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Will Hawkins

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2,695 Is My Ego Showing?

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About Will Hawkins

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    Mata Atlantica, Brazil

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  1. Will Hawkins

    Weird Day

    Excelent charactrization of the three principals. I have a feeling that Po is going to turn out to be somewhat more professional that he was made to appear in this chapter – he started to assume another face in the final paragraphs. Mason is the consumate professional minder, but I feel he will loosen up as the story progresses. His first reaction to the ghost shows he can be touched, and as well by the music, that is a little crack in his professionalism. And Rhys, well, he fits his character quite well, but he is going to challanged/intrigued by Mason. As to the ghost, we are going to have to be a little patient until he is developed a bit more. Altogether a fascinating start to a tale. Mister Will
  2. Will Hawkins

    Cat Food

    One of the advantages of reading a story long afterit was first published is not being aware of gaps in the posting schedule. All the chapters are available for reading at any time I need them. Mister Will
  3. Will Hawkins


    Jordan sweeps up the pieces of a broken bowl, lamenting the fact that it was 'his best bowl', but later washes the bowl and puts it away. You had better check up on your timing here. . . perhaps to just erase the line about 'washing the bowl' would remove the problem. Mister Will
  4. Twatapotimus? Really? Definition please.
  5. You are a fantasticly creative author and I will enjoy this second book in the Barnstable Series just as much as I did the first. There are a couple of errors in grammar, but I as able to read through them. An Editor should have caught them but your pacing and charactizations are right on. Keep up the good work. Mister Will
  6. This was definitly a tearjerker chapter – it is so good to see someone who is very ill or badly injured reach a stage of recovery. Mister Will
  7. Will Hawkins


    Yes, Cam's references to 'Baby' are a little confusing, but the three-way love expressed in these chapters is very uplifting. Now to see what the newest 'Stitcher' has to add to the tale. . . Mister Will
  8. I am still confusd as to how Eli's mom could be pregers when there was an emphasis in the Introduction that on Prom Night both females had been on the pill for two weeks. Is this just because 'the pill' is not a perfect PG control? I just went back to check up on my memory about the 'been on the pill for the last two weeks' and, yep, I was right.The girls announced that on Prom Night. I think it is great the little Eli enters the story, but it must be of divine conception!
  9. The girls have been on the pill for the last two weeks – so how is a baby going to come from this liaison? Well, Will, read on!
  10. I think that Cam had best get that Gay Pass laminated in plastic as it is going to get a lot of use this summer! Mister Will
  11. I think that Cam Jr. knows more than Cam about who is and who is not gay. Our parts have a way of giving away secrets about us that we may not want other people to know – or do we really want them to know? Mister Will
  12. Will Hawkins

    Chapter 4

    I am really not familiar with the characterizations you use in these chapters, but I am fascinated with them nonetheless. Your sense of timing is superbe and adds to the enjoyment of the story. Keep up the good work! Mister Will
  13. In ancient history the Romans had raised the 'art' of crucufixion to a high level. The artists of the Renaissance frequenty erred , because they were not familiar with 'death by crucufixion' in showing the placement of the scars in their representations of the victims of cricifixions. A nail through the palm of each hand and another thru the sole of the foot would not be enough to support the body of a full-grown man on a cross. Therefore, based on extensive experience, the Romans would place one nail in each wrist and a third nail through the ankles of the two feet held togeter, into the wood of the cross. This means that the Renaissance paintings of the marks on a crucified man would be shown in the wrong places – they should be shown above heel of the foot and into the wrist of the arms where the two arm bones join together. These three sites have been shown time and time again in the exhumed bones of crucified Roman criminals. But even knowing this, painters have continued to show wounds in the sole of the foot and in the palm of the hand, because that is the 'convential' location for the nails to be placed. There is even the skeletal remains of a crucified crimininal from Roman times with the nail still penetrating the ankle above the joint to the foot as evidence of where the nails were normally placed. Though, because of the value and scarcity of 'iro' in ancient times, most frequently the three nails used in s crucifixion would be removed and saved for the next victim. The Biblical tales of the resurected Christ showing the deciples the marks of his crucifixion in the palms of his hands and the tops of his feet, has continued this error through the centuries.
  14. It is apparent that Benedict is a good man, a loving husband and a caring father for his two children. As readers we are aware that the help of the Stray Dogs is on the way. It is my hope that this help reaches this town in time to overcome the ravages of the Scarlet Church. Mister Will
  15. Will Hawkins

    Ford Ch 3

    I find it interesting that several words in this chapter are spelled in a somewhat different fashion than I would expect: the holy table at the front of a church spelled as 'alter' rather than 'altar', and the word I would expect to be spelled as 'though', rather than 'thou' as it is here. I am NOT saying these are errors, perhaps just a local way of spelling words differently from what I would expect. I will be interested in the contents of the family crypt, located beneath the floor. Misterwill
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