Seeing Double - 19. Chapter 19

DAN

“We must warn you Dan, when Matt walks through this portal, he may not react as usual. He can lock his normal personality away. We all can so that the horrors of war are lessened on our peaceful spirits.” Ailarha said whilst looking warily at the portal.

What had Matt become to cause even Ailarha to stand on edge?

A few moments after Ailarha had said those words the portal glowed more brightly and through it stepped the Champions that had accompanied Matt.

All of them had returned, not one of them had a serious injury. How brutal must their work have been to have not suffered more than minor cuts and sprains?

Their eyes spoke of their work in the temple though; and they also seemed intent on getting away from the portal as quickly as possible.

 

When Matt emerged all I could see for a moment was red.

He was smothered in blood and I went cold, fearing the worst.

‘None of it is his own Dan; he seems to have no physical injuries whatsoever.’ Sarala said quietly.

‘How can that be? How many assassins did he kill to be caked in that much blood?’

‘Is that rhetorical Dan or do you want me to estimate?’

I stayed silent answering her questions without words.

Matt collapsed to the ground sobbing and I wanted to rush over to him but Ailarha bade me not to.

“He is dangerous still.”

“Dangerous?”

Ailarha didn’t answer but instead walked forwards a few steps as Matt screamed.

“Fight it, Matt! Reign in your emotions!”

Matt just kept screaming, hands pressed deep into his temples, his helmet long since discarded.

“Please Matt! Find yourself!” Ailarha urged once more, a look of worry crossing her face.

Matt’s eyes were glowing and lines of Energy crackled along his skin.

“Sanctuary...I need....my sanctuary.” He gasped before disappearing in a blaze of light.

“What? Where did he go?” I exclaimed as I stared at the space Matt had been kneeling on only mere seconds ago.

“Dan, you may or may not be aware that each Lord has his own space, separate from their Tower, where they can go to reflect, train or rediscover themselves.”

“And Matt has one of these places? Why has he gone there?”

“Yes, Matt does too and he needs to bring his normal personality back. I can see you’re confused and so I will explain.” Ailarha added after seeing my expression plastered across my face.

“When Matt saw his sister die, did something seem to snap in him? Inside his mind?”

“I think so; he hasn’t been himself at all.”

“That’s because, in a sense, he isn’t Matt. Let me explain. With Energy residing in you, you feel emotions much more strongly. When Matt saw his sister die, a multitude of negative emotion swamped him. He couldn’t fight it all and he has become, hopefully temporarily, forced deeper into his mind and the Matt in control right now is the Matt consumed by anger, hatred, grief and guilt.”

“Is this how the Dark Practitioners came about?”

Ailarha nodded “Now you know why it is imperative Matt returns to us, not just in body but back in sound mind and spirit. His normal self is currently wrestling with his negative emotions in his mind for control over his body.”

“I wish to find him. Where will he be?”

“I must warn you Dan, each sanctuary is different, and I only know the location of one boundary of his sanctuary. No one knows the inner workings or the way around it Dan, each sanctuary is of utmost secrecy between us.”

“So you’re saying it will be dangerous?”

Ailarha nodded slightly.

“Matt could have anything set up there so long as it doesn’t involve Dark Energy which we would sense. And who knows what state Matt is in right now. Please be careful Dan.”

I nodded before she gave Sarala the whereabouts of the boundary.

Within mere heartbeats Sarala had transported us to the location Ailarha had given us.

A large mound of earth, covered over by grasses and hardy plants faced us and a large stone slab was inset into the mound.

Tentatively I placed my hand over the slab and runes danced across it. Gradually the stone began to disappear revealing a dark entranceway just big enough for me to stand up in.

There was no lighting within the tunnel and so I had to summon flames of Energy into my hand to help illuminate the way forward.

The walls were rough and unpolished; the tunnel had been roughly cut enough to make it workable. No runes or carvings adorned the walls and the floor was equally as unembellished. This was back to nature work, as far from the Fortress as Matt could get.

 

As I slowly walked along I could hear whispers and distant chanting. The sound of it set my hairs on end.

‘This place is closely associated with Galwrock’s spirit network. Matt has granted them safe haven here, maybe for the approaching war. The whispers are those of the dead, they lie deep underground normally. Slumbering until they are called for aid once more.’

“Will the spirits confront me?”

‘No. Not unless you do something to disrupt them enough. They can sense my Energy and the little that resides in you and they can tell it is not hostile. We should be safe.’

 

I continued to move further in and the whispers gained volume and the amount of different voices increased.

The words they were speaking evaded me, like my ears couldn’t process the words and only heard the rasp in each voice.

The sound of the waves crashing in the distance mingled with the whispers, assaulting my ears, the constant rasping of the words that evaded me still had me on edge.

Soon enough we reached a fork in the tunnel, the first decision we had had to make.

“Any ideas, Sarala?”

I could sense Sarala in thought as she stretched out her power to find the way before she instantly recoiled her power as if burned.

‘Left. I just touched the edge of a barrier of Energy and it is one of the strongest pieces of shielding I have ever encountered.’

A flutter of nerves suddenly overcame me as I sensed Sarala’s apprehension, her usual cockiness and sarcasm replaced by a reluctance to be near so much Energy.

‘Please be careful Dan, my power will not be able to help you much here.’

I suddenly felt vulnerable as she said those words to me.

The sound of the waves grew louder and slowly, very slowly I could see faint light play across the walls.

I sped up as I saw the light and it grew in strength with each step I took.

If the situation wasn’t so alarming I would have found it funny. I was running towards a white light; there would be nothing heavenly about what greeted me I was sure of that.

 

Bursting out into the open I gasped as I saw the sight that assailed my eyes.

Firstly, I had not counted on the cliff face being so tall. I was at least half a mile up from sea level and there was about the same amount of cliff hanging above me.

The granite cliff face glittered from the light Matt was exuding.

 

I was standing on a small ledge that jutted out of the cliff face.

Looking quickly around me it was probably only big enough to fit a king size double bed at a stretch.

Spray whipped across my face from the wind that cut into me, even though I was hundreds of metres up from sea level the height of the waves meant I could still feel the spray that came off of them.

“How are the waves so high?”

‘I’ll give you one guess.’ Sarala said soberly.

 

The obvious sight though, was what was happening a little out into the ocean.

Tens of metres above me, a little away from the cliff face, Matt hovered in the air.

He glowed so brightly, great pulses of light lit up the ocean, as if he had become a miniature sun.

But it was what was going on around him that made me gasp the most.

Giant plumes of water were rising up out of the sea, dozens of them, reaching past Matt and past the top of the cliffs as well.

Thin coils of water were twisted around the main columns and a whirlpool raged directly beneath Matt’s feet.

The sky was turbulent, black clouds covered the entire sky and streaks of violent lightning flashed both in the clouds and some even forked down onto the columns of water, causing electricity to chain downwards.

‘This kind of display is insane. He is easily keeping millions of tonnes of water upright right now. And still his Energy reserves show no sign of being depleted.’

“What does that mean?”

‘Unless you can snap him out of this, he could continue to stay like this, until his mind finally breaks free of his emotions.’

“Shit!”

‘Yes, that’s one way of putting it.’

“How are we going to get through to him?”

‘His barrier prevents physical Energy from passing through but I think I may be able to open a gap in his mental barrier, although it will be for only a split second, before his defences overwhelm me. Use the power you have lying in you to try and reach him telepathically once I open his defences.’

I nodded and I could feel the amulet glow hot with power.

The columns of water shook slightly and I found my power and looked directly at the figure that was Matt across the ocean.

I projected my mental self across the ocean and into Matt’s mind.

‘Matt! Please! It’s Dan! Stop this!”

I was pushed out as Sarala was overwhelmed by his defences as she predicted.

I had attracted his attention.

Even from the distance we were at I could feel his eyes boring into me.

Without warning a scream resounded in my head and sliced into my mind.

I screamed alongside it; the sound in my head was one of anguish and pain.

“What the fuck was that!” I exclaimed at Sarala.

‘His reply. That was a scream born out of the negative emotions he has been feeling, made psychic, clawing at the minds of anyone nearby. He has probably unleashed more it’s just that no one has been here to hear them.’

“Will you be able to break his defences again?”

‘Yes, although each time will get harder, so make each attempt count.’

I nodded whilst saying ‘Ok’ in my head.

Again I took the columns of water wobbling as my cue to try and enter Matt’s mind.

‘Matt! I know you’re here. Please let me in. Let me help you!’

‘There is nothing you can do. Leave me.’ He replied and even with such a reply my heart soared that he had answered back.

I was thrown out once more.

The wind intensified and lightning raged more frequently.

‘At least he replied.’ Sarala said quietly.

“Again?”

‘Yes, we will keep going until I am unable to try anymore, we will rescue Matt.’

“Ok.”

 

‘This isn’t the Matt you know, leave now before I end you.’

“Fuck!” The results of the fifth attempt only to serve making angry Matt come to the fore.

‘Watch out!’ Sarala cried out just a moment too late.

I could see a glint on the wind and realised this was wind imbued with Energy.

I raised my shields but the wind sliced through them and into my face.

A cut was scored across my cheek.

I gasped not in pain but of the fact Matt had sent that.

Touching my face I could tell it was bleeding, though it wasn’t deep.

 

‘Leave now!’

Another failed attempt and another cut sliced its way onto my skin by the razor wind.

Again and again we tried, each time I was warned off with a cut, the wind now focussing on my chest. Lines started to criss cross, I took off my shirt and surveyed the damage, the cuts were all superficial but they still stung like hell and I looked a mess.

More psychic screams had torn into my mind and I was on the verge of tears, nothing seemed to be working, my head was throbbing from concentration and the aftermaths of the screams.

Once again we tried.

‘GO AWAY!’

This time I could feel the rage like it was tangible.

And this time, the razor wind went a step further.

It gouged much deeper this time and I could see red gore seep out from the wound, more freely than the other shallower cuts and I cried out both in pain and in fear.

This time, without Sarala to break the barriers, but drawing on the pain of my injuries I flung my mind at Matt’s defences and by some miracle I tumbled through.

‘Matt! Please, I can’t take this, please...please come back to me.’

Several cuts tore into me, none of them as deep as the last one but they still clawed back my skin drawing fresh blood.

That last assault on Matt had all but exhausted me, and I fell to the ground sobbing.

There was nothing more I could do.

‘I am sorry Dan.’ Sarala said gently.

She didn’t expect a reply and neither did I give her one.

The salt in the water made the wounds hurt even more and the wind howled around me.

I was spent and I snatched glimpses of Matt still holding up the giant plumes of water.

The bleeding had finally caught up to me and I slowly lay down and my vision went cloudy.

 

MATT

 

Every negative emotion possible warred inside me.

I was a maelstrom of emotion and my power was turning it physical using the ocean.

I barely felt the use of power.

Another personality had manifested itself, formed of my negative emotions, and it had pushed me aside.

Guilt tore through me. I should have done better for my sister, I could have prevented it, but now she lay cold in the ground.

Most of my anger now spent from the time in the assassins’ temple, only grief and guilt sustained the negative persona.

I could see Dan appear on the ledge below me. I could feel Sarala and Dan try to enter my mind.

Watched as Dan was thrown out each time and got hurt each time he did so.

Though my body didn’t shed any tears, I cried every time my body summoned the wind that hurt Dan.

As I watched his resolve crumble a new type of fury welled up, and it was aimed at what I had allowed my body, my alter persona do.

‘Enough of this, I may feel guilt at my sister’s death, but I will no longer be forced into the recesses of my mind and see other people get hurt.’

The emotion, now sentient itself, fought me.

A mental duel ensued, the battlefield being the inside of my head.

Happy memories of me and Jade flashed through my consciousness and I concentrated on those. Better to remember her how she wished to be remembered. Do not dwell on how she died, but focus on what she did when she was alive.

Slowly, I beat the persona into submission and pushed those thoughts behind a door in my mind and sealed it.

Everything now seemed clearer.

The sounds seemed louder, colours brighter as I became fully in control of myself again.

I calmed the water and forced the giant columns of water back into the ocean.

The sky turned back to a listless grey colour.

I glided across the ocean, tears streaming down my face over what I had done.

‘Ailarha, please forgive me. Please help me now.’

As if she had been waiting for this moment, she appeared next to Dan.

I knelt before her as I reached the ledge.

“I...lost control, I couldn’t deal with the emotions, they were so strong, and it took reducing Dan to this, for me to wrestle my emotions back under control. Please help me Ailarha, I don’t want to hurt Dan anymore, I can’t bear to see him break down because of me.”

I let the tears fall freely; they had a cathartic effect on me.

“Please take him Ailarha, I shouldn’t be allowed to touch him after what I’ve done. Get Awan to help, please I beg you.”

“Matt, what you did to Dan was terrible yes. But it wasn’t you; we must train you further to constrain your emotions. I will take Dan now, stay here and convene with the spirits, they will help guide you back fully to where you should be.”

I just nodded and with that she took Dan into her arms and fell back into a portal she created just behind her.

Walking slowly into the tunnel and down the other fork, I went to seek serenity and advice from the spirits, praying Dan was ok as I went.

 

DAN

 

The wounds were quick to heal; barely a couple of hours at Awan’s infirmary had my injuries practically healed.

The deeper wounds had been bandaged up but nothing that wouldn’t heal.

I was still a bit weak from the severe headaches brought on by the psychic screams and the concentration needed for what I had done, but nothing immediately dangerous to my health.

I thanked Awan before making my way to Ailarha’s study room.

Paying no attention to the decor I met Ailarha’s gaze as she looked up from her work.

“He’s gone back to the Tower. He is scared of your judgment and he has not stopped tearing himself up, figuratively thank the spirits, for what his alter ego did to you.”

“But I understand that that wasn’t the true Matt, that it was the collection of his emotions lashing out.”

“And yet he is beside himself over what he did. He thinks you may wish never to see him again.”

I just stood slack jawed.

“This has shaken him up more than you realise Dan, though the injuries you sustained won’t scar and will heal quickly, Matt’s wounds are emotional and cannot be fixed easily. He needs you Dan, and I know you’re not leaving him.”

“How could he believe I would just walk away from him?”

“His question is ‘How could Dan possibly forgive me for the harm I caused him?’” Ailarha replied softly.

“Well, I will go and tell him how I will forgive him.”

Ailarha smiled before ushering me away and I didn’t need prompting twice.

 

It was night on this part of Galwrock as I emerged, this one of few hours that darkness presided.

Lanterns were alight all along the cloisters and corridors of the Tower. I had never seen this side of the Tower and it was every bit as majestic at night as it was during the day.

 

I found Matt in his private meditation garden. It was a small courtyard with a large cherry blossom tree in the centre, along with a stone altar for summoning spirits to meditate with.

Matt was sitting in front of the altar; cross legged, small rocks formed an orbit around an invisible ball above the altar.

 

As silently as I could I slipped my arms around him as I sat behind him, my legs stretched out either side of him.

“Hey.” Matt said so softly it was barely audible.

“Hey.” I whispered, equally as gently.

“I don’t deserve you touching me Dan; you should have left me by now.”

I let my lips graze the back of his neck and he sighed involuntarily.

“Please Dan, I don’t deserve this, I hurt you. You should feel disgusted at touching me.”

Hearing his words made me tear up as I realised Ailarha hadn’t been lying. He really had been beating himself up.

“Well...let me tell you Matthew, I have never once felt disgusted about touching you, and it certainly isn’t happening now. You think I’m touching you because I have to? It’s because I want to Matt. And I will never leave you.”

He turned in my embrace to face me, sitting cross legged once more.

“You’re being too kind...after what I did, what I saw myself doing to you I...I felt sick at myself.”

“Matt, it is you that needs healing now. This was merely physical what happened to me. Let me help you Matt.”

I pulled him into a hug, caressing his neck and stroking through his hair.

“I...I don’t deserve...”

“Even if you don’t think you do, I beg to differ. Let me in Matt.”

Matt knew what I meant and he did something he had never done. He let his entire network of mental shielding down, I didn’t need Sarala’s help getting through.

I gently eased into his mind.

Sarala guided me as to how to soothe Matt, all the while keeping my embrace tight on him.

I couldn’t banish his thoughts like more experienced telepaths, but I could take the edge off them.

Slowly, gently I smoothed his thoughts, and planted the thought that I wasn’t going anywhere.

Matt broke the embrace to look into my eyes.

“I saw into your mind just now too. You understand; you know what happened. That it wasn’t ‘me’ per se.”

“Exactly Matt, I’m not going anywhere. I will always be here for you.”

“You’re too good to me, too good for me Dan.”

I moved him gently onto his back and straddled his hips before leaning over him.

Moving his arms above him I placed a small kiss on his lips.

“That’s rubbish Matt; I love you, no way am I too good for you.”

“But...”

I shushed him with another kiss.

“No more buts, no more apologies, I understand, and, like I’ve said before, I’m not going anywhere and...” I looked at the position I had him in “...neither are you.”

Finally Matt smiled, albeit a small smile, but a smile nevertheless.

Matt leaned up slightly and I leaned in to meet him, linking my hands in his as I kept his hands above his head, staying like that as I kissed him tenderly and Matt surrendered finally to what was happening and accepted I wanted him.

After I got off of him, we went back to our room and just held each other.

“Thank you Dan, for being so supportive.”

“What’s a boyfriend to do eh?”

Matt managed to smile again.

“Please hold me close tonight Dan, I feel so raw.”

I kissed his forehead before pulling him closer into me.

“I love you Matt, always remember that, I will never let you go.”

“I love you too Dan, so much.”

Sleep took us soon after.