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Kibalessthan3

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Blog Entries posted by Kibalessthan3

  1. Kibalessthan3
    Yes, i've been gone for a long time.
     
    Yes, i never really posted on my blog before.
     
    Yes, i was a bitchy little teenager.
     
    Yeah, i got my just desserts.
     
    Most of you probably don't know me, but for the benefit of those who do, i'm not going to go in to who exactly i am and why i'm on this website right now. It's a long tedious story filled with regret and triggers that i don't want to deal with that at the moment.
     
    So, where to start? I really don't know: let's start off with where i am right now. I have a job. I'm sort of dating someone. I have a car. I have a place to stay, though i wouldn't call it a home.
     
    I have had a really bad week.
     
    Sure, mostly first world problems but my life is a series of interconnected dominos that all topple at once and affect everything else, and i'm not good at dealing with that, and that's all i'm gonna say about it.
     
    I have had a really bad year.
     
    Things are always going well until they aren't. Of course. I may post more in the forums about it but i'm still not sure what to say.
     
    I need some order in my life, to help get me back on track. Which is why i'm typing this right now. I never had a good support system. The closest thing i found when i was a kid was this website and the incredible people who put up with my drama. So here i am again trying to find something worthwile within a messed up world.
     
    But mostly to vent in a silly little blog post noone will read.
     
    So hi, I'm Matt, and i'm a mess.
  2. Kibalessthan3
    Shakespeare really did write the best insults.
     
    Anyways, not a ridiculously eventful week, besides my lack of cash and some nasty people in my life. Watching alot of television, going on spur of the moment dates, and getting trapped in the rain.
     
    Been reading alot of astrology lately. Some philosophy here and there, and classic theatre. Shakespeare. King Lear in particular. Some Hamlet, but i've been through that so many times it barely counts.
     
    So last year, i was in a... i hesitate to call it a relationship, but arguably it was my first major relationship in a couple years. Long story. To summarize, he was a liar and a cheater (big suprise, huh?) but the thing about it being that the man he cheated on me with (the one i know about) works at the business where i work. I have to see him every now and then. And of course theres the fact that i found out FROM him, after a hookup. And of course we never talked again. We trade awkward glances every now and then, but he's never said a word to me outside of generalities.
     
    I loathe to be reminded of him, and the sense of dread i get whenever i walk into the local walmart is only amplified by the fact that i can't put this damn relationship behind me. It follows me to work, home, and i can't even go shopping.
     
    "Methinks thou art a general offence, and every man should beat thee. I think thou wast created for men to breathe themselves upon you."
    I really have talent for writing depressing posts, don't I?
     
    On the bright side, my boyfriend/lover/date/undefined has his prom next weekend, and i'm going.
     
    Always end on a high note.
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