Jump to content

gor mu

Author
  • Posts

    150
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by gor mu

  1. gor mu

    X. The sword

    Tistan holds the advantage here, as they're both playing on his field (figuratively and literally!) They'll both have to bend eventually, though. Thanks for commeting, as always!
  2. gor mu

    X. The sword

    X The sword “We have to be quick,” Tistan Dresaceri murmured in an agitated huff, like a doomed man’s prayer to an impious god. By now, Aaru was nearly certain the young lord was only talking to himself. He was never closer than two steps in front of Aaru, leading the way through the winding galleries of the manse with an unforgiving pace. I’m going to need your help with something. Tistan had barely waited for Aaru’s confused nod of approval before taking off in a sprint, urging
  3. With luck you won't have to wait much to see what happens next, hah. As always, thanks for commenting!
  4. IX The abeyant prince Sweat dripped down Tistan’s back as he moved with hurried steps down the ample hallways that led to his mother’s chambers. He huffed audibly as the sting in calves and the heaving pain in his chest all reminded him of his poor physical state. Behind him, Coreio appeared to be unbothered as she kept his pace, her armor making all sorts of clinking and stretching noises as she moved. He wondered how it was that she kept her composure inside her heavy armor, though b
  5. gor mu

    VIII. The warrior

    And thank you for commenting!
  6. gor mu

    VIII. The warrior

    Thank you for such a thorough comment! You've touched two aspects that I worry a lot about when writing. I love describing things in a very detailed way, and sometimes I will have to cut entire paragraphs of descriptions because it just feels excessive, so I'm glad the final cut doesn't feel overcharged with useless details. As for Tistan and Aaru's relationship, I have indeed tried to make it feel natural and not forced, though sometimes I fear it'll be too slow, haha. Again, thank you for the review!
  7. VIII The warrior The familiar voice never stopped ringing in Aaru’s head, always calling for him. Sometimes it called for a brother, and other times it called him by his name. He was too tired to answer, and so he ignored it, even as the calls grew louder and pestered him relentlessly. This time, though, the voice called a different name, and Aaru couldn’t ignore it anymore. “Nirkaa.” He gathered the strength to answer. “That’s not my name.” He wasn’t sure if he’d actually s
  8. Thank you! Tistan's dream is somewhat prophetic, or rather it gives indication of what will come in the next chapters. Stay tuned!
  9. Thank you so much! Thank you! Dialogues are always tricky to write, especially when you're trying to keep things interesting.
  10. VII The gentle heir “Purpurine,” the physician, Berisso, assured nonchalantly; “without a doubt”. His venous hand left Aaru’s forehead as he returned his attention to Tistan. “It’s in its early stages, so the characteristic rash is yet to surge. But it’ll develop soon.” “Purpurine” Tistan repeated to himself, eyeing the unconscious man who lay on his bed. Aaru’s bare, sweat-soaked chest rose and fell in violent motions, as if breathing was the hardest task in the world. The
  11. Oda a un Príncipe Vitáceo Susurran los árboles en su lengua sagrada, de aquel quien nació del polvo espacial; en el vientre de Andrómeda aquel se gestara, su serenísima alteza de la estirpe astral. Por virtud de los cuerpos celestes, empujado a través de la áurea cavidad, nace el príncipe de las mil dignas huestes, hijo del tiempo y la intrínseca eternidad. Adornado de madreperla, oro y marfil, camina los jardines prohibidos de Io; se postran los dioses ante el fin
  12. gor mu

    Basualdo

    Four a.m. Two lone figures, hopelessly trying to hide behind a skinny, leafless tree, in a quiet, suburban street, painted like a bland stroke in the middle of the urban sea I call home. It was near his place (too near), the cozy two-story house where he lived with his parents. I'd been hoping that's where we went, but I suppose the cold, hard pavement of the sidewalk was a more appropriate place for what went down. Is it too much to say there's a war being waged insid
  13. gor mu

    VI. The river's son

    Thank you! I'm glad it was enjoyable! The story starts off pretty slow, so it's fun to write the first couple of action scenes, even if they are short and few in between.
  14. gor mu

    Jericó

    Thank you so much!
  15. gor mu

    Jericó

    I remember the taste of cheap vodka and beer in his breath, and the way his lips felt against mine when they first collided, wet, warm, sloppy. Disgustingly so. Endearingly so. I remember the way his teeth hit mine in a drunken stupor, (he had braces) and how his tongue invaded my mouth without warning, like a wave crashing into the shore. I remember the way people looked at us, estranged, amused, confused; some cheered as he held my hip in place with his hand, most said n
  16. gor mu

    Meridion

    Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a poet. This is a dump for the products of that pretension.
  17. gor mu

    VI. The river's son

    Thank you!
  18. gor mu

    VI. The river's son

    Thank you! And yes, I did create Aaru's language pretty much from scratch, as well as Tistan's langauge (of which we see little, but it's still there, mostly in names of places and people).
  19. gor mu

    Chapter 4

    It can easily be both, I think. In any case, there's no need for you to worry. Both Arno and Sygny are thoroughly believable characters, it's one of the reasons the story is so enjoyable, really.
  20. gor mu

    Chapter 4

    I'm really enjoying this story so far. I can't get over the image of a buff being all jittery before a date, haha. I can't wait to see how their relationship develops!
  21. VI The river's son He felt the even movement of his mare under him as she strutted slowly down the steppe, moving in an endless sea of tall grass. The wind was rising, and strong currents pushed against them, but his ride was dead-set on going forward. In the distance, two peaks stood against the sky, with a fiery sun rising behind them. He could hear the familiar song of the river behind him. The neigh of his nameless mare came loudest, and suddenly she was gone, and he was walking. H
  22. Thank you!
  23. You'll find out soon enough
  24. I definitely agree!
  25. Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I'm overcharging the story with lore, but I'm glad to know people like it.
×
×
  • Create New...