Seeing Double - 7. Chapter 7

DAN

I lay on the bed with Matt, his head resting on my chest and I could hear him breathing as he slept.
I thought back to earlier on in the day with everything that happened. It was all a blur.
Me persuading the warden that Matt wanted me to go in there to find something as he was busy, using the fact that Matt had invited me up before. I couldn’t believe my luck when he relented.

I stood in the room pacing around. I looked at his timetable and saw that he should be back, he didn’t have anything scheduled.
I was getting annoyed both at what he had kept secret and him not getting back.
But of course he did return, and he looked shocked and nervous at me being there.
I thought I might have made the wrong decision, coming to force the answers. But he told me everything; the powers, the war, and the feelings he has.

I was fascinated and sad when he told me his story relating to his powers, the torment he went through.
And then he dropped two bombshells in quick succession. He had to go to war, one that didn’t concern Earth.
And he wanted me, liked me, ever since we had met.

Only the second had impacted straight away and I had reacted, free to reveal my feelings. Being able to touch him like I did.... to be that close to him was... exciting.
I knew I should have taken it slower but I wasn’t thinking straight. Matt was fine though and I understood why he wanted to stay at the stage he had asked we stay at for now. I wanted more, but I could wait. For now.
I sensed we would progress, when, I didn’t know. And although I was willing to wait there was a limit. I hoped Matt could become close to me quickly.
The first bombshell he had loosed had lain unexploded until now.

The reality of it sunk into me and tears sprung into my eyes.

I had not long held him in my arms like a lover and already images of him wounded or dead welled up like a new spring in my mind.
I started to sob silently, trying not to wake Matt. But the movement of my chest woke him and as he slowly shook his grogginess away his face turned into one of concern.

“Dan? What’s wrong?” He asked, the worry clear on his face.

“The thoughts of you....going to war...I can’t... I can’t get them out of my head.” I managed to say.

Matt looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

I gazed into his eyes and he wrapped his arms around me whilst he kissed me gently.
As he did so images of the initial meet; of when we were laughing at the clothes store; of last night flooded into my head, he was showing me him in his vitality.

“Don’t worry, it is a while away yet and even if I have to face the entire army myself I will come back.” He whispered into my ear.

I rubbed his chest as I kissed him and he smiled a huge smile.

“That’s good.” He purred.

Unfortunately the clock put a stop to anymore fun.

I left before him as I went to my early morning lecture, which allowed me to think about what we needed to talk about now that we were together.
‘Were we going to be out to the campus? Hold hands in public? The question of how far we went together; even though I said to myself I wouldn’t press the issue.’

My mind was on anything but the lecture at hand so I just grabbed the handouts and left as quickly as possible.
I knew Matt had helped coax those memories to the fore of my mind to mask the ones I had sobbed over but now my mind was wondering back to those memories. Wondering what he would have to do, how long he would have to fight.

“Don’t think about it Dan.” The voice entered my head gently, soothing my thoughts and I looked around to see Matt over the other side of the grassy area separating the paths we stood on.

I walked over to him and smiled before giving him a hug, to which he smiled back and slipped his hand around my waist in greeting for a few moments.

“How do you do that?” I asked.

“Do what?” He replied, feigning innocence.

“You know what you handsome man.” I purred and I got the response I wanted; he blushed.

Once Matt composed himself quickly he replied “Without you knowing? You haven’t trained your mind to stop me.”

“How do I do that?” I asked and Matt looked hurt.

“I trust you Matt.” I said reassuring him “But it’s a bit of a shock when it happens. I’d just like a little heads up so to speak.”

Matt nodded at this.

“Imagine your thoughts are kept behind a door, like the one to the front of your house.”I nodded, closed my eyes and imagined that every thought had a door in front of it.

“Now whenever I want to speak telepathically, I will perform a simple ‘ping’ to let you know I want to say something.”

“What will this ‘ping’ be like?” I asked, and no sooner had I said the question then I heard a quiet voice that said

‘Hiya gorgeous.’

Matt just smiled at me.

“That’s cute Matt.” I smiled back whilst blushing.

“That way I will nearly always ask permission like that.”

“Nearly always?” I questioned.

“Well there may come a time when I need to enter your mind and you can’t let me in or if I need to react quickly.”

I gave a nod and hugged him.

“I have the afternoon off.” Matt said a glint in his eyes.

“Ok, but can we also talk?” I said, already knowing Matt knew what I was on about.

“Sure, of course Dan.”

I nodded and left him so he could go to his last lecture of the day.

I decided to meet up with Gary, who I hadn’t seen since the ball I hadn’t spoken to him properly since that day at the gym.
I rang him hoping he wouldn’t be too annoyed at my ignorance of him over the last few days.

“Dan!” Gary yelled down the phone.

“Hey, Gary.” I replied slightly more reserved but nonetheless enthusiastically.

“What’s up mate?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?”

“That was out of the blue.” He replied acknowledging the lack of time spent with him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that Gary, really I am…”

“Dan, don’t sweat it mate, I’m sure you will be telling me some of what you’ve been up to...” Gary said expecting me to oblige.

“Of course I will…if you can keep your mouth shut.” I said with a smile on my face.

“Cheeky git.” He chuckled.

“So how about it?”

“Well I am going back to my flat now if you want to meet me there? I assume you know where it is still?” The last question phrased as a tease.

“Of course...just follow the smell isn’t it?” I replied, trying not to laugh.

“Bastard!” He replied before adding a laugh.

I laughed down the phone with him before saying “I’ll meet you in ten, Gary.”

“Sure mate.” He said before hanging up.

I was glad about meeting Gary. I needed his pragmatism as well as his friendship and support.
Gary and Sam were my two best friends, I hung out with others but their lifestyle wasn’t what I’d call healthy.
Gary and Sam had helped me and they knew how much I appreciated their help.
I decided to walk instead of taking public transport and I arrived at Gary’s flat to find him just opening the door.

“Hey, Gary.” I said cheerfully.

He finished unlocking the door before dashing over to me and giving me a bear hug.

I managed a muffled “Put me down” before he finally relented.

“Forget the meet up, I need the hospital now!” I joked.

Gary raised an eyebrow before saying “Yeah sorry, sort of glad to meet up again you know?”

“And you had to crush the life out of me to get that across?” I teased.

“Shut up and get in drama queen.” He replied, a grin plastered across his face.

I grinned at him before taking the invitation and walking into his flat.
It was typical Gary in its decor.
There were bright red walls on which hung black and white photos. Some of famous sports stars, but mostly of his family.
Then there was one wall devoted to pictures of his friends.

I walked up to the wall and saw the photos of me and Gary, including, and I blushed at this, the photo of him and me in drag; Gary had one leg hitched up in front of me and pretended to kiss me.
This was all still before I came out to him and he was still excellent about the whole thing.

“I still can’t believe you did that Gary.” I said incredulously and he turned and laughed as he saw the photo to which I was pointing.

“Yeah I know. It helps to do it with at least six cans inside you though.” And he winked, to which I smirked.

“You seemed a bit unsure that day.” Gary said suddenly.

“I was coming to terms with me being gay and I was afraid to tell you... especially in drag!”

“Hmm that was an intense day.”Gary replied.

“The day in drag or...”

“You know which day I meant.”

I nodded.

“You know I will always be grateful for your support.” I said unexpectedly.

“Whoa, where did that come from?” He said looking puzzled and I just shrugged.

“You know that I will always be there mate, just like you have and will be for me.”Gary said sincerely.

I nodded and gave him a smile which he returned.
A few moments of silence passed.

“I just think I’ve got in over my head this time Gary.”

“What? With Matt?”

“Yeah, with me and Matt.”

“What’s happened, Dan?”

“He definitely has powers.”

“Seriously?”

“After the last conversation we had about him, you doubt me?”

“No not at all, it’s just weird; really weird even.”

“Uh huh, I saw it with my own eyes Gary.”

“How?”

“He was at the ball, remember?”

“Yeah, you were practically drooling over him!” Gary smirked.

“No I...”I started before realising I couldn’t take my eyes off him all night.

“So you were saying.” Gary said that same smirk stuck to his face.

“Where were you by the way?” I asked, already knowing what was coming.

“Well, I met a girl.”

“Say no more.” I replied, a smirk rising to my face now instead.

“Shut up and get on with it.” Gary said playfully.

“He ran out near to the end of the ball, I followed and he seemed hunched over and I tried to see if he was ok.”

“Matt’s voice changed and became almost demonic, telling me to not get involved. His eyes changed into pits of flame. It was as scary as fuck Gary.”

“So what happened then?”

“He ran off and I felt my legs following him...”

“What? Wait a second.” He said, holding up a hand.

“Gary...”

“You followed him after he warned you not to, he changed and you could see he was dangerous at that point!”

“I know it was stupid, Gary. But I needed to know what was happening to him.”

He seemed to think on this before making some sort of decision and waving me onto more of the retelling.

“Matt went to a park...”

“And...?” Gary prompted.
I tried as best as I could to tell him about what Matt calls the Releasing; the dome, the lightning, the exploded tree, the aftermath, everything.
Throughout all this Gary was listening intently and raised his eyebrow somewhat once I described, albeit briefly, what happened in his room after the discussion.
Gary sat back and thought for a moment, obviously trying to process the information like I was.

“War?”

“Yes, Gary, war.”

“But...”

“He hasn’t told me any details yet, he was too upset.”

“Until you fixed that.” He replied with yet another smirk.

“Gary!”

“Well, did you make him feel better?”

“Yes, but...”

“So you did fix that.”

He paused before asking a question I never thought Gary would ask me.

“How far did you guys go?”

I stood there nonplussed at the question.

“I’m just wondering, Dan.”

“I didn’t expect you to ask anything like that!” I said, half laughing.

“Yeah, I suppose I do normally allow you to keep, private life just that, private.”

“Yes, and I don’t think Matt would like it if I started telling people what we got up to.”

“Fair enough...I’ll just ask him instead next time I see him!”

“Prick!”

We stood there laughing for a while before I sank into one of the chairs, the feelings of losing him starting to return.
Gary could see it in my face and he sat next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Listen mate, Matt doesn’t look like he has a choice. It’s not going to be just him fighting.”

“Yes, but every time I hear him in my head saying that word I feel like once he goes, I won’t ever see him again.”

“How much have you talked to him about this?”

“We didn’t have much time this morning. We’re meeting up later today.”

“He is going to be alright, an entire army will be with him, those...figures as you call them will also be there. Stress about it nearer the time. Focus on spending time together...making wonderful music together!”

“Gary!”

His response was to cackle and I punched him on the arm.

“Ok, ok. But how slow are you going to take things?”

“I don’t know, we stopped before anything ‘heavy’, as Matt put it, happened.”

“So it was just a make out session?” Gary asked.

I looked at him for a while before deciding to give him this information.

“Yes, I was about to undo his trousers when he stopped me.”

“I thought you weren’t giving me that information?” Gary smiled.

“I need someone to talk to about this Gary, everyone else I’ve been with have been more experienced than me or same experience. Matt is totally different.”

“Was what happened between you two comfortable?”

“Yes, it was wonderful and I would have liked to continue, but I can’t pressure Matt into anything.”

“No, you can’t. You’re his first boyfriend, he probably hasn’t done anything like this or if so not much. It was probably a leap of faith for him to do that make out session with you.”

“And we’ve only known each other a little while.”

“Exactly. Give it a little bit of time, Dan. You don’t need to rush. I’m guessing you’re going to talk about the whole, out or not at Uni thing?”

“Again, we’re talking about that later.”

“Like I said, slow things down, keep it at where it is. Let him know that he can initiate something if he wants things to go further.”

“Or let me know? He might not feel confident enough to just go for it?”

“Yeah, just let him know that when he’s ready you’re ready and not to make him feel like you’re just waiting for it.”

“Did he seem comfortable this morning, after what had happened?”

“Yes, he seemed happy.”

“Then he wants to be with you and trusts you Dan. Show him that trust by doing things at his pace for now.”

“I know Gary, Matt is the first person that I have felt an attraction to, not just the need to bed them.”

“New to you too then, eh?”

“Yes, you know how most of my relationships have worked out.”

Gary nodded.

“There was what happened with Owen...”

“I thought I told you never to say that ever again!” I hissed.

“Dan, look...”

“No, that will always haunt me; I wish I could take all of that back.”

“I’m sorry Dan. When was the last time you...”

“Before the start of University, a couple of weeks ago.”

He nodded.
And at that small gesture of understanding I started crying. I should have done this more, done this for him, for what I’d done, and what he’d done as a consequence.
Gary put his arm around me as I let these feelings out.

“Gary, do you think Owen would ever forgive me?”

“I don’t know Dan, and I’m afraid you can never find out.”

I just put my head in my hands as I tried to figure this all out. Gary seemed to know what I was thinking.

“Dan, you have matured and you are happy with who you are now, this is completely different to before, you want this.”

“Everything is so weird, I’m afraid of screwing up, Gary.”

“I’m sure that Matt would forgive you. Are you going to ever tell him about Owen?”

“Yes, I will tell him. When? I don’t know. I just feel like he has a right to know about me before he goes to war at least.”

“I think you should tell him much earlier than that.”

“Why?”

“If you wait and wait and then tell him it might dent his confidence in you more than if you admit to it early on. He can decide if he still wants to be with you as well.”

I looked at him sharply.

“What, Dan? You can’t expect him to be totally ok with it as soon as you tell him. This might upset him; he might want space to think on this.”

“I know, Gary. But I can’t bear the thought of him not wanting to be with me. The thought of him leaving me to go to war, but still being together is hard.”

“Well we won’t know until you tell him, will we?”

“I’m not telling him today.”

“I didn’t say you had to do it today.”

“Or should I tell him today?”

“Haven’t you got enough to be talking about tonight?”

That sentence from Gary brought me back to the whole idea of Matt going to war.

“I’m sorry, Dan.”

“No, it’s not your fault Gary.”

“It will be Matt’s turn to do the comforting tonight, eh?” Gary said gently.

“Looks like it.”

I looked at the clock.

“Time for me to go Gary, I need to get ready to go to Matt’s room.”

Even after our talk Gary still smirked at that comment and it made me smile.

“You know what I mean.”

“Oh yeah, I know alright.” He replied with a wink.

“You’re unbelievable sometimes.”

He just grinned.

“Thanks, Gary, for this talk.”

“Anytime mate.” He said as he pulled me in for a hug, which I returned.

I was walking to Matt’s place as I went over the conversation with Gary.
I knew I wanted to talk to him about him going to war, and where our relationship was going.
What I was so unsure of was about how to approach the subject of Owen.

No, that was wrong. I was unsure of his reaction, fearful of his reaction. I didn’t think I could take Matt rejecting me right now because of that.
I reached for the door to the quad that his flat was in and found it to be locked.
I looked over and saw that they had put in a new security system which meant using access cards to swipe to be let in.

I decided to try my own out just in case I was allowed as a student.
No luck. It must be just for those living in the accommodation, I thought.
I was about to call Matt to let me in when I saw one of Matt’s flatmates walking towards me, obviously back to the flat.

I had hoped this guy wasn’t in Matt’s flat, before I knew that he liked me.
He was as tall as me, with a slightly thicker build.
His shirt was stretched against his body and he walked, not with cockiness, but with a quiet confidence that was attractive.

“Hey!” I called out.

He waved back.

“Um sorry, I don’t know your name.” I said sheepishly once he was within earshot.

“Will.” The guy said, and he smiled as if he recognised me.

“Dan.” I said simply offered my hand, and Will took and shook my hand.

“Ah yes, Dan. I was wondering when we’d meet.”

I gave him a look.

“I hope you’ll look after him Dan, we all care for Matt. And we know about his abilities. Don’t hurt him Dan.”

“Are you warning me?” I asked annoyed.

“Well, Matt hasn’t got a big brother so I’m stepping in with the whole ‘don’t hurt him speech’.” And he gave me a wink.

I laughed.

“Hey, you wouldn’t mind letting me in, would you? I’d like to surprise Matt by walking in.”

“Sure. I’d love to see his face when you do.” Will smiled.

Will swiped his card and the door opened.
I walked in with him and he opened the main door to the flat.

“How is he?”

“See for yourself.” Will smiled and gestured upstairs.

I walked up the stairs to find Matt’s door propped open. I entered the room silently, gesturing at Will that I wanted to surprise him and he smiled.
I closed the door silently even though he had his headphones on and was reading a book on his bed, whilst lying on his stomach.
I crept up to his bed before tensing and leaping over him in order to straddle him.

“What the fuck?!” Matt cried before I kissed the back of his neck.

I kept kissing his neck whilst he was trying to take his headphones out.

“Dan!” I heard him giggle as I slowly slid my hands under his shirt onto his back.

I felt him relax and then I surprised him by quickly shifting my hands to his sides and starting to tickle him.

“Bastard!” He said whilst laughing, trying to squirm away, but he couldn’t move as I was straddling him.

He just kept giggling as I tickled him mercilessly, him shouting the odd expletive along the way.

“Please!” He pleaded. He was getting breathless.

I flipped him over as I moved off him and pulled him in for a deep kiss instead.

He moaned slightly.

After he caught his breath he said with a smirk “You could have tapped my shoulder instead.”

“Oh but that was so much more fun.” I said with a wink and before he knew it I was under his shirt again, but this time attacking his belly.

“Please!” Matt cried.

But I only laughed and continued, to Matt’s despair.
Matt was crying with laughter, whilst trying to squirm and begging me to stop.

“Do you want me to stop, Matt?” I asked innocently.

“Yes!” he answered quickly through giggles.

“What do you say?” I said, relishing this.

“Dan!”

“What do you say?”

“Please!”

I gradually started to slow down and stop.

“Thanks.” Matt said as I gently rubbed his torso.

I removed my hands and gently cupped his face and kissed him.
He kissed me back, whilst pulling me down on top of him.
He rolled us over so he was on top of me. The glint in his eye told me what he was going to do.

“Don’t you dare...” But before I could do anything Matt’s hands were under my shirt this time and the roles were reversed.

I was the one squirming as I felt his hands glide over me, tickling me.
But this was turning me on, his hands all over me, him straddling me, a wicked glint in his eye.

“Kiss me instead, Matt.” I said huskily.

He looked at me and then nodded, making sure now that his hands didn’t tickle me when they slid over my skin.
He raised an eyebrow when he felt my erection, even through the layers, behind him.
I dragged him down and pulled him into a kiss, which he immediately deepened. The speed with which he did so made me gasp.

He pulled back.

“Did I do something wrong?” Matt said, a look of concern on his face.

“Absolutely not.” I replied a reassuring smile on my face. “You took me by surprise that’s all.”

“Ok.” He said before slowly lowering his head so I could kiss him.

We lay there for a while slowly kissing, sweet tender kisses, each of us cupping the others face, gently stroking the cheeks with our thumbs.
I broke the contact.

“Matt, before we get too into this, we need to talk.”

He looked at me for a few seconds before nodding. He lifted himself off me and instead lay next to me, his head resting on my chest.
I placed my hand on his chest and gently rubbed; even with a shirt on Matt liked this and closed his eyes.

“I hope you don’t think I’m leading you on, Dan.” Matt started.

I let him continue.

“I mean, I would like to go further with you, I want you to be my first, I know you’ll be gentle. But I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Matt, like I said, I would like to go further as well and I’ll admit I am ready for that. But I know you’re not and I want you to want it as well before anything else happens.”

“So you’re not angry we keep doing this and then stop at the making out bit?” he said and I could sense he was blushing slightly.

I moved us so that we were lying on our sides facing each other; I placed a gentle kiss on his lips and started stroking the side of his face.

“Matt, I’m not angry at all, it just makes me horny as hell!...” And we both chuckled at that.

“...but not angry.” Matt seemed to relax at this.

“So you believe me when I say that I do want to go all the way with you, but it will take me time?”

“Yes, I believe you Matt, and I’m flattered you want me to be your first.”

Matt moved in closer to me and we held each other.

“There is one thing that is bugging me though.” I said.

Matt looked up.

“I don’t want you to go to this war.” I could feel myself welling up.

Matt made soothing sounds as he held me tighter.

“Dan, I’m afraid I can’t opt out of this; you will have to be strong. It won’t be for long. Seers have predicted a battlefield where the war will be lost or won. I am only needed for that battle; the rest is up to the army.”

“But you might die!” I cried.

I felt Matt’s presence in my mind but I didn’t care. It felt like a warm blanket had been put around my thoughts, comforting me.

“Dan, I won’t be gone long. And only one individual on the enemy’s side has any hope of besting me.”

“The general?”

“For lack of a better name.”

“You will have to duel him?”

“Perhaps.”

“So there is a chance you might...”

“Dan, don’t think like that. I will come back to you and I will fall into your arms and you into mine.”

“You’re such a romantic.” I teased, trying to lighten the topic.

Matt’s reply was a soft kiss.
I moved my hand down his back until it rested on his arse.
I stopped knowing Matt didn’t want things to escalate quickly.

“Don’t worry Dan, that’s fine.” Matt smiled.

I smiled back and squeezed slightly, which earned me an appreciative smirk.

“How big is this army?”

“Our army or the enemy’s?

“Both.”

“They outnumber us two maybe three to one. But we are stronger individually.”

“I don’t want to lose you Matt.”

“You won’t Dan, trust me.”

We just held each other for a few minutes before I brought up the topic of ‘us’.

“Do you want to be public about this Matt?”

“My first reaction is no, but...”

I stroked his arm in reassurance.

“I wanted to be out at university, I wanted to make a new start. If I want to be true to that, being public with our relationship is what we should do. I think you’d like to be public with this as well?”

“Public as in university Matt, I don’t think we could get away with holding hands in the high street.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Being together on the campus is better than nothing though.” I smiled.

“Yeah, I’m surprised how quickly we agreed on that.”

“Great minds... and all that.” I replied, which earned me a giggle from him.

“So, we are both in agreement to be open at university about us?” He asked, more to reassure himself than anything.

“Yes, I’m happy with us being public on campus.” I said and he smiled.

“Anyway, let’s not dwell on this.” He said.

“Oh?” I said feigning ignorance, knowing what he wanted.

He removed my shirt then his own and I rolled him onto his back whilst I propped myself up on my forearm and leaned over to him.

“Promise you won’t leave me?” I asked, the thought of war quickly entering my head once again.

“Promise you won’t keep worrying?” was his reply.

We nodded at the same time.

I put all thoughts of war to the back of my head as I leaned down and kissed Matt.
He ran his hands up the side of my face into my hair.
I used my free hand to stroke his chest, letting his chest hair run through my fingers, before letting my fingers linger gently on one of his nipples.
Matt sighed against my lips as I gently played with it, all the time keeping the kissing tender.

I was content with this, Matt was happy with this. I felt his hand travel to my arse and gave it a squeeze which earned him an ‘hmmm’ from me in thanks.
We stayed like this, slowly kissing, letting our hands drift slowly across each other...

I was staying over again. This time I had brought a sleeping bag as the bed was too small realistically for two people.
I missed Matt’s presence against my body.
And I thought back to the conversation with Gary. I wanted to keep Matt; I didn’t want to risk him leaving me.
Yet I knew he had to know, maybe he could even help me, if he forgave me.

It took me a while to get to sleep, thoughts whizzing through my head, the images of Owen...
I would have to tell him.

Tell him soon.