evolved by leaps and bounds and by the end of the 19th century, Kodak had started marketing photographic film and cameras to the general public.
    The next major revolution in the field came with the invention of digital cameras. Marketed commercially in the late 1980s, digital cameras have made photography an inexpensive and easy-to-adopt hobby and profession.
    How to Celebrate?
    Can you imagine a life where you couldn't capture the first dance at a wedding or a baby's first year or a graduation or one where there are no movie theaters? Here are some ways you can honor the humble device:
    Take your camera with you and record little moments of the day. Share the pictures you took on any of the photo sharing social website out there. If you have always wanted to learn about photography, today may be the day to start. Learn more about the history and science of cameras and photography. Did You Know…
    …that Kodak, one of the most popular brands of cameras, was the first company to build a digital camera?
     
    ***
     
    Experience is a great teacher, especially if it’s someone else who’s learning from his mistakes. These examples were sent to learnfrommyfail.failblog.org:
    "When holding a DVD in one hand and food in the other, remember which hand has what when you take a bite."
    "When running errands where one stop involves going to a bank and one involves dropping off a firearm, drop off the firearm first."
    "If you’re prone to impulse purchases, stick to shoes, not tattoos."
    "When attending a funeral, never clap after the eulogy, regardless of how meaningful and heartfelt it was."
     
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    A bilingual road sign in Wales caught bikers off guard. The English part read Cyclists Dismount.
    The Welsh: Llid Y Bledren Dymchwelyd, or "Bladder disease has returned."
    One theory for the mistake—instead of typing cyclist into an online translation program, someone typed cystitis.
     
    ***
     
    A customer called our service line demanding help with her TV set, which wouldn’t come on.

    "I’m sorry, but we can’t send a technician out today due to the blizzard," I told her.

    Unsatisfied, she barked, "I need my TV fixed today! What else am I supposed to do while the power is out?!"     ***
     
    An elevator in our office building is frequently out of order. The last time, maintenance posted a sign that summed up the situation: Elevator Closed for Temporary Repairs.
     
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    ( A repeat, I know, but it still cracks me up! )
     
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    June 28th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Basilides and Potamiana Irenaeus of Lyon (Western Christianity) Heimerad Blessed Maria Pia Mastena Paulus I Vincenza Gerosa June 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Ukraine) Poznań Remembrance Day (Poland) Vidovdan, celebrating St. Vitus and an important day in Serbian history. (Eastern Orthodox Church)  
    Observances
    National Insurance Awareness Day
    National Logistics Day
    National Ceviche Day
    National Paul Bunyan Day
    National Tapioca Day
    International Body Piercing Day
    Happy Heart Hugs Day
    National Alaska Day
    Vietnamese Family Day
    John Elway
    Elon Musk
     
    Fun Observances
     Tau Day
    Tau Day, an anti-Pi Day holiday, is an unofficial observance held every year since 2010 on June 28, or 06/28 as written in the American date format.

    The day began as a way to recognize tau, τ, a ratio constant describing the relationship between the circumference and the radius of a circle. In recent years, some mathematicians and physicists have argued for the replacement of pi (π) by tau.
    Replacing Pi
    The concept of replacing pi by tau as a better way to describe the relationship between a circle’s circumference and its radius was first brought up by mathematics professor, Bob Palais in the Mathematical Intelligencer in an article called π is wrong!. This was followed by the publishing of the Tau Manifesto by physicist Michael Hartl. Both of these articles called for the replacement of pi by tau. Tau, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its radius, is equal to 2 π or 6.283.
    Not Widely Accepted
    Tau is not yet widely accepted within the scientific community, though there is a large community of scientists and technologists who have called for the replacement of pi by tau.
    Other Mathematical Dates
    The Gregorian Calendar is full of dates that when written in a special manner represent a mathematical or scientific concept. Some of these include Yellow Pig Day, Mole Day, Fibonacci Day, Palindrome Day, and e-Day. Use our Date Pattern Calculator to find out other interesting calendar dates during the year.
    How to Celebrate?
    Because the value of tau is twice the value of pi, proponents of tau day call for “twice as much of pie” and to eat circular shaped food. So, instead of one slice of pie, eat two or four. If you are a teacher, use this day to encourage students to get interested in mathematics and to consider mathematics as a career choice. Did You Know…
    … that Michael Hartl, called for renaming March 14 (3/14) or Pi Day to Half Tau Day?
     
    ***
     
    Inspirational speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer still remembers the card his kids gave him for his 64th birthday. The front said, "Inside is a message from God."
    Pleased they finally appreciated his work, he opened it to read, "See you soon!"
     
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    My husband uses scraps of wood, called "shorts," for carving. In a lumber store, he saw some lovely pieces in a bin behind the counter. But he had a lot of explaining to do after he asked the clerk,
    "Do you mind if I come around and poke through your shorts?"
     
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    I arrived home to find the place ransacked. Fortunately, my niece and her husband, PJ, were with me.
    Grabbing a golf club, PJ searched the house to make sure the robber was gone. Then he looked at the club -- a three iron.
    "I should have taken the wedge," he said.
    "Why?" I asked.
    "Lately I've been having trouble hitting anything with my three."
     
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    Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our anniversary, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a negligee.

    As I'd hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.

    When he saw me, he shouted, "Are those potato chips?"
     
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    It Was A Happy Day For All Witches
     
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    June 27th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Arialdo Crescens, one of the Seventy disciples Cyril of Alexandria (Coptic Church, Roman Catholic Church, Anglican Communion and Lutheran Church) Ladislaus I of Hungary Our Lady of Perpetual Help Sampson the Hospitable Zoilus June 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Canadian Multiculturalism Day (Canada) Commemoration Day for the Victims of the Communist Regime (Czech Republic) Day of Turkmen Workers of Culture and Art and poetry of Magtymguly Pyragy (Turkmenistan)[29] Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Djibouti from France in 1977. Mixed Race Day (Brazil) National HIV Testing Day (United States) National PTSD Awareness Day (United States) Seven Sleepers' Day or Siebenschläfertag (Germany) Unity Day (Tajikistan)  
    Observances
    National Ice Cream Cake Day
    International Pineapple Day
    Please Take My Children to Work Day
    National Orange Blossom Day
    Industrial Workers Of The World Day
    National Sunglasses Day
    National Bingo Day
    Attwari
    National Onion Day
    Sacred Heart
    P.I.BANG
    Ed Westwick
     
    Fun Observances
    Helen Keller Day
    Celebrate human resilience and achievement on Helen Keller Day. Celebrated annually on June 27, the day commemorates the life and achievements of Helen Keller, American activist, author, and suffragist.

    The unofficial holiday is also a celebration of human grit and hard work. It promotes the idea that people can overcome challenges and achieve anything they want if they put their hearts and souls into it.
    A Life Spent Overcoming Challenges
    Born on June 27, 1880, in Alabama, United States, Helen Keller suffered from an illness in her childhood that left her blind and deaf at the age of two. Despite her challenges, Keller learned to communicate in sign language with the help of her teacher Anne Sullivan. In 1904, Keller became the first deaf and blind person to earn a bachelor's degree in the US.
    Disability Advocate
    Helen Keller spent the rest of her life advocating for people with disabilities, supporting the socialist party, traveling the world, and writing.
    In 1980, during her birth centennial, President Jimmy Carter proclaimed June 27, her birthday, to be celebrated as Helen Keller Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Read about the life and times of Helen Keller. Honor and celebrate people in your life and community who have conquered hardships and achieved something in life. Did You Know…
    …that Helen Keller won an Oscar for a documentary on her life? The documentary was called Helen Keller in Her Story. It was released in 1954 and received the Oscar in 1955.
     
    ***
     
    I told my wife, Annie, about a story I heard on the radio. An eccentric millionaire married a dolphin at a resort where she swam with the critter.
    "Isn't that nuts?" I marveled.
    "But just think of the fortune she'll make when she writes her memoirs," my wife said. "She could call it The Porpoise Driven Wife."
     
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    During a home renovation, my grandfather was watching me drive in nails. "You hammer like lightning," he said.
    "Really?" I replied, flattered.
    "You never strike the same place twice."
     
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    Few people know what a quartermaster does. So during my aircraft carrier's Family Day, I demonstrated a procedure called semaphore—I grabbed my flags and signaled an imaginary boat. When finished, I pointed to a little girl in front and asked, "Now do you know what I do?"
    "Yes," she said. "You're a cheerleader."
     
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    When a squirrel slipped into my house, I did the logical thing: I panicked and called my father.

    "How do you get a squirrel out of a basement?" I shrieked.

    Dad advised me to leave a trail of peanut butter and crackers from the basement to the outside. It worked—the squirrel ate his way out of the house. Unfortunately, he passed another squirrel eating his way in.
     
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    June 26th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Day of the Armed Forces of Azerbaijan Christian feast day: Anthelm of Belley David the Dendrite Hermogius Isabel Florence Hapgood (Episcopal Church) Jeremiah (Lutheran) John and Paul José María Robles Hurtado (one of Saints of the Cristero War) Josemaría Escrivá Mar Abhai (Syriac Orthodox Church) Pelagius of Córdoba Vigilius of Trent June 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Flag Day (Romania) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Madagascar from France in 1960. (Madagascar) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Somaliland from United Kingdom in 1960. (Somaliland) International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking (International)[31] International Day in Support of Victims of Torture (International)[31] Ratcatcher's Day (Hamelin, Germany) Sunthorn Phu Day (Thailand) World Refrigeration Day (International)  
    Observances
    National Cream Tea Day
    National Beauticians Day
    National Canoe Day
    Log Cabin Day
    Armed Forces Day (U.K.)
    National Fatherless Children’s Day
    Jacob Elordi
    Ariana Grande
     
    Fun Observances
     Chocolate Pudding Day
    June 26 is Chocolate Pudding Day. This unofficial holiday celebrates everyone's favorite lunch dessert snack - the chocolate pudding.

    Pudding is a dessert enjoyed by people in many parts of the world. In the United States and Canada, pudding is a custard-based dessert that is usually made of milk or cream, eggs, and sugar. The dessert is thickened with gelatin or starch and then cooled before being served. While many flavors of pudding exist, chocolate pudding is one of the most popular flavors and is commonly eaten as a lunch time snack.
    Savory Roots
    In the United Kingdom, while the word pudding is usually reserved to refer to desserts, savory dishes can also be called pudding. In fact, the term pudding was originally used for savory dishes especially those that came in some form of a casing such as a sausage.
    It is believed that the word pudding comes from the old French word, boudin, meaning sausage.
    In the UK, Australia, and New Zealand, flour is added to chocolate pudding giving it the consistency of a dense cake.
    How to Celebrate?
    The holiday is a good excuse to have this yummy dessert for all your meals. Use chocolate pudding as a topping for your oatmeal or cereal for breakfast. Skip your lunch and have a big bowl of chocolate pudding instead and have it as dessert for dinner. Make your own chocolate pudding from scratch and serve it to family and friends. Elevate the flavor of your chocolate pudding. Make it Mexican style by adding cinnamon and a pinch of chili or an Indian inspired chocolate pudding by adding a dash of cardamom. Trying to eat healthy? Skip the unhealthy ingredients and use avocados to whip up a batch of tasty and healthy chocolate pudding. Make a chocolate pie using chocolate pudding as a filling. Did You Know…
    …that a majority of the world's chocolate is produced in Ivory Coast?
     
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    Shortly after joining the Army, I was in line with some other inductees when the sergeant stepped forward with that day's assignments. After handing over various tasks, he asked, "Does anyone here have experience with radio communications?"
    A longtime ham operator, I shouted, "I do!"
    "Good," he said. "You can dig the hole for the new telephone pole."
                                                                                                                                
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    Our day-care center spent time helping the kids memorize their home addresses. My daughter, who was in my class, had her street name down, but couldn't remember the house number.
    "If our house is on fire and you call 911," I asked, "how will the firefighters know where to go?"
    She had a plan: "I'll tell them to go to South 14th Street and look for the house that's on fire."
     
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    With several years of Army National Guard duty under his belt, my roommate applied for officer training. But his lifelong dreams were dashed after he failed the eye exam.
    "That's too bad," I sympathized. "Does that mean you now have to quit the Guard entirely?"
    "No, I get to keep my old job," he said. "Driving trucks."
     
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    You didn't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out that a customer at our post office was an off-duty mail clerk from another plant.
    He'd written on his package, "Fragile: Toss Underhand."
     
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    WOW! Check out this and other amazing finds.
    What Happened To The Iconic Navajo Blanket From Antiques Roadshow? - YouTube
     
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    Same deal with Hungary. My Godson, whose grandfather was born there,
    now  has a Hungarian passport and is considered a EU citizen.
     
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    Girl Uses Slingbow To Pull Out Tooth - YouTube
     
     
     
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    June 25th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (Philippines) Christian feast day: David of Munktorp Eurosia Maximus (Massimo) of Turin Philipp Melanchthon (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) Presentation of the Augsburg Confession (Lutheran) Prosper of Aquitaine Prosper of Reggio William of Montevergine June 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Mozambique from Portugal in 1975. National Catfish Day (United States) Statehood Day (Slovenia) Statehood Day (Virginia) Teacher's Day (Guatemala) World Vitiligo Day  
    Observances
    Global Beatles Day
    National Strawberry Parfait Day
    Color TV Day
    UK Armed Forces Day
    Goats Cheese Day
    International Day of the Seafarer
    National Leon Day
    ARRL Field Day
    Bourdain Day
    Croatia Independence Day
    Midsummer Day
    National Camp Counts Day
    National Croatian Wine Day
    The Day of the Filipino Seafarer
    Mckenna Grace
    La La Anthony
    George Michael
     
    Fun Observances
     Please Take my Children to Work Day
    Please Take my Children to Work Day first began as a tongue-in-cheek holiday for overworked and tired stay-at-home mothers to take a day off from their routines. The holiday is celebrated annually on June 25.

    Today, as times have changed, this day applies to any parent who would like to take a break from their parental duties.
    The unofficial holiday, which is not be confused with Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, was created in 2003 by Jen Singer of MommaSaid.net - a parenting blog. The holiday encourages friends and family to take care of the children so that the stay-at-home parent can have some time to relax and rejuvenate.
    The holiday is also sometimes celebrated on June 30 or on the last Monday of June.
    How to Celebrate?
    Being a stay-at-home parent can be one of most rewarding as well as an exhausting experience for parents. This unofficial holiday is a great excuse for them to take a break and enjoy some much-needed me-time. Here are some ways to celebrate it:
    Ask friends or family members to look after your children for the day. And if they can't, hire a babysitter and take the day off to pamper yourself. Go to the spa or take the day to go to the movies or shop or do anything else that you may not be able to do on a normal day. If you know someone who is a stay-at-home parent, take this day to show your appreciation of them. Do something nice for them - take them out for an adults-only lunch or volunteer to babysit their children so that they can have some much needed time to themselves. Did You Know…
    …that a new-born child has 300 bones while a fully grown adult has 206? The bones fuse together as the child grows.
     
     
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    She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor.
    One day she said, "You know what kills me ... ?"
    Smiling, Mark teased, "Apparently nothing."
     
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    In the midst of a creative writing assignment we were doing in class, I asked my first-grade students to come up with a good name for the main character.
    "Chicago," called out one student.
    "Actually, I was looking for more of a Christian name," I said.
    "St. Louis!" he yelled back.
     
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    "Does anyone in this room need to be dismissed from jury duty?" my father, a judge, asked a roomful of prospective jurors.
    A nervous young man stood up. "I'd like to be dismissed," he said.
    "And why is that?"
    "My wife is about to conceive."
    Slightly taken aback, Dad responded, "I believe, sir, you mean 'deliver.' But either way, I agree. You should be there."
     
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    Snail mail, I decided, is definitely dead. Before I left on a trip to Alaska, I promised my five-year-old grandson, "I'll write you a letter when I get there."
    "Okay," he said. "I'd like an A."
     
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    Common raccoon dog - Wikipedia
     
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    June 24th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Army Day or Battle of Carabobo Day (Venezuela) Bannockburn Day (Scotland) Christian feast day: María Guadalupe García Zavala Nativity of Saint John the Baptist June 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Caboclo (Amazonas, Brazil) Inti Raymi, a winter solstice festival and a New Year in the Andes of the Southern Hemisphere (Sacsayhuamán) St John's Day and the second day of the Midsummer celebrations (although this is not the astronomical summer solstice, see June 20) (Roman Catholic Church, Europe), and its related observances: Enyovden (Bulgaria) Jaanipäev (Estonia) Jāņi (Latvia) Jónsmessa (Iceland) Midsummer Day (England) Saint Jonas' Festival or Joninės (Lithuania) Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day (Quebec) Sânziene (western Carpathian Mountains of Romania) Wattah Wattah Festival (Philippines) Fors Fortuna, ancient Roman festival to Fortuna  
    Observances
    International Fairy Day
    National Upcycling Day
    National Pralines Day
    Cream Tea Day
    Farmer Day
    Matariki
    National Food Truck Day
    National Relationship Equity Day
    Vincy Mas in Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
    Tana Mongeau
    Stassi Schroeder
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
      Take Your Dog to Work Day
    Studies have shown that bringing pets to work can increase productivity. So, on a Friday in June, take your dog to work to celebrate Take Your Dog to Work Day.

    Celebrated annually since 1999 on the first Friday after Father’s Day in the United States, the unofficial holiday was created by Pet Sitters International as a way to encourage dog adoption and to celebrate the love and joy dogs bring to the lives of their pet parents.
    The week preceding this unofficial holiday is Take Your Pets to Work Week.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take your furry friend to work on this day. Make sure you let your co-workers know that you will be bringing your dog to work and clear it with anyone who may have allergies or other issues. Have your company organize a visit to the local dog shelter, or, better yet, let the local dog shelter come to your workplace with dogs that are in need of a loving home – you never know, some of your co-workers may adopt a dog! Did You Know…
    … that in ancient China, royals would carry little dogs in their sleeves to keep warm?
    ~~~~~~~
      Swim a Lap Day
    Dive into a pool and swim a lap or two for your health on June 24 or Swim a Lap Day. The unofficial holiday celebrates the ancient sport of swimming and encourages people to engage in it for the purpose of exercise.

    Humans have been swimming since antiquity for survival, recreation, and exercise. Historians and archaeologists have found cave paintings and written scripts that depict swimming as a common and enjoyable activity.
    Swimming emerged as a competitive sport in 19th century England, though there is historical evidence that the ancient Japanese were responsible for inventing it. Today, swimming is one of the most popular Olympic sports around the world and includes four kinds of swimming styles: the front crawl, backstroke, butterfly, and the breaststroke.
    Swim your Way to Health
    Studies have shown that swimming offers many health benefits. Because a swimmer uses all of his or her muscles while swimming, the activity is considered to be an excellent all-around workout. Not only does it burn substantial amounts of calories, it also increases heart activity and builds muscle strength. In addition, swimming can reduce stress and help people relax.
    In young children, swimming can help build posture, increase coordination, and flexibility, and can help with motor development.
    How to Celebrate?
    This one's easy: get into your swim gear, take a dip in your local pool, and swim a lap or 2. If you prefer, go swim in a lake, river, or the sea. Make sure you take all the necessary precautions one must take when swimming in nature. If you have never learned to swim, today is just the day to begin. Many community pools hold adult swimming classes. Join them and get started. Organize a pool party with family and friends and have your own mini-swim meet. Have children? Take a class on pool safety and how to supervise kids around pools and other bodies of water. Did You Know…
    …that swimming is the only sport that could save a life?
     
    ***
     
    Martians land on Earth, and the first thing they do is seek out a doctor to discuss reproduction.

    "Martian forms come down an assembly line, and robots add the head, arms, and legs," the head Martian begins. "At the end of the line, they receive a power surge that activates them, and they walk away to their first assignment. Now, how do you humans do it?" The doctor whispers in the Martian’s ear. His eyes grow huge in disbelief.

    "That’s incredible," he says.

    "Why?" asks the doctor.

    "Because that’s how we build cars."
     
    ***
     
    I’d just sat down at a Manhattan diner when I noticed schav on the menu. Since I hadn’t had a bowl of the cold, sour soup in quite a while, I ordered some.

    "We don’t have it today," said the waitress.

    "Oh, you have it only on certain days?" I asked.

    "No, we never have it."

    I was confused. "Then why is it on the menu?"

    "Oh," she said with a shrug, "some people like it."
     
    ***
     
    Experience is a great teacher, especially if it’s someone else who’s learning from his mistakes. These examples were sent to learnfrommyfail.failblog.org:
    "When holding a DVD in one hand and food in the other, remember which hand has what when you take a bite."
    "When running errands where one stop involves going to a bank and one involves dropping off a firearm, drop off the firearm first."
    "If you’re prone to impulse purchases, stick to shoes, not tattoos."
    "When attending a funeral, never clap after the eulogy, regardless of how meaningful and heartfelt it was."
     
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    After I was widowed, I moved to Wales. My neighbor asked me where my husband was. "He’s gone to a better place," I said.
    She looked amazed. "Better than Wales?"
     
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    http://www.funsalot.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/aa44-3.jpg  
     
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    Johnny Cash's Love Letter To June Carter Cash Is One For The Ages | HuffPost Life
     
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    June 23rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Æthelthryth Marie of Oignies Joseph Cafasso June 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Father's Day (Nicaragua, Poland) Grand Duke's Official Birthday (Luxembourg) International Widows Day (international)[34] National Day of Remembrance for Victims of Terrorism (Canada) Okinawa Memorial Day (Okinawa Prefecture) Saint John's Eve and the first day of the Midsummer celebrations [although this is not the real summer solstice; see June 20] (Roman Catholic Church, Europe😞 Bonfires of Saint John (Spain) First night of Festa de São João do Porto (Porto) First day of Golowan Festival (Cornwall) Jaaniõhtu (Estonia) Jāņi (Latvia) Kupala Night (Belarus, Lithuania, Poland, Russia, Ukraine) Last day of Drăgaica fair (Buzău, Romania) United Nations Public Service Day (International) Victory Day (Estonia)  
    Observances
    National Porridge Day
    National Let It Go Day
    International Women in Engineering Day
    National Hydration Day
    National Pecan Sandies Day
    National Pink Day
    Lilliana Ketchman
    Brawadis
     
    Fun Observances
    Typewriter Day
    June 23, the anniversary of the granting of a patent to American inventor Christopher Latham Sholes in 1868 is celebrated around the world as Typewriter Day. So, take out your old typewriter from the attic, dust it and get started on your magnum opus!

    A typewriter is a mechanical device that allows users to type directly on a sheet of paper. While many people had been working on different prototypes of typewriters before 1868, Christopher Latham Sholes' typewriter was the first one to be commercially marketed. Known as the Sholes and Glidden typewriter or the Remington 1 typewriter, the device could only type uppercase letters.
    Revolutionary Device
    Typewriters revolutionized the world of communications. Letters and correspondences looked more professional, followed a consistent format, and were more legible when typed out on a typewriter compared to handwritten communications that dominated the workplace in the past. In addition to creating an efficient and more organized workspace, the use of typewriters in businesses and governments worldwide meant that typing became a required skill for many jobs. A large percentage of these jobs were administrative in nature and were usually done by women, who were specifically hired for their typing skills - the typewriter played a very important role in opening up workspaces for women.
    How to Celebrate?
    Organize a typewriting contest – whoever types the fastest and with the least number of errors wins. Show your typewriter pride by wearing typewriter-shaped jewelry. Avoid using your computer and email, type letters and send them in the post or mail. Did You Know…
    …that most typewriters and computers today share the same keyboard layout?
     
     
    ***
     
    The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my computer?"

    I asked. "The hard drive crashed."

    "We can't just send people down on your say-so," said the specialist. "How do you know that's the problem?"

    "A student told me."

    "We'll send someone right over."    
    ***
     
    When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog." As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats."    
    ***
     
    While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated.

    "Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."

    Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded, "Take your pick."
     
    ***
     
    When my very pregnant niece, a sergeant in the New York Army National Guard, accidentally knocked over a glass of water, one of her soldiers volunteered to help clean it up. As he was mopping up the mess, an officer walked in.

    "Private, what's going on in here?" he asked.

    To the officer's horror, the private replied, "Sir, the sergeant's water broke, and I'm helping her clean up."    
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    June 22nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aaron of Aleth Alban, first recorded Martyr in Britain (commemoration, Anglicanism)[34] Blessed Pope Innocent V Eusebius of Samosata (Eastern Orthodox Church) John Fisher (Catholic Church) Nicetas of Remesiana Paulinus of Nola Thomas More (Catholic Church) June 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Anti-Fascist Struggle Day (Croatia) Day of Remembrance of the Victims of the Great Patriotic War (Belarus)[35] Father's Day (Guernsey, Isle of Man, and Jersey) Teachers' Day (El Salvador) Windrush Day (UK)  
    Observances
    World Rainforest Day
    National Kissing Day
    B Kinder Day
    National Chocolate Eclair Day
    Positive Media Day
    Glastonbury Festival
    National HVAC Tech Day
    Zach Clayton
    Elizabeth Warren
     
    Fun Observances
    Onion Ring Day
    Celebrate the delicious deep fried snack on June 22, Onion Ring Day.

    Commonly found on most bar menus in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia, onion rings are made by breading and deep frying rings of onions. Onion rings are usually served with ketchup or some other form of dip or sauce.
    Found Around the World
    Some food historians believe that this snack was first created sometime in the 1930s in the United States, though versions of the dish can be found in many other parts of the world. In India for example, strips of onions are battered and fried and then served as a roadside snack.
    A blooming onion is a whole onion that is cut in a shape of a flower and then battered and deep fried. This version of a fried onion was first served in the late 1980s in a chain restaurant in the United States.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have onion rings for all your meals. Make it more interesting by creating different dipping sauces for each meal. Health conscious? What about baking onion rings instead of deep-frying them? Did You Know…
    …that people in Libya consume more onions than people in any other country?
     
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    Imagine my surprise when I went to Tipler Army Medical Center for a heart bypass operation and discovered my surgeon's name was Dr. Eror.
    "What a name for a doctor," I said, not sure whether to laugh or cry.
    "Yeah," he agreed. "You can imagine the reaction I got when I was a major."
     
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    On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. "Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently.
    After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust."You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer."
     
    ***
     
    A co-worker returned after lunch carrying a dress from the cleaners. "Pretty," said one of the guys. "Big date tonight?"
    "I picked it up for a friend," she replied, adding, "Do you really think I could fit in a tiny thing like this?"
    Jerry smiled and said, "Do you really think I've lived this long by answering questions like that?"
     
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    My wife left the car unattended for only a minute, but it was long enough for our two-year-old to climb in, throw the car into reverse and crash into a lamppost. He was fine, but the car wasn't, and I had a hard time explaining who was behind the wheel to the insurance company.
    After a pause, the adjuster asked, "Do you let him drive often?"
     
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    June 21st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Alban of Mainz Aloysius Gonzaga[45] Engelmund of Velsen Martin of Tongres Onesimos Nesib (Lutheran) June 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the Martyrs (Togo) Father's Day (Egypt, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, Uganda, Pakistan, United Arab Emirates) Go Skateboarding Day International Yoga Day (international)[49] National Aboriginal Day (Canada) Solstice-related observances (see also June 20😞 Day of Private Reflection (Northern Ireland) International Surfing Day National Day (Greenland) We Tripantu, a winter solstice festival in the southern hemisphere. (Mapuche, southern Chile) Willkakuti, an Andean-Amazonic New Year (Aymara) Fête de la Musique World Humanist Day (Humanism) World Hydrography Day (international)  
    Observances
    National Smoothie Day
    Worldwide Knit in Public Day
    World Giraffe Day
    National Selfie Day
    World Music Day
    World Motorcycle Day
    National Peaches ‘N’ Cream Day
    Make Music Day
    National Cherry Tart Day
    National Arizona Day
    National Cookie Dough Day
    National Day of the Gong
    National Seashell Day
    National Yard Games Day
    Shades for Migraine
    Rebecca Black
    Max Schneider
     
    Fun Observances
     Daylight Appreciation Day
    On June 21, wear your flip-flops, put on your sunglasses, and step outdoors to enjoy some Sun, because it is Daylight Appreciation Day. The holiday was created by Solatube International as a way to raise awareness about the advantages of daylighting.

    Daylighting is the use of natural light to light up interior spaces. This can be done by simply opening windows and raising shades in a room or by constructing windows and adding reflective surfaces to them to allow the maximum amount of sunlight indoors.
    An Ancient Practice...
    Daylighting is an ancient practice and is highly recommended by architects, interior decorators and energy experts today, due to its health and energy saving benefits. Using natural light cuts down on energy and electricity costs. Studies have shown that daylighting in the workplace can help increase productivity, work performance, employee satisfaction and retention.
    ...With Health Benefits
    By connecting people with nature and the outdoors even when they are indoors, daylighting helps reduce stress. Studies have shown that people who spend time in a room lit with bright sunlight tend to be happier than those who spend a lot of time under artificial lights.
    Longest Day of the Year
    Daylight Appreciation Day is fittingly celebrated on the longest day of the year for Northern Hemisphere residents - in most years, the June Solstice occurs on June 21. In the Northern Hemisphere, the day is also called the Summer Solstice and is considered by many to be the first day of summer. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is the shortest day of the year and is thought to mark the first day of winter in the region.
    How to Celebrate?
    Speak to an architect or a civil engineer to find ways to daylight your indoor spaces. If you don't want to spend the time and money to make major structural changes to your place of work or home, what about taking some simple steps like opening the window, installing light colored drapes or curtains or applying a reflective surface to the window to let more natural sunlight in? If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, spend some time in the outdoors and appreciate the extended period of daylight. Maybe you could celebrate the day by hosting a BBQ and a pool party? Treat everyone with homemade creamsicles, iced tea and corn on the cob. Since it is also the June Solstice, why not spend the day participating in local solstice related events. Many cultures assign special significance to the solstices. Read about their traditions and participate in any local festivals or events marking the day. If you are a Southern Hemisphere dweller, make the most of the sunlight before peak winter sets in. Maybe host a soup party, where everyone brings warm soup to share? Serve warm and spiced wine to usher in the winter. Did You Know…
    …that daylighting designers and architects take into account the direction when deciding on where to build windows? South-facing windows let in a lot of winter sunlight but very little direct light in the summer. East- and west-facing windows, on the other hand, let in a lot of light during the morning and evenings but also tend to cause glare.
     
    ***
     
    "Where is Pearl Harbor?" I asked my fourth-grade history class. "Here’s a hint: It’s a place where everyone wants to go."

    One student blurted out, "Candy Land!"
     
    ***
     
    Workers at the Carlsberg brewery in Denmark walked off the job after losing a prized perk: unlimited beer at work. They now have to settle for three beers at lunch.
    A worker told the Wall Street Journal that wasn’t enough: "I need a beer when I take a cigarette break."
     
    ***
     
    On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough.

    "Kids," he said over the din, "if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me."

    Our six-year-old shot back: "Too late, I already got you another present."
     
    ***
     
    I took four tires to a friend’s garage sale and was asking $30 apiece. I needed to leave for a few minutes, so I asked him to watch them for me.

    "Sure," he said, "but if someone offers less, how low are you willing to go?"

    "Try for more, but I will accept $15," I said, and left.

    When I returned, my tires were gone. "How much did you get for them?" I asked excitedly.

    "Fifteen dollars each."

    "Who bought them?"

    "I did!"
     
    ***
     
    This diving suit was used in 1920s France and even included a telephone
     

     
    The deep sea has always been a source of fascination for us human beings, exploration seeming so tantalizingly possible and yet out of reach. For this reason, we have as a species long sought to explore the seafloor with diving suits. In the early 20th century there was tremendous interest in building those exploratory suits, including the Neufeldt-Kuhnke which spawned yet more variations.
     
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    Sometimes even the best intentions.......
     
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    June 20th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Adalbert of Magdeburg Florentina John of Matera Blessed Margareta Ebner Methodius of Olympus Pope Silverius June 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of the National Flag (Argentina) Earliest possible date for the summer solstice in the Northern hemisphere and the winter solstice in the Southern hemisphere, and its related observance: Earliest day on which Day of the Finnish Flag can fall, while June 26 is the latest; celebrated on Saturday of Midsummer's Day (Finland) International Surfing Day (third Saturday in June, on or near Summer solstice) Litha / Midsummer celebrations in the northern hemisphere, Yule in the southern hemisphere. Gas Sector Day (Azerbaijan) Martyrs' Day (Eritrea) West Virginia Day (West Virginia) World Refugee Day (International)  
    Observances
    Juneteenth
    National American Eagle Day
    National Take Your Cat to Work Day
    Ugliest Dog Day
    Bald Eagle Appreciation Day
    International Nystagmus Day
    National Hike with a Geek Day
    National Ice Cream Soda Day
    National Kouign Amann Day
    National Vanilla Milkshake Day
    World Productivity Day
    Nicole Kidman
    Capri Bryant
     
    ***
     
    My friend had been pounding the pavement in search of a job with no luck. Frustrated, she asked her dad to look at her résumé. He didn't get much further than the first line of her cover letter before spotting the problem.

    "Is it too generic?" she asked.

    "I doubt it," said her father.

    "Especially since it's addressed 'Dear Sir or Madman.'"
     
    ***
     
    Someone advertising on Craigslist said she was well suited for child care. After all, she had plenty of experience in "CPR and Choking Children."
     
    ***
     
    When a woman applies for a job at a citrus grove, the foreman asks, "Do you have any experience picking lemons?"

    "Well," she answers, "I've been divorced three times."
     
    ***
     
    When asked her opinion on punctuality, an applicant for an office job assured me she thought it was extremely important.
    "I use periods, commas, and question marks all the time," she said.
     
    ***
     
    Louie and his wife are listening to the radio when they hear the weather report: "A snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street.” So Louie gets up and moves his car.

    Two days later—same thing. "A snow emergency has been declared,” blares the radio. "Park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street.” Louie gets up and does what he’s told.

    Three days later: "There will be a foot of snow today. Park your cars on the ...,” and then the power goes out.

    "What should I do?” a confused Louie asks his wife.

    "This time,” she says, "why don’t you just leave the car in the garage?”
     
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    " A (the) secret ingredient? "
     
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    June 19th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Deodatus (or Didier) of Nevers (or of Jointures) Gervasius and Protasius (Catholic Church) Hildegrim of Châlons Juliana Falconieri Romuald Ursicinus of Ravenna Zosimus June 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) New Church feast day New Church Day Day of the Independent Hungary (Hungary) Feast of Forest (Palawan) Juneteenth (United States)[27] Labour Day (Trinidad and Tobago) Laguna Day (Laguna) Birthday of Jose Gervasio Artigas (Uruguay)[28] World Sickle Cell Day (International)  
    Observances
    World Martini Day
    National Garfield the Cat Day
    Burghfield BoxKart Bash Day
    National Turkey Lovers’ Day
    Father's Day
    International Box Day
    International Day for the Elimination of Sexual Violence in Conflict
    National Watch Day
    Tommie Lee
    Symonne Harrison
     
    Fun Observances
     Sauntering Day
    June 19 is Sauntering Day, an annual holiday that reminds people to pause, take a stock of their busy schedules, and slow down for a bit. And because the day has the word sauntering in it, it also encourages everyone to take a leisurely walk.

    The unofficial holiday is the brainchild of W.T. Rabe, who created it at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, Michigan in the late 1970s. Rabe invented Sauntering Day as a response to the rising popularity of jogging, and to inspire people to slow down the pace of their lives and unwind.
    How to Celebrate?
    Take your lunchtime or leave a little early from work to take a stroll in a park close to you. Saunter down to your local coffee shop with a book in hand and spend some time people watching while drinking coffee. Don't want to saunter? No worries. This holiday is all about getting away from the daily grind and finding a way to relax. Whether you chill at home with a glass of wine and a movie marathon on the TV or take a stroll around your neighborhood, remember to enjoy yourself! Did You Know…
    …that for average walkers, walking 1 mile or 1.6 kilometers can burn up to 100 calories? So, why not saunter your way to health?
     
    ***
     
    A soldier in my National Guard platoon became concerned when the Army insisted that he sign up for direct deposit.

    "It’s not going to work for me," he said, panicked.

    "Why not?" I asked.

    "Because I use my Guard pay for spending money."

    "So?"

    "For the past ten years, I’ve been telling my wife that I serve for free!"
     
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    Our grandson’s scoutmaster must have fainted when he saw what he’d texted to his troop’s parents: "Scouts 7:00 Sharp at the Church. We will finish up Aviation, Cycling, and Gynecology Merit Badges."

    That was followed by this message three minutes later: "Change of Plans. We will not be finishing up the Gynecology Merit Badge. Instead, it will be the Genealogy Merit Badge."
     
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    After setting off the alarms at airport security, I was escorted behind a curtain. As two female officials "wanded" me, the senior officer gave instructions to the trainee on proper technique: first down the front of my body, then up the back of me, and—much to my embarrassment—up between my legs.

    After she was done, her boss congratulated her.

    "Great job," she said. "Now do it again. But this time, try turning on the wand."
     
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    After my ten-year-old daughter declared her disgust with cosmetic surgery, I dropped a bomb on her. "Don’t be too quick to judge," I told her. "Before college, I had a nose job." She was completely thrown.
    "You mean," she said, "it was bigger?"
     
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    ***
     

     
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    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    ***
     

     
    sandrewn
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