acht-acht

THat´s so sweet.

Dear Bee, don´t give up yet. And I bet you´re not a selfish heartless bitch. It might be just more difficult for you to empathize, other people´s emotions are probably like a foreign language to you sometimes, because of your ASD - like with everybody else liking hugs while you don´t. You´ll learn to read people better, and you´ll learn to express yourself more easily. We all hurt people with our shit sometimes btw, it just happens by accident, even to the most benign characters. It´s life. We just say sorry and try to make amends or make the one we hurt better again ... there´s no other way.

Joe, my dear - what is it? I think you have been coping so well with all kinds of crap that life has thrown your way recently. Maybe it was all a bit much. I know this feeling when nothing seems right ... Hugs, and hugs to you too, KC. I haven´t lost anybody I saw everyday and spent a lot of time with yet ... so I can´t really imagine how alone you feel now. Hug, hug hug. Clara

Dishonest Jim apparently sold Weebl (or Bob ? ) a "Mongolian Snail Race" playset that wasn´t the proper/ original Mongolian Snail Race set as seen on TV/the internet or whatever but a cheap knock-off ... even though Bob (or Weebl?) told Weebl (or Bob?) explicitly NOT to buy from Dishonest Jim - who can´t be trusted. Apparently. Okay, now you all know I´ve been watching Weebl and Bob on YouTube all afternoon instead of working.

Hi Mark. My life is so much better now I know: Must watch Weebl & Bob. Must not trust Dishonest Jim!

"He’s really not good for me.” Okay, I was warming up to the story, but now this beats all. Do you think those stark raving mad psychos could start making any kind of sense in the near future? I have a hard time imaginig what could justify this kind of behavior an wether I will be able to muster any sympathy for the protagonists any more.

I think I need to find out who Weeble and Bob are. Mark, you´re supposed to come here for sympathy, and to vent, at least that´s how I understand this thread! I know it can be hard for people who live with someone who´s depressed or dealing with a traumatic experience in real life, that they sometimes don´t want to hear any more about it, that´s just human. But that´s why we come here, right, because it´s a safe environment and we don´t haveto fear that we´re just getting on people´s nerves. And you´re over things when you´re over things - or not. I mull over the same things in my head I´ve been mulling over since I was 12, and I haven´t even been abused, I´m just neurotic and miserable sometimes. Have a good night everybody. Where´s Joe btw? What´s happening in your life?

Hi Marky - glad things are good and busy for you. I was curious and looked up the breed of pigs you raise ... they are cuuuute! And I bet they make tasty bacon (I know, I´m cruel ...) Busy too, with renovations, moving, legal crap ... Hugs!

Oh Marky, I was afraid it might be something like that. Don´t let this drive you back into your shell, stay with us, we like you here!! And you looked pretty on the new picture. But I can understand that exposure like this can be a shock. Please try to forgive Barry, because he disdn´t mean to harm you. And come back to us whenever you´re ready. Hugs hugs hugs

Good for you, Lily! Angry words or a nice screaming match can be good things. I´m working up to having one or the other with my boyfriend soon - we´re not happy atm! And I´m definitely experiencing a crisis of confidence right now. But strangely, I still got a lot of work (good) done today, after only 3 hours of sleep the night before. Go figure. What happened, Marky? I hope the blow to your confidence isn´t the reason for your new pic ... that you´re hiding behind a landscape becaus you want to be INVISIBLE now - I got used to seeing your face around here.

Comic, when I read about your BD I couldn´t help but think: If this guy´s such hot property, such a catch, such a PRINCE that he feels entitled to be insanely rude to people who don´t meet his advanced standards - what´s he doing on a blind date? What, people are not queueing up to go out with this wonderful person? I can´t imagine why ... Anyways, we could always be younger, thinner, fitter, wittier or richer or whatever ... what we don´t need are people to point out our shortcomings to us all the time. I know I´ve been too overweight for quite some time and my boyfriend wasn´t too happy about it, just like me, but he knew it would be no use to bug me about it all the time. I started losing weight when I was ready to go about it properly, I just have to wait till the moment feels right to me. Just like when I stopped smoking. I had tried to stop smoking at least 10 times before, tried to "discipline" myself, to be "strong", and it never worked. Then I just thought, fuck this, one day I´ll be ready and I´ll just stop. Which is what happened. One night, before I went to sleep, I had a last smoke and thought: tomorrow´s the day. And the next day I just didn´t light up again. I had a pack of smokes on my nightstand for another two weeks and just didn´t touch them. After a week I asked my boyfriend: Did you notice something´s different about me? And he: No, what? LOL. Because I wasn´t all crabby and miserable like when I had tried to stop smoking before. He stopped smoking too after he saw I could do it. But - we have to make changes because it feels right to US, not to please other people. You´re on the right way. And it doesn´t matter when you fall off the wagon. Who doesn´t stumble? You´ll get up again.

Hi Sweetums! Excercise is good. I´ll soon be able to go "running" again, if you wanna call it that ... I couldn´t for two years because I was too fat and trying to run or jog totally killed my feet (I have the bone structure made for a skinny person, which I´ve been for most of my life). I´ve lost 20 lbs or so in the last 3 months, and want to loose like 10 more before I go running again. Till then I´ll rather go swimming. It´s perfect for me - when I took up regular swimming again I went and got myself a more swimming-friendly haircut, that motivated me proper!! I really enjoyed swimming when the weather outside was NASTY BITCHY COLD I was alone in the pool with one or two other guys usually. I also try and go everywhere by bike, which is easy because I live in a city that´s not too big. Since I´m mostly off my meds I stopped sweating as profusely as I did during the medicated years, which makes "soft" excercise easier - meaning I can go by bike when I´m meeting people without arriving a sweaty disgusting mess. Go, sporty me!

Hi All - me again. Actually, I don´t feel so hot right now. My sweetheart´s brother died very suddenly two weeks ago. He´s only two years older than him, and his heart gave out one evening - he was sitting in front of the tv with his mother, and had a heart attack. That was it. We got the call late in the evening. Thank god my brother was there and he could drive us there, otherwise we couldn´t have been there before the next day, and we didn´t want to leave my boyfriends mother all alone during the night. When we got there, we found we didn´t even wear socks (´we´d been ready to go to bed). They both cried and cried, and my boyfriend had the most horrible nightmares that night and the next ... They didn´t even get along so well, they were so different, but still, he was his brother ... we´ve been hardly sleeping for almost two weeks, we´re both just so tired, because there´s so much to organize ... but thre first two days were the worst, because there was nothing we could do, just sit there and wait, we couldn´t even organize the funeral, because the police kept his brothers body for some time (unclear cause of death, can you believe it). We were afraid his mother would totally loose it because it was such a shock for her, she started acting like she had dementia, told the guy at the funeral home that her son had played soccer all his life (but that was her husband, he died years ago) - scary. Wanted us to move in and do everything for her because she was unfit to live on her own because she forgets things ... It wasn´t only the grief, it was also that she was used to living with a "man of the house" her whole life. After a few day s my boyfriend started to get pissed and told her to get a grip - that she wasn´t a little girl but a grown woman and not in the least bit senile, and it worked. She started doing things without asking him or me first, started answering the phone herself - even started not answering the phone when she didn´t feel like it. We´re back at home now and just phone her every day. Going back next monday. There was a funeral service already, but now we´re burying the urn, just the three of us. We´re not sick with grief any more, we´re making our jokes and everything, but things are off. Not the best time to be without my meds, but so far I´m doing okay ... it´s just that my nerves are kind of thrummimg constantly, I can´t really describe it. I always have to remind myself to breathe properly, you know. Well, but we´re all gonna be good, I think. Just a bit much atm.

Hi all! LOL, Marky - nothing wrong with take-away when you´re a healthy young hardworking lad. I love fish and chips and salt n vinegar crisps and sticky pink little cakes, that used to be all I ate when in the UK ... I love all kinds of take-away food indian chinese japanese ... crazy sweets ... or good old fashioned home cooking ... or health food, everything really - when I travelled Europe during summer vacations as a kid I was always drooling over the strange and interesting foodstuffs I saw and couldn´t afford - I was mostly travelling on a bread-and-cheese-budget. Love your arts-and-crafts efforts. I wish I could make beautiful wooden sex toys! Although I have the most beautiful, sleek, futuristic, insanely expensive white latex vibrator that never disappoints, something hand-crafted and -polished would probably look more dignified on my nightstand!

Hi Roan! I´m damn glad I haven´t been to that bad curl-up-and-die place in a long time. There are bad spells where I can´t do much more than go through the motions, but at least I remember what the motions are. What I always hated when I went into a slump was not only that I made everybody around me miserable, I also felt that it stole so much time from me. It took big chunks out of my life. And the "oh no, not again" looks ... I know my sweetheart feels real lonely when I´m depressed ... there´s really nothing he can do for me, except pick up all my slack, all my work, and worry. At least we always find ways to talk. What I LOVE is coming out of a depression and suddenly feeling myself again ... there´s nothing like it!! Just to breathe makes me happy in such a moment.