Seeing Double - 6. Chapter 6

MATT

I was horrified when I saw Drackhir standing over Dan, the aura of his mask causing Dan to lose the ability to talk because he was so intimidated.
It was now a Monday, the fresher’s week was over and I had now started lectures.
I didn’t want to see Dan; I couldn’t face him after what had happened.
He would have witnessed everything that had happened in that park, and there was no denying any of it.

He would have questions, questions that I didn’t want to answer; questions that would lead to a bizarre explanation and a horrible reality for me.
I almost hoped that he didn’t like me, that he wouldn’t complicate things like that, because I couldn’t cope with what would happen.
I saw him just as I was about to go into the building my lecture was in; and he saw me.
Using a small trick I removed my presence from his mind, blinding him to my presence but letting him see everything else.
Hopefully he will have thought he was mistaken.

I walked into my lecture unsure of what would happen.

Thankfully the Monday was a busy day so there was plenty of opportunity to stay away from Dan.
Wednesday and Friday though were not so busy and I had to avoid Dan several times around campus.
Many times I could hide around groups of people, other times I had to remove my presence from his mind though I was loathe to do it.
Ailarha had given me permission to use such powers on humans in order to keep some sense of secrecy for now.
But I could tell people. I didn’t want to tell any other family members; they had done nothing to support me since I came out.
Only my parents supported me and they already knew.

Instead I had told my flatmates.

Their shocked reaction was understandable and, after I had managed to stop them from shouting out on the rooftops about it, they realised how important secrecy was to me.
I would have to pay them back for the trust that they had shown me.
For a week I had ignored all contact with Dan. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him, to have to tell him the secrets that I had buried so deep for so long.
And to add insult, my friend was unable to come down as the course had been postponed.
Once again I felt separated by my powers, trying to fit in but, with the responsibilities I held as a Lord of the Gleaming Fortress, I felt unable to connect anymore, the weight of the expectations on me were almost unbearable.

I needed to get some space, a place to let myself go. Then I smiled to myself.
I walked over to the reception officeand asked to see the Principal.
I was questioned as to why I needed to see him, giving only the answer of “Matthew needs to see him now” causing the receptionist to raise an eyebrow so high it almost hid in her fringe.
She beckoned me to sit in the waiting area and I did so, taking out my iPod to ease the wait.

After a few songs worth of time I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked up to see the Principal gazing down at me, his expression a mixture of kindness and confusion.
I followed him to his office, and as I gazed round, my eyes were drawn to the thing I had come to use.

“Matthew, although I will let you use it today, I would like to hear a reason why.” The Principal said, shutting the door.

I turned to face him and nodded.

“Daniel saw me, several nights ago, performing a Releasing; if it weren’t for my intervention the other Heads of the Fortress would have killed him for invading the privacy of such an act.”

“I feel there is more that you need to say Matthew.” The Principal said, not needing any powers to read me accurately. I nodded at his answer.

“Ailarha has said that more can be told, although the trust I must place in those individuals is immense. The enchantment she wants me to use to seal the pact, should I tell anyone, is unthinkable.”

“Well, I think it is up to the people whom you wish to tell whether they want to carry such a burden.”

“I need to visit Galwrock, feel the keening scent of Energy.”

“As you wish Matthew, I hope you find the answers you are seeking.”

I nodded once more in acknowledgment and with that I activated the portal.
It was a pattern of silver thread, shaped in the design of the Rune of Movement; it was intricately woven into the rug that the Principal kept in his office.
The thread brought from Galwrock was psychically attuned so that it would take on the role of a portal.
This was only set to go to Galwrock and back; anymore locations and the Rune would have to be larger.
I stepped onto the Rune and felt a familiar weightlessness as the portal did its work.

Acolytes met me on the other side and gave me a set of robes to wear.
I quickly walked to my room in the Gleaming Fortress, called so because of the reflective rock used in its construction.

The Gleaming Fortress was nearly always reflecting the light of the twin suns that it orbited.
Only for a couple of hours each day did the Fortress not ‘Gleam’.
Getting used to the amount of sunlight and sleep had been a problem at first, using nightshades to cover my eyes to be able to get to sleep was the only way until I had learnt to train my eyes to only pick up on the sunlight levels after a certain time; a form of alarm clock.

After I had changed I looked at myself in the mirror, admiring the way the robes clung to my body.
I had foregone my illusion and adopted the body given to me by Ailarha and her fellow practitioners in the art of Energy Manipulation.

“You look magnificent.” Arlam said.

Arlam had a crush on me, but at some two hundred years old, the Energy sustaining him in the form he wished to be, I wouldn’t and wasn’t expected to reciprocate his feelings.

That didn’t stop him flirting with me however.

“You are such a flatterer Arlam.” I said smiling.

“I try to be.” He replied flashing a smile.

“But it isn’t me.” I said after a brief moment of silence.

“Of course it is, we fashioned your body into the perfect vessel for the Energy to take hold.”

“No. It isn’t. You made me like that because of wanting the perfect vessel. I don’t feel me when I let the illusion dissolve.”

“You feel that old body is better for you?” Arlam asked surprised.

“My old body was nowhere near as good as this one but it is the one I have been used to all my life, all the scars,
the blemishes are all me and nothing will ever change that. Even if I can’t change back I would keep the illusion up.”

Arlam smiled and blew a kiss towards me then left, leaving me stuck in my own thoughts. That was a sudden exit from him, I thought to myself, but put that aside.
I walked into the grounds; some acolytes were sparring, others reading lore on their chosen aspect.
Feeling the breeze as it sighed past me relaxed me a little and I could sense the Energy pulse through the planet like a heartbeat.
Past the tended gardens I found the Falls of Truth.

The Falls of Truth were a set of huge waterfalls with the top one being over half a kilometre in length.
It was here the final test was set; to pass you had to have faith in your abilities in order to fly.
The roar of the Falls was magnificent. The mist clung to my face as I breathed in the smells coming from the trees nearby.

Collecting myself, I drew a deep breath and jumped from a rock near the edge of the Falls.
I dropped past the second level of the waterfalls before I commanded the Energy to lift me into the air, first slowing my descent then ascending, my body glowing slightly from the Energy that was keeping me aloft.
After a Releasing the Energy was pliable and relaxed.

The more Energy you used the tenser and agitated it became until it finally rebelled and a Releasing was needed once more to placate it.
Right now, seeing as though I had only recently performed a Releasing, the Energy within me was content and malleable, no effort needed in order to use it.
I had flown above the Falls of Truth now, and I was as high as the top tower of the Fortress.
I stopped myself at that height and looked round at what I could see.

The Falls still looked amazing from this height, the full length of them visible to me now. I could see every tower and spire of the Fortress in crystal detail, the sunlight reflecting off the surface justifying its name.
The gardens, the mountains in the distance, everything was clear in my mind.
I darted off towards the forest to my right. As soon as I entered the dimness struck me and I had to slow down until my eyes had adjusted to the light.
Hovering a few feet above the forest floor, I could hear the stillness of the forest. I felt at ease, the gigantic trees embracing me.

I slowly started to weave through the trees, banking and rolling my body to avoid the trees.
Once I found a rhythm I started to speed up.
Jinking around the trees at a quicker and quicker pace, I soared near the canopy only to dive near to the floor and back again revelling in the sensations of flying through the forest.
I felt free, unhindered, I was one with the Energy, allowing me to fly and have increased reflexes making it easier to traverse the forest quickly.

But after a few minutes the forest became less dense and I slowed down as I exited.
After the flight I knew what I had to do, what I had known all along I must do.
Dan had a right to know, he had a right to know about the Energy and all that side. But did he need to know about my feelings for him?
I flew directly to the Fortress where I changed back again into my...mortal...clothes. Was that even right? Thinking of myself as other than mortal? I shuddered.
Ignoring the extravagance within the rooms I passed, I made my way back to the original portal and passed through with no fanfare. I had some explaining to do.

Through the campus grounds I walked, noting the slow decline of the trees for the Autumn and Winter, I was hoping that what Dan and I had would not suffer the same fate.
I made my way up to my room, my stomach churning over the thought of his reaction. At least I had time to plan my answer.
I unlocked my door, and as I was about to open it something felt different.
The door swung open and there stood Dan. He looked like he was here for the answers, his facial expression set.
I was lost for words. I should have asked him how he got in there but I just followed him in as he walked back into the room and left the door open.
I closed the door behind me and with the sound of it closing it felt like I was in the defendant’s box in a court, the finality of the sound deafening to me.

I sat down on the bed; he sat down on the computer chair, like a bad parody of the last time we had ended up here.

“Dan....” I began but he held a hand up to stop me.

“How did this happen?” Dan asked, his expression still unreadable.

I took a deep breath and began.

“It happened shortly after I broke up with my girlfriend.”

“You had a girlfriend?” Dan asked surprised.

I frowned. “Yes, she was the only girl I have ever had feelings towards. Why are you so surprised?”

“I thought that you knew that you didn’t like girls from an early age that’s all.” He let his sentence drift so I continued.

“She had cheated on me and I fell hard. I became so sad it verged on depression. The break up itself wasn’t what tore me up; it was that she had cheated.”

I saw Dan’s expression soften slightly.

“I was in a bad place, what with the stress of school and I started to research suicide methods. Only when I talked to my parents did it lift slightly.”

“It happened around Christmas. I had gone to bed early with a headache. Then it began.”

Dan looked puzzled.

“You saw glimpses of me when I lashed out, didn’t you Dan?” I asked tentatively.

He nodded as I saw him in concentration, trying to remember everything he saw.

Realisation hit and he looked at me with both sorrow and horror.

“It was you I saw then.” Dan managed to say.

I nodded. “It started in the middle of the night, out of nowhere. I was in agony and nothing could prepare you for what happened. It felt like every muscle was tearing, every nerve set alight, my entire body was being tortured. Or so I thought.”

Dan looked puzzled once more.

“My appearance Dan, they changed it. The figures you saw were once my teachers; they are now my equals but I learnt everything from them.”

“You changed your appearance in the park.”

Here it comes I thought, the question with no easy answer.

“Which are you? Which is the real you?”

A tear fell before I realised I was starting to well up.

“I don’t know! I’m so confused! Technically the appearance you saw at the park is me; it is how I look now that they have changed me.”

“But?” Dan asked gently. Was he now softening? I hoped so.

“But I don’t feel me in the body they have shaped. They enhanced the old one.”

“Old one?”

“What you see right now is an illusion, an illusion of what I looked like before the transformation.

Everything you saw at the gym was a lie, a fucking great big lie.”

“But it isn’t though, Matt.”

I looked up at him and I could see his eyes glistening also.

“It feels weird to know that all along you look completely different to what I see.”

“I couldn’t enter this world in my new body, so I had to look as I did before the transformation. The change is too much to have happened overnight.”

“You have had months to slowly bleed the changes in though.” Dan said confused.

“Because I never felt truly me in the new body I kept the illusion up so much that only when I thought of my abilities did I remember what I am underneath.”

“Your abilities...”Dan started.

I smiled.

“It is simply called Energy, one like so many others that exists in the Universe. However it has a sentience of its own.”

“Energy that has a sentience of its own?”

“Yes, all over the Universe there are Rivers and Pools of Energy that connect to each other and form a network.”

“The race that changed me have an affinity to this Energy and can tap into it. The Energy forms a mutual bond
with the practitioner therefore allowing them to use the Energy.”

“So it wants to form bonds with people?”

“Yes, it has a sentience and it needs the closeness of beings in order to feel content.”

“So why for the...”

“What you saw at the park?”

Dan nodded.

“It is called a Releasing. In its strongest form the Energy can be capricious and wants to be carefree, though it knows it cannot be. Think of it as a teenager.”

“A Releasing allows a portion of Energy to leave a person in the safest way possible. The amount of Energy and the potency within each person determines what kind of Releasing must be performed.”

“Safest possible way? You turned one of the biggest trees in the park to burnt kindling.”

“That was unforeseen. The Energy rushed out of me slightly harder than I had expected. Had I had less control, more would have gotten through. I’m sorry you were hurt in that.”

I felt relieved at telling him and horrible at the same time. I still couldn’t fathom his opinion on all of this.

“So what can you do with your Energy?”

I looked up.

“Anything.”

“Anything? Even bringing back the dead?”

“Not even the Energy I have at my disposal can bring the truly dead back to life. If a spirit from a body desperately wishes to go back there is a Ritual that can be performed. But, once a spirit has departed, nothing can bring it back.”

“Can you control the elements? I mean the elements of old.” Dan asked.

I raised my hand and concentrated.

“Earth, Fire, Metal, Water, Air.” I said, and as I spoke a small ball of each element appeared; all except Air which summoned a gentle breeze instead.

I let them orbit my outstretched hand for a few moments before I ended the demonstration.
Dan was in awe.

“That was amazing!”

I looked down again. The compliment seemed out of place in the conversation.
A few moments passed before Dan frowned in thought again.

“A voice, I think it was you, entered my head that night and mentioned something about something being too soon. What was that about, Matt?”

As soon as he said that I started sobbing, the thought of telling him this next thought was killing me. This one answer was why I didn’t want to get too involved but still kept hope for us being together.

“Matt.” Dan said gently. He was looking a bit sorry for asking this question.

“Ailarha said six months.”

“Six months until what, Matt?”

I tried to swallow a lump in my throat.

“I am their Champion. A vessel with power equal or more than the Lords of the Gleaming Fortress. As the Champion, I will lead those of us who use the Energy to...”

I stumbled over the last word.

“Matt, it can’t be that bad...?” Oh such a wrong answer.

I could feel my eyes flash crimson as he said that.

“I...Will lead an army into a war. A war that will see one side or the other entirely destroyed.”

I felt sick, I lay on my bed and started sobbing once again at the thought of having to lead an army in order to save their race.
Dan looked shocked, I didn’t blame him.

“It took me breaking and entering your room to get these answers Matt, how could you keep this to yourself?”

“I had only just met you, I have kept this hidden for so long...” I trailed off.

“Why did you follow me Dan?”

He didn’t answer straight away.

“I’m asking the questions.” He said.

I looked up at the ceiling, hoping an escape was above me. There wasn’t.

“We’re friends, why couldn’t you have said anything before? Does anyone else know about you and your powers?”

“Like I said, I had only just met you, I accidentally used my power against you, you saw a Releasing, and you were seeing so much of the hidden side of me it scared me.”

“Have you told anyone else Matt?” He asked again, I was hoping we wouldn’t get even more pissed at this next bit.

“My parents know, as they would, one friend from my hometown knows...and I’ve told my flatmates.”

“So you managed to tell your flatmates but not me?”

“I’ve known them for the same amount of time as I’ve known you.”

“Exactly! So you could have told me Matt, if they get to know then...”

“...why can’t you? Is that what it is? They knew before you? They live with me Dan, they had the right to know before you because I live in close proximity to them. They had the right to know what I was and what I was capable of.”

“But...”

“But what Dan? You’ve been in close proximity too? It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that...” I stopped myself before I could say anything that would give my feelings away.

“...just that what, Matt? “You can tell me anything Matt, I am your friend and you don’t have to be scared of telling me anything.”

“But I don’t just want to be friends.” I said it before I could stop myself, that tiny bit of preservation from the sentence before was thrown out of the window with those stupid eight words.

Dan just stood there.

“What did you just say?”

“It was nothing.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Then you did hear it.” I said coldly.

“Matt, do you like me, and I mean as more than a friend here?”

I sat up on the bed to see that he had also decided to sit at the foot of the bed.
I could only nod to that answer.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you anything, I knew everything would come out, I knew that we should just remain friends. A war on another planet, me having certain powers, none of it should exist. Everything is out now and everything is up in the air, I am so confused. I couldn’t tell you first partly because of this reason. I like you Dan, I’m sorry.”

I just closed my eyes once again. I couldn’t bear to hear his response to my admission that I wanted to be with him.
When nothing happened for several moments, I wondered what was happening and went to open my eyes.
But before that could happen, I felt another set of lips brush against mine.
I opened my eyes to see Dan sitting right opposite me, a grin stretched from ear to ear.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I thought that was obvious.” Dan smiled at me.

“This isn’t funny.” I retorted.

The smile faltered slightly.

“Matt, I’m not laughing at you, far from it. I think you just made me extremely happy.”

I dared to ask the question.

“You...you like me as well?”

“More than any bloke I’ve seen before. I feel something with you Matt, I am drawn to you, I can’t help but feel happy whenever I’m in your presence, can’t help but smile when I see your face.”

I went all shy and looked down, unsure of what I should be saying.
Instead, Dan took the lead, and instead of words he gently cupped my face in his hands and kissed me softly.
I wrapped my arms around him as he strengthened the kiss and I kissed him back with equal fervour.

Dan went about exploring; first his hand ran through my hair whilst another gently stroked my neck.
I buried my one hand into the back of his hair, whilst slipping my other hand underneath his shirt around his back and I pulled us even closer together.
Soon his tongue started demanding entrance and at first I was nervous, but Dan was so gentle that I found that I gave way easily, his tongue darting into my mouth, exploring, hungry.

I had failed to realise until the last minute that he had almost finished unbuttoning my shirt, the top half of my body exposed to him.
I broke the kiss.

“Dan...”

“Shhh.” He said as he laid a finger on my lips. “I said those things about your scar because I don’t care about it, it is a part of you and it is you I want, regardless of what’s here."

He gently stroked the scar with his fingers, letting them linger on my stomach and I sighed slightly, both at his touch and at his words.
I just smiled at him and he took that as a sign to continue.
After sliding the shirt off me he discarded his own t-shirt and I could see the toned muscle he had been hiding.
I faltered slightly at the difference between us.

“Matt, don’t you dare feel inadequate, I can tell what you’re thinking now stop it. Remember what I just said, I saw your body before at the gym, if I didn’t like what I saw, why would I want your shirt off so damn quick?” He said as he flashed me a smile.

I melted under that smile and just answered by kissing him hard whilst running my hands across his chest and his abs.
He held me close and broke the kissing to plant small light kisses all over my cheeks to which I giggled and he smiled back.
I started to kiss his neck to which he moaned softly.
He then did the same, starting with light, almost air like kisses, which soon developed into him gently sucking at my neck.
I gasped as he ran his fingers down my chest whilst all the time paying close attention to my neck.

I could smell his scent in his hair and I inhaled it, drinking it in, savouring this moment.
He came back up to my face and smiled again, making me blush and smile back.
He went to start something else but I stopped him. Instead, I kissed him firmly whilst running my hands slowly over his body.

Then, reaching his nipples,I slowly stroked them whilst moving down to his neck.
This had an effect as Dan moaned once more and proceeded to take my hands and push me down into the bed whilst rolling over to straddle me, pinning my hands back above me.

It felt exciting to be moved about like that, the look in Dan’s eyes was one of love and lust simultaneously.
As Dan lowered himself more onto me, I could feel him straining through his jeans, his groin meeting mine. I’m sure he felt my need through my jeans also.

“Wow that turns me on.” I said out of the blue.

“I’m glad, seeing as though you’re at my mercy.” He smiled mischievously.

He stroked my body with a single finger and I sighed as he did so.
I kept kissing him, on a high from my first gay experience.
His hand crept lower and his fingers brushed my straining erection through my jeans.

“Wait.” I said breathlessly.

Dan looked up puzzled.

“I don’t think I’m ready for anything more. This is wonderful, you’re wonderful but I don’t think I’m ready for anything heavier. I’m sorry.” I looked away, ashamed that I had stopped this thing cold.

“Matt.” Dan whispered as he nuzzled his head into my neck.

“It is me who should be sorry, after all that you’ve told me I should have known not to expect everything right now. I’m in no hurry, I’d rather do the ‘heavier’ stuff when you are confident and you want to.”

“I’m so lucky to have you Dan.”

“No, I’m luckier.”

“Are not.” I said, sticking my tongue out.

“I am.” He said with mock indignation.

This kept going until Dan kissed me with enough passion to take my breath away. “I win.” He said.

“Are you ok with us making out like we just did?” He asked.

I smiled a massive smile. “Oh yes, I’m ok with that.” I said with a cheeky grin.

Dan smiled back before we enveloped each other once more.