15 And Life To Go - 2. Chapter 2

…

I woke up in a dark room, a bedroom by the looks of it. There weren’t any posters around, or any real signs of life for that matter, but I knew it was a teenage boy’s room. Obviously I’m dreaming, but that’s fine by me. Eight hours of not looking at bars and concrete. In the distance I can hear Jeff’s sweet words telling me that everything is going to be alright, calming my nerves instantly. I head to the door to find out where I am, but the door is locked. Weird, but I’ll play along. Looking around the room, I feel sorry for whoever might have been barred from any form of self-expression whatsoever. In the corner was a worn desk worthy of the 19^th century. With nothing else to do, I decided to entertain my nosiness, and picked the flimsy lock on the single drawer. The only contents were some random papers and a photograph of Jeff with his arm around a much younger me. I’ve had some strange dreams, but this one takes the cake.

Not knowing what else to do, I simply laid down on the bed. Ironic as it is, I fell asleep in my dream. Before I was able to really screw with my mind by having a dream within a dream, screams pierced throughout the entire house, and before I knew it World War III was erupting in the adjoining room. Jeff’s screams of terror and hate reverberated in my head along with the sounds of an older man attempting to control the situation, but failing miserably. Silence fell over the dwelling, followed by the older man begging for forgiveness, which was apparently ignored, silenced by the recoil of gun fire.

Eight shots. I counted eight before I could hear the clicking of an empty magazine. As the gun clanked to the ground, Jeff let out a roar like none that I’ve ever heard. Hearing footsteps pounding down the hallway, I realized what I just witnessed. It wasn’t me in that photo, I’m just standing in Brad’s shoes. The door swung open, with Jeff walking in calmly, with a firm look of resolve in his eyes. Although he was covered head to toe in our father’s blood, I felt safe, rescued. He reached out for my hand and said “Jeff! Wake Up!” Wait, huh??

…

Coming to, I was back behind the bars and cinderblocks once again. Jeff was sitting up in our bunk looking worried. I would have set his mind at ease, but I was too busy trying to settle my own thoughts. On one hand, the dream I was just yanked out of allowed me to feel the raw emotions that he must have felt on that fateful day, but on the other I seen the cold calculated manner in which he disposed of his father’s life. I’ve came close to asking him about it time and time again, but every time seems like a bad one. As if to prove my point, a third voice spoke up out of nowhere.

“Nathanial, it seems as if you’re not sleeping well.” Mandy started. “I came in to check on your head, and you were curled up in a ball sweating bullets. Do you need to see a doctor Nate?” Seeing a doc couldn’t help me out any I suppose, but I might be able to weasel some pain meds out of him. I don’t want to risk having to stay in the hospital without Jeff though. “No ma’am, just a bad dream is all. I think the jail is getting to me a little bit.” I answered finally. “Good, that’s good to hear. Not that I’m all that worried about your wellbeing. You seem to have quite the caregiver here sleeping with you.” She said with a wink. “You two should be more careful, you know. I personally think it’s adorable, but some of the guards will make you miserable if you were caught like that. Even though Jeff here has them by the balls, the hate they harbor won’t stop them. Now, I’ll go ahead and leave you guys to your breakfast, but I’ll be calling for you later this afternoon for your physicals. If you both are in good health we’ll have you on the road either today or tomorrow. I hope you both come out of the program honest young citizens.” With that, she pushed her little nurse’s cart out.

“Okay, Nate, what the hell was that when you woke up? You looked like you seen a ghost. Please tell me you’re alright!” Awe, Jeff was so cute when he was worried. I don’t think that now is the time to tell him that I pretty much witnessed him waste his pops though.

“It’s nothing, bro. Just a bad dream. I think being locked up is getting to me.” I said with a quick peck on his lips. “Besides, we have better things to talk about. We’re springing this place tomorrow, and by the sounds of your ‘papa’ and Nurse Mandy, wherever we are headed doesn’t seem all too bad. Of course anywhere would have to be better than this hell hole. You’re the only thing that has made it bearable. Hell, before you came along, I believed I was happy. I missed out on a lot of good times growin’ up without you Jeff.” Here I go getting all soft and shit again. What is with this boy that he can make me go from heart of stone to rainbows and butterflies with just a look of concern? I feel like every cliché I’ve ever heard. Let’s see, you have “you make me want to be a better man,” “life before you wasn’t worth living,” oh and we can’t forget “being with you makes all my troubles disappear!” Part of me tells me to take it down a notch, but I can’t really see a reason to now. I really don’t have anything to speak for outside these walls. Anything I did have was just a façade; a plastic reality that I built around myself to protect my equally fragile being.

I could tell that Jeff didn’t believe a word that I said, but he let it drop. I could tell that the wheels in his head were turning, and the look on his face screamed “Riggghhht, I believe you…..” I hated having to lie to him, even a small white lie like this, but I’ve never been lucky in love before, and if this is gonna work, I can’t screw it up over a bad dream.

Jeff hopped up and sauntered over to the tables for breakfast. I say sauntered because he was laying it on thick. His hips shifted ever so slightly when he walked accenting his ass just perfect, and he knew it too. Still sporting bed head, he peeked his pretty blues over his shoulder as he walked making sure I took in the whole show. Breathtaking barely describes it. To think that he was doing this for me; just me. I used to think I was lucky when I won two dollars on a gas station scratch off ticket. Guys like Jeff are taught from a young age to stay away from the likes of me, yet here he is. God must be feeling sorry for me, ‘cause I didn’t do anything in my life to deserve what I had handed to me.

I stumbled over to the table myself. It’s not too easy to walk with a hard-on being loose in a baggy jumpsuit. But I can’t be blamed. I haven’t tamed that monster in days, and with Jeff’s teasing a gentle breeze might cause me to make a mess. The glint in Jeff’s eyes as he watched on showed me a little of his not-so-innocent side, and that only made things worse. I took a seat next to Jeff and dug into my cold eggs and tasteless hash browns, oblivious to the evil plans forming in his head. Without touching a bite on his own tray, Jeff snuck his hand ever so slowly in between the snaps on my orange attire, immediately finding its target. The surprise made it impossible to swallow, causing eggs to propel across the room as Jeff took care of my ‘little problem’. As I whimpered a protest that I obviously didn’t mean, he leaned over and nibbled on my neck and whispered “breakfast time…”

Slowly, Jeff knelt down between my legs, whilst unsnapping my buttons one at a time releasing the tool that has now began to throb with pain. Teasing me again, Jeff is barely inching his way, leaving me leaned back holding the metal chair beneath me with both hands, white knuckled. Feeling his breath on my tip, I braced myself for what’s to come when… “crssskrk…..Inmates! You BETTER not be about to do what I think you’re doing!!!” Aw, fuck my life! As soon as that announcement came over the intercom, Jeff popped up, bashing his head on the table above, causing him to go face first into my junk, in turn causing me to scream like a banshee from the pain of teeth scraping on dick. I take back what I thought earlier… God doesn’t feel sorry for me, he is simply dangling a carrot in front of me for personal enjoyment.

Because I was only focusing on my own excruciating pain, I forgot to check on Jeff, who took the brunt of the pain. Looking under the table, I realized he’s not under there any more, so I scanned the room and seen him sitting on the toilet back in the corner. I went rushing back as soon as I seen him, not even flinching at the sight of the blood flowing from a cut above his eye. Wadding up all the toilet paper I could find, I attempted to apply the needed pressure but my hands were swatted away. That’s when I realized that he was mixing tears in with the blood.

“Ohmygod, Jeff, are you okay?!? I thought it was just a cut, what’s wrong?” I probed. “Should I call Mandy?”

“NO! I mean, I’m sorry Nate. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t do things like that. I just thought that you… I mean, you know. I’ve never, um…, never with anybody, ya know… I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not ready for all this. It’s happening so fast. I’ve dreamt about being alone with you a LOT, but I never thought in a million years it was a possibility. I understand if you don’t want to wait for me, it’s my problem, not yours…” I put my hand up and interrupted Jeff. I can’t stand hearing him talk like this. To be honest, I’ve been holding back myself as to not make him rush into something he wasn’t ready for. I have to figure out a way to calm his insecurities, because I for one was planning on going my entire prison sentence without as much as a kiss, let alone sleeping with anyone. Besides, what I see in Jeff now isn’t lust in the slightest. Sure, I’m not saying I’d refuse his body if he threw it at me, but now it’s more than that. I could live with jacking off in the shower if it meant I still had Jeff there after I dried off.

“Jeff, bro, you have to listen to me. What we are doing here doesn’t seem like a ‘let’s hurry up and fuck’ kinda situation, ya know? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m under the impression that we have something most people go an entire lifetime looking for. We fit perfectly. From the moment I first seen you I was going insane in my head trying to find out more and more about you. That doesn’t happen to me EVER! You surprised me with your antics this morning. I wasn’t expecting or looking for that at all. I’m falling for you hard, and granted a cute ass is a bonus, but I can wait. Now, wipe your tears, and let’s get a good look at your eye, it’s already turning all kinds of shades.” Hopefully what I just said sank in.

Jeff reluctantly accepted what I said, but I could read right through it. He’s still one-hundred percent insecure, and I doubt that anything will change that but time, of which we have plenty. After I finally got the bleeding stopped, I could see that the slice was a bit deeper than I thought. As if reading my mind, the cell door opened with a deafening thud, and Mandy came walking in shaking her head in mock disgust. “What the hell am I going to do with you two??!? The rules are simple, DON’T GET CAUGHT! I even told you where the camera’s blind spot is and ya’ll still choose to give the guards in the tower a show. They wouldn’t stop talking about it until I reminded them that looking at kiddie porn is a crime, on the job at that! Damn you two, you’re gonna give me a stroke worrying… Now Jeff, come here and let me look at that shiner. Yikes, stiches for sure. Now how exactly are you going to tell Sheriff Hardass?!?” Mandy continued on like that for the duration of her visit. I’m not sure which hurt worse; her stitching up Jeff, or her making our ears bleed. Finishing up suturing Jeff’s eye, she informed us that we needed to follow her to get our physicals. With the opportunity to leave the cells, even if it’s only a half hour, Jeff and I rushed to get properly dressed before being walked down the corridors to the infirmary.

There was nothing special on our journey to the nurse’s ward, but we were excited none the less. It’s been days since we saw the outside of our musty cell block, so I’m pretty sure that anything could entertain us at the moment. When we reached our destination, we looked like kids on Christmas morning. Jail does that to you somehow. Gets in your mind, distorting both time and reality. The best part? The infirmary had a window that you could actually see out of. Trees and kids playing, life going on as usual. I was hoping to use some of this time to ask Mandy about what we actually need a physical for, but true to her form, she beat me to the punch: “Okay boys, since you seem soooo comfortable around each other, I’m just going to go through the physical with both of you at once, so strip down and let’s get this over with.” Jesus, she’s blunt if I ever saw it.

This is gonna be awkward as hell, and I bet dollar to donuts she’s doing this on purpose to get back at our little deal this morning. I for one wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of embarrassment, so I stripped down in one fluid movement. Jeff, on the other hand, went back to being bashful. Now is not the time to be so damn cute. I’m still cocked and loaded if you know what I mean. By the time Jeff turned around in the buff, I was fully at attention, and I knew it wasn’t gonna go down any time soon. It must have been contagious ‘cause Jeff was stiff as steel himself. I could hear Mandy muttering something in the background, but I happened to catch a glimpse into Jeff’s eyes and was lost in his baby blues. He was staring right back, mirroring my expression of mixed love and desire. Mandy must have noticed, because she slammed down her clipboard and barked; “For FUCKS sake, boys. A couple minutes is all I need, dammit. Fine, you have five minutes while I go to the ladies room. When I get back you better be as soft as an eighty year old quadriplegic.” With that she stormed off leaving us both jaw dropped not knowing what to do next.

Five minutes isn’t a lot of time and I’m really not sure what to do in this situation. Oh well, I’ve been in worse situations. I walked over to Jeff and took him in my arms, wanting to be gentle, but not exactly able to having a time limit and all. I almost had my mind made up when Jeff surprised me and took control of the situation. Before I knew it Jeff had me on my back, and I knew I wasn’t going to last. I swore I could see fire in his eyes as we both reached climax simultaneously. We cleaned up our sticky situation as best we could, and as it turns out, had time to spare. I can’t quite say that took care of the yearning for Jeff, though. It seemed to only throw gas on the inferno.

When Mandy came back, she yet again mocked us by asking if we needed a cigarette, and with that Jeff turned cherry red. He was so adorable I had to look away to avoid a repeat performance. While we went through a typical physical, i.e. turn your head and cough, I asked Mandy if she could tell us more about where we were headed. She told us that it was a pilot program set up by a businessman in Chicago for repeat offenders to rehabilitate rather than punish. Even though she couldn’t give us too many details, she basically told us that we would be in a camp-like setting, although not quite boot camp. One interesting detail is that the camps are inmate (or client as she called it) ran. Positions of leadership are awarded, and the rewards were enough to keep everyone in line. Punishments for failing the program were severe, but the perks were excellent. There are “camps” in all 102 counties in the state, and Saint Clair Teen Institute was just founded last year, so it is brand new. I think that’s a good thing, but as it seems we now know about as much as Mandy does.

Wrapping up our physicals, Mandy had us get dressed and head back to the cell block. She told us we would have one more meal in the cell block besides our lunch, which in her words “would still be warm if we could have kept our hands to ourselves…” I’m going to miss her when we go. She knew how to keep a smile on our face without ever stepping out of her role as an authoritarian.

Lunch was no big deal, of course. Just another round of mystery meat and Lima beans. Whoever plans the meals around here hates teenagers. Lima beans?!? Oh well, I’m hungry. I doubt Jeff likes them much either, but he was sure having fun watching me hold my nose and choke them down. Wanting to wipe that smug look off his face and without thinking, I took a handful and chucked them at him. Instantly I felt like a dumbass, but what could I do now? He just sat there stunned looking at me with his emotion impossible to read. Ready for retaliation I was quick to act when Jeff finally picked up his own fist full and chucked it at me all the while snickering. I ducked out of the way, thanking the lord I didn’t get a face full of the nasty bean. Thinking the worst was over, I laughed, little realizing I was laughing alone. Across from me Jeff looked like he saw a ghost. My heart stopped when I saw the silhouette of a Stetson cowboy hat creep across the table from behind me. Slowly turning around I saw the sheriff pulling the mushed substance out of his mustache. Oh damn, we are dead! What made it worse is the silence. He just stood there staring us down as he plucked out every speck meticulously.

“Jeffery, do I even need to tell you how you went wrong there?” The VERY scary older man started. Jeff shook his head no and Sheriff Whitmore continued, “I thought I taught you better, young man. If you plan on making a mockery of my establishment and waste the little food that you are able to eat here, boy, you better make sure you hit the damn target!” And with that he flung the goop right back across the table doubling the damage on an already soiled Jeff. Still scared to laugh, I unconsciously waited until the sheriff himself doubled over with tears in his eyes. Poor Jeff just sat there looking utterly helpless covered in congealed food stuff.

“Okay, boys, time to get serious. Jeff go wash up real quick, we have some things to go over. I want to talk to Nate alone for a bit.” So there I sat. Just me and Whitmore, who again put on his intimidating demeanor. Maybe this won’t be all bad, I mean, he seems to have a lighter side to him. Let’s just hope he lets it show a little more.

“Nathanial, do I frighten you?” He asked, and I quickly nodded involuntarily. “Good, smart boy. I looked at your file, and I do not like what I see. In my eyes you look like nothing but trouble. In and out of the system from the time you were just a lad; stealing, fighting, drugs, and such. I’ve seen people like you. I KNOW people like you, and people like you never change. Hell, I make a good paycheck just based on that fact. If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a helluva lot more reluctant to send you to the T.I., but it’s too late now. I’ve made a personal investment in you, and now it is up to me personally to make sure I didn’t make a mistake. Do you follow me?” Nod…nod… “Now, Jeff is a good kid mixed up in a bad situation, and you my friend are a bad kid in trouble for a simple crime. He sees the best in people, which is alright to a point, but I’m a little worried that he is setting himself up for failure with you. I want you to do something for me Mr. Bessie, I want you to prove an old man wrong. Can you do that Nate?”

I didn’t think a simple nod of the head would give his question any justice, so throwing caution to the wind, I prepared to give the big shot a piece of my own mind. “Permission to speak freely, sir?” Holy shit, I’m scared to death. He just stared at me until he finally grunted “speak up, boy!” With all the courage I could muster, I began: “I might be a low life from the streets. It’s all I’ve ever seen, all I’ve ever known. Sure I’ve done all the things you’ve said, and more. Trust me. The deck has been stacked against me from day one. Never once did anyone reach out and offer a hand. Not my parents, not school, and surly not society. It took me to get sentenced to prison and have a convicted murderer finally offer me that chance, and show me that it can be better than it is. Your grandson is a special person, one that I more than likely don’t deserve the time of day from. So no. I will not set out to prove you wrong. That means nothing to me. No offense, but you didn’t stick your neck out for me, Jeff did. If I’m doing this for anybody, it’s definitely for him, for us.”

Silence filled the cells, and the sheriff looks like he just swallowed a dose of poison. Praying for the best, but expecting the worst, I sat there waiting for the verdict. A full minute passed and still nothing. I was a sitting duck being sized up by the man that controls my fate. Jeff came back cleaner than ever and sat down. He took one look at the sheriff, then at me, stammering “What did you do Papa?” The sheriff forced a smile, shook his head and said “Nothing, Jeff. I just wanted to make sure Nate here had your best interest in mind. I think you guys will be alright. And Nate, I’ll let that tone of voice slide THIS time, but don’t dare get used to it, mind you. Now that we’ve settled the score, let me tell you a little about the institute. There isn’t a whole lot to tell. You will attend school 6 days a week, and you will have plenty of assigned work to do, much of which is community service. This assignment is a privilege, don’t ever forget it. Over two thousand kids a year go into long term placement into the juvenile system in this state. The camp you are being shipped to holds a maximum of ten teens. That means you have hundreds of kids looking to get your spot if you mess up. Don’t think this is a free ride, because it will be hard. I plan on visiting later this week to see this place for myself, but it sounds like it could make men out of both of you. With that, I wish you both good luck, and please stay the hell out of trouble!” Rising out of his seat, the sheriff collected Jeff up into a bear hug and turned towards me with his hand extended. “Nate, take care of my boy. When you two come out on the other side I’ll be waiting!” I shook his hand and retreated to the back of the block to give Jeff a little private time alone with his grandfather.

With dinner approaching I was becoming increasingly nervous about my final meal here and the days to come. Anything I’ve ever tried to do for myself always blew up in my face, and I really wanted things to go smooth this time. The sheriff’s warning is still echoing in my head, but in hindsight it almost seemed as if he was less taunting me to crash and burn, and more rooting for me in my corner. It appears to me like the closer I get to Jeff, the more allies I obtain. Since there was nothing better to do I hopped in the shower and rinsed the remainder of my afternoon quickie off of myself. I, like most people, cannot control the urge to sing as the water rained down on me. Forgetting my audience of two, I belted out to Social Distortion’s Ball and Chain; seemed fitting:

Well I'll pass the bar on the way
To my dingy hotel room
I spent all my money
I've been drinkin' since half past noon
Well I'll wake there in the mornin'
Or maybe in the county jail
Times are hard getting harder
I'm born to lose and destined to fail

Take away, take away
Take away this ball and chain
Well I'm lonely and I'm tired
And I can't take any more pain
Take away, take away
Never to return again
Take away, take away
Take away
Take away this ball and chain

Drying off, I stepped out of the shower and right into Jeff,who was apparently standing there listening to me. “Oh my God Nate! You have…. You… you sing! That was awesome! I mean, I sing in choir, but nothin’ like that. Are you in a band? Do you play guitar? Where do you play?” The barrage of questions continued, and I could do little but laugh. I never thought my voice was all that good, and I sure as hell never sang in front of people before. If my pop thought dogs were for sissies, then I could only imagine what he’d say if he heard me sing. I wouldn’t mind learning how to strum a guitar though, but I have to wait until I get sprung from this joint for all that.

“No, Jeff, I’m not in a band, and my voice isn’t all that great. I just like singing in the shower. You weren’t really supposed to be listening but you were spying on me ya perv!” I answered feigning surprise. “As for you, I knew you had to be a choir boy. That’s the only way my little fantasy plays out perfect in my head” I threw in a wiggle of the eyebrows and a wink for show. It does make for a good story though, the choir boy being whisked away by the bad boy from the streets.

“And you call me a perv!” Jeff exclaimed, “I don’t even want to know any of the dirty thoughts you just washed down the drain.” I knew that was a lie. His mouth said one thing, but his eyes were begging for details. Paying him back for all the teasing he’s done to me over the course of the day, I simply cocked an eyebrow, smiled, and walked away. I could hear the “Hmmphh” of a person that didn’t get their way and I couldn’t help but smile. He was like a little kid being told he couldn’t have candy before dinner.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of meaningless chatter and contemplating our visit to the institute. I was expecting to end up somewhere where there were hundreds of kids, along with your typical prison activity, like gangs, fights, and such. Getting word that there were only eight other teens where we were headed was kinda weird. That’s a little more intimate of a setting, and that is unsettling my nerves something fierce. I was personally hoping to just fade into the background but that isn’t going to happen I suppose. Jeff seemed to be having his own reserves as well. Countless times he’d look up like he was about to ask a question, but he’d cock his head to the side and continue on sketching on what little paper we had.

His drawings were beautiful. How he could produce anything with a stubby jail house pencil was a feat in itself. Prison might actually work for him if they knew he could sketch like that. Tattoo artists are always in high demand, and his work would easily trump the best artists behind bars. The current picture he’s working on has me on a stage in front of what looks like thousands of screaming fans with a guitar in my hands. Just seeing that picture got me lost in my mind once again…

…

Looking at the signed posters in the green room, I can see the signatures from the many greats that have played here before. I can see Kurt Cobain, my idol, hanging from the wall in the form of a life sized poster. The crowd that has amassed outside is so loud they are drowning out our voices as we attempt to settle our nerves before rocking out the house. Jeff is sitting next to me fiddling around with a set of drum sticks being goofy as always.

A knock at the door tells us it’s time to go on. As we walk backstage of the concert hall our adrenaline is pumping a mile a minute. The stage is in sight, and the pulse of the bass causes our hearts to thump to the beat. A single spotlight hits the stage as we appear and the crowd’s screams reach a fever pitch. I grab the microphone and greet the crowd with a “HELLLLLLOOOO LONDON!!!!”

….

“NATE! Geez dude, where did you go in that head of yours? Dinner’s here. Whatever you were thinking about must have been good, you were smiling ear to ear. Was it me by chance?” Jeff questioned with a toothy grin. Even though he was just being cute, as always, his words carried more weight than Jeff could imagine. Maybe, just maybe, he’s right. I mean, I have no aspirations for the future, right? Well, at least it’s a fun goal to strive for, that is if I ever get out of this place.

Seeing the dinner tray brought me back to Earth. I’d tell you what it is, but I can’t figure it out. Let’s see, we have some brown chunky stuff, a bunch of wilted leafs (spinach maybe), a slice of bread, and a piece of un-iced cake. I’m surprised I haven’t died of malnutrition by now. At least this is the last I have to worry about it. Tomorrow hopefully I’ll be munching on food I can at least identify.

Dinner conversation was rather muted with both of us still wondering how the coming days were going to be like. We were headed out together, but how was this going to work? The way that we’ve been acting together it is going to be obvious to anyone with two eyes and a brain that we can’t stop thinking about each other. Maybe the fear of getting booted out of the program will stop the homophobes from starting shit with us. God, I hope so. I’m also pretty scared that I’m going to fuck up and get sent back to the clink. I’m not worried about going back behind the wall, but knowing that I had a chance to be with Jeff to the end and getting sent off without him would tear me to pieces. Enough thinking like that; my eyes are already starting to tear up and Jeff’s starting to look concerned again.

“Nate, you know we’re gonna be alright, right? As long as I keep my head down, and you keep your temper in check we’ll walk out of there together, ‘kay? Screw everyone else and whatever they might think. It’s not like we have a lot of people to worry about, and I’m sure the adults will keep a closer eye on the group than normal. Now, finish your slop and stop worrying!” Jeff had a way of putting me at ease without even trying. It amazes me that a boy that has slightly mousey features and a demeanor to match is the one calming ME down. More and more I wish I had someone to brag to, placing him up on a pedestal. Most people are looking for someone they can take home to Mom and Dad, but not me. There is no way I’d allow those two to corrupt my perfect mate!

After finishing up our “slop”, I kicked back on my bunk hoping to sleep my last few hours here away, but that thought was quickly pushed away when I noticed Jeff preparing to shower again. At least I don’t have to hide my desire now. Jeff, noticing me watching, started to tease me again, seductively removing his clothing. Slowly and tantalizing, leaving just enough to the imagination that I was worked up all over again. Right when I was just about to get the money shot he jumped in the shower and threw his boxers over the curtain. For that, he will pay dearly.

I laid back down willing my raging boner to shrink back to normal. Letting myself begin to drift off to sleep, my mind’s eye began to dream for the future, and how things could be. I think it would be cool to live out in the country somewhere, maybe in the mountains. I’m pretty sure anywhere far away from home would suffice. I wonder what Jeff plans on doing when we grow up a bit. He seems like the arts kinda person, like a posh painter or something. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the flaming assistant to the art director type. No sir, he’s all man, but he has a flair that is hard to describe. A mix between vogue and street style.

As if to prove my earlier point, no sooner than the water started, he started singing, and just like his reaction earlier, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He said he was a choir boy, and I reserved that fantasy for another day, but dayam! He was singing a song by this cute kid, Hunter Hayes. I took my sister to a Taylor Swift concert for Christmas and Hunter was the opening act. The moment the young man opened his mouth and began his set I was smitten. Just hearing Jeff sing his songs is making me fall more in love with him. Whoa, love?!? Well that just kinda slipped itself in there somehow. Well, it is what it is. By now I’m fighting to stay awake just to hear his angelic voice for a few more moments, but it’s a losing. He’s lulling me to sleep and I can’t fight it. The last I heard was him softly sing “…you’ll always be wanted...” and I was out.

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The sound of the overhead intercom powering up stirred me awake, but I didn’t want to move. A freshly cleansed Jeff was nuzzled up in my arms breathing ever so softly. How I was ever able to sleep alone before eluds me. This was sooo comfortable. It didn’t last for long, though. Overhead, the speaker blared “Burgis! Bessie! Bunk and Junk!!” We were both groggy, but we rounded up our gear and waited by the cell door to be handed over to our transportation. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but if I had to guess I’d say about three am. Usually I’m just now going to bed. That might explain why everything feels like the universe has been flipped upside-down.

Apparently they weren’t just going to set us in a vehicle and ship us off. First we were fingerprinted for the umpteenth time and made to take another shower. Of course a free show would never bother me, but I suspect both of us were too tired to make much work of it. Next we were shuffled off to a room with a large sign reading “BOO ING”. These halls are seriously spooky, especially at this hour. Made me wonder if an inmate decided to steal the ‘K’ out of ‘booking’ to model into a shiv for an unsuspecting enemy.

The booking office was dreadfully boring. According to the clock on the wall it was only ten pm, so I was off by five hours. The only way to tell time in lockup is by the meals, and since dinner is served at four pm, you get lost at night. Both Jeff and I were shackled together and locked to an old wooden bench in between a pair of drunken hobos that reeked of weeks of gin and vomit. I personally was afraid to open my mouth to talk to Jeff for fear of the toxins in the air floating into my lungs. I’m pretty sure the asshole jailers did that on purpose.

An hour had passed, and we still sat between the bums. There was simply no way to get comfortable, especially because smelly guy number one fell asleep and is very close from using my shoulder as a pillow. The other guy decided to break into incoherent melody. It was funny at first, but now I really want to knock out his last tooth. Finally a short fat guard came over and rudely yanked me and Jeff up, causing the handcuffs to dig deep into our wrists. What a dick! He’s the type that has an inferiority complex. Twelve years of hell going through school, so he becomes a cop and flexes his muscles. Anyway, Porky, as I like to think of him, led us to a desk where we signed our transfers, collected the little bit of property we had, and said our goodbyes to good old Saint Clair County Jail. I dunno about Jeff, but mine came in the form of a double-fisted, single-fingered salute.

A younger gentleman in a tee shirt and jeans came over and greeted us at Porky’s desk. He didn’t look like a cop, but the badge clipped to his belt told me otherwise. He looked youthful, and if you ask me, kinda hot, ahem, not that I’m looking. He introduced himself as Mark, and surprising both of us removed our shackles, and handed us a bag containing pretty much the same outfit he had on. He informed us to go ahead and get changed right where we were because, and I quote “the pricks around here won’t let you out of their sight anyways.” Yup, that pretty much put Mark in the “cool” column in my book.

It didn’t take long to get dressed into ‘normal cloths’, and man, it felt good. I looked at Jeff and he looked just like I felt; like a boulder had been removed off both our backs. I could feel the shit-eating grin on my face growing with every step we took towards the door. Without even thinking, Jeff reached over and held my hand. I made no move to stop him, as it felt like the natural thing to do. Mark quickly noticed, and informed us that the sheriff filled him in on our ‘unique situation’ but we would talk about that at our orientation tomorrow. Today, he said, was for a little unwinding from our trip through that hell hole. Walking us to his car, he gave us a stern warning not to even think about trying a fast one. We were not to let the little bit of freedom he was giving us go to our heads. Psshh, like we would!

Reaching the car, Mark suggested we “rock, paper, scissors” for the front seat, but we both chose the back. To us it was a no brainer. I checked the rearview mirror to see Mark’s reaction, and it was comforting to see a complacent grin on his face. He hasn’t shown an ounce of bigotry at all. If the rest of the staff and ‘clients’ are half as understanding as Mark here, I think our time at the institute will be just fine. Jeff looked at me with sleep in his eyes, and without saying a word told me how much he cares. Enveloped in Jeff’s affection, I snuggled closer preparing for the long drive to whatever small town they are sending us to. The car began to roll out of the parking lot, and before we reached the end of the block I was asleep with Jeff in my arms once again.