Agincourt

I'm up the chapter 3 on "Enigma," but it's only Monday. A

We're now reading "Enigma," right? A

Since we're not supposed to talk about anything beyond Chapter 5 here, I won't -- but maybe after a week or so it would be OK to comment on the rest of the story. I found it engrossing, and I'm glad Ehman Penn wrote the continuation. A

The Nifty version does come to a coherent end, so hopefully it's a "proper" version. Of course, although it ended, we were left with a lot of questions about what would become of the key characters from then on, but at least the main crisis in the latter part of the story was resolved.

This Nifty version actually comes out to 23 chapters. As I recall, in chapter 22 he says he thought it would end at chapter 22 but discovered that one more was needed. http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/matthew-figures-it-out/ Since we were supposed to be reading it this past week, I hope that was the right version to read. I was unsuccessful in tracking down a working e-mail address, and the author's former web site seems to be gone. A

Since today is the appointed day to begin discussing the next assigned story, Matthew Figures it Out, I thought I'd go ahead and start up a topic for it. There will be spoilers for chapters 1 through 5 below. I have read the entire story (22 chapters) and will try NOT to spill any beans about later chapters. This truly is a coming-of-age story in the classic sense. Young Matthew Jordan, aged 14, has just moved with his parents to rural North Carolina from Sausalito, California, a chi-chi suburb of San Francisco. We only get bits and pieces about Matt's earlier life in the Bay Area. What becomes clear as he shows up for his first day of school in North Carolina is that he is not happy that his dad got transferred there by the bank he works for. (The story, which seems to parallel the real-life Bank of America, is that his dad's bank was bought out by a North Carolina bank, and that's why his dad got transferred.) The first kid he meets is Chris Briggs, who turns out to be the son of one of the highly feared sports coaches, Mr. Briggs. Matt and Chris hit it off. Matt also comes to meet another classmate named Tommy Johnson, who is kind of a loner but turns out to have an incredible depth once you get to know him. It seems as though these two friends represent two more friends than Matt had back in Sausalito. Moreover, in chapter 5 we learn (from a conversation between Matt and his mother) that it wasn't the bank that forced his dad to transfer to North Carolina -- it was the parents' decision to move there because they thought it would be beneficial for Matt. Every indication is that they were correct, as Matt seems to be finding connections with other kids that he apparently did not or could not make back in California. It seems as though Matt was a veryunhappy young man previously. Chris, who is handsome, athletic, and a real charmer, befriends Matt and promises to teach him enough basketball to make the school team. In the course of this, it becomes clear that Chris and Matt are developing serious feelings for each other. However, Chris has a girlfriend, Katie, to whom Chris is loyal because of her loyalty to him following an event two years earlier. Matt learns from Tommy that Chris beat another kid, Jay Henson, within an inch of his life, and was later institutionalized for a time. Tommy is concerned that Matt could get hurt if Chris loses it again. Matt can't believe the Chris he knows would be capable of such a thing, leading to a blow-up with Tommy. But when Matt goes over to Chris's house and has his first basketball lesson, and later they talk together, it's clear that Matt and Chris are developing something: This is characteristic of the Matt we meet, who seems astonishingly insightful and self-reflective for a 14-year-old. But even though he often speaks as though he's many years older, it somehow fits with the overall flow of the story. It isn't long before Matt learns that Chris, his idol, his ideal picture of a happy and successful kid, lives in a home from hell. His mother is obviously an alcoholic, and his dad is a spiteful, mean-spirited jerk who abuses Chris relentlessly. Matt is very conflicted when he gets home. Adding a bit of comic relief, his dad -- home unusually early, and therefore present at the dinner table -- leaps to the conclusion that Matt's mood swings are because he has found a girlfriend. Matt is so rattled that he passes out. If his parents only knew. Meanwhile, his other friend Tommy invites Matt to go camping on the night when other kids (including Chris) will be going to the Homecoming dance at school. This reveals an entirely new and (to Matt) unexpected side of Tommy, who obviously also has great affection for Matt, and also gives Matt an experience of the outdoors that he has never had and never appreciated. More comic relief is provided as Matt periodically flashes back to scenes from "Deliverance" (although any reader that had not seen the movie might miss the connections). What seems to be happening with Matt is that Chris is shaping up to be the older brother he never had, while Tommy (though the same age) is like the younger brother he never had. Matt goes back over to Chris's house for another afternoon basketball lesson. Chris asks whether they could just talk instead, and leads him out into the woods for some privacy. They come upon an old shack, one that Tommy had pointed out during the earlier camping trip. A sudden downpour forces them to take shelter inside. Matt watches Chris go through a somewhat unnerving transformation: We're not sure what will happen next. It doesn't take long to find out: And there Chapter 5 ends. Needless to say, I kept reading. The e-mail address for this story's author, which dates back to 2002-2003, no longer works. I have not looked on the Nifty author page to see if he has posted anything newer with a more current address. I liked this story a lot. Despite the sometimes romance-novel quality to the descriptions of feelings and emotions, they nonetheless rang true. The angst-o-meter stayed within bounds, although I have to say that actual story events later on became fairly perilous. For those it wasn't a matter of angst; it was a matter of actual bad shit happening. Whoever recommended this story, I'm pleased that you did so. A

I actually read all of Matthew, which is in something like 22 chapters. It's a great story, very emotional in places. Now my problem is that I have to go back and figure out what I can't talk about because it hadn't yet happened as of chapter 5. A

I hope someone else plans to post something. A

I'm really liking "Matthew Figures It Out." I'm already in the 5th chapter and can't seem to put it down. A

I had another truly bizarre thought -- what if the Davey of 2004 really did (seemingly) come back after 20 minutes, while (unknown to mad scientist) leaving a doppelganger Davey behind who will continue to live and grow up with the 2004 Davey's knowledge? I can't even get my head around the logic (or illogic) of it. A

The next story is hosted at Nifty in the High School section: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/matthew-figures-it-out/ A

Very interesting and imaginative premise -- far more nuanced than the stereotypical "time travel story." Of course everything beyond this point is a spoiler for the first 5 chapters. Duh. We find a fairly undistinguished and "ordinary" guy thrust into an incredibly unusual circumstance . . . the classic adventure premise. The thing is, he treated it as a lark. 20 minutes away from his rather drab and uninspired world. No more of a commitment than stopping by Jiffy Lube for an oil change. Of course he needed no preparation for it. After all, 20 minutes -- what's the big deal? Imagine the hero's surprise to discover the twenty minutes stretching into days and weeks. For all we can tell (so far as the first five chapters are concerned), and as young Davey himself concludes, he has been sent back permanently to re-live his life starting at age 12 in the 7th grade. What might he have done differently to prepare himself for this journey if he had known in advance? And would he have agreed to do it? The moment when he started telling his young friends the truth about himself came rather abruptly, but I think the story probably benefited from this in an overall pacing sense. It is very interesting to see Davey taking a number of "better" paths the second time through. Instead of being kind of a shy, lonesome nerd who stays on the sidelines, he finds himself at the center of the jock in-crowd, hanging out with guys who will enrich him and help him grow even as he offers his talents and insights to help them. Chapter 5 leaves off at a fairly crucial moment when Davey's relationship with Brian, which had looked like something serious, was scraping the ground due to Brian's issues with drinking and perceived unfaithfulness. Also, every indication is that Brian's gay uncle is going to turn out to be a victim of AIDS, although no one of that time will really understand that. I have not read any further but I can't help thinking about possible story lines. There has already been mention of how Davey's knowledge has helped his grandmother make better investment decisions, etc. I have to believe that various people, even Davey himself, will stake more and more on his ability to predict the future because he knows what it is. And then, one day, something that he knows for certain will happen a certain way ... won't. Davey will be completely flummoxed. History as he knows it will suddenly be less certain, because in subtle little ways -- he'll start noticing more of them -- it's changing. And he will start to try to figure out how the little changes he has been making in his life could have influenced these other events. No doubt he will be surprised when he starts to see the connections. In any case, it's a very interesting speculation on what would happen if a person was unexpectedly given the chance to live over a critical period of their earlier life. So far, it seems like Davey has made some fine choices, especially in trying to protect his sister Jenny from molestation from their father. I also foresee that he will experience much frustration at the things that he cannot change, even knowing what is going to happen. From a purely romantic standpoint, I do hope he and Brian find a way to reconcile. A

I thought the description of Richard's treatment by the Mord Sith woman in Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind went way past any story needs into just gratuitous violence and agony -- it became obvious that Goodkind had a morbid fascination with torture. Back in college, I took a course called "Modern Novel." The professor made an interesting comment: "If you're reading something and it's not working for you, just put it down and forget it." So if I hit something that goes too far for my mood or my tastes, I exercise my absolute right as a reader to become a non-reader. Of course I would expect all, or at least most, writers to defend their choices of what to include and how to depict the events in their stories. The lingering question would be, How much of it is genuinely part of the story, and how much of it is self-indulgence or public therapy? A

Well, I'm pleased to say that I finished the first 5 chapters and will be ready to say something tomorrow. I wasn't sure about the story at first, but it gained my interest by the time I hit chapter 2. I continue to be flabbergasted by the imaginations and the talent of the people who contribute here. A

I think the idea is to start reading each story on the first date shown, then post commentary on the second date, which also happens to be the date to begin reading the next story. So I have started Dan's story. A

Actually the link is embedded in this post -- you just have to click on it -- but here it is: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/bisexual/highschool/masquerade/ And what I just noticed is that the whole story has five chapters, which is convenient. A

I think you must be one of the last living users of WebTV. A

I'm scrupulous about time, and it can be mildly annoying to me when an author carelessly screws up the sequence of events -- making me think he was lazy. In other words, I feel that a quick look back to the earlier part of the story would have told the author that the current day is Tuesday so the next day can't be Saturday. But I try not to let that spoil the overall effect of the story. In my own writing, I have to work hard not to be too scrupulous, trying to document every minute that passes, no matter how mundane. I have had to learn to do jumps and summaries in order to move things along. For me this tends to be something to focus on in revision; for the first draft, I usually find it's better just to get everything on the page and then worry about tightening later. A

Without offering any spoilers, I can say -- since i have read the entire story -- that some of your questions are answered, and some remain unanswered. The story itself meanders into a variety of other areas that don't follow linearly from the initial setup. But most interesting is a twist involving the Machine itself, about which I will say no more. The only thing that would make the whole situation scarier, in my view, would be if the government officials (prosecutors, judges, etc.) who were deciding to send people to the Machine were themselves already bonded to it. One could then imagine kind of a self-reinforcing feedback loop, with the Machine essentially directing these officials who to send. The circumcision business didn't overly bother me, but I was circumcised at birth and never knew anything different. I rarely run into uncircumcised guys, but enjoy them when I do. All in all, I guess the penile ring seems less intrusive than the bigass holes in the backs of people's heads in The Matrix. Strangely, thought, the creepiness factor in The Matrix seemed lower than in this story -- probably because the characters in The Matrix weren't voluntarily doing that stuff to themselves. In other words, all the humans in The Matrix had already been equipped with the electrical connections; they weren't deciding to send certain people to have it done. But when you think about how the computer in The Matrix could create such totally real worlds for the characters to be in, imagine the kind of sex the Machine could invent. It starts to make me think of Tek Wars, where an entire population becomes hopelessly addicted to a game that entrances them but prevents them from doing anything useful because they're so busy being entertained. A

I was thinking maybe we should declare that "Light Reaches Earth" was the assigned story for this past week, and anyone who hasn't already posted on that thread (started by Graeme) should do so now. Meanwhile, the question is what to do in the coming week. I posted several suggestions in the "I was thinking ..." thread, and so did other people. One key question: What sort of story should be chosen? Something with Significance (with a capital "S"), something lighthearted or humorous, or some other category? A

I have never been as attracted to the blond-haired, blue-eyed types -- although I love blue eyes. I'm more into medium to dark hair color. Perhaps that fact that my own hair is brown influences this -- it's what I'm used to and comfortable with. The young man in this is just achingly cute and adorable. And he has brown hair and brown eyes. So it is in the eye of the beholder, I would say. As a side note, I really don't care for the look of guys who have bleached their hair blond. I'd rather see the natural color. A

I find my biggest challenges are (a) creating contrast among the various characters, and ( maintaining and even heightening that contrast as the story progresses. Otherwise, there is great danger that all the characters will tend to converge into a single character. I often draw elements from my own life, but the way I do that varies. For example, in my in-progress story "The Study," my main character (a 15-year-old) is extremely neat -- his bedroom at home is organized and tidy, which garners much comment from his more typically slovenly teenage friends. I purposely chose this to contrast with myself -- my personal spaces tend to be piled with stuff and generally look like a bomb went off. I may give a character great self-confidence in a situation where I personally would not be so confident, just to explore what it would be like. I have found it immensely helpful to jot down some notes about the principal characters very early on in the writing process, and to update those notes as writing progresses. James Frey advocates having the principal characters tell their history with detail in an autobiographical piece that will never be seen by anyone other than the writer. Elizabeth Lyon, in Manuscript Makeover, has proposed an extremely detailed catalog of character attributes that the writer can use to flesh people out: Physical Appearance : Gender Age Height Weight Body build Body hair Race Skin color Skin texture Hair body and style Hair texture and color Smell of hair Head size and shape Facial hair Eye shape and color Shape of brow Shape and fullness of lips Teeth size and color Personal grooming Handshake Hands Nails Body smell Added scents Carriage and posture Activity level (lethergic to manic, focused to attention deficit) Deformities Hereditary physical attributes Scars Overall health Habitual stances and gestures Voice quality -- volume and timbre and pitch (soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass) Quality of laugh Head-to-toe clothing (style, functionality, quality) Accessories (jewelry, bags, satchels, gloves, scarves, hats) Emotional/Intellectual Disposition : Attitudes (strongly held opinions, beliefs, values, viewpoints, judgments, mindsets, biases, prejudices, superstitions, pet peeves, preferences) Passions (desires, keen interests, needs, yearnings, obsessions) Emotions hidden or obvious -- Most dominant emotion (sad, mad, glad, inscrutable) and how it is shown or expressed -- Sense of humor and expression of it (jokes, puns, silly humor, slapstick, wry, sarcastic, dirty, whoesome, raunchy, perverse, flirtatious, irreverent, political, racial, sexist) -- Temperament (introvert to extrovert) -- Operating mode (logical thinker to intuitive hunch taker; sensate/empirically based to feeling/emotionally based) -- Intellectual type (scholarly/abstract, experiential/concrete, quick, slow, bright, dull, methodical, multitasking) -- Dominant perception (tactile, visual, auditory) -- Orientation to life (cynic, pessimist, realist, optimist, idealist) -- Hard-wiring (compulsive/thorough, phobic/fearful, vacillating mood/sensitive, impulsive/risk-taking, neuroses/distortions, psychoses/without basis in reality) Results of the above : Moral codes and behavior Political and religious beliefs Personal and lifestyle habits and choices Leisure-time preferences Job choices Favorite channels and programs on radio and TV Games and frequented sites on the internet Selections of magazines, newspapers, books Obviously, not every one of these items will be significant or meaningful for every character, and not every character will warrant this kind of depth and detail. But it opens up a lot of possibilities to at least think about these things, especially when seeking to make the various characters stand out from one another and not blend into minor variations on the same theme. A

What a sweet story. The ending brought a tear to my eye. A

I think it depends on the story and on the time period the story is set in. Also, some stories are so clearly fantasy that the issue of protection would seem fairly absurd in the overall context. Interestingly, Bill W's massive Castaway Hotel confronts this issue pretty much head-on, although he's a little inconsistent with it. At one point, one of the teenagers (high school age) living with the protagonist/father figure (Josh) goes off to Brazil as an exchange student. This teenager already has a reputation of trying to get into the pants of every boy he encounters. In the story, Josh cautions him strongly to use protection. Of course, he gets careless, and on his return, at Josh's insistence, he is tested for STDs. Bingo -- he has genital warts AND chlamydia. In the story, this young character learns some significant lessons from this development that cause him to change his outlook on things. In other stories, the unreality of everything else that's happening makes me think that introducing the idea of condoms would seem bizarre. In countless stories, for example, people who are pretty much complete beginners have anal sex without lube, or supposedly only with precum or spit as lube. This certainly defies my experience. I can relax pretty well nowadays, but lube is still pretty much essential. Someone with little or no anal experience is unlikely to be able to relax that much, and having anal sex without lube would be virtually impossible (and quite uncomfortable). But then it's no more fantastic than the occasional reference to a guy f*cking another guy in missionary position, and then supposedly bending down and taking the f*ckee's cock in his mouth at the same time. Unless it's a Cirque du Soleil contortionist on top, this is physically impossible, but it sounds very sexy in the story. The point is, since (defying all experience) the characters aren't using lube, we're already in the land of fantasy, and introducing condoms while NOT using lube would seem extremely weird. I wouldn't have any objection to weaving in the use of condoms in a story, or to making some kind of story issue out of not using them. A

I've read the entire story, but I'll try to confine this discussion to the first five chapters. Title of the Story I've been pondering the fit between the title, "Against the Machine," and the actual events in the story. Somehow, from the title, I expected to find characters who somehow managed to rebel against the Machine and either end its hegemony or greatly alter its role in this fictional society. Yet nothing like that occurred -- the Machine seems to be here to stay. Indeed, part of what makes it all so insidious is that the Machine's programming is self-reinforcing, conditioning the subjects to accept its control and to think thoughts consistent with the Machine's continued influence. And of course the compulsion to keep hooking up to the machine assures that this conditioning can continue for each subject, while the overall control achieved by the Machine assures that the political/judicial establishment will continue to use it, and undoubtedly expand its influence over time. Thus, it almost seems like the title should have been more along the lines of "With the Machine." Forced Submission to Surgical Alteration I would expect that, in actual practice, the submission of convicted prisoners to the surgical alterations necessary to allow the Machine to function, and to the Machine's conditioning itself, would not be directly coerced, as the story suggests -- rather, the society would create some kind of fig leaf whereby the people would "choose" to submit to the Machine. This would so-called "choice" would undoubtedly be the product of what amounted to an offer they could not refuse -- that is, an alternative punishment or treatment would be offered that would seem far worse -- such that only a few crazies would "choose" that alternative, instead "agreeing" to submit to the Machine treatment. Use of Sexual Release -- Orgasm -- As A Tool of Entry I realized in reading about how the Machine used a form of cum denial torture as a way to get people to submit by desperately seeking orgasm -- and the lowering of barriers while orgasm occurred -- that it reminded me of Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series (now seen on television as The Seeker). In SoT, Kahlan, a Confessor, possesses an extraordinarily powerful mental ability that she can unleash on victims to make them hopelessly devoted to her. What happens then is that they must tell the truth (that's why she's called a Confessor). However, the victim of her powerful charm is essentially rendered useless as a person after that. Kahlan falls in love with Richard, and vice versa, but she resists becoming involved with him because -- as readers finally figure out from the euphemistic way it is described -- if she were ever to reach orgasm with Richard, her ability to keep her Confessor's power in check would be momentarily nullified, and Richard would become a blubbering idiot. So it's the same exact idea: At the height of orgasm, a person's mental resistance momentarily disappears. The Machine exploits this to make its insidious connections. Machine Sex versus Human Sex Perhaps one of the most disquieting aspects of this fictional world is the total disablement of the ability of each "patient" to achieve sexual release on his own or with a human partner. It's not clear whether this is a requirement of the technology or, as seems more likely to me, a deliberate and insidious choice to deprive people of something and further reinforce their enslavement to the Machine. In other words, it's not enough for the Machine to compete on its own merits, for quality of orgasm; the Machine rigs the game so that the victim has no choice because it ain't available anywhere else. And it's only icing on the cake that the Machine gives absolutely mindblowing electronic head, seemingly better than anything a mere human can provide. (Or at least maybe the Machine's conditioning convinces each subject that that's the case.) The idea of a sophisticated electronic orgasm-producer seems intensely erotic to me, in principle. I have often wished I knew someone with an ErosTek ET-312 (e-stim machine) who would be willing to hook me up and see if I could achieve hands-free orgasm with it. In the fictional world of the Machine, it seems as though there must be two-way communication between the subject's pleasure centers and the Machine's stimulus programming, such that the Machine can interactively determine precisely which neurons to stimulate at every moment to give maximum pleasure. And the Machine seems able to keep the subject poised on the edge of cumming for extended lengths of time, which of course also seems very erotic to me. Yet the creepiness of what has been implemented here is inescapable. The very thought of having nano-robots weave artificial neurons into my spinal cord and brain just makes me cringe. It conjures up all sorts of images from horror films. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable. All of a sudden, therefore, any erotic aspect goes right out the window. The Attendant (Care-Giver) This character is a complete cipher. In many parts of the story, he seems to have almost no affect -- he's kind of a zombie, with not much of a life. His studied efficiency in facilitating the incredible outrage committed on these "patients" is rather chilling. Yet Nathan manages to break through this haze of conditioning, at least a bit, at the end of Chapter 4. But it's clear that the Machine has a powerful hold on the Attendant. Somehow I had anticipated that the Attendant would become a genuine agent of change with respect to the whole Machine concept, but he seems dedicated to maintaining his role in the status quo. Expanding the Treatment to Children One example of the depravity of this fictional society is the increasing proclivity of the courts to assign fairly young children to this treatment. The Attendant, in his rather detached and affect-less way, nonetheless is bothered by this when it is happening to the boy Noah who was sentenced to this treatment pretty much unfairly and arbitrarily, and is about to experience the excruciatingly painful Synaptic Remodelling: Later in the story it becomes obvious that zealous prosecutors seem to take relish in extending Machine treatment to younger and younger (and relatively innocent) victims. There seems to be no effective counterweight to the tendency of the societal forces to push more and more people into this treatment. Overall It's a scary vision -- using people's own strong sexual urges to force open vulnerabilities and ultimately rape them mentally -- removing all self-control and dignity. Scary. A