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sandrewn

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  1. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1041
    June 7th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Antonio Maria Gianelli Colmán of Dromore St Gottschalk[41] Landulf of Yariglia (Asti) Meriasek Paul I of Constantinople Robert of Newminster Chief Seattle (Lutheran Church) Blessed Marie-Thérèse de Soubiran La Louvière Commemoration Day of St John the Forerunner (Armenian Apostolic Church) Pioneers of the Episcopal Anglican Church of Brazil (Episcopal Church (USA)) June 7 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Battle of Arica Day (Arica y Parinacota Region, Chile) Flag Day (Peru) Journalist Day (Argentina) Anniversary of the Memorandum of the Slovak Nation (Slovakia) Birthday of Prince Joachim (Denmark) Sette Giugno (Malta) Union Dissolution Day (Independence Day of Norway) Tourette Syndrome Awareness Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Daniel Boone Day
    International Supply Chain Professionals Day
    June Bug Day
    Love Island Day
    National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
    Randol Fawkes Labour Day
    T. T. Bank Holiday
    World Caring Day
    World Food Safety Day
     
    Prince Vegeta’s Birthday
    Liam Neeson’s Birthday
    Lexi Rivera’s Birthday
    Hirohiko Araki’s Birthday
    Fetty Wap’s Birthday
    Coco Quinn’s Birthday
    Charles Macintosh’s Birthday
    Allen Iverson’s Birthday
    Prince’s Birthday
    Mike Pence’s Birthday
    Bill Hader
    Dean Martin
    Emily Ratajkowski
    Iggy Azalea
    Michael Cera
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Fri Jun 7th, 2024 - Thu Jun 13th, 2024 World Heart Rhythm Week Shampoo Week   Fri Jun 7th, 2024 - Sat Jun 15th, 2024 British Heart Week     Fun Observances ( 2 )
    VCR Day
    Rewind to the past and celebrate the humble Video Cassette Recorder (VCR) on June 7, VCR Day. This unofficial holiday of unknown origins encourages people to learn more about the technology that completely changed the way people watched television and recorded memories.

    A major innovation in its day, the video cassette recorder or the VCR was first commercially released in 1956 by American electronics company, Ampex. The VRX-1000 did not become an instantly popular piece of equipment found in everyone's living rooms. This was in large part because of its price tag - it cost a whopping $50,000!
    The Rise and Fall of VCR's Fortunes
    Over time, as technology developed, the VCR became much more affordable and it became a popular piece of electronics in the 1980s and 1990s. The Telcan made by British company, Nottingham Electric Valve Company, was one of the first commercially produced VCR for homes.
    The VCR industry took a hit with the entrance of laser discs and compact discs and its use rapidly declined. Today, the VCR is no longer manufactured.
    How to Celebrate?
    Own a VCR? Or know someone who does? Then have a VCR party! Watch a movie on tape and make retro dishes to serve your guests. What about dressing up as someone who was famous during the heydays of the VCR? Did You Know…
    …that first produced in the United Kingdom in 1963, Telcan is the shorter name for television in a can?
    ~~~~~~~
      Nat. Doughnut Day
    The first Friday of June is annually celebrated as National Doughnut or Donut Day in the United States. The holiday is a continuation of Doughnut Day when members of the Salvation Army provided doughnuts and coffee to service members during the First World War.

    The first Donut Day began as a way to cheer up soldiers who were risking their lives and limbs in the trenches during the war. At home, Doughnut Day became a way to raise awareness about the war and to raise funds for Salvation Army's activities on the battlefield. The tradition of serving donuts to raise funds for the organization is still alive in many parts of the US.
    The Salvation Army is a charitable Christian organization that works to help the poor and the hungry. It was founded in London in 1865.
    Fried Dough
    A doughnut is a ring-shaped sweet snack made of fried dough and is usually rolled in sugar or topped or glazed with icing. Doughnuts can also be filled with jam, custard, or cream.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the spirit of charity that gave rise to this holiday by volunteering for the local Salvation Army chapter or another non-profit organization that works with the armed forces. Visit your local doughnut store to treat yourself to some of these delicious snacks. Many doughnut stores around the world offer free doughnuts to celebrate Doughnut Day. Make doughnuts at home and share them with family, friends, and co-workers. Did You Know...
    ...that food historians believe that the doughnut came to the United States via Dutch immigrants in the 19th century?
     
     
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    I called a temp agency looking for work, and they asked if I had any phone skills.
    I said, "I called you, didn't I?"
     
    ***
     
    I received a letter saying I would not be given the American Express credit card I'd requested because my income wasn't substantial enough.
    Oddly enough, I work for American Express.
     
    ***
     
    Scene: A gas station in Canada

    Customer: Excuse me. Why won't my debit card work on the pump?
    Owner: Are you using an American card?
    Customer: Yes.
    Owner: American cards don't work at the pump.
    Customer: You should put up a sign.
    Owner: We did, above the card slot.
    Customer: Oh. Well, I don't read Canadian.
     
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    An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream.
    On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs."
     
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    sandrewn
  2. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1040
    June 6th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Claudius of Besançon Ini Kopuria (Anglican Church of Melanesia, Church of England, Episcopal Church) Marcellin Champagnat Norbert June 6 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) D-Day Invasion Anniversary Engineer's Day in Taiwan Korean Children's Union Foundation Day in North Korea Memorial Day in South Korea National Day of Sweden, marking the end of the Danish-ruled Kalmar Union and the coronation of King Gustav Vasa National Huntington's Disease Awareness Day in the United States Queensland Day UN Russian Language Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Caves and Karst Day
    National Applesauce Cake Day
    National Eyewear Day
    National Gardening Exercise Day
    National Higher Education Day
    National Moonshine Day
    National Yo-Yo Day
    Orthodox Ascension Day
    Savitri Amavasya
    Visually Impaired People Day
    World Green Roof Day
    World Pest Day
    National Fish and Chip Day
    Old-Time Player Piano Day
    Infant Feeding Day
     
    Toby Wallace’s Birthday
    Neha Kakkar’s Birthday
    Carole Baskin’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thu Jun 6th, 2024 - Wed Jun 12th, 2024 Healthcare Executives Appreciation Week Linggo ng Kalayaan   Fun Observances
    Drive-In Movie Day
    Get the popcorn and soda, pop, or water and drive over to your closest drive-in theater to watch a movie on June 6, because it is Drive-in Movie Day!

    The unofficial holiday celebrates the anniversary of the day in 1933 when the first drive-in theater was opened in Camden, New Jersey by Richard M. Hollingshead, Jr.
    A drive-in theater screens movies on a large projector outdoors. Patrons drive on to the grounds in their cars and usually sit in them to watch the movie. Sound is provided either through large loudspeakers or through individual speakers attached to the car.
    Rise, Fall, and Rise of Drive-Ins
    Drive-in theaters became popular in the United States and in many other parts of the world in the 1950s and 1960s. They capitalized on the fact that they were convenient for families and romantic for couples. By the 1970s, the rise of conventional movie theaters led to a decline in drive-in movie theaters.
    In recent years, the improvement in movie screening technologies has led to a resurgence of drive-in theaters in many cities in the US.
    How to Celebrate?
    If you have a drive-in theater close to your home, go to one and watch a movie. Take a picnic basket with you to make it more enjoyable. If you don’t have one, what about hosting a backyard movie night? Of course, your guests probably can't drive up to the projector, but they will still get the same experience of watching a movie in the outdoors. Did You Know…
    …that the first movie ever seen on a drive-in theater screen was the British comedy, Wives Beware?
     
     
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    While my three-year-old grandson was attending a birthday party, his friend's father sneaked off to take a shower before work. Halfway through, the father heard a tapping on the shower door, followed by the sight of my grandson peering in. Looking around the stall, he asked, "Is my mom in here?"
     
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    On his way to perform at a graveside service, the bagpiper gets lost. After many wrong turns, he finally arrives, but the minister and mourners have already gone. Only the grave diggers remain, and they're eating lunch. Not knowing what else to do, the bagpiper begins to play. The workers put down their lunches and weep as the man plays "Amazing Grace." When he finishes, he packs up his bagpipes and heads for his car.
    As he opens the door, he hears one of the workers say, "I've never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."
     
    ***
     
    A businessman flying first class is sitting next to a parrot. The plane takes off, and the parrot orders a Glenlivet, neat. The businessman asks for a Coke. After a few minutes, the bird yells, "Where's my scotch? Give me my scotch!" The flight attendant rushes over with their drinks.

    Later, they order another round. Again, the bird gives the crew grief for being slow, and the businessman joins in: "Yeah, the service stinks!"

    Just then, the flight attendant grabs the pair, opens the hatch, and throws them out of the plane. As they hurtle toward the ground, the parrot says to the terrified man, "Wow, that took a lot of guts for a guy with no wings."
     
    ***
     
    A young man was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, sweating from the hot sun.
    His neighbor said, “You need to wait until the sun goes down, or plant in the morning when it is coolest.” The man said, “I can’t do that. It says on the package, ‘Plant in full sun!’ ”
     
     
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    sandrewn
  3. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1039
    June 5th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Arbor Day (New Zealand) Christian feast day: Boniface (Roman Catholic Church) Dorotheus of Tyre Genesius, Count of Clermont Blessed Meinwerk June 5 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Denmark) Father's Day (Denmark) Indian Arrival Day (Suriname) Liberation Day (Seychelles) President's Day (Equatorial Guinea) Reclamation Day (Azerbaijan) World Day Against Speciesism (International) World Environment Day (International)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Global Running Day
    Hot Air Balloon Day
    International Day for the Fight against Illegal Unreported and Unregulated Fishing - 1
    International Day for the Fight against Illegal, Unreported and Unregulated Fishing - 2
    Jerusalem Day
    Khordad National Uprising in Iran
    National Gingerbread Day
    National Lincoln Loud Day
    National Tailors Day
    National Veggie Burger Day
    Sausage Roll Day
    Thank You Day
    HIV Long-Term Survivors Day
    National Moonshine Day
    Random Acts of Cardness Day
     
    Pancho Villa’s Birthday
    Ninja’s Birthday
    Robert Kraft’s Birthday
    Colt Johnson’s Birthday
    Ceaser Emanuel’s Birthday
    Brandon Farris’s Birthday
    Mark Wahlberg’s Birthday
    Nick Kroll
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wed Jun 5th, 2024 - Tue Jun 11th, 2024 National Commuter Challenge Medicare Fraud Prevention Week     ***
     
     
    September is Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month. As these quotes from overheardinthenewsroom.com prove, we need all the sympathy we can get.

    First editor: "They just sent in a correction on the obit."
    Second editor: "Is she still dead?"

    Editor to reporter writing political trend story: "We'd better move it today. It might not be true tomorrow."

    City editor assuring a reporter:
    "It might get you arrested, but it won't get you fired."

    Metro editor, commenting on parade floats made out of newspapers:
    "Can't do that with the Internet."
     
    ***
     
    I knew that my husband's hearing had deteriorated after our friend—new to the city— asked where he could meet some singles. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries."

    "Dear," I intervened. "Singles, not seagulls."
     
    ***
     
    For 15 minutes a small crowd watched my surf-fishing husband struggle to haul in something big. The drama ended when his catch turned out to be a waterlogged 4 x 4. As Ed worked the hook out of the chunk of lumber, a man in the crowd called out,
    "What did you use for bait, your Home Depot card?"
     
    ***
     
    "You wouldn't believe my bad luck," a burglar tells his friend. "I broke into a lawyer's house last night, and he caught me. He let me go but told me never to steal again."

    "He let you go? Why's that bad luck?" asks the friend.

    "He charged me $500 for the advice."
     
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    I don't know how to speed-read. Instead, I listen to Books on Tape on fast-forward.
     
     
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    Reindeer Games
     
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    sandrewn
  4. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1038
    June 4th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Filippo Smaldone Francis Caracciolo Optatus Petroc of Cornwall Quirinus of Sescia Saturnina June 4 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Birthday of C. G. E. Mannerheim, Marshal of Finland and the flag flying day of the Finnish Defence Forces (Finland) Emancipation Day or Independence Day, commemorates the abolition of serfdom in Tonga by King George Tupou in 1862, and the independence of Tonga from the British protectorate in 1970. (Tonga) International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression (International) National Unity Day (Hungary) Trianon Treaty Day (Romania) Tiananmen Square Protests of 1989 Memorial Day (International) Day of state symbols in the Republic of Kazakhstan.  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Audacity To Hope Day
    International Corgi Day
    National Cheese Day
    National Christian T-Shirt Day
    National Cognac Day
    National Old Maids Day
    National SAFE Day
    Shopping Cart Day
    Invisible Day
    World Day for Assistive Technology
     
    Sykkuno’s Birthday
    Quincy Brown’s Birthday
    Mackenzie Ziegler’s Birthday
    Joyce Meyer’s Birthday
    Angelina Jolie’s Birthday
    Russell Brand
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Tue Jun 4th, 2024 - Mon Jun 10th, 2024 Philippine Eagle Week   Fun Observances
    Hug Your Cat Day
    June 4 is Hug Your Cat Day. On this unofficial holiday, go give your feline friend a big hug. You never know, the hug might just be the thing to stop them from plotting against you!

    Some people celebrate this made-up holiday on May 3.
    Different Signs of Affection
    Unlike dogs, cats do not show affection towards humans through loud, obvious gestures. This can lead people to believe that cats do not love their humans as much as dogs so. The truth, however, is far from it. According to animal behaviorists, cats are independent creatures who show love in subtle ways. They may purr at you or just spend time hanging with you to show you their love and appreciation. Bumping heads on their humans is another way cats reveal their affection.
    Hug the Stress Away
    Although the origins of Hug Your Cat Day, which is also sometimes known as National Hug Your Cat Day are unknown, it is clear that the creators of the holiday wanted people to let their cats know that they are loved by embracing them in a warm hug. Hugging cats can also have health benefits. Studies have shown that giving your cat a cuddle can reduce stress and help you relax.
    How to Celebrate?
    Hug your cat. If it refuses to hug you back, don't be disappointed. It will show you love some other way. Forgive it for refusing to cuddle with you and instead treat it to its favorite treats. If you don’t have a cat, but always wanted to have one, maybe today is the day to adopt one from the animal shelter. Don't have a cat, but love dogs? Don't worry, you have a holiday that you can celebrate with your canine friends: Hug Your Hound Day! Did You Know…
    …that cats have 5 toes on their front paws, but 4 toes on their back paws?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in.
    "Cool, Grandma!" he said. "Now take off your arm."
     
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    At the restaurant, a sign read "Karaoke Tonight!"
    Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that?"
     
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    My daughter loved the picture frame her five-year-old son bought her for Mother's Day. She found a photograph of him and replaced the cat photo that came with it. Landon became upset:
    "Why are you putting a picture of me in there when I bought you a picture of a cat?"
     
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    My 13-year-old nephew thought his "gangsta" outfit—low-riding pants and exposed boxers—made him look cool. That is, until the day his five-year-old cousin took notice.
    "Nathaniel," she yelled out in front of everyone. "Your panties are showing."
     
     
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    sandrewn
  5. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1037
    June 3rd 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Roman Empire: Festival for the goddess Bellona. Christian feast day: Charles Lwanga and Companions (Roman Catholic Church), and its related observances: Martyrs' Day (Uganda) Clotilde Kevin of Glendalough Ovidius Vladimirskaya (Russian Orthodox) June 3 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Confederate Memorial Day (Kentucky, Louisiana, and Tennessee, United States) Economist day (Buenos Aires, Argentina) Mabo Day (Australia) Opium Suppression Movement Day (Taiwan) World Bicycle Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Chimborazo Day
    Columbia Corpus Christi Holiday
    European Bicycle Day
    H.M. Queens Birthday
    Insect Repellent Awareness Day
    Isabel Province Day
    June Bank Holiday
    Love Conquers All Day
    Martyrs Day Uganda
    National Chocolate Macaroon Day
    National Egg Day
    National Simp Day
    The Yang di-Pertuan Agong's Birthday
    Western Australia Day
    World Cider Day
    National Thank God It’s Monday Day
    Love Island Day
     
    Yaya Panton’s Birthday
    Louis Partridge’s Birthday
    Josephine Baker’s Birthday
    Jefferson Davis’s Birthday
    Zayne Emory’s Birthday
    Rafael Nadal’s Birthday
    Anderson Cooper
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon Jun 3rd, 2024 - Sun Jun 9th, 2024 America The Beautiful Week Canadian Environment Week Food Safety Week Love your Burial Ground Week National Automotive Service Professional Week National Patient Participation Week National BBQ Week National Fishing and Boating Week   Fun Observances
    Repeat Day
    June 3 is Repeat Day! June 3 is Repeat Day! June 3 is Repeat Day!

    Possibly created by someone who loved doing the same thing over and over again, Repeat Day is an unofficial holiday that encourages people to re-do or re-state things multiple times. It is unclear why someone invented a holiday that would make celebrators sound like a broken record.
    While Repeat Day is definitely one of the more bizarre holidays out there, it needs very little preparation or effort to celebrate - all you need to do is repeat yourself ad infinitum!
    How to Celebrate?
    If there is an activity that you like to do over and over again, today is the day for you to do it. Here are some other ways you can do to celebrate this quirky holiday:
    Repeat everything you say or do. Have 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches, and 2 dinners. When having a conversation with a friend, repeat after your friend. Let them know that you are celebrating Repeat Day, lest they think you are rude. Watch movies where events repeat themselves, such as Groundhog Day and Edge of Tomorrow. Did You Know…
    …that the plot device employed in a film or story where a certain span of time repeats itself is called a time loop?
     
      ***
     
     
    I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I'd had it. "Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.

    Thrilled, he yelled back, "Will he take me to the zoo?"
     
    ***
     
    My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his hypercritical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn't tell his mom which one he intended to marry.

    After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

    "The one with short hair."

    "Yes! How'd you know?"

    "Because that's the one I didn't like."
     
    ***
     
    My two sons, Jake and Austin, are a handful. So I wasn't surprised that Dad looked frazzled after we took them to a football game.

    "It will be a cold day in #@%* before we come to another game," he muttered.

    "Did you hear that?" Jake shouted to Austin. "Grandpa's going to take us to a game in December!"
     
    ***
     
    At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. "This thing is great," he bragged to my brother. "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!"
     
     
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    I think the picture is a fake, but the facts given are true(ish). Read the article,
    for the real size.
    Asian giant hornet - Wikipedia
     
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    ( I don't know if it is true, but it is a great story! )
     
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    sandrewn
  6. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1036
    June 2nd 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (North Korea) Christian feast day: Ahudemmeh (Syriac Orthodox Church). Alexander (martyr) Elmo Felix of Nicosia Marcellinus and Peter Martyrs of Lyon, including Blandina Pope Eugene I Pothinus June 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Civil Aviation Day (Azerbaijan) Coronation of King Jigme Singye Wangchuck, also Social Forestry Day (Bhutan) Day of Hristo Botev (Bulgaria) Decoration Day (Canada) Festa della Repubblica (Italy) International Sex Workers Day Telangana Day (Telangana, India)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    American Indian Citizenship Day
    National Bubba Day
    National Cancer Survivors Day
    National First Ladies Day
    National I Love My Dentist Day
    National Janice Day
    National Rocky Road Day
    National Rotisserie Chicken Day
    Platinum Jubilee bank holiday
     
    Willow Sage Hart’s Birthday
    John Randolph’s Birthday
    Charlie Watts’s Birthday
    Beetlejuice’s Birthday
    Awkwafina
    Morena Baccarin
    Wentworth Miller
    Zachary Quinto
    Justin Long
    Wayne Brady
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun Jun 2nd, 2024 - Sat Jun 8th, 2024 Bed Bug Awareness Week Community Health Improvement Week End Mountain Top Removal Week National Business Etiquette Week National Garden Week National Headache Awareness Week National Week of the Ocean   Fun Observances
    Leave the Office Early Day
    While we all love our jobs (sure, we do), but nothing is more relaxing and fun than leaving work just a bit earlier than one normally does. So on June 2, pack up your things and get out of the office earlier than usual because it is Leave The Office Earlier Day or Leave The Office Early Day.

    This unofficial holiday is celebrated annually on June 2, unless it falls on a weekend. When it does, the day moves to the following Monday.
    The day encourages people to take some time on a workday for themselves and do things that relax them. Another plus side of cutting out of work early? You avoid peak traffic hours!
    How to Celebrate?
    Get out of the office early.Make sure you inform your managers and co-workers that you will be leaving early. Do something fun since you are out early from work. Go for a movie or the happy hour at your favorite restaurant or bar with your co-workers. Did You Know…
    …that according to some sources, an average office worker spends about 50 minutes a day looking for files and other work-related documents?
       
    ***
     
     
    I've always been a disappointment.
    When I was five, I looked down at the crayons I was coloring with and sighed—when I was two, this is not what I saw myself doing at five.
     
    ***
     
    As I picked out flowers for my mother, I noticed a man next to me juggling three boxes of candy and a large bouquet.

    "What did you do wrong?" I said with a laugh.

    He mumbled back, "I got married."
     
    ***
     
    A fourth marriage meant yet another name change for me. I didn't realize the upheaval it had caused until I asked my father why I hadn't heard from him in a while.

    "I forgot your phone number," he said.

    "You could've looked it up in the phone book."

    "I didn't know what name to look under."
     
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    The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable.
     
     
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    Boys Will Be Boys
     
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    Road Trip Buddies
     
     
     
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    June 1st 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Children's Day (International), and its related observances: The Day of Protection of Children Rights (Armenia) Mothers' and Children's Day (Mongolia) Christian feast day: Annibale Maria di Francia Crescentinus Fortunatus of Spoleto Herculanus of Piegaro Íñigo of Oña Justin Martyr (Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Anglican, Lutheran) Ronan of Locronan June 1 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Global Day of Parents (International) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Samoa from New Zealand in 1962. Madaraka Day (Kenya) National Maritime Day (Mexico) National Tree Planting Day (Cambodia) Pancasila Day (Indonesia) President's Day (Palau) The beginning of Crop over, celebrated until the first Monday of August. (Barbados) Victory Day (Tunisia) World Milk Day (International)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Dare Day
    Dinosaur Day
    Don't Give up the Ship Day
    Flip A Coin Day
    Gawai Dayak
    Intergenerational Day
    International Tabletop Day
    National Barefoot Day
    National Billboard Day
    National Black Bear Day
    National Bubbly Day
    National Hazelnut Cake Day
    National Heimlich Maneuver Day
    National Olive Day
    National Pen Pal Day
    National Prairie Day
    National Roman Day
    National Skincare Education Day
    National Trails Day
    New Year's Resolution Recommitment Day
    Oscar the Grouch Day
    Statehood Day in Kentucky
    Statehood Day in Tennessee
    The Big Lunch
    Wear a Dress Day
    World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day
    World Outlander Day
    World Reef Awareness Day
    Butterfly Education and Awareness Day
     
    Juliet Rader’s Birthday
    Tom Holland’s Birthday
    Notch’s Birthday
    Morgan Freeman’s Birthday
    Marilyn Monroe’s Birthday
    Chase Chrisley’s Birthday
    Zazie Beetz
    Andy Griffith
    Brandi Carlile
    Heidi Klum
    Brian Cox
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sat Jun 1st, 2024 - Fri Jun 7th, 2024 National CPR and AED Awareness Week RSPCA Week Step Parents Week Volunteers' Week   Sat Jun 1st, 2024 - Sat Jun 8th, 2024 International Clothesline Week   Sat Jun 1st, 2024 - Sun Jun 9th, 2024 National Fishing and Boating Week     Observances (click on the month for details) African American Appreciation Month
    Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month
    Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month
    Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome Awareness Month
    Aphasia Awareness Month
    Audiobook Month
    Beautiful in Your Skin Month
    Black Lives Matter Month
    Black Music Month
    Cancer from the Sun Month
    Caribbean-American Heritage Month
    Cataract Awareness Month
    Celibacy Awareness Month
    Child Vision Awareness Month
    Children's Awareness Month
    CMV Awareness Month
    Cucumber Month
    Effective Communications Month
    Entrepreneurs "Do it Yourself" Marketing Month
    Fight the Filthy Fly Month
    Fireworks Eye Safety Month
    Fireworks Safety Month
    Georgia Blueberry Month
    Great Outdoors Month
    Infertility Awareness Month
    International Surf Music Month
    Lane Courtesy Month
    Mango Month
    Men's Health Month
    Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month
    National Accordion Awareness Month
    National Adopt A Cat Month
    National Camping Month
    National Candy Month
    National Country Cooking Month
    National Dairy Month
    National DJ Month
    National Foster a Pet Month
    National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month
    National Frozen Yogurt Month
    National Give a Bunch of Balloons Month
    National Homeownership Month
    National Iced Tea Month
    National Lemon Month
    National Microchipping Month
    National Migraine and Headache Awareness Month
    National Oceans Month
    National Osteoporosis Month
    National Pet Preparedness Month
    National Pollinator Month
    National PTSD Awareness Month
    National Rivers Month
    National Rose Month
    National Safety Month
    National Scoliosis Awareness Month
    National Soul Food Month
    National Steakhouse Month
    National Zoo and Aquarium Month
    Oral Health Month
    Perennial Gardening Month
    Pharmacists Declare War on Alcoholism Month
    Pluot & Aprium Month
    Potty Training Awareness Month
    Pride Month
    Professional Wellness Month
    Rebuild Your Life Month
    Scleroderma Awareness Month
    Skyscraper Month
    Social Petworking Month
    Sports America Kids Month
    Turkey Lovers Month
    Vision Research Month
    We Advocate Time Consciousness and Honesty
    Women’s Golf Month
      Fun Observances
    Say Something Nice Day
    On June 1, be kind to everyone you meet and say something nice to them because it is Say Something Nice Day. The day aims to encourage people to spread cheer and goodwill by opening up channels of communication and by focusing on the good in everyone.

    Also known as National Say Something Nice Day, this unofficial holiday is said to have originated in Charleston, South Carolina. According to some, the originators of the holiday were inspired by Mitchell Carnell's book, Say Something Nice - Be a Lifter @ Work. The book inspires people to be lifters. A lifter is someone who is positive and always says something nice to whoever they meet. The book inspires people to lift others up, not put them down.
    Spread Happiness
    The message of the day is that positivity goes a long way in spreading happiness and joy. When we are kind in our interactions with others, we receive positivity and kindness back. This enriches our lives, makes us happy, and keeps us healthy. Studies have shown that happy people are healthier and live longer.
    How to Celebrate?
    Celebrate the day by saying something nice to everyone you meet. Remember, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. Put aside your petty enmities with people and use this day to try and see the positive in people you usually do not like. Leave a nice note or do something nice for a friend, family member, or co-worker. Bottom line: just be nice to friends, foes, and strangers alike, and you will notice that you feel much better about yourself! Did You Know...
    ...that the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all," is often known as Thumper's Law or the Thumperian Principle? Thumper is a fictional rabbit character from Disney's animated movie Bambi.
     
     
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    Do you have a nickname for your beloved? Snookums, maybe? My Little Dollop of Joy? The Brits have lots of them. The London jeweler H. Samuel discovered these pet names signed on gift cards:

    • Sexy Pig
    • Poo Face
    • Sausage
    • Chubby Cheeks
    • Monkey Boy
    • Fatty Bum Bum
    • Lobster
     
    ***
     
    After visiting my son at his base, I complained to my brother-in-law: "Security there is so tight, you practically have to give up your firstborn to get in."

    He replied, "You did."
     
    ***
     
    It was my friend's first camping trip with her husband, and they were lost. He tried all the usual tactics to determine direction—moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was overcast), and so on. Just as she began to panic, he spotted a cabin in the distance. "This way," he said as he led her back to their camp.

    "How did you do that?" my friend asked.

    "Simple. In this part of the country, the satellite dishes point south."
     
    ***
     
    The road we were on led us to a covered bridge just as another car approached from the opposite direction. At an impasse, the other driver—clearly feeling wronged—shouted, "I never back up for idiots!"

    My friend put her car in reverse and replied, "I do."
     
     
     
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    Frillback Pigeons, beautiful pigeon breed with naturally curly feathers (Video) – Wakki News
     
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    How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles.
    Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
    What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.
    You may share all your secrets with me. They can be safe with my friends.
    I used to run a dating service for chickens but struggled to make hens meet.
    I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker until I went home, and all the signs were there.
     
     
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  8. sandrewn

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    May 31st 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anniversary of Royal Brunei Malay Regiment (Brunei) Christian feast day: Camilla Battista da Varano Hermias Petronella Visitation of Mary (Western Christianity) May 31 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) The beginning of Gawai Dayak (Dayaks in Sarawak, Malaysia and West Kalimantan, Indonesia) World No Tobacco Day (International)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Autonomous Vehicle Day
    European Neighbors' Day
    National Fisherfolks Day
    National Save Your Hearing Day
    National Smile Day
    National Speak in Complete Sentences Day
    National Utah Day
    Necrotizing Fasciitis Awareness Day
    Web Designer Day
    What You Think Upon Grows Day
    World Parrot Day
    Infidelity Hurts Awareness Day
     
    Waka Flocka Flame’s Birthday
    Normani’s Birthday
    Mo3’s Birthday
    Colin Farrell’s Birthday
    Clint Eastwood’s Birthday
    Azealia Banks’s Birthday
    Joe Namath
    Brooke Shields
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Fri May 31st, 2024 - Thu Jun 6th, 2024 Garden Wildlife Week National Patient Participation Week   Fun Observances
    Macaroon Day
    May 31 is Macaroon day, a day to celebrate the unleavened cakes or cookies made of egg whites, sugar, and almond paste or coconut.

    Macaroons are thought to have originated in 9th century Italy.
    Coconut and Egg Whites
    The original macaroon recipe called for egg whites, sugar, and almond paste. In many parts of the world, including the United Kingdom, coconut is used as the main ingredient of these delicious cakes, instead of almond paste. They can also be topped with jam, chocolate, or fruits in syrup.
    Even though macaroons look like cookies, bakers technically classify them as cakes because they do not contain any flour.
    Not a Macaron
    Oftentimes, macaroons are confused with the colorful macaron. While a macaron is made of similar ingredients - almond flour, egg whites, and sugar, there is a world of difference in the taste, texture, and presentation of the two treats.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn how to make macaroons. Whip up a batch and share them with your family and friends. Try different variations of the cake, perhaps by adding fruit or chocolate? Or maybe a spice like cinnamon or cardamom? Did You Know...
    ...that the word macaroon comes from the Italian word maccarone, meaning paste.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    An angry customer called me at the florist shop where I work. Her problem: the card. Her kids had sent the flowers and wanted it signed "Love, your two rugrats."

    Instead, the card read "Love, your two regrets."
     
    ***
     
    Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

    "What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!"

    "That's why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don't have to drive $500 cars."
     
    ***
     
    During World War II, selective service wasn't always so selective. My nearsighted friend went before the draft board to explain just how poor his vision was. "If I lose my glasses, I won't be able to see at all," he told them.

    "Don't you worry," replied the sergeant in charge. "When we attack, we'll stick you in front of the battalion. You won't miss a thing."
     
    ***
     
    While I was assigned to the space shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers requested a new dictionary. Following regulations, I asked him why he needed it.

    I expected his answer to be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he said, "My current edition defines spaceship as an ‘imaginary aircraft.'"

    He got his new dictionary.
     
     
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    He is one sick puppy!
     
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    ( I apologize for this one in advance, but you have admit it is funny! )

     
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    Q:
    Why is the number 13 considered bad luck?
     
    A:
    Several different reasons exist for the superstition that the number 13 brings bad luck, such as the fact that 13 people sat down at the Last Supper, shortly before the crucifixion of Jesus. The Norse legends included a story about 12 gods sitting at a banquet when Loki, the uninvited god, showed up to make it 13, a debacle that led to a huge battle. Numerologists view the number 12 as the sign of completion and perfection, so adding to it only causes trouble.
     
    Other superstitions have grown up around the number 13. of course. One belief was that a coven of witches had to contain exactly 13 members. and another suggested that if your name has 13 letters, you are fated to have the luck of the devil. Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer and Jack the Ripper might agree, of course.
     
    Friday and the number 13 have developed a special relationship when it comes to bad luck. Part of this dates back to the mass roundup and execution of members of the Knights Templar, which took place on Friday, October 13 in the year 1307. Friday, October 13, 1972, was the day when a Uruguayan plane crashed along the Andes Mountains, killing 29, and a Russian plane crashed about half a mile away from the runway, killing 174. So the superstitious out there have plenty of ammunition.
     
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    May 30th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Anguilla Day, commemorates the beginning of the Anguillian Revolution in 1967. (Anguilla) Canary Islands Day (Spain) Christian feast day: Ferdinand III of Castile Isaac of Dalmatia Joan of Arc Joseph Marello May 30 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Indian Arrival Day (Trinidad and Tobago) Lod Massacre Remembrance Day Mother's Day (Nicaragua) Statehood Day (Croatia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Corpus Christi
    Fakesgiving
    International Hug Your Cat Day
    Loomis Day
    National Creativity Day
    National E-Bike Day
    National Mint Julep Day
    National Sofia Day
    World MS Day
    International Day of the Potato
    National Water a Flower Day
     
    Theo McCoy’s Birthday
    Remy Ma’s Birthday
    Olivia Ponton’s Birthday
    Mark Sheppard’s Birthday
    Carly Lawrence’s Birthday
    Idina Menzel
     
    Fun Observances
    My Bucket's Got a Hole Day
    May 30 is My Bucket’s Got A Hole in It Day, a day to carry around a bucket with a hole with you.

    It is unclear if the unofficial holiday was created in honor of the song by the same name made popular by American singer Hank Williams or to celebrate buckets with holes in them. Either way, see below on how to celebrate this offbeat hole-i-day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Listen to the song by the same name. Trick someone by making a hole in their bucket. Ask them to do something silly with the bucket, like fill another bucket or water the lawn. Ask people you meet the answer to the Hole in the Bucket puzzle: I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I’ll make it lighter. What am I? A hole. Did You Know…
    …that the children's song There is a Hole in the Bucket describes a deadlock situation? To fix a bucket with a hole, the protagonist needs to cut a piece of straw with a knife, which needs to be sharpened on a sharpening stone which needs to be watered with water using the bucket, which has a hole.
     
     
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    As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.

    "Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner.

    "That's him," comes the reply.

    "He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"

    "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
     
    ***
     
    The Week asked its readers to come up with the name of a French fast-food restaurant:
    •Brief Bourguignonne
    •Kentucky Fried Chic
    •Tore de Pants
    •Fatatouille
    •Fryer Jacques
    •Have It Eur Way
    •Chomps Élysées
     
    ***
     
    Clientsfromhell.com was established by freelance art directors and graphic designers who have seen the dark side of their clients … and survived.

    Client No. 1: So it turns out you were right about me wanting a colon instead of a semicolon. But since we're on the subject, I'd like you to revisit the copy and include more semicolons. I want people to think we're smart.

    Client No. 2: Since you have overbid on our project, can you recommend anyone who has your exact same design skills and client-relationship abilities for half the cost?

    Client No. 3: Please be sure to print the cover and the table of contents at the front of the book, then print the chapters in this order: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.
     
    ***
     
    A touching tribute to a waitress, spotted outside a local restaurant:
    "RIP Sandy. We will miss you. Server needed."
     
     
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    May 29th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Army Day (Argentina) Ascension of Bahá'u'lláh (Baháʼí Faith) (Only if Baháʼí Naw-Rúz falls on March 21 of the Gregorian calendar) Christian feast day: Bona of Pisa Hypomone (Eastern Orthodox Church) Joseph Gérard Maximin of Trier Pope Alexander of Alexandria (Eastern Orthodox Church) Pope Paul VI Richard Thirkeld Theodosia of Constantinople (Eastern Orthodox Church) Ursula Ledóchowska May 29 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers (International) Oak Apple Day (England), and its related observance: Castleton Garland Day (Castleton) Veterans Day (Sweden) Democracy Day (Nigeria)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    End of the Middle Ages Day
    Learn About Composting Day
    Mount Everest Day
    National Alligator Day
    National Biscuit Day
    National Coq Au Vin Day
    National Edison Day
    National Flip Flop Day
    National Hydroxyapatite Day
    National Paperclip Day - 1
    Paperclip Day - 2
    National Senior Health and Fitness Day
    National Snail Day
    World Digestive Health Day
    World Otter Day
    End of the Middle Ages Day
    World Tiger Nut Day
     
    John F. Kennedy’s Birthday
    Carmelo Anthony’s Birthday
    Mel B
    Riley Keough
     
    Fun Observances
    Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day
    On May 29 put a pillow on your fridge to bring good luck and wealth to your home because it is Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day.

    The origins of Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day are unknown, but common wisdom is that the holiday gives a modern day twist to the old tradition of putting linens in the pantry to bring luck. Why doing so will bring luck is anyone's guess.
    How to Celebrate?
    Put a pillow on your fridge to bring luck. Make sure you let your other family members know that you are celebrating the day lest they think you are turning the fridge into your bed. Did You Know…
    ...that historians believe that pillows have been used by people to rest their heads while sleeping since 7,000 BCE?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    I served in a parachute regiment. During a nighttime exercise, I was seated next to a young officer. He was looking a bit pale, so I asked, "Scared, lieutenant?"

    "No," he replied. "Apprehensive."

    "What's the difference?"

    "That means I'm scared, but with a university education."     ***
     
    My husband and I attended a bridal fair trying to drum up work for his fledgling wedding photography business. One vendor assumed we were engaged and asked when the big day was.

    "Oh, we've been married ten years," I said.

    "Really?" she asked. "But you look so happy."
     
    ***
     
    My five-year-old grandson was looking through some old photos when he noticed his grandfather in his Marine dress blues.

    "What kind of costume is that?" he asked.

    "That's not a costume," his grandfather growled. "Men have died for that uniform."

    The boy looked up and said, "So you stole it, then?"
     
    ***
     
    A guy in a Kia pulls up next to a Rolls-Royce at a red light and asks, "Hey, is your car Bluetooth enabled?" The Rolls owner nods.

    "So is mine. Got Wi-Fi?" The Rolls owner nods again.

    "Me too. What about a double bed?"

    "No. Do you?" asks the Rolls guy.

    "Yep."

    The Kia owner peers out. "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"
     
     
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  11. sandrewn

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    May 28th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Croatia) Christian feast day: Bernard of Menthon Germain of Paris John Calvin (Episcopal Church) Lanfranc Margaret Pole William of Gellone May 28 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Downfall of the Derg Day (Ethiopia) Flag Day (Philippines) Menstrual Hygiene Day Republic Day (Nepal) TDFR Republic Day, celebrates the declaration of independence of the First Republic of Armenia and the Azerbaijan Democratic Republic from the Transcaucasian Democratic Federative Republic in 1918. (Azerbaijan and Armenia) Youm-e-Takbir (Pakistan)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Abolition Day (Saint Martin)
    Amnesty International Day
    International Day of Action on Women’s Health
    Julia Pierpont Day
    National Brisket Day
    International Burger Day
    National Jake Day
    National Flag Day Philippines
    Whooping Crane Day
    World Hunger Day - 1
    World Hunger Day - 2
    World Passion Fruit Martini Day
    Thales Day
    National Multiple Births Awareness Day
     
    Roman Atwood’s Birthday
    Seth Rollins’s Birthday
    Dahyun’s Birthday
    Elle McBroom’s Birthday
    Cameron Boyce’s Birthday
    Rodeo Lil Bling Bling’s Birthday
    Michael Oher
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Tue May 28th, 2024 - Thu May 30th, 2024 Scripps National Spelling Bee     Fun Observances
    Hamburger Day
    Celebrate the humble, but delicious hamburger on May 28, Hamburger Day.

    While the hamburger owes its name to the city of Hamburg in Germany, the hamburger, as it is known and loved today worldwide – a meat patty wedged inside two slices of bun, is distinctly an American invention.
    The unofficial holiday is also sometimes known as National Hamburger Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Eat hamburgers for all your meals on this day. Gourmet up your burgers by adding toppings like caramelized onions and mushrooms and blue cheese. Host a backyard barbecue and treat your guests to delicious homemade burgers. Did You Know…
    …that during the Second World War, American soldiers tried to rename the hamburger as liberty burger.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the nurse on duty. "On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is now?"

    She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not good with math."
     
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    Our company was conducting free body mass index checkups. When a stout colleague climbed onto the machine, it spit out a slip of paper telling him what his weight-to-height ratio was and what it ought to be.

    "What does it say?" I asked.

    He replied, "I need to increase my height by six inches."
     
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    The Mexican restaurant looked great. Only one problem: It wasn't open. So I jotted down the name for another day. Just then, a man came out of the restaurant and took a peek at what I'd written.

    "That's not the name of the restaurant," he said, pointing to the sign over the door. "That's Spanish for 'Closed on Mondays.'"
     
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    A friend and I were watching a film when a character called another a nymphomaniac.

    "What's that mean?" she asked.

    "It's a female who's addicted to sex," I answered.

    "What do they call males who are addicted to sex?"

    "Men."    
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    Moment (time) - Wikipedia
     
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    Has anyone seen or tried this yet ?
     
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    Just some Epic condoms...

     
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  12. sandrewn

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    May 27th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Armed Forces Day (Nicaragua) Children's Day (Nigeria) Christian feast day: Augustine of Canterbury Blessed Lojze Grozde Bruno of Würzburg Eutropius of Orange Hildebert Julius the Veteran May 27 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Mother's Day (Bolivia) Navy Day (Japan) Slavery Abolition Day (Guadeloupe, Saint Barthélemy, Saint Martin) Start of National Reconciliation Week (Australia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Asher day
    Cheese Rolling Gloucester
    Decoration Day
    Memorial Day - 1
    Prayer for Peace Memorial Day - 2
    National Aaron Day
    National Cellophane Tape Day
    National Grape Popsicle Day
    National Gray Day
    National Hairstylist Mental Health Awareness Day
    National Jordan Day
    National Melissa Day
    Nothing to Fear Day
    Old Time Player Piano Day
    Spring Bank Holiday
    World Marketing Day
     
    Ryan Henry’s Birthday
    Royalty Brown’s Birthday
    Jadakiss’s Birthday
    Blippi’s Birthday
    Zach Herron’s Birthday
    Princess Mae’s Birthday
    Wayne Williams
    Henry Kissinger
    Lily-Rose Depp
    Paul Bettany
    Lisa Lopes
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon May 27th, 2024 - Fri May 31st, 2024 Water Saving Week   Mon May 27th, 2024 - Sun Jun 2nd, 2024 National BBQ Week   Fun Observances
    Sun Screen Day
    Get ready for the summer (if you live in the Northern Hemisphere) by learning more about sunscreen and its advantages on May 27, Sunscreen Day.

    Sunscreen, also known as suntan lotion, sun screen, or sun block is usually a cream or spray that is applied to bare skin in order to protect it from the Sun's harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays, and from sun burn.
    Medical professionals recommend that people apply sunscreen to skin exposed to sunlight to prevent skin cancer.
    There are many types of sunscreens available in the market these days - some only prevent sunburns while others prevent both sunburns and the Sun's harmful UV rays from entering the skin. Use this unofficial, but important, holiday to understand which type of sunscreen to use when going out to enjoy the summer sun.
    How to Celebrate?
    Stock up on sunscreen for the summer. Learn more about the different kinds of sunscreens and how they protect you. Listen to the Sunscreen song. The song is a spoken word song by Baz Luhrmann that features an essay titled Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young, written by columnist Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune on June 1, 1997. Did You Know…
    ...that even though long-term exposure to UV rays is harmful to our bodies, the human body needs UV rays to form Vitamin D?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    As a salesperson, I do a lot of business over the phone. One man who called to place an order had a nice voice, so when he asked if I wanted his number, I took the opportunity to offer mine as well.

    "Um," he stammered, "I was talking about my purchase-order number."
     
    ***
     
    In these tough times, there are certain things we must all learn to stint on. Toilet paper, though, is not one of them. Waitrose, a high-end British supermarket, wants to turn your toilet into a throne with toilet paper made from cashmere. And the store is selling it for the unprincely sum of $3.60 for a four-pack.
    "It's the little luxuries that put a smile on your face," says a company spokesman.
     
    ***
     
    A coworker stormed into my friend's office, yelling, "Did you tell Joan I was a witch?!"
    Stunned, my friend sputtered, "No! I don't know how she found out."
     
    ***
     
    This job requires a specialist:
    "A local corporation is seeking a medical billing specialist. 2 years exp. bilking Medicare."
     
     
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    You Mean That Wasn't Vegemite?
     
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    Giant snake flees Mississippi floods
     
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    May 26th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Augustine of Canterbury (Anglican Communion and Eastern Orthodox) Lambert of Vence Peter Sanz (one of Martyr Saints of China) Philip Neri Pope Eleutherius Quadratus of Athens Zachary, Bishop of Vienne May 26 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Independence Day, commemorates the day of the First Republic in 1918 (Georgia) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Guyana from the United Kingdom in 1966. Mother's Day (Poland) National Paper Airplane Day (United States) National Sorry Day (Australia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    General Prayer Day
    Indianapolis 500
    Lag BaOmer
    National Blueberry Cheesecake Day
    National Cherry Dessert Day
    Sally Ride Day
    Trinity Sunday
    World Dracula Day
    World Red Head Day
     
    Stevie Nicks’s Birthday
    John Wayne’s Birthday
    Scott Disick’s Birthday
    Nicole Tv’s Birthday
    Lenny Kravitz’s Birthday
    Jace’s Birthday
    Lauryn Hill
    Miles Davis
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun May 26th, 2024 - Sat Jun 1st, 2024 Samoan Language Week   Fun Observances
    World Lindy Hop Day
    Put on your dancing shoes and do the Lindy Hop, because May 26 is World Lindy Hop Day.

    Also known as the jitterbug, Lindy Hop originated in Harlem, New York City in the 1920s and 1930s. The day commemorates Frankie Manning, who some consider one of the creators of the dance form.
    Combination of Dance Forms
    A combination of different kinds of dances, including jazz, swing, and tap, Lindy Hop is a two-person dance where the partners dance hand in hand or in an embrace to jazz music. Just as in jazz, there is some form of improvisation that takes place during the dance.
    Going Through a Revival
    Popular in the 1930s and 1940s, interest in the dance form declined until the 1980s when a number of dance groups around the world revived it by holding annual workshops, camps, and competitions.
    How to Celebrate?
    Learn how to dance the Lindy Hop. Host a Lindy Hop dance party or participate in one near you. Did You Know…
    …that some people believe that the name, Lindy Hop, may have originated from the name of aviator Charles Lindbergh? Lindbergh was fondly called Lindy by the media and after he successfully finished his solo flight between New York and Paris, media headlines read Lindy Hops the Atlantic.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers.

    "Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer.

    "Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust," she responded.

    "And how did that turn out?"

    "I don't know," she said. "Ask me when I'm dead."
     
    ***
     
    My husband is—how should I put this—cheap, once going so far as to reuse the freezer bags our grown daughter Molly left behind after a visit.
    Needless to say, it gave me a start when, looking through the freezer, I found packages labeled steak, chicken breast, and Molly.
     
    ***
     
    Following his motivational talk at a Weight Watchers meeting, my father noticed one client’s small son climbing onto a scale.

    "Don’t go on that, Joey," warned the boy’s slightly older brother.

    "It makes people cry."
     
    ***
     
    I was in the back of our ambulance tending to a patient when we slowed to a crawl. Just ahead of us, a huge semi was hauling a house.

    "Don’t you hate that?" said our driver. "When people are simply too lazy to pack."
     
     
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    It's nothing honey...go back to sleep...
     
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    Shibboleth - Wikipedia
     
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  14. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1028
    May 25th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Africa Day (African Union) African Liberation Day (African Union, Rastafari) Christian feast day: Aldhelm Bede Canius Dionysius of Milan Dúnchad mac Cinn Fáelad Gerard of Lunel Madeleine Sophie Barat Mary Magdalene de Pazzi Maximus (Mauxe) of Évreux Pope Boniface IV Pope Gregory VII Pope Urban I Zenobius of Florence May 25 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) First National Government / National Day (Argentina) Geek Pride Day (geek culture) Independence Day, celebrates the independence of Jordan from the United Kingdom in 1946. Last bell (Russia, post-Soviet countries) Liberation Day (Lebanon) International Missing Children's Day and its related observances: National Missing Children's Day (United States), National Tap Dance Day (United States) Towel Day in honor of the work of the writer Douglas Adams  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Amateur Radio Military Appreciation Day
    Global Africa Day
    International Skin Pigmentation Day
    National Bath Bomb Day
    National Brown-Bag It Day
    National Cody Day
    National Enzo Day
    National George Day
    National Italian Beef Day
    National VTuber Day
    National Wig Out Day
    National Wine Day
    Tracky Dack Day
    World Thyroid Day
    World Fish Migration Day
     
    Roman Reigns’s Birthday
    Mike Myers’s Birthday
    Chloe Lukasiak’s Birthday
    Thorgy Thor’s Birthday
    Avery Gay’s Birthday
    Cillian Murphy’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sat May 25th, 2024 - Fri May 31st, 2024 International Week of Solidarity with the Peoples of Non-Self-Governing Territories   Sat May 25th, 2024 - Sun Jun 2nd, 2024 National Children’s Gardening Week     Fun Observances ( 2 )
     Sing Out Day
    Open up your vocal chords and sing out loud from your heart on Sing Out Day. Celebrated every year on May 25 the unofficial holiday encourages people to sing their hearts out. Loudly.

    Whether you make a living by singing, are a bathroom singer, a karaoke champion, or someone who is requested to sing at every party, this is the day to pretend that the whole world is your adoring audience and sing yourself hoarse!
    The holiday is also sometimes called International Sing Out Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Sing out as loud as you can, wherever you can. Don't hold back. You never know, there may be a talent scout around who may discover you! If singing is your passion, but if you have never had the courage to sing in front of others, today is your day to unleash your talent on the world. Go to a Karaoke Bar and sing your heart out. Did You Know…
    ...that singing, especially in groups can be beneficial for health? Studies have shown that singing alleviates bad moods, reduces stress, and can actually improve the body's immune function. Now, that's a very good reason to celebrate Sing Out Day!
    ~~~~~~~
      Towel Day
    Carry a towel and don’t panic on Towel Day. Celebrated annually on May 25, this unofficial holiday celebrates the hugely popular science fiction comedy, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (H2G2) by Douglas Adams.

    The holiday stems out of a key phrase in the series of books, called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - A Trilogy in Five Parts that refer to a towel as “…the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.”
    How to Celebrate?
    Carry a towel with you wherever you go. If you haven’t read the books, why not pick them up and start reading them today? We assure you, you will not regret it! Listen to the radio show or watch the movie adaptations based on the books. Host an H2G2 themed party. Give out towels to your guests as favors. Regale them with bad poetry – hopefully not as bad as Vogon poetry. Serve them a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, lots of fish, and tea, and decorate your venue with petunias and signs that remind people not to panic. Attend a local Towel Day event. Did You Know…
    …that H2G2 was originally a radio show? Its popularity prompted Adams to write the books.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Movie Quotes—The First Drafts
    The Godfather: "I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Well, he can refuse it, of course. I just know that if someone were to make me an offer like this, I’d jump all over it. But who am I to impose my feelings on someone else?"
    The Terminator: "I’ll be back. Do you need anything while I’m up?"
    Dirty Harry: "You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? I ask myself that every day, and you know what? I feel so very lucky. Loving family, steady work …"
    Taxi Driver: "You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Sorry, it looked like you were talkin’ to me. My mistake."
     
    ***
     
    I enrolled in an online school to become a private investigator. I gave them my money, and then I never heard back from them.
    I thought, Either I just got ripped off, or this is my first case.
     
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    Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving in Vietnam. His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade school history report on the war.
    She wrote, "My Grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off."
     
    ***
     
    When my summer teaching post in the Czech Republic came to an end, I told my students my next teaching destination would be in Australia, "the land down under." On my final day, they presented me with a card.
    The carefully worded note read "Good luck, and happy journey to the underworld."
     
     
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    R.I.P. ( Dec 28,1922 - Nov 12, 2018 )
     
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    sandrewn
  15. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1027
    May 24th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Aldersgate Day/Wesley Day (Methodism) Battle of Pichincha Day (Ecuador) Bermuda Day (Bermuda), celebrated on the nearest weekday if May 24 falls on the weekend. Christian feast day: Anna Pak Agi (one of The Korean Martyrs) Donatian and Rogatian Jackson Kemper (Episcopal Church) Joanna Mary, Help of Christians Sarah (celebrated by the Romani people of Camargue) Vincent of Lérins May 24 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Commonwealth Day (Belize) Independence Day (Eritrea), celebrates the independence of Eritrea from Ethiopia in 1993. Lubiri Memorial Day (Buganda) Saints Cyril and Methodius Day (Eastern Orthodox Church, Julian Calendar) and its related observance: Bulgarian Education and Culture and Slavonic Literature Day (Bulgaria) Saints Cyril and Methodius, Slavonic Enlighteners' Day (North Macedonia) Victoria Day; celebrated on Monday on or before May 24. (Canada), and its related observance: National Patriots' Day or Journée nationale des patriotes (Quebec)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Aviation Maintenance Technician Day
    Carb Day
    Don’t Fry Day
    Empire Day
    International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament
    National Asparagus Day
    National Brother's Day
    National Caterers Appreciation Day
    National Cooler Day
    National Death Busters Day
    National Escargot Day
    National Mike Day
    National Road Trip Day
    National Title Track Day
    Tiara Day
    World Schizophrenia Day
     
    Queen Victoria’s Birthday
    Patti LaBelle’s Birthday
    G-Eazy’s Birthday
    Claire Rock Smith’s Birthday
    Bob Dylan’s Birthday
    Suzanne Lenglen’s Birthday
    Harry Jowsey’s Birthday
    Priscilla Presley
    Tommy Chong
     
    Fun Observances
    Scavenger Hunt Day
    May 24 is Scavenger Hunt Day, an annual celebration of the popular party game called scavenger hunt. The unofficial holiday encourages people to get together with friends and family and participate in a scavenger hunt.

    A scavenger hunt is a game where individuals or teams compete to find items or perform tasks provided to them as a list by the organizers of the game. The aim of the game is for participants to fulfill the requirements on the list. Usually, at the end the hunt a grand prize awaits the first person/ team to reach the end of the list. Scavenger hunts combine aspects of racing, competitive hunting, and hide and seek.
    Based on Clues
    In many hunts, the organizers hide items in difficult to find places and give the participants clues on how and where to find them. Other hunts may require contestants to complete a route.
    In recent years, technology has alleviated the way the game is played and has made it possible for players around the world to participate in scavenger hunts. Internet scavenger hunts require people to surf online and visit websites to find clues and solve problems.
    Geocaching
    Geocaching is yet another recent innovation in the world of scavenger hunting. It is the use of Global Positioning system (GPS) receivers to find caches or geocaches hidden at different spots around the world. A cache is usually a waterproof container that includes a log book and trinkets. Finders are required to leave their signature or name in the log book and may take a trinket out of the box as a way to remind them of their achievement. They must replace the trinket with another one of their choice and leave the cache in the same place they found it for others to find.
    Scavenger Hunt Day is also sometimes known as National Scavenger Hunt Day.
    How to Celebrate?
    Organize a scavenger hunt for family and friends. To make it more interesting, include some attractive looking prizes and do it for charity. Make work fun by doing a scavenger hunt at work during lunch time. Participate in a scavenger hunt organized by your city or other local organizations. Did You Know…
    ...that the word scavenger comes from the 14th-century English word scawageour? The word referred to officials that collected taxes.
     
     
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    Do you have a nickname for your beloved? Snookums, maybe? My Little Dollop of Joy? The Brits have lots of them. The London jeweler H. Samuel discovered these pet names signed on gift cards:

    • Sexy Pig
    • Poo Face
    • Sausage
    • Chubby Cheeks
    • Monkey Boy
    • Fatty Bum Bum
    • Lobster
     
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    Sam shows up at a revival meeting, seeking help.

    "I need you to pray for my hearing," he tells the preacher.

    The preacher puts his fingers on Sam's ears and prays and prays. When he's done, he asks, "How's your hearing now?"

    "I don't know," says Sam. "I don't go to court till next Tuesday."
     
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    Justice isn't just blind—it's snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes:

    Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie?
    Witness: Yes. I would go to hell.
    Judge: Is that all?
    Witness: Isn't that enough?

    Q: Isn't it a fact that you have been running around with another woman?
    A: Yes, it is, but you can't prove it!

    Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth?
    A: A fifth of wine?
    Q: No, the Fifth Amendment.

    Q: What did your sister die of?
    A: You would have to ask her. I would be speculating if I told you.
     
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    I was delivering pizzas when I fell hard onto the sidewalk. Seeing me sprawled on the ground, my concerned customer yelled, "Oh, no! The pizzas!"
     
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    My 11-year-old grandson spent 
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom’s basement playing video games all day!” His reply: “I can only dream.”
     
     
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    sandrewn
    I still can not sign in to Pinterest, sorry.
  16. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1026
    May 23rd 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Aromanian National Day Christian feast day: Aaron the Illustrious (Syriac Orthodox Church) Desiderius of Vienne Giovanni Battista de' Rossi Julia of Corsica Nicolaus Copernicus and Johannes Kepler (Episcopal Church (USA)) Quintian, Lucius and Julian William of Perth May 23 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constitution Day (Germany) Labour Day (Jamaica) Students' Day (Mexico) World Turtle Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Buddha Purnima
    Chardonnay Day
    Day of Vesak - 1
    Vesak - 2
    International Day to End Obstetric Fistula
    Lucky Penny Day
    Medical Coder Day
    National Drinking with Chickens Day
    National Ethan Day
    National Reed Day
    National Taffy Day
    World Crohn's and Colitis Day
    National Title Track Day
     
    Drew Carey’s Birthday
    Jason Nash’s Birthday
    James Charles’s Birthday
    Jackson Duggar’s Birthday
    Bray Wyatt
     
     
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    All parents are proud of overachieving children, and one father was no exception. The bumper sticker on his car read "My Kid Made Your License Plate."
     
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    Every night, Harry goes out drinking. And every night, his wife, Louise, yells at him. One day, one of Louise's friends suggests that she try a different tack. "Welcome him home with a kiss and some loving words," she says. "He might change his ways."

    That night, Harry stumbles back home as usual. But instead of berating him, Louise helps him into an easy chair, puts his feet up on the ottoman, removes his shoes, and gently massages his neck.

    "It's late," she whispers. "I think we should go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"

    "Might as well," says Harry. "I'll get in trouble if I go home."
     
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    A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him, and now he can say only one word a year. So he waits 14 agonizing years—accumulating all his words—before approaching his beloved. Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat. He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, "My darling, I have waited many years to say this: Will you marry me?" The princess turns around, smiles, and says, "Pardon?"
     
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    Tourists say some odd things when they charter my boat in Key West. "How many sunset sails do you have at night?" asked one. Another wondered, "Does the water go around the island?"

    But the most interesting came when I asked a customer why she'd brought along a dozen empty jars. She answered, "I want to take home a sample of each color of water that we'll be going in."
     
     
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      sandrewn
    For some reason I can not log into Pinterest, so I could not add any new jokes to this blog, sorry.
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    Bread Crumbs 1025
    May 22nd 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Abolition Day (Martinique) Aromanian National Day (marginal, celebration on May 23 is more common) Christian feast day: Castus and Emilius Fulk Humilita Michael Hồ Đình Hy (one of Vietnamese Martyrs) Quiteria Rita of Cascia Romanus of Subiaco May 22 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Harvey Milk Day (California) International Day for Biological Diversity (International) United States National Maritime Day National Sovereignty Day (Haiti) Republic Day (Sri Lanka) Translation of the Relics of Saint Nicholas from Myra to Bari (Ukraine) Unity Day (Yemen), celebrates the unification of North and South Yemen into the Republic of Yemen in 1990. World Goth Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Bitcoin Pizza Day
    Canadian Immigrants Day
    Declaration of the Bab
    Emergency Medical Services for Children Day (EMSC)
    International Coco Mom Day
    National Boss Babe Day
    National Craft Distillery Day
    National Julie Day
    National Solitaire Day
    National Vanilla Pudding Day
    Sherlock Holmes Day
    World Paloma Day
    World Preeclampsia Day
    National Numeracy Day - 1
    National Numeracy Day UK - 2
     
    Emma Chamberlain’s Birthday
    Maggie Q
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wed May 22nd, 2024 - Tue May 28th, 2024 National Safe Boating Week   Fun Observances
    Buy a Musical Instrument Day
    Fancy yourself a musician? Then, on May 22 take the first step towards fulfilling your dreams and go and buy yourself a musical instrument because it is Buy a Musical Instrument Day.

    Music has been an important part of human society throughout history, and musical instruments have occupied an important space in human communication and culture. Those who made and played musical instruments were given a place of honor in almost all societies.
    Hunting And Religious Rituals
    It is believed that primitive musical instruments were made of bones, shells, and wood, and were used rituals like hunting and religious ceremonies. As time has passed and human communication evolved, historians and archeologists believe that humans developed the idea of melody and started inventing and playing musical instruments for purposes of entertainment.
    Evolve Over Time
    While musical instruments have evolved over time, with each generation developing new instruments and improving on older ones, the Renaissance is thought to have been the best time in the history of musical instruments, when many of the classical musical instruments were given the shape they still have.
    In the past century, advances in electronics have entered the field of musical instruments as well, as many of the innovations in the field have been in the area of electronic musical instruments.
    How to Celebrate?
    Go out and buy the instrument you have always wanted to play but never had the time to. If you already have an instrument, what about starting to learn to play it? Don't have the money to buy a new musical instrument? What about DIY-ing one at home using common household materials? Interested in the history of musical instruments? There is an academic field called organology dedicated it. Use this day to delve deep into the history and the science behind your favorite musical instrument. Did You Know…
    …that historians believe that the flute was one of the oldest musical instruments created by humans?
     
     
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    As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto "Death from above!" Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared "Death from below!"

    Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: "Death from within!"   ***
     
    Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his barstool and lies motionless on the floor.

    "One thing about Fred," his buddy says to the bartender. "He knows when to stop."
     
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    In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. "So was Santa good to you?" she asked.

    "Real good," he said. "I got an SUV."

    "Nice."

    "Yeah … Socks, Underwear, and Viagra."
     
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    I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
    I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
     
     
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    May 21st 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Afro-Colombian Day (Colombia) Christian feast day: Arcangelo Tadini Blessed Adílio Daronch and Manuel Gómez González Blessed Franz Jägerstätter Earliest day on which Corpus Christi can fall, while June 24 is the latest; held on Thursday after Trinity Sunday (often locally moved to Sunday). (Roman Catholic Church) Emperor Constantine I Eugène de Mazenod Helena of Constantinople, also known as "Feast of the Holy Great Sovereigns Constantine and Helen, Equal-to-the-Apostles." (Eastern Orthodox Church, Anglican Communion) John Elliot (Episcopal Church) Saints of the Cristero War, including Christopher Magallanes May 21 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Circassian Day of Mourning (Circassians) Day of Patriots and Military (Hungary) Independence Day, celebrates the Montenegrin independence referendum in 2006, celebrated until the next day. (Montenegro) International Tea Day (International) Navy Day (Chile) Saint Helena Day, celebrates the discovery of Saint Helena in 1502. (Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan da Cunha) World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development (International)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Eat More Fruits and Vegetables Day
    End of the World
    I Need a Patch For That Day
    National American Red Cross Founder’s Day
    National Memo Day
    National Stop Nausea Day
    National Strawberries and Cream Day
    National Waiters and Waitresses Day
    National Waitstaff Day
    Pesach Sheni
    Rapture Party Day
    Sister Maria Hummel Day
    World Fish Migration Day
    World Meditation Day
     
    Josh Allen’s Birthday
    Notorious B.I.G.’s Birthday
    Noel Fielding’s Birthday
     
    Fun Observances
      Talk Like Yoda Day
    Talk like Yoda Day it is on May 21. The day honors the popular Star Wars character whose grammar is any language teacher’s worst nightmare.

    Yoda is a fictional Star Wars character created by George Lucas. Known as the oldest wisest and most powerful Jedi in the Star Wars universe, Yoda made his debut appearance in The Empire Strikes Back, which was released in the United States on May 21, 1980. He has since appeared in over 50 films and TV shows.
    Mysterious History
    While many of the Star Wars characters have a background story, much of Yoda's background is a mystery. No one knows where he comes from or what species he belongs to.
    Peculiar Way of Speaking
    Yoda has a peculiar style of speaking. His language, Yodish, is similar to English except the sentence structure follows the order of object-subject-verb instead of the usual subject-verb-object order that English speakers follow while constructing sentences.
    It is believed that the puppet used to play the character in the Star Wars movies was modeled after Einstein's appearance.
    The holiday is also sometimes known as National Talk like Yoda Day or International Talk like Yoda Day.
    To celebrate how?
    Yoda, talk like. Simple, it is. Add verb and subject at the end of your sentence in the order of object-subject-verb. Have a Star Wars themed party and have your friends come up with their favorite Yoda quotes. Do a Star Wars marathon. Learn more about Yoda's background and history - as much as is available. Show off your Star Wars geek pride. Wear a Star Wars inspired costume or t-shirt the whole day long.  
    …that there is a deep-sea worm named after Yoda? The Yoda purpurata can be found about 1.5 miles (2.4 km) below the surface of the Atlantic sea.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Suspecting he had a serious medical condition, I nagged my husband until he agreed to see a doctor. Once there, he was handed a mountain of forms to fill out.
    Next to "Reason for visit?" he wrote, "My wife made me."
     
    ***
     
    Three guys are talking about what constitutes fame. The first guy defines it as being invited to the White House for a chat with the president.
    "Nah," says the second guy. "Real fame would be if the red phone rang when you were there, and the president wouldn't take the call."
    "You're both wrong," says the third. "Fame is when you're in the Oval Office and the red phone rings, the president answers it, listens for a second, and then says, "'It's for you.'"
     
    ***
     
    My son Timothy was his brother's best man. To commemorate the event, Daniel bought him a silver mug, but the engraver made a slight mistake. The mug read "Best man once, a bother forever."
     
    ***
     
    A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears. "What are you?" asks the cat.

    "A gnome," comes the reply. "I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?"

    The cat replies, "Um, I'm a gnome."
     
     
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    May 20th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Abercius and Helena Alcuin of York Aurea of Ostia Austregisilus Baudilus Bernardino of Siena Ivo of Chartres Lucifer of Cagliari Sanctan May 20 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Day of Remembrance (Cambodia) Emancipation Day (Florida) European Maritime Day (European Council) Independence Restoration Day, celebrates the independence of East Timor from Indonesia in 2002. Josephine Baker Day (NAACP) National Awakening Day (Indonesia), and its related observances: Indonesian Doctor Day (Indonesia) National Day (Cameroon) World Bee Day World Metrology Day  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Clinical Trials Day
    Eliza Doolittle Day
    Flower Day
    Hats for Headway
    International Red Sneakers Day
    National Band Director’s Day
    National Eli Day
    National High Heel Day
    National Jase Day
    National Pick Strawberries Day
    National Quiche Lorraine Day
    National Rescue Dog Day
    National Rio Day
    National Streaming Day
    National Women In Aerospace Day
    Victoria Day
    Weights and Measures Day
    Whit Monday
    Whit Monday (Martinique)
    Whit Monday (Saint Barthelemy)
    Whit Monday (Saint Martin)
    World Autoimmune Arthritis Day
    International Academic Freedom Day
     
    Lonnie Adolphsen’s Birthday
    Frank Medrano’s Birthday
    Doug The Pug’s Birthday
    Cher’s Birthday
    Austin McBroom’s Birthday
    Addy Maxwell’s Birthday
    Timothy Olyphant
    James Stewart
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Mon May 20th, 2024 - Sat May 25th, 2024 Noise Action Week Walk to School Week UK   Mon May 20th, 2024 - Sun May 26th, 2024 Epilepsy Awareness Week Learning at Work Week National Safe Sun Week National Vegetarian Week Knife Crime Awareness Week Italian Beef Week   Mon May 20th, 2024 - Sun Jun 2nd, 2024 British Tomato Fortnight   Fun Observances
     Be a Millionaire Day
    Be A Millionaire Day is on May 20. On this day pretend to be a millionaire or start working on your plans that you think will make you a millionaire.

    A millionaire is someone who is worth a million units in his or her country's currency. According to the 2014 Global Wealth Report, a study conducted by the Boston Consulting Group, there were about 16 million millionaire households in 2013. The United States had the highest number of millionaires at 7.1 million households, with China coming in second at 2.4 million millionaire households.
    How to Celebrate?
    Get started on making your life plans possible. If that means going to school or getting a new degree, why not enroll in school today? If you have ever planned to own a business, maybe it is time to start making your business plans. Did You Know…
    …that John Jacob Astor was thought to be the first multi-millionaire in the United States? His estimated net worth as a percentage of the gross domestic product of the United States at the time of his death in 1884, makes him the 5th richest American in history.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    When I asked my friend if she was planning to attend church, she just shook her head. "I haven't gone in a long time," she said.
    "Besides, it's too late for me. I've probably already broken all seven commandments."
     
    ***
     
    It was time for my dog's annual checkup. Following the vet's instructions, I collected a stool sample and dropped it in a plastic container before we left for his office. When we arrived, I handed the sample to the receptionist, who immediately cracked a smile. The container read "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."     ***
     
    One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly." After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, "Do you think she'll die?"

    "Nope," a little girl in the back said. "I saw this last night on 'Fear Factor.' "
     
    ***
     
    Our elementary school was honoring local veterans. The students were a bit intimidated and didn't know how to approach them.

    "Start by introducing yourself,"

    I said. "Then ask what branch of the military they served in."

    One student walked over to a vet and promptly asked, "What tree are you from?"
     
     
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    OMG, I had those same lawn darts!! A spitting image yellow shirt,
    but my pants were green striped, not black, bell bottoms.
     
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    ( Been there, done that, got the lumps to prove it. )
     
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    May 19th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Calocerus (Eastern Orthodox Church) Crispin of Viterbo Dunstan (Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodox Church; commemoration, Anglicanism) Ivo of Kermartin Joaquina Vedruna de Mas Maria Bernarda Bütler Peter Celestine Pudentiana (Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodox Church) May 19 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Pontian Greek Genocide Remembrance Day (Greece) Commemoration of Atatürk, Youth and Sports Day (Turkey, Northern Cyprus) Remembrance Day (Sri Lanka) Hồ Chí Minh's Birthday (Vietnam) Malcolm X Day (United States of America) National Asian & Pacific Islander HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (United States) Hepatitis Testing Day (United States) Mother's Day (Kyrgyzstan)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Celebrate Your Elected Officials Day
    Emergency Medical Services Day
    Frog Jumping Jubilee Day
    International AIDS Candlelight Memorial
    National Barber Mental Health Awareness Day
    National Chi Day
    National Devil's Food Cake Day
    National Mechanical Dry Eye Day
    Pentecost
    Plant Something Day
    Rural Life Sunday
    Stepmother's Day
    Take Your Parents To The Playground Day
    Whit Sunday
    World Baking Day
    World Family Doctor Day
    World IBD Day
    Ride a Unicycle Day
     
    Orlin Home’s Birthday
    Sam Smith’s Birthday
    Nikocado Avocado’s Birthday
    Marshmello’s Birthday
    Malcolm X’s Birthday
    JoJo Siwa’s Birthday
    Albert Fish
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sun May 19th, 2024 - Sat May 25th, 2024 International Heritage Breeds Week National EMS Week Public Works Week   Fun Observances
    May Ray Day
    On May 19, step out of your offices and homes and soak in the Sun's rays because it is May Ray Day. While the origins of the day are unknown, the day encourages people to enjoy some time under the Sun.

    Last Month of Spring Or Fall
    According to meteorologists, the month of May is the last month of spring in the Northern Hemisphere. It is when the temperatures start raising and the anticipation of summer is evident all around us - in stores with summer clothing and agricultural produce, in nature with summer flowers and plants getting ready to bloom, and in our schools where students are getting ready for the upcoming summer vacations. This makes it the best time of the year to get some sunshine and enjoy the Sun before it gets too hot.
    In the Southern Hemisphere, May is the last month of fall (autumn). If you live below the Equator, then celebrate May Ray Day by spending some time under the Sun before the temperatures fall.
    How to Celebrate?
    Studies have shown that time in the Sun can be good for one's physical and mental health. So, wear a hat and your sunglasses and enjoy some May Sun. Be careful, though, too much time in the Sun can be damaging to your skin. So make sure you take sunscreen with you. Did You Know…
    ...that the month of May is named after Maia, the Greek goddess? In Greek mythology, she is the eldest of the 7 Pleiades and the mother of Hermes.
       
    ***
     
     
    Brevity is next to confusion in the insurance business. When a client died, her daughter told our agency that she would cancel the home policy the following week, once her mother's belongings were removed. Simple, right?
    Here's the note that was placed in the client's file: "Deceased will call next week to cancel moving her things out."
     
    ***
     
    My husband, a deputy district attorney, was teaching an antidrug class to a group of Cub Scouts. When he asked if anyone could list the gateway drugs, one Scout had the answer: "Cigarettes, beer, and marinara."
     
    ***
     
    "You need to be careful when writing comments," our principal told the faculty. He held a report card for a Susan Crabbe. A colleague had written, "Susan is beginning to come out of her shell."
     
    ***
     
    I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake.

    "Hi!" It was my peppy mother-in-law. She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week.

    "Mom," I interrupted. "It's five in the morning."

    "Really? What are you doing up so early?"
     
     
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    May 18th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Ælfgifu of Shaftesbury Eric IX of Sweden Felix of Cantalice Pope John I Venantius of Camerino May 18 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Baltic Fleet Day (Russia) Day of Remembrance of Crimean Tatar genocide (Ukraine) Independence Day (Somaliland) (unrecognized) International Museum Day National Speech Pathologist Day (United States) Mullivaikkal Remembrance Day (Sri Lankan Tamils) Remembrance Day (Sri Lanka) Revival, Unity, and Poetry of Magtymguly Day (Turkmenistan) Teacher's Day (Syria)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Armed Forces Day
    Battle of Las Piedras
    Culture Freedom Day
    Haitian Flag Day
    I Love Reese's Day
    International Heritage Breeds Day
    National Brock Day
    National Cheese Soufflé Day
    National Learn to Swim Day
    National HIV Vaccine Awareness Day
    National Marvin Day
    National River Cleanup Day
    National Visit Your Relatives Day
    Plant a Lemon Tree Day
    Preakness Stakes
    Send an Electronic Greeting Card Day
    World AIDS Vaccine Day
    World Fiddle Day
    World Whiskey Day
    International Astronomy Day
    National Speech and Language Pathologist (SLP) Appreciation Day
     
    Teresa Giudice’s Birthday
    Tina Fey’s Birthday
    Mister Cartoon’s Birthday
    George Strait’s Birthday
    Ava Pearl’s Birthday
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sat May 18th, 2024 - Sun May 26th, 2024 National Doughnut Week  
    Fun Observances  ( 2 )
    No Dirty Dishes Day
    May 18 is No Dirty Dishes Day, a day you could celebrate by either not washing any dirty dishes or by washing all the dishes you can!

    Dirty dishes, they are part of life. A lot of time, money and energy is spent every day on washing and drying dishes and putting them away. This unofficial holiday with unknown origins encourages people to take a break from doing the dishes for the day and spend the time saved doing things for fun.
    How to Celebrate?
    Wash all your dishes so that your sink and kitchen is all clean and sparkly. Or, don't wash any and pile them up. But remember, you will have to clean them sometime soon, even if you take a break today. Or use disposable dinnerware. Just remember to make sure they are environmental friendly. Make No Dirty Dishes Day even more fun by eating all your meals out - make dirty dishes someone else's problem for this one day! Hate doing the dishes day in and day out? Use this day to draw up a schedule and a plan for cleaning dishes every time you use them. That way, you'll never be stuck with a sink full of dirty dishes! If you don't own a dishwasher, maybe today is the day to get one installed. Make sure you get an energy efficient washer and that you use environmentally friendly detergent. Did You Know…
    ...that the first iterations of dish washing machines were all hand operated?
    ~~~~~~~
    Astronomy Day
    Astronomy Day is celebrated twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall.

    In the spring, the holiday is held on the Saturday closest to the First Quarter Moon between the months of April and May, while in the fall (autumn) it occurs on a Saturday closest to the Quarter Moon between September and October.
    Created in 1973
    Astronomy Day was created in 1973 by Doug Berger, then president of the Astronomical Association of Northern California. The unofficial holiday is an attempt to raise the interest of the general public in astronomy by giving them easy access to astronomical instruments such as telescopes.
    The holiday also seeks to bridge the knowledge gap by giving the public a chance to interact with astronomers and space scientists.
    Observe the Sky
    On the day, museums, observatories, universities, and astronomy clubs around the world set up easily accessible telescopes in public spaces including schools, parks, and shopping malls to allow people to observe the skies during the day and night. Other events include lectures and conferences, educational outreach, exhibitions, and essay competitions.
    An Ancient Science
    Astronomy is the study of celestial bodies and non-Earthly phenomena. It deals with objects like the planets, stars, and asteroids as well as events such as eclipses and meteor showers.
    Studied since ancient times, the field of astronomy originated and evolved over millennia due to the need for humans to understand the history and science of the Earth and to comprehend the causes of celestial events.
    Until very recently, astronomy and astrology were seen as related fields of study. It was only in the 17th century that they separated ways. Today, astrology is seen as a field that deals with spirituality rather than science.
    How to Celebrate?
    Attend a local Astronomy Day event. Bring family and friends with you and spend some time gazing at the sky through the lenses of a telescope. Learn more about astronomy and how to study it as an amateur astronomer. You can start here. If you have children in your life, today is the perfect day to introduce them to the magic of astronomy. Who knows, they may grow up to become the next Carl Sagan or Carolyn Shoemaker! Did You Know...
    ...that we can actually see the past? Light from distant stars take a very long time to reach the Earth, so when we look at a star through a telescope we are looking at the light that left the star several hundred, thousands or even million years ago!
     
     
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    After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service.
    "That way," she said innocently, "you can kill two birds with one stone."
     
    ***
     
    After finishing his meal, my grandfather, a retired Marine captain, asked the waitress for the 15 percent discount the restaurant offered veterans.

    "Do you need to see my military ID?" he asked.

    "That's all right," she said. "I know you were in the military. I can tell by your T-shirt."

    Grandpa's shirt read "Welcome to Gettysburg National Military Park."
     
    ***
     
    Driving back from Vermont, I stopped at a vegetable stand. It was deserted except for a sleeping German shepherd. I stepped over the dog, helped myself to some corn, then opened the cashbox to pay. Taped to the inside of the lid was this note: "The dog can count."
     
    ***
     
    A devastated-looking man knocks on the door of a woman known for her charity.

    "Please, ma'am," he says when she opens up, "can you help this poor, tragic family down the block? The father just lost his job, and his wife is too ill to work. They're about to be turned out into the cold streets unless someone can pay their rent."

    "That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life!" says the woman. "May I ask who you are?"

    "Their landlord."
     
     
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    May 17th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Birthday of the Raja (Perlis) Christian feast day: Giulia Salzano Paschal Baylon William Hobart Hare (Episcopal Church (USA)) Restituta May 17 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Children's Day (Norway) Constitution Day (Nauru) Constitution Day (Norway) Feast of ‘Aẓamat (Baháʼí Faith, day shifts with March Equinox, see List of observances set by the Baháʼí calendar) Galician Literature Day or Día das Letras Galegas (Galicia) International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia Liberation Day (Democratic Republic of the Congo) Navy Day (Argentina) World Hypertension Day World Information Society Day (International)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Bike To School Day
    Endangered Species Day
    International Child Helpline Day
    International Virtual Assistants Day
    NASCAR Day
    National Bike to Work Day
    National Cherry Cobbler Day
    National Defense Transportation Day
    National Graduation Tassel Day
    National Idaho Day
    National Linda Day
    National Mushroom Hunting Day
    National Pinkfix Day
    National Walnut Day
    NF Awareness Day
    Pinot Grigio Day
    Shades Day
    Walk Safely To School Day
    Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Day
    National Work From Home Day
    World Neurofibromatosis Awareness Day
     
    Karrueche Tran’s Birthday
    LuAnn de Lesseps’s Birthday
    Elle Winter’s Birthday
    Cindy Smock’s Birthday
    Kandi Burruss’s Birthday
    Bill Paxton
    Lisa Brennan-Jobs
    Nikki Reed
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Fri May 17th, 2024 - Thu May 23rd, 2024 International Coaching Week   Fri May 17th, 2024 - Mon Jun 17th, 2024 National Smile Month   Fun Observances ( 2 )
    Pack Rat Day
    Pack Rat Day is celebrated every year on May 17. The unofficial holiday encourages people to do some late spring-cleaning and to make space for newer, more useful things in their lives.

    Have you ever noticed how easy it is to collect useless things? Get rid of things that you don't need anymore and de-clutter your house, workspace and your life on Pack Rat Day.
    Collector of Useless Objects
    Pack rat is the term used to describe a person who tends to collect objects - useful and useless - and does not easily get rid of them. While many of us can be pack rats in certain areas of our lives, being a hoarder can be a serious issue. In many people, the pack rat behavior can create major mental and physical health issues.
    Distracted Woodrats
    The term pack rat comes from the rodent of the same name. Also called woodrats, these rodents are known to be nesters. They collect anything they can find to make their nests. They are known to get distracted by shiny new things - if they see something they like, they will drop what they are currently holding to get the shiny new item for their nest!
    How to Celebrate?
    Collecting is not always a bad thing. Whether it is baseball cards, vintage chocolate wrappers or old cars, Pack Rat Day is a reminder that there is a fine line between collecting and hoarding and that sometimes it is ok to get rid of old things to make way for newer things. Here are some ways to observe this holiday:
    Take the day off to do some organizing. Throw away or donate anything you haven't used for over 6 months. If you know of someone who is a hoarder, get them some help. Hoarding can sometimes become a problem that can have a negative effect on a person's life. Read more about actual pack rats, rodents who pick up shiny objects and leave pebbles and nuts in their place. Did You Know…
    ...that fossilized pack rat middens are a rich source of information about the history of the environment in the area? Middens are debris piles created by the materials collected by the rodents and preserved by their urine. The oldest middens found were about 50,000 years old.
    ~~~~~~~
    Pizza Party Day
    Mark our words, the third Friday of May will soon become your favorite holiday of the year. Why, you ask? Because it is Pizza Party Day!

    It is an unofficial holiday that celebrates the delicious, doughy pie traditionally topped with tomato sauce, cheese, herbs, vegetables, and meat, then baked until cooked.
    People Pleasing Dish
    Thought to have originated in Italy, pizza today has become a popular dish served in restaurants and homes around the world. It is often considered by many as the perfect party dish – a single pie can feed a lot of people, it can be easily made at home or ordered from a restaurant, eating it does not require utensils or fancy dishware, and most importantly it is delicious even when consumed cold.
    How to Celebrate?
    By hosting a pizza party, of course! Order in pies from your favorite pizza place or make your own. Start off by serving bite size pizzas as appetizers. Offer a variety of pizzas next. May we suggest a selection of cheese pizza, an Indian-inspired pizza made with a naan base topped with curried chicken, and a salad pizza topped with fresh vegetables and arugula? And of course, end the meal with a dessert pizza. Why not have your guests make their own pizzas? Provide the bases and ingredients and let them unleash their creativity on their pie. Who knows, they may end up creating your new favorite pizza? Did You Know...
    …that the month of October is celebrated as National Pizza Month in the United States?
     
     
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    Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
     
    ***
     
    In honor of our armed forces, the University of South Carolina football team used the backs of players' jerseys to display a little patriotism. They placed words like Duty, Service, Courage, and Commitment where players' names would normally go.
    During the game against the University of Florida, a fight broke out, prompting the television commentator to announce, "It looked like Integrity threw the first punch."
     
    ***
     
    I opened the refrigerator at work to get my lunch. Instead of my dessert, I found this note:
    "IOU one banana cream. Sorry, it was an emergency. Sharon."
     
    ***
     
    A wife is scrambling eggs when her husband bursts into the kitchen.

    "Careful," he cries. "Careful! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Scramble them! Now! We need more butter. They're going to stick! Careful! Now scramble them again! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

    The wife turns and asks, "What is wrong with you?"

    Her husband calmly replies, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
     
     
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    sandrewn
     
  23. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1019
    May 16th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Aaron (Coptic Church) Abda and Abdjesus, and companions: Abdas of Susa Andrew Bobola Brendan the Navigator (Roman Catholic Church, Anglican Communion, Eastern Orthodox Church) Caroline Chisholm (Church of England) Gemma Galgani (Passionists Calendar) Germerius Honoratus of Amiens John of Nepomuk Margaret of Cortona Peregrine of Auxerre Simon Stock Ubald (see Saint Ubaldo Day) May 16 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Martyrs of Sudan (Episcopal Church (USA)) Mass Graves Day (Iraq) National Day, declared by Salva Kiir Mayardit (South Sudan) Teachers' Day (Malaysia)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Drawing Day
    Global Accessibility Awareness Day
    International Day of Light
    National Aperitif Day
    National BBQ Day
    National Biographer's Day
    National Coquilles Saint Jacques Day
    National Do Something Good for Your Neighbor Day
    National Honor Our LGBT Elders Day
    National Love a Tree Day
    National Mimosa Day
    National Notebook Day
    National Piercing Day
    National Sea Monkey Day
    Nickel Day
    Ride a Unicycle Day
    Supply Chain Professionals Day
    Waiters Day
    Wear Purple for Peace Day
    International Day of Living Together in Peace
    International Boys’ Day
    Horse Rescue Day
     
    Tori Spelling’s Birthday
    Megan Fox’s Birthday
    Janet Jackson’s Birthday
    IU’s Birthday
    Grayson Chrisley’s Birthday
    H. H. Holmes
    Pierce Brosnan
    Danny Trejo
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Thu May 16th, 2024 - Wed May 22nd, 2024 American Craft Beer Week British Sandwich Week National Law week    
    ***
     
     
    "Nice 2-bedroom home. The owner has noted that there are termites that have done some damage. Selling house 'as is.' Don't Wait. This Wonderful Property Will Not Last Long."
     
    ***
     
    A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest.
    It's now the drunk's turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
     
    ***
     
    At our supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop.

    Finally, she blurted out, "I don't want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!"

    The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother's dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss."
     
    ***
     
    When my insurance company refused to pay for my newborn son’s circumcision, I got a letter explaining its logic.
    Under the procedure "Circumcision" was written "Unable to locate member."
     
     
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    Manhattan Delis and the Art of Knish
     
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    sandrewn
  24. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1018
    May 15th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Aoi Matsuri (Kyoto) Army Day (Slovenia) Christian feast day: Achillius of Larissa Athanasius of Alexandria (Coptic Church) Dymphna Hallvard Vebjørnsson (Roman Catholic Church) Hesychius of Cazorla Hilary of Galeata Isidore the Laborer, celebrated with festivals in various countries, the beginning of bullfighting season in Madrid. Jean-Baptiste de La Salle (Roman Catholic Church) Peter, Andrew, Paul, and Denise (Roman Catholic Church) Reticius (Roman Catholic Church) Sophia of Rome (Roman Catholic church) May 15 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Constituent Assembly Day (Lithuania) Independence Day (Paraguay), celebrates the independence of Paraguay from Spain in 1811. Celebrations for the anniversary of the independence begin on Flag Day, May 14. International Conscientious Objectors Day International Day of Families (International) La Corsa dei Ceri begins on the eve of the feast day of Saint Ubaldo. (Gubbio) Mother's Day (Paraguay) Nakba Day (Palestinian communities) Peace Officers Memorial Day (United States) Republic Day (Lithuania) Teachers' Day (Colombia, Mexico and South Korea)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Asphalt Day
    Break The Glass Ceiling Day
    Bring Flowers To Someone Day
    Buddha Day
    HG Awareness Day
    MPS Awareness Day
    International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day
    National Employee Health and Fitness Day
    National Juice Slush Day
    National Numeracy Day UK
    National Nylon Stocking Day
    National Safety Dose Day
    National Senior Fraud Awareness Day
    National Tuberous Sclerosis Day
    Straw Hat Day
    TSC Global Awareness Day
    Turn Beauty Inside Out Day
    Vascular Birthmarks Awareness Day - 1
    VBF Day of Awareness - 2
    World Facilities Management Day
    World Product Day
    International Customer Support Day
     
    Emmitt Smith’s Birthday
    Chase Hudson’s Birthday
    Roger Ailes
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wed May 15th, 2024 - Tue May 21st, 2024 International Heritage Breeds Week National Police Week National Stationery Week   Wed May 15th, 2024 - Sat Jun 15th, 2024 Tourette Awareness Month Tourette's Syndrome Awareness Month   Fun Observances
    Chocolate Chip Day
    May 15 is Chocolate Chip Day, a day to celebrate the tiny morsels of chocolate that make any dessert even better.

    In the United States, the unofficial holiday is also known as National Chocolate Chip Day.
    An Accidental Invention
    Also sometimes called chocolate morsels, rumor has it that chocolate chips were invented by Ruth Wakefield at the Toll House Inn in Whitman, Massachusetts. According to the legend, the creation of the chips was an accident – out of chocolate powder while making cookies for guests, Ruth chopped up some chocolate and added it to the cookie dough. She found that the chocolate did not melt as she had expected, and the chocolate chip and the chocolate chip cookie was born.
    Named After the Inn
    After chocolate chip cookies became popular and successful, Nestlé made an agreement with Ruth to add her chocolate chip cookie recipe to the packaging of their chocolate bars. Nestlé's brand, Toll House Cookies, is named after Toll House Inn.
    Today, chocolate chips are a popular ingredient in a baker's pantry and they are used extensively in cookies, cakes, ice creams and a variety of other desserts.
    How to Celebrate?
    Add chocolate chips to all your meals of the day. Start your day by making chocolate chip pancakes or adding chocolate chips to your cereal. For your midday snack, whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies or chocolate chip muffins. Throw some chocolate chips in your lunch yogurt and end the day with some delicious chocolate chip ice cream. Did You Know…
    …that chocolate was once used as currency by the Aztecs? An avocado in this system was worth 3 cacao beans.
     
     
     
    ***
     
     
    My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20s, and the man she was dating left for war. "We were in love," she recalled, "and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was."

    "Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?" I asked.

    "Oh, I didn't marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman."
     
    ***
     
    To get his mind off his losing streak at the racetrack, I took my friend horseback riding. Being a novice, he freaked when his mount took off.

    "How do I stop?" he yelled.

    "Bet on it!" I hollered back.
     
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    I stole a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call. She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he ended it with an enthusiastic "I love you!"

    "I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face. I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly, "Mommy, who was that?"
     
     
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    sandrewn
  25. sandrewn

    Bread Crumbs 1017
    May 14th 2024 - Holidays and Observances
     
    (click on the day for details)
    Christian feast day: Boniface of Tarsus Engelmund of Velsen Matthias the Apostle (Roman Catholic Church, Anglican Communion) Michael Garicoïts Mo Chutu of Lismore (Roman Catholic Church) Victor and Corona May 14 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics) Earliest day on which the first day of Sanja Matsuri can fall, while May 21 is the latest; celebrated on the third weekend of May. (Sensō-ji, Tokyo) Flag Day (Paraguay) Hastings Banda's Birthday (Malawi) National Unification Day (Liberia) The first day of Izumo-taisha Shrine Grand Festival. (Izumo-taisha)  
    Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)
    Bond With Your Dog Day
    Children's Day UK
    Do Dah Day
    International Chihuahua Appreciation Day
    International Dylan Thomas Day
    National Bruce Day
    National Buttermilk Biscuit Day
    National Decency Day
    National Travel Insurance Claims Day
    National Underground America Day
    Om Day
    Online Romance Day
    Paraguay Independence Day
    Sex Differences in Health Awareness Day
    Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Day
    The Stars and Stripes Forever Day
    International PMO Day
     
    Rob Gronkowski’s Birthday
    Pokimane’s Birthday
    Miranda Cosgrove’s Birthday
    George Lucas’s Birthday
    Cate Blanchett’s Birthday
    Mark Zuckerberg
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Tue May 14th, 2024 - Sat May 25th, 2024 Be Nice to Nettles Week   Fun Observances
    Dance Like a Chicken Day
    On May 14, is Dance Like a Chicken Day. Also known as Chicken Dance Day, the goofy holiday celebrates the silly dance that is accompanied by the Chicken Song or the Chicken Dance Song.

    The song, sometimes also known as the Birdie Song, was composed in the 1950s by Swiss composer Werner Thomas. Accompanied by a series of movements, the song soon became popular in the West, especially in the United States, where it was performed at parties and weddings.
    The dance mimics the movements of a chicken and includes flapping of arms and wriggling of the body.
    How to Celebrate?
    Have a chicken dance dance-off. Get together with friends and organize a chicken dance flash mob. Just make sure you get the requisite paperwork and permissions before you do it. Did You Know…
    …that chickens were originally domesticated for the purposes of cockfighting and not for food?
     
     
    ***
     
     
    After I took a job at a small publishing house, the first books I was assigned to edit were all on the topic of dieting.

    "Isn't the market flooded with these types of books?" I asked another editor. "How do we expect to turn a profit?"

    "Don't worry," he assured me. "These books appeal to a wider audience than most."   ***
     
    An elderly man visits the doctor for a checkup. "Mr. Smith, you're in great shape," says the doctor afterward. "How do you do it?"

    "Well," says Mr. Smith, "I don't drink, I don't smoke, and the good Lord looks out for me. For weeks now, every time I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns the light on for me."

    Concerned, the doctor finds Mrs. Smith in the waiting room and tells her what her husband said.

    "I don't think that's anything to worry about," she says. "And on the bright side, it does explain who's been peeing in the fridge."
     
    ***
     
    My 45-year-old sister was attending the wedding of a childhood friend when she ran into people she hadn't seen in years. How long exactly?
    One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!"
     
    ***
     
    Mother's Day is nigh, so we're loath to say this: Mothers aren't perfect. Here they admit it:

    "My son knows he's not allowed downstairs until 9 a.m. Reason? He's been told that between 8 and 9 a.m., Mommy's fighting the monster that lives in the laundry basket."

    "I just ate a full pint of Häagen-Dazs, and when my three-year-old asked me what I was eating, I told her it was special medicine for mommies, because I didn't want to share."

    "My son was so excited for his second birthday, but when the day rolled around, I hadn't pulled anything together—so I told him that he had the day wrong and his birthday was actually the following week."

    "I haven't taught my kids to tell time yet … That way, I can say it's bedtime whenever I want."
     
     
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    The western pygmy possum is the cutest Australian animal
     
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