Heart of The Tree - 18. Part II - Where is The Heart? Chapter 16

Mia was sitting in her car on the side of the road, not far from an intersection, talking on her mobile.

“Thanks for all of this, Karen. I’m hoping someone will be calling you soon with good news. Until then...”

Mia hung up and switched on the radio to keep her company, while wishing she had thought ahead enough to take along some food and drinks. After she finished talking to Shane, she had just acted. Karen had taken charge of organising things. She directed everyone with a vehicle to different locations, trying to maximise their chances of catching Vince.

Mia was interrupted a few minutes later by her phone beeping. She checked it and found that Mark had sent her a message, asking her to ring him when she had a chance. She turned off the radio and rang him straight away.

“G’day, Mia!”

“Hi, Mark. You asked me to call?”

“Yeah. I’m in position, but while we’re waiting, I wanted to get the detail on what’s going on. All your message said was that Vince was near Streecham and probably on his way back. You didn’t say how you knew.”

Mia quickly explained about the call from Shane.

“He’s one bright cookie. I may’ve thought of ringing back myself, but I doubt I would’ve done it that fast.”

From the admiration in his tone, Mia could imagine Mark shaking his head while smiling wryly as he said that.

“Rhys told me he was impressed by Shane, too. I think if all of this gets sorted out, we’ll have to send him an invite to visit. I’m really beginning to like the guy and I’m looking forward to getting to know him better when we go to uni,” Mia said.

Mark chuckled. “I have to admit that I found him a bit unnerving, but he’s certainly showing his heart is in the right place. If he helps us find Vince, I’ll swallow my prejudices and welcome him with open arms.”

“First we have to catch Vince. Karen’s worried sick that she’s made a mistake in where she’s placed everyone.”

Mark snorted. “Karen’s always worried that she’s made a mistake. I’m sure she’s done the best possible job. If we miss him, it won’t be her fault.”

They chatted for a few minutes and then returned to their separate vigils.

* * *

Vince saw a motel with a vacancy sign and a pub within walking distance. Giving in to impulse, he pulled over and made arrangements to stay the night. He decided to return to the campsite in the morning, after a few drinks to drown his sorrows and a good night’s sleep in a bed. A hot shower was the final temptation that swayed the decision, and it was the first thing he planned on doing once he was in the room. Lying in the creek was fine for cooling down and washing the sweat away, but it didn’t compare to hot running water.

As Vince was turning the taps on, he recalled Shane’s comments about skinny dipping. A smile played across his lips as he stepped under the water. He thought that had been a great day, and it sounded as if Matt agreed with him. As he let the warmth soak into him, Vince’s body relaxed and his mind went back to a happier time. There was an underlying hope that those times would return.

It wasn’t long before Vince had resolved to go back and wait for Matt. If it took another week, or even two, he was ready to wait.

* * *

“That turned out to be a waste of time,” Rhys said as he dropped into an empty chair.

He was the last one to show up at The Treasure Chest that night. He was supposed to be working but had already rung in and told his boss that he was sick. Sick-and-tired was a good description, even if he wasn’t physically ill.

“It was still worth a try,” Mia said, getting defensive.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. If the situation cropped up again I’d do exactly the same, but it’s just so frustrating not to get anything out of it! You did the right thing, Mia, and I’m sure everyone will agree with me.”

He glanced around the room and was rewarded with a chorus of agreement. “So, what’s the next step?” he asked.

“We’re making progress, but not fast enough,” Warren said from his newly habitual position by the kettle. Rhys had already noticed that he seemed to live on caffeine.

“I don’t see that we’ve gotten anywhere,” Karen said.

“On the contrary, we’ve got confirmation that Vince is staying at the same place he put Matt. That was only a guess, before. We can also be pretty sure it’s somewhere near town. It doesn’t make sense otherwise that he was in the north on Thursday and in the south today. We’ve checked all the camping sites around here, at least to the best of our abilities, so he’s probably either camping on private property or illegally on public land,” Warren said, waving his coffee cup in Karen’s direction to emphasise his point.

“I’m guessing he’s on private property, because it wouldn’t be like him to risk getting Matt in trouble with the law,” Bobby said.

Mark nodded. “I’d go with that, too. That also implies he’s gotten permission from someone to camp on their land. That makes it harder, though. How do we check out a place when we don’t know the owner? We’d just be setting ourselves up for trespassing charges.”

“Does anyone have any suggestions of whose place he’d be camped on?” Karen asked. “I haven’t got the foggiest, myself.”

There were blank looks all round.

“He’s done work for plenty of people over the years. I don’t know any of their names and it could be any of them. Without announcing he’s missing and asking for help, I can’t think how else we can get them to come forward to say they’ve given him permission to camp on their land,” Mia said.

“Let’s just hope Shane can get Matt to help,” Rhys said.

* * *

Shane arranged to head down the hallway as Matt went into his room. Carefully, he crept up and peered in. Matt was staring at the phone in his hand, his expression fluctuating between worry and relief.

“Something wrong?” Shane asked.

Matt jumped. He dropped the phone back onto his bedside table. “No, nothing’s wrong. Why should it be?” His eyes were wide as his gaze flicked around the room in a vain attempt to appear innocent.

“You’re looking concerned, that’s all. Were you expecting a call?”

“Nope. I was just checking to see if I had any messages, that’s all.”

Shane decided that the truth had the best chance of getting Matt to open up. “Vince called. I spoke to him.”

“What did he...” Matt began, and then turned away. “No! It’s none of my business.”

Shane caught the initial interest. He thought that Matt had sounded almost eager for news.

“He was quite upset that you didn’t take the call, but I told him Fee dragged you out so quickly you probably just left your phone behind by accident.”

Matt kept his back to Shane. “I don’t need to know. He’s none of my concern.”

“He’s hurting, Matt. He needs someone to talk to, and he needs it desperately.”

Shane watched as Matt brought a hand up to his face. From behind, it looked like he was pushing his fingers into the corners of his eyes, trying to stop tears from falling.

“Then you talk to him. You’ve done it before; you know what to do.”

Shaking his head, though Matt couldn’t see, Shane pursed his lips for a moment.

“I can talk to the ones who have been bullied and abused, and I can talk to the ones who need help coping with rejection. But you’re the expert on building up their confidence and making them love themselves. I can’t do that, Matt, and that’s what Vince needs. He needs someone who can show him that he’s worthy of being loved, and that’s you.”

Matt gave a bitter laugh and turned to face Shane. Matt’s eyes were bright and there were tears falling down his cheeks.

“Some expert! I failed with Gary, Shane. Despite everything I did, he died! Do you really want me to do the same to Vince? You’d’ve done a better job with Gary than I did. I don’t think I’ll be helping out this year – I don’t want to kill anyone else.”

Shane’s jaw dropped. Ever since they had started university, Matt had been involved with the gay and lesbian club, assisting with the others who were unsure, nervous or just plain frightened. He started the very first year, literally only days after beginning school, and had been doing it ever since. For him to even talk about stopping showed a dramatic drop in his self-confidence.

“I might’ve been able to help Gary, but I can’t help Vince. His situation is completely different. He needs you!”

Matt sat on his bed and dropped his face into his hands. “I can’t help him, Shane, I just can’t. I’d just make things worse.”

“Mattie...”

“Go, please, Shane. I want to be alone.”

Shane was frightened by the resigned tone. He had never seen Matt appear to give up.

“Mattie...”

“Just go. Please, just go. I don’t want to talk anymore.”

“I’ll be here for you if you need me. Just call,” Shane said as gently as he could.

Matt nodded, his face still in his hands. Shane stepped out and closed the door behind him. He stood there, shaking. He was beginning to think he was in way out of his depth.

* * *

“Can you please set the table, Warren?” Kirstie Aster called over her shoulder as she prepared the vegetables. “Everything you need is on the side table.”

“Sure, Mum.” Warren said.

He walked into the dining room and headed over to where the good china and cutlery were stacked. They only used that room for special meals, preferring to eat at the smaller kitchen table most of the time.

His legs grew weak and he had to sit down as he stared – his mum had put out four of everything. It was Christmas morning and she was getting ready to celebrate the day with her husband and both her sons.

“Dear God, if you never do anything for me ever again, can you please bring my brother back home?” Warren whispered.

With tears in his eyes, Warren laid out the table. He then returned to the kitchen where his mum was peeling potatoes. He stepped up behind her and put his arms around her. “I love you, Mum.”

“And I love you, too, but unless you’re going to help, you need to let me go. I’ve still got lots to get ready,” she replied, smiling up at him over her shoulder.

“How about I prepare the stuffing for the turkey?” he asked as he let go.

She shook her head. “We’re not having a turkey this year. Vince prefers roast beef, so that’s what I’m making.”

Warren froze. A noise attracted his attention to the hallway. His dad was standing there, shaking his head and beckoning. Warren nodded his head.

“Okay, Mum. I’ll get out of here so you can get everything ready.” He reached over and kissed her on the cheek and then followed his dad out of the room.

“She’s...” Warren started as they headed away.

“I know, son. It’s why we haven’t talked much as a family for the last week. Your mum doesn’t want to hear anything that might mean he’s not coming back. She’s expecting him home today,” Tony said quietly, glancing back towards the kitchen.

“She hasn’t gone into denial, has she?”

“I don’t think so. It’s more that she’s wishing for a Christmas miracle. She knows he mightn’t be coming home, but she’s praying with all her heart that he’ll be back, and soon.”

They stepped into the lounge room. A large Christmas tree in one corner dominated the scene. A pile of presents lay underneath, and Warren knew that almost half of them were for Vince. His friends had been dropping them off all week to add to the collection from the rest of the family.

Vince’s HSC results were sitting unopened on the mantle above the unlit fireplace. His other mail was being stored in the kitchen. Warren had taken it upon himself to pay Vince’s bills, especially the credit card. It hadn’t revealed anything new, apart from a large grocery charge in Mourton on the day he disappeared, but as long as it wasn’t cancelled, Vince would be able to pay for whatever he needed to survive.

Warren paused. “And what about you?”

Tony dropped into a chair. “I’m praying, too, but I’m too much of a realist to expect a miracle. I just want him home – I don’t care what bloody day it is!”

They sat there, lost in their own thoughts, until Kirstie came in and told them it was time to get ready for church. With forced smiles on their faces, Warren and Tony kissed her and then headed off to get changed.

Warren spent most of the service worrying about his mum and his brother. He was concerned that if Vince didn’t show up, his mother might go into a meltdown.

He started to panic at lunchtime when his mum wouldn’t let them start eating.

“We’ll just wait a little bit longer. It’s not polite to start before everyone is here,” she said before disappearing into the kitchen to make sure lunch wasn’t being ruined by the delay.

“Dad! What are we going to do?” Warren whispered.

“We wait, son. There’s nothing else to do. I’m not hungry, anyway.”

Warren sighed. “Neither am I.”

He stared at the place setting opposite him. The empty bone china plate, the stainless steel cutlery and the crystal wine glass that his mum had already half-filled with red wine in anticipation, were arranged perfectly. There was only one thing missing, and Warren couldn’t stop wondering if there was something he could’ve done to bring his brother home.

* * *

Christmas Day at the Sterlings’ was a busy occasion, and one that Shane loved. He had a quiet morning with his parents, and was very surprised by the gold chain they gave him. He put it on immediately, and was still wearing it when he went to visit Matt and his family for the afternoon. It had required a rethink on the clothes he was wearing, as it hadn’t suited his first choice, but he never considered the option of leaving it behind.

They were all in the lounge room, with paper strewn from one end to the other. Unusually, Matt was still opening presents when everyone else had finished. There was a general lethargy about him that everyone had noticed, but no one was willing to comment on. Shane had tried several times to restart their conversation from the day that Vince had called, but Matt had rebuffed him each time. He had even offered to talk to Vince, if Matt would give him the address to go to, but Matt had retreated into a shell of having nothing to do with the situation and refused to tell him. Shane had only one more thing to try, and he was desperately hoping it would work.

“Come on, Mattie, open my presents next,” Shane said, unable to keep still.

Matt laughed, but his heart didn’t seem to be in it. “Okay, Shane. Hey, I’ve got two presents from you! I thought we agreed only one each?”

Shane shrugged. “I had an idea, and I couldn’t resist, but I’d already bought you one, so... I broke the rules.” He stuck out his tongue. “So sue me! Open the small one first.”

“Thanks for the bracelet, Shane,” Fiona said. “It’s absolutely perfect!”

“I saw it, and it started jumping up and down, yelling ‘I’m Fee’s. I’m Fee’s,’ so I really didn’t have much choice.” Shane grinned. “I’m glad you like it.”

Smiling fondly at his little sister and oldest friend, Matt picked up the smaller of the two presents. He shook it.

“What is it with some guys?” Shane asked Fiona. “He’s going to open it in a few seconds, but he has to shake it first for some reason.”

“I’ve given up trying to work out Matt. When he told us he’s gay, that was the final straw – how am I ever to understand guys when they don’t make sense?”

Shane sniggered, but kept his attention on Matt, who had just removed the wrapping paper.

“I hope it’s not an engagement ring, Shane,” Matt joked lamely as he looked at the small jewellery box.

“I’ve told you before, you’re not my type,” Shane said, watching intently. Matt appeared to be making an effort to be more social – something he hadn’t done all week – and Shane hoped that might just help him break through his shell.

Matt opened the box. His jaw dropped.

“What the...?”

Shane grinned broadly. “I told you bad boys get a lump of coal as a present. You’ve been particularly naughty this year, so I got you some extra special lumps of coal.”

“What did he give you?” Mrs. Sterling asked.

Matt handed the box to his mum. He shook his head in disbelief as he stared at Shane.

“Diamond studs!” Mrs. Sterling said.

“Let me look!” Fiona said as she slid up to look over her mother’s shoulder. “They’re gorgeous! Matt, if you don’t wear them, I will!”

“How could you afford them?” Matt asked.

“Well... they’re not real diamonds, but that’s okay because you haven’t really been bad. I wanted to get the real thing, but the prices were astronomical, and they wouldn’t sell me just one – I had to get two!” Shane rolled his eyes at the memory.

“I still think they’re wonderful,” Fiona said. “I know what I want for my birthday!”

“Don’t you think it’s time you got your ears pierced?” Shane asked Matt, raising his eyebrows.

“Say no, Matt! That way I can have them,” Fiona said.

A smile slowly crept across Matt’s face. He nodded his head in Shane’s direction. “Okay. You win with this one. I’ll get them pierced in the new year. You shouldn’t’ve, but they’re a great present. Thanks, mate.”

“But I still get to borrow them whenever I want,” Fiona said, hands on her hips, daring her brother to disagree.

Shane was happy. He was pleased with the response, which appeared to put Matt into a good mood for the next present. He was finally showing some animation.

“What’s this one, Shane?” Fiona asked, as she moved over to sit next to Matt.

“You’ll see soon enough,” Shane said, leaning forward in anticipation.

Matt was careful picking at the tape that was holding the paper on the thin, rectangular gift.

“Just rip the paper off. There’s no need to be careful,” Shane said, frustrated at how long Matt was taking, while knowing that he was doing it deliberately.

“But you wrapped it so beautifully! I can’t just rip it – it wouldn’t be right.”

“Oh, Matt. Stop playing around. I want to see what you got,” Fiona said, elbowing her big brother in the ribs.

Matt laughed. “Okay.”

He ripped the paper off one side to reveal the back of a picture frame. He slid it out and turned it over.

“Hey, he’s cute! Who is he?” Fiona asked.

Matt didn’t move as he stared down at the picture of a smiling young man in a tight-fitting T-shirt, leaning against an old wooden fence.

“That’s Vince, the guy I think Matt’s in love with,” Shane said. Out of sight of Matt, he was crossing his fingers.

“Wow, I can’t wait to meet him, and why haven’t you said anything about him, Matt?” Fiona asked.

Matt ignored her. He stood up and glared down at Shane. “Where did you get this?”

“Do you like it?” Shane asked. Anger wasn’t the emotion he had hoped for, but it was an improvement on lethargy.

Eyes fixed on Shane, Matt flicked the picture across the room. The smashing of the glass silenced everyone except Matt.

“WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PICTURE?”

“I asked Mia to email it to me,” Shane said, trying hard to avoid cringing away.

“Mia! You’ve been sneaking around behind my back and conspiring with that group of bastards, haven’t you?”

“Damn it, Mattie! Why won’t you just admit that you’re in love? Is it that hard for you?”

Matt snarled. “How would you know anything about being in love?”

Shane went pale at the strike. He leapt to his feet, shaking with a long-held pain. “YOU BASTARD!”

Shane ran to the door. He fumbled for a moment before he got it open and sprinted outside.

“Wait! I’m sorry!”

Shane ignored Matt. Tears blurring his vision, he ran across the lawn and then down the slope towards the paddocks. He didn’t have a goal in mind – he just wanted to get away. He realised he had failed with Matt, failed Vince and his friends and family, and now the one person his own age that cared for him had kicked him in the emotional stomach.

He reached the fence and hesitated a moment. He turned to the right to head towards the gate, but was tackled after taking only a few steps.

“I’m sorry, Shane, I really am.”

Shane twisted around to see Matt on top of him. Matt pushed himself up with his arms, but kept his weight on Shane’s lower body.

“Get off me, you bastard,” Shane said, beating at Matt’s chest with his fists, having no discernible impact.

“Please, Shane. I didn’t mean it – it just popped out.”

Shane collapsed back and closed his eyes. The tears started pouring out again.

“But you did mean it, and it’s also true. That’s what hurts so much.”

Shane felt Matt get off him, but he didn’t move. He knew running was useless, so he just lay there, letting loose the feelings of pain and rejection from years of experiences. When someone gathered him into their arms, he let himself be comforted.

“I wish there was something I could do, I really do.”

Shane sniffed, opened his eyes and found himself being held to Matt’s chest.

“Did you know there are times that I wish I were gay?” Shane asked.

“What?” Matt asked, easing away so he could look Shane in the eye.

“Since I’ve started uni, I’ve had two guys hit on me – both of them were good catches, too – but I had to tell them I’m straight. On the other hand, I can’t get a single girl to treat me as anything but another one of their girlfriends. It’s not what I want, but people see me and just assume I’m gay. I’ve even given up on saying anything. It’s only close friends that I bother telling.”

“You never told me about those guys. Who were they?”

“Does it matter? They were both gentlemen and told me that they were sorry. If only I were gay....”

Matt pulled Shane back into his chest and held him tightly.

“It’s also why I’m so frustrated with you. You’ve got a real chance for love, Mattie, and you’re throwing it away. I’m likely to have to take the first girl that shows an interest, because I may never get another opportunity, but you don’t seem to want to be in love.”

Shane felt Matt go tense.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Gary’s not your fault, Mattie,” Shane whispered.

Matt pushed him away. Shane looked up to see that his friend seemed frightened.

“What’s Gary got to do with it?” Matt asked, avoiding eye contact by looking over the paddocks.

“His memory is coming between you and Vince, isn’t it? You’re feeling guilty that he died, aren’t you?”

Matt started to rise, but then dropped back onto the grass. He gave a single nod.

“So you’ve giving up on Vince, letting him waste away, and giving up something you really want, all because Gary couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer?”

“I killed him, Shane. If it wasn’t for me, he’d still be alive!”

Shane moved over and snuggled up against Matt. He needed the physical touch and he thought Matt might, too. He was rewarded by Matt pulling him close again. For the umpteenth time, Shane wished he could love Matt the way Matt needed, but he knew it wasn’t going to happen. Shane was hoping Vince would be able to give his friend what he couldn’t.

“If anyone killed Gary, it was his dad. Gary was ready to cling to anyone who showed him some affection, and it just happened to be you. It’s not your fault, it’s his dad’s.”

Matt sighed. “If only I could believe that.”

“Will you at least be honest with me? Do you love Vince?”

Matt was silent for several seconds. “Honestly? No. I don’t know him well enough to say I love him, but I think I could come to love him, given enough time.”

Shane frowned while he tried to work out what that meant. “Are you saying that you don’t have feelings for him?”

Matt gave a soft, bitter chuckle. “Oh, I definitely have feelings for him; there’s no doubt about that. I just don’t know if they’re strong enough to be called ‘love’.”

“Why won’t you go talk to him, then?”

Matt’s reply was quiet but filled with pain. “Because if I do, then I risk doing the same thing I did to Gary. What if I end up deciding I don’t love him? Will I have another death on my hands?”

“What if you don’t go to him? What do you think he’ll do? What if you go and do fall in love? Do you think you just might save him?”

“You have a habit of asking hard questions,” Matt said, giving Shane an appreciative squeeze.

“How about you stop thinking and let your heart have a say in things for a change?”

“I just don’t know what to do!”

Shane waited to see if Matt would say anything else. When it was apparent he wasn’t going to, he tried one more time. “If you’re not sure for yourself, how about doing it for me?”

“For you? What do you mean?”

Shane realised he was making a mistake. He shook his head, furious with himself. “Forget it. It’s foolish and selfish. Just forget what I said.”

Matt pulled Shane around so he could look into his eyes. “You mean a lot to me, Shane. If you’ve got a stake in all of this, I want to know what it is.”

Shane took a deep breath before he spoke. He knew the odds were against him, but he had never stopped dreaming.

“If Vince is The Heart of The Tree, then he’s linked to The Lovers’ Tree. You can ask him to help me with someone who I think might just see me as I really am.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been chatting with Mia each night, and I like her. You’ve spent time with her. Do you think I’ve got a chance of it going further?”

“Mia?” Matt said, and then pursed his lips as he thought about it. “I don’t really know, but she’s a good one for seeing past stereotypes. I can’t say, but I wouldn’t rule it out.”

“Then will you help me? And maybe help yourself at the same time?”

Matt sat there, arms around his friend. Shane let him think. It was several minutes before anything happened.

“If I go see him, will you pick up the pieces if it all falls apart?” Matt asked in a quiet, fearful voice.

Shane sensed that Matt would be one of the pieces that would need picking up. He was tempted to chicken out, but he had faith it wouldn’t come to that.

“Yes.”

Matt let go and rose to his feet. He reached down and helped Shane up. “Okay. I just need to apologise to Mum and Dad, and then I’ll go. Can you look after Fiona while I’m gone?”

Shane pouted. “Are you trying to leave me behind? I’m sorry. If you’re heading off, I’m coming with you – to make sure you don’t run away, if nothing else.”

Matt’s lips twisted in a half-smile. “And seeing Mia again has nothing to do with it?”

Shane shrugged. “Maybe.”

Matt gave a short chuckle. “Okay. We’ll apologise for not staying for dinner, and then get going. We should be there before dark.”

He strode back towards the house. Shane stood for a moment before letting out a huge sigh of relief at finally being able to make Matt act. He glanced down and made a face.

“Damn you, Mattie. I’ve got a grass stain on my shirt!” he muttered to himself.

* * *

“You could’ve given me more time to pack!” Shane said as he sat sulking in the passenger seat of Matt’s car, arms crossed.

“You’re the one who insisted on coming along. If you’d thought about it, you’d’ve realised that I wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. I can’t show up, get Vince, and then turn around immediately and leave again,” Matt said.

“Well, yes, it’s obvious in hindsight, but you only gave me ten minutes at home to pack! I had to throw everything in and it’s going to take me ages to sort them all out when we get there. I hope I’m not going to need to get changed anytime soon, because I’m going to look like a tramp if I do – everything is going to be wrinkled!”

Matt chuckled but didn’t respond.

Shane reached down to the bag at his feet and pulled out his phone. He paused for a moment to look at the picture of Vince that Matt had stuck to the dashboard. It was scarred from the broken glass, but Matt had rescued it when he had returned to the house and wasn’t letting it out of his sight.

“What are you doing?” Matt asked.

“I’m ringing Mia to tell her we’re on our way,” Shane said.

“No, don’t!”

Shane looked at him in surprise. “Why ever not?”

“Because I don’t want to build up hopes, just in case it all turns out badly.”

Shane paused and then reluctantly agreed. “Okay, that makes sense.”

He rummaged in the bag again and pulled out his wallet.

“What are you doing now?”

“If I can’t ring Mia, there’s one person I am going to call: Warren, Vince’s brother. They, at least, need to know we’re coming.”

Matt made a face but nodded his head. “Okay, but just him.”

Shane found the business card that Warren had given him the week before. He dialled the number listed for the mobile phone.

“Warren Aster.”

Shane frowned at the dead tone. “Hi, Warren! It’s Shane. Matt and I are on our way and will be there in about three to four hours. Don’t celebrate yet, but there’s hope.”

“Shane, you little beauty! Just a sec,” Warren said, suddenly animated. Shane heard Warren yelling to someone. “Matt’s on his way here!”

There was a response that Shane couldn’t make out.

“Just a sec and I’ll ask him,” Warren called out in reply. “Shane, are you going to pick up Vince on the way through, or coming here first.”

Shane lowered the phone and looked across at Matt. “He wants to know if we’re picking up Vince on the way to their place or not.”

“We’ll be going there first, and I’ll be dropping you off before I go on to see Vince. They need to be aware that there’s still a chance he won’t want to come home.”

Shane’s eyes opened wide. “You’re not taking me?”

Matt shook his head. “No. Vince wants to see me, and just me. I think he’ll come back, but it’s his choice.”

Shane put the phone back to his ear. “Matt said...”

“I heard,” Warren interrupted. “I’ll just tell Mum and Dad.”

After a short conversation between Warren and his parents, Shane heard a masculine voice say, “Give me the phone.”

“Matt, this is Tony. Can you...”

“Mr. Aster, Matt’s driving. I’m Shane.”

“Oh. Er... can you tell Matt to tell Vince that no matter what, we still love him and we’d like him to come home, even if it’s only to visit.”

Shane glanced across at Matt. “Okay, Mr. Aster. I’ll tell him, but you’ll get a chance to say it yourself when we get there.”

“All right. I’ll put you back to Warren.”

“I’ll let you go, Shane. I just want to say you have no idea how happy you’ve made us. You’re a bloody miracle worker! We’ll see you between six and seven, then.”

Shane grinned. “Thanks, Warren. See you soon. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Shane!”

Shane hung up the phone and put it back in his bag.

“Vince’s dad asked if you could tell Vince that they still love him and they really want him to come home, even if it’s only for a visit.”

Matt nodded, his face grim. “I hope you haven’t raised their hopes too high. He hasn’t tried ringing me since last weekend when you spoke to him. There’s still a chance he’s done something stupid.”

“Have faith, Mattie. He’ll be there waiting for you. Which reminds me....”

Matt glanced quizzically at Shane before returning his attention to the road. “What?”

“I need you to do me a favour.”

“A favour? Now? I’m not doing enough as it is?” Matt asked, sounding incredulous, but his smile showed he was only playing. “What do you want?”

“I don’t want to appear to be a liar, so put a goofy face on and tell me about the time you went skinny-dipping with Vince.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Shane looked out the side window to keep Matt from seeing his red face.

“Well... when I was chatting with Vince, I needed to tell him something to give him hope, so I told him that you get this goofy look on your face whenever you tell me about the time you went skinny-dipping with him. I thought it would help him while he waited.”

“You did what?”

“It’s not a lie,” Shane said defensively. “You’ve never told me the story, so that means you’ve never told it without a goofy face.”

Shane was relieved to hear Matt’s laugh. It was the first natural-sounding laugh he had heard from Matt all week.

“Okay, but where did you get that story from? The only ones there were Vince, Pat and me.”

“Mia told me that Vince mentioned it the night Pat’s boyfriend showed up.”

“Did he? I don’t remember, but I was pretty drunk that night. Since you know about it, he obviously did.”

“Well, are you going to tell me?”

Matt chuckled. “All right. Here it goes, including all the gory details that’ll make a straight guy like you squirm in your seat.”

Shane settled back and switched off. He didn’t need to listen, he just wanted to reinforce Matt’s thoughts of Vince. Once Matt set his mind on doing something, he usually followed it through, but Shane saw no harm in trying to make sure.

* * *

Matt pulled into the secluded corner of the Islington farm where he had camped previously. The sun was casting long shadows across the area, but Matt could see where Vince’s ute was parked next to a tent. There was no sign of Vince.

Matt sat in his car while he tried to psych himself up for what was about to happen. Shane had tried to go with him, as had Warren, but Matt had been firm – he had to do this himself, and alone. He was feeling as nervous as the day he first asked a guy out on a date. He was hoping the chat with Vince would go better than that occasion. He deliberately pushed one possibility forVince’s absence out of his mind.

Matt stepped out of the car and headed towards the stream. It was only a short walk through the underbrush and trees. He relaxed slightly when he saw a familiar figure sitting on the bank where erosion had left the water a couple of feet below, his legs dangling over the edge. A fishing pole was stuck in the ground nearby.

Vince looked around, nodded to acknowledge Matt’s presence, and then turned his attention back to the stream. He picked up a rock from the ground by his side and lazily threw it into the water.

“I’ve been hoping you’d come.”

Matt’s walk slowed as he tried to sort out how Vince sounded. The words were optimistic, but the tone was dead. He stopped next to the younger guy and stood staring down at the top of his head.

“I didn’t know how much longer to wait, though. How long does someone have to wait to find out what’s going to happen to their life?” Vince asked.

Matt sat down on the grass to Vince’s left. Cautiously, he reached out his right arm and lay it across Vince’s shoulders. Some of the tension left Matt when Vince responded by leaning against him.

“I’m here now,” Matt said, trying to be as tender as possible.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you to come here.”

Matt gave a soft chuckle. “Mia and Mark bailed me up in Dubbo. Mia started by asking if I’m gay, and then when I confirmed it, she asked me if I knew that you’re gay, too. She also asked if I have feelings for you.”

“I could’ve killed Rhys for outing me. A small country town is no place to be gay. But he also gave me the one thing that could make me forgive him: hope.”

Vince twisted so he could see Matt’s face. “What did you tell Mia when she asked about me?”

“I didn’t.”

“Will you tell me?”

Matt nodded and then took a couple of deep breaths. What he had gone there to do wasn’t easy. He looked over the creek, trying to let the tranquil setting calm his nerves.

“A few weeks ago, a guy told me he loved me, and he wanted to find out if I loved him, too. I told him I didn’t. He was a friend, a gay friend, but nothing more than that. That was the last I saw of him. He’s now buried in the Mourton cemetery.”

Vince stiffened, but Matt squeezed his shoulders and waited for him to relax.

“I don’t believe in love at first sight. That’s lust or physical attraction, not love. To me, love comes from knowing a person, and that takes time. You want to know if I love you, don’t you?”

Matt looked down to see Vince nodding his head and starting to gnaw at his lower lip.

“I don’t love quickly, Vince. I got into a bad relationship when I started uni because I gave my heart away too fast, and I’m still recovering from that. It takes me time before I can allow myself to love someone. But, if you’re willing, I’m happy to take that time with you. I can’t guarantee it, but I think I could find myself falling for you in a way I’ve never done before. Will you give me that time?”

It was Matt’s turn to wait nervously, and he watched Vince stare out across the water to the bushland beyond. A light breeze cooled the skin, but Matt didn’t notice. The laughing call of a nearby kookaburra blended into the background as his attention remained focused on the guy he wanted as his boyfriend.

“Did they tell you about The Heart of The Tree?”

“They told me about it. That’s why it’s taken me this long to come out to find you. I don’t like being told who I’m supposed to love. I also didn’t like realising that I’m partially responsible for Gary’s death. But I can’t deny the feelings I’ve got, and so I came to find you.”

“So... you know that we’re supposed to fall in love and get married.”

Matt frowned at Vince’s bitter tone. He wasn’t sure what had prompted it. He doubted it was the falling in love part, so it had to be the marriage bit.

“We don’t have to do what we’re told. If it makes you happy, we can move out to where my family lives once we’ve finished uni. They all know me there, and it’s safe – well, as safe as anywhere can be. My younger sister already wants to meet you, and she was disappointed when I told her you don’t have a brother around her age.”

“Is that Fiona?”

“Yes. How did you know her name?”

Vince laid his head on Matt’s shoulder. “Your friend Shane mentioned her when I tried to ring you.”

In the silence that followed, Matt realised that Vince hadn’t answered his question. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Matt asked.

Vince lifted his head and straightened up so their eyes were level, their noses almost touching. “Yes,” he whispered, and leaned forward for his first real kiss.

* * *

Warren was standing by the kitchen window. His mum and dad were sitting at the table, Tony alternately squeezing and patting Kirstie’s hand. Shane was in a corner, playing with his mobile phone.

“There’s a car coming!” Warren called out as he rushed to the door.

His parents scrambled to their feet and followed him outside. Shane crossed his fingers and moved to the window. He thought it would be best for Vince to be welcomed by his family without a stranger present.

Shane frowned as he saw Matt’s car approaching. He had expected two vehicles. Matt had indicated that the camping site wasn’t too far away, so when he hadn’t returned after an hour, Shane and Warren had taken that as a good sign – that Matt and Vince were talking – but it hadn’t relieved the stress that Mr. and Mrs. Aster had been experiencing. The sun had just set when Warren spotted the dust cloud coming up the driveway.

Shane smiled with relief when the car pulled up and two figures got out. He didn’t understand why they hadn’t brought back Vince’s ute, or why Matt was wearing a different shirt, but he didn’t think it was important.

While Vince was being progressively smothered by bear hugs from his dad, mum and brother, Shane picked up his phone. Mia had given him the numbers for all her friends, but he hadn’t yet had a reason to use them. He hit the button to broadcast the text message he had prepared in anticipation of good news.

Vince is home. Merry Christmas, everyone!