Aaron's Dilemma - 5. The Parental Confrontation

My heart pounds faster the closer we get to South Hill. Holding Slade’s hand is the only thing keeping me sane. I know we have to face the consequences for lying about this weekend. I’m just not ready to.

My only hope is for God to answer one of my million silent prayers. There could be so many outcomes for tonight with each feeling like a worst-case scenario. I can handle Dad being mad, but disappointment is something that’s hard to come back from.

I need to know what’s going on, and press ‘call’ on my phone, and it rings three times. “Aaron, what the hell did you do?” Candace whispers into the phone.

Nervously drumming my fingers against the steering wheel, I ask, “Don’t worry about it. How’s Ma?”

“Well, she's pacing the house like a crazy woman,” she pauses. “Aar, you should know that... uh, Daddy’s been smoking. He’s gone through almost half a pack already.”

“Dammit,” I mutter.

Dad only smokes when he’s upset. The last time was three years ago, when his younger brother passed away suddenly. Now, he’s smoking because of me, and I hate that I’ve put him in that frame of mind.

Sighing heavily, I say, “Okay. I’m about an hour away. Do me a favor and keep me posted. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem,” Candace says, clearing her throat. “Aaron, you know I love you, and that you can tell me anything, right?”

“I love you, too, squirt. But I can’t tell you, not right now, there’s too much goin’ on.”

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get here,” Candace says hanging up.

I exhale slowly. Placing my phone between my legs, I look over at Slade. He strokes my hand lazily with his thumb. He joins our hands together and kisses the back of mine, and he smiles.

“You okay, Jones?”

“I have no idea what to say when I see my parents,” he says solemnly.

“Play it by ear. Only thing they know is we were at the cabin but nothing else. Let them do all the talking. Hopefully, we can get out of it with as little damage as possible.”

Slade snorts loudly. “Aar, do you honestly think that’s going to work? Your mom knows about us, and has probably connected the dots by now. What if she’s already told your dad?”

Shaking my head, I reply, “She wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Okay, let’s say she covers for us. Do you really want her to keep lying?”

I shrug and answer, “Of course not, but what other choice do I have?”

Seconds go by when Slade whispers, “We can tell my parents and your dad about us.”

Caught off guard, I jerk the wheel nearly hitting the car on my left. I rip my hand from Slade’s to get control of the truck. Horns blare all around me. The driver I almost hit flips me off and curses profusely.

I slowly maneuver to the shoulder. Turning to face Slade, I see the wide-eyed panic in his eyes, as he white knuckles the door handle. He looks at me and asks, “You okay?”

My voice cracks a little, “Yeah, you?”

He laughs nervously. “Yup, but I think I may have peed a little.”

“You can avoid that by not giving me a heart attack while I’m driving. I could’ve wrecked ‘cause of you,” I reply angrily.

He turns quickly towards me his eyes filled with shock. “Whoa!”

“Listen. I’m sorry, okay?” I offer half-heartedly rolling my eyes.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Slade retorts.

Knowing I overacted, I grab his hand. “Jones, fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, but you throw me a curveball. You’re not serious about telling them?”

He stares out the window, and quietly states, “It’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past two hours. There’s no way around it.”

“We have other options,” I state desperately.

He sighs shaking his head. “They already know we were at the cabin. Your mom knows we’re dating. Whatever we say, she’ll know it’s a lie. We have to tell them.”

“We can tell them we were up there with a couple of girls.” I knew I was wrong the second the words came out my mouth.

The hurt flashes in Slade’s eyes. He clears his throat, but his voice is shaky, “You’re willing to shit all over the memory of our first time with a lie about being with a girl?”

Closing my eyes, I grab his hand, and answer, “No, no, I’m not. Forget I even said it. But, Slade, are you honestly ready to come out to your folks? ‘Cause you freaked when I told you Ma knew about us. What’s the difference between now and then?”

His face softens but offers a melancholy smile. “I guess your mom knowing was just the first step. Baby, we shared the most important part of ourselves with each other last night. I can’t ever go back to living my life hiding behind a girlfriend. I want everybody to know how much I love you. Aar, aren’t you tired of lying?”

Nodding, I whisper, “Yeah, of course I am, but if we tell them, this could be the worst night of our lives.”

Moving in closer, he hugs me, and I bury my face in his neck. A few minutes pass when he pulls back placing his forehead against mine. “Aar, I know you don’t think so, but this is the best decision.”

Slade’s a risk taker when it matters. If he hadn’t kissed me first, I know we wouldn’t be together now. The fact that he wants to come out has me at a crossroad. Going into an almost Zen-like state, I think about the two most important men in my life:

Dad is the first man to love me. When I was sick, he was there, and held me. His words of encouragement have been life altering. He’s taught me so much over the years, but the most important thing I learned is to be a loving, respectful man. I owe him everything. Does that mean I should sacrifice Slade in order to repay him for all his years of love and support?

Slade is my soul mate. I honestly don't know how I existed in this world before without him. He’s my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I want to make him happy for the rest of our lives. He’s always there for me. Now, he wants me to be there for him. How can I deny him?

I’d be a shell of myself if I lost Slade. No matter how scared I am. Telling Dad I’m gay and in love with my best friend and boyfriend of two years feels like the right thing to do.

A sigh cuts into my thoughts. With a raspy whisper, Slade says, “I know this is sudden, but I can’t live like this anymore, Aaron. Something is telling me to tell my parents, and I want you by my side, when I do. If you can’t, I’ll let you go so I can find someone who can.”

He gets out the truck slamming the door behind him. I stay in the truck watching him pace angrily. After a few minutes, he stops, leans his back against the truck, and cries. I walk quickly over to him. I kiss his forehead and wrap him in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry, Aar,” he whispers pitifully. “I shouldn’t have said that to you.”

I rub his back. “No, ‘cause you’re right, Jones. We’ve spent years lying to our family and friends. So, let’s do it. We’ll tell them about us tonight.”

The warm Virginia air blows gently as we hold each other. He pulls back, even with his face all splotchy he’s still the most gorgeous man on the planet to me. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“No matter what happens tonight. I got your back, Jones.”

Slade’s eyes twinkle in the moonlight. “And I got yours.”

The touch of his lips against mine is sweet and gentle. We stumble back against the truck. His hands roam under my shirt and up my back. His short nails scrape down my back repeatedly. My shirt is almost over my head when I regretfully stop him by pulling his hands away.

Someone from a passing car yells out, “GET A ROOM!”

Shaking my head and laughing, I pull my shirt back down, and say, “We gotta go.”

“What if I offered you sex right now?” Slade says, running his hand down the front of my pants.

“I’d say that you’re trying to stall after I finally agreed to come out to my dad.”

Smiling mischievously, he says, “Shit. That obvious, huh?”

“Yeah, it was.”

Slade shrugs and unceremoniously climbs in the truck. I curse under my breath walking to the driver’s side. This is happening. The adrenaline pumps hard through my veins. Navigating my way back onto the road, I stay in the slow lane to earn us just a few more minutes of anonymity.

“We need to talk about how we’re going to do this,” I state timidly.

“At my house,” Slade offers.

Nervously, I announce, “I’ll call Candace, and have her tell my parent’s to meet us there.”

My fingers tremble as I call her. “What’s up, bro?” Candace answers quickly.

“Squirt, can you tell Ma and Dad to meet me at Slade’s?”

“Why?” Candace asks.

“Can you please give them the message? We should be there in half an hour.”

“Ok. I’ll tell them.”

“Thank you.”

“No problemo.” Candace clears her throat. “Bro, are you okay?”

“I honestly don’t know, squirt.”

There’s a pause before she says, “I’ll be here if you need me. Bye.” With that, she ends the call.

<><><><><><>

Forty minutes later, we arrive at Slade’s, but neither of us moves from the truck. I can’t seem to will my legs to move. Slade leans in kissing me purposely but passionately. We part hearing the front door open. Both sets of parents step out onto the porch. There’s no turning back now.

Slade turns to me and says, “Baby, no matter what happens in there, I love you.”

I look in his eyes and say, “I love you, too.”

We step out the truck. I walk over to Slade and he grabs my hand linking our fingers together. He smiles warmly. We take a deep breath at the same time and walk towards the house.

The look on my dad’s face is enough to make me want to turn and run. His mouth opens and closes before he walks back into the house with Mr. Jones following close behind.

I look at Ma. She smiles and it’s encouraging. I choose to focus on her, but I can see Miss April covering her mouth out the corner of my eye. Reaching the bottom of the steps, Slade leads me up to the porch, and we each stop in front of our mothers.

Miss April gestures with her head. “Get in the house.”

Walking past them, we hold onto each other for dear life. Our fathers pace manically and the vibe in the room is overwhelming.

“What the hell is this?” Mr. Jones hisses causing us to step back.

Slade squares his shoulders and holds his head high. “Pa, I love him, and he loves me too. We want to be together.”

The rabid look in Mr. Jones’ eyes is scary. “What the hell do you mean, ‘you want to be together’? You can’t be together. It’s wrong in every sense of the word. There’s no way you love him. You have no idea what that word means,” he fumes.

“Terry, stop, please, can’t you see you’re scaring them?” Miss April tells him.

Throwing his hands in the air, he leans his arm on the mantle. He’s curses loudly. “This is not fucking happening. Women were put on this earth for a man to love her, not to be cast aside for another man.” Mr. Jones continues getting madder by the second.

“Terry, please! Give them a chance to explain,” Ma shouts over his ranting. “Sit down, you two.”

We sit on the couch. My heart races and I feel light-headed. This really happened. We came out to our parents.

Miss April clears her throat, “How long has this been going on?”

Looking at Slade, I answer for the both of us, “Two years.”

A loud gasp from everyone but Ma fills my ears. She stands stoic not saying anything. I’m not expecting her to either.

Dad stares at me. I see no sign of disgust, but the disappointment is clear. “You’re telling us that you’re gay?”

The pulse in my neck throbs faster and harder. I speak. “Yes, sir, we are.”

“This is just a passing phase. You’re not serious about each other. It’s not like you’re not having sex, right?” Dad asks. I avoid his hopeful eyes seeking validation. Not out of shame but because I can’t watch the hope fade from his eyes.

“This is priceless. We have degenerates for sons,” Mr. Jones says nastily, looking over at my father. Dad sits there motionless taking in the information that his only son is gay.

“Aaron, you told me you weren’t having sex,” Ma says, stepping forward. Everyone stops to look at her.

Dad stares in disbelief. “Dani, you knew and didn’t tell me? Why? When did you find out?” He walks over gripping her shoulders in his large hands.

“A year ago, and I was gonna confront them, but I decided against it. I saw how in love they are. There was no way I was going to rip them apart. For a year, I’d hoped Aaron would tell us, but he didn’t. Chris, it wasn’t my place to tell you, as much as I may have wanted to.”

“I’m confused. How do you know about them not having sex?” Miss April asks harshly.

Ma takes a pause before answering. “He’s been so sad. I knew why, so I told Aaron that I knew about him and Slade during his birthday party. We talked and that’s how I know.” Turning to Dad, she says, “I told him it had to be his decision to tell you.”

Dad shakes his head stepping away from her. Slade begins to tremble. I grip his hand tighter, running my thumb along his hand to help soothe him, but it doesn’t work.

“There’s no way my son is some fucking queer,” Mr. Jones interjects. He points to me. “You, the sooner you leave the better. He doesn’t need you to confuse him with your depravity.”

I flinch at the harshness of his words.

“Stop it,” Slade whispers repeatedly.

“This is wrong. You know it and I know it,” Mr. Jones continues ignoring Slade’s pleas.

“Stop it, Pa.” Slade stands, holding my hand tight. “I love him. This isn’t his fault. I’m the one who started it.”

“Boy, you’re confused. Don’t try and cover for this faggot,” Mr. Jones says, looking at me with disdain.

Slade stops Dad when he moves to intervene. “Don’t, Mr. Brooks. I got it.” He turns to his father. “He’s not a faggot and neither am I. Pa, I’m gay. I tried hard not to be but I can’t deny it anymore. I’m in love with him and nothing’s gonna change that,” he says smiling down at me.

“I’m telling you, if you choose to lead this lifestyle, you’re no longer welcomed in this house,” Mr. Jones says in an eerie, quiet tone.

Hearing enough, I stand beside Slade, and look Mr. Jones straight in the eyes. “He’s not choosing to live this lifestyle. It’s who he is. It’s who I am. We’re in love. We want to be together and we will be.” I look at Dad, and say, “I won’t give him up. Not for anyone.”

Mr. Jones takes a menacing step toward me but Dad blocks his path in an instant.

“Terry, I’ll drop you where you stand if you lay a finger on my son. Step... the... fuck... back, now!” Dad says getting nose to nose with him. Knowing my dad is not one to mince words, Mr. Jones steps back, shaking his head in disgust.

“I wanna talk to you outside,” Dad says motioning for me to follow him.

Rubbing my forearm, Slade leans in whispering, “Baby, go. He might be upset but he still loves you.”

I nod. He kisses my cheek, winks and releases my hand. Miss April starts crying. He goes to her, and whispers silently in her ear.

I follow Dad out the front door. He places a hand on my shoulder supportively, the way he has so many times before tonight, and I almost lose it. We stand on the porch, but neither of us says anything. Dad sits on the top step while I stand beside him.

"Aaron, I thought we were close, and that we told each other everything. Why didn’t you tell me?” Dad asks. I hear the hurt in his voice.

Sitting down next to him, I sigh, “Dad, I didn’t want you to look at me differently. I didn’t want our relationship to change ‘cause of this one thing.”

“So, all those times you were asking to stay, it was because you wanted to be with Slade?” Dad asks.

“Yes, sir, it was.”

Holding his head down, Dad’s voice is low, “Jesus, Aaron. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. We were upset about you lying, because if something had happened to you, we wouldn’t have known.” He continues on, “Then you walk in hand and hand with your best friend declaring your love for one another. What do you want me to say?”

“That you love me no matter what, Dad. I never wanted to see that disappointment in your eyes. Lying to you for the rest of my life was a thought I considered, but Slade would’ve broken up with me if I chose you over him. I couldn’t sacrifice my happiness to ensure yours.”

With an indignant scoff, Dad says, “What makes you think I’d ever want you to sacrifice your happiness for me?”

The tears roll steadily down my cheeks. “I’m your only son, the one to help secure the Brooks’ family line. I know you dreamt of a wife and children for me. I was willing to give you all those things ‘cause I thought I had to be the straight son you deserved.”

“After what you’ve been through, of course I’ve dreamt of you standing in a church waiting to get married. I saw grandkids. But my major dream for you is being a happy, well-adjusted adult. You can’t achieve that if you’re livin’ your life for me.”

We stop talking. I listen to the crickets off in the distance.

Quietly, Dad asks, “Aaron, what changed? Why’d y’all decide tell us tonight?”

Staring off into the distance, I tearfully ask, “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes. Tell me.”

I bite my lower lip nervously. “We been together for two years, but last night we made love for the first time. It’s always felt right being with Slade and last night solidified those feelings. This isn’t a passing phase. This is as real as you and Ma.”

Turning his head from me, I hear him sniffling softly. I decided to ask the only question that matters at this point. “Can you ever accept the fact that I’m gay?”

“Aar, I honestly can’t answer your question right now,” Dad says looking over at me. He clasps a hand to my neck. “I love you, but right now, this is too much for me to handle. I’ve gotta go clear my head. I’ll see you back at the house.”

Shaking my head, I desperately tell him, “Dad, don’t leave. What about Mr. Jones?”

He smiles. “He won’t try anything. Not with you.”

“How do you know that?”

His forehead bumps against mine. “Because you’re my son, and you can handle yourself, kiddo.”

With one last look, he places his hand on my shoulder, and gives it a squeeze. Dad’s in the car before I can process the words he’d spoken to me only seconds before. I watch as the car disappears. I wipe away my tears and head back into the house. Ma walks over pulling me in a tight embrace.

I hear Slade talking to his mother. “It’s not true, Mama, this isn’t your fault.”

“It is true. I let you do whatever you wanted. If I’d tightened the reins, you wouldn’t be telling me you’re a homosexual.”

“Mama, I was born gay. You had nothing to do with that. I love him so much,” Slade says softly.

Miss April pulls away from him shaking her head. “I can’t listen to you talk like this.” She stands up, walks out of the room, and up the stairs without another word.

“Mama,” Slade calls after her. I’m by his side in a flash, as he cries burying his face in my chest.

Mr. Jones comes downstairs shortly after. I recoil from his look of repulsion. “Get out of my house.”

“Pa, please don’t do this!” Slade begs, twisting out of my arms.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re not my son,” Mr. Jones states cruelly. He flings the front door open. “Your mother asked me not to kick you out, so I won’t. But from now on you’re a tenant: you pay rent, utilities, and for your own food. Other than that, I don’t wanna hear anything from you. Unless, it’s to say you’ve come to your senses and denounce being a faggot.”

The defeated look on Slade’s face is heartbreaking. He wanted his family to know he was gay and in love, and to be happy for him. Instead, he’s wiping away the tears of hurt and abandonment at the hands of his parent’s because he loves me. I should’ve tried harder to talk him out of telling them. This is my fault.

Slade wipes the tears from his face, and says solemnly, “Yes, sir.”

Ma stops him before he walks past her. “Terry, don’t do this. I know you’re upset, but Slade is still your son. I don’t want you to say or do something else that you’ll regret. You’ll lose him if you keep going down this road,” Ma pleads.

“It’s immoral, Danielle. The Bible taught you, me, and them that homosexuality is wrong.” Mr. Jones turns pointing angrily at us. His disgusted gaze rests on Slade. “The second he chose to be gay, he lost the right to be my son. Close the door on your way out,” he calls out, stomping up the stairs.

“It’s okay, honey. Give them some time to cool down,” Ma says stroking Slade’s shoulders.

“Get your asses back in your room and mind your fucking business,” Mr. Jones yells, multiple doors slam shut.

Slade whispers, gasping for air. “I just destroyed my family.”

“Jones, I’m right here,” I tell him, wrapping him tight in my arms. He shakes uncontrollably.

“I’m gonna grab a cold towel,” Ma says, sprinting to the kitchen.

I continue to whisper words of encouragement into his ear while rubbing his back. Ma returns with the wet towel. I carefully wipe his face and neck. Slade’s breathing normalizes a couple minutes later.

His voices breaks when he says, “I gotta get out of here.”

“Come on, honey. You’re staying with us tonight. We’ll set you up in the living room,” Ma says with tears in her eyes.

I mouth ‘thank you’ and she nods.

We walk out closing the door softly behind us. Ma looks around and asks, “Where’s your father?”

Chewing my bottom lip, I tell her, “He left said he had to clear his head, and that he’ll meet us back at the house.”

Looking worried, she sighs heavily and replies, “Fine. Slade, go grab some clothes. I’ll leave a message in the morning to let them know you’re with us.

“I have clothes in the truck already,” he replies, placing his head on my shoulder.

“Grab more just in case,” Ma answers.

“Yes, ma’am.” Slade walks hurriedly to his room.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” I hiss. “Ma, how can they do that to him?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. In some weird way, I can understand where they’re coming from. But they shouldn’t have made him feel like there was something wrong with him. There’s nothing wrong with either of you,” Ma says emphatically.

“We should’ve kept our mouths shut. I didn’t want him to get hurt, and that’s exactly what happened.”

“I know you didn’t. Y’all did what you thought was right, but Slade’s gonna need you more than he ever has before. Be there for him, okay?”

“That won’t be a problem,” I say, looking towards Slade’s room. He emerges with a bag of clothes. The walk to the truck is somber. We drive in silence back to my house.

<><><><><><>

My heart drops when I don’t see the car. However, as concerned as I am about Dad not being here, Slade is my priority.

Moving like the walking dead, the three of us climb the steps, and through the front door. Candace looks cheesed sitting on the stairs. She glares at me, “I got a text from Kevin. He said you two came out tonight. I wanna know what’s going and I wanna know now.”

Candace stands. Her eyes focus on mine as she walks towards me.

Ma intervenes by standing in-between us. “Not right now, Candy. It’s been a rough night.” Ma turns to me. “Go set up in the living room. I’ll call out for pizza. What toppings do y’all want?”

“No, Mama. Answer me, Aaron, is it true?” Candace asks as she moves around Ma to stand beside me.

“I’ll be right outside,” I tell Slade. He nods and smiles sympathetically. Grabbing Candace’s hand, I lead her out to the porch. She leans against the banister with her arms and legs crossed. She waits impatiently. I can only hope she’ll forgive me for not being the one to tell her.

Miffed, she asks, “So, are you going to stand there staring at the ground or are you going to answer me?”

Dejected, I answer her. “Yes, it’s true.”

Candace shakes her head in disbelief. “I can understand you not telling Mama and Daddy, but this is me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sitting down on the porch swing, I think about why I haven’t told her, and my main reason was to protect her. “Can, I didn’t want you to have to keep my secret. You shouldn’t have to protect or lie for me, especially about something this big. I couldn’t do that to you. Are you mad?”

She reaches out whacking the back of my head softly. “Yeah, I’m mad. You should’ve been the one to tell me and not Kevin in a freaking text,” Candace says annoyed. “I kept asking you if you had something to tell me.”

Candace stands up punching me hard twice in both shoulders.

“Shit,” I exclaim. “You don’t have to punch so freaking hard.”

She plops down next to me on the swing. “Well, you deserve it, asshole! Don’t you keep something this big from me again do you hear me? ”

“I’ll try not to.” I take a pause before asking, “You can live with having a gay brother?”

“I’ve lived with you this long. The only difference now is I know. You’re still the same old pain in the ass older brother to me,” Candace says smiling.

“C’mere,” I say, wrapping my arms around her. She hugs me.

When she leans back, she’s grinning like The Cheshire Cat. “Can I tell you something else?” she asks.

Apprehensively, I nod. “Yeah.”

With a smirk, she bumps her shoulder against mine, and says, “I kinda suspected a few months back.”

My mouth drops open out of pure shock. “Bullshit. No, you didn’t.”

“Calm down. It’s not like I walked in on you or anything like that.”

“So how?”

Candace smiles and says, “It was Slade’s birthday. You were standing at the bottom of the stairs. When you saw him, you had this look in your eyes. It was brief, but I recognized it. Remember, it was after that day, when I started saying you could tell me anything?”

All I can do is smile in amazement at her. “You’re too smart for your own good, squirt. Here I am thinking I was being covert.”

“Well, you weren’t. Should’ve noticed it sooner though, I’m usually way more intuitive,” she says shaking her head again in disbelief.

I laugh taking a good look at my sister. “Are we okay?”

“We’re fine, but keep me in the loop. You never know when I can give you some stellar advice.”

“What kind of advice are we talking about here?” I ask suspiciously.

“Well, if I’d known about the two of you. I would’ve told you to get your friends to cover for you. Or you could’ve gotten me to cover for you. Instead, you did it your way and got bopped. You would still be wherever you were if you had me on your side.”

I nod in agreement. “But now, everything is out in the open, maybe it was supposed to happen this way. Except for the way his parents reacted, especially Mr. Jones.” I replay the hurtful words, and wince.

Concerned, she asks, “That bad?”

“It was the first time someone called me a ‘faggot’ and it hurt.”

Candace’s eyes flash and her upper lip twitches. “He called you a what?”

I try to calm her. “Forget I even told you ‘cause it’s not important.”

“Uh, how about no? No one has the right to call you or anyone else such a disgusting word. I’ve never liked Mr. Jones. He’s an asshat. What about Miss April?”

“Miss April seems like she might come around eventually.” I sigh heavily.

Candace asks, “Where’s Daddy?”

I shrug, shaking my head. “He took off. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if Dad can’t accept me, Can.”

“Daddy loves you. Have faith, bro, I do,” Candace says with confidence.

My eyes water as I answer, “Faith is hard to have when you don’t believe.”

“Then I’ll have it for the both of us.” Candace pats and rubs my shoulders. “I have one question though. Why come out now?”

“That seems to be the question of the night. It was both our decision but Slade’s mostly. He had an epiphany on the drive back. He said he was ready to admit to his parents he was gay and in love.”

“He’s in love with you?” Candace asks wide-eyed.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t he be? It’s not like I’m some blue, scaly, buck-toothed space creature.”

She cackles loudly. “I didn’t mean it like that. Are you in love with him?”

“Oh, yeah,” I grin stupidly.

“My God, that was sickeningly sweet, but I’m happy for you, Aar.”

“Thanks, squirt. That means a lot to me.”

Candace hits me again. “Don’t call me, squirt.”

“Stop hitting me or I’ll call the cops on ya.” I laugh but she looks pensive. “What’s wrong?”

“I do have one concern,” she says seriously.

“What?”

“That you’re gonna get hurt.”

“You’re crazy. I’m not gonna get hurt,” I tell her with all the confidence I can muster.

“So you’re going to have a long distance relationship? You remember what Auntie Marsha went through when she and Uncle Tommy did the long-distance thing. I don’t want the whole ‘out of sight, out of mind’ mentality to hurt you the way it did her.”

How can I admit to her that I think there’s some unknown force out there that’s going to rip Slade and me apart? Maybe my nightmares of Slade disappearing from my life are a sign, or it’s just my imagination running.

Snapping back to reality, I assess. “I’d be lying if I said Auntie Marsha never crossed my mind, but I can’t let it get to me. We know it’ll be hard. We’re going from seeing each other almost every day to only a few times over the next nine months. My only regret is leaving him here with parents.”

Remembering the look on Slade’s face when they walked away from him has me wiping away tears. My little sister tugs me to my feet, and lets me cry on her shoulder.

Candace whispers in my ear, “Don’t listen to me. I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Sniffling, I say, “These tears aren’t ‘cause of you. I’m just exhausted. The night’s catching up to me.”

“I love ya, Aaron.”

“I love you, too, squirt. C’mon, I need to get back inside. Ma’s probably smothering Slade.”

We part. I wipe my face off one last time before we head inside to find Ma and Slade in the kitchen looking over the pizza menu.

“Y’all alright?” Ma asks.

Candace winks at me, and I say, “Yes, ma’am, we’re good.”

“Good. What do y’all want on the pizzas?”

I order Slade’s favorite. “Pepperoni and mushrooms with extra cheese on one.”

“How about veggie?” Ma asks picking up the phone.

“Okay with me. No olives with extra tomatoes and extra garlic,” Candace states, walking over to Slade. “I’m sorry for what happened tonight. I hope your folks come around.”

“Thanks, Can, I hope so, too. Too bad not everybody thinks the way you do.”

“Oh, please! The world couldn’t handle this much perfection.” Candace says, running a hand through her long blonde hair. Rolling my eyes, I shove her making Slade laugh.

<><><><><><>

Slade moves about in a foggy haze. I try not to smother him but I want him to know I’m around if he needs me. We wash up before the pizzas arrive. I setup the sleeping bags in the living room.

When the pizzas arrive, we devour them in famished silence. Ma finishes her last bite, and stretches with a loud yawn. “Well, I’m tired. I think it’s time to hit the hay.”

“I think we’re all feeling the same way,” I tell her, placing a hand on Slade’s thigh, and he smiles wistfully.

Ma walks over to him, grabs the sides of his face, and tilts his head back. “You’re gonna be fine, okay?”

“Thank you, Miss Dani,” Slade whisper. Ma wraps him in a giant hug.

Ma and Candace start cleaning up, but I wave them off. “Don’t worry about it. Y’all go to bed.”

“That’s fine with me. Night,” Candace says dropping her plate. She hugs us all, and smiles thoughtfully as she exits.

“Night,” we answer in unison.

“Goodnight,” Ma says giving me a hug and kiss to the forehead. She kisses Slade’s cheek.

“Night, Ma.”

“G’Night, Miss Dani,” Slade says standing and hugging her. Ma rubs his back. She smiles at both of us before walking out the kitchen.

With Slade’s help, we cleanup quickly, turn off the lights except for the one over the stove.

“Which side do you want?” I ask looking down at the sleeping bags.

“This one,” he replies, sitting down with a groan. He lays on his back with an exhausted sigh. I kneel beside him placing a light kiss to his lips.

“I’m so sorry. I wish things had gone differently tonight,” I tell him sincerely.

Sitting up, Slade looks confused, but chuckles, “Why are you sorry? We both know what happened tonight’s my fault. You said lie but I had to tell my parent’s and look where it got me. My father disowned me. Mama can’t even look at me. Your dad’s not home that’s my fault too. Go ahead and say it, ‘Slade, I hate you for forcing me into coming out. You’ve ruined my family.’ That’s how you feel, right?”

His once hopeful blue eyes now hold despair and remorse. He walks out the living room. I chase him down the long, dark hallway and through the dimly lit kitchen.

I call out, “Jones, stop!”

Slade unlocks the kitchen’s screen door and walks out. He’s at the top of the stairs when I grab his hand yanking him back. Spinning him around, I step in closer, and stare deeply into his distraught eyes. He struggles against my firm grasp and manages to set himself free.

He brushes past me. “Leave me alone, Aaron.”

“Not gonna happen,” I say, blocking him from walking back into the house.

I take his hands in mine; he snatches them away, and takes several steps back holding up his hands to keep me at a distance. His eyes fill with tears. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He continues to back up until he stumbles back onto the couch. When he tries to stand up, I push him back and quickly straddle him. With all my weight pinning him down, he stops struggling.

Slade’s voice is thick with emotion as he cries, “Get off me.”

I fist my hands in his short, chocolate-brown hair moving them to his neck. “Not until you listen to me.”

Shaking his head, he says, “There’s nothing you can say that will change the fact that I ruined both our families tonight. You were worried about telling your dad, but I forced you into it anyway. So, why aren’t you yelling at me? Why aren’t you kicking my ass?”

Slade glares at me, but when he sees only love and compassion in my eyes, he gets madder. “Sonofabitch, don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you look at me like you love me. Hurt me back. Hurt me the way I hurt you. I can take it. Do it!” He bellows. He hits me hard against my chest repeatedly. I have a tough time defending myself against the onslaught, but I get a good grip on his wrists, and pin them to his chest. We catch our breaths through deep, heavy pants. He tries to buck me off his lap but he’s unsuccessful. Defeated his head falls back against the couch with his chin quivering.

Placing a hand over his heart, he intakes a sharp breath and avoids looking at me. “Fine, you don’t have to look at me for me to say this. You helped me see that coming out was the right thing to do and to accept the consequences of our decision. Yes, I’m upset my dad walked away, and I want him to come home, but I’m not mad at you. I love my dad. But I chose you tonight, Jones. I’ll always choose you.”

My tears flow down my cheeks and onto Slade’s shirt.

“You’re everything to me, and I know without a doubt we’re meant to be together. I walked through my life without a purpose until I met you. And for the first time I knew what I wanted in my life and that was to be yours. And I am, I’m a million percent yours,” I state breathlessly.

The tears cascade down his cheeks. I tilt his head forward, and this time he looks me in the eyes.

“Slade, I’ll keep telling you ‘til you get it through that thick skull of yours of how much I love you. I love you,” I repeat desperately, wrapping him in a fierce hug, but his arms stay crossed between us.

Eons go by before his arms encircle my waist tightly. He buries his face in my chest. I hear him gasp several times before he sobs uncontrollably. I move from his lap and maneuver so his head is on my shoulder. Eventually, his cry softens to sporadic whimpers. “You’re the only one who loves me.”

Running a hand through his hair, I lovingly kiss his forehead. “That’s not true. A lot of people love you: your brothers and sister, grandparents, uncles and aunties, and my family. It might not feel like it but your parents love you too.”

“No they don’t. They’ll never accept me, Aar.” Slade says sadly. We sit in silence for several minutes when he tilts his head back to look at me. “I’m sorry for that meltdown.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Looking in his eyes, I ask, “Are you okay?”

Shaking his head slowly, Slade asks, “Are you? I hit you kinda hard.”

I hold up my shirt to show him my chest. “Yeah, I’m fine. See, no permanent damage.”

Slade grazes his hand over my stomach. He sniffles and says, “You should hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Jones. You might get on my nerves every once in a while, but that’s few and far between.” He laughs but the weariness is evident in his eyes. “Let’s go get some sleep.”

<><><><><><>

Slade flips onto his back. “I can’t sleep. Get in,” he says, opening his sleeping bag.

Without hesitation, I crawl inside with him. We wrap our arms tight around each other and I rub his back. He sighs snuggling in closer. “Tell me a joke. I need a good laugh,” he says.

“Ok, let me think of something.” I think of one I know he’ll like. “I’ve got one. Ready?”

He nods. “Go for it.”

“What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”

“I don’t know.” Slade replies, shaking his head.

“Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!”

He starts laughing. “Corny.”

“No, that was pure comedy gold.”

“Tell me another one,” he says.

“Ok, um, ooh, why won’t Tom Cruise shop at Sports Authority?

“Why?” Slade asks with a goofy look on his face.

“Because he likes Dick’s,” I answer with a wide grin.

Slade howls. “You’re so stupid. Where the hell did you hear that?”

“Some comedy special but I changed it up a bit,” I answer.

Slade’s laughter starts to subside and he lays his head down on the pillow still smiling. He looks at me. His thumb moves across my jaw. I lean down to kiss him. A couple of pecks turns into a full on make-out session. He’s the one to pull away.

“I gonna get in my sleeping bag now,” I whisper in his ear, but he clutches my waist.

“No, baby,” Slade says hoarsely. “Stay with me ‘til I fall asleep. Please?”

“Ok. I’ll stay, but don’t try anything, or I’ll scream like a little girl at a One Direction concert.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Slade laughs and kisses me lightly.

“Night, Jones.”

“Night, Brooks.”

He turns with his back against my chest. I continuously run my hand through his hair, and within twenty minutes, his soft, rhythmic breathing is a welcomed sound. Another hour passes and I’m the only one awake. I eye the door with the hope Dad will walk through at any moment. It’s almost 2:30am and my hope is diminishing.

All the adrenaline pumping through me earlier is virtually nonexistent now. My eyelids grow heavier.

<><><><><><>

I wake up with Slade draped over me. I smile faintly kissing his forehead.

There’s rummaging in the kitchen. Who could that be this early? A quick glance out the window answers that question: Dad’s home.

I look down as he stretches and curls up. Smiling, I kiss his cheek, cover him up, and head to the kitchen. “Mornin’, Dad.” I say, upon seeing him pour a cup of coffee. Protectively, I cross my arms.

“Mornin’, Aaron. I see Slade slept here last night,” Dad says taking a sip.

“Ma said he could. Mr. Jones laid into him after you left.” Standing across from him, I can smell the cigarette smoke.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay. What happened?” He asks curiously.

“Mr. Jones disowned him. He told Slade that he was just a tenant to him now.” Dad winces. “Miss April thinks it’s her fault. It was too much for him. Ma said he could stay a couple days.”

Neither of us talks for a good minute when Dad clears his throat. “I thought a lot last night. I can understand why you didn’t come to me. If I were in your shoes, I probably would’ve have done the exact same thing. But I really wish you had told me earlier.”

For the first time, I feel shame I hadn’t anticipated. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to put you through having a faggot for a son.”

“Don’t you ever call yourself that again,” Dad says with even and powerful voice. “I won’t stand for anyone calling you that, including yourself. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” I take a step closer. My arms fall to my side. “Do you mind if I ask you one question? If you can’t answer it, I’ll understand.”

Dad’s forehead furrows questioningly. “Go ahead.”

“Can you accept that I’m gay?”

Dad’s face is unreadable. “Truthfully, I want to but it’ll take some time for me to get there.”

“So, can you handle seeing me with another man?” I ask with trepidation.

Dad takes a big sigh. “When I walked in and saw the two of you sleeping in the living room, I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit put off. But who am I to pass judgment on you? The best thing for me to do is support you and be there whether you want me there or not. It’s gonna take some getting used to, but I honestly think I can handle it eventually.” He smiles thoughtfully. “I’m proud of the way you both stood up for yourselves and each other. You’ve grown into the man I always knew you’d be, Aaron.”

My voice breaks. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t want to be my dad anymore.”

He walks over to me and hugs me tight. I sob openly on his shoulder. “There’s nothing in this world that will ever keep me from being your dad. I love you, kiddo,” he says patting my back.

“I love you, too.”

With a final pat to my back, Dad says, “Your mama and I need to talk about a few things, okay? You should expect a huge grounding for this weekend. Go on back to the living room, and we’ll talk later. When Slade wakes up, tell him I want to talk to him, okay?”

“Yes, sir, I’ll tell him.” I wipe the tears from my face. Before he’s out the kitchen, I call out, “Dad, don’t be mad at her. Ma wanted me to be the one to tell you.”

“Go on back to sleep. We’ll talk later.” Dad hugs me one more time, walks out the kitchen and up the stairs.

Back in the living room, Slade is still where I left him. I resume my spot next to him. Slade stirs but settles with a soft sigh. I’m too excited to sleep after my conversation with Dad. He loves me, and still wants to be my father. Slade’s reality hits me when he moves in closer to me. How can I be happy for myself when his life is in shambles? I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel.

<><><><><><>

Normally, we would be in church on a Sunday morning, but we’re home eating a late breakfast instead. The conversation is light with just a hint of tension. After breakfast is over and we cleanup, my parent’s look from Slade and I, and I know what’s about to happen.

“Boys, we’d like to talk to you now.” Ma says.

Instinctively, I grab Slade’s hand, and say, “Sure.”

“This has nothing to do with me, so I’m going to Michelle’s. I’ll be back later,” Candace states.

“Okay, honey, call if you need a ride,” Dad says to her.

“Thanks, Daddy, but I think I’ll be fine.” Candace gives our parents a kiss. She walks by giving me a wink and heads out the front door.

The four of us look at each other. I wait patiently to hear my sentence.

“Your mother and I have come up with the terms of your grounding for lying and sneaking off this weekend,” Dad says, looking directly at me. “This won’t take effect until we’re in Boston. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir. What have you decided?” I ask nervously.

“We know you’re eighteen and technically an adult, but we can’t let this go unpunished. When we reach Boston, you lose your driving privileges, you’re to come straight home after school, you can only use the internet to do homework, and you have extra chores around the house for two months.”

“No driving? How am I supposed to get around?” I ask.

“There’s public transportation. You’ll get around using it,” Ma answers.

“What about my cell?” I ask uneasily.

“We’re not taking your phone privileges away completely because of your situation, but you’ll be limited to your access and how long you can use it,” Dad says looking from me to Slade.

“How long?”

“Two hours. So you’d better use your time wisely,” Ma replies.

Clinging to Slade’s hand, I look desperately at them. "That’s not enough time."

My parents have a silent conversation for a minute when I get my answer. "Okay, you'll have three hours during the weekday and four hours on the weekend," Dad answers. “Those are the terms. I suggest you take advantage of your freedom while you have it.”

“You got off easy. If it were totally up to me, it would be for the whole semester,” Ma says with a wink.

Dad laughs and looks over at Slade. “Let’s go have a talk.”

He nods, stands, and follows my father outside.

“Did Dad tell you what he was going to say to him?” I ask.

“No, he didn’t, but Slade needs to hear from a dad right now even it’s not his own. He’ll be okay.”

“I know. I’m just feeling antsy, that’s all.”

“About what?”

“After the way Mr. Jones treated him last night, I don’t think he should go back home, but where would he go? Could he come with us? He doesn’t need permission he’s eighteen. It will only be for the school year. It’s the perfect solution.”

Ma sighs. “I don’t think that would help Slade. He can’t run from his problems. He needs to be here to work things out. Plus, he has his siblings to consider. You know how close they all are, especially him and Juliet. If he disappears from her life to live with us, what do you think that will do to their relationship or to all of their relationships for that matter?”

“You’re right, he can’t come. I just hope his folks come around.”

She smiles sadly. “For all their sake, I hope so too.”

<><><><><><>

It’s a good twenty minutes before they reenter. Dad smiles, and pats my shoulder. “Y’all go out and enjoy the day. Be home by midnight.”

“Yes, sir, thank you.” He winks and heads upstairs. “You okay? What’d you talk about?” I ask, shoving my hands into my back pockets.

“Yeah, I’m fine. We talked about me and you, and my folks.” Slade puts his hands on my waist. “He said he understood Pa being upset, but wasn’t gonna to make excuses for the terrible things he said. He thought maybe if he’d stayed, things wouldn’t have gone as far as they had, and he apologized.”

Slade slides his hands into my back pockets and links our fingers. “Okay. What else did ya talk about?”

Looking lovingly into my eyes, he hums sliding in closer. “I told him the love I have for you is real.”

“How did he react?” I take my hands from my pockets and place them lightly at Slade’s neck.

His hands make their way up my back. “He just nodded and kept asking questions. He wanted to know if we really know what having a long distance relationship means, and if we can deal with the separation.”

“Did you tell him we’d already talked about it?” I ask, leisurely playing with his ears.

“I told him we worked it out, but we have to talk about who visits for what holiday and vacation. He seemed relieved for the most part. He told me that even though he has his beliefs that he’s happy for us.”

I put my forehead on his. “Do you feel better after talking to him?”

“Yeah,” Slade says, sighing softly. He puts his head on my shoulder and strokes my back.

“Let’s get outta here? Where’d you wanna go?”

“I think I know a place we can go.” Slade says, placing a finger on my lips, and tracing it down my chest.

He whispers his suggestion and I smile. Why didn’t I think of that? I grab my wallet and keys and we’re off.