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Will Hawkins

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    Mata Atlantica, Brazil

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  1. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 12

    “And whom is he loving?" Is is a to be verb and requires a 'predicate nomnative', not an objecive case pronoun. The phrase should read, "And who is he loving?"
  2. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 6

    The use of languages in this chapter is interesting — Granger is in a Spanish port and conversing with a Spanish nobleman, but both the Spaniard and he choose to converse in French, the language of their mutual enemy.
  3. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 25

    The use of maggots to debride a festering wound has been an approved medical practice in the past which is coming again into favor – it has been determined to be a most efficient process as the maggots will not harm healthy flesh in the process of removing ALL of the infection. It may sound uckey, but it has been used successfully for thousands of years (even by the Egyptians and Romans). In these days, hospitals even raise maggots under sterile conditions to perform the service. Mr Will
  4. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 2

    'The peel of the bosun's whistle' — The peal of the bosun's whistle. Peal in this case implies a sound like that of a bell…. peel is the skin of a vegetable or fruit I realize that the Bridgemont Series has been posted for several years and am surprised that none of your fsithful readers has remarked about this homophone previously. But then I am famous for being an old troll when it comes to homophones. And Spell-Check programs are just as famous about substituting the wrong word in their corrections. However, if you do not wish to make amendments at this interval, I will cease my comments, I have a great deal of respect for your 'story-telling' abilities, sir, and would not want you to become exercised over my suggestions.
  5. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 53

    I can well understand the anger of the new Tsar when he asks specifically for a list of prisoners in the 'Secret Room' knowing that there is a British Nobelman interred there and that man's name does not appear on the list. Were I the Tsar and had his unlimited power over even life and death, there would be a few heads rolling. The Tsar would be wise to have a faithful Aide tour the Secret Room and create a more correct list of those interred therin. The may be (are probably) others that need to once again have their freedom. if for no other reason than the insanity of the deceased Tsar. It looks to me likr time to 'clean house'. The manner in which Bantu has been mutilated turns my stomach, but I suppose it is typical of the time and place. In an age when very few persons of the servent classes could write, it is certainly a way to ensure secrecy. but it is only one step away from burning at the stake or crucifixion in my mind.
  6. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 53

    Well, your loyal readers now settle down into their chairs for another two week's nap, At this point, if I were the Tsar, I would be beside myself in anger. There is an old expression, "Heads will roll." I think a few heads should roll among the Russian Officer Corps at this point. Your normal excellent pacing and story line, Mark, but I am still somewhat concerned about your health,,, How are you feeling? No, that is a ridiculouse qustion, better I should ask, are you well? Please take as good care of yourself as possible at this time, when the human body is being attacked from every direction. Mr Will
  7. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 1

    "Sliding down the braces," In my limited knowlege of sailing ship terminology, the 'braces' are latge diameter ropes, leading diagonally at about a 45º slope, from the tops (the point where the 'mainmast' joins onto the foremast or the mizzen, fastenes to the base of the mainmast) to loop around and be fastened securely to the base of the next mast aft. This, to prevent the force of the wind against the sails from breaking a mast. To slide down a brace would require a cloth to be looped over the brace, perhaps several times, with a person holding onto the two ends hanging below the brace, then shoving off the 'top' and sliding, on the diagonal, down the brace. That to do this is considered risky in the extreme, as there is no means of controing the speed of the descent. An alternate method being to wrap the rag about the brace, perhaps several times then using a tight grip on the knot to slow the descent. The danger, in this case, coming from the heat of friction of the loop upon the brace. The alternative and much less hazardous method of descent being, clambering down the ratines as if they were a ladder.
  8. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 3

    would be the sight for the needle---would be the would be the site for the needle
  9. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 2

    There is one time you use the preposition 'at' where it is not required, and that makes the sentence awkward sounding: 'Where is your husband at tonight'…. Mia winged at me for what felt like the sixtieth time Did you mean 'whined'? Both examples, not really faults, just places you could improve your writing.
  10. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 1

    Nope. not American – 'Lounge Room' gave you away! Bit superior writing, good characterization anf excellent pacing. It is great to see a GA story that has been editied by a person who knows what he is doing. Your editor has left the Britishisms alone, and that is great, and NO grammatical errors …. that is a miracle. Keep ip the good work! Mr Will
  11. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 50

    In my innocence as a young lad, when I read the stories of history I thought they were factual. Then I looked a little deeper, especially in the descriptions by English authors contrasted with the stories by American authors in describing the events of the War of 1812. They wrote about two different wars! When I asked my history teacher about the differences, he clarified the situation by saying, "The history of a war is always written by the winner."
  12. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 41

    I have been living in the Brazilian 'outback', in Bahia, since 2008 and I doubt that I have worn ANY foot coverings in that time. I was very fortunate as a child of about 8, to be treated for my absolutely pancake feet by another expatriate, a German Jewish Orthopedist, who escaped by a hair from the Nazis to run a practice from his living room in 'smalltown' (Elmira) New York. My mother first took me to military doctors and all they could recommend was surgery. Fortunately mother had an aversion to cutting and discovered (through the advice of friends) this Orthopedist (I am sorry to have forgotten his name, but I bless his memory). He prescribed specially modified shoes, with wedges and interior padding, and a series of foot exercises, that I was browbeaten into performing every day for a number of years, but left me with perfect arches for the remainder of my life. I now am totally comfortable being barefoot 24hrs a day (when in the village while shopping, as well) and my soles have toughened up so that even walking on hot sidewalks (this IS a country near the equator!!!) does not bother me.
  13. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 39

    George, of course, will have to be involved in the change of the regime in Russia. He is repeatedly a part of the patterns of history, patterns that weave in and out like a spider's web. Just remember, George, when you are up to your balls in the ass of the Tsarevich, 'Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely' and there is no power more absolute than that of a Tsar of Russia in the Nineteeth Century, especially one who has just killed his father. As an amature student of European history, it is interesting to me what a high percentage of rulers suffered from some form of insanity or another. Because medical science now understands that the inbreeding taking place at that time was a primary cause of that 'folie de tete' (madness), one would think that finally in this Twenty-first Century, we could avoid that hereditary disease, but then we elect a President….
  14. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 33

    While Winkler may be a Deus ex Machina to an author, as a character to whom things. and events are explained, to the reader he becomes a real person and there is indeed a strong and very reasonable relationship between him and George.
  15. As I understand the story so far, Adam has gone through his first cycle, changing into a bear complete with claws, fur and huge size, then back into human form but keeping a lot of his bear size. Interesting start. I will be following along chapter by chapter.
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