Angst:Tale of a Troubled Life - 1. Chapter 1 : Deceit

“Git of e,” I screamed into my pillow which muffled my yells of “get off me”. Concentrating I lifted my head and barked “GET OFF OF ME”. My attacker froze and we both listen for any signs that my parents heard us. No yelling, no coming down the stairs, and laughter from my father at the tv. Family Guy his only vice. Taking a second to breathe I threw myself up off the bed and turned on him.

“Sorry” he half mouths, half whispers before leaning in to kiss me “I just love the way you laugh”.

I pause at the word love *he never says love to me, he can’t love me*, “yeah well, you know I hate being tickled”, turning my back on him. We lay cuddled on my bed for a minute probably watching the same Family Guy as my father, before he grabs me and turns me on my back. He climbs on top of me and we start to make out. His lips trailing my jaw before returning to my lips, so soft, his breathe sweet and cool. 5…10…15…20 minutes, I know it sounds like a vacuum hose on wet skin but neither of us care. He starts to slide his hands up my shirt, I stop him.

“No”, I say breathlessly “I’ve got a boyfriend, remember Kris, were just friends we can only be friends”. He sits back, I can see the lust, longing and anger in his eyes.

“Fuck Kris, you like me more, you know you do!” He hisses. Sad thing is I don’t know if I can disagree with him. I love Kris I have for a while now, Kris says for him it was the first day we met:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I was sitting at a coffee shop connected to a Borders reading “How to come out to your Parents” listening to my iPod. I was sixteen at the time beginning my junior year of high school so it was early September

“Hey you gay?” says a voice. I cut my eyes at the guy. Kinda cute kinda hot, 6 foot, cropped spiked jet black hair, narrow nose, piercings in his ears and one in his right eyebrow, green eyes focused on my book cover. Eyes MY only vice. He looks familiar. “Dude hear me?” he ask, apparently not understanding my look, I take out my ear buds.

“So what if I am?” I respond, he shrugs. Great a conversation with a bigot, with a lower than average bigot IQ.

“How do you know if your gay”, he questions ignoring my own question, “ you ever kiss a guy before?”

“Noooo, but I just know”, I say as he sits down across from me, “straight guys don’t have to kiss g-“. He cut me off leaning over the table pressing his lips to mine; I’m shocked I mean I’m sitting in a busy coffee shop people would notice. But as his lips start to move against mine, I realize I don’t care, FUCK PEOPLE. He pulls back, some people turned away but no bad reactions.

“You wanna go out with me this weekend?” he asks leaning back into his chair. “Um um I um don’t even know your name” I stammer breathless, he’s a good kisser.

“Kris, Kris Mavros”. *DING LIGHT BULB*. “Wait you go to my school, you’re on the swim team” I say kinda …I…I…I don’t know how I feel.

“Wait how do you know me?” Kris’ ask. “Matt…Farrow. He’s my best friend, he swims with you, I’ve been to the meets.” I respond he shrugs again.

“So wanna go out” he ask again, picking up my drink and taking a sip. “yeah I guess” stammering again, I really need to work on that. “Great call me with your address, see you Friday, hope you like Greek food,” and with that he left leaving me empty coffee in my hand his number written around its rim and ruffling my hair.

Two weeks later I start junior year having come out to my parents and the school and being labeled as the boyfriend of the captain of the swim team…Hey I guess it’s better than being nameless/title less like the last two years *~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*

“Justin” snaps Ryan knocking me out of reverie. “Look, YOU said, something’s up, YOU said, he’s not acting the same pulling back, pushing you away, being meaner.”

“Ryan, don’t put that back on me” I hiss trying to keep my voice down. My parents know what’s up when Kris is around, he helped me come out to them. They don’t know that Ryan sneaks in threw the basement window to my room, which they moved me to, from my bedroom next to theirs, when I came out. “He acted the same way a couple of weeks ago when he was going to college and I was staying here, he just needs his space”.

“Bullshit! Stop making excuses for him he goes to college 45 minutes away and he acts like that all the time” Ryan barks obviously very aroused and very pissed. “Keep quiet” I hiss again, “you’re not here remember, and you have to go home anyway didn’t you say your parents want you home at 11 cause school started again, plus Kris is gonna come at 11 you need to go.”

“Wait, he misses your anniversary, and sneaks into your house three days later, that’s fucked up” Ryan whispers, he’s right and I’m pissed at Kris about it but Ryan doesn’t need to know any more about it. “Leave” I say, and he can tell from my tone it’s final.

He gets up and puts his shoes on, I stare at his back. He’s pissed and I’m so gonna get it tomorrow. I guess I should explain:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Ryan Shaw. Hot guy. Blonde long shaggy hair, always tan, perfect abs, cut V waist, white teeth, tall, taller than me but so is Kris, in my year, on the Lacrosse Team with me, also on the soccer team, and blue eyes, dark blue around the outer edge of the iris blending into an icy blue on the inner rim. Also he’s the biggest fag hater at school. Started bullying me at school when I came out, tried to get me kicked off the lacrosse team for being gay. I hated him. I hated him when he got my number from a friend and called me over the summer. I hated him when he said he had a problem only I could deal with. I hated him when he kissed me on the back porch of my house then ran away. Hated him until he told me he was gay and liked me, which was July. This is September. And I always told him I had a boyfriend and that we could only be friends. Well over the summer when I wasn’t with Matt or Lily (other bestfriend) or Kris, I was with Ryan.

Funnily enough the first day of school I walk up with Matt to tell Ryan hi and the fag jokes started again. Matt (gay also only flamboyantly!) asked what was I thinking he hated us. Only Ryan and I knew of our time together, and that’s who he wanted to know, no one more.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So I know when I piss him off the fag jokes the next day are doubled, but he always text me after to tell me he’s sorry. That’s nice…I guess. He pulls the chair to the window lifts himself up, but before climbing out he turns back “you going to school tomorrow” he ask. Meaning *are you gonna stay up all night fucking Kris and skip school tomorrow*.

“Depends,” I say, “are you going to be an ass to me tomorrow?” He grunts “Hmpf” before crawling through the window. Now I know I’m getting it tomorrow, probably jello in my locker.

I settle back into bed, Kris said he would be here by 11. It’s 10:44, five minutes later I’m knocked out. BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ my phone goes off on the night stand it’s Kris ~@ the backdoor let me N~ he text and the time on my phone says 12:57. I walk down the hall to the backdoor and open it. He’s outside blue jeans, black wife beater, hair longer hasn’t been cut, and red blood shot eyes, reeks of beer!

“Hey” he murmurs, leans in to kiss me. I put my hands on his chest. “You said eleven… guess beer is more important than me.”

“Stop, not tonight, I’m tired I’ve had a bad day and I needed a break, I had a few with Tony,” as he says this he leans again pulling me into a hug, his head in the crook of my neck. “I hated it when you drink and drive” I whisper in his ear smelling his delicious scent. He responds by kissing my neck, then up my jaw to my lips. We kiss, he taste like beer but something else, something more, metallic like, stronger then beer, he took something, he’s drugged.

I take his hand and lead him back to my room, to my bed and turn around to get the door. I look back and he’s already got his shoes and shirt off, taking off his jeans now till he is now in his boxer briefs. One of my anniversary presents to him, the pair that is see through, kinda like a fishing net, the ones on the Fresh Pair advertisement. His other present a silver bracelet, on his wrist, his full name inscribed in it Kristopher Pero Mavros, my initials in a heart on the back “JC” *Justin Clint*. Where are mine, who knows he’s been telling me he’s broke been broke for weeks and that he put all his summer job money towards college but I thought I would at least get something…*we’ll see*.

“Oh you got your presents” I say raising my eyebrows at him, he hasn’t mentioned anything about them yet. “Yeah thanks babe. My mom said you left something for me. Don’t worry I’ll get yours soon, I’m just low on money now” he says drunkenly as he reaches for the lube out of the nightstand. We stopped using condoms; we swore to each other that we would be the only people we would touch in that way.

He’s naked pulling my shirt over my head kissing me all over my face, neck and chest. It only takes me a minute to uncross my arms and kiss him back. Somehow he’s taken my boxers off in the last 15 seconds also.

Were on the bed, making out and its hot, his penis is rubbing against mine. Kris’ penis, big, not to big but just enough for me, is leaking on mine as he lays his full weight on me and starts to thrust. It’s making me crazy, and he loves to do that to me *Make me crazy I mean*. He pulls back and grabs the lube spreading it along his 8 inches, then my crack and hole sticking a finger in, then 2. He grabs my pillow and places it under my hips and my legs around his hips and starts the descent.

I love it, if there’s one thing in this relationship were getting right, it’s the sex. He’s insatiable and I love that about him, plus he claims he’s the opposite of a pre-mature ejaculator, cause it takes him awhile to cum, usually giving me two and three orgasms before he reaches the point of no return. I love the fact that it leads to amazing sex, he loves it too. Unless he wants a quick wank ever since he’s been sleeping at college I always get texts from him complaining that he needs my warm mouth or hot ass!

Kris is on his knees rocking back and forth into me, while I grip the sheets and my mouth to stop myself from moaning. Then he leans over me his arms on either side holding himself while we kiss and fuck. I moaning into his mouth, then he picks up the pace. “Faster, faster,” I gasp in my sex drunk haze “harder” I moan. I’m writhing around under him and he loves it, he loves to see how he makes me feel. I throw my hands from the sheets and grab his muscular back, SCRATCH! He groans aload gasping for breath and pulling his lips from mine. I see his eyes and there’s a fire in them, he loved it, and begins to thrust even harder. His chiseled hips hitting my soft cheeks, his cock rubbing my spot constantly and he’s smiling I can see the outline of his cheeks, lips and teeth; he’s feeding off my incessant moans and gasps. He leans in to kiss me again and I feel the sweat drip from his nose, and I can’t take it I'm cumming, my penis has been stimulated from his the rocking between his washboard abs and my own and I grab his shoulders and moan. “CUMMMMMINGGGG!”

I start to shake and moan louder than all the times before, I have never cum like this before. Kris kisses my ear and is gasping “shhhh!” to me trying to get me to be quiet while continuing to pound faster. It’s amazing and I try to stop myself from cumming on his and my stomachs. He goes to kiss me again and stifle my moans but I move my head and lift up and “AHHHHHH”he yells. I bite his shoulder *that’s deff gonna leave a mark* he’s groaning, loud, but at least I'm not. *OK I have a couple vices, chalk up scratching and biting.*

Kris stops thrusting and looks down at me, green eyes ablaze. He’s unstoppable, gasping for breath but not even close to cumming. He nuzzles my neck, still in me, “you ready for round two” he whispers in my ear. I just whimper and grab his ass cheeks enticing him to thrust. And were off again…