Ross Davidson

I admire the Headmaster's use of pupil against pupil, like a chess master pitting Knight against Bishops. And when he comes up against an unplayable opponent, who has memorised all the openings, he changes the game to include the third dimension ... Max comes across like a Queen who has reached the eight rank, suddenly turned into a pawn, and is looking around himself in utter confusion. It will do him a world of good. I'd never thought of chess pieces having feelings for each other. I must think to see where this takes me. And them ...

A great start. So very many ideas to follow as they develop. And, credible and simpatico characters. This story has legs ...

My word, your character had to go through he'll before this story started. But, I do like this idea, and I'm keen to see what happens next. After all those bad things, Kevin deserves some fun .....

Good to have a more gentle, happy chapter - even with that hospital visit. One problem I have with long conversations, though, is losing track of "who said what"; for me, it helps to have the occasional name put in, otherwise I literally have to count back to be sure I have the speakers the right way round. My problem, I agree; and these chats do move the action (and atmosphere) along well.

An effective knitting together of the threads. Thanks for the violence warning, I've seen the results of enough, not to want to read about any of it. The backstory here is very well thought out, though. The pressures on Ant are a good balance and develop him as a personality, dealing with his own problems. After ch 5 I was thinking about abandoning this story but, despite the further violence, I'm glad I persevered. I'm looking forward to the band getting back on stage.

Sorry to sound pathetic but this chapter made me very unhappy My problem, I know I live in Europe where this level of hatred and violence would have been pretty well unthinkable, and I'm grieving for the character, although ofc part of me realises it's just a story, and there has to be tension between characters to make the story interesting. But, fgs, violence resulting in orchidectomy? That's mediaeval ... and, I think , too much