pzetts3

Gary my friend, I have missed you and your words. Sorry I was away so long but I feel like this was the story I was supposed to read after so long away. I love all your stories but I have such a soft spot for the ones with bits of magic or fate in them. And who doesn't love a sweet hockey man that has had his growth spurt lol!! Maybe there will be a story of Andrew finding the right fit too eventually. Twenty-six is young and ultimately he has already done four other people besides himself a favor by being honest when it was the hardest.

Some days I wish there was more than just a "Like this" button. You know I'll go back and review the other chapters eventually. But I couldn't not say just how much I loved that and how glad I am to know Fendral is going to at least heal some now. He has a grandson. A piece of his wife and daughter to try for. Brilliant Gary!

Can I get an Amen brother!

That was perfectly sweet and realistic enough to ring true Gary. There is always such emotion when you write. I am personally thrilled to see the course of this story. After some stories or some chapters I kind of feel like I should thank you for letting me read them!

My good Sir, you most certainly do all of those things. Such imagery in just than poem and such freedom and travel to the world I want to live in when I allow myself you enter your worlds you open up for me. You may never know the peace and balm your writings are to my soul. And if I feel that way I doubt I am alone. Thanks for creating a safe place to escape to my friend.

I wonder sometimes which is the rut and which is the normal - the tiredness or the respite. I think life is good and life is hard. Life is easy and unbearable too. I tire of me too but I never tire of you!

But I don’t want to be soothed I’d rather let the pain thrive ...Gary those words are hard for so many to understand. But to some they speak louder than the rest of the poem.

I can't effectively review this my dear. I can barely see to type. What I can say is you have definitely made us all feel how a grown up deals with pain. And for me personally this resonates because not everyone understands how some of us can appear just fine on the outside and they can't even imagine the strength it takes to deal with what is brewing and swirling around on the inside. I wish there was a way any of us that love you could take away some of that pain, but I know first had it doesn't work that way. I am so grateful though that you have this, the writing, to get some of it out and on to paper. We all need a way to purge even a small portion of that type of pain.

Vowels to me are like numbers to a nerd. How perfect Gary! I love it. You are indeed meant to write. And you are good at it.

Beautiful and terrible Gary. Seems we can forgive everyone anything except ourselves. We are always stuck in the pain of our actions or our inactions; our decisions or indecision. We forget we are only as human as the next person.

Gary, I know you may be the only one that will get this, but I was in tears reading that. I swear sometimes you feel my pain too. That was awful and beautiful at the same time.

That's lovely Gary! I think a lot of us wonder whats left during the times we struggle. But I think we all have plenty to live yet!

Such beautiful words and moving sentiment. Just keep telling yourself, one day there will be more of us (the ones that use the extra room in ourselves for love and not hate) than there will be of them. Until then, just know there is more to that family that loves you and accepts you than you realize.

Gary, With very few words you manage to clearly capture places and thoughts that many of us visit often in our minds and lives as well. Thanks,Pam

Rex, this has got to be at least my third reading of this story. I adore these two! What a great combination steamy chemistry and sweet love.

Rex I love your stories. This was a tense chapter with a helluva lot going on to digest all at once. The round the robber got off at the end had me worried sick it was going to have reached Clayton when that's who Ryan was so determinedly trying to protect. Thanks for just making it a bad loose shot! Whew! Poor brave, level headed Barry. I feel so awful for Dave now sick over the love of his life, but I applaud you for a clever way to deal with Benoit and that whole sticky ugly situation. But Ryan is the star of the chapter (well along with our little sparkplug Joe!). I could almost feel his determination to not let Clayton be taken. Missing legs be damned, none of that mattered when he was faced with a situation where his love and his friends could be harmed. I just hope that after this he realizes how perfect he is the way he is - new legs soon or not. I also hope that Clayton doesn't spend another damn minute debating whether to share his secret with Ryan. I am really rooting for these two but they still seem rather reserved in sharing each other fully with the other even though they recognize they are in love. Good job Rex!

Damn I love Michael - and his one track mind! So good to see him and Kendall enjoying life, family, and each other so easily now. I would caution them not to think this father thing is so easy, even together and as in synch as they are it won't be easy. But they will be good at it. Nate and Bodie are the sweetest little innocent lovers ever right now. I'm glad they have some great couples to show them the way. Not just Michael and Kendall, although no doubt they are the most important right now because of the vunerability and difficulty of being young and gay and needing to not only be accepted but see a shining example of a happy committed gay couple. But with each set of parents and such amazing grandparents as well there is no doubt these boys already understand what good healthy love and marriage looks like. Life is never as easy as we think it will be and no doubt they are so young that their love and relationship and friendship will be tested many times to come (maybe even some we will get to witness through you)so it is a good thing they are paying close attention to the details of how to do it right going on all around them. Trust, honesty, support, and arguable as important as the love, a sense of humor are all going to help them to succeed in their forever if they dig in and put those lessons to good use.

It was indeed a nice chapter Gary. I'm glad it was Jared who thought of Ronnie and I am glad the two have figured out that talking things out is what will keep them together. I hate to even go there when you know I don't think I have ever given any form of negative feedback to one of your stories. That's important to remember because you can take this to heart or chalk it up to a bad day on my part. No one is perfect after all. All that to say, why oh why did you cheat us out of one of your hot as hell yet openly emotional love scenes especially when it was when Jared's first time as bottom? That's it. That is my one complaint to date and it is largely a selfish complaint and not a literary one. What you did reference was still lovely and I couldn't be happier that Jared is happy! Well, you know Craig too - but really Jared who am I kidding.

Damn, our little Craig is a spitfire, right! He said last chapter when Jared asked if he was always so demanding that he had no idea but he was going to learn (I loved that line by the way)and Jared indicated that was just fine by him. I guess Craig wasn't kidding. Take your shoes off and put them on that mat. We could eat later but we are not because you are going to eat and then take me to mom's. Go Craig go. Of course he was polite afterwards with an if that is okay, but what really gets me is that Jared wouldn't care if he was polite or not really. Well maybe he cares, but I think he knew what he was getting into all along. You don't love someone that long, even from afar and not notice their personality. I think that Jared actually likes that character trait in Craig - goes hand in hand with why he was frustrated he had to spell out to Craig that he really wanted his honest input on the reno job upfront and with the customer there, because the Craig that Jared loves isn't afraid to take charge or speak his mind. I know that Jared is gaining back his professional confidence but he is also pushing Craig to open up to his old self as well. Grief can do a number on us but then so can love, which is what I am seeing with this chapter. As for Carly, well I vote she still gets a visit from Santa but that's just me. Your other readers seem to be happy for her to move on and prove herself. I don't think selfish people can change but so much, but I am happy that she is making an effort to move on even if I am selfish in that I am happy about it for Jared's sake. I'm solidly in the "hope she changes but never really trust her again camp." I also laughed out loud at the review that said that Tim might just be her soulmate...I mean I know they meant it nicely but you have to have a soul to have a mate.

"He lived to make this man happy" and "Nothing is better than this" say so much in this chapter. This was absolutely one of my favorite love scenes Gary. As always I loved the way you can convey their emotional and physical connection but with the focus on how making love to Kendall felt to Michael, this was something at least as special as the first time - maybe even more because of the rest of the chapter. Everything about it is why I (maybe we) love Michael so damn much. Cooking for Kendall, everyone knows that is an act of love especially when it doesn't come natural. Feeling the depth of Michael's love for Kendall through your writing. I mean how deep is the love when he was terrified of upsetting or worse disappointing Kendall with a puppy because of an offhand comment (and one likely meant to throw Michael off from what Kendall had done)but never once did it occur to Michael to be upset or disappointed in Kendall for doing the same thing. That's love in a nutshell Gary, when you are worried about how your actions are going to be received or affect the other person but are perfectly resolved to accept their actions with little to no qualms whatsoever. I feel this chapter is the absolute perfect compliment to the heart wrentching first chapter where we were sucked in so completely by the depth of Kendall's love for Michael when he put his cards on the table and both their despair at thinking their relationship was ending. In this chapter we get a solid reflection into the depth of Michael's love for Kendall. I mean the story of the Easter lily literally had me in tears. Right after the tender love scene to hear of how long Michael had "lived to make this man happy" even when he didn't realize what he was doing was too much. Lily and Rose might be names and certainly are memories yes, but they are also symbols of what a great writer you are and how you can dig into a character and make us fall and stay in love with him. Damn man, at this point Michael could commit murder and no one could convince me he didn't do it to protect Kendall in some way. Thanks for the balm, although I think this chapter was more like a healing touch.

I read your poem and liked it a lot. Of course upon reading my glasses I forgot. So I want to say thanks for your poem on your cottage. Although I have to say, a better name might have been dottage. Seems more like reflections on aging and life's heavy load, rather than a rhyming poem about your abode. Love you Gary.

It was a tough chapter but on the positive side, I was relieved that Clayton meeting with Ben didn't result in a misunderstanding in the newly formed and growing relationship between he and Ryan. So glad to see Ryan and he becoming stronger together even though the mess with Ben is there. Not sure Ben's character is fully understood at this point because I'm not sure how he got in so damn deep and then thought it was okay to unload on a former lover but demand he not call the police to help him. I mean really, what's the average architect going to be able to do to help you out without police intervention and even though I feel for what he is going through he has to know just venting to Clayton and making him worry over him is pretty selfish. Luck for him Dave has the resources to help and I am sure that he will - at this point my main worry is still the same. I hope Ben doesn't come between Ryan and Clayton somehow.

So Craig finally shows he isn't always the rock himself and there are a few cracks in his armor as well. Maybe not the bullet holes that are in Jared's armor but still some cracks. I think it is apropos that we see some of both of their insecurities. I don't think they are demons as some have suggested but insecurity and fear. In some cases where people need constant reassurance in a relationship it is caused by jealousy or a controlling nature - a personality issue that is usually to be avoided in my opinion. But in the case of our boys we need to remember that their insecurities and fear of losing the other is not borne of personality flaws or a desire to control or monitor the other but from a real place of not wanting history to repeat itself. They were ripped from each other just as their love was developing by someone they both trusted and shouldn't have, then they were continuously kept apart and from finding each other by both choices and manipulations. That's not something that you just forget and deal with in a few days even if the devil that dealt the blow has been vanquished. I think realizing their love and grabbing on to it with both hands was much easier to deal with in a few days then getting over the fear that they will somehow lose it again will be for a while. Sometimes people are paranoid for no reason and it is annoying. These boys, er men, are working themselves through paranoia and fears that are based on history and some terrible mistakes. Had these two not been kept apart they may not have what they have now - attaining what you thought you could never have is knowledge added to the love that enhances and clarifies the rare gift that love is but it also creates fear. I'm glad to see that Jared isn't alone in his fears. I am also glad they both have the other to help them work through those fears. Anyone that lost someone they love to an accident would be fearful of it happening again so I get that it wasn't about Harlan, but about not being able to even fathom losing Jared now that he Great job Gary.

Gary, the way you write is so perfect. I can feel the calm when one lover settles the other down. I can feel the connection when they just look at each other. When things get tough and emotional or volitile I tear up so easily when reading your stories. And the love/sex scenes I can........well let's just say everyone of them is successful my man, very successful. Even better than the physical responses those scenes evoke in your readers, is the love and connection we can feel in the lovers. It is mesmerizing. I did it again with this chapter. Fell in love just a little more with Jared (you know I want to find you a pic but I am afraid I won't be able to do him justice). The way he shares his feelings and opens himself up to Craig, the teasing, the taking charge in the bedroom. Damn that man is damn near perfect.

I think I love Jared a little more each time you post. Surely Craig should realize by now if he suggested painting the whole damn house chartuse Jared would agree. Thankfully, he wouldn't do that but I still doubt that Jared is going to buck the decorating of his love anytime soon. That whoop and yelling in the restaurant was perfect! Almost as perfect as Jared's consistent honest expression of his feelings to Craig. I hope they don't have many more trials or tribulations to test them, they deserve some happiness. And Carly deserves nothing more than what she is about to get, which is a huge dose of how absolutely fucking happy Craig makes Jared when all she could do was make him miserable even after getting him to marry her. I'm not all about the drama as you know, but I am all about her getting put right in her fucking place real quick and made to know that the glaring and the threats are like water off a ducks back now that the boys know her true motivations. How appropriate that the bitch that gets off on being the center of attention and feels like she never gets enough is about to learn how it feels to fade into the background in the face of true love. Get her Gary!