Double Cross - 1. Chapter 1

“I’m going to ask Blaine about his scars.”

“That question is a bit personal for someone you just met.” Jamie offered up the protest but knew it was a losing battle even as he spoke. Once his wife made up her mind to do something, he was rarely successful in diverting her. After five years of marriage, he’d learned to choose his battles carefully when it came to persuading her to his way of thinking.

“I’ll be very professional about it. I’m a nurse after all.” She patted his arm reassuringly then popped a toothbrush in her mouth and finished speaking around it. "The scars are from a surgery, but there are very few procedures requiring cuts across the chest. Most surgeries are a midline incision.”

She spit and rinsed.

Jamie followed suit, spitting the minty foam into the sink and rinsing. “Just remember, we’re sharing this place with Blaine and his partner for the next week. I’d prefer to be comfortable in their company while we’re here. I don’t want to create an awkward situation.”

“You’re too sensitive Jamie. You're like an old woman, always wringing your hands.” Trish rolled her eyes at him in the mirror and walked over to the open suitcase by the bed to retrieve a nightshirt. She began stripping off her shorts and top. “Are you in the mood for sex tonight?”

The little dig at his manhood was the latest in a number of recent comments she’d made. He could hardly blame her. Not after what she’d seen six months ago. Jamie nodded, trying to convey more enthusiasm for the lovemaking than he felt. “Of course. First night of our holiday. We’re here on the island for a full week of sun. And sex.”

He caught Trish around the waist, toppling them onto the bed in the large room they’d rented at a Bed & Breakfast on the small string of islands in the Pacific. She willingly curled into him as they kissed, hooking a leg over his hip and running it down his body. Jamie moved a hand up her side, over the indentation at her waist and along her ribcage to the soft, malleable mound of a breast.

The sting of her words faded as she pressed eagerly against him. She was perfect. Soft skin, thick hair that fell just past her shoulders. She was a few inches shorter than he and curvy in all the right places. One might be inclined to call her stocky, but Jamie thought of her as solid. Substantial. Trisha wasn’t a typical beauty, but the first time he’d seen her, he’d been unable to keep from staring. She’d just flicked the ball downfield in a game of field
hockey, setting it up for a teammate to score. She was brash and happy and bull doggish on the field. Despite her rather ordinary looks, Trisha had turned out to be extremely popular. She had a wide circle of friends, both men and women. That Jamie had been the one to land her had surprised everyone.

He felt himself responding to the lovemaking as Trisha released a little moan into his mouth, letting him know he was making all the right moves. He broke off their kiss and trailed lips down her neck, along the collarbone and down to the puckered nipples tipping her breasts.

They’d planned this getaway for a year, but in the last few months it had taken on increasing importance in his mind. The easy communication they’d enjoyed in the first years together had slowly eroded, breaking down completely after that disaster last summer. If they were going to make it even another year into marriage, they needed a breakthrough on the communications front. He cupped a breast, teasing its nipple with a pointed tongue. Trisha again murmured her appreciation and he sucked, their lovemaking following familiar choreography.

Unexpectedly his thoughts drifted to the couple they’d met this evening in the hot tub by the pool area of the inn. Silas and Blaine. The male couple had been warm, friendly and gregarious. Blaine was the one with the scars that had caught Trisha’s attention, but Silas was the one she had fawned over most of the evening.

As if she read his thoughts, Trish brought up their hot tub companions just as he worked his hand between her legs. “I can’t believe we’re vacationing with an actual celebrity. Do you know Silas was on the “Today” show just last week?”

“Mmm,” Jamie turned his attention to the other breast while his fingers sought out her clit, pressing and rolling the sensitive organ. He had never heard the name Silas Sommers before today. Upon introduction to the other guests in residence, Trish had greeted the man with a gushing familiarity. “Sizzilin’ with Silas” was evidently a highly popular cooking show. The man had an engaging personality. Jamie had to admit he had thoroughly enjoyed the evening in the company of Silas and the quieter Blaine.

He had been taken aback at his wife’s fascination with the celebrity chef. He hadn’t realized she followed cooking shows so closely. After they’d joined the male couple in the hot tub, Trisha had monopolized Silas in a discussion about the merits of a variety of other cooking shows she watched.

Blaine had observed the interaction between Trish and his companion with amusement. When their banter had turned to playful flirting, he’d delivered a wink in Jamie’s direction, a silent message that Jamie shouldn’t take the teasing between their partners seriously. Jamie had returned the wink with a rueful smile. As a couple, he was the contemplative introvert while Trish was the boisterous extrovert. Blaine was clearly the same foil to Silas and he’d felt a connection with the youngish looking man across from him.

He moved Trish underneath him and kneeled over her. She left off caressing his back and finally moved a hand up to grasp his cock. She pulled and he returned the favor, fingers working her more rapidly. They dipped into the natural lubrication she produced and then moved back up, again pulling and rolling, trying to find the right pressure.

Trish’s eyes drifted closed. Jamie moved in for another kiss when she spoke again. “He’s bigger than I thought he’d be.”

Jamie paused. No way in hell was his wife talking about Silas’s cock. Not now. Sure, he’d noticed the man’s size too. All of them, except Blaine, had been naked in the hot tub. Silas definitely had no reason to be shy about going around nude. Jaime rolled onto his back and looked up at the paddles of the slowly spinning ceiling fan. “You’d wondered about size before even meeting him?”

“Well, he’s huge. You could see that on TV, of course. Any man standing next to him looks small in comparison. Apparently he played football in college. Everyone thought he’d have a career in the pros but he went on to cooking school instead. In person his size is even more impressive. Did you notice his shoulders? Massive.”

So Trish wasn’t talking about Silas’s cock. She was commenting on the overall stature of the man. It was easy to imagine Silas toeing the defensive line on a professional football team. He had the height and general bulk of an athletic warrior. Jamie was well aware of his own body’s deficiencies in comparison.

Most of the time he thought of himself as an ordinary guy. He stood a couple inches shy of 6 feet tall. He was generally in good shape, though his office job had left him a little softer and less defined than he’d been in college. He’d always been pleased with the size of his cock though. Eight inches. He’d measured. However at the moment, he wasn’t feeling too impressive. He also suspected Silas might also have him beat in that department.

Sensing his withdrawal, Trisha scooted closer and snuggled under his arm. She traced fingers down his torso, tugging lightly on the sparse hair across his chest. “I don’t know why I keep bringing him up. I guess it was just such a surprise to meet him here. Plus, I’m tired from the flight. And excited to start this vacation.”

She ran through her list of apologies for breaking the mood, then rolled on top of him. With a gentle kiss on his lips, she whispered “Should we start again?”

Jamie was half tempted to claim he was tired, but he didn’t want to begin their vacation that way. Threading a hand through her hair, he held her head in place for a longer kiss. “Let’s absolutely start again.”

This time Trisha kissed her way down his body. She knelt between his legs and he spread them wide to accommodate her. The simple action always felt somehow shameless to him and he thickened even as her mouth covered him. She sucked, working his shaft. Jamie closed his eyes, a confusing array of images drifting through his mind. The first time they’d made love, his freshly shaved legs in a silky skirt, the beach where they’d spent their honeymoon, Blaine winking at him from across the hot tub.

Eventually though, there was only her mouth. At the point he was tempted to grab her head and push deep, he flipped her onto her back and slid in. Both of them groaned at the tight, full feeling. Jamie pushed and Trish bucked up to meet him. He dipped his head into the crook of her neck allowing the parade of images to continue to play out as he thrust into her.

The next morning, they walked into the common eating area holding hands and found Silas and Blaine, the only other guests in residence, already enjoying breakfast. Jamie seated Trish at the table. She only drank coffee in the morning, preferring to skip the meal altogether. He approached the sideboard laid out with eggs, waffles, bacon, ham and assorted pastries and fruits. Sliding a heavy white plate from the stack at the end of the table, he loaded a couple waffles onto it.

“Be sure to try the raspberry syrup. You won’t be disappointed.”

He turned and found Blaine standing next to him, apparently in line for a second serving of breakfast. He was surprised to find himself at eye level with the man. He’d had the impression last night that Blaine was a slight fellow. Indeed, he was quite slender, but not nearly as short as Jamie had thought. Silas’s size, Jamie concluded, had made the other man seem smaller than he actually was.

He spooned some of the recommended syrup onto his waffles. “Are you a chef as well?”

Blaine laughed. “No. I just like to eat.”

Jamie eyed the man’s trim frame. “Are you sure?”

Blaine laughed again and Jamie decided he liked the sound. It was a real laugh, joyful and free. They took their plates back to the table and seated themselves next to their respective partners. Trisha and Silas had picked up where they left off last night, in a bantering rapid fire discussion about the merits of a particular brand of baking dishes.

Jamie had been unaware that his wife’s culinary interests were refined enough include opinions on specific utensils. If one of the purposes of vacations was to learn something new, mission accomplished. He’d already learned something new about his wife.

Jamie shoveled some of the waffle with its raspberry syrup into his mouth. He rolled the tart, fruity flavors over his tongue before swallowing and looked across the table at Blaine. “You were right about the syrup.”

The man smiled. “What are your plans for today?”

“Driving tour around the island. We want to get a sense of the layout and also pick up a few things in town that we didn’t pack.”

Blaine described the drive he and Silas had taken at the start of their stay, recommended a couple eateries in town and put forward a few suggestions for other activities. “This is the third year Silas and I have visited the island. He’s going to be doing some filming for his show while we’re here this time.”

Jamie found himself staring at Blaine as the man talked. There was something…sweet…about the man’s face. Something about the eyes, a delicacy that was at once boyish and pretty. He felt he should have been uncomfortable in thinking a man’s face sweet but there was no better word to describe the countenance.

This wasn’t attraction, he’d assured himself. He’d never been uncomfortable around gay men but neither had he found men attractive. Even with his own peculiarities, those with which Trish was so uncomfortable, he hadn’t been sexually drawn toward men. Still, there was something about Blaine’s eyes that was rather fascinating to look at. Warmth unfurled in Jamie’s stomach, but before he could analyze it, Trisha drew his attention.

“Yes, Blaine was just filling me in.” Jamie addressed the couple across the table. “You’ll have to let us know how it is.”

The two couples departed for their respective destinations a short time later. Jamie and Trisha’s meandering drive along the two lane road ringing the island brought back memories of the getaways they’d made when first dating. Soon they were recalling some of their more adventurous weekend-long dates. The day was warm, the locals friendly, and he and Trish relaxed. They almost arrived at the breezy, comfortable rapport they’d had during the early years of their marriage. The island was isolated, small and contained, and felt very far from the rest of the world.

They loitered over a dinner of overpriced seafood, and the lingering daylight quickly disappeared as they took the winding road back to their inn on the north side of the island.

“I can’t believe how dark it is here once the sun goes down.” Trish peered out the window, trying to make out the dark shapes they were passing along the side of the road. Streetlights were few and far between.

Jamie strained to identify their turnoff and was relieved to see luminarias at the long driveway leading up to the guest house. Tiki torches bathed the lanai in a welcoming glow. The pool, surrounded by faux rocks over which water cascaded, glistened invitingly.

“Let’s head down for a midnight swim. We should end every day skinny dipping in the pool while we’re here.”

“Skinny dipping, eh?”

“I want to feel free while we’re here. Unrestrained. Unshackled. We can be that way this week, can’t we?” Trisha spoke eagerly, an urgency to her voice.

“Unshackled?”

“Let’s just let things happen this week. Not force anything. Let’s just be. Take things as they come.”

“Starting with a midnight swim in the nude.”

“Yes!” Trisha laughed a little wildly.

Jamie agreed, falling in with her sense of adventure, and a few minutes later the two of them made their way down to the pool in short, white robes offered by the inn. Together they shucked their robes and dove into the dark waters.

Trisha came up with a yelp and immediately struck out for the steps on the other end of the pool. Jamie was right behind her. “This water is freezing!"

“C’mon. The hot tub is behind those palms.” Jamie planted a quick, saline flavored kiss on her lips as they emerged and pulled her toward the partially obscured tub. They slid in, the hot water a reverse shock from the cold on their goose fleshed skin.

Once there, they found themselves seated across from their companions of last night, Blaine and Silas. Jamie saw they were neck deep and had clearly broken off a kiss upon his and Trish’s arrival. “Oh. Sorry for the interruption.”

“Not at all.” Silas answered. “We weren’t fucking. Yet.”

Jamie’s face heated, but next to him Trish laughed. “We had plans to do the same in the pool until we discovered how cold it was.”

He slanted a surprised look at his wife. He didn’t recall any sort of discussion about sex in the pool. Not that he was opposed, but Trisha spoke as if it was a matter of course. Again he was amazed at her reaction to the celebrity chef. She clearly wanted to impress him. Yet another side to his wife of which he had been unaware. The open sexual banter surprised him too.

Not that she’d ever been exactly prudish. Of the two of them he’d always considered himself more modest, or perhaps more shy, about sex. But, their sex life had definitely suffered a serious setback a few months ago when Trisha had arrived home unexpectedly and found him wearing a summer dress. She’d been unaware of his interest in cross dressing prior to discovering him in the white cotton frock. To make matters worse, he’d been in the midst of an intense masturbation session. She walked in to find him on the couch, legs spread wide, one hand downthe front of the nylons covering his legs. He’d been furiously jacking his cock with one hand while the other squeezed his chest, pinching hard at a nipple. The shock on her face had been profound and seeing it, Jamie had come in a massive orgasm.

She’d refused to talk about what she’d seen for a full week. When she finally had, she demanded to know whether he was gay.

“No! Trisha, I love you. I want you as much as I ever have.”

“Bisexual, then.” She insisted.

“I just like wearing women’s clothes. It has nothing to do with being attracted to men.” He hadn’t wanted to address the bisexual question. He didn’t think he was bi. Men didn’t turn his head. But, he couldn’t deny feeling very feminine at times. That wasn’t gay, was it? He didn’t know. But he did know he didn’t want to lose his wife. Not over this.

Trish had considered his response. “I didn’t like that get up you were in.”

“You won’t see it again.” His heart had pounded in relief that she wasn’t talking about leaving him, leaving the marriage. “Honestly, I hardly ever dress that way anymore. I don’t know what got into me that day. Really, I don’t even need to do that. It’s not that important to me.”

This was true, he reasoned. He could do without the women’s clothing. He’d gone through a phase of cross-dressing in the early years after college. In the privacy of his home, he’d surrender to the coy, mincing girl he sometimes imagined himself as. But once he’d started dating Trisha, he’d purged his closet of all the feminine attire. Buying the summer dress a few months ago had been an impulse. A relapse. He didn’t need it.

Trisha had turned her back on him, giving attention to cleaning dishes in the sink. “If that’s what you need to get off, do it. I just don’t want to see it.”

Jamie drew in a breath to respond to that, but Trisha had shot him a dark look. “And, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

And that was that. They hadn’t brought up the subject again. In the months since sex, when they had it, had felt different. Mechanically it was the same, but now when they made love they each seemed to be in their own worlds. Their own fantasies. Last night had been a little better, but in the end he had still checked out.

Their distance in the bedroom had crept into other parts of their lives. Trisha had become snippy with him. He was adrift and unsure. He felt guilty over the rift in the relationship, yet also relieved that she had left a door open for him to explore the cross-dressing in private. The new construct of their marriage wasn’t going to work long-term. He had hoped they could use this time on the island to figure out how to move forward.

“Something about water always puts me in the mood for sex. Lakes, pools, hot tubs, showers. Just about any type of water makes me horny as hell.”

This was from Blaine, and said with a smile as he stood and leaned across Silas to turn on the jets. Bubbles tickled up among the four of them and leant a pleasant gurgle to the quiet night. The scars on his chest were pronounced, even under the soft lighting from the torches. Heat from the water had turned the damaged skin a deep shade of pink. The action also drew Trish’s attention. Jamie was reminded of their conversation the previous night, bracing even as his wife opened her mouth to ask her questions.

“You know, I work as an O.R. nurse back home and I don’t recall seeing scars quite like yours, Blaine.” She smiled sweetly at him. “I know it’s none of my business but I can’t help being curious. What necessitated the surgery?”

Now it was Silas’s turn to smile. He said nothing though, closing his eyes and dropping his head back on the edge of the tub. Jamie watched his large hand come down on the lightly muscled shoulder of the younger man. A gesture of support? Of comfort?

For his part Blaine eyed them both, eyes passing from Trisha to Jamie and back. With a little shrug, he seemed to come to a decision. “The surgery was a procedure I had as part of gender reassignment. A mastectomy. I started out life as a girl.”

Blaine watched both of them, not exactly tense, but clearly observing their reactions. Silas, too, had lifted his head and was watching the interplay. Jamie cleared his throat, unsure what to say, aware of an intense curiosity about Blaine and wishing desperately he knew how to respond.

“I wondered as much. What an interesting experience. Sweetheart, maybe you and Blaine have something in common,” his wife gave him a little nudge.

“You’re both gay?” Her last question had been directed to both Blaine and Silas.

“Sure. I’d call myself gay.” Blaine shrugged.

“I’d call myself open-minded.” Silas parried.

“How open minded?” Trish pressed. “Do you sleep with women as well as men? Or just with Blaine?”

Why couldn’t she just leave the questions alone? Part of Jamie wanted to sink under the water, but a larger part of him was as curious as his wife. The warm feeling he’d experienced talking to Blaine this morning was back and morphing almost into giddiness. He looked at the man across from him, hoping the look was casual.

He couldn’t help probing Blaine’s features in more detail. That fineness about the eyes, the fullness to the lips, those subtle features had caused Jamie to think the combination sweet. If you knew to look, you could see the blended gender markers. He was a pretty, pretty man.

His wife’s comment about he and Blaine having something in common seemed to have gone unnoticed. He didn’t have anything in common with him, did he? First off, Blaine had left off being a woman to become a man. He, Jamie, certainly didn’t want a sex change. But the knowledge that he was sitting so close to someone who had shucked their birth gender was titillating; he couldn’t help responding to Blaine in a very visceral, heated way. The shy girl in him was aroused. She wanted Blaine’s attention.

“Silas and I aren’t an exclusive item.” Blaine responded to Trisha’s question, but looked at Jamie when he spoke. The warmth intensified. He felt queerly exposed under Blaine’s gaze and looked away in confusion. His eyes fell onto Trisha’s legs. She had let them float out in front of her. Silas, seated across from her, had done the same. Their limbs were lifted by the bubbling water, jostling against each other.

I should be jealous, he thought. But he felt only more of that strange, happy giddiness. He felt not like Trisha’s husband at all, but instead like a girlfriend. Both of them carefree girls, out for a merry time, wishing to do nothing more than flirt and tease whomever caught their eye. Jamie flushed at the bewildering thought, sweat breaking out on his brow; he hauled his body out of the water and seated himself on the edge of the hot tub to cool off.

Blaine did the same, and Jamie saw he was again wearing swim trunks while the rest of them were unclothed. It occurred to him to wonder why that was. Perhaps Blaine had further scarring he wanted to conceal. Or perhaps he’d had no surgery, which would mean Blaine still sported the female genitals with which he’d been born.

The image that came to mind was both right and wrong. It aroused and further confused Jamie. The thought of a nude Blaine, so prettily male on top and muscularly female below made him uncomfortably hard. He drew his legs up to conceal his sudden arousal.

Blaine sat loosely, dangling his legs in the water with one of the long limbs draped over Silas’s shoulder. The man’s large hand came up to caress it, even has his legs continued to mingle with Trisha’s under the water. Blaine’s pretty, fine eyes stared at Jamie, taking inventory, and then he smiled his easy smile. “What did you think of the island on your drive today?”

“It was just as you described. Quiet, picturesque and filled with friendly locals.” Jamie welcomed the conversation and was foolishly proud of himself for being able to respond at all. For a while, as the four of them recounted their day’s activities, everything seemed normal. Friendly conversation between two couples.

At other times it seemed there was only he and Blaine communicating, as if his wife and Silas were incidental to the interaction. They, too, seemed to have a similar experience, staring intently at each other and sparing only brief glances at Blaine and himself.

“It’s a romantic place.” Blaine was saying now, about the general atmosphere of the island.

Silas looked up at Blaine on cue, and murmured his agreement. “A perfect getaway.”

From his perch on the side of the hot tub, Blaine leaned down and brushed his lips over Silas’. The kiss began as a light caress and then deepened. Jamie and Trish watched their lips work each other, suck and probe and taste. There was no shame in it, no shyness. Blaine briefly raised his head and gave Jamie another look, then directed his eyes towards Trisha before dropping his lips back down on his companion’s. Taking the cue, Jamie reached for his wife, slipping into the water next to her and tipping her head towards his.

She returned his kiss hotly, aroused from watching the two men and from the underwater flirtation with Silas. Her hands slid up his chest, stopping at his pecs and squeezing the flesh there. Suddenly, he once again was not her husband, but a girlfriend and he imagined their kiss as a sapphic embrace. They were two lovers, displaying their queer desire for the equally queer couple across from them. He was stiffly aroused, stimulated with strange thoughts and images and the very real immediate experience.

The water shifted around him and Trish, a small wake moving and lifting them. Fingers, not Trisha’s, touched his jaw line, turning his head. The kiss ended and then resumed. It was Blaine, he knew, kissing him now and Silas was kissing Trisha. He paused, wondering at this new sensation, these new lips. Then the lips were gone and he opened his eyes. Blaine was holding him in the water, staring down at him with those dark, pretty eyes that suddenly seemed much older than the man himself. Jaime waited for what would happen next, staring back at Blaine with a drugged, heavy lidded neediness.

“Is this what you want?” The words were whispered, breathed right into his ear. Still Blaine supported his weightless body in the water, but didn’t move further. Jaime knew he wouldn’t move until Jaime answered.

“Yes,” he chose and immediately felt the arms around him tighten. Lips and teeth pulled and sucked at the sensitive skin of his neck. Blaine stepped closer and Jaime wrapped his legs around the slender man. When Blaine’s hands dropped lower, cupped his buttocks and squeezed, Jamie clutched at his shoulders. Blaine’s mouth continued its kissing assault on his body, sucking along the collarbone and dipping lower, midline, to the non-existent cleavage. Jamie did nothing, could do nothing, but hold on and allow Blaine to pleasure his body. He was vaguely aware of Trisha next to him, of Silas holding her in a similar embrace. The two of them were being ravished expertly by their confident, knowing companions, and he whimpered
soundlessly at the knowledge.

He had nothing to do but hang on to Blaine and ride the amazing sensations undulating through him. His head dropped back, exposing his neck when Blaine’s tongue worked its way back up from his chest. There was nothing tentative in the approach. The licking, sucking bites were firm, insistent. He was being devoured, eaten up. He’d never been pursued with such aggression and it stunned and stimulated him. His cock rode the space between their bodies, engorged and needy.

“Please-“

The entreaty hung on the night air, a hoarse, begging plea from his mouth. His cock needed attention. It sought pressure, friction. Jamie tightened his legs, starting a rubbing, frotting motion into the person holding him. Blaine allowed this only briefly though, before lifting him upwards. The smooth redwood planks of the deck slapped his ass as Blaine set him on the side of the pool, standing between his legs. A gentle push had him laying back. The view of the stars through the tall trees was as dizzying as the sensations racing along his nerve endings.

Finally, at last, a fist grasped him. A broad tongue licked his ball sac, fondled the delicate orbs. Then a warm mouth descended, lips stretching over his cock, fitting itself to him. Mouth, tongue moved down the shaft. He closed his eyes, deliriously abandoning himself to the eager, gagging sucking of his cock. His shoulder was jostled and he turned to find Trish lying next to him. She, too, was spread open, and she thrust herself against Silas, whose head was buried between her legs.

Their eyes met. She looked dreamy and blissful and those sensations washed through him and into him. He was malleable, submissive, given over to the hands holding his hips, the mouth working him. Jamie closed his eyes, trying to extend the gorgeous, inexplicable experience. Then Trisha purred her climax into the night air and he followed her, releasing spurt after spurt into the firm seal of Blaine’s mouth.

Trisha curled into him as they came down from their high. He nuzzled her hair, breathed her scent and felt himself to be equally soft and languid and sensual. On the other side of him, Blaine was bent over the pool deck, head resting on his arms with Silas behind him. The frantic slap, slap, slap of their joining filled the night, not quite covering Blaine’s moaning pants. Silas erupted with a growl, dropping onto Blaine’s back as the younger man came, both of them groaning through gritted teeth.

The humid, night air embraced the couples on the deck. Jamie looked at the stars, stroked Trisha’s back, feeling marvelously easy and unraveled. As his eyes closed, he wondered what the morning would bring. Had he and Trisha taken a step toward solving their marital issues or had the night’s experience only added to the complications?