RichEisbrouch
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Writers make mistakes, especially when writing quickly. Students make mistakes, even when writing slowly. Students writing quickly often make lots of mistakes, and they get unintentionally funny. Here are some of them. In Germany, it appears there's a whole cult that collects these. In America, we largely have the popular British book Eats Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. This collection follows both of those. A friendly caution: A little of these goes a long way, so don't try to read them all at once. They get less funny. Very less funny. Far less funny. Oh so less funny. You were warned.
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Adolf Hitler did many paintings in his early days. He said that painting was one of the reasons why he could stay focused at any point in his work. I love Bohemian Laphdody. According to an old adagio, economy should serve culture. The professor destroyed the mirth by making 3 appointments. Only the large feather itself cannot reveal everything. This statement is full of rife. They were once one country, just like Russia and the Soviet Union. The main reason for the h
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A couple of young guys in the present try to figure out a mysterious legend from the past. Meanwhile, some years earlier, a young, Native American wife is being admired by a young warrior from another family, temporarily stranded because of an injury. And there are bears.
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Sure thing. Thanks, to both of you -- and to everyone else who read along. The book was great fun to write and accidentally timely, considering recent news. But I can't say more, since that would give away part of the plot.
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33. He shined it everywhere. And kept shining it. Hitting a wall. Hitting the floor. Hitting the ceiling. Finally, I turned my flashlight on him and shielded the beam so I could see his face. He was beginning to smile. "I'll give you this," he said quietly. "There are no bones. Not. A. Goddam. One." And his smile got a little bigger. And I think he was starting to believe me. He started back towards the stream. Still shining his beam around the cave. Always searching. "You ca
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33. We slept for a couple of hours, at least I did, but I probably had less on my mind. Cory sat down and leaned against a wall, and I stretched on the ground, after moving a dozen-or-so rocks. "You're gonna regret that position," I warned. "Then let me put my head in your lap," he joked. "Not sure I trust your head there," I joked right back. Neither of us were making much sense, but we were tired. I woke around 5 and checked my watch without waking him. Then I went back to
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32. Of course, the boy didn't leave. Not right away. There was no way he could do that until he knew all the women and children were safe. The girl brought the warriors back to the cave much sooner than he expected. He thought he'd have to watch the village from a distance, but instead he watched the entrance to the new cave. And soon he saw the older boys and girls in the forest, and then the women and children and babies. And no one was crying or mourning. There seemed only relief. Whe
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St. Molly With guest appearances by Rocky, her boon friend, and Fluffy, her mentor commentary by her walker We had a game. I’d say, “Molly come.” And she wouldn’t come. I’d say, “Molly come.” And she wouldn’t come. I’d say, “Molly, don’t come.” And she’d just look at me. And I’d say, “Good Molly.” St. Molly is now running with St. Fluff – and breathing easy. Fluff was, maybe, just a bit more polite. “She taught me to say, “Get the duck. Get the duck. Get the duck.” And when
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Our dog Molly, with guest appearances by Rocky, her boon companion, and Fluffy, her mentor.
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31. We slowly moved forward. It's a lot easier to explore in hiking boots and dry clothes than in wet suits and booties, but at least we were warm. I would have liked dry hair and more batteries, but one flashlight would do. Cory and I walked side-by-side, while I scanned my beam around the cave. "Will we have trouble finding our way back?" he asked after a while. "If we don't go any further than we can with this light, we can use yours to get back." "We can't get lost?" "We
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Hope you continue to like it. Looks like you've been reading along. Thanks.
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Thanks. It was fun to write this book, too. Glad you're enjoying it.
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30. Well, you explore the wilderness area of a national forest in the middle of the night, eventually you run into bears. "Are you all right?" I asked Cory. "A little scared. I wasn't sure whether to worry about you first or me." "So you came after me." "I also went away from the bears." I laughed. At least, he was honest. "We could be in worse shape," I told him. "We can breathe. You didn't get stuck. And I don't think the bears'll come after us." "You're sure? If I
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29. The women came, with the children and the older boys. The boy growled that he was the spirit of the water. The spirit of the rock. The spirit of the cave. The spirit of their ancestors. He growled that the way out of the cave was through the water. Into the water. Under the water. Through another cave. He could tell the small children were scared and he remembered hearing stories of spirits. They were scary stories. But the boy had never really seen a spirit, and probably neither had any
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28. Once it was light, the boy saw more warriors than usual at the entrance to the hidden cave, and he thought something had changed. But he soon realized nothing was different, and after not too long, most of the men went back to the village. The boy had planned to go to the other side of the hill and continue searching there. But he used this chance to look at the hillside again and to try and remember the caves there. Many of them were too close to the hidden cave for him to have expl
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I warned you about the bears a long time ago. That's actually my favorite chapter ending in the book. And thanks.
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27. "How much air do we have?" I asked. "Plenty for what we need... And I'm not letting you out of my reach." "What if I want to be? To see how far I can go?" "Come out first, and we'll talk." I put on my mask again, put the breathing piece in my mouth, held the tank a little below me, and eased into the hole. Then I came right out. "What?" Cory asked. "I need to attach the tank to something. I need both hands free." "Why?" "'Cause I need to pull myself along
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26. Once Cory got into the stream, he was able to feel how big the hole in the rock was. "I can't really see it, even with you holding the light. The shadows keep getting in the way." I held the light differently, but the beam just made different shadows. "It doesn't matter," he told me. "I can figure it out with my hands. I've done this blind, in muddy water." "Sounds like great fun." "If you really need to know, we were in a lake, trying to find a body. We were helping the
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25. After he woke, the boy went back to the entrance of the hidden cave. Again, he hoped to see the women and children, but he saw only men. He looked at the hillside where the cave entrance was and tried to think about where the cave might be. He remembered going down the long tunnel, but he wasn't really sure how long it was. And when he was crawling in the dark, he sometimes didn't know if he was going up or down. The tunnel had turns and drops. It suddenly seemed to twist or get wider. H
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24. In fact, there was, and it had to do with what Cory had told me earlier. The first time we were in this cave, we found the side passage and the stream. But we were so interested in those, we hadn't noticed another opening. As Cory had suggested, it was slightly above us, halfway up a wall - above both our eye levels. We'd still been looking down. "Do you think you can get up there?" he asked, when we spotted the dark opening. "If I give you a lift?" "Sure," I said. Though I didn'
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23. After lunch, we started looking for caves with water. "There's just one thing," I had to tell Cory first. "What?" "Some of the caves that have water also have animals in them. That's where they like to live... for the obvious reason." "So they don't have to go far to piss?" I just looked at him. "To drink," he corrected himself. I nodded. "Bears like the convenience... and so do mountain lions. So the closer we get to water, the more dangerous it gets." "That'
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22. Although the boy knew he shouldn't be thinking about the girl, he still thought about her. He knew that even if the warriors got all the women and children out of the cave, the first person the girl would go to would be her husband and that she'd only hate the boy more. That didn't bother him. Because he knew he was the one who'd gotten everyone trapped. Still, he thought about her as he began to search the caves. He knew what he was looking for, a cave with a stream. He was sure the
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21. It seemed optimistic, but we did. Lots of streams. Or maybe we found one stream with lots of branches. Lots of little branches. We started with the streams near the cave and worked out from there. I didn't use a map though I'd brought a handful of them to reassure Cory. There are places in the park - in the national forest - where you can walk for several hours without seeing water, and people are warned to keep their bottles full. But we weren't in those areas. If I'd taken one of m
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20. In the morning, we packed up and crawled out of the cave. The light was good to see. The sun was good to feel. And Cory almost instantly had his shirt off. "I really need a shower," he said. "I'll go for that." "And some food, and some coffee, and then we can look at the maps." "I don't really need a map," I reminded him. "You know what we're looking for?" I nodded. "Yeah... streams." "Ones that're close by." We still weren't far from the cave. "Even i
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19. So after the first bears, the boy found another cave. And he went deeper into this cave than before. The more he explored, the more he felt able to. And the more he realized there were more caves than there were bears. The bears never went into some caves. They couldn't, or wouldn't. Maybe they were also afraid of mountain lions or snakes. Or maybe they'd already found a home. In the same way, when the boy found a cave that seemed safest to him, he stayed in it and slept as far into
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