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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 321
    June 18th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Autistic Pride Day (International) Christian feast day: Bernard Mizeki (Anglican and Episcopal Church) Elisabeth of Schönau Gregorio Barbarigo Leontius, Hypatius and Theodulus Marina the Monk (Maronite Church, Coptic Orthodox Church of Alexandria) Mark and Marcellian June 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Foundation Day (Benguet) Human Rights Day (Azerbaijan) National Day (Seychelles)[32] Queen Mother's Birthday (Cambodia) Waterloo Day (United Kingdom)  
    Observances
    International Sushi Day
    National Go Fishing Day
    International Surfing Day
    Clean Your Aquarium Day
    National Splurge Day
    Artigas Birthday
    International Day for Countering Hate Speech
    National Cherry Tart Day
    National Dog Dad Day
    National Wanna Get Away Day
    Sustainable Gastronomy Day
    Wear BLUE Day
    Josh Dun
    Blake Shelton
     
    Fun Observances ( 3 )
     World Juggling Day
    World Juggling Day is held annually on a Saturday closest to June 17 to commemorate the anniversary of the foundation of the International Jugglers Association (IJA) in 1975.

    The unofficial holiday was first observed in the mid-1980s as National Juggling Day in the United States in order to raise awareness of the art and science of juggling and to encourage people to take up the art.
    In 1995, the name of the day was changed to World Juggling Day in order to reflect the global reach of the IJA.
    How to Celebrate?
    Attend juggling contests, festivals, and shows where professional jugglers perform. Try your hand with juggling. Just make sure, you start with small items. So no knives or heavy items, ok? Did You Know…
    …that the earliest record of juggling objects dates back to 15th century Egypt?
    ~~~~~~~
      International Picnic Day
    International Picnic Day is a made-up holiday that is celebrated annually on June 18. So, pack your picnic basket, hop into the car, or walk to a park or a picnic area and enjoy an outdoors meal by yourself or with your family and friends to celebrate this unofficial holiday.

    International Picnic Day is a day to commune with nature and enjoy a lovely summer day if you are in the Northern Hemisphere. For those of you in the Southern Hemisphere, who says you can’t picnic indoors? Just spread a blanket in the middle of your living room. Maybe even create a pillow fort and enjoy some time with your family!
    A similar holiday is celebrated in the Australia’s Northern Territory on the first Monday of August each year. Picnic Day in this region is a public holiday.
    How to Celebrate?
    Plan a picnic and invite all your friends and family. If you are working, take your lunch hour off to have a picnic by yourself. Did You Know...
    ...that according to the Guinness Book of World Records, the world's largest picnic was held in Lisbon, Portugal on June 20, 2009? Over 22,000 people attended this picnic organized by Realizar Impact Marketing and Modelo.
    ~~~~~~~
      International Panic Day
    June 18 is International Panic Day. Use it as an excuse to panic about everything under the Sun, or take the day to evaluate your priorities and eliminate anything that causes you stress and anxiety.

     
    It is a fact of life that as we grow older, life can get complicated. This made-up holiday is an acknowledgment that work, finances, health and relationships can all sometimes get overwhelming and that it is necessary to take a pause once in a while and relax. The holiday encourages people to find ways to reduce and manage their stress.
    A similar holiday, called Panic Day is also sometimes observed on March 9.
    Harmful to Health
    Stress is not always a bad thing. In the short-term, stress is the body's response to threats. Stress hormones released in the body increase heartbeat and the flow of oxygen to the brain, and help an individual appropriately react and respond to the threat. However, in the long-term, anxiety and stress can be harmful to a person's physical, mental and social health. Chronic stress can negatively affect the heart, the immune system, and the digestive system. People with chronic stress are more likely to suffer from aches and pains, and may be at a higher risk for heart diseases, stroke, type II diabetes, and a weak immune system.
    Negative Social Impact
    Chronic stress can also lead to depression and other mental health issues. Studies have shown that people who are stressed tend to be socially withdrawn, and have trouble forging new and supportive relationships. This can lead to a vicious cycle – people who suffer from chronic stress need social and personal support to deal with their anxieties, but these very anxieties do not let them create strong and supportive social bonds.
    Keep Calm
    Managing stress is not easy, but with a little bit of determination and support, it can be done. Experts suggest that the first step to stress management is to recognize the sources of your anxieties. Once you have done that, find ways to either eliminate them or work on reducing your interaction with them. For example, if you are stressed because of a person, one way to help yourself is to find a way to reduce your interaction with her or him. If driving to work is stressing you out, ask your boss if you can work from home some days of the week?
    How to Observe?
    Take the day off and relax. It is for good reason that today is also International Picnic Day. What better way to relax and forget all your stresses than by going on a picnic? Go to the store and treat yourself to some aromatic candles. It has been shown that soothing music and pleasant smells can help reduce stress. Go for a long walk in the park and commune with nature. Read, get a new hobby or get involved in social activities. The more you are busy, the less time you will have to think about your stressors. Recruit a stress buddy – someone who can calm you and work through the futility of panicking with you. Every time you feel life is overwhelming you, call them and ask them for their help. Did You Know…
    …that the word panic is derived from the Greek word associated with the Greek shepherd god Pan? According to mythology, Pan amused himself by striking fear among travelers in the woods.
     
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    As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw a couple of people looking under the hood of their car. Concerned, Mom wondered aloud,
    "Do you think they have a flat tire?"
     
    ***
     
    A candy company’s sales team was promised a trip to sunny Hawaii this past winter if they met their sales quota. They missed their mark and instead got the consolation prize:
    a vacation in Fargo, North Dakota, where the temperature was 7 degrees.
     
    ***
     
    A month after Donald MacDonald started at Harvard, his mother called from Scotland. "And how are the American students, Donald?" she asked.

    "They’re so noisy," he complained. "One neighbor endlessly bangs his head against the wall, while another screams all night."

    "How do you put up with it?"

    "I just ignore them and play my bagpipes."
     
    ***
     
    My 18-year-old daughter and I were watching TV when a character with my maiden name—Lester Highsmith—was introduced. "I’ve never heard my name on TV before," I said.

    My daughter was equally surprised. "Your name used to be Lester?"
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 320
    June 17th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Albert Chmielowski Botolph (England and Scandinavia) Gondulphus of Berry Hervé Hypatius of Bithynia (Eastern Orthodox and Byzantine Catholic Churches) Rainerius Samuel and Henrietta Barnett (Church of England) June 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Father's Day (El Salvador, Guatemala) Icelandic National Day, celebrates the independence of Iceland from Kingdom of Denmark in 1944. National Day of Remembrance for the Victims of Forest Fires (Portugal)[32] Occupation of the Latvian Republic Day (Latvia) World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought (international)[33] Zemla Intifada Day (Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic)  
    Observances
    National Apple Strudel Day
    National Flip Flop Day
    Global Garbage Man Day
    National Take Back the Lunch Break Day
    World Tessellation Day
    Bunker Hill Day
    Commemoration of General Don Martín Miguel de Güemes
    National Dump the Pump Day
    National Mascot Day
    National Stewart’s Root Beer Day
    Nursing Assistants Day
    Paulina Rubio
    Lisa Mantler
     
    Fun Observances
    Eat Your Vegetables Day
    Whether you love your veggies or can’t stand them, you should celebrate Eat Your Vegetables Day on June 17. Why, you ask? Because the doctor says so, and because vegetables are delicious!

    If you can’t stand greens and veggies on your plate at a meal, maybe it is time to start today. Vegetables are healthy and full of vitamins, phytonutrients, fiber, and minerals. Eating vegetables every day can help reduce the risk of a variety of health problems, including type 2 diabetes, obesity, and some types of cancers. Doctors around the world recommend that people eat at least five portion or servings of vegetables during the day.
    How to Celebrate?
    This is an easy day to celebrate. Eat up your veggies today and make a resolution to add more greens and vegetables to your diet in the future. Here are some more ways you can celebrate Eat Your Vegetables Day:
    Visit your local farmer’s market and get some locally grown produce. Prepare all your favorite veggies for all your meals. Make your desserts using veggies. Have at least five vegetables today. Did You Know…
    …that onions are the world's most widely used vegetable?
     
    ***
     
    "How do you spell toad?" one of my first-grade students asked.

    "We just read a story about a toad," I said, then helped him spell it out: "T-O-A-D."

    Satisfied, he finished writing the story he'd begun, then read it aloud: "I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday."
     
    ***
     
    Not everyone has mastered the art of texting. Case in point:

    Mom: Stop at dollar store on way home and get lunch maggots.
    Me: Lunch maggots?
    Mom: Baffles.
    Mom: Baggies.
    Mom: Ziploc lunch Baggies.
    Mom: Spell-check is not helping me.
    Mom: By the way, this is Dad.
     
    ***
     
    Job hunting is stressful enough without having to answer these interview questions posed by hiring managers:

    "Rate yourself on a scale of one to ten how weird you are."

    "How many basketballs can you fit in this room?"

    "An apple costs 20 cents, an orange costs 40 cents, and a grapefruit costs 60 cents. How much is a pear?"

    "How many bottles of beer are consumed in the city each week?"
     
    ***
     
    Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions … lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had had it.

    "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked.

    "No," replied Terra.

    "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!"

    Terra was intrigued: "What was in the hole?"
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    BNread Crumbs 319
    June 16th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of Leonard P. Howell (Rastafari) Christian feast days: Aurelianus of Arles Aureus of Mainz (and his sister Justina) Benno Cettin of Oran Curig of Llanbadarn Ferreolus and Ferrutio George Berkeley and Joseph Butler (Episcopal Church) June 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Lutgardis Quriaqos and Julietta Engineer's Day (Argentina) Father's Day (Seychelles) International Day of the African Child (Organisation of African Unity) Martyrdom of Guru Arjan Dev (Sikhism) Sussex Day (Sussex) Youth Day (South Africa)  
    Observances
    World Tapas Day
    Fresh Veggies Day
    National Fudge Day
    Arborist Appreciation Day
    National Dump the Pump Day
    Corpus Christi
    Feast of Corpus Christi
    International Day of Family Remittancesd
    National Career Nurse Assistants Day
    World Sea Turtle Day
    Phil Mickelson
    Tupac's Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    Bloomsday
    Celebrated annually on June 16, Bloomsday celebrates the life and times of Irish author James Joyce.

    The name and the date of this unofficial holiday come from Joyce's epic novel, Ulysses. Published in 1922 as a novel, the book follows Leopold Bloom, an advertising agent as he goes about his day in Dublin on June 16, 1904. According to some sources, June 16, 1904 is the date when Joyce met his future wife Nora Barnacle.
    Controversial Book
    Considered to be one of the most defining works of modernist literature, Ulysses courted controversy when it was first came out in serial form in the American literary magazine, The Little Review. It was banned in the United States and the United Kingdom until the mid-1930s.
    Thought to have been first observed in 1924, fans of the novel re-enact the events that occur in the book as a way to celebrate this literary holiday.
    How to Celebrate?
    Participate in your local Bloomsday events. If there aren’t any such events, what about organizing one of your own? If you haven’t read the book, or it has been a while since you last read the book, maybe it is time to get a copy and read it. Did You Know…
    …that James Joyce suffered from cynophobia or the irrational fear of dogs?
     
     
    ***
     
    I was watching a marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another as an egg.

    I thought, Now, this could be interesting.
     
    ***
     
    Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:

    BFF: Best Friend Fainted
    BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
    CBM: Covered by Medicare
    FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers
    LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
    GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
     
    ***
     
    A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"

    "Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality—telling what’s real from what’s not."

    "Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?"

    "I’m Batman."
     
    ***
     
    One of the less difficult blanks to fill in on our job-agency application is "Position Wanted."
    One job seeker wrote "Sitting."
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 318
    June 15th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (Costa Rica) Christian feast day: Abraham of Clermont (or of St Cyriacus) Alice (or Adelaide) of Schaerbeek Augustine of Hippo (Eastern Orthodox Church) Blessed Albertina Berkenbrock Blessed Clement Vismara Edburga of Winchester Evelyn Underhill (Church of England and The Episcopal Church) Germaine Cousin Landelin (of Crespin or of Lobbes) Trillo Vitus (Guy), Modestus and Crescentia June 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Valdemar and Reunion Day (Flag Day) (Denmark) Engineer's Day (Italy) Global Wind Day (international) National Beer Day (United Kingdom) National Salvation Day (Azerbaijan)  
    Observances
    National Lobster Day
    World Elder Abuse Awareness Day
    Magna Carta Day
    National Smile Power Day
    National Bug Busting Day
    National Megalodon Day
    National Prune Day
    National Smile Power Day
    Sneak A Kiss
    Ice Cube
    Courteney Cox
     
    Fun Observances
    Nature Photography Day
    June 15 is Nature Photography Day. The North American Nature Photography Association (NANPA) created the day in 2006 as a way to encourage people to learn and enjoy capturing the beauty of nature through their cameras.

    The day also promotes conservation through photography.
    Nature photography is a branch of photography that is devoted to taking pictures of natural elements including landscapes, geological formations, and flora and fauna in their natural habitats and in zoos. As a rule, nature photography does not include photographing human subjects, though some exceptions can be made depending on the situation.
    Preserving Nature's Bounties
    NANPA is a non-profit organization based in the United States that promotes nature photography as a way to preserve and conserve nature and to promote appreciation of the bounties of our natural environment.
    How to Celebrate?
    Find the sunrise and sunset times for your location to capture nature in the magical golden hour, or the special blue hour. Find out more about how to take pictures during sunrise and sunset, and how to take pictures of the Moon and its surroundings. Join a photography club and participate in any events they may have on this day. Take a hike with your family and friends and take in the nature around you, while capturing the scenes with your camera. Share your favorite outdoorsy picture on social media. Volunteer time and money to a local conservation organization. Did You Know…
    …the largest flower in the world is the Rafflesia arnoldii? Found in the rainforests of Indonesia, the flower can grow up to 3 feet (0.914 meters) across.
     
     
    ***
     
    An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Peterson," she says. "Would you say you're honest?"

    "Honest?" replies Peterson. "Let me tell you something about honesty. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case." "Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

    "Dad sued me for the money."
     
    ***
     
    One friend complained to another, "All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds."

    "If it's that bad, why don't you just leave him?" asked the second friend.

    "I'd like to lose another 15 pounds first."
     
    ***
     
    When I took my school-age daughters to a lunch with veterans, I told them to ask questions. One of the men said he’d fought in the Korean War, and the girls were so impressed that the eldest wanted to know more: "Did you fight for the North or the South?"
     
    ***
     
    Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank?
    After they were caught, they finished each other’s sentences.
     
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    At one point, we used to be able to buy cigarettes while lying in our hospital beds.
    What other medical practices will fall by the wayside in 30 years?
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 317
    June 14th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Burchard of Meissen Caomhán of Inisheer Elisha (Roman Catholic and Lutheran) Fortunatus of Naples (Roman Catholic) Blessed Francisca de Paula de Jesus (Nhá Chica) Joseph the Hymnographer (Roman Catholic: Orthodox April 3) Methodios I of Constantinople Quintian of Rodez (Rodez) Richard Baxter (Church of England)[49] Valerius and Rufinus June 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commemoration of the Soviet Deportation related observances: Baltic Freedom Day (United States) Commemoration Day for the Victims of Communist Genocide (Latvia)[50][51][52] Mourning and Commemoration Day or Leinapäev (Estonia) Mourning and Hope Day (Lithuania) Day of Memory for Repressed People (Armenia) Flag Day (United States) Freedom Day (Malawi) Liberation Day (Falkland Islands and South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands) World Blood Donor Day  
    Observances
    National Cupcake Day
    International Bath Day
    National Call Your Doctor Day
    Army Birthday
    International Bath Day
    Monkey Around Day
    National Forklift Safety Day
    National New Mexico Day
    National Pop Goes The Weasel Day
    National Strawberry Shortcake Day
    Tzuyu
    Lucy Hale
     
    Fun Observances
    Bourbon Day
    June 14 is Bourbon Day. So, set aside some time in the day to enjoy a glass of the uniquely American distilled liquor.

    Bourbon is a type of whiskey that is made from corn and rye or wheat, and aged in charred oak barrels. Although it is usually associated with Kentucky - about 90% of the world's bourbon is made in the state - bourbon is distilled all over the United States. In fact, for a whiskey to be considered bourbon it must be made in the US, have at least 51% corn and should not contain any artificial flavors or coloring. The higher the percentage of corn, the sweeter the whiskey is.
    Mysterious Origins
    There is some dispute as to why the whiskey is called bourbon. Some people believe that it comes from Bourbon Street in New Orleans, Louisiana, while others think that the whiskey is named after Bourbon County in Kentucky. The origins of the beverage are equally mysterious. A Baptist minister called Elijah Craig is sometimes credited as being the first person in the US to make bourbon.
    A Connoisseur's Drink
    Because of its bold flavors, bourbon is a niche drink - people either love it or hate it. Experts suggest that beginners mix it with water or on the rocks. Many people enjoy bourbon in a cocktail. Some popular bourbon mixed drinks are bourbon sour, old fashioned, and mint julep.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have never tasted bourbon, today is the perfect excuse to try it. Have a friend who is knowledgeable about the whiskey help you. Have a bourbon tasting party. Ask guests to bring a bottle of bourbon from a specific region or brand and then get around with some good eats and start tasting. Have a rating sheet and have everyone rate the bourbon they taste. Like many other liquors, bourbon can be used to flavor many dishes. For instance, you could make a bourbon pecan pie or add some bourbon to your chocolate milkshake. Did You Know...
    ...that the oak barrels used to age the whiskey can only be used once? After a batch of bourbon has been aged, the barrels can be used to store other liquors like tequila, scotch or beer, but never bourbon again.
     
     
    ***
     
    "What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?" I asked my husband.
    He thought for a minute before responding,
    "An optimist is the guy who created the airplane. A pessimist is the guy who created the parachute."
     
    ***
     
    My 17-year-old niece was looking for a job, so her mother scoured the want ads with her. "Here's one. A couple are looking for someone to watch their two kids and do light housekeeping."

    "Hel-looo!" said my niece, rolling her eyes. "I can't take that job. I don't know anything about lighthouses."
     
    ***
     
    A German, looking for directions in Paris, pulls up to a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.

    "Entschuldigung, sprechen Sie Deutsch?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.

    "Parlez-vous français?" he says.

    The two continue to stare, so the German tries again "Parlate italiano?"

    No response. "¿Hablan ustedes español?" Still nothing. Frustrated, the German guy drives off.

    The first American says, "You know, we should learn a foreign language."

    "Why?" asks the other. "He knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
     
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    I dressed up my dog as a mailman for Halloween.
    He bit himself.
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 316
    June 13th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Anthony of Padua, Doctor of the Church Aquilina Cetteus (Peregrinus) Felicula G. K. Chesterton (Episcopal Church (USA)) Gerard of Clairvaux Psalmodius Ragnebert (Rambert) Blessed Thomas Woodhouse Triphyllius June 13 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Inventors' Day (Hungary) Suleimaniah City Fallen and Martyrs Day (Iraqi Kurdistan) International Albinism Awareness Day (international)[  
    Observances
    World Softball Day
    International Axe Throwing Day
    Eat Flexitarian Day
    International Community Association Managers Day
    Holy Spirit Monday
    Maharana Pratap Jayanti
    National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day
    National Weed Your Garden Day
    Random Acts of Light Day
    Mary-Kate Olsen
    Steve-O
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Jun 13th, 2022 - Sun Jun 19th, 2022
    Meet A Mate Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Sewing Machine Day
    They say a stitch in time saves nine. So, on June 13, Sewing Machine Day, dust off your sewing machine and sew away!

    The unofficial holiday celebrates the day in 1790 when English inventor Thomas Saint received a patent for the very first sewing machine design. However, it took 14 more years before the first working sewing machine was created in 1804, and another 15 years before sewing machines became easily accessible to consumers.
    Agents of Social Change
    The invention of sewing machines made the process of sewing easier, faster and more streamlined. In addition, the manufacturing of sewing machines for household use meant that women who spent a majority of time sewing, stitching and mending clothes by hand could now do all these tasks in a matter of hours instead of days and weeks. This gave them more time to seek paid employment. In this way, the sewing machine had a huge hand to play in the economic and social progress of women around the world.
    Sewing Machine Day is also celebrated by some people on September 10.
    How to Celebrate?
    Bring out your sewing machine to sew a new pattern. If you have always wanted to learn how to sew, now is the time to start learning. Have a sewing party – invite friends to teach you new patterns or exchange your creations with them. Did You Know...
    ...that the earliest sewing needles were made of bones and stone?
     
     
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    Cops had no trouble tracking down a woman who allegedly shoplifted from a Toronto-area store. A few minutes earlier, she had interviewed for a job there and left her résumé.
     
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    My husband and I were watching Forrest Gump at the base theater. The crowd was pretty quiet throughout the film, until the scene when Forrest graduates from college and is met by an Army recruiter. That was met with a shout from behind us: "Run, Forrest, run!"
     
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    My wife is a by-the-recipe baker. But that attention to detail still hasn't made her chocolate chip cookies taste any better. One day, after the cookies had been in the oven a while, I smelled a familiar odor.
    "They're burning," I shouted.
    "I know," she said nonchalantly. "Aren't you going to take them out?"
    "No. They still have six minutes."
     
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    From our local TV news station, this undeniably true travel suggestion:
    "Next up, ten money-saving tips for your trip to Hawaii. Don't go away!"
     
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    sandrewn
  7. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 315
    June 12th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Chaco Armistice Day (Paraguay) Christian feast day: 108 Martyrs of World War II Basilides, Cyrinus, Nabor and Nazarius Blessed Hildegard Burjan Enmegahbowh (Episcopal Church) Eskil First Ecumenical Council (Lutheran) Gaspar Bertoni John of Sahagún Onuphrius Pope Leo III Ternan June 12 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Dia dos Namorados (Brazil) Helsinki Day (Finland) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of the Philippines from Spain in 1898. June 12 Commemoration (Lagos State) Loving Day (United States) Russia Day (Russia) World Day Against Child Labour, and its related observances: Children's Day (Haiti)  
    Observances
    Superman Day
    International Falafel Day
    National Peanut Butter Cookie Day
    National Children’s Day
    National Jerky Day
    Race Unity Day
    Raggedy Ann and Andy Day
    Trinity Sunday
    White Nights Festival in St. Petersburg
    Dave Franco
    Adriana Lima
     
    Fun Observances
    Red Rose Day
    June 12 is Red Rose Day. It is an annual celebration of the universal symbol of love and romance - the humble, but beautiful red rose.

    Communicate Emotions
    People have been using roses to communicate a variety of emotions and feelings since antiquity. The earliest evidence of rose cultivation dates back to about 5000 years ago in China. In ancient Greece and Rome, roses were a luxury item, available only to the rich and the royals, and a muse for painters and writers. Roses were used for medicinal purposes and for religious ceremonies.
    The popularity of the rose declined with the spread of Christianity in Europe. It was seen as a symbol of depravity and decadence, vices that did not match up with the puritanical roots of the religion. By the 5th and 6th century CE, the rose had once again caught the fascination of artists, poets and writers in Europe and in the Middle East.
    Symbol of War and Love
    In the 15th century, factions battling in England over the throne adopted the rose as their symbol. The white rose was the symbol for York and the red rose for Lancaster. The resulting war was called the War of the Roses, which was eventually won by the supporters of the red rose.
    Red roses have held a symbolic place in most cultures around the world. In many parts of the world, it is seen as a way to express love, romance, beauty, and respect. Red roses are some of the most popular flowers gifted during holidays like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. It is also the symbol of social democratic parties in many countries.
    In Spanish, French, and Portuguese, rose is the word for red.
    How to Celebrate?
    Treat yourself or a loved one to a big bunch of red roses. Learn more about the history and botany of roses. If you have a garden or a yard, why not take this day to learn more about how to grow red roses? Spend some time reading about the War of the Roses. Did You Know...
    ...that the phrase sub rosa, meaning secrecy, comes from the practice in ancient Rome of leaving a rose outside a door during a confidential meeting? The rose indicated that those in the room did not want to be disturbed.
     
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    Experience is a great teacher, especially when it's someone else's. These examples were submitted to learnfrommyfail.com:

    "When trying to compliment your girlfriend, tell her that she is prettier than her sister, not that her sister is uglier than she is."

    "Never name a goldfish after your child, or his younger brother might go to school and tell his teacher that Eric died."

    "When a coworker calls to say she's going to be late because she 'has to wait for the paramedics,' don't respond, 'Okay. Have fun!'"

    "When your boyfriend is rehearsing for a play, don't tell your roommate that he is 'upstairs doing lines.'"
     
    ***
     
    A Brooklyn café is charging $12 for a cup of Ethiopian coffee. The drink doesn't have a name, so The Week asked its readers to do the honors.

    Mocha Dinero
    Cost-a-latte
    Brokefest Blend
    Excesso
    Ka-Ching-accino
    Goldbean Sachs
    Café au Laitaway     ***
     
    The toughest part of applying for a new job is having to explain why you're no longer at your previous one. Here are rationalizations from cover letters that did no one any good:

    "My boss thought I could do better elsewhere."

    "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."

    "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job hopping.' I have never quit a job."

    "Responsibilities make me nervous."
     
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    Before he was deployed to Afghanistan, my brother Ken was lamenting over how many people seemed unaware of the conflict. I had to concede his point when I later mentioned to a neighbor that he was leaving for Afghanistan.

    "Really?" he said. "For business or pleasure?"
     
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    Sadly, Gail passed away on February 16, 2022 (aged 101)
    R.I.P.
    Gail Halvorsen - Wikipedia
     
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    June 11th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    American Evacuation Day (Libya) Brazilian Navy commemorative day (Brazil) Christian feast day: Barnabas the Apostle Bartholomew the Apostle (Eastern Christianity) Blessed Ignatius Maloyan (Armenian Catholic Church) Paula Frassinetti Riagail of Bangor June 11 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Davis Day (Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Canada) King Kamehameha I Day (Hawaii, United States) Student Day (Honduras)  
    Observances
    World Gin Day
    National Rosé Day
    International Yarn Bombing Day
    National German Chocolate Cake Day
    Worldwide Knit in Public Day
    Belmont Stakes
    National Making Life Beautiful Day
    Say Hi Day
    Kodak Black
    Claire Holt
     
    Fun Observances
    Corn on the Cob Day
    Summer is finally here, and what better way to celebrate it than with some delicious corn on the cob? Celebrate this popular summer side dish on Corn on the Cob Day, celebrated annually on June 11.

    A corn cob is the central woody part of maize or corn on which the corn grains are attached. Corn on the cob is a type of dish where the corn grains are cooked and eaten while still on the cob. Corn on the cob can be boiled, grilled, or roasted and served as a side dish or enjoyed as is.
    Never Served at Formal Occasions
    Because eating corn on the cob can be a messy affair - hands have to be used, the kernels tend to stick in one's teeth - etiquette rules that it should never be served at formal occasions or ordered on a first date. According to Emily Post, one of history's leading etiquette specialists, corn on the cob should not usually be served at lunch or dinner, but if it is, one must not "attack it ferociously or greedily".
    An Ancient Crop
    Corn or maize is an ancient plant native to the Americas. It is believed that corn was first cultivated in Mexico and spread around the world via European explorers in the 15th and 16th centuries. The starchy seeds or kernels of the plant are now used by millions of people around the world as their staple food.
    How to Celebrate?
    Get the grill out and grill some delicious corn on the cob to accompany the iced tea you made on June 10. If you are in the Southern Hemisphere, make some corn on the cob to remind you of the summer. Did You Know…
    …that a corncob is part of the corn plant's flower? The individual kernels are seeds of the plant.
     
     
    ***
     
    As I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I warned her, "After this, you can't have sex for at least three days."

    "Did you hear that?" she asked her husband. "No sex for three days."

    "I heard," he said. "But she was speaking to you
     
    ***
     
    Scene: A bookstore

    Customer: Can you help me find a book?

    Me: Of course. Do you know the author or title?

    Customer: Well, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it. I want that book.

    Me: Ma'am, you're going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.

    Customer: Can't you search on your computer for purple books?

    Me: Unfortunately, no.

    Customer: In that case, I'll take my business to a bookstore that has better computers.
     
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    The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop. Bass player Jared Followill couldn't say how many birds there were. "The last thing I was going to do was look up," he told CNN.
     
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    When my eight-year-old sister came to visit, I took a day off from my job at the Pentagon and showed her the Lincoln Memorial. There she saw a large block of text—273 words long—etched into the monument.

    "What's that?" she asked.

    "Lincoln's Gettysburg Address," I told her.

    "If that's his address, how does he get any mail?"
     
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    June 10th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Abolition Day (French Guiana) Army Day (Jordan) World Art Nouveau Day (Worldwide)[46] Christian feast day: Bardo Getulius, Amancius and Cerealus Guardian Angel of Portugal John of Tobolsk (Russian Orthodox Church) Landry of Paris Maurinus of Cologne Maximus of Aveia (or of Aquila) Maximus of Naples Olivia June 10 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Navy Day (Italy) Portugal Day, also Day of Camões (Portugal and the Portuguese communities) Reconciliation Day (Republic of the Congo)  
    Observances
    National Bae Day
    National Ballpoint Pen Day
    National Black Cow Day
    National Egg Roll Day
    National Herbs and Spices Day
    Theresa Caputo
    Taylor Armstrong
     
    Fun Observances
    Iced Tea Day
    June 10 is Iced Tea Day. Say hello to the summer and celebrate this delicious and refreshing holiday by treating yourself to a big glass of iced tea.

    Iced tea is a beverage made by cooling or chilling brewed tea. Generally served with ice, iced tea is a popular beverage around the world and is usually made from green or black tea.
    Iced tea can be served sweetened or unsweetened, plain or with added flavors - usually lemon or peach. Some countries, however, have their special version of this drink. In Brazil, it is made from Yerba Mate, while in Taiwan it is usually served with milk or condensed milk and tapioca pearls.
    Sun Tea
    In some parts of the world, iced tea is made by steeping the tea in water for a longer time at a lower temperature instead of boiling the tea with water. Usually, this is done by leaving the tea in the Sun to steep. This is known as sun tea.
    How to Celebrate?
    Mix up a fresh batch of ice tea and have your friends and family over to enjoy the day outdoors with some ice tea. Experiment with different flavors of ice teas. What about adding some summery fruits or perhaps some alcoholic liquor? In the Southern Hemisphere, and getting ready for the winter? Don't fret. Treat yourself to a tall glass of iced tea and enjoy the last few days of summer! Did You Know…
    …that tea is the second most popularly consumed beverage in the world? The first is water.
     
     
    ***
     
    I just saw an ad for a position I feel completely qualified for:
    "Wanted:
    bartenders. No exp. necessary. Must have: legal ID, phone, transportation, and teeth."
     
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    A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up.

    "Great," she said.

    I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.

    "I don't want this box," she said abruptly. "It's been opened."
     
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    As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.

    "You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.

    "Don't worry. Santa will never know."

    He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know the cookie fell on the floor?"
     
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    My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the Christmas pageant. All the third grader had to do was tell Joseph, "There is no room at the inn." But during the performance—after Joseph begged for a room for his pregnant wife—the boy didn't have the heart to turn him down. "Well," he said, "if it's so urgent, come on in."
     
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    The Protective Garment Corporation of New York must have had a lot of faith in not only their product, the bulletproof vest, but also in the abilities of this man shooting the gun. A live demonstration of their state-of-the-art lightweight police vest was held in 1923, where they shot at the salesman wearing one. We don’t know if they made a pair of bulletproof pants as well, but it wouldn’t be shocking if the assistant needed a new pair after each demonstration.
     
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    Store within a store

    This photo was taken in London in 1900 and shows what was probably the smallest store in the world ever. It was more like a storefront without the store behind it. But, though times require ingenuity and this man surely did not lack any. He opened a shoe shop in the window of a beverage store. After all, you might need a refreshing lemonade or soda water after trying on some shoes.
     
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    Mummies for sale

    After the Napoleon’s conquest of Egypt, Egyptian historic artifacts were made available to European market. Mummies could be purchased from the street vendors and European elite used to often throw “The Mummy Unwrapping Parties”. If that wasn’t disgusting enough, the well-preserved remains of the ancient Egyptians were ground into powder and consumed as a medicinal remedy. Demand was so high that it started the counterfeit trade in which the flesh of beggars was passed off as that of Egyptian mummies.
     
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    Casualties of war

    Apart from the apparent damage a war does in human casualties and destroying everything in its path, the aftermath is just as bad. It takes a while for countries to recover and in the meantime, people have to manage to survive. The woman in the photo could not feed her 4 children and the fifth one was on the way, so she put them up for sale. If sources could be trusted, she actually sold them during the period of two years, including the new born baby.
     
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    June 9th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of the Accession of King Abdullah II (Jordan) Autonomy Day (Åland) Christian feast day: Aidan of Lindisfarne (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) Bede (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) Columba Ephrem the Syrian (Roman Catholic Church and Church of England) José de Anchieta Primus and Felician June 9 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Coral Triangle Day La Rioja Day (La Rioja) Murcia Day (Murcia) National Heroes' Day (Uganda)  
    Observances
    National Farm Workers Day
    National Jerky Day
    International Dark 'n Stormy® Day
    National Earl Day
    National Sex Day
    National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day
    Les Paul
    Johnny Depp
     
    Fun Observances
    Donald Duck Day
    Celebrate everyone’s favorite cartoon character, Donald Duck on June 9, Donald Duck Day.

    On this day in 1934, this popular Walt Disney character made his debut in the cartoon short named, The Wise Little Hen.
    Created by Walt Disney, Donald Duck is a short-tempered cartoon duck with human features. Considered to be one of the most popular cartoon characters of all time, he featured in hundreds of movies and was the central character in thousands of comic books.
    Donald Duck comic books are especially sought after in Europe and in Scandinavian countries, where fans of the character even have a special name. They are called Donaldists!
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate Donald Duck’s birthday by watching all of his movies and reading comics that feature him. Host a Donald Duck-themed party. Have your guests wear red bow ties in honor of Donald. Did You Know…
    …that Donald Duck has a middle name? His full name is Donald Fauntleroy Duck.
     
     
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    We know you’d never do it, but some people concoct crazy stories so they can skip work. Here are a few, collected by hiring managers:

    • Employee said a chicken attacked his mom.

    • Employee had a hair transplant that went bad.

    • Employee called in sick from a bar at 5 p.m. the night before.

    • Employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the homeowners’ association.

    • Employee’s finger was stuck in a bowling ball.

    • Employee fell asleep at his desk while at work and hit his head, causing a neck injury.
     
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    If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

    Attorney: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
    Witness: "By death."
    Attorney: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
    Witness: "Guess."

    Attorney: "Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
    Witness: "All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight."
     
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    Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: “Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”

    He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there’s breakfast. “Joe,” he says to his son, “what happened last night?”

    “You came home soused and got that black eye tripping over a chair.”

    “So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?”

    “Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take off your clothes, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, I’m married!’”
     
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    Are you a redneck? Want to be one? Take the Redneck IQ test and see how well you fare. Don’t look for answers. If you need them, you’re no redneck.
    1) Which of these cars will rust out quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? ’65 Ford Fairlane ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle ’64 Pontiac GTO .
    2) Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a ten-pound possum.
    3) A woodcutter has a chain saw, which operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. Here’s the question: How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
    4) If your uncle builds a still that produces 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
     
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    (OOPS!! Sorry, make that " kebab shops in Türkiye )
     
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    June 8th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Blessed Mariam Thresia Chiramel Mankidiyan Blessed Mary of the Divine Heart (Droste zu Vischering) Chlodulf of Metz Jacques Berthieu, S.J. Jadwiga (Hedwig) of Poland Medard Melania the Elder Roland Allen (Episcopal Church (USA)) Thomas Ken (Church of England) William of York June 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which Queen's Birthday can fall, while June 14 is the latest; celebrated on the second Monday in June. (Australia, except Western Australia and Queensland) Bounty Day (Norfolk Island) Caribbean American HIV/AIDS Awareness Day Engineer's Day (Peru) Primož Trubar Day (Slovenia) World Brain Tumor Day World Oceans Day  
    Observances
    International Day of Action for Elephants in Zoos
    National Name Your Poison Day
    National Upsy Daisy Day
    Thomas Paine Day
    Michael FamilyFunPack
    Joan Rivers
     
    Fun Observances
    Best Friends Day
    June 8 is Best Friends Day, a day to celebrate your best friend and let them know how important they are to you.

    Best friends are the best! They are the friends you can call up at any time of the day, laugh with for no reason at all, and confide in. They are there for you in all your good and bad times, they support you, validate all your good decisions and stop you from making wrong ones. In other words, without best friends, life would be very bleak indeed.
    How to Celebrate?
    Whether you grew up with them or met them later in your life, let your best friend know that you cherish them on Best Friends Day. Here are some ways you can celebrate this friendly holiday:
    Thank your best friends for being in your life by doing something special for them. Maybe send them a special gift basket full of things they like or treat them to their favorite dessert. Spend time with your best friend and do things that both of you enjoy doing together. Don't live in the same city as your best friend? Call them or send them a note letting them know how much you miss them. Better yet, why not try to make a surprise visit? They'll love to see you, and you can spend the day with your favorite person in the world! Did You Know…
    …that according to some sources, the finale of the hugely popular TV series, Friends, ranks as one of the top 5 most watched series finales of all times?
     
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    At a planning meeting at my college, I congratulated a colleague on producing some superb student-guidance notes explaining how to combat plagiarism.

    "How long did it take you to write them?" I asked.

    "Not long," he said. "I copied them from another university's website."
     
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    It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
     
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    I’d noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother.

    "Things haven’t changed that much," she said. "Only difference is, before, he didn’t listen. Now, he can’t."
     
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    It’s tough enough selling a home nowadays. Don’t make the mistakes that turned off these readers on the City Room blog of The New York Times:
    • "It was a good house, well-maintained. But the bed with the person in it was off-putting."
    • "The family dog, long departed, was stuffed and standing next to the fireplace. RIP Sparky."
    • "The main distraction was dirt. Although there was the tiny child who proudly showed us the refrigerator full of ‘Daddy’s beer’ just outside an upstairs bedroom."
     
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    June 7th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Antonio Maria Gianelli Colmán of Dromore St Gottschalk Landulf of Yariglia (Asti) Meriasek Paul I of Constantinople Robert of Newminster Chief Seattle (Lutheran Church) Blessed Marie-Thérèse de Soubiran La Louvière Commemoration Day of St John the Forerunner (Armenian Apostolic Church) Pioneers of the Episcopal Anglican Church of Brazil (Episcopal Church (USA)) June 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Battle of Arica Day (Arica y Parinacota Region, Chile) Flag Day (Peru) Journalist Day (Argentina) Anniversary of the Memorandum of the Slovak Nation (Slovakia) Birthday of Prince Joachim (Denmark) Sette Giugno (Malta) Union Dissolution Day (Independence Day of Norway)  
    Observances
    National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
    International Supply Chain Professionals Day
    World Caring Day
    Daniel Boone Day
    Love Island Day
    Prince Vegeta
    Prince’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
    VCR Day
    Rewind to the past and celebrate the humble Video Cassette Recorder (VCR) on June 7, VCR Day. This unofficial holiday of unknown origins encourages people to learn more about the technology that completely changed the way people watched television and recorded memories.

    A major innovation in its day, the video cassette recorder or the VCR was first commercially released in 1956 by American electronics company, Ampex. The VRX-1000 did not become an instantly popular piece of equipment found in everyone's living rooms. This was in large part because of its price tag - it cost a whopping $50,000!
    The Rise and Fall of VCR's Fortunes
    Over time, as technology developed, the VCR became much more affordable and it became a popular piece of electronics in the 1980s and 1990s. The Telcan made by British company, Nottingham Electric Valve Company, was one of the first commercially produced VCR for homes.
    The VCR industry took a hit with the entrance of laser discs and compact discs and its use rapidly declined. Today, the VCR is no longer manufactured.
    How to Celebrate?
    Own a VCR? Or know someone who does? Then have a VCR party! Watch a movie on tape and make retro dishes to serve your guests. What about dressing up as someone who was famous during the heydays of the VCR? Did You Know…
    …that first produced in the United Kingdom in 1963, Telcan is the shorter name for television in a can?
     
     
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    I called a temp agency looking for work, and they asked if I had any phone skills.
    I said, "I called you, didn't I?"
     
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    I received a letter saying I would not be given the American Express credit card I'd requested because my income wasn't substantial enough.
    Oddly enough, I work for American Express.
     
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    Scene: A gas station in Canada

    Customer: Excuse me. Why won't my debit card work on the pump?
    Owner: Are you using an American card?
    Customer: Yes.
    Owner: American cards don't work at the pump.
    Customer: You should put up a sign.
    Owner: We did, above the card slot.
    Customer: Oh. Well, I don't read Canadian.
     
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    An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream.
    On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs."
     
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    June 6th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Claudius of Besançon Ini Kopuria (Anglican Church of Melanesia, Church of England, Episcopal Church) Marcellin Champagnat Norbert June 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) D-Day Invasion Anniversary Engineer's Day in Taiwan Korean Children's Union Foundation Day in North Korea Memorial Day in South Korea National Day of Sweden, marking the end of the Danish-ruled Kalmar Union and the coronation of King Gustav Vasa National Huntington's Disease Awareness Day in the United States Queensland Day UN Russian Language Day  
    Observances
    World Green Roof Day
    National Gardening Exercise Day
    National Caves and Karst Day
    National Applesauce Cake Day
    National Thank God It’s Monday Day
    National Yo-Yo Day
    Love Island Day
    National Eyewear Day
    National Higher Education Day
    Western Australia Day
    Whit Monday
    World Pest Day
    Neha Kakkar
    Carole Baskin
    ~~~~~~
    Mon Jun 6th, 2022 - Sun Jun 12th, 2022
    Love your Burial Ground Week
     
    Fun Observances
    Drive-In Movie Day
    Get the popcorn and soda, pop, or water and drive over to your closest drive-in theater to watch a movie on June 6, because it is Drive-in Movie Day!

    The unofficial holiday celebrates the anniversary of the day in 1933 when the first drive-in theater was opened in Camden, New Jersey by Richard M. Hollingshead, Jr.
    A drive-in theater screens movies on a large projector outdoors. Patrons drive on to the grounds in their cars and usually sit in them to watch the movie. Sound is provided either through large loudspeakers or through individual speakers attached to the car.
    Rise, Fall, and Rise of Drive-Ins
    Drive-in theaters became popular in the United States and in many other parts of the world in the 1950s and 1960s. They capitalized on the fact that they were convenient for families and romantic for couples. By the 1970s, the rise of conventional movie theaters led to a decline in drive-in movie theaters.
    In recent years, the improvement in movie screening technologies has led to a resurgence of drive-in theaters in many cities in the US.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have a drive-in theater close to your home, go to one and watch a movie. Take a picnic basket with you to make it more enjoyable. If you don’t have one, what about hosting a backyard movie night? Of course, your guests probably can't drive up to the projector, but they will still get the same experience of watching a movie in the outdoors. Did You Know…
    …that the first movie ever seen on a drive-in theater screen was the British comedy, Wives Beware?
     
     
    ***
     
    While my three-year-old grandson was attending a birthday party, his friend's father sneaked off to take a shower before work. Halfway through, the father heard a tapping on the shower door, followed by the sight of my grandson peering in. Looking around the stall, he asked, "Is my mom in here?"
     
    ***
     
    On his way to perform at a graveside service, the bagpiper gets lost. After many wrong turns, he finally arrives, but the minister and mourners have already gone. Only the grave diggers remain, and they're eating lunch. Not knowing what else to do, the bagpiper begins to play. The workers put down their lunches and weep as the man plays "Amazing Grace." When he finishes, he packs up his bagpipes and heads for his car.
    As he opens the door, he hears one of the workers say, "I've never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."
     
    ***
     
    A businessman flying first class is sitting next to a parrot. The plane takes off, and the parrot orders a Glenlivet, neat. The businessman asks for a Coke. After a few minutes, the bird yells, "Where's my scotch? Give me my scotch!" The flight attendant rushes over with their drinks.

    Later, they order another round. Again, the bird gives the crew grief for being slow, and the businessman joins in: "Yeah, the service stinks!"

    Just then, the flight attendant grabs the pair, opens the hatch, and throws them out of the plane. As they hurtle toward the ground, the parrot says to the terrified man, "Wow, that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings."
    ( these last two were repeats, but are two of my favorites )
     
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    June 5th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (New Zealand) Christian feast day: Boniface (Roman Catholic Church) Dorotheus of Tyre Genesius, Count of Clermont Blessed Meinwerk June 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Denmark) Father's Day (Denmark) Indian Arrival Day (Suriname) Liberation Day (Seychelles) President's Day (Equatorial Guinea) Reclamation Day (Azerbaijan) World Day Against Speciesism (International) World Environment Day (International)  
    Observances
    National Cancer Survivors Day
    National Sausage Roll Day
    National Gingerbread Day
    National Veggie Burger Day
    National Coworking Day
    HIV Long-Term Survivors Day
    National Moonshine Day
    Hot Air Balloon Day
    Pentecost
    Pancho Villa
    Brandon Farris
     
    ***
     
    September is Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month. As these quotes from overheardinthenewsroom.com prove, we need all the sympathy we can get.

    First editor: "They just sent in a correction on the obit."
    Second editor: "Is she still dead?"

    Editor to reporter writing political trend story: "We'd better move it today. It might not be true tomorrow."

    City editor assuring a reporter:
    "It might get you arrested, but it won't get you fired."

    Metro editor, commenting on parade floats made out of newspapers:
    "Can't do that with the Internet."
     
    ***
     
    I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friend—new to the city— asked where he could meet some singles. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries."

    "Dear," I intervened. "Singles, not seagulls."
     
    ***
     
    For 15 minutes a small crowd watched my surf-fishing husband struggle to haul in something big. The drama ended when his catch turned out to be a waterlogged 4 x 4. As Ed worked the hook out of the chunk of lumber, a man in the crowd called out,
    "What did you use for bait, your Home Depot card?"
     
    ***
     
    "You wouldn't believe my bad luck," a burglar tells his friend. "I broke into a lawyer's house last night, and he caught me. He let me go but told me never to steal again."

    "He let you go? Why's that bad luck?" asks the friend.

    "He charged me $500 for the advice."
     
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    I don't know how to speed-read. Instead, I listen to Books on Tape on fast-forward.
     
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    June 4th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Filippo Smaldone Francis Caracciolo Optatus Petroc of Cornwall Quirinus of Sescia Saturnina June 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Birthday of C. G. E. Mannerheim, Marshal of Finland and the flag flying day of the Finnish Defence Forces (Finland)[44][45] Emancipation Day or Independence Day, commemorates the abolition of serfdom in Tonga by King George Tupou in 1862, and the independence of Tonga from the British protectorate in 1970. (Tonga) International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression (International)[46] National Unity Day (Hungary) Trianon Treaty Day (Romania) Tiananmen Square Protests of 1989 Memorial Day (International) Day of state symbols in the Republic of Kazakhstan.  
    Observances
    National Bubbly Day
    International Corgi Day
    National Cheese Day
    National Trails Day
    National Cognac Day
    National Old Maids Day
    National Tailors Day
    Audacity To Hope Day
    International Tabletop Day
    National Black Bear Day
    National Prairie Day
    National SAFE Day
    Shavuot
    Shopping Cart Day
    The Big Lunch
    Quincy Brown
    Joyce Meyer
     
    Fun Observances
    Hug Your Cat Day
    June 4 is Hug Your Cat Day. On this unofficial holiday, go give your feline friend a big hug. You never know, the hug might just be the thing to stop them from plotting against you!

    Some people celebrate this made-up holiday on May 3.
    Different Signs of Affection
    Unlike dogs, cats do not show affection towards humans through loud, obvious gestures. This can lead people to believe that cats do not love their humans as much as dogs so. The truth, however, is far from it. According to animal behaviorists, cats are independent creatures who show love in subtle ways. They may purr at you or just spend time hanging with you to show you their love and appreciation. Bumping heads on their humans is another way cats reveal their affection.
    Hug the Stress Away
    Although the origins of Hug Your Cat Day, which is also sometimes known as National Hug Your Cat Day are unknown, it is clear that the creators of the holiday wanted people to let their cats know that they are loved by embracing them in a warm hug. Hugging cats can also have health benefits. Studies have shown that giving your cat a cuddle can reduce stress and help you relax.
    How to Celebrate?
    Hug your cat. If it refuses to hug you back, don't be disappointed. It will show you love some other way. Forgive it for refusing to cuddle with you and instead treat it to its favorite treats. If you don’t have a cat, but always wanted to have one, maybe today is the day to adopt one from the animal shelter. Don't have a cat, but love dogs? Don't worry, you have a holiday that you can celebrate with your canine friends: Hug Your Hound Day! Did You Know…
    …that cats have 5 toes on their front paws, but 4 toes on their back paws?
     
    ***
     
    The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in.
    "Cool, Grandma!" he said. "Now take off your arm."
     
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    At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!"
    Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that?"
     
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    My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother's Day. She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it. Landon became upset:
    "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"
     
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    My 13-year-old nephew thought his "gangsta" outfit—low-riding pants and exposed boxers—made him look cool. That is, until the day his five-year-old cousin took notice.
    "Nathaniel," she yelled out in front of everyone. "Your panties are showing."
     
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    June 3rd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Roman Empire: Festival for the goddess Bellona. Christian feast day: Charles Lwanga and Companions (Roman Catholic Church), and its related observances: Martyrs' Day (Uganda) Clotilde Kevin of Glendalough Ovidius Vladimirskaya (Russian Orthodox) June 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Confederate Memorial Day (Kentucky, Louisiana, and Tennessee, United States) Economist day (Buenos Aires, Argentina) Mabo Day (Australia) Opium Suppression Movement Day (Taiwan) World Bicycle Day  
    Observances
    World Cider Day
    National Chocolate Macaroon Day
    Insect Repellent Awareness Day
    Chimborazo Day
    National Egg Day
    European Bicycle Day
    Love Conquers All Day
    National Simp Day
    Uganda Martyrs Day
    Zayne Emory
    Josephine Baker
     
    Fun Observances (2)
    Repeat Day
    June 3 is Repeat Day! June 3 is Repeat Day! June 3 is Repeat Day!

    Possibly created by someone who loved doing the same thing over and over again, Repeat Day is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to re-do or re-state things multiple times. It is unclear why someone invented a holiday that would make celebrators sound like a broken record.
    While Repeat Day is definitely one of the more bizarre holidays out there, it needs very little preparation or effort to celebrate - all you need to do is repeat yourself ad infinitum!
    How to Celebrate?
    If there is an activity that you like to do over and over again, today is the day for you to do it. Here are some other ways you can do to celebrate this quirky holiday:
    Repeat everything you say or do. Have 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches, and 2 dinners. When having a conversation with a friend, repeat after your friend. Let them know that you are celebrating Repeat Day, lest they think you are rude. Watch movies where events repeat themselves, such as Groundhog Day and Edge of Tomorrow. Did You Know…
    …that the plot device employed in a film or story where a certain span of time repeats itself is called a time loop?
     
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    National Doughnut Day
    The first Friday of June is annually celebrated as National Doughnut or Donut Day in the United States. The holiday is a continuation of Doughnut Day when members of the Salvation Army provided doughnuts and coffee to service members during the First World War.

    The first Donut Day began as a way to cheer up soldiers who were risking their lives and limbs in the trenches during the war. At home, Doughnut Day became a way to raise awareness about the war and to raise funds for Salvation Army's activities on the battlefield. The tradition of serving donuts to raise funds for the organization is still alive in many parts of the US.
    The Salvation Army is a charitable Christian organization that works to help the poor and the hungry. It was founded in London in 1865.
    Fried Dough
    A doughnut is a ring-shaped sweet snack made of fried dough and is usually rolled in sugar or topped or glazed with icing. Doughnuts can also be filled with jam, custard, or cream.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the spirit of charity that gave rise to this holiday by volunteering for the local Salvation Army chapter or another non-profit organization that works with the armed forces. Visit your local doughnut store to treat yourself to some of these delicious snacks. Many doughnut stores around the world offer free doughnuts to celebrate Doughnut Day. Make doughnuts at home and share them with family, friends, and co-workers. Did You Know...
    ...that food historians believe that the doughnut came to the United States via Dutch immigrants in the 19th century?
     
     
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    I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I'd had it. "Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.

    Thrilled, he yelled back, "Will he take me to the zoo?"
     
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    My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his hypercritical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn't tell his mom which one he intended to marry.

    After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

    "The one with short hair."

    "Yes! How'd you know?"

    "Because that's the one I didn't like."
     
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    My two sons, Jake and Austin, are a handful. So I wasn't surprised that Dad looked frazzled after we took them to a football game.

    "It will be a cold day in #@%* before we come to another game," he muttered.

    "Did you hear that?" Jake shouted to Austin. "Grandpa's going to take us to a game in December!"
     
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    At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. "This thing is great," he bragged to my brother. "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!"
     
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    I think the picture is a fake, but the facts given are true(ish). Read the article,
    for the real size.
    Asian giant hornet - Wikipedia
     
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    ( I don't know it it is true, but it is a great story! )
     
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    June 2nd 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (North Korea) Christian feast day: Ahudemmeh (Syriac Orthodox Church).[53] Alexander (martyr) Elmo Felix of Nicosia Marcellinus and Peter Martyrs of Lyon, including Blandina Pope Eugene I Pothinus June 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Civil Aviation Day (Azerbaijan) Coronation of King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, also Social Forestry Day (Bhutan) Day of Hristo Botev (Bulgaria) Decoration Day (Canada) Festa della Repubblica (Italy) International Sex Workers Day Telangana Day (Telangana, India)  
    Observances
    National Rocky Road Day
    National Rotisserie Chicken Day
    National Moonshine Day
    American Indian Citizenship Day
    Republic Day Italy
    National Bubba Day
    National I Love My Dentist Day
    Orthodox Ascension Day
    Spring Bank Holiday
    Trooping The Colour
    John Randolph
    Charlie Watts
     
    Fun Observances
    Leave the Office Early Day
    While we all love our jobs (sure, we do), but nothing is more relaxing and fun than leaving work just a bit earlier than one normally does. So on June 2, pack up your things and get out of the office earlier than usual because it is Leave The Office Earlier Day or Leave The Office Early Day.

    This unofficial holiday is celebrated annually on June 2, unless it falls on a weekend. When it does, the day moves to the following Monday.
    The day encourages people to take some time on a workday for themselves and do things that relax them. Another plus side of cutting out of work early? You avoid peak traffic hours!
    How to Celebrate?
    Get out of the office early.Make sure you inform your managers and co-workers that you will be leaving early. Do something fun since you are out early from work. Go for a movie or the happy hour at your favorite restaurant or bar with your co-workers. Did You Know…
    …that according to some sources, an average office worker spends about 50 minutes a day looking for files and other work-related documents?
     
     
    ***
     
    I've always been a disappointment.
    When I was five, I looked down at the crayons I was coloring with and sighed—when I was two, this is not what I saw myself doing at five.
     
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    As I picked out flowers for my mother, I noticed a man next to me juggling three boxes of candy and a large bouquet.

    "What did you do wrong?" I said with a laugh.

    He mumbled back, "I got married."
     
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    A fourth marriage meant yet another name change for me. I didn't realize the upheaval it had caused until I asked my father why I hadn't heard from him in a while.

    "I forgot your phone number," he said.

    "You could've looked it up in the phone book."

    "I didn't know what name to look under."
     
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    The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable.
     
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    June 1st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (International), and its related observances: The Day of Protection of Children Rights (Armenia) Mothers' and Children's Day (Mongolia) Christian feast day: Annibale Maria di Francia Crescentinus Fortunatus of Spoleto Herculanus of Piegaro Íñigo of Oña Justin Martyr (Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Anglican, Lutheran) Ronan of Locronan June 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which June Holiday can fall, while June 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday in June. (Ireland) Earliest day on which Labour Day can fall, while June 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Friday in June. (The Bahamas) Earliest day on which Teacher's Day can fall, while June 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday in June. (Hungary) Earliest day on which the Queen's Birthday can fall, while June 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Monday in June. (New Zealand, Cook Islands, Fiji) Earliest day on which Seamen's Day can fall, while June 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday in June. (Iceland) Earliest day on which Western Australia Day can fall, while June 7 is the latest; celebrated on the first Sunday in June. (Western Australia) Global Day of Parents (International)[69] Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Samoa from New Zealand in 1962. Madaraka Day (Kenya) National Maritime Day (Mexico) National Tree Planting Day (Cambodia) Pancasila Day (Indonesia) President's Day (Palau)[70] The beginning of Crop over, celebrated until the first Monday of August. (Barbados) Victory Day (Tunisia) World Milk Day (International)  
    Observances
    International Tabletop Day
    National Say Something Nice Day
    Global Running Day
    Dinosaur Day
    National Olive Day
    National Go Barefoot Day
    Flip A Coin Day
    Intergenerational Day
    National Hazelnut Cake Day
    National Heimlich Maneuver Day
    National Nail Polish Day
    National Tailors Day
    New Year's Resolution Recommitment Day
    Oscar the Grouch Day
    Pen Pal Day
    Stand For Children Day
    Wear a Dress Day
    World Narcissistic Abuse Day
    Dare Day
    World Reef Awareness Day
    Morgan Freeman
    Tom Holland
     
    Observances (Month)
    Pride Month
    Guitars On The Beach
    Care For Your Grandparents Month
    Audiobook Month
    National PTSD Awareness Month
    International Mud Month
    National Candy Month
    National Great Outdoors Month
    National Country Cooking Month
    National Soul Food Month
    National Iced Tea Month
    National Dairy Month
    National Camping Month
     
    Fun Observances
    Say Something Nice Day
    On June 1, be kind to everyone you meet and say something nice to them because it is Say Something Nice Day. The day aims to encourage people to spread cheer and goodwill by opening up channels of communication and by focusing on the good in everyone.

    Also known as National Say Something Nice Day, this unofficial holiday is said to have originated in Charleston, South Carolina. According to some, the originators of the holiday were inspired by Mitchell Carnell's book, Say Something Nice - Be a Lifter @ Work. The book inspires people to be lifters. A lifter is someone who is positive and always says something nice to whoever they meet. The book inspires people to lift others up, not put them down.
    Spread Happiness
    The message of the day is that positivity goes a long way in spreading happiness and joy. When we are kind in our interactions with others, we receive positivity and kindness back. This enriches our lives, makes us happy, and keeps us healthy. Studies have shown that happy people are healthier and live longer.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the day by saying something nice to everyone you meet. Remember, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Put aside your petty enmities with people and use this day to try and see the positive in people you usually do not like. Leave a nice note or do something nice for a friend, family member, or co-worker. Bottom line: just be nice to friends, foes, and strangers alike, and you will notice that you feel much better about yourself! Did You Know...
    ...that the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all," is often known as Thumper's Law or the Thumperian Principle? Thumper is a fictional rabbit character from Disney's animated movie Bambi.
     
     
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    Do you have a nickname for your beloved? Snookums, maybe? My Little Dollop of Joy? The Brits have lots of them. The London jeweler H. Samuel discovered these pet names signed on gift cards:

    • Sexy Pig
    • Poo Face
    • Sausage
    • Chubby Cheeks
    • Monkey Boy
    • Fatty Bum Bum
    • Lobster
     
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    After visiting my son at his base, I complained to my brother-in-law: "Security there is so tight, you practically have to give up your firstborn to get in."

    He replied, "You did."
     
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    It was my friend's first camping trip with her husband, and they were lost. He tried all the usual tactics to determine direction—moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was overcast), and so on. Just as she began to panic, he spotted a cabin in the distance. "This way," he said as he led her back to their camp.

    "How did you do that?" my friend asked.

    "Simple. In this part of the country, the satellite dishes point south."
     
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    The road we were on led us to a covered bridge just as another car approached from the opposite direction. At an impasse, the other driver—clearly feeling wronged—shouted, "I never back up for idiots!"

    My friend put her car in reverse and replied, "I do."
     
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    Frillback Pigeons, beautiful pigeon breed with naturally curly feathers (Video) – Wakki News
     
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    May 31st 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of Royal Brunei Malay Regiment (Brunei) Christian feast day: Camilla Battista da Varano Hermias Petronella Visitation of Mary (Western Christianity) May 31 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The beginning of Gawai Dayak (Dayaks in Sarawak, Malaysia and West Kalimantan, Indonesia) World No Tobacco Day (International)  
    Observances
    National Save Your Hearing Day
    Web Designer Day
    Autonomous Vehicle Day
    National Smile Day
    National Utah Day
    Necrotizing Fasciitis Awareness Day
    Colin Farrell
    Azealia Banks
     
    Fun Observances
    Macaroon Day
    May 31 is Macaroon day, a day to celebrate the unleavened cakes or cookies made of egg whites, sugar, and almond paste or coconut.

    Macaroons are thought to have originated in 9th century Italy.
    Coconut and Egg Whites
    The original macaroon recipe called for egg whites, sugar, and almond paste. In many parts of the world, including the United Kingdom, coconut is used as the main ingredient of these delicious cakes, instead of almond paste. They can also be topped with jam, chocolate, or fruits in syrup.
    Even though macaroons look like cookies, bakers technically classify them as cakes because they do not contain any flour.
    Not a Macaron
    Oftentimes, macaroons are confused with the colorful macaron. While a macaron is made of similar ingredients - almond flour, egg whites, and sugar, there is a world of difference in the taste, texture, and presentation of the two treats.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn how to make macaroons. Whip up a batch and share them with your family and friends. Try different variations of the cake, perhaps by adding fruit or chocolate? Or maybe a spice like cinnamon or cardamom? Did You Know...
    ...that the word macaroon comes from the Italian word maccarone, meaning paste.
     
     
    ***
     
    An angry customer called me at the florist shop where I work. Her problem: the card. Her kids had sent the flowers and wanted it signed "Love, your two rugrats."

    Instead, the card read "Love, your two regrets."
     
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    Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

    "What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!"

    "That's why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don't have to drive $500 cars."
     
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    During World War II, selective service wasn't always so selective. My nearsighted friend went before the draft board to explain just how poor his vision was. "If I lose my glasses, I won't be able to see at all," he told them.

    "Don't you worry," replied the sergeant in charge. "When we attack, we'll stick you in front of the battalion. You won't miss a thing."
     
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    While I was assigned to the space shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers requested a new dictionary. Following regulations, I asked him why he needed it.

    I expected his answer to be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he said, "My current edition defines spaceship as an ‘imaginary aircraft.'"

    He got his new dictionary.
     
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    He is one sick puppy!
     
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    ( I apologize for this one in advance, but you have admit it is funny! )

     
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    May 30th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anguilla Day, commemorates the beginning of the Anguillian Revolution in 1967. (Anguilla) Canary Islands Day (Spain) Christian feast day: Ferdinand III of Castile Isaac of Dalmatia Joan of Arc Joseph Marello May 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Indian Arrival Day (Trinidad and Tobago) Lod Massacre Remembrance Day Mother's Day (Nicaragua) Statehood Day (Croatia)  
    Observances
    National Water a Flower Day
    National Mint Julep Day
    Loomis Day
    Memorial Day
    National Creativity Day
    World Multiple Sclerosis Day
    Remy Ma
    Mark Sheppard
     
    Fun Observances
    My Bucket's Got a Hole Day
    May 30 is My Bucket’s Got A Hole in It Day, a day to carry around a bucket with a hole with you.

    It is unclear if the unofficial holiday was created in honor of the song by the same name made popular by American singer Hank Williams or to celebrate buckets with holes in them. Either way, see below on how to celebrate this offbeat hole-i-day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Listen to the song by the same name. Trick someone by making a hole in their bucket. Ask them to do something silly with the bucket, like fill another bucket or water the lawn. Ask people you meet the answer to the Hole in the Bucket puzzle: I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I’ll make it lighter. What am I? A hole. Did You Know…
    …that the children's song There is a Hole in the Bucket describes a deadlock situation? To fix a bucket with a hole, the protagonist needs to cut a piece of straw with a knife, which needs to be sharpened on a sharpening stone which needs to be watered with water using the bucket, which has a hole.
     
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    As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.

    "Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner.

    "That's him," comes the reply.

    "He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"

    "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
     
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    The Week asked its readers to come up with the name of a French fast-food restaurant:
    •Brief Bourguignonne
    •Kentucky Fried Chic
    •Tore de Pants
    •Fatatouille
    •Fryer Jacques
    •Have It Eur Way
    •Chomps Élysées
     
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    Clientsfromhell.com was established by freelance art directors and graphic designers who have seen the dark side of their clients … and survived.

    Client No. 1: So it turns out you were right about me wanting a colon instead of a semicolon. But since we're on the subject, I'd like you to revisit the copy and include more semicolons. I want people to think we're smart.

    Client No. 2: Since you have overbid on our project, can you recommend anyone who has your exact same design skills and client-relationship abilities for half the cost?

    Client No. 3: Please be sure to print the cover and the table of contents at the front of the book, then print the chapters in this order: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.
     
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    A touching tribute to a waitress, spotted outside a local restaurant:
    "RIP Sandy. We will miss you. Server needed."
     
     
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  21. sandrewn

    Bread Crumb 301
    May 29th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Army Day (Argentina) Ascension of Bahá'u'lláh (Baháʼí Faith) (Only if Baháʼí Naw-Rúz falls on March 21 of the Gregorian calendar) Christian feast day: Bona of Pisa Hypomone (Eastern Orthodox Church) Maximin of Trier Pope Alexander of Alexandria (Eastern Orthodox Church) Theodosia of Constantinople (Eastern Orthodox Church) Ursula Ledóchowska May 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers (International)[37] National Elderly Day (Indonesia) Oak Apple Day (England), and its related observance: Castleton Garland Day (Castleton) Statehood Day (Rhode Island and Wisconsin) Veterans Day (Sweden)  
    Observances
    National Biscuit Day
    International Everest Day
    National Paperclip Day
    Learn About Composting Day
    Indianapolis 500
    National Coq Au Vin Day
    John F. Kennedy
    Carmelo Anthony
     
    Fun Observances
    Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day
    On May 29 put a pillow on your fridge to bring good luck and wealth to your home because it is Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day.

    The origins of Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day are unknown, but common wisdom is that the holiday gives a modern day twist to the old tradition of putting linens in the pantry to bring luck. Why doing so will bring luck is anyone's guess.
    How to Celebrate?
    Put a pillow on your fridge to bring luck. Make sure you let your other family members know that you are celebrating the day lest they think you are turning the fridge into your bed. Did You Know…
    ...that historians believe that pillows have been used by people to rest their heads while sleeping since 7,000 BCE?
     
     
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    I served in a parachute regiment. During a nighttime exercise, I was seated next to a young officer. He was looking a bit pale, so I asked, "Scared, lieutenant?"

    "No," he replied. "Apprehensive."

    "What's the difference?"

    "That means I'm scared, but with a university education."     ***
     
    My husband and I attended a bridal fair trying to drum up work for his fledgling wedding photography business. One vendor assumed we were engaged and asked when the big day was.

    "Oh, we've been married ten years," I said.

    "Really?" she asked. "But you look so happy."
     
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    My five-year-old grandson was looking through some old photos when he noticed his grandfather in his Marine dress blues.

    "What kind of costume is that?" he asked.

    "That's not a costume," his grandfather growled. "Men have died for that uniform."

    The boy looked up and said, "So you stole it, then?"
     
    ***
     
    A guy in a Kia pulls up next to a Rolls-Royce at a red light and asks, "Hey, is your car Bluetooth enabled?" The Rolls owner nods.

    "So is mine. Got Wi-Fi?" The Rolls owner nods again.

    "Me too. What about a double bed?"

    "No. Do you?" asks the Rolls guy.

    "Yep."

    The Kia owner peers out. "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"
     
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  22. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 300
    May 28th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Croatia) Christian feast day: Bernard of Menthon Germain of Paris John Calvin (Episcopal Church) Lanfranc Margaret Pole William of Gellone May 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Downfall of the Derg Day (Ethiopia) Flag Day (Philippines) Menstrual Hygiene Day Republic Day (Nepal) TDFR Republic Day, celebrates the declaration of independence of the First Republic of Armenia and the Azerbaijan Democratic Republic from the Transcaucasian Democratic Federative Republic in 1918. (Azerbaijan and Armenia) Youm-e-Takbir (Pakistan)  
    Observances
    Amnesty International Day
    National Brisket Day
    Seth Rollins
    Cameron Boyce
     
    Fun Observances
    Hamburger Day
    Celebrate the humble, but delicious hamburger on May 28, Hamburger Day.

    While the hamburger owes its name to the city of Hamburg in Germany, the hamburger, as it is known and loved today worldwide – a meat patty wedged inside two slices of bun, is distinctly an American invention.
    The unofficial holiday is also sometimes known as National Hamburger Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat hamburgers for all your meals on this day. Gourmet up your burgers by adding toppings like caramelized onions and mushrooms and blue cheese. Host a backyard barbecue and treat your guests to delicious homemade burgers. Did You Know…
    …that during the Second World War, American soldiers tried to rename the hamburger as liberty burger.
     
     
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    When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the nurse on duty. "On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is now?"

    She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not good with math."
     
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    Our company was conducting free body mass index checkups. When a stout colleague climbed onto the machine, it spit out a slip of paper telling him what his weight-to-height ratio was and what it ought to be.

    "What does it say?" I asked.

    He replied, "I need to increase my height by six inches."
     
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    The Mexican restaurant looked great. Only one problem: It wasn't open. So I jotted down the name for another day. Just then, a man came out of the restaurant and took a peek at what I'd written.

    "That's not the name of the restaurant," he said, pointing to the sign over the door. "That's Spanish for 'Closed on Mondays.'"
     
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    A friend and I were watching a film when a character called another a nymphomaniac.

    "What's that mean?" she asked.

    "It's a female who's addicted to sex," I answered.

    "What do they call males who are addicted to sex?"

    "Men."    
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    Moment (time) - Wikipedia
     
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    Has anyone seen or tried this yet ?
     
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  23. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 299
    May 27th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Nicaragua) Children's Day (Nigeria) Christian feast day: Augustine of Canterbury Blessed Lojze Grozde Bruno of Würzburg Eutropius of Orange Hildebert Julius the Veteran May 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Mother's Day (Bolivia) Navy Day (Japan) Slavery Abolition Day (Guadeloupe, Saint Barthélemy, Saint Martin) Start of National Reconciliation Week (Australia)  
    Observances
    National Fish and Chip Day
    Don’t Fry Day
    National Cellophane Tape Day
    National Hairstylist Mental Health Awareness Day
    National Grape Popsicle Day
    National Heat Awareness Day
    National Road Trip Day
    Ryan Henry
    Royalty Brown
     
    Fun Observances
    Sun Screen Day
    Get ready for the summer (if you live in the Northern Hemisphere) by learning more about sunscreen and its advantages on May 27, Sunscreen Day.

    Sunscreen, also known as suntan lotion, sun screen, or sun block is usually a cream or spray that is applied to bare skin in order to protect it from the Sun's harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays, and from sun burn.
    Medical professionals recommend that people apply sunscreen to skin exposed to sunlight to prevent skin cancer.
    There are many types of sunscreens available in the market these days - some only prevent sunburns while others prevent both sunburns and the Sun's harmful UV rays from entering the skin. Use this unofficial, but important, holiday to understand which type of sunscreen to use when going out to enjoy the summer sun.
    How to Celebrate?
    Stock up on sunscreen for the summer. Learn more about the different kinds of sunscreens and how they protect you. Listen to the Sunscreen song. The song is a spoken word song by Baz Luhrmann that features an essay titled Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young, written by columnist Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune on June 1, 1997. Did You Know…
    ...that even though long-term exposure to UV rays is harmful to our bodies, the human body needs UV rays to form Vitamin D?
     
    ***
     
    As a salesperson, I do a lot of business over the phone. One man who called to place an order had a nice voice, so when he asked if I wanted his number, I took the opportunity to offer mine as well.

    "Um," he stammered, "I was talking about my purchase-order number."
     
    ***
     
    In these tough times, there are certain things we must all learn to stint on. Toilet paper, though, is not one of them. Waitrose, a high-end British supermarket, wants to turn your toilet into a throne with toilet paper made from cashmere. And the store is selling it for the unprincely sum of $3.60 for a four-pack.
    "It's the little luxuries that put a smile on your face," says a company spokesman.
     
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    A coworker stormed into my friend's office, yelling, "Did you tell Joan I was a witch?!"
    Stunned, my friend sputtered, "No! I don't know how she found out."
     
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    This job requires a specialist: "A local corporation is seeking a medical billing specialist. 2 years exp. bilking Medicare."
     
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    You Mean That Wasn't Vegemite?
     
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    Giant snake flees Mississippi floods
     
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  24. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 298
    May 26th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Augustine of Canterbury (Anglican Communion and Eastern Orthodox) Lambert of Vence Peter Sanz (one of Martyr Saints of China) Philip Neri Pope Eleutherius Quadratus of Athens Zachary, Bishop of Vienne May 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, commemorates the day of the First Republic in 1918 (Georgia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Guyana from the United Kingdom in 1966. Mother's Day (Poland) National Paper Airplane Day (United States) National Sorry Day (Australia)  
    Observances
    National Blueberry Cheesecake Day
    World Dracula Day
    Ascension Day
    Scott Disick
    Lenny Kravitz
     
    Fun Observances
    World Lindy Hop Day
    Put on your dancing shoes and do the Lindy Hop, because May 26 is World Lindy Hop Day.

    Also known as the jitterbug, Lindy Hop originated in Harlem, New York City in the 1920s and 1930s. The day commemorates Frankie Manning, who some consider one of the creators of the dance form.
    Combination of Dance Forms
    A combination of different kinds of dances, including jazz, swing, and tap, Lindy Hop is a two-person dance where the partners dance hand in hand or in an embrace to jazz music. Just as in jazz, there is some form of improvisation that takes place during the dance.
    Going Through a Revival
    Popular in the 1930s and 1940s, interest in the dance form declined until the 1980s when a number of dance groups around the world revived it by holding annual workshops, camps, and competitions.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn how to dance the Lindy Hop. Host a Lindy Hop dance party or participate in one near you. Did You Know…
    …that some people believe that the name, Lindy Hop, may have originated from the name of aviator Charles Lindbergh? Lindbergh was fondly called Lindy by the media and after he successfully finished his solo flight between New York and Paris, media headlines read Lindy Hops the Atlantic.
     
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    When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers.

    "Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer.

    "Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust," she responded.

    "And how did that turn out?"

    "I don't know," she said. "Ask me when I'm dead."
     
    ***
     
    My husband is—how should I put this—cheap, once going so far as to reuse the freezer bags our grown daughter Molly left behind after a visit.
    Needless to say, it gave me a start when, looking through the freezer, I found packages labeled steak, chicken breast, and Molly.
     
    ***
     
    Following his motivational talk at a Weight Watchers meeting, my father noticed one client’s small son climbing onto a scale.

    "Don’t go on that, Joey," warned the boy’s slightly older brother.

    "It makes people cry."
     
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    I was in the back of our ambulance tending to a patient when we slowed to a crawl. Just ahead of us, a huge semi was hauling a house.

    "Don’t you hate that?" said our driver. "When people are simply too lazy to pack."
     
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    It's nothing honey...go back to sleep...
     
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    Shibboleth - Wikipedia
     
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  25. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 297
    May 25th 2022 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Africa Day (African Union) African Liberation Day (African Union, Rastafari) Christian feast day: Aldhelm Bede Canius Dionysius of Milan Dúnchad mac Cinn Fáelad Gerard of Lunel Madeleine Sophie Barat Mary Magdalene de Pazzi Maximus (Mauxe) of Évreux Pope Boniface IV Pope Gregory VII Pope Urban I Zenobius of Florence May 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) First National Government / National Day (Argentina)[32] Geek Pride Day (geek culture) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Jordan from the United Kingdom in 1946. Last bell (Russia, post-Soviet countries) Liberation Day (Lebanon) International Missing Children's Day and its related observances: National Missing Children's Day (United States), National Tap Dance Day (United States)  
    Observances
    National Senior Health & Fitness Day
    National Wine Day
    Geek Pride Day
    National Brown-Bag It Day
    Roman Reigns
    Mike Myers
     
    Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Sing Out Day
    Open up your vocal chords and sing out loud from your heart on Sing Out Day. Celebrated every year on May 25 the unofficial holiday encourages people to sing their hearts out. Loudly.

    Whether you make a living by singing, are a bathroom singer, a karaoke champion, or someone who is requested to sing at every party, this is the day to pretend that the whole world is your adoring audience and sing yourself hoarse!
    The holiday is also sometimes called International Sing Out Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Sing out as loud as you can, wherever you can. Don't hold back. You never know, there may be a talent scout around who may discover you! If singing is your passion, but if you have never had the courage to sing in front of others, today is your day to unleash your talent on the world. Go to a Karaoke Bar and sing your heart out. Did You Know…
    ...that singing, especially in groups can be beneficial for health? Studies have shown that singing alleviates bad moods, reduces stress, and can actually improve the body's immune function. Now, that's a very good reason to celebrate Sing Out Day!
    ~~~~~~~
      Towel Day
    Carry a towel and don’t panic on Towel Day. Celebrated annually on May 25, this unofficial holiday celebrates the hugely popular science fiction comedy, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (H2G2) by Douglas Adams.

    The holiday stems out of a key phrase in the series of books, called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A Trilogy in Five Parts that refer to a towel as “…the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.”
    How to Celebrate?
    Carry a towel with you wherever you go. If you haven’t read the books, why not pick them up and start reading them today? We assure you, you will not regret it! Listen to the radio show or watch the movie adaptations based on the books. Host an H2G2 themed party. Give out towels to your guests as favors. Regale them with bad poetry – hopefully not as bad as Vogon poetry. Serve them a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, lots of fish, and tea, and decorate your venue with petunias and signs that remind people not to panic. Attend a local Towel Day event. Did You Know…
    …that H2G2 was originally a radio show? Its popularity prompted Adams to write the books.
     
    ***
     
    Movie Quotes—The First Drafts
    The Godfather: "I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Well, he can refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer like this, I’d jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?"
    The Terminator: "I’ll be back. Do you need anything while I’m up?"
    Dirty Harry: "You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? I ask myself that every day, and you know what? I feel so very lucky. Loving family, steady work …"
    Taxi Driver: "You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Sorry, it looked like you were talkin’ to me. My mistake."
     
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    I enrolled in an online school to become a private investigator. I gave them my money, and then I never heard back from them.
    I thought, Either I just got ripped off, or this is my first case.
     
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    Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving in Vietnam. His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade school history report on the war.
    She wrote, "My Grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off."
     
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    When my summer teaching post in the Czech Republic came to an end, I told my students my next teaching destination would be in Australia, "the land down under." On my final day, they presented me with a card.
    The carefully worded note read "Good luck, and happy journey to the underworld."
     
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    R.I.P. ( Dec 28,1922 - Nov 12, 2018 )
     
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