by Lugh
standard disclaimers apply
to this modern day faery tale
dream on... it could happen!

Five year old Zachariah leaned against the pole that held up the chain-link fence around the playground at his elementary school. He was currently doing time for something a classmate claimed he had done. He might have. He didn't really remember. He had been distracted at the time. However, that day, he was glad he was there, in that spot, at that time, for a crime he could not remember. For today he saw HIM.

He was taller than the other boys, much taller than Zachariah and dark in a most fascinating way. His hair was black like a raven's wing - so dark it hinted blue in the late spring sunshine. His eyebrows were thick smudges over his eyes which Zachariah just knew had to be the color of wood or coffee or thick, rich, chocolate. The boy smiled as a girl walked up to him. She was light -- all blonds and blues, with her hair pulled back into a pony tail so long that the tip still brushed her waist as she walked. She was older than Zachariah, but younger than Darkness; and she lit up both of their worlds as she stood next to Darkness.

Zachariah felt his skin tingle and he knew he would stand between the darkness and the light at some time in his future. He leaned his head on the pole and breathed the words in and out as he spoke them, "Dark and light, day and night." Zachariah trembled as this new realization did make him want certain things in his life and one of those things happened to be Darkness and Light. He wanted to bask in them both.

So strong was the need then that he whimpered, clinging to the fence, like some caged animal bound indeed to one side while freedom and beauty waited for him on the other side. His hands wrapped themselves so tightly around the chain-link he did not feel the tiny steel barbs as they pierced his palms and dug their way down toward the bone. No one saw the droplets of blood as they splashed the bare earth along with the tears which were now freely falling, rolling down the injured hands.

He wept in silence.

The teacher approached each child along the fence to determine if they had learned their lesson and upon reaching Zachariah she muttered, "Bloody hell," under her breath.

"What have you been out here doing Zach?"

"My hands hurt Miss."

"I can imagine they do. Guess we should get you down to the nurses' station for a bit of a look-see?"

"Might make Mum feel better considering all the other notes she gets about me."

"All right then. I'll just have to get you an escort." The teacher pulled his hands loose and saw the wounds were not deep, nor deadly, so she waved the nearest young lady over she saw, a fifth grader by the name of Rachael.

"He needs to see the nurse. Do you think you can take him there?"

Rachael looked over to where Deus was waiting on her.

"Your friend can walk too, but only if it will get him there quickly."

Together they walked down the hall: Darkness, then Light, then Zach. Then Light would say something to Darkness and he would laugh and move over to the far end and walk near Zach for a bit. Zach thought his face was going to hurt from smiling so much. He felt right, perfect and his hands didn't itch. When they reached the nurse's station, Deus told Rachael to fill the nurse in with what she was told and he would settle the kid in the back.

Once they were behind the curtain Zach looked Deus in the eye, "Do you feel it?"

Deus nodded, a bit confused, but then it seemed as if clarity bowed up with a pair of pink lips and sucked his life away. Zach was kissing him.

"We can't do this here," Deus protested, his snarls softened by gentle touches and a soft caress. He didn't understand his own sudden, ferocious need to protect this boy and it scared him. He knew what boys who kissed boys were called. How they were treated. "I'll come for you, when it's safe."

"When it's safe, then," Zach repeated, "I'll wait for you." Zach smiled then fainted into Deus' arms. Deus laid him on the bed and backed away slowly. The words I'll come for you were echoing like a promise in his mind.

---

Deus stood over the smaller boy for a few moments then he went back out to the front and told the nurse the youngster had lost consciousness. She immediately dismissed the pair and went about tending Zach. A little while later Zach's grandmother arrived to pick up the boy.

---

Zach's grandma was none too pleased about closing up shop early, but she dutifully went anyway. His hands were wrapped in bandages and it appeared he had been given something for pain although the nurse had not mentioned doing so. No one was quite sure what happened to his hands or why.

At his grandmother's house Zachariah felt sick. So sick he vomited. His grandmother tut-tutted, cleaned up the mess, and then called Zach's mother to come get him now, he was sicker than the school said. It was as she was hanging up the phone that Zach's great-grandmother tottered through her bedroom wall as if it were not there, to stand in the middle of the coffee table and look him over.

"So that's it then," She said in a raspy old-woman voice, "the 'foretold of daughter' is a boy, and now he..."

"It was a possibility," Zach's grandmother said.

"Should we tell her?"

"She's a null. Considering came home with him from college, his father's most likely a null. Who would believe him to be anything other than a null?"

"That is definitely not null."

"I know."

Zach's mother arrived as soon as she could. By that time Zach had fallen asleep amid a pile of papers that he had drawn with images of people he had never met. They were crude by adult standards; in the medium of crayon and marker, but for a young child they were extraordinary. The details were easy to pick out and each person was an individual who could be easily recognized; especially one near the bottom of the boy's great-grandmother who lived in this house before his grandmother inherited it just weeks prior to his birth - she was standing over the couch, in the middle of the coffee table, looking down on him, and frowning.

He didn't understand why he had become so ill in his grandmother's home; he had been there hundreds of times before. Nor did he understand why his head hurt so bad that his grandmother gave him something to make him sleep. He woke to angry whispers and controlled yelling around him. But worst of all, he woke to his mother's tears.

"He is. There were complications. I can't have any more. He will have no sister," She sniffled. "I can't do this right now. I thought I could, but I can't. We're leaving. I'm taking him away from here. Far away."

"He's not a null. He won't be happy anywhere else."

"He will learn to be happy," his mother told his grandmother as they left. Zachariah cried all the way home. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to go back there. Even the thought made him ill.

He didn't go back to school the next day and three days later movers came to pack up the house into a rental truck. As they were leaving town Zachariah looked out the window of the car and he saw them walking down the street - Darkness and Light. They looked up and he looked back - that was his last memory of his childhood hometown.

---

It didn't take long for Zachariah's mother to find a good job in a big city. It was in a different state, far away from Darkness. She didn't understand why Zachariah didn't want to leave the town he grew up in. Nor did she understand when he didn't make friends. It wasn't as if he had a lot of friends in his old hometown either. There hadn't been many things for him to do there either, but here, she told him, there were opportunities. Zach didn't want opportunities. He preferred the small town, his hands didn't itch so much there and his head didn't hurt so much. Now he just wanted to draw all the time and so he did. Notebook after notebook of pencil sketches, many of them featuring Darkness, but quite a few of them featured people he didn't know, would never know. He missed his grandma too, and in a weird way, the people who walked through the walls at her house.

He refused to speak to his mother most of the time unless she spoke directly to him first, then he answered the question only. She thought he was sulking and engaged him in various activities that were age appropriate. He participated during the allotted time, but it was as if he were playing a role for her, that of the dutiful son. However, whenever the activity was over, he then went back to his notebooks. She looked through his notebooks and recognized one face that repeated through the crowd of faces and she worried.

Through it all, Zach grew up.

His mother still heard it all the time from his teachers: Zachariah is a very bright boy, but he needs to apply himself more; Zachariah's grades would be better if he would pay more attention in class; Zachariah seems very unfocused; and other such comments. But Zach was focused, he was very focused and he poured that focus into his sketchbooks. The school had him tested for cognitive learning issues and discovered he had none. He was not autistic nor mentally impaired.

During this time his mother started dating, became engaged, got married, and joined houses, homes, and hearths with a man who was two years older than herself but who had a daughter the same age as Zach. They were in the same grade in school. Zach never seemed to notice the new place sittings at the table, the new voices in the house, or the new life that seemed to be creeping up around him. He took the classes offered at school, did his homework enough he didn't fail outright, and scraped by with mediocre grades. While other students spent time in enrichment courses, he spent time with tutors in study hall. When they were doing inter-mural sports, he had detention. It seemed nothing would break the downward spiral. Then came eighth grade and visual arts. The course was mandatory for every student not previously enrolled in a creative course. On the first day the teacher welcomed the twenty or so students into his classroom. Zachariah took a deep breath as he crossed the threshold and he sighed. He looked at his classmates and took a seat in the back of the class. He had never been in a class with any of them. The teacher took roll, and then started to explain the rules, or that is what Zach thought he was doing. It's what most teachers did on the first day of class. He had already opened his sketchbook and started drawing.

"Nice image," the art teacher said from behind him.

Zach blushed. It was a picture he started that morning of Darkness sprawled naked across a huge four poster bed, a sheet covered his groin, barely, and beside him lay Light, her face hidden by her golden hair. Darkness looking at him, wanting him, needing him.

"Someone you know?"

"Knew," the word came out a little louder than a whisper.

The teacher made a noncommittal noise and picked up the sketch book, "Do you mind?"

Zachariah stared at him wide-eyed, but managed to shake his head. No one outside of his family had ever looked inside. The teacher made a few more noises and a face or two.

"Are these people you know?"

"Some of them."

"Ever draw object, like flowers?"

Zach shook his head.

"I want you to try, right now, this flower here." The teacher moved the daisy in a bud vase that was on the table over in front of Zach along with some supplies. "On this paper, using these pencils. You have, oh, twenty minutes."

Zach just nodded as the teacher walked away with his sketch pad. The other students were busy drawing their daisies, so Zach began. About twenty minutes later the students were instructed to stop and clean up their areas. A few minutes later, the bell rang. Students filed out placing their drawings in a bin next to the teacher's desk and heading off to lunch. Zach was last.

"I don't think you belong in this art class," the teacher said as Zach placed his drawing on top of the pile.

"But..." Zachariah began and was cut off.

"I think you belong in the more advanced class. It meets at a different time. How do you feel about changing classes?"

"They won't let me."

"Any particular reason?"

"I've not been the best student academically."

"But you can do better," the teacher stated firmly, "to learn how to harness this?" He handed Zach back his sketchbook.

"I can do better," Zach agreed.

"See that you do," the teacher smiled. "Not many young men are given this opportunity."

"Yes sir," Zach looked at the sketchbook and swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat and in that moment he wondered how Darkness and Light were doing, what he was doing. His heart ached as he imagined the two of them together - without him.

---

Zach swore whomever built schools made the office areas with soundproof walls just to annoy him. The door to the guidance councilor's office was closed. It had a little name plate outside it that read Ms. Macy. And as far as Zach was concerned, she was the meanest person in the building. He had been sitting outside her door for a while now. The art teacher, Mr. Reynolds, had gone in. So had the assistant principal and one of the tutors who had worked with him last year. Zach was beginning to get nervous, but it got serious when his mother showed up. At least she smiled at him. He knew he had screwed up royally the past couple years and had been rather lazy in his studies. And he knew he had gotten worse when they took away art the year he transferred up to the junior high. But just being in the art room for the single bell proved to him that he didn't want to live without art anymore and he knew he would just about anything they asked of him to take the higher level course, even if that meant studying hard.

After what seemed like hours, although according to the clock was only a few minutes, the door opened and Ms. Macy motioned for him to come in.

"I understand from Mr. Reynolds that you are an exceptional artist and he seems to think that you should be allowed into the advanced art class. Your mother seems to think it may be good for you and Mr. Laughlin thinks you are capable of the workload with support. Is this something you would like to do?"

Zach nodded. Ms. Macy intimidated him.

"Well do you or do you not?"

Mr. Reynolds looked at him expectantly as Ms. Macy asked the question.

"I do."

Ms. Macy snorted and pulled out a piece of paper, "You have to maintain your grades at no less than a 2.5 GPA at the end of each quarter to stay in the program. All your classes will change. This program is not an easy one, Zachariah. You will have to move to Algebra. It's required for the program."

"I can do it."

Ms. Macy sighed then handed him his new schedule. "Might as well start now. Here is a pass."

Zachariah looked down at the schedule in his hands. He had English and Science on even days and Algebra and History on odd days before lunch then study hall during 'lunch block' with art after lunch every day. "I don't have gym and I get art every day?"

"Do you need gym?" Ms. Macy asked, "Or study hall?"

"Study hall," he replied quickly, "I can exercise when I have time."

"Go eat, then go back to the art room, it will be nearly time for class," Mr. Reynolds told him as they stepped out of the guidance councilor's office.

Zach nodded then turned to his mother and gave her a hug. "Thank you," he whispered near her ear.

"Don't thank me. Those new classes are going to be a challenge. If you need any help, you let me or someone here know immediately."

"Yes ma'am," Zach said.

"Now go eat, I have to get back to work. I'll see you when you get home this evening."

"Yes ma'am." Zach headed down to the cafeteria, and fifteen minutes later he was headed to the art room. When he arrived there were five other students spread out in the room, all of them looked so different from each other. Zach smiled to himself; these were the 'artists'.

"Ok ladies and gentlemen, I know the program started two weeks ago, and you all sacrificed part of your summer to take part, but you know that big screening we do for all the kids that get missed, well we found one today and the program has agreed to take him. So I need you all to take a care that he gets where he needs to go and gets back in time and caught up in his classwork. Two weeks is a lot to miss and have to catch up on. Can I count on all of you?"

There were several nods around the room and Mr. Reynolds grinned, "Well then off with you lot."

The other students began to file out and Zach looked a bit bewildered. "Don't worry Zach; they will take care of you."

Zach nodded and followed, clutching his pack. They walked to the end of the hall and exited the building to where a short bus was waiting with a few other students who were not from the art room. They climbed on, took seats and then took off.

"Where are we going?" Zach asked the boy sitting next to him.

"You mean you don't know?"

Zach shook his head.

"We take classes at the university."

Zach's stomach flip-flopped.

---

Zach's parents could not believe the difference in their son after he started taking the special art classes. He began to study and his grades came up. He applied himself, and he drew. Over Christmas break his art was in a show, it wasn't a big show, or an important one, all the public school kids who took art at the university were in it. His painting received an honorable mention.

When he left junior high to go to high school, he was on the honor roll. The art department was expecting him, and he was already scheduled to attend the university again, only this time he would be taking art theory classes along with studio art.

In two different art shows that year Zach's paintings of Darkness won ribbons. He painted other things when he was asked but if given no particular image to draw, his mind always drifted back to Darkness, his hometown, and the others he was forced to leave behind.

Some of the other kids thought he was weird, weirder than the usual artsy weird. Rumors began to spread that he was queer. Zach did nothing to stop the rumors; he just ignored them. However, he did start drawing more images of Light.

It was fall of his sophomore year that the art teacher pulled him aside and asked him to paint a series, for a show. They would need to be done by the middle of the spring semester. Zach agreed, and he painted his heart out.

By this time, his parents had given up any hope that Zach would be anything other than an artist. They worried about him making a living, supporting a family and the normal things parents worry over their children about.

But Zach wasn't worried. He knew he could make it. His grades had never been better. They were so good in fact that he had been taking honors classes since starting high school, and signed up for AP classes for his junior year. However, his in the summer between his sophomore and junior year he was given a surprise. He was asked to take part in a pilot program for talented students. He would sign up for the classes at the high school, but he would actually take the class at the university. He was driving now, and working a part-time job at an art studio teaching little kids how to sculpt at night. His parents weren't sure that the program would be good for him, that it would be too strenuous, but he wanted to do it. He had pulled it off before, when he had nearly failed the seventh grade. They decided to let him.

University started a full two weeks before high school. He still lived at home, being only sixteen. His classes were typical of most college freshmen: history, composition, biology, gym, and art. Only he was not placed in "art survey" like most freshmen; he was placed in studio art. He had pictures on display in the student's gallery. The first semester went well; he passed all his classes with at least 3.0s, which made him eligible to take his second semester. He did well again, making the dean's list, although his designation was "dual enrolled".

Then when he was seventeen he discovered he was a high school graduate and a college sophomore. He had earned a full ride at the university. He could live in the dorms. He put in his dorm request -- non-smoker, with good study habits, preferably an honor student, gay-friendly. He added the last after his parents signed the form. Zach wasn't sure if he was gay. He wasn't sure if he was straight. He wanted to be able to find out. He would turn eighteen over spring break and it would be legal for him to discover things about himself that he had kept repressed.

---

Amadeus gasped as the little boy fainted in his arms. He didn't know what had possessed him to allow a boy to kiss him, but not only that, Deus had told the kid he would come for him when it was safe. He had never lied to anyone in his life. It hadn't felt like a lie. It had felt... right. Half frightened and half exhilarated, Amadeus left the nurse's office and the beautiful boy. His time was nearly done here anyway and he would soon be moving up to Junior High. Rachael, his betrothed, followed him out.

Most people thought they were joking when they said it, but they were not. Amadeus' father had contracted with Rachael's father when Rachael was an infant. They went as far as to place her in Amadeus' arms and have him pledge to her. Some people thought he didn't understand what he was saying, but he did. She was his and he was hers. They had planned on having a ceremony after she became a woman, only now... Amadeus' thoughts went back to that promise. He would have to talk to Rachael about it; maybe she could get to know the boy next year. Maybe they could make it work, the three of them. He looked back toward the school and sighed.

"What happened Deus?" Rachael asked.

"The boy, he fainted."

"And that frightened you?"

"No."

"So what happened?"

Deus shrugged. "I don't know. It was just weird, you know."

"Yeah, he seems to be a rather strange boy."

Deus declined to respond to her. Instead he held her hand and walked her back to class. Then he too went to class.

Later that evening, his father cornered him as they were having dinner with Rachael and her family.

"Have you given any thought as to what you want to take as your elective at the junior high next year, Amadeus?"

"Languages. You know they come easily to me."

His papa laughed and agreed that languages would be a good choice for his son. "And you Rachael, what do you think of Amadeus going to a different school than you for two years?"

"I think that none of the girls will turn his eyes, and he will be working hard to make good grades so that he can go to college and support our family."

Rachael's papa nodded. They all agreed that Amadeus would be a good provider. His inheritance would guarantee that if nothing else as would the dowry he would receive for marrying Rachael as it was the custom of the families in their town to betroth their children young and pay large dowries to the young men for honoring their father's word.

Life carried on for Amadeus and Rachael, moving them forward toward the day he would have to honor one vow or another and the stress was tearing him apart. It wasn't so much that he made the promise as it was the belief in the boy's eyes when he said it. Those eyes and that sweet innocent kiss haunted his dreams at night, so much so that when he was alone, it wasn't always Rachael he thought of during his most private moments.

Rachael had told Amadeus she looked for the boy when she was asked, but her attempts were halfhearted at best. There was something about him that caused her to want to stand up straighter and poke her breasts out more while squeezing her bum tight and shaking it as she walked. And yet, she couldn't stand to see the little kid cry from pain. It was only a few days after they had taken him to the nurse's office they saw him in a moving van and her feeble search attempts were over. The boy looked so sad in the window as he waved. From all the stuff he had with him, it looked as if the family were never coming back. Deus was shocked. The boy was leaving. He might never see him again. How was he supposed to keep his promise? And what about his promise to Rachael? The conflicting promises haunted him all through the rest of his school years. He poured his anguish into his studies and at the end of his junior year he had several early offers to choose from.

He picked one in a nearby state, not too far away, but far enough away for him to do some thinking. Under pressure from both of their families, he and Rachael had a commitment ceremony when she became a woman. He agreed to abide by their betrothal contract after college. He agreed to love her, to cherish her, to provide for her -- and he did and would. But he couldn't get the face of the boy out of his dreams. The face had grown as he had, filling out, becoming more adult, but he was still waiting. He told Rachael this, and she said she understood but Deus sometimes got the feeling she was just saying it to make him happy. Together they decided that maybe Amadeus was bi-sexual and that maybe he needed to take his college years to discover this about himself. He would need to decide if he would honor the contract between their families or if he would just walk away. She would let him walk away if he didn't love her, couldn't cherish her... it was only the right thing to do. Or at least so she said.

Amadeus received his dorm placement. It was exactly what he asked for: non-smoker, honor student, gay-friendly. They had placed him in the freshman dorms. He couldn't wait to move in. The only problem he could see was this little thing about a work-study program. They sent him a listing of things to choose from. There was nothing available in his major, so he just wrote numbers down at random, marking his choices. Something had to be interesting.

Of course that meant that life would be interesting for Amadeus. He ended up modeling in the art department, nude, and playing secretary to various deans over his four years of college. Rachael started college his junior year, and they decided that he would finish getting his Masters while she worked on her Bachelors. The biggest problem they had was the school he had been attending did not offer a master's degree in his field, so he would be changing schools. To help offset the cost he took a position teaching as a graduate student.

His years as an undergraduate had not helped to settle his mind about his sexuality. He knew he wasn't gay. A few encounters had settled that quite definitively for him, yet in private intimate moments the body he imagined as he came was not feminine and the face not Rachael's face. . He loved Rachael. He knew that now, although they had not consummated that relationship. He was secure enough in his relationship now to go off to grad school and know that when they both graduated, they would wed.

---

Zach was nervous. He was housed in the upperclassmen dorms, in a co-ed dorm with a male roommate. Only the guy was a senior. Zach worried that they wouldn't get along. He needn't have worried so much; when they met they discovered they were both fine arts majors. Timothy had been in his studio class last year. They could both understand the need for creative space, and luckily their suite allowed for a small living room area which they immediately turned into their private studio.

---

The first semester went well. Then his guidance counselor told him he needed to pick a foreign language to study. It was required for graduation. Zach had never been good at languages, so he picked the one that fit his schedule best -- German 100. It met first thing in the morning three days a week and with luck would leave his afternoons free to paint.

That first Monday, Zach was running late to class, he had overslept. It was not something he did very often. He had his books in his bag and was plowing down the hall to the classroom, the one a couple girls just so happened to be standing outside of. Zach stopped just outside the door next to the girls and overheard the comment, "He's cute."

Zach groaned... another good looking teacher to torment him for a semester or three. Then he opened the door and stepped inside. His excuse for being late was on the tip of his tongue when he looked up. The teacher was not 'cute'. The teacher was Darkness, all grown up. His whole body tingled as their eyes met, and Zach fainted.

---

Amadeus barely had time to drop his welcoming notes and sprint across the front of the classroom to reach him in time. It had to be him, there could be no other boy that made his skin tingle, made his heart pound in his chest, and made certain parts of him sit up and take notice. Some of the girls giggled as Amadeus gently laid Zach down on the floor and began basic first aid. A few minutes later Zach's eyelashes fluttered and his eyes opened. He looked up directly at the man he had loved for so long and smiled, "You came."

Amadeus was lost with the first flutter of the lashes; he forgot even where he was as their eyes locked. His words seared and his breath came out hot and needy, "I promised."

Their lips met and the classroom erupted into a chorus of sounds that brought reality crashing back on the both of them.

---

Two hours later, they sat in separate chairs in front of the Dean of Students. He had explained that there was technically no law against two students becoming involved but this was not your typical case. Amadeus was a grad student. He was teaching classes and that alone made him a teacher, putting him in a bit of a different category. And Zachariah was still a minor although he was a sophomore.

"A seventeen year old minor," the Dean looked pointedly at Amadeus. "Now, do you care to explain this public kiss you shared?"

Amadeus seemed to be getting his thoughts together, so Zachariah spoke, his voice soft and sure, "I've loved him forever, Sir. I didn't know he was going to be there. We had lost touch..."

Amadeus blushed and looked at his shoes, especially his right shoe, where it touched Zachariah's left shoe. He didn't understand these feelings he was having, but there was nothing more in the world he wanted to do right now but to get naked with Zachariah.

"Amadeus, how did you know Zachariah?"

"I promised him I would love him forever," he looked at Zachariah and smiled, then to the dean who was not smiling, "then he left. Well, his mom left with him. You know, moved. We literally just became reunited this morning."

The Dean shook his head, "Zachariah, you cannot take Amadeus' class. You will have to take something else, preferably something under a tenured professor, a female."

"Yes sir," Zachariah smiled.

"And you," he indicated Amadeus, "will be watched."

"Yes sir."

"Now I would suspect you both have a lot of catching up to do. Might I suggest you keep this catching up to the public areas of the school until Zachariah celebrates his natal day. Dismissed." Two heads bobbed in unison as they stood up, Amadeus reached out and grabbed Zachariah's hand. Zachariah smiled and blushed slightly as they left the office.

The Dean shook his head, he had heard reports from several students from those full of disgust to those who reported it looked like love at first sight. He didn't know either young man well, but he did know love when he saw it, now to just temper it until they were better able to express themselves.

---

Amadeus never let go of Zachariah's hand, but led him to the parking lot, to a modest, mid-sized automobile in black, opened the door and waited for the younger man to get in. Zachariah did without question, then waited while Amadeus walked around the car to get in the driver's seat.

"We're supposed to stay in public," Zachariah whispered.

"We are in a car, in a parking lot. In a few minutes we will be driving down the road, those are public places."

"But when the car stops?"

"We will no longer be on campus." Amadeus grinned ferally, "You don't have to come."

"Yes I do."

Amadeus nodded, he understood. They both needed some time alone, together.

---

Tuesday Zach made it to all his classes on time and managed to go to registration to change his instructor for German. Unfortunately, he would now have it in the middle of the afternoon, but such was life. He and Amadeus met for lunch at the student union and tried not to listen to the whispering that went on around them. Amadeus quickly put an end to the rumors by leaning over and kissing Zach in public. Zach kissed back and didn't faint. It never occurred to either of them that they were now "out".

Timothy was in their shared studio when Zach finally came back to his room, for the first time since he left Monday morning.

"I've been hearing things about you today," he said as he brushed a bold red streak across the painting he was working on today.

"Things?" asked Zach, his expression innocent.

"Why didn't you tell me you were dating the grad student?"

"I'm not, I mean I wasn't." Zach blushed.

"But you are now?"

"Um, mebbe."

"Just maybe? Thirty students saw you two kiss yesterday, then again today in the student union. It was like he couldn't keep his hands off you. He's a grad student!"

"I know."

"But you don't know if you are dating?"

"I'm not so sure you could call it dating. We've kissed."

"Have you..."

"Tim!" Zach blushed again and went to put his things in his room.

Tim got up to follow after putting down his paintbrush, "Well, have you?"

Zach looked at Tim leaning in his door frame. "What does it matter to you? So what! I kissed a boy. Yesterday was the second time in my life that I had kissed one -- and it was the same one."

"It matters to me because we've been sharing rooms for months now and, well..." Tim entered the bedroom and kissed Zach firmly on the lips. "I've been wanting to do that for a while."

Zach looked up at him, eyes wide, and brought his fingers up to his mouth. Then the tears started to fall. "Out!" He pushed Tim back, and Tim went, more or less, before the door was slammed in his face.

Angry with himself for letting his emotions get out of control, Tim went back to painting -- broad red streaks on a black background.

Zach sat on his bed, bewildered at first. He had not thought of himself as desirable, but Amadeus had shown him last night just how desirable he was. Now Tim, whom he considered a friend, was kissing him. Who would be next?

---

Amadeus finished his classes for the day then went home to make a phone call. He needed Rachael's soft reassurance that they would be all right when it was all said and done.

"Hey Rach," he said when she picked up, "how are things?"

"Good, it's only the second day of classes, so I guess it can't be so bad yet. Missing me already?"

"Yes."

"Hum that didn't sound too good, what's on your mind, Deus?"

"I found him."

"Him?" Rachael sounded confused at first. Then she giggled into the phone as the obvious struck her. Deus could only be talking about one 'him', there was only ever one 'him' since they were in elementary school. "The boy that disappeared? The one that fainted?"

"Yes."

"Oh this has got to be good... what happened?"

"I kissed him."

The silence scared him. He didn't realize he was trembling.

"Just kissed?" she asked finally.

"No."

"Amadeus, are you breaking up with me?"

"No..." he tried to sound reassuring, but it came out nervous and frightened. "I needed you to know."

"How does he feel?"

"It's only been one day..."

"Did he kiss back?" Rachael cut him off.

"Oh god yes."

"Are you going to..."

"No, no, I promised you would be first and I mean it."

"Amadeus, you are grown."

"So are you," he commented back.

"But I'm not the one lusting after a little boy."

"He's no longer that little," Amadeus chuckled.

Rachael signed resignedly. "So tell me about him..."

Amadeus talked for an hour.

---

When she flipped the phone off, Rachael threw herself on her bed and wept. They only had two years left to get through. Two years! How could he do this to her? How could she do this to herself? She had never dated, never even looked at another boy like that. She knew he had feelings for that teary eyed first grader, but he belonged to her. Everyone said so. But now he was telling her he loved another boy. Oh he didn't come out and say it, but it was there. She had never heard him talk about anyone or anything so passionately. Not even her, especially not even her.

---

"Come on out Zach, you have to eat."

"I don't want to eat."

Tim sighed, Zach sounded like a spoiled brat. "I didn't mean to..."

"Yes you did."

"All right, I meant to, but honestly, if our situations were reversed, wouldn't you have done it too?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you want to eat?"

"People are talking about me."

"Yeah they are."

"Why?"

"Maybe they want to be you? Maybe because you are cute as hell and talented to boot? Maybe they want to kiss you too?" Tim heard movement in the room.

"Do you think I'm cute?"

His voice sounded closer to the door than it had. Tim smiled, "Of course you are cute, in that kid next door kind of way, I mean you're not 'legal' yet, so I can't have impure thoughts about you."

"But you kissed me."

"Yes, I did, and I might do it again..."

"I love Amadeus," Zach said as he opened the door.

"How do you know you love him, you've not even... well you know."

"I've loved him since I was little. Most of my art... well it's him, you know how I imagined he would be."

"I don't understand," Tim said totally perplexed, "if you've loved him since you were little why aren't you two together?"

"My family moved away. No way to keep in touch. We just rediscovered each other."

"And how does he feel?"

"I don't know," Zach replied honestly.

"Well, if you come to dinner now, we can meet the guys, and they will protect you."

"How will they feel about me being queer?"

Tim laughed, "You think you're the only one on campus? I don't think most of them would really care one way or the other, you do live in Whitman hall."

Zach looked a little perplexed. Tim laughed. "Study literature, you'll figure it out."

---

Rachael decided that she would take the bull by the horns over the next long weekend. So, when her last class finished on Friday, she got into her car and drove the three-hundred odd miles to see Amadeus. But before she confronted him, she wanted to see if she could find Zachariah. She needed to know if she stood a chance.

A security guard was kind enough to direct her to the art department. She easily found the visitor parking area and from there followed the signs to the student gallery. She hoped someone there would be able to help her.

"May I help you?" a young man, freshman she would have guessed, asked her a few minutes after she entered. He had been hanging a painting when she entered. There were a few more leaning against the walls in irregular intervals.

"Oh, I was just looking."

"Well, if you have any questions, just ask, I have a few more to hang before they'll let me go home."

Rachael looked at the various works, and stopped near one of what could only be Amadeus, relaxed and in bed. As far as she knew, he had never posed for anything like that. He would have told her. She was sure he would have told her. She looked at the signature; it was just a Z and the year. Deus would have been a sophomore, maybe. "This one here," she called out. "Can you tell me about it?"

"That one is 'Darkness in Repose'."

"And the artist?"

The young man shrugged, "The information is right there, under the painting. It won a ribbon a couple years ago."

Rachael read the little blurb. The painting was indeed called 'Darkness in Repose' and had won a ribbon at the spring art festival nearly four years ago.

"Is any of this art for sale?"

"It could be, you would have to ask one of the instructors though."

"Oh," she looked seriously at the painting again.

"Or you could ask the artist..."

"Do you know him?"

"Mebbe," Zach smiled. "How much would you be willing to pay for it?"

"What do you think would be fair?"

"Well the others in the series sold for as low as a hundred..."

"Really?"

"But that one..."

Rachael sighed. "It's probably out of my price range anyway."

"Oh I don't know, the artist might be negotiated with..."

"You're him, aren't you?"

Zach nodded then smiled at her.

"Can I open negotiations with dinner?"

"I think the artist would be open to that... if you will tell me why you want to purchase it."

Rachael turned back to the painting, "He's beautiful."

Zach stepped up behind her, "So, where are we eating?"

---

Zach relaxed at the casual dining place where they ended up. It was one of the places frequented by students and staff, and he really felt that having dinner with a girl would improve his image quite a bit. Maybe. He was rather concerned that people would think that he and Amadeus were dating, or specifically, more than dating. And it didn't hurt that she closely resembled what he thought Light should look like all grown up.

Near the end of the meal, he agreed to allow her to purchase the painting for a goodly sum. He had turned down offers for more money a few years ago, but now that he had the real thing, he didn't feel the need to hang onto the painting any longer.

"So other than an artist, what do you plan on doing with your life?" Rachael asked out of the blue.

"Other than?" Zach looked at her, confusion evident on his face.

"Yeah, you know, the backup plan?"

"Don't have one."

"So what are you going to do with your life if your art doesn't sell?"

"It sells."

"Enough to live on?"

Zach shrugged. It wasn't something he liked to think about. Not to mention the fact that this was the same conversation he had with his mother and stepfather every time he went home.

"My degree is in fine arts, but I'm minoring in graphic design. Worst case scenario, I earn a living as a tattoo artist..." he glanced at her to see if she could tell he was joking or not, his parents never could. "Or something... Not so bad scenario, I get a 'day job' and paint when I can. But I will paint."

"Have you ever taken a commission?"

Zach shook his head.

"You should consider it, you're very talented."

Zach blushed a little.

"Anyway, enough of that. Do you know of a decent hotel?"

"You're from out of town?"

"Yes, I thought I would come up to the college and check it out. I might be applying here next year. I thought that I should at least see the campus before I made up my mind."

"It's a nice school. There is a motel not too far."

"Show me?" Rachael asked as she signaled the waiter for the tab.

"Um, sure." Zach sounded unsure again.

---

Zach wasn't sure where he was at first when he woke up. There was a warm body pressed against his. A warm, soft body. A girl's body. Panic set in as he realized he was naked, had morning wood, and in bed with... what did she say her name was... um... Rachael. He nearly cried. How could he do this to Amadeus? To himself? He disengaged himself from her grasp and slunk into the bathroom. Once he voided his bladder, he climbed in the tub, and turned on the hot water. Tears ran freely as he realized he had lost his virginity and he didn't much remember what had happened.

Finally, he turned off the water and exited the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Rachael was sitting up, chatting on the phone. He didn't wait for her to get off the phone before he took his clothes and went back to the bathroom to dress. When he came back out, she was off the phone.

"You can drop off the money with any of the people at the gallery when you pick up your painting."

"Is this your way of saying you regret last night?"

"No," he looked at her, she was beautiful, and most guys he knew would give their left nut to bed someone so beautiful.

"Oh, so you don't respect me in the morning?"

Shock warred with confusion as he blurted out, "NO! No... I mean... last night should have never happened. I'm, um, seeing someone."

She looked miffed. "You could have mentioned that last night."

"I'm sorry, ok? Please, just let me go."

Rachael smiled at him, "I'm not stopping you."

Zach looked at her oddly. Why she confused him so, he could not explain. "I hope you enjoy the campus."

"Oh, I'm sure I will. They are sending over someone to guide me on my tour now. Maybe when I do transfer we can... hook up... again."

Zach blushed and bolted. Her laughter echoed in his mind as he walked a little too quickly down the hall. Turning a corner, he slammed right into someone. A tall someone. Who was carrying coffee.

"Watch where you're going!"

Zach looked up and his eyes met Amadeus' eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered, then started to cry, "So sorry." Then he bolted.

"Zach!" Amadeus called after him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he muttered as he pulled the still steaming cloth from his chest. Zach never even turned around, but kept going. Someone from housekeeping came over to clean up the mess, but that didn't help Amadeus' shirt or his burned skin. Angrily he gazed after Zach then blew out a long breath before turning around to go face Rachael. Something was going on here and he didn't like it one bit.

She answered on the first knock.

"I need to clean up a bit," he said in way of greeting.

"What happened?"

"Well I was bringing you some coffee, but it decided to jump cup," he said as he peeled off his shirt and looked at his chest. He was splotchy from his hands to his navel.

"That looks like it hurts."

He shot her a dirty look and dropped his pants. "I think a shower is in order."

She smiled, "Want some company?"

"I thought you didn't want to... you know... before we got married."

"Well, I've been rethinking my position on that. We are going to be getting married, right?"

Amadeus nodded hesitantly. He hadn't really made up his mind on that yet, but he didn't want to flat out tell her no yet -- at least not without rereading their contract.

"Then what's the harm?"

Heat flooded through Amadeus that had nothing to do with the coffee burn. He couldn't believe how his body was reacting so competly to her. He had tried this with other women and that had lead him to trying things with men which had led him to believe he was an asexual freak... until Zach.

"So you want to start with the shower?" he asked her, suddenly very aware of his wet clothing separating his body from hers.

"Start, finish, and plenty of sweating in between," she purred.

Amadeus pulled her to him, ignoring the burns and kissed her deeply. She tasted of cinnamon...

---

Zachariah managed to get back to campus. When he stormed out, he had forgotten she had driven. He headed to the gallery first to remove the painting, pack it for moving, and put a 'sold to' tag on it. Someone else could deal with her later, if she even showed up. Then he headed over to his studio, cranked up the music, and slapped paint on canvas.

---

Amadeus lay basking in the afterglow and his mind began to run over the events of the day. The one thing that kept snagging him back was the look on Zach's face when they collided. Why had Zach been in the hotel at that time of the morning? They hadn't exactly said they were dating, and he couldn't commit to Zach because of Rachael, but it still struck him as curious. Very curious. It was well past lunch when he and Rachael showered, dressed, and headed out.

"Oh I need to stop by the student gallery," Rachael smiled at him. "I bought you something."

"Bought me something?" Amadeus looked at her, perplexed.

"Yes, I was there last night and I saw something that I thought you would like. Have you ever been in the student gallery?"

Amadeus shook his head.

"Well your school has some very talented artists."

Amadeus' mind flipped and twisted trying to put the pieces together but he was still coming up short as he pulled into a parking spot outside the art building. Together they walked over to the gallery.

Rachael spotted the docent immediately and asked him if he knew about the painting she was supposed to pick up. After showing identification and handing over a check for the appropriate amount, she received the package.

"Let's unwrap it in your apartment," she said to Amadeus as she kissed him on the cheek.

Tim looked over at Amadeus, and knew he was the one that Zach had been seeing.

"Excuse me, may I speak to the gentleman in private please?" he asked in his worst British accent.

Amadeus laughed and went willingly with Tim, who walked him around the corner. As soon as they turned it, Tim rounded on him. "I know about you and Zach. She better be your sister, cause if she ain't you are going to hurt him. We don't like it when Zach is hurting."

"Who are you?" Amadeus asked, his tone hurt, shocked, and edging on angry.

"Your worst nightmare if you fuck Zach over."

"I won't hurt him."

"Then who is she?" Tim indicated Rachael who had wondered over to where she could see the two of them.

"My... wife," Amadeus whispered.

"Fucking bastard!" Tim yelled cutting him off.

"You don't understand," Amadeus looked at him, pleading with every inch of himself for Tim to try to listen, to try to understand. "We were betrothed practically from the cradle, everyone expects..."

Tim looked at him, listening -- sort of, "So you aren't married yet?"

Amadeus shook his head.

"But you will be."

Amadeus nodded.

"And how does Zach feel about that?"

"Zach lived in the same town Rachael and I grew up in. It was a fact of life there," he took a deep breath, "but Zach's parents escaped, so Zach escaped."

"Are you saying that had he stayed he would have a 'wife' too?"

Amadeus nodded.

"Do you love him?"

Amadeus couldn't answer, so he nodded.

"And her?"

"Yes."

"Which will you choose?"

"I don't know."

"Don't hurt him," Tim warned again, "There are people on this campus who would give their right arm to have him love them like he loves you."

Amadeus nodded to Tim's back as he walked away. He was a little surprised to hear that, but he wouldn't argue. Zach seemed to relate oddly to the people around him, and people either loved or hated him for it. Strangers defending his virtue, Amadeus did not understand it. He walked back over to Rachael, claimed the painting from her, and headed back out to the car to head to his apartment.

Grad student's dorms were really a series of apartments owned by the college in the neighborhoods surrounding the college. His apartment house had six tenants, and his own room was on the second floor so he got noises from both above and below, in addition to next door. They were rather small too, with a combination living room / dining room / kitchenette and a bedroom / study. He thought it might actually be smaller than some of the dorm combinations he had seen, but it was off campus, and that alone was worth the cramp.

Inside, he had a single couch that folded out into a bed in the living room, a lazy boy and reading lamp. There wasn't much for an entertainment center, just an old television on a stand that had books stacked up underneath and on both sides of it. The dining area held a small table, currently clean, and two chairs. The bedroom had been converted into a study, and that was where his stereo equipment was along with a state of the art computer with all the trimmings.

"This is so... small," Rachael said as they entered.

"Yeah, but its home, at least for now."

"How do you live in here? My dorm space is bigger than this whole apartment."

Amadeus shrugged, "I've heard the dorms here are bigger too, but it's in my price range and it's off campus..." he looked around, "besides, I like it."

Rachael sighed, "I'm not so sure I want to be a graduate student."

"Well, if you were, we would be in the married dorms, and those are much, much nicer."

"Why would we be in the married dorms?"

He looked at her. "Rachael... this afternoon... we..."

"Had sex?"

Amadeus was confused.

"Had... sex? I thought it was a little more than that."

"It was bound to happen eventually," Rachael sighed and looked at one blank wall. "I think your present would look really nice right there."

Amadeus felt like the world was spinning out of control as he watched her unpackage the painting.

"Do you have a hammer and nail?"

"Um, yeah sure." Amadeus went and retrieved his toolbox.

Rachael showed him where she thought the nail should go, and he put it there. Then he turned around for the 'big unveiling'.

"Oh my!" he gasped as he saw the painting. "Where did you find that?"

"It was hanging in the student gallery. Now do you see why I had to have it?"

"That's not me."

"Sure resembles you though."

"I never..." Amadeus blushed, "Not in a million years." He hung the painting and wondered if he should move it into the study so his few guests wouldn't be forced to view it.

"Pictures don't lie, Deus."

Amadeus didn't know what to say to counter that, he only knew he had not posed for that painting.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Rachael said, "even if you did, I had you first." She stepped closer to him, "I did have you first didn't I?"

Amadeus nodded, blushing. "You know I wouldn't cheat on you."

"Not even with... what was his name?"

"Zach?" Amadeus replied before realizing that she was baiting him.

"Oh, yes, Zach. You've not done anything with Zach that I should be aware of?"

"No. I told you everything. Besides, Zach is only seventeen. Anything other than a kiss would be illegal."

"Seventeen?"

Amadeus nodded, "He finished school early or something. Some new program the art school offers to very talented students. He will earn his undergraduate degree the year after you. He could earn his masters before he's old enough to properly celebrate it."

Rachael felt the panic set in. Zach was competition. She heard it in Deus' voice. Deus was proud of Zach. She had to do something, fast. Her eyes met his and the words tumbled out of her mouth, "I want to finalize our commitment this spring."

"This spring? Doesn't your mother need more notice than that?"

"Not if I call and tell her now."

"It's almost February."

"So we will shoot for June."

"June is summer."

"Before the 20th, that's spring."

Amadeus felt his head nod, but his heart clutched. He would only have this semester with Zach. "What about school?"

"I can transfer, or you can put your education on pause for a year and we can attend grad school together."

"No," Amadeus looked at her, then firmly restated, "No. We will stick to the original plan. Tell your mother the wedding can take place next June if you want, but I'm not putting my life on hold and there is no valid reason for you to transfer schools your senior year. It's just not practical, Rachael."

"Not practical? Not practical is what we are doing now. We should have said the final vows right after high school like our fathers wanted, but you wanted to wait, now you want to wait again. Why do you want to wait, Amadeus? Who are you fucking?"

Amadeus could not believe the argument they were having. It made no sense. "I'm not fucking anyone!" he yelled at her. "Who the hell are you fucking that you keep thinking I'm fucking someone?"

"Only you," she rebuffed.

"Then why are we fighting?"

"Because you love that boy!"

Amadeus stood pole axed. "Because I love Zach?"

She nodded, tears ruining her mascara. Her bottom lip was trembling and her heart was breaking. She loved him, really loved him. She had since they were little, but if he didn't love her...

"I love Zach," Amadeus said softly, turning the thought around in his head, and then he smiled. "I do."

Rachael screamed in frustration. He didn't love her. He loved a boy. It wasn't that he was gay or bisexual or whatever it was that he was. It was... well it was that he didn't tell her. He was supposed to be hers. They had sex. They had a commitment. They had a contract! What would her family say? What would his say? It just wasn't fair.

Amadeus didn't follow her when she stormed out. Instead he sat on his couch and toyed with the idea of loving Zach -- what it meant, how it would affect him, them... Zach and Rachael. The thought terrified him and made him smile at the same time. Rachael and Zach. The two people he'd loved for as long as he could remember. He didn't understand how he could feel the way he did for each of them, for both of them, separately and together, but he knew he wanted to explore this further.

---

Zach painted until his arms ached, then he curled up in the corner of the room and slept for a few hours before starting up again. Monday was a holiday. Tuesday he missed class. Wednesday he shivered when he lay down. His stomach hurt. His head hurt. His heart still hurt. He wept and slept.

---

Tim was beginning to become worried. He hadn't seen his roommate all weekend, and if he had been in while Tim had been out, then Tim couldn't tell. When his books hadn't been moved from their corner when Tim came home Tuesday, Tim called the RA and told him that Zach was missing. By Wednesday afternoon people had been contacted and the places he frequented checked. There was no light on in Zach's studio so no one opened the door. Amadeus was worried out of his mind and had to be sedated. He was sleeping in Zach's bed in the dorm so that Tim could keep an eye on him. Late Wednesday night the phone rang. It was the RA. Zach had been found. They were needed at the hospital.

---

Zachariah's mother and stepfather were talking to the doctor when Tim and Amadeus arrived. Tim had only met them once, in the fall, when they helped Zach move into the dorm. Amadeus hadn't met them, but Zach's mother knew who he was because he looked just as his father had when he was a young man.

"Mr. and Mrs. Sticklan? How is he?" Tim asked when he first saw them.

Mrs. Sticklan looked up, confusion on her face.

"Timothy, ma'am, Zach's roommate."

Recognition dawned. "Do you know why he would do this to himself?" she asked.

Tim looked at Amadeus, then back to the Sticklans. "We aren't exactly sure what he's done."

"It seems the young man tried to commit suicide by paint," the doctor said calmly as he walked up.

Amadeus looked at Tim, "Is that possible?"

Tim shrugged, "Only if he drank it or something, and most the paints we use are non-toxic. How exactly did he attempt..."

"It seems the young man did not eat or drink much for several days; instead, he painted. We have him on fluids and other things, but for now, we are trying to find out why he did this. Do you boys have any ideas?" asked the doc.

"You say he painted? Where are the paintings?"

"At the studio, where he was found. They were stacked up along the walls in racks. We aren't sure which ones he painted the past few days, but there were... several," Mr. Sticklan glanced at his wife before continuing, "several disturbing ones among them."

"I'd have to look at them to see if I can help," Tim offered.

"Will he live?" Amadeus finally asked.

"He should make a full physical recovery," the doctor said carefully.

"And mentally?" Mr. Sticklan asked.

"That depends largely on Zachariah and what caused this snap to begin with."

"So you think our son is mentally unstable?" Mrs. Sticklan asked.

"No, no, not by any means," the doctor backpedaled, "it just seems that he is seeking escape from something through his paintings. However, unless we find out what the true cause is, well, it makes it more difficult to fix him."

"Can we see him?" Amadeus asked.

"He can have visitors. I do believe he was specifically asking for you two. Try to keep things calm, and don't overdo it," the doctor said with a smile. "Room 3113, on the left near the end."

Amadeus turned to go. He needed to make sure Zach was well. Tim followed.

---

"You said Zach was asking for them?" Mrs. Sticklan asked the doctor.

"When he was first brought in. He asked for them before he would let us treat him. Had to promise to find them. Luckily Tim is an art student, and Amadeus was with him."

"Do you often promise your patients things?"

"To give them a reason to live, yes."

"I don't think I want that other boy around my son," Mrs. Sticklan said suddenly.

"Which one?"

"The other one. Tim is a good boy, but that other one..." she shuddered.

"I can have security escort him out, but think of your son's mental stability right now. He was asking about his friends. Now they are here to support him," the doctor tried to appease her.

She shook her head. "Not that one."

The doctor sighed, "I'll go explain. If he gives me any trouble, I'll call security."

---

Amadeus entered the room not knowing what to expect so he wasn't overly upset by the sheer number of tubes, wires, and machines in the room. Zach didn't move when he entered nor when he reached the bed. Not so much as an eyelash twitched as Amadeus picked up his hand and traced his thumb over the back. "What happened Zach?"

He didn't expect an answer and he didn't get one. Tim slid into the room quietly and watched.

"What were you doing in the hotel? Why did you run from me? Whatever it is, baby, we can work it out."

"Keep talking to him, Amadeus. He can hear you," Tim encouraged.

Amadeus was still talking, mostly nonsense with words of encouragement and love mixed in when the doctor arrived.

"I'm sorry to do this, but his mother does not want you around him."

Amadeus looked up with tears in his eyes, "Can she do that?"

"Unfortunately she can. He's a minor. Will you leave peacefully?"

"I don't understand. Why do we have to go?" Tim asked.

"You don't have to go," the doctor said addressing Tim. "It's only him she objects to being here."

Amadeus seemed confused, then he nodded. "It's all right Tim, I'll not cause a scene. I'm going to go look at some paintings then head back to the dorm."

Tim nodded, fighting back his own tears. "I'll be there soon."

"No, stay. Let me know how he is."

Tim smiled, and nodded. Amadeus got up and left the room. The elevator doors had just closed when Zach opened his eyes, "Amadeus?"

---

Amadeus stood in Zach's studio and just stared at the paintings. Getting in hadn't been difficult; the door had been left unlocked. But the paintings! Most were clearly of Rachael, although Amadeus wasn't sure how Rachael knew Zach personally or what she had done to piss him off. In one she lay on an altar as someone dark hovered over her with a bloody knife and an even bloodier phallus. In another, she was dressed in a wedding gown, but waiting for her at the altar were two grooms, their faces were not visible but Amadeus got the feeling that he might be one of them. It made no sense to him. There were images of him too, images that inflamed his libido, images that made him want to hold and comfort Zach.

"You know, he's not insane," a voice came from behind him. Amadeus turned around.

"I didn't think he was."

"People are talking..." The man stepped fully into the room. "He's going to need his friends when he comes back. Are you his friend?"

"Yeah, his friend."

"I'm Daniel Steeler, one of the professors here. We recruited Zachariah when he was just entering puberty. His paintings have developed along with him, but he's never painted like this. I'm concerned something bad happened to him."

"Something bad?" Amadeus knew he sounded foolish just repeating what the professor said, but he wasn't sure what to say or how to say it.

"The students we choose for his program are special. Sometimes they crack, but when they do that they don't produce like this." He indicated the artistry around the room. "This indicates some major event in his life -- something personally important. In other places our artists paint like this when, say, they become parents, or when they lose their virginity. I'm not sure if Zachariah was still a virgin, or if he was a virgin when we found him, his art has always been highly erotic in tone."

"I don't know either; we've barely gone beyond..." Amadeus blushed, "well I guess you would say first base."

Daniel nodded, "That could be it. He fell in love. But some of the others were under the impression that he had always had a partner, someone he kept well away from this life."

"Is that possible?"

"Well, with some people, yes."

"With Zach?"

"I'm not so sure. It could be just the opposite. Have you two fought?"

"No, not at all."

"Um hum," the professor wandered around the studio examining the various pieces. "You know, these two figures have cropped up in many of his paintings, but never this much violence. I do believe our boy is angry at the girl."

"This one doesn't look angry," Amadeus pointed to the wedding painting.

"I would think that one represents a choice."

"So the bride must choose which she will marry?"

The professor shrugged, "Or the grooms could have to be making that decision.

Amadeus sighed, "I've never understood art."

"But you are with an artist?"

Amadeus nodded.

"You must really love him. How is he?"

"Unconscious, his parents won't let me..."

"Ah, yes, I've met his parents. I'm not surprised. They are very traditional. You would not fit into that picture. Zachariah barely fits." He looked around at the mess. "Think we should clean up in here or should we leave it for him to clean?"

"Would anything be ruined if we left it?"

The professor pointed out some brushes and things. Amadeus started picking up those, working quietly and wondering when Zach and Rachael could have spent enough time together to cause him this much pain.

---

Hours later, Amadeus went back to his rooms to pick up some things. He was behind in grading papers and his professor was not happy that he had become so ill for what he considered a 'no good reason'. Amadeus sighed and decided he would wait until morning to make some phone calls. It wasn't as if he were just behind in the classes he was teaching either, but missing a couple days in his own coursework could prove grade shattering if he didn't get caught up soon. Amadeus sighed, more phone calls for the morning.

---

Tim smiled at Zach as he opened his eyes. "You just missed him."

"Why'd he leave?"

"Your mother doesn't want him here."

"I do."

Tim shrugged noncommittally.

"It's 'cause I'm not eighteen yet, isn't it?"

"It might be. She's your mother, Zach, she's worried. Let her worry for a little while."

"What happened?"

"Well, you decided to live your art for a couple days. Remember how Professor Steeler was always warning everyone that it can happen and not let it happen?"

Zach nodded.

"Well, you didn't listen."

"Oh."

"So what happened to set it off?" Tim waited for a few moments then when Zach didn't answer, he continued, "Might as well face it with friends, Zach. I won't tell."

"I met a girl. She bought one of my paintings. We spent the night together."

Things whirled in Tim's mind, not so good things. "What do you mean -- spent the night together?"

Zach looked at him and rolled his eyes. "What do you think?"

"You made love?"

"No. I think what we did would be more considered me getting fucked. I didn't mean to cheat on Amadeus. I didn't start out the night to cheat on him. I don't even know how I ended up with her in bed." Zach sighed. "I'm not so sure I can face him, Tim, although I really need to."

"Well I think your mother is going to help with that. He's not allowed to see you while you are in the hospital."

"But I need to see him."

"Zach, you aren't making much sense right now. Why don't we let the doctors do what the doctors do? Then you let your mom do what moms do. Then, if you still want to see him... I'll stand by you one hundred percent."

"Thank you, Tim. You're right, I should wait. At least for now." Zach smiled a little, then fell back to sleep.

---

The days passed slowly for Amadeus. Getting regular updates through Tim did help, but not seeing Zach with his own eyes didn't help. He couldn't see him, at all. When Zach had been released from the hospital his parents had taken him home, to recuperate. He was making his classes, but his mother was pretty much accompanying him, so that he would not overexert himself. Professor Steeler had been the most helpful in keeping him up-to-date with what was going on in Zach's life. Two of the new paintings were hanging in the student gallery and people were talking.

It was a week before spring break when Rachael called.

"We need to talk," she said is hushed tones, as if she was afraid someone would be listening to their conversation.

"Well, hello Rachael, nice to hear from you again, oh and thank you for returning my calls for the past couple weeks," Amadeus said as snarkily as he could manage.

"Deus, you don't understand!"

"Understand what? The person who is supposed to be my wife is avoiding me? The person whom I'm not supposed to love is hurting and I can't help? The fact that I'm going crazy and NO ONE is here to support me?"

"Deus, I would come if I could, but I can't."

"You can't! You can't! You can't ever do anything but exactly what you want to do, Rachael. Well maybe I can't now. I can't love you both, I don't know how."

"Then choose, Deus, it can't be that difficult. Come home, marry me, and start again in the fall. Forget him."

"I can't," Amadeus wept, "I just can't." Amadeus continued to cry even past when he heard the dial tone. He didn't have enough energy to press the button to hang it up.

---

Rachael slammed the phone down in anger. What was she supposed to tell her mama? Surely, they would notice, they noticed EVERYTHING. She sighed. And when she did her mama was certain to tell her father who would then make a formal call on Deus' father and ask him why his son hasn't done the right thing, who would then make contact with Deus... probably in person at the most awkward moment.

"Oh gawd!" she muttered, she didn't want him to find out like that. It was going to be a long night, a long drive, and a longer weekend.

---

Zach finally got up the nerve to call Amadeus, but all he had gotten was a busy signal... for four hours. Now he was worried. His parents were sleeping. They had finally agreed he could go back to his dorms after spring break, but they still insisted that he not see Amadeus. Well calling wasn't seeing... was it? Zach paced his small bedroom and finally came to a decision. Amadeus had come looking for him when he was missing. Tim and Professor Steeler had assured him of that. So had a couple of other people. He had been a basket case while he was missing. Zach slipped on his shoes and headed out.

Finding the building hadn't been too difficult, although there were several in a row that looked the same. Then there was the matter of finding the correct door, well Zach remembered the number so that was just a matter of climbing the stairs. But getting the door open. It's not like there was a RA around to bug with his worry. He banged on the door -- hard and loud, but nothing. He yelled 'Amadeus', and nothing. He was getting ready to leave when the door across the hall opened.

"Do you think he might be sleeping?" the young man asked sounding half asleep himself.

"He's not answering his phone..." Zach said the worry evident in his voice.

"Maybe he's not home."

Zach looked at him, frustrated. "It's ringing busy.... For four hours."

The other young man's brows furrowed. "Fine, but I'm going in with you, to make sure you don't do anything..." he turned around and rummaged something near his door, then stepped across the hall with the keys in his hand.

---

The apartment was nothing like he last saw it. Empty boxes lay on every possible surface with half-eaten food inside, dirty glasses -- some that still had unidentifiable liquids in them -- were sitting all over. There were books and papers strewn everywhere too.

Amadeus lay on the couch, his eyes were open, but he didn't turn his head when the door opened. Zach walked over toward him cautiously and saw that his chest was rising and falling. A sigh of relief escaped, and he made his way over to the one person he decided then and there that he loved no matter what.

"Hey honey," he said cautiously.

"I can't do this anymore," Amadeus replied, his voice hoarse from crying.

"Can't do what?"

"Stay away from you," he turned his head and Zach could see how red and swollen his eyes and nose were.

"I don't want you to stay away from me," Zach sat down next to him on the couch.

"Then why have you been?"

"I was confused."

They heard the door shut softly.

"What confused you?"

"Well, see, it's like this... I met a girl."

"A girl?"

"Yes. We had dinner and then we went to a hotel..."

"And you screwed her."

"More like she screwed me," Zach said. "She really messed with my head. I had planned on, um, losing my um..."

"Virginity?"

Zach nodded and blushed, "with someone of a different um... gender."

"Someone I know?" Amadeus smiled.

"Mebbe," Zach smiled back.

"Still want to?"

"Isn't that like impossible?"

"Well, there is more than one way to lose your virginity, Zach."

Zach giggled, "Only if you really want to and if we clean up this apartment first."

"Trash bags are under the sink."

---

They lay snuggled together on the fold out bed, neither was really sleeping; both were lost in their thoughts. This was right. This was very right.

---

Dawn came and with it a loud banging on the door. "Sheesh," Amadeus said, "who could it be at this time of morning?" He nudged the still sleeping Zach over a little and went to cease the pounding. He opened the door slightly and had it shoved the rest of the way open by an angry Rachael.

"What do you mean you can't?" she ranted before noticing his nakedness.

"Well hello to you too Rachael, if you could come back at a decent hour then we can talk." Amadeus guided her over toward the door again, but she had noticed the lump in the bed.

"Who do you have in there?"

"None of your business."

"None. Of. My. Business?" her eyes went wide and she stormed past him to snatch the corner of the blanket exposing a now awake and very naked Zach. "Oh isn't this lovely," she sneered.

"Hello Rachael," Zach said, looking from her to Amadeus and back again.

Amadeus seemed confused for a moment then events lined up in his mind. "You fucked him?" he roared, shoving her against the door. "You fucked him and then you fucked me!"

"I didn't Deus, honestly I didn't," she pleaded.

Amadeus looked over at Zach who nodded.

Her eyes widened and she blanched. "I swear!"

"Fucking bitch! Who else have you been fucking?" he screamed at her.

"No one," tears were flowing now, "no one."

"You were MINE!" he roared, "but no more." He reached for the phone, dialed a number, and waited for someone to pick up. He got lucky; it was his father. "I'm not marrying Rachael," he stated bluntly.

"Why?"

"She's been unfaithful."

"Son, you have been exploring your sexuality too..."

"I had her permission!"

There was silence on the line.

"Come home over spring break, and bring your young man with you. We will work something out then."

"I'm not marrying her."

"Son, you already have and you know it as well as I do." The line went dead.

Amadeus roared again, a deep throaty rumble that shook the windows. Then he turned on Rachael, "Get out. Just get the fuck out and don't come back."

"What about him?" she asked.

"He's staying. Now, forever, and always."

"You said that to me once too," she shot back as she opened the door.

He lurched in her direction and she fled down the stairs.

---

"You can't go," his mother said very simply.

"What do you mean I can't go?" Zach asked her.

"I'm saying you are not allowed to go."

He looked at her as if she had grown three heads. "I don't recall asking your permission." He threw the last of his things into the car to take back to campus, "And don't look for me during spring break. I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on."

"But we were going to go..."

"Did you even bother to ask me if I wanted to go?" He glared at his mother. "Do you even care about my schoolwork?"

She had the decency to look miffed. "At least promise me you will stay away from that boy."

"Which boy?"

"You know which one I'm talking about. The one from the hospital."

"Oh you mean my boyfriend, mother? No chance in hell I'm staying away from him." With that, he got in the car and took off.

---

Zach took his things and returned to his dorm room. Several guys came out to help him, although it really wasn't much, he was well liked and they wanted to help.

"You feeling better now, Zach?" one of the guys from his floor asked.

"Yeah a lot better, thanks for asking," Zach smiled at him.

"You keep that up and I'm going to faint," the guy shot back.

"Keep what up?"

Several of the guys laughed. "You're legal now, kiddo," one of them whispered near his ear.

"Eighteen, yes, as of yesterday," Zach sounded confused even to his own ears.

"Does Timmy know you're coming home?"

"No, it's my room too, or did he go out and get another roommate while I wasn't looking?"

"No, no other roommates," Tim said as he opened the door on the stair, "Welcome back."

"Thank you," Zach smiled, then looked past Tim and saw the whole floor decorated in balloons and crepe paper. "Who told?"

"Your mother called. She's worried you know, with you yelling at her like that," he winked. "Oh and about you having a boyfriend. She called to warn me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, and I was really surprised. I mean, you've just had your birthday. You couldn't have gotten a NEW boyfriend overnight. So I just assumed you were letting her know about the OLD one."

Zach laughed, "Um yeah, she told me I had to stay away from Amadeus."

"Fat chance of that," Amadeus said from behind him.

Zach squealed in delight as he turned around and hugged Amadeus.

"So, Zach, we still on for spring break?"

"Do I have to go meet your parents?"

"Yep."

Zach sighed, "Then I guess we are still on." He leaned up and kissed Deus full on the mouth.

Cheers went up along the hall, and Zach remembered where he was.

"Aw come on guys, leave them alone," Tim chided. "There's cake and ice cream in the kitchen!"

The herd of boys headed to the kitchen where they sang Zach the birthday song before cutting the penis shaped cake with strawberry icing.

---

Zach slid right back into university life, and right into Amadeus' life. He was now getting personal tutoring in a few subjects to catch him up. Amadeus had gladly taken on the duty of German tutor. The days flew by until spring break, and when Friday arrived, Zach was not prepared.

---

"I can't go, Amadeus," Zach whined.

"Oh yes you can," Amadeus laughed and pulled Zach from their bed.

"I have so many things to do today."

"Uh huh. The pieces for the show are already packaged and given over to Professor Steeler. Tim is running interference for you with your parents if they show up and we will be a couple hundred miles away."

"I've not packed! I have nothing clean to wear!"

"And what kind of college students would we be if we didn't arrive home with all our dirty laundry?" Amadeus laughed again. "Now get your ass out of bed, go to class, and I'll meet you at the student union at three so we can leave."

"I have a lot of studying to do -- projects due!"

"It's spring BREAK, Zachariah, take a break."

Zach didn't look none too happy as he climbed out of bed and pulled on his last pair of clean jeans and a tee-shirt that said something borderline rude across his chest. He gave Amadeus a dirty look as he packed his bag with the things he would need for the day, then laughed when he was handed a breakfast burrito when he was ready to go.

"You keep feeding me, I might stick around," he said cheekily holding up the burrito.

"I hope so," Amadeus grinned as he picked up his own bag and they headed down to ride together to campus.

---

At three, Zach was standing outside the student union feeling very nervous. He hadn't traveled out of this city since he moved here when he was six except for art shows. He saw Amadeus' car pull up and honk the horn, Zach bolted out to meet him. They kissed after Zach slid into the passenger seat.

"Well, that's it. It's official. You are definitely queer."

"Huh?"

"You kissed a man in front of the student union."

"Oh," Zach blushed. "I guess I did. You know I'm not really queer -- just queer for you."

"So long as you stay queer for me, then we will be just fine," Amadeus reached over and placed his hand on Zach's thigh and squeezed.

Zach smiled and stared out the window. He was asleep before they were fifty miles down the highway.

---

"Zach, wake up honey, we're here," Amadeus whispered as he caressed his love. They weren't at his folk's house yet, but at a gas station in the event that Zach wanted a few minutes to freshen up.

"You live at an Exxon?"

"No, I needed a pitstop."

Zach nodded and they headed inside to the bathroom.

When they were back in the car, Amadeus told him that his home was five minutes away. They rode that five minutes in total silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

After about five minutes, Amadeus turned down what looked like a side street, but there were no houses, only shrubs -- very tall shrubs -- along both sides. The road turned twice then the house was revealed. The whole front was lit up with security lights. The front porch went from corner to corner and beyond. Above that loomed three stories of huge windows with black shutters, windows so huge a man could stand in them.

Zach sat staring while Amadeus parked the car off to one side of the drive, grabbed the bag they would need for tonight, tossed the strap over his shoulder, and walked around the car to open the door for Zach. "It's beautiful."

"It's a house," Amadeus shrugged. "One day it will be my house."

"Your house?"

"Yes, my grandfather a few greats back put some things in his will that are still affecting the rest of our family today. Some of the things will affect my children; one of those things is the house." Amadeus grinned, "Come on I bet they are expecting us."

Zach took his hand, suddenly uncertain about this whole ordeal and very glad Amadeus stopped at the Exxon.

There were seven steps from the last flagstone to the porch. Seven. Zach counted. On his third step across the porch, the door swung open and two young children came bounding out aimed for Amadeus.

"Jacky! Jaime!" he scooped them up one in each arm. "I would like you to meet my special friend Zachariah. Zach these two are my niece, Jacqueline, and nephew, James."

Zach just sort of smiled and wondered what that warm fuzzy feeling he had in his gut was about.

Amadeus noticed the goofy grin and passed Jacky over to Zack to hold, so he could hold Zach's hand again. Zach took the squirming toddler with no fuss, still overawed with everything that was going on around him. Amadeus led Zach inside, with Jacky and Jaime talking a mile a minute.

"Ok you two," a female voice said as they walked in the door, "You've seen your Uncle, so off to bed with you."

Zach followed Amadeus' lead in handing off the children to their parents, who were promptly bombarded with questions about Zach. He blushed as he heard one of them ask if Zach was their Uncle now too.

"You get used to them," Amadeus said softly as he pulled Zach into an embrace. "I wasn't expecting them to be here tonight."

"Oh?" he leaned into the embrace, the warm fuzzy feelings still there.

"Nope, means we have to sleep in boxers. The little terrors will be up before dawn and they love to wake everyone up -- by bouncing on them." Zach laughed and Amadeus let him go. "Come on let's go meet my folks."

They walked down a short hallway and turned left, the room seemed to take up half the house it was so huge. Sitting in a small grouping were four older adults, one who was a little older than Amadeus, and Rachael. Amadeus stopped as he saw them.

"Come on in Amadeus, and bring Zachariah. We have quite a few things to talk about."

"It's late. It was a long drive. I'm tired and I think that the things you want to discuss can at least wait until morning." Amadeus said stiffly.

His sister came up behind them suddenly and wrapped an arm around each of them, "Come on Amadeus, you should have known to expect this. And you, Zachariah, are not so innocent in this mess." She guided them over to the loveseat near where the others sat, and then she sat down beside her husband. Rachael sat between her parents on the couch.

Amadeus reached over and held Zach's hand in a show of solidarity. Rachael looked away. He looked from her to his father and asked, "So what is this about?"

"This," he pointed to some papers on the coffee table, "is your betrothal contract. I know you've seen it before."

"Yes, I signed it when I turned eighteen, at your insistence."

"And Rachael signed it when she turned eighteen. It's legal, and binding." Rachael's father said as he glared at Zach.

"She broke the contract," Amadeus told him.

"She says you broke the contract."

"And who did I break the contract with?"

"Zachariah," Amadeus' father said.

Zach blanched. "How did he break the contract with me, sir?"

Before Amadeus' father could speak, Amadeus spoke, "I say she broke the contract."

Rachael's father growled, then asked, "Who did she break the contract with, Amadeus?"

"Zachariah," he squeezed Zach's hand more tightly.

Rachael's mother blanched, mumbled something about thinking she would be sick and left the room in a hurry.

"So, let me see if I understand this?" Amadeus' brother-in-law said gently. "Both of you claim that the other broke the contract by sleeping with Zachariah?"

Both Rachael and Amadeus nodded.

"Zachariah, did you have sex with both Rachael and Amadeus?"

"Not at the same time."

There were some nervous chuckles around the room and Rachael's mother returned.

"Which one was first?"

"Rachael."

"And how much later was Amadeus?"

"Weeks, after my... incident and recovery and after I told him that I had cheated on him."

"Cheated on him? How could you be cheating on him if you weren't a couple?"

Zach blushed, but Amadeus squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I've loved Amadeus since as long as I can remember. He was my first kiss, my first... everything except one thing." Zach felt the heat rise in his cheeks, "I lost my virginity to Rachael. I didn't know she was Amadeus' Rachael. I thought she was just someone who liked my paintings. She bought one. That was the night we..." he turned crimson and stared at the floor.

"Do you remember when that was exactly?"

Zach nodded. "The Friday before I went into the hospital, that was a Wednesday, the second week of school. So the first Friday of this term."

"Is that correct Rachael?"

"Yes, but Amadeus was already sleeping with him. He told me so!"

"I did no such thing! I told you about him of course. I felt you should know that I had found him! You came that weekend and we made love. Oh excuse me -- according to you we fucked."

"I didn't want to lose you."

"You hadn't lost me, at least not at that point, but when I found out that you had slept with him -- before you slept with me," Amadeus' voice became almost a whisper, "that he had your virginity instead of me and you had his instead of me -- damn it. It pissed me off."

"Rachael, what do you have to say? It seems that a lot of this is a misunderstanding."

"I still love Amadeus."

"Zachariah, how do you feel about Rachael and Amadeus?"

Zach got the scared rabbit look, but Amadeus squeezed his hand again. "I don't know Rachael that well. I mean, well I just don't know, but I do know that I love Amadeus. I've loved him most my life." His voice dropped to a whisper, "I used to think I loved her too."

Rachael and Amadeus looked at him, with varying degrees of shock.

"What do you mean, Zach?" Amadeus prompted.

"When I was younger, I would see the two of you together and I loved you, both. When we kissed that day, before I moved, I knew you were the one for me. You promised to come for me and you did. I just always thought that, well, that the two of you..."

"That we would be together when we came for you?"

Zach nodded. "It was a silly thought. I know that two people make up a couple." Zach sniffled, "You were hers first, never really mine. I'll understand..."

"Well boys, it's not exactly that simple, although I wish it were," Rachael's father spoke, "It seems that my daughter slept with the both of you within hours of each other. Did either of you use a condom?"

Zach looked at Amadeus and Amadeus looked at Zach, then both shook their heads.

"So that's a no?" Rachael's father asked.

"That's a no," Amadeus' brother-in-law said with a grin.

"Then we have a serious problem."

"What kind of problem?" Zach asked looking at Rachael.

"One of you knocked me up."

Amadeus recovered first. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I tried to! All you would say to me is 'I can't!'. What was I supposed to do?"

"Pregnant?" Zach whispered. "My mom is going to kill me."

"Oh, there's a chance it's not yours."

"But there is a chance it is," he smiled. "Is there any way to tell?"

"Tests will be run as soon as the doctor agrees it's safe for both Rachael and the baby."

"What do we do until then?"

"Well, see that is the biggest part of this problem. The betrothal contract has been broken, that much we can all agree to. As to who broke it first..."

"I can prove Amadeus hadn't um... made love to me," Zach said. "They gave me an exam at the hospital cause they didn't know what was wrong with me. My records say 'no signs of anal penetration'. I know cause I asked how they could tell and how long 'signs' lasted. The doctor said once someone has been sodomized, well they can tell and I wasn't."

"So, Rachael broke the contract." Amadeus said, "Although I would have eventually."

"Still we need to decide what to do about the provisions in the contract."

"Can we rewrite it?" Amadeus asked.

"You'd do that for me?" Rachael responded.

"I still love you, but I love Zach too. Zach loves me, and he says he loved you too before all this. It's possible he could love you again."

Zach nodded.

Rachael's father looked at the two boys, "I can't condone this, not my daughter with both of them."

---

"She's old enough to sign the contract herself, and if a new contract is not written, then Rachael, and you, will be held to the terms of the first one."

"She's already carrying his child; it's valid no matter who broke it."

"Afraid not, she could be carrying Zach's child, which would also invalidate it."

"I think," Gloria spoke for the first time in the evening, "that we parents should retire and leave the children to decide what they should and should not do. The pregnancy is not going to change fathers for us fighting over it, nor will the facts of the situation. It's done. Let them salvage what they will." She stood up and kissed Amadeus on the cheek, then smiled at Zach and kissed his cheek too. "Forgive me, Zachariah, for being a rude hostess. Welcome to my home. Amadeus will show you where to sleep."

"Thank you Ma'am. You have a lovely home, but I sleep with Amadeus."

"We know honey," she winked at him. "He will just show you where his room is."

---

Two hours later Rachael was headed home with her parents, Amadeus' family had all retired, and Amadeus was lying in bed with Zach. "Are you sure you are happy with those arrangements?"

"If William can make it all legal, then I think it should work."

"You know I love you, right?"

"I do, and I love you too. So do you think we will know by the end of the week?"

"I think that if William says he will know by Friday then he will know by Friday. Are you excited?"

"Terrified," Zach mumbled sleepily.

"Me too," Amadeus said to Zach's soft snores.

---

Zach woke up to a toddler prying his eyes open as he sat on his chest. The other one was bouncing up and down on Amadeus, who was groaning something about having to take a leak.

"Jacky, Jaime, OUT!" Amadeus raised his voice on the last word.

"But Uncle Amadeus, you missed breakfast!"

"And we missed you!" Jaime complained.

"So we thought we would come and wake you up." Jacky said.

"Yeah, you and, um, him," finished Jaime for them.

"Are they always like this?" Zach asked as he started to sit up.

"'Fraid so," Amadeus laughed. "'Him has a name. It's Zach, and if you are good he will be your Uncle and you will soon have a cousin to torment."

Jacky laughed. "Zach's a boy, he can't have babies."

"And what do you know about having babies?" Amadeus asked her.

"Well, Jaime asked Mama for a baby brother," she smirked at her twin, "but Mama said if Jaime was gonna have a brother then Daddy would hafta have him. So Jaime went an' asked Daddy for a brother, an' Daddy said that was up to Mama 'cause boys can't have babies." Then she laughed, "but Mama must have decided to let Jaime have one cause now she's fussing at Daddy about how they come in pairs and how she best not get Jaime two brothers."

Amadeus' eyes widened at the news, "And how do you feel about having a baby brother?"

"I wanna baby sister, one brother's enough."

Zach laughed.

"Well I hope you both get your wish," Amadeus said with a grin, "Now scat so Zach and I can get up and get dressed."

Jaime smiled at Zach. "Lunch'll be ready inna bit," he said as he slid off the bed. "Gramma wasn't mad ya missed breakfast. Best not push her though with lunch."

They ran out of the room, and Zach slid out of the bed to shut the door. "I guess having some alone time with you would be out of the question."

"For now. I'll make sure we have time later though."

Zach started to pull on clothes while Amadeus headed to the bathroom. Then they switched before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

"Good afternoon sleepyheads," Bethany greeted them.

Amadeus grunted at her as he sat down at the table. Zach blushed a little and managed to get out, "Afternoon."

"You know, if you are going to be a member of this family, then you are going to have to get over that blushing bit," Bethany chided him.

"I'll try," Zach said and blushed a bit more.

"Glad to see you boys aren't going to hole up all day in the bedroom," Gloria said in way of greeting.

Zach looked at Amadeus and asked, "That was an option?"

The adults in the room laughed.

"Well, not really," Martin said as he entered the room, "but Gloria, remember what Bethany and William were like when they first -- well you understand."

Zach blushed and Amadeus laughed, "Yeah I remember that too. Does the bed in her old room still squeak?"

"No we replaced the mattress in there a while back. From what William was saying over breakfast I should be looking into a king sized bed for your room?"

It was Amadeus' turn to blush. "If the paperwork all goes through we will be, well married isn't the right word," he looked to Zach for guidance.

"Joined in civil bliss?"

Bethany laughed at that, and Martin and Gloria joined her.

"Do you think it's possible?"

"Well there are no laws against it, but none for it either it seems."

"We will be setting a precedent."

"And how do you feel about that Zach?"

"I'm not so sure my folks will understand, but I don't mind so much."

"Even how the duties of each person is spelled out? I'm not quite sure how you ended up with the largest share of the childcare and housekeeping."

"Well, it's quite simple. Amadeus will be the major bread winner, we hope, and Rachael has a decent chance at a good career in her field, if she is not burdened with all the responsibilities that go along with being a wife and mother. My job is flexible so I can take on a larger portion of the wife and mother duties and some of the father duties without either Amadeus or Rachael feeling slighted. Rachael says her job may require frequent travel, for most families with young children that would prove to be a problem, but not for us. It doesn't matter if the baby is mine or Amadeus' child. I love Amadeus; therefore, I will love his child as my own."

"And when you become a famous artist and have to travel for shows?"

"The children will still have two parents at home to tend to their needs."

"And if you find someone else?"

"I've loved Amadeus for thirteen years."

"But you've not had to live with him during that time." Bethany added with a grin.

"We will be rectifying that once we get back to school with the papers," Amadeus said as he reached over to lay his hand over Zach's hand. "I know I didn't really get the chance to ask you to be my partner, but I can ask you if you will live with me."

"Your apartment is a little small, Amadeus."

"I think Tim will find it to his liking. We can live in Whitman hall."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, your mini studio is already there, and the spare bedroom can be my office. I think it would work for the rest of the semester."

"If Tim would agree."

"Call him and ask," Amadeus handed over his cell phone.

A few minutes later it was a done deal.

"What about next year?"

"Next year we will find a house to live in. Three adults all in school and an infant to tend to, I think we need the space. Your scholarship should help pay for your living expenses. Mine does, and I'm sure Rachael's does."

"What if Rachael can't transfer?"

"Then we will work something out."

"I can paint anywhere. She's going to need my help with the baby if she intends to finish school."

Amadeus nodded. "It will work out."

Zach smiled and his stomach rumbled as the food was placed on the table.

Gloria tsked, "Growing boys," and filled his plate.

---

Spring break flew by with a whirlwind of activities. Rachael was invited along on many of their adventures and on Tuesday she apologized to both the men for being so moody.

Wednesday, William called to let them know he would be dropping by that night with some legal papers for the three of them.

"So will we be able to?" Amadeus asked his brother-in-law.

"There are some legal ramifications that we are looking into, especially when it comes to the children of your union and the will. But I think it will all be worked out. Have you three decided how to go about celebrating this -- union?"

"Well, we had thought to have a private party in May, after school lets out for everyone and our friends are back home. Not everyone is summonsed home for spring break."

"Rachael will be visibly pregnant by then."

"And we should know which of us is the father in the event anyone asks."

"Ah, yes, good point," they chit-chatted for another fifteen minutes then Amadeus said good-bye.

Later that night the three were waiting for William with some uncertainty. "What kind of papers?" Rachael asked for the dozenth time.

"He said he don't know, Rachael," Zach said testily. His mind was so unfocused that he was unable to even sketch anything other than random doodles in his notebook. He hated waiting and waiting with someone who constantly asked questions was beginning to grate his nerves.

"William didn't exactly say, just they were important," Amadeus told her again as he flipped through the television channels. There wasn't much on, but it was better than just sitting around doing nothing at all. He finally settled on a sitcom and the three of them fell into a companionable silence as they watched. As the show's closing credits rolled across the screen, William arrived.

"So are you three absolutely certain you want to go through with this?" he asked them as he opened his briefcase and pulled out a rather thick manila folder.

"Yes," Amadeus said, and the others echoed him.

"Well then each of you take one of these and read it, initial each page that you did read it, then sign it at the bottom of the last page." He handed them each a paper clipped copy eight pages thick.

While they were busy reading and initialing, William went into the kitchen to get some refreshment.

"William, what does it mean here?" Zach pointed to a section of the page.

William read it. "Well that basically means that all three of you will be fully responsible for any children this union might produce without any regard to actual paternity."

"So, if the baby turns out to be Amadeus' then according to this, I'm the daddy?"

"Yes, you are the daddy even if the baby is biologically Amadeus' child."

"How will the birth certificate read?"

"I'm not sure. I hadn't considered the birth certificate."

"I think we should put the biological father on the birth certificate," Rachael said.

"But what if this baby is mine and the next one is his?" Zach asked, "I mean we know they are really only 'half-siblings' but won't that mess up somewhere maybe in their minds that they are not really siblings?"

"So what are you suggesting Zach?" William asked.

"I don't know exactly. Is there any way to put all of us on there?"

"No, there isn't, but you don't have to show anyone a birth certificate. You can have adoption papers that list all three of us as the parents."

"We still need to come to some sort of agreement as to how to fill out the birth certificate," Rachael said. "I think the biological father should go on it."

"I would have to agree," Amadeus said. "Besides, the children will be raised as siblings. They won't know they are not siblings unless we tell them."

"And what should we tell them?"

"This is obviously bothering you Zach. What is giving you such a hard time?"

Zach sighed and thought a minute about William's question, "I think it mainly has to do with what if we break up? How will it affect the children if one daddy stays and the other goes, or if both daddies go?"

"How about we don't think about breaking up before we even get together?" Amadeus said gently, "If we do break up, we will work it out in the paperwork at that time. Besides, I don't planning on leaving either one of you anytime soon."

Zach nodded and initialed the page. He wasn't one hundred percent happy with the arrangement but was learning quickly that compromise was the only way this relationship was going to work.

William took their pages when they had finished and switched them around for initials and signatures which took considerably less time this round as they didn't need to read everything a second time. Then they repeated the procedure a third time.

"Just give me a minute," William said as he signed the pages as the notary. "There you go," he handed them one copy. "This one will be filed with the courts and this one will stay at my office as a legal back up, if it's ever needed."

"So, is that all?" Amadeus asked.

"That's it. You are legally, civilly united. Congratulations, and you may both kiss the bride."

Zach and Amadeus grinned at each other and then leaned across Rachael to kiss in front of her. Then they turned and each kissed her on the cheek.

"Amadeus, you and Rachael have an appointment with the Justice of the Peace on Friday to make this fully legal for the requirements of grandfather's will. Zach, she is expecting you too. Welcome to the family Zach and Rachael."

About that time, Bethany and two sets of parents came out of the kitchen with a bottle of wine and cake with two grooms and a bride on top. Rachael's parents weren't entirely happy about this decision but had been convinced that it was in their best interest to support their daughter.

---

Upon his return to school, Zach omitted any change in his roommate or change in his relationship status with his parents. However, it was rather common knowledge among his friends and the staff. The dean of students had carefully read their civil union contract before he declared whatever they did legal, even if he did chide Amadeus on the moral behavior of teachers and students. Amadeus assured everyone that he would never look at another student in any way, shape, or form again. Due to the papers, his assurance was accepted.

The inclusion of Zach's paintings in art show he had been working so hard toward did much better than expected. He sold a few paintings and more than a few prints, earning him a tidy sum of cash as well as a bit of renown. His name was getting to be known in some areas and that made Amadeus smile although it still made Zach blush. Rachael even called one day and told him that one of his paintings showed up in a friend of hers family home. Her father had bought it on a whim stating that one day it would be worth good money. Granted it was one of the tamer ones, Rachael assured him, but still, they were selling.

The end of the semester quickly arrived and with it, Zach's parents. They had collected his stepsister from her college the day before and were now there to collect him, u-haul in tow. Amadeus opened the door and asked them to enter.

"Where's Zachariah?" asked his mother who went up with his stepsister while his stepfather stayed in the car as it was parked in a tow away zone.

"He's at his main art studio finishing up something."

"And his roommate, um, Tim?"

"I would imagine he's in his apartment."

"His apartment?"

"So who lives here?" Zach's mother checked the room number.

"You have the right room. Zach lives here, with me." Amadeus sighed. This would have been so much easier over the phone. He picked up his cell phone and dialed Zach's cell phone number. It answered on the second ring. "Your folks are here." There was an audible squeak on the other end. "Yes, love you too. Hurry." Amadeus smiled at his mother-in-law. "Would you care for some refreshment while you wait?"

"You have the phone number for his studio? Last time there wasn't a phone in there."

"There still isn't a phone in there. Zach has a cell phone. It makes keeping in touch easier with how busy we are."

"I think I'll just go pack Zach's things," his mother said as she headed to the bedroom.

"Mom doesn't believe in cell phones," the girl said from the door.

"No?" Deus asked with a grin. "Do you think she'll be able to tell Zach's side from mine or should I go rescue her?"

The girl laughed. "I'm Zoe, by the way. She don't believe in a lot of things that a lot of the other kids get to do. I didn't believe Zach when he got to go to college so early and saw so many new and different things. This year has been, well, I've learned a lot and not all of it out of a book." She smiled at Amadeus. "You must be his dream lover."

"Dream lover?"

"That's what I used to call the boy he drew all the time. You look just like him. Sounds better than imaginary friend; because you don't seem very imaginary. There was a girl in a lot of the pictures too. Do you have her stashed around here somewhere?"

"Not exactly around here. She goes to college at another school not too far from here. We plan on spending the summer together."

"You knew exactly who I was talking about," Zoe said with some awe.

"Her name is Rachael. I think you two would like each other, eventually."

Zach's mother came back out of the bedroom. "There's only one bed in there and there's two sizes of clothing in the drawers and closet. Not all of that is Zach's stuff."

"Well I hope not as some of it is Amadeus' things," Zach said as he stepped through the door catching the end of the conversation. "We share a bed, Mother, it's what lovers do. I'm not going home with you. I know you got those messages."

"If you don't come home where will you stay?"

"With me," Deus said casually. "I mean isn't that where one's spouse generally stays?" Deus looked at Zach. "You didn't tell her?"

"I sent the invitation. She hasn't RSVPed yet."

"She's your mother! You twit! You don't treat her like any other guest." Deus smacked him on the back of the head playfully. "Don't you know she needs time to buy a new dress and stuff. So does Zoe here, and what if your father doesn't have a proper suit?"

"They still have two weeks."

"What are you two going on about?" Zoe asked.

"Our commitment ceremony is in two weeks."

Zach's mother fainted.

Deus looked at her and shook his head, "I'm not kissing her."

Zach seemed a bit confused for a moment, then laughed.

"What do you mean?" Zoe asked.

"Well you see," Zach told his sister, "that's how this whole thing started..."

The End.