Josh Aterovis

"Who? Who died?" Panic closed in around me, squeezing all the air from my chest. Some part of me already knew the answer, but I needed to hear it. "I don't know, man. Who cares? Fuck that shit." "No, wait!" I grabbed the guy by the arm. He could have easily shaken me off — he towered over me — but instead he just looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "It might be my friend. Are you sure he was dead? What did he look like? What was he wearing?" He pulled his arm away. "I only go

So many good questions. How many will I answer? Tune in next week, same gay time, same gay website. (Next chapter actually drops Tuesday...)

Here's hoping!

Seriously!

😂 Way to find the silver lining in this chapter! 📸

You'll learn more about Joey—and Will's evolving view of him—as the rest of the story develops...

Fun fact: I live in Baltimore so I have run into John many, many times. He's extremely kind. I've even been to his house twice for work-related reasons, and once he gave me and my coworker a personal tour of his entire home, which is filled floor to ceiling in every room with books. He is very beloved here.

I hatched a plan over the next several days that I was sure would either exorcise Joey from my life forever or let me know conclusively if there was any hope for our friendship. My plan would go into effect that Friday night. According to Aidan, Joey had become a party animal, and there was never any shortage of parties on a Friday night in a college town. All I had to do was find the one he was at and get him alone. Easy, huh? I would have to wing it from there since I had no clue how

Also very true. After all, DEI is evil. But this is set in Maryland, and Maryland is a relatively safe state as far as laws go, and, as yet, has not caved to the fascist in chief.

That's a really good point! I missed that when I was rewriting this.

I'm so sorry to hear that! That sounds awful.

Yeah, I definitely took some liberties with his injuries. Although, there is precedent for people falling from even higher heights and walking away, they are few and far between (and strangely enough, often highly inebriated...something about if you brace for the impact, your injuries are likely to be worse than if you just...flop like a rag doll). I like to imagine Will landed on a nice soft grassy patch. 🤣

Oh, they do so love to pick and choose what they enforce, don't they?!

Ahh! Thank you! He seems like more of a puppy to me, but either way he was very lucky... I don't think it's tasteless. I think a lot of people develop dark humor (and humour too!) in difficult circumstances. EMTs, police and other first responders are notorious for this. And a lot of people I know surviving the US's current slide into fascism have also adopted this coping mechanism. I was trying to inject some levity into what has been several dark chapters in a row. Glad you enjoyed it! I think that snarky sense of humor is more a trait of Killian's, but Will holds his own. (He's just been in a really bad mood for most of this book so far...)

It's so interesting to me to read your perspective, @Geron Kees, especially as someone who has read (and greatly enjoyed) your writing. I think our mindsets and worldview inevitably show through in our stories really clearly, even more so from where I was writing from when I first wrote this book (and even, to a slightly lesser degree, Bleeding Hearts). There's an underlying darkness to a lot of my books, but definitely more so these first two. I'm currently working on the next book in the series, and I've noticed it's markedly less dark in tone (while still being plenty dark, story wise). Your stories are always so positive and filled with light, even when things are at their worse. It's almost like we're two sides of a coin. (And for the record, I suspect Charlie and Kip would get along with Killian better than Will, but they'd love Aidan. LOL)

@Summerabbacat Not at all! As a writer, I find it endlessly interesting to read/hear other people's perspectives. I know how I navigate the world, and I think it makes me a better writer to know how other people experience it as well. And there's nothing a writer likes more than to see people so invested in the characters they've had living in their heads for so long! LOL

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep I've always been sensitive to repetitive noises. They annoy me in a way that few things do. The first thing I remember thinking as I was slowly dragged back to consciousness (very much against my will) is how much I wanted that damn beeping to stop. Beep Beep Beep It wasn't even all that loud. In fact, it was rather soft. But it was incessant. Insistent. Grating against my nerves and disturbing my sleep. Beep Beep

Whew! Some great conversation here, @Geron Kees @Summerabbacat @Al Norris @drsawzall and @RichardWrites! I feel like I should apologize for the trauma... You're all making excellent points, and it's always fascinating to hear different perspectives. As someone who has struggled with depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation for much of my life (though thankfully, not in recent years, and I never hurled myself off a fire escape), I obviously empathize deeply with Will. I think it's also important to remember that Will is an emotionally unwell 18-year-old with a strict, distant father who formed an unhealthy hero-worship crush on his best friend, and Aidan is only a year older. They're both kids trying to be grown-ups and making big, life-altering mistakes. Emotions and problems seem so much bigger at that age, or at least they did for me and seem to be for people I still know in that age range. Obviously, everyone is different. And I promise, this is rock bottom...er, for now, anyway. 😁

Thank you! I feel like out of all my books, this one will change the most from its original published version (if for no other reason than it's the one I've touched the least over the years and I've definitely changed in the last 20+ years...), so I'm eager to hear your thoughts as it progresses.

I laughed out loud at pure gay panic! The next chapter will drop on Thursday so hopefully the cliffhanger isn't too painful. 😝

Thank you @Summerabbacat! Let's hope this is Will's rock bottom and things start to turn around soon.

I awoke suddenly with the acrid smell of smoke still in my nostrils. I pushed myself into a sitting position and felt a sticky wetness on my hands. I looked down to see they were covered in blood. Whose? Mine? A knife lay on my pillow, glinting in the semi-darkness. I looked for Aidan, but he wasn't next to me in the bed. I was alone. Suddenly, fire was all around my bed, jumping and leaping closer and closer like a living thing. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. The flames

Thank you! 💜

Thank you, @Al Norris!

Thank you!