His True Colors - 7. Chapter 7: Confusion

Chapter 7: Confusion

"What a beautiful boy." Jack Belzer thought as he touched the unconscious Kade. He too used to look so innocent and small, before he was ruined.

"I thought I would enjoy fucking him, I couldn't even cum." Jack looked at himself, and the bruises he wore. Would he come back today? He always comes twice a month to enjoy his conquest.....

The thought of "him" coming back made Jack sick. In fact, he felt sick with himself. "I don't know what the hell I am doing, I don't know why I am doing this!" Panic flooded Jack as he paced around the room.

Ever since he laid eyes on Kade, he felt different. It triggered something. He wanted to get even with "him". He saw a younger version of himself in Kade. Shy, nice and innocent looking.

"I thought this was supposed to be empowering, all I feel is disgust." Jack decided to wake Kade up, but he was still groggy.

After the first incident, Jack developed an interest in men. He wasn't sure if he would have felt differently if it didn't happen, but after so many times with "him" he just could only feel attracted to men. Like it was muscle memory ingrained into him.

"Hey Kade." Jack spoke softly, while Kade rubbed his eyes.

Kade froze and looked at Jack in horror. That horror quickly turned to fury. "What the fuck do you want from me now?"

Kade got out of the bed in alarming speed and quickly got dressed. "What's wrong Jack? Cat got your tongue? What the fuck do you want from me? Oh right, you want me to be your personal sex slave right? Well fuck off!"

Jack knew he deserved it, but he couldn't let him know. "Listen fag, very closely before I beat the shit out of you!". He pinned Kade into the wall, turning Kade's anger into fear. Even while naked, Jack could still create fear.

"When I call for you, you will come to me. You are my sex slave now. If you don't I will make you suffer. I don't care about school authority. I've got nothing to lose. If you tell anyone, I *will* find you, and I *will* hurt you."

Kade nodded tearfully, but the ruse was irritating Jack. "Like hell! This tough guy shit is annoying. When I call for him, its not going to be for sex...I have something special planned for that. Something that I truly deserve!"

He backed away from Kade, satisfied that his act worked. His act always worked. It's the only way he felt strong. He didn't want to go outside feeling the way he did after "he" finished his work with Jack. The way he treated Mom and his brothers were terrible, but I knew I was sparing them from worse treatment that was reserved for me. If he touched them, I would kill the motherfucker.

He mentally sighed. "If only It was that easy. You can't do shit to a guy that big." He tried to put the odds in his favor with various objects, but no matter what object he found to use as a weapon, he could never win. He would be punished even worse if he fought back. He would never try that again.

In his thoughts, Jack had been getting Kade's stuff together. Jack wanted to be alone with his thoughts....

So naturally Jack felt It was time for Kade to go."Kade, take your school stuff and get the fuck out." Kade silently got his stuff and made way for the door, but was startled by a loud crash.

Jack heard shouting and crying. The door and been forced open. A woman was crying. He knew it was his mom. The male voice shouting made his stomach drop.

He was here.

Fear crept into Jack. "He can't see Kade, I don't know what he will do. SHIT!"

He looked at his window, but the time it would take to roll out the ladder for Kade to get out, and for Jack to roll it back in would make it obvious. He didn't want to get it any worse than he usually did.

With shame he looked at his closet, and knew what to do.

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The loud noise startled Kade, and the shouting made him very uncomfortable. He looked at Jack, whose demeanor had completely changed.

He looked like a scared little boy.

His body was quivering, and shaking slightly, his eyes gleamed with fear.

But then he straightened up, once he saw me looking. Though not completely back to his asshole self, Jack grabbed me and started looking around.

When he spoke it was as if a different person was talking. It was the same voice, but it sounded different. It wasn't full of hate. It seemed sincere. "I need you to hide in my closet. No matter what you see, you need to be as quiet as possible. When its over, you can get out through my window. But please- just don't make a sound. Please."

Kade hated Jack, he wanted to make him pay for what he did, but he didn't like this sitation, so for now he would do as he was told.

He got into Jack's closet. Surprisngly it wasn't dusty. It was filled with assorted boardgames and differnet sized backpacks. He asumed it was from various years in school from elemetary to present.

In the backpack were lots of pictures. In fact each backpack had pictures that seem to correspond with the school year. He looked at the smallest one that had "first grade"written in a colorful yet faded print.

In the pictures, he saw a small Jack grinning up with a contagious smile remenisct of his little brothers. He looked at some second grade pictures and noticed he no longer smiled.

The screaming grew louder, until he heard a loud banging on the the door. As Kade peered through the slits in the closet, Jack unlocked the door. It flew open at the force of the violent man's kicking, and the violet man grabbed Jack's hair. Kade could smell the alcohol even from the closet. He then punched Jack in the face and kicked him in the stomach.

Kade didn't like where this was going....

The drunken man unleashed a flurry of attacks on Jack, who was desperately trying to protect himself. He heard crying from Jack who screamed "STOP!" repeatedly. Then he tearfully added "Dad, please just stop!".

Kade turned away. His stomach dropped and he felt like he was going to vomit. But he couldn't. Not here. Not now.

Jack's dad retaliated by punching him again. "You filthy faggot, I told you not to call me that! So you're gonna pay extra!" With that he took off his belt and started whipping Jack's bare body.

Jack's crying grew louder, and more like a child. It grew worse when the belt dropped and Kade heard him unzip his filthy jeans.

"Please daddy..please don't..." Jack softly pleaded his father for mercy, which only got him another punch.

Jack was quietly crying into his pillow while his father brought him closer to his penis. "Faggot's like you like this stuff. Don't deny what makes you an animal, you fuckin piece of shit!" He spat on Jack and proceeded to rape his own son.

Kade was horrified, and the feeling in his stomach grew worse. But he couldn't turn away. He felt like he needed to see this.

Jack was screaming now. Screaming in pain. His father's treatment was without passion, it was pure violence. He pounded Jack as rough as possible, and Kade knew that Jack got it worse than he did.

Jack's screams and cries were different now. They were like a child's screams and cries. It was terrible to hear, let alone see.

Kade tried covering his eyes and ears, but he could still hear Jack screaming. He could still see his face writhed in pain, even in his mind.

Tears trickled down Kade's cheeks. He wanted this to end. He wanted to get out of here.

He had wanted revenge of Jack. Should he be enjoying this? Should he feel no pity for Jack?

He felt like he should harden his heart, but he couldn't. No son deserved such abuse from his father.

He was forced to endure Jack's pain for another forty-five minutes until the wretched man growled loudly as he came into his own son.

Before he left the room he turned his whimpering son. "Don't cry you little bitch, you deserve this. All fags like you deserve this." His dad spat on him one more time and he slammed the door shut.

Kade stood there in silence, reflecting in Jack's quiet sobs and the sounds of a car driving off.

He then opened the closet and quickly locked Jack's door.

"Oh. You're still here," Jack whispered.

Jack turned over and laid on his back, though it looked quite painful with the bleeding caused by the whipping.

With tears in his eyes Jack looked at Kade with sorrow. "Are you going to fuck me now?"

Kade just stared at him blankly. "What? I don't u-"

"Kade, you know why. So you can have revenge. You want to get even. So get even." Jack lay there in resigned to his fate.

Kade felt dizzy from the craziness. This was too much. His thoughts were whirling around.

"I won't have any of this. This is too weird. I need to get out. My head hurts, my mind is spining. I just need OUT!"

Kade made his way to the window, where he noticed a rope ladder could be rolled in and out.

"Must be because of his dad...." Kade was about to step out before Jack pleaded for him to stay.

"Please don't leave me....at least not yet." Jack looked at him with such sad eyes, and his voice was the same child-like pitch when his dad was here.

So he decided to lie next to Jack on his bed. He would humor him for a bit longer.

After a bit of an awkward silence he noticed they were both staring at the ceiling.

Slowly the two began to look into each other's eyes. Kade saw now that Jack was actually attractive.

Despite the bruises and the blood, Jack still looked beautiful. Kade knew why. It was his eyes. His eyes were a chocolate brown. But before, there was such malice and hate in his eyes. Now, there was sincerity. He could see a wounded little boy in those eyes.

Kade leaned forward and gave Jack a little kiss. He didn't knowwhat kind of a kiss it was, but it wasn't a lover's kiss.

A tear spilled down Jack's cheek. Kade saw that he was hard.

"Jack, were you really being serious about those things you said? Like wanting to hurt me? Wanting to rape me again?"

Jack didn't blink. He just softly whispered. "No".

Kade laughed softly. "You're so weird."

"This coming from the guy who kissed his rapist...." Jack retorted.

Kade sighed and got up from the bed, moving toward the window. "Its not right Jack. I have to tell the Police what's going on here. This isn't right. This is insane. You don't deserve this."

"I raped you. I deserve it." Jack winced as he sat up. Cearly he was in alot of pain.

"Do you? It seems like this wasn't your first time with him. He needs to go to jail for what hes been doing to you. This isn't safe for your or your family." Kade added the last part to try and convince Jack, but it backfired.

"What the fuck do you know about my family? You don't know shit Kade! So don't stand there and judge me. You could never understand...." With that Jack flooded tears onto his pillow.

"Jack I would like to help you. After what I saw... I can't just forget what I saw. Besides, I don't want you to hurt anyone else." Kade threw the rope ladder onto the ground from the window, he would need to leave fairly soon...his parent's would ask questions if he came too late.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt anyone else. I'm done." Jack half-lied.

Kade smiled at Jack. "if you stop hurting people, and promise to speak about your dad to the police, then maybe we can move on from what you did to me."

It was odd for Kade. So very odd. Earlier today he felt nothing but hatred for Jack Belzer. But now all his hatred was gone. After what he saw...he just couldn't hate him. His voice, the way he cried when his dad hurt him. It was just too much.

"Are you going to be okay?" Kade asked sensitively. He hated leaving, but he had no choice. He would check up on Jack, if his dad was not behind bars soon, then he would have no choice but to tell the police for him.

"I'll be fine Kade." Jack completely lied this time.

Kade climbed out the window after saying goodbye, and ran home. He would be late if he didn't hurry.

When he got home, he made an effort to hug his dad. His dad who was qutie surprised asked "why?" and Kade simply replied that "you deserved it for being a good dad."

His parent's werent perfect, but they would never violate him. For that, he was grateful.

But the images of Jack screaming haunted Kade. His tearful face, which displayed a lost innocence. It hurt Kade's heart. He felt that maybe he was being too soft on Jack, but he couldn't help it.

Kade wondered to himself. "Is this compassion my greatest weakness? Or strength? I know many people would never be so forgiving to a rapist. I really hope I got through to Jack."

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Jack Belzer couldn't sleep. He was humilated. Kade Jones had saw what his father did to him, and now he had lost all credibility. He could no longer take out his frustrations on other people...

He had half-lied to Kade when he said he was not going to hurt anyone. He wasn't going to hurt the people around him. He was going to hurt himself.

"I deserve this. I am supposed to suffer." With that he placed the cold metal of a knife against the hot flesh of his bruised arm and started cutting.

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