So far so good. I sent you a few PM's over Lulu about some grammatical mistakes and such.
I'm only about 70% through the book, but I'll post my own review here when I'm done.
I also noticed a few things that don't quite make sense.
** SPOILER WARNING **
For example: the planet Rikard, Galadriel, Cornelius, and Alvin (and Lady Tagria *wink wink*) are trapped on...it's mentioned that there are no stars visible in the sky. But when they escape the planet, they manage to jump into "normal" space. The way I understand space travel is that stars (and thus constellations) are used as reference points when you're in an unknown area of space. So if they didn't have any stars or constellations to use as references and they did not know where they were in the universe, how did they manage to jump away and back into normal space? Also, I thought blind jumps were in essence suicidal since you wouldn't know if you'd end up inside a sun or a planet or some other thing in space?
Feel free to correct me if I made a mistake somewhere as I've confused different series of books with each other before.