Summer Camp - 10. Escapism

“Race ye tae tha other side?” Paddy smirked at the others on the bank. Troy sniggered.

“Only if you’re sure you want to be eating my wake.”

“Oohh, look at Mr confident.” Ava stripped off her t-shirt, revealing a slender bikinied body, “Hark at you. I’ll make you regret that.”

“You’re all screwed.” Nic shook his head, “I know this lake backwards, and it’s further than it looks.”

Paddy grinned.

“Well I think y’all are mad.” Sean shook his head. “Noah’s on the other side to confirm scores. No sore losers.”

Paddy rolled his shoulders as he took off his shirt.

“You guys are gonna be buying me a lot a’ beers ye ken.”

“Just for national pride,” Nic scoffed, “I’ll make you pay for that.”

“Ready?”

Paddy crouched.

“Set?”

Troy looked at him across the line, and winked. Paddy felt his heart glow a little.

“Go!”

Not for nothing was Paddy the best swimmer in his family, fur or not. He leapt into the water in a flying jump, and instantly went under the surface while the humans thrashed on top of the water. He already knew he was going to beat them. They weren’t his real competition. Paddy started to pull himself through the water, equal parts hands like shovels and feet going at a dozen miles an hour. When he surfaced for his first breath he was already in the lead. They shouted and splashed their way across to the end of the big lake. Paddy leapt out on the far bank and roared in victory until Noah clapped him on the arm. Troy was hauling out of the water less than a minute later.

“I forget how fucking fast you are.”

“Ye forget a lot o’ things babe.”

“You two might be so sweet I’ll have to be sick.” Noah shook his head, “Nic is gonna be mad.”

“You jammy Scottish bastard!” Nic was wet, dripping, cold and angry at coming in last once Ava had been pulled up onto the bank by the boys, “How did you do that?”

“Oh Paddy’s a really good swimmer,” Troy mused, hands on hips, “I bet he can even catch fish with his hands.”

“Really?” Ava sounded fascinated.

“Aye. I can do tha an all. It’s good fun.”

“Teach us?”

The five of them ended up on their knees on the river bank where the little creek fed out of the lake towards the sea, while Paddy stood in the thigh high water in his soaked shorts with his hands in the water up to his elbows. He could feel Troy watching his arse.

“So ye hae tae be real patient liek. Wait for the fish tae get used tae ye an than when thay’ve forgot yer even thar, ye just close yer hands real quick and lift and throw.” Paddy took a deep breath, “Ye ready tae catch thar Troy?”

“Yup.”

“How come Troy gets to catch the fish?” Nic asked. A moment later a mid-sized trout tail slapped him around the face.

“Tha’s why. Now nae git in tha way thar.” Paddy stilled again, concentrating on the water, feeling the flow through his fingers. There was a fish, resting in the still space made by his hands, letting itself relax. Paddy took a breath, and snatched. Troy caught the trout in both hands and whacked it’s skull against the hard edge of the bank.

“Fish for dinner?” Nic asked, “That’s fucking cool man.”

Once they had enough fish to grill for the staff dinner, Ava and Noah joined Paddy in the water to hunt fish. Troy took a thumb sized knife from his boot and began to gut the trout they caught. Standing in the clear water, Paddy looked up from his tutelage to see Troy sitting on the bank watching him back.

It was amazing what a good fuck would do. Troy relaxed back in the thin sunlight, leaning back on his elbows, looking happy and satisfied as his hair dried in little snaggles all over his scalp. The light played off the thin covering of blond hairs over his chest, reflecting off the water droplets and making him shine as he sat, ankles crossed on the short grass, a pile of gleaming trout next to him. He was totally beautiful. Noah elbowed Paddy hard in the thigh and coughed pointedly.

“Huh?”

“You’re staring.”

On the bank, Troy was blushing a soft rose colour under his freckles.

They walked back, shoulder to shoulder, at the back of the line, Paddy’s t-shirt with the neck and sleeves knotted up, full of fish, slung between them. Noah was flirting softly with Ava, and the girl giggled and blushed, pushing him as they walked. Nic jogged ahead to get Sean to start the grill.

“Does this count?” Troy touched his fingers, brushing his knuckles gently as they moved.

“Wha babe?”

“As a proper date. Does this count?” Troy asked softly, keeping his voice low enough to be missed by their co-workers.

“Aye.” Paddy took his hand and squeezed briefly, “I reckon it does.”

They walked easily, touching often in the way they’d grown used to, and no one commented on their closeness. Everyone else was too distracted to notice their quiet voices, and Noah covered for them as they got close to camp, clowning around and regaling Sean with tales of fish catching while Alexia started to make arguments about the ethical gender issues of Ava needing to wear a bikini to be considered properly dressed while the boys walked openly with no tops on at all.

“Is it longer now?”

“Hmm?”

“Tha bond.” Paddy explained. “It feels longer, liek if wi needed tae we cuid be apart.”

“I don’t want to be apart from you.” Troy mumbled, “But I know what you mean. Do you think it’s because we’re getting along better?”

“I’m nae sure, but I think tha the Great Spirits work in weird an’ mysterious ways babe.”

“Well, they brought me you.” Troy glanced up at the clear sky as he spoke, “And I expect if dad is up there like you say, they must have some idea what they are doing.”

“Oi Paddy!” Sean shouted from the grill where smoke was currently pouring upwards in slightly erratic puffs and billows, “Quit hitting on the straight boys and get over here with the fish would ya?”

Troy growled low.

“Ye ken, ye cuid fix this easily babe.”

“Not yet.” Troy shot an acidic glare at Levi as he bounced on the balls of his feet like an overexcited jack russel terrier, “But if he tries to sit practically in your lap again I’m gonna tear him a new one.”

“I wish ye would.” Paddy sighed, but it had been too nice a day to spoil by arguing, so he wandered over to Sean with the collection of clean and gutted fish. “Here ye are laddie.”

“And I wondered why you didn’t own a rod and line. I suppose there’s no point if you can do that.”

“Aye.”

There was an hour until dinner. Troy smiled, and then wandered off into the woodland. Paddy didn’t follow him. The bond between them didn’t seem stretched, it hadn’t since they’d fucked with abandon in the little hollow that Paddy was beginning to think of as their space. The touch of his mate still sent delight coursing through his system, but it made his head spin a little less now that the feverish jumpy tension was gone.

Did we really just need to get laid? It can’t be this simple…

Noah dropped into the chair beside him. It was a nice day. A week of unseasonably warm weather for the beginning of June and they’d sent the students off covered in dust from head to toe and aching after their four days of madness. It had bee Nic who had suggested that after they’d opened up the tents to air they should go for a swim. Everything now was relaxed and easy. Even the niggle of Levi’s adoration, which was getting so strong that Paddy could smell the pheromones coming off the boy: and the annoying whine of Alexia complaining at Sean about the amount of carbon dioxide, and who knew what other fumes he was realising into the atmosphere just to cook dinner; things were undeniably good.

“You’re off in your own little world there Paddy.” Noah picked his nails as he spoke cleaning out bits of grass and algae, “You two got yourselves all sorted out?”

“Fer now.” Paddy exhaled and relaxed back in his chair, “Everything seems liek maybe it’ll be fine…”

“Or?” Noah arched an eyebrow at him.

“Or maybe we’ll hae another massive fight an’ end up hurtin’ each other again.” Paddy sighed deeply, “I can nae tell if we’ve really resolved anything ye ken? It feels liek goin’ backwa’s tae start bringing it all up now when we’re getting along so well.”

Noah seemed to consider this. Paddy found his gaze focused on the patch of forest where Troy had vanished. He could fee his mate moving and he wondered if he pulled on the string how much effect it would have. He closed his eyes, because it was easier to visualise the shining golden string connecting them when he’d blocked out the sight of tents and trees. Troy was in the forest, looking for something. Paddy poured his energy down the line, a gentle trickle, allowing himself to stretch out away from his body. He didn’t want to pull on Troy, didn’t want him to come right back per se, but he wanted to know what he was up to, to find out if he was thinking of his mate too. It was a shock, like cold water to the face, to find the image of Troy in his mind, clear as day, as if he was standing in the woodland with him. Troy stopped, turned and then they were looking at each other along the golden band. Noah’s hand landing on his shoulder jumped him right back into his skin with a shout.

“You were shaking.”

Paddy clenched his teeth to stop himself from shouting out. He’d been in the forest with his mate, but hadn’t felt like this forest. It had felt, smelt and sounded for just half a second, like the forest of home mixed in some indescribable way with the scent of his mate, the salt cold tang of the north. The big Scot shook, his skin beaded with sudden sweat in the relative cool warmth of the late afternoon sun.

“Paddy?”

“I’m OK.” Paddy stood, rolling his shoulders, “I’m fine.”

The need to be home was suddenly more than he could take. It had been five weeks since he’d smelt the lush thick pines of the forest back home, five weeks since he’d last seen his parents, had his senses filled with the feeling of being amongst clan and family and he missed it. Missed it terribly. Paddy wanted to be home.

In cabin four, he had the next best thing. Ten minutes later exited the little wooden house dressed in his dark grey jacobite shirt, which still smelt of home and the sand-soap his mother used in their washing machine, and his great kilt, belted about the waist with the excess cloth drawn over his shoulder and tucked in.

“Well don’t you look like you’re ready to go and punch down a mountain?” Levi, all smiles, touched his shoulder as he came alongside, “Those are good colours on you.”

Paddy flinched.

“Them thar are clan colours. Nae two ways aboot it.”

Levi didn’t say anything, but simply stroked the folds of the cloth which fell loose over Paddy’s shoulder.

“I think it’s sexy.” Levi’s voice dripped with suggestion, “Very rough and manly. I like that.”

When he took Paddy’s arm again, it was too much, and the bear had had enough. Paddy flicked his hand away like so much kindling.

“I nae care aboot what ye liek.” He snarled, “I aten’t int’rested!”

Troy! He thought, sending the signal along the wire from his heart. I need you now.

And there it was like a thump to the sternum, an answering signal. It was Troy flavoured, cool and salty like licking an iceberg, and Paddy could almost make out words, but not enough to hear them. But there was definite sense that not only had Troy heard him, but he had listened. Levi looked shocked, and upset, on the verge of tears as Paddy turned away from him and walked, as calmly as he could force himself too, towards where the rest of the team lounging in the light of the falling sun, drinking beers and laughing. Ava was back in t-shirt and thick snuggly jumper, because it was warm, but not too warm, and Paddy managed a smile as she waved at him.

“Paddy! Will you teach us how to hunt more stuff?”

“I’m sorry lass?”

“Like rabbits and things. The fish thing was really fun.”

“I’m a pescatarian pet. I dae nae hunt rabbits.” The conversation wasn’t holding his attention, because Troy was nearer now, and Paddy could smell him, “Troy’s yer man fer all tha. He ken everything aboot tha wild.”

“Really?”

“Aye, his Da taught him. That’s why he’s here ye ken, regular bushcraftsman is our Troy.” Paddy smiled, and then he felt the tug at his heart, making him step backwards suddenly.

Patrick!

It was as though Troy had spoken in his ear, right down to the texture of his breath on Paddy’s skin, and he shivered involuntarily. It was the nicest, strangest feeling and Paddy pushed his hand quickly over his groin.

Down boy.

“Hey you.” Troy was walking out of the forest behind the cabin with three long pieces of wood over his shoulder and a wide bladed machete in his free hand, “I got wood.”

“So I see.” Me too. “Thay look a bit thin fer tha fire pet.”

Troy jabbed him in the shoulder with the butt of the knife. It was just an excuse to be close, and to step very prominently into the line of sight separating Paddy and Levi.

“It’s not for the fire you lug. I’m gonna teach you and Sean to make bows, and the wood needs to dry out before we can use it properly.”

“It does?” Paddy raised an eyebrow at his mate.

“Do you know nothing about the forest?” Troy joked, “Come on, let me measure you.” He took the longest of his three sticks and held it up against his mate. It was taller than the big Scot by about two feet. “That will do nicely I think. I knew you’d be an oak person. Sean’s got ash.”

“So wi jus’ hae tae wait fer ages now?” Paddy frowned.

“No actually, just a week. Then we rough them out. The wood will dry quicker and we’ll be able to get some decent progress on them weekend after next maybe? If it stays hot and dry, no humidity.” Troy stuck the machete in the ground and held the sticks upright with one arm, “You need to get them down to between eight and ten percent moisture content. You weigh them, it’s easy.”

“I niver though ye’d be good at science an’ stuff.” Paddy was genuinely surprised by the man he loved, “I were niver very good at all tha academic subjects, I just liek reading.”

“Stick with me bud. Come on.”

Paddy desperately wanted to touch his mate again, but even without looking, he knew Levi was still watching them. His jealousy tasted like tin and cheap plastic, tainting the wonderful scent of grilled fish. Sean was deeply excited to begin bow making, which Troy promised they would start as soon as they could. Everyone apart from Alexia had the fish, and Paddy got extra, having been the one to catch most of them. As Troy cracked open a beer, Paddy put a small handful of salad on his plate.

“What are those funny coloured things?” Troy held up the slice of cucumber like it was about to take a bite out of him.

“Vegetables. They’re good for you.” Paddy knocked his knee and smiled, “You’ll live.”

“Do you seriously not eat any vegetables?” Alexia queried in an acid tone. She had prepared the salad, because the produce had to be sliced in a certain way to preserve the ‘essential essence of their naturalness.’ Sean had let her get on with it, because it meant he hadn’t had to leave the grill.

“Nae, he does nae eat any green things.” Paddy shook his head and sighed, “How ye d’nae hae scurvy yet is anyone guess Troy.”

“It works for me. Leave off.” Troy pushed the salad to the edge of his plate and Paddy sighed, disappointed. “Oh fine!” Troy wrapped the cucumber and peppers up in the big green lettuce leaf and ate it, quickly and with much crunching, “Happy now?”

“Aye.”

It was Noah and Levi’s turn to wash up, and once they’d closed up the tents, the evening found them all sitting in the mess hall. Sean was flicking through one of his cook books, all of them slightly dog eared and stained, Nic was drinking his way down his third beer and showing Ava how to tie a series of complicated knots for climbing. Paddy sunk onto the sofa with a sigh.

“I got something for you.” Troy elbowed his shoulder softly, “Here.”

Paddy took the little sharp bladed knife and the block of wood from his mate.

“I’m makin’ a tiny bow fer bunnies tae use against ya?”

“No you- oh…” Troy sighed, “You’re joking.”

“Aye lad.” Paddy turned the little block of wood over in his hands. It was rather yellow, with a sort of close textured grain, a bit of bark on one side and about five inches long. “An’ wha dae I do now pet?”

Troy sighed and shook his head.

“It’s a whittling knife. That is a block of pine. Carve something.”

“Jus’ liek tha?”

“Just like that.” Troy padded his shoulder, “You’ll be fine. It’ll come to you.”

Paddy turned the wood over and over in his fingers, stroking the rough surface with the pads of his thumbs. Wood carving was not something he had ever done, and it was becoming clear to him more and more, his experiences as a teenager were much, much more similar to normality than Troy’s had been. He tried the knife against his thumb, and then sucked the digit as he sliced himself. Well of course it was sharp. The wood was soft, pale yellow, with a nice straight and even grain. It looked easy enough to work with. It didn’t look like there was a shape in the wood. But Troy was sitting on one of the two old barstools with his sketchbook and his charcoal, drawing in soft silence.

Paddy sighed.

Just like that… Troy had said. As if it was totally easy.

Paddy chipped away at one end of the wood where the bark was with the knife and found the pieces came away smooth as warm butter in summer. The shavings gathered in the folds of his kilt, and Paddy found himself slumped in his seat, holding the wood close to his chest, carving with the knife away from himself, intent of everything he did, but not really focused on anything.

“What are you making?” Noah asked as he dropped down onto the opposite chair. He did not have a beer, but a half sized bottle of Jack Daniels and a handful of short glasses which he started lining up along the table. “Looks cool.”

“It’s nothin’ really,” Paddy started, and then looked again at the wood in his hands. Without him noticing it, the block of pine had started to take shape. And it looked, unsurprisingly, rather like a bear standing on hind legs. “Huh.”

“Cool dude. You want a drink?”

“Not while you’re holding a sharp object Paddy. You need all your thumbs.” Nic said without looking up. Paddy shook his head.

“I’ll pass laddie. Ye go ahead.”

The room filled with the soft sound of chatter, the laughing of Noah and Sean as they drank and chatted. Alexia walked off in a huff after Noah told some joke or other that she took odd offense at and Ava joined in drinking with the boys. Paddy sat and carved his little block of wood, rotating the shape in his hands, whittling away here and there, turning and carving until he was happy with his shape.

The pine was smooth where it had been cut, as smooth as finished wood might be once sanded, and the pieces of the grain came away easily and gently with not too much pressure. He didn’t really try, but somehow in his mind, the shape ended up looking a little like his father, who had always been one for standing and walking on his hind paws, often with Paddy’s mother in his arms. With the flat of the blade he smoothed down the bear’s muzzle and tidied up around his little round ears, before staring at the shape in his hands. He missed home.

Paddy had never been overly attached to his home, or at least, he hadn’t thought so before. After all it had been his idea to go away and spend the whole four month summer in the south of England. But now, holding a little carving in his hand which looked and felt like his father, he wanted to cry.

Let them know I love them. Please Great Spirits, tell them I love them. Paddy sniffed and rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, hoping no one would notice. It was a bit pathetic, a twenty year old missing home and family, and Paddy knew lots of guys his age couldn’t wait to leave and be away from their parents. He felt for the line around his heart, and found Troy already there.

“Troy.”

Paddy got up and walked out of the mess hall, heading towards cabin four. Troy followed him out as he reached the door into their little house. The bear collapsed on the bed, forcing himself to breathe evenly, not to give in to the desire to shift.

“Babe?”

“I miss me Da.” As soon as the words were out, Paddy wanted to take them back. How fucking insensitive could he be to the man he loved?

“It’s alright babe. I understand. Can I see?” Troy sat beside him wrapping an arm over his shoulder as he took the little carving, “He looks a bit like you. You take after your dad eh?”

“I’m taller.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Troy turned over the little carving in his hands, “This is your totem now Paddy. It means something.”

“Eh?” Paddy took the little bear from Troy’s waiting fingers, and was surprised at how hard he needed to grip it now it was back in his hands.

“You believe in the Great Spirits right? Well if our ancestors can watch over us from all the way up there, your dad can look after you here too. I promise. The first carving you do is always imbued with power, especially one which you don’t even pay any attention too. You took the knife and the wood and it all came through you, right into your hands. Am I correct?”

“Aye.”

“Call your father, speak to him, tell him about the totem you’ve made, and you’ll see. If you both want it enough, he can be with you through that little bear you’re holding right now.”

“An I thought tha little wooden animals were jus’ fer toys.” Paddy tried to laugh as he spoke, purely to stave off the tears that threated to come and overwhelm him.

“And why do you think we used to give our cubs images of their parents? It helps them to forge those connections, those bonds. And now we have a bond all our own.”

Paddy kissed the back of Troy’s knuckles, and pressed his lips to the head of the wooden carving, kissing the little bear in his hands. He wished his father were there, just for one moment.

“In the woods. What happened?”

“I’m not sure Patrick, but it was definitely special. It smelt for a moment just like being back home in Norway.”

“Fer me tae. I wonder wha it means.”

“We got time babe, we’ll work it out. Call your dad. You’ll feel better, you’ll see.”

“I love you.” Paddy looked up from where he sat to the shape of his lover in the doorway, silhouetted against the black sky and trees outside. Troy looked relaxed, happy, settled. It was the image Paddy wanted to tell his father about, the man who smiled and was confident and knowledgeable and loved him.

“I know.” Troy tugged a little on the string that bound them, “I know babe.”