Nicholas J. Covington

Hmmm, My Ideal of Boyfriend Material. Well, Physical Features are the least important facter when I choose a partner. How ever there are several Factors that i would consider a turn on if they are present. I love boys that have Blue or Green eyes and dark or brown hair. I like a boy who is in good shape and even lightly muscular and smooth. (Even thou i'll admit I have a few pounds to lose myself). Hell If they look like Zac Efron ... lol. But Really I look at Physical Features as being Superficial, What i wan't in a boyfriend is a Partner, some one who can tell by looking at me when I come home that I've had a bad day and is there by my side to make me feel better. Someone who knows me well enouph that they know just what im feeling and thinking. someone that is careing and Kind and has a good sence of humor. they have to love a good sappy movie and even be willing to cry a little at the sad parts. some one to hold at nite. someone who just makes my life a little better cause there there by my side. Because they love me and i have there support. If I could find that I could face anything life had to through at me and still be happy.

Well, Good News I Guess:)? were at least talking again, It's Kind of awkward however It's like we're walking on egg shells with one another and it's even uncomfortable we're clearly avoiding things and it is like there is an elephant in the room. Will this ever get better. Will I ever have my old friend back like we were? I'm grateful he is at least still speaking to me again but I miss the way we were. Still Confused,

Emphasis MineHow quickly do you really expect me to Grieve and move on from a 18 year long friendship. For 18 years we were insperable. Forgive me if this has been a difficult time for me.

It's been weeks now and I have yet to hear from Drew other than a tense couple minutes on the phone twice spent on akward small talk. Any attempt to talk about things and he would have something come up and have to go and then he avoids me. I don't know what to do and am sitting heart broken over what may just be a lost relationship I dont know how to fix this. It is the loneliness that hurts the most. We have done eveything together for years. now i don't know where to turn. I want my Best Friend back.

I'm at a loss. It's been a week since i have spoken to Drew. We usally talk everyday and hangout several times a week. Now I'm getting scared It's not like him to miss my calls. We have been best friends since 4th grade everone said we're unseprable and we have only ever went with out talking once before and that lasted 3 days before one of us gave in. I don't know what to do I'm in love with my best friend and even if i can't have him. I don't want to lose him. I've never felt so confused. I don't even know why he is not answering my calls, I went by his place last night but he wasn't home. This is killing me. I Mean we slept together , sure and I may have used the "L" word there at the end at the critical juncture I think, And everything has felt a little awkward. It just this time I don't have my best friend to confide in. And im lost with out him. I just don't know what to do. I can't lose him.

I have always had feelings for my best friend, Andrew (Drew). We are very close, I know what you are all thinking Classic gay boy love a striat boy. Right? But it's not that simple. You see, Drew is Bi, (I know no such thing right? I used to think that) He call's himself a true Bi because as he says he can and has fallen in love with both sexes it not just about sex. So how did I screw up you might ask? well I'll tell you, Drew Recently broke up with his girlfriend of about a year, and we have been hanging out alot more since. The other night we wen't out clubbing and we endded up back in my bed. And yes we had sex. The thing is while he had sex I'm starting to think I was making love, to make matters worse he is now trying to reconsile with his girlfriend he claims to love. she is not interested and I have to listen to him talk about all this while my insides are ripping apart. It's been so awkward around him faking smiles and being there for him, I don't want the to loose him but at the same time I just want to scream I'm right here why can't you see me... Why can't you love me as much as I do you. I just don't know what to do. Anyway thanks for listening.

I Have to say as sad as it was, it was a great move, "Mary's" Speech at the end in the counsel meeting was trully moving. I wish More people would remember "that Children are listening." I Also wan't to commend Lifetime and some other networks for taking on our Issues, or really just real "Human Issues" that effects everyone. With Prayers for bobby, The Matthew Sheappard Story. And I have also noticed a Increase of Gay Awareness Ads Like the one with wanda sikes Sending the message not to say "Thats Gay" The more these stories are told the more we can reach those who don't understand but are on the fence as none of us are going to reach those truly Convicted to their belives. It is sad to say that for some it take tragic events in there own lives to make them re-evaluate there convictions.