The Beard - 10. Chapter 10

“What was up with you and Pritchard this week?” Jeremy asked as he idly tossed the football up towards the ceiling. It didn’t quite hit the ceiling before dropping back down where he caught it while sprawled across Dale’s bed. Dale sighed at the question and tried to think of how to answer. The computer beeped as he finished scanning the last entry on the page and he flipped it over to the next one.

“What do you mean?” Dale temporized. He kept on scanning, and the beep after each scan kind of relaxed him the way it always did. There were only five more pages to go, and then he could take off with Jeremy. For some reason it felt good to have Jeremy over, even if he was finishing up work he hadn’t finished the night before. Really he shouldn’t be doing it at home, but he needed to finish so Howie could get the report of yesterday’s precinct walks to Trish, who would be waiting for them to show up on her blackberry before noon. Sure, he could have gone into the office to do this, and probably should have, but he was scheduled for an eight hour shift starting at two in the afternoon and he hadn’t finished these last night. There had been more than they had expected, and it was so late the campaign would get into trouble with child labor laws if he didn’t go home.

“You two have been like all standoffish this week.” Jeremy answered. “Cesar thinks you two are fighting and might break up. That’d be a good one wouldn’t it? You two end up on the cover of that gay magazine and next thing anyone knows – you’ve broken up.”

“We’re not breaking up.” Dale said flatly.

“Oh.” Jeremy said and there was a hint of sadness in his voice. “So what’s going on?”

“Nothing, we’re just stressed, that’s all.” Dale said with a sigh. He screwed up an entry with his distraction and had to go back and fix it before speaking again. “The campaign’s getting kind of rough and that asshole trashed us, saying we were a couple just to make the congressman look good.”

“Yeah, like you’d do anything like that.” Jeremy said with a snort.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dale asked sharply, turning away from the computer to give Jeremy his full attention. He’d never really let himself look at Jeremy the way he did now, but there, stretched out on his bed, wearing an old pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt, he could see how handsome Jeremy was in that big, jock sort of way. Now that they were friends again, he was remembering just how often they’d done stuff like this when Dale lived close to him. Jeremy had been a regular over at his house on Saturday mornings, just talking about everything that could be imagined.

“You’re too honest of a guy to do something like that.” Jeremy said and Dale felt a great deal of guilt at the words. It was what he was doing. “That’s the thing about you. Sometimes you don’t talk at all, like after the shit with your father, but you at least don’t lie.”

“Huh?” Dale asked, confused and slightly embarrassed. For some reason the fact that Jeremy had brought up his father didn’t bother him all that much. The topic did, though, mostly because he was living a lie, and Jeremy was making him feel guilty about that.

“You know, I wasn’t all that surprised when you came out.” Jeremy said with a serious look on his face as he sat up on the bed, and moved his legs to sit Indian style. “I mean, when we were younger, you’d like let me talk about girls and whatnot, but you never said you liked them.”

“I didn’t.” Dale said evenly.

“Yeah, but you didn’t try to pretend.” Jeremy said. “You didn’t flat out tell me you were gay, but you didn’t try to hide it the way some people do.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” Dale said softly. “You were one of my best friends.”

“I always thought we were best friends.” Jeremy said quietly, and there was a hint of hurt in your voice. “You know, when you moved away, you weren’t the only one whose world changed.”

“I… I never thought about that.” Dale said with more guilt welling up inside him.

“Yeah, well you had enough problems to deal with at the time.” Jeremy said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Mom always said to just give you time and we’d be friends again. Looks like she was right.”

“Yeah, but it took Cole to bring me out of that shell I was in.” Dale admitted with a frown on his face. “I think I was being stupid.”

“You were, but it’s understandable.” Jeremy said.

“When did you get all philosophical?” Dale asked with surprise.

“You’d be surprised.” Jeremy said with a sigh and a very slight smile. “I know you won’t tell anyone, not even Cole, but I got really depressed after you moved. Mom even took me to a head shrinker for a bit and he helped me understand some things.”

“Oh.” Dale said with total shock. “I never…”

“You need to stop saying that.” Jeremy laughed, tossing the football into the air and laying back down on the bed. “I know people think of me as a dumb jock, but that’s what I want.”

“You want people to think you’re dumb?” Dale asked with more surprise. He was learning more about his old friend from this single conversation than he had ever expected.

“It’s easier that way.” Jeremy said with a sigh. “Not everyone is as brave as you and can deal with people knowing about them the way you do. I think it’s why you and Cole are such a good fit together. You both live your life out there, you know? Cole’s never really cared what people think, he just does what he thinks is right.”

“Yeah, right.” Dale snorted. “It’s more like he lives his life making his life appear the way people expect him to be. He’s the congressman’s son, and so he lives his life according to that script. Sometimes I don’t think he even knows who he truly is.”

“Really?” Jeremy looked shocked at Dale’s words. “Wow, I guess that must be what you’re fighting about.”

“We’re not fighting, really.” Dale said with a sigh. “It’s just… I’m having trouble dealing with all this.”

“You should have known stuff like this would happen when you went out with him.” Jeremy said with a shake of his head. “Cole’s not exactly low-profile.”

“No, he’s not.” Dale agreed with a sigh. He started scanning a few more entries, taking a moment to really study the crabbed note some volunteer had put next to a voter’s address. When he couldn’t figure out what the volunteer had written he made a note to have someone contact the voter and ask. It was a pain to do that, but better than making the wrong entry because he couldn’t read the person’s writing.

“You almost done?” Jeremy asked with a hint of impatience.

“Yeah, I’d be done quicker without all the interruptions.” Dale teased him and was actually pleased at the frown on Jeremy’s face.

“If you’d finished your work last night, I wouldn’t have to wait.” Jeremy finally figured out a retort.

“Not bad.” Dale complimented him. “Took you a while to come up with that.”

“Yeah, well, I may not be the dumb jock, but I’m not genius geek boy either.” Jeremy retorted a lot quicker this time. Dale smiled.

“That’s a good one.” Dale complimented him again.

“You must be distracted.” Jeremy laughed. “That was two compliments in a row.”

“See, I can be nice even if I’m dating a politician’s son.” Dale retorted.

“Damn that sounds odd.” Jeremy laughed.

“I am gay, Jeremy.” Dale said with a hint of a warning in his voice.

“Jesus, Dale, don’t be so damn fucking defensive.” Jeremy said in a way that told Dale he’d touched a nerve. “That had nothing to do with you being gay. It was about you dating Cole Pritchard. I never would have thought he’d openly date another guy.”

“Then you thought he was gay?” Dale asked with a frown.

“A bunch of guys back in freshman year pretty much all guessed he was, but that was because they thought he was a bit swishy.” Jeremy shrugged as he resumed tossing the football into the air. “Then he started dating a long string of girls, and well that pretty much cinched it for me, even if I didn’t say nothing.”

“Why would that cinch it for you?” Dale asked him with a frown. “Why would dating a bunch of girls make you think someone’s gay”

“That’s what they do in the stories.” Jeremy said with a heavy sigh as he tossed and then caught the ball again.

“What stories?” Dale asked and Jeremy put the ball down next to him before lifting another hand and playing with a flake of paint on the wall behind the bed.

“You know, the gay stories online.” Jeremy said softly, not looking Dale in the eyes. “I know you read them. You’ve got the computer here in your room.”

“It’s not connected to the ‘net, or at least, it wasn’t until I started working for the campaign.” Dale said with a sigh. “I had to get it hooked up for that. What stories are you talking about?”

“You know, the stories on the ‘net about the closeted football player who falls in love with the nerdy geek and they live happily ever after.” Jeremy said in a rush, ending his sentence with a long sigh. He was looking anywhere but at Dale.

“Why the hell would you be reading stories like that?” Dale wasn’t happy with the way his voice squeaked.

“Well, you always were a little geeky.” Jeremy said with another sigh, and what Dale could see of his cheek was bright red.

“What are you trying to tell me?” Dale said with disbelief.

“You know.” Jeremy said and as he spoke he turned to look Dale directly in the eyes. It was easy to see the emotions there. Dale felt his legs go queasy for a moment, and his stomach fill with butterflies.

“You’re joking, right?” Dale asked with even more disbelief.

“No.” Jeremy said and this time he did not sigh. There was sadness in his voice and his eyes. “I think I had a crush on you from the time I turned twelve. When you moved, I went nuts a bit, and well, it was even harder to still see you in school and for you to just ignore me and push me away.”

“That was years ago.” Dale said with shock.

“Yeah, but um, you’ve only gotten better looking the older you got and well… I guess it was more than just a guy’s first crush.” Jeremy said nervously. His hand gripped the football again, but he didn’t throw it up in the air.

“You hated me.” Dale said with a frown. “You kept on snickering with your jock friends at me, and it was Cole that helped me out after the whole run-in with those stupid idiots from the team.”

“I was pissed at you for moving away.” Jeremy said with a sigh. “It was stupid, it was wrong, I’m sorry, but I never hated you. Then you and Cole happened and I realized how stupid I was. If I’d not listened to my mother and stuck with you, we’d be going out now instead of you and Cole.”

“Fuck.” Dale said with a shake of his head, totally shocked by this. He didn’t know what to think, and he had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from telling Jeremy everything.

“Yeah, I know.” Jeremy sighed heavily this time. “I don’t expect you to dump him for me, you know, but if he ever fucks up and dumps you, just remember I’m here.”

“Wait, wait, you’re saying you’re gay?” Dale shook his head with disbelief. “I mean, what are the fucking odds? We grew up next to each other!”

“Yeah, but it does happen you know.” Jeremy countered. “You know there’s a lot of people in towns like ours that meet in high school, fall in love and stay together all their lives. It’s the big cities with all those people where you don’t see that happen.”

“But still.” Dale protested. There were so many things he wanted to say at that moment. The truth was, he liked Jeremy, and he liked him a whole lot more than Cole in a lot of ways, although Cole had the dreamy handsomeness that Jeremy couldn’t match, and a whole lot of things that Jeremy might not have, but there was one thing that Jeremy had that Cole didn’t. “You’re gay.”

“Yeah, I am.” Jeremy agreed and then he frowned. “I mean, yeah, and I’m like tired of hiding it so if someone asks me a question, I won’t be hiding it no more, but I won’t like go and announce it on Monday to the entire school.”

“I get that.” Dale agreed. “No one should have to do that, and when you think about it, it’s not really necessary. Who cares what people know or don’t know unless they’re your friends, and most of the time it isn’t necessary to just walk up to them and tell them ‘Hey! I’m gay!’. All that does is usually make things worse.”

“I kind of figured that after my little talk with mom.” Jeremy chuckled.

“Oh god, what happened?” Dale asked, his work totally forgotten.

“She asked me why I broke up with Janice.” Jeremy was still chuckling as he answered Dale’s question. “I told her I wasn’t interested in dating Janice, that I’d asked her out for the wrong reasons.”

“Then she asked why you asked her out.” Dale interrupted and Jeremy looked put out for a moment.

“You know, that’s probably the most irritating habit you have.” Jeremy said sternly. “You don’t even let people finish their own stories, but finish it for them.”

“So that’s what she asked?” Dale asked with a smile.

“Pretty much.” Jeremy nodded. “I think she used slightly different words. Do you know what I said?”

“Uh, something like ‘I thought going out with her would make people think I was straight?’” Dale guessed.

“Damn you’re good.” Jeremy laughed. “That’s it, almost word for word. Then she asked me if I was gay, and when I told her I was, she just nodded. Can you guess what she said next?”

“No clue.” Dale admitted with a shake of his head.

“Well, at least I actually get to tell this part.” Jeremy said as he sat up and smiled in Dale’s direction. “She said ‘Ah, now I know why you got so depressed after Dale moved.’ It’s like she fucking nailed it on the first guess.”

“I’m not the only smart person in the world.” Dale said with a laugh.

“So I’ve got a question for you.” Jeremy said as he suddenly turned serious. Dale got an uneasy feeling because he was already guessing the question.

“I can’t promise an answer, you know.” Dale said weakly and Jeremy nodded.

“If Cole wasn’t in the picture, would I have a chance?” Jeremy asked with a look of misery and hope on his face.

“Yes, of course you would.” The words came spilling out of his mouth before Jeremy had done more than licked his lips after asking the question. The smile that lit Jeremy’s face made Dale feel even guiltier for the subterfuge. He almost got up and moved to the bed so he could see if Jeremy kissed better than Cole’s fake kisses, but he determinedly stayed in his chair.

“Good, now I just have to kill Pritchard without anyone knowing it was me.” Jeremy said with a broad smile.

“I wish things could be different, Jer.” Dale said with a soft sigh.

“Say that again.” Jeremy said with a smile.

“What?” Dale asked.

“Jer.” Jeremy answered. “I like the way it sounds when you say it.”

“Okay, Jer.” Dale said. “I do wish things could be different. It was wrong of me to push you and the other guys away like I did just because it hurt so much.”

“Dude, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Jeremy said with a shudder. “I don’t think I’d have reacted any better if I walked in on my old man’s body after all the shit that went down with you guys.”

“Still…” Dale protested.

“Don’t.” Jeremy said firmly. “You can’t go back in time and change things, and well I get the fact that you’re with Cole now and you like him, and me spilling my guts to you is like too little too late. That’s fine, I can deal with it, but at least now you know, and you know what smart guy?”

“No, what?” Dale asked with a smile on his face. It was hard to get depressed or angry when Jeremy was like this.

“I feel better just having talked to you about it.” Jeremy said with another sigh, and now he leaned back on the bed again and tossed the ball into the air. “You done with that work yet?”

“Nope.” Dale laughed. “Some guy’s in my room telling me he’s secretly been in love with me for the past four years and keeps distracting me.”

“Well, tell the idiot to shut his face so you can finish and we can get out of here.” Jeremy said. “Mom’s taking your mom out for some shopping therapy and we’ve got to meet the guys before you go back to work.”

“Fine, shut it, jock boy.” Dale said, turning to his computer as Dale threw the football at his head. He felt it coming and ducked so that it hit the wall. He managed to catch it before it dropped on the computer. He tossed it over his head and he could hear the sound of Jeremy catching it.

It took Dale another fifteen minutes to finish up his work, and he spent an extra five minutes sending an email to Howie to let him know that it was done. Jeremy had remained silent during that time, just tossing the football up and catching it repeatedly. When Dale stood up and stretched, he smiled and sat up.

“You done?” Jeremy asked.

“Yep.” Dale answered. “Now I just need to change.”

“Cool.” Jeremy said as his smile transformed into a leer. “Change away.”

“Uh, why don’t you go and wait in the living room?” Dale asked. “The grandparents are in Tahoe for the day.”

“Spoilsport.” Jeremy groaned, but he got up and headed towards the door. He had to shuffle past Dale though, and Dale was pretty sure Jeremy’s hand lingered on his arm far more than necessary. The touch sent a thrill through him, and he barely kept from shivering at the touch. It was amazing what a difference their conversation had made.

After the photo shoot, Dale had gone shopping, spending a few hundred dollars of the money he had saved up in the bank. He felt guilty about it, but had bought his mother a new dress as well as something for his grandmother to assuage the guilt. Cole hadn’t really said anything, but Dale was quite conscious of the fact that people were watching Dale more now, and he felt the urge to have better clothes.

It almost seemed like a waste to wear new sweatpants and a new t-shirt when they were just going to get dirty, but he also didn’t feel like showing up to the field with old clothes on anymore.

“You boys getting ready to go?” Dale’s mother asked as he passed her room on the way out. Mrs. Blochs was with her, helping her get her makeup on right, and both of them had smiles on their faces.

“Yup.” Dale answered. “We’ll be back about one, and I have work at two. You sure about this Mrs. Blochs?”

“Of course, sweetie.” Jeremy’s mother said with a smile on her face. “You guys go have fun. I told your grandparents I’d have no problem staying all day so they could go on their trip, and you too.”

“Thanks.” He told her with a little blush of his cheeks. Blowing a kiss to his mother, he turned to head into the living room where he found Jeremy sitting in the living room, looking through one of his grandparents’ photo album.

“You are so cute in this picture.” Jeremy said with fondness in his voice, pointing to a picture of Dale from about eight years ago. Dale knew the picture, and refused to blush. How his grandmother had gotten a picture of him like that he didn’t know, but it was embarrassing.

“Who said you could look at that?” Dale said a little more harshly than he intended. Jeremy’s smile faltered, but then grew wider.

“Aw, is poor little Daley embarrassed?” He asked as he closed the photo album and put it on the little side table it had been on earlier.

“Shut up.” Dale groused, and then he took off running as Jeremy leaped off the chair towards him. The house shook as Jeremy chased him through it, and finally caught him, putting him in a headlock and proceeding to give him a noogie. Dale fought back though, and a stomp on Jeremy’s foot got him free, and he was leaping on Jer’s back to return the favor.

“You boys are already late, aren’t you?” Mrs. Blochs called out with laughter in her voice.

“We’re going!” Jer yelled back and Dale dropped off his back. He had to shift his package slightly because it had started to grow from the contact, and he didn’t want Jer to see the effect the contact had.

“Let’s get out of here.” Dale said, heading towards the front door. He paused just long enough to get his keys off of the board just inside the partition to the kitchen, and they were out the door with Jer right on his heels. As they walked down the walkway towards Dale’s truck, Jer moved up beside him and threw his arm around Dale’s shoulders.

Dale thought about telling Jer to take his arm away because it was still affecting Dale in that way, but he didn’t. The contact was nice, and unlike with Cole, it wasn’t a game they were playing. Jer’s affection was real, and Dale knew it. It was almost painful, but a good kind of pain.

When they got in his truck, Jer started talking about the latest baseball news. He loved the sport and with Spring Training starting, he was excited about the upcoming season, and hoping to make a few Giants games down in the Bay Area. To his surprise, Dale found himself agreeing to go to a game with Jer once the season started.

If, a few months ago, someone had told him he would have fun spending hours in a park with several members of the football team playing a pick-up game, he would have told them they were crazy. He did have fun though, even when they tackled him a few times, and when he ended up arbitrating a dispute between Cesar and Ray Johnson. To his surprise they actually listened to him as he called them down, and it made him feel good. Cole was busy elsewhere, and everything today was him, doing this on his own and not just as an adjunct to Cole.

“What about lunch?” Ray asked after they had finished their game. The big guy rubbed his stomach and showed his toothy smile. “All this playing around’s made me hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” Ben laughed, slapping the big guy on the ass.

“Hey, keep away from my ass.” Ray shot back. “Only Pritchard and Andrews get to play with that.”

“What?” Dale gasped with surprise.

“Well, at least touch it.” Ray said with a grunt of laughter. “I don’t want you doing more than that, but you two are our only ass-guys here.”

“Don’t be too sure of that.” Jer muttered, and Dale braced himself for a shock. It didn’t come though.

“Yeah, if Johnson wants them to touch his ass maybe he likes it too.” Cesar teased the big black guy who scowled.

“I’m just trying to be open minded!” Johnson protested.

“Sharkey’s.” Dale said before another argument could start.

“Huh?” Johnson asked.

“I said we’ll eat lunch at Sharkey’s.” Dale answered. “You guys do know the place, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve known Cole for a while too.” Cesar laughed. “Figures you’d like the place.”

“It’s got good food.” Dale protested and they laughed.

“Yup, let’s go.” Jer said, once again throwing his arm over Dale’s shoulder and steering him towards where the truck was parked.

“You better be careful, Blochs!” Ben King called out. “Pritchard sees you with your arm around his squeeze and he’s going to beat the crap out of you!”

“He wouldn’t dare!” Jer called back laughing, but Dale squirmed a bit as they walked. It did make him uncomfortable in front of other people, and Jer only frowned a little as Dale moved a little distance away so Jer’s arm could not cover him. The taller guy sighed and put his arm back to his side, and the drive to Sharkey’s was made in silence.

“You got a table for fifteen?” Dale asked Linda when they got to the restaurant. Only a few of the guys had arrived with them, but the rest would be here soon. Linda frowned at him.

“Cole always calls ahead so we can get a table set up in the back room.” She told him sternly, but there was a smile on her face. “Just you remember that, okay, honey?”

“Sure thing, Linda.” Dale said with a smile.

“Now, it’ll be ten minutes or so until we get the room ready, so make yourselves comfortable, and keep it down.” She told him.

“Got it.” Dale promised and she left, speaking to the young latino guy that was working as a busboy.

That was when Dale’s phone rang and he answered Cole’s call.

“Where are you?” Cole asked when Dale answered.

“Um, at Sharkey’s.” Dale answered with a frown. “What’s up?”

“Those bastards blocked Dad’s endorsement.” Cole answered. Dale frowned, not sure how that had happened. Today was the state party’s pre-endorsement caucus and he remembered Howie stating they had more than enough votes. “Can you get down to the HQ? Aunt Trish is calling a meeting and you should be there.”

“I’ll be right there.” Dale said with a sigh and turned to Jeremy and Ben as he hung up.

“Go, I’ll get a ride with Ben.” Jeremy assured him before he’d done more than open his mouth. Ben nodded his agreement.

“Thanks guys.” Dale smiled and turned to leave, deciding he would at least stop by the house to change before he went into the office. If Trish was there, she’d expect him to look decent, not covered in grass and dirt encrusted sweats.

It had been such a good day too.